


even the best of us fall

by solinasolina



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: (i can promise that clarke and lexa will not die in this fic), Alternate Universe - Assassins & Hitmen, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Assassins, Blood, Character Deaths, Drug Use, F/F, F/M, Gen, Guns, Slow Burn, Smut, Torture, Violence, assassin!clarke, assassin!everyone basically, assassin!lexa
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-16
Updated: 2017-06-06
Packaged: 2018-07-24 09:01:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 187,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7502271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/solinasolina/pseuds/solinasolina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[AGENT 307 FILE]<br/>Name: Lexa Woods<br/>D.O.B: 1st July 1988<br/>Entered The Ark: 5th March 2007<br/>Graduation: 5th February 2008<br/>Status: Deceased [8th May 2012]</p><p>Or that’s what the official Ark files say anyways. But Lexa Woods is definitely not dead. Four years after she faked her death she’s back and ready to take down the very organisation she was once a part of. Loyalties will be tested and relationships will be pushed to the brink as Lexa brings a war against people she once fought alongside with - people she even once considered friends. </p><p>it's a nikita au </p><p>or alternatively, the rogue assassin au</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. the beginning of the end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im back and with a new fic!
> 
> this fic will follow the basic storyline from nikita. i've kept a few things the same and changed up a few things as well. it's going to be long and very angsty and im very excited to get this going.
> 
> happy reading!

_Tick._

_Tick._

_Tick._

Lexa watches as the second hand ticks over the six, then the seven. She’s spent the last two days trying to fix this watch, spent more money than she probably should have and more time she probably would care to admit. But she’s kept this watch safe for the last four years and made a promise to return it, and Lexa had every intention to do so.

It was a classic, simple watch. It had a dark brown leather strap, white face with a silver edge with silver roman numerals around the circle. Lexa tinkers a little further with the back of it, tightening a few of the screws before adjusting it to the correct time.

9:10 AM

Lexa wipes the front face of the watch with a small cloth and puts it aside. She drops her head into her hands and lets out a long, deep sigh. Her life has anything but normal, but the last four years have just been beyond anything she could imagine. But there was no turning back now. Everything is now in its place and everyone was ready to go. It was now, officially, the beginning of the end.

Her phone rings and Lexa taps on her Bluetooth earpiece to answer the call. “B,” Lexa greets.

“ _Lexa.”_

Lexa lifts her head from her hands and gives her face a harsh rub. “The watch is fixed. I’m going in today.”

“ _Are you sure?”_

“It’s not like we can call quits now,” Lexa laughs sarcastically. “We’ve been working for this for the last four years. Don’t tell me you’re getting cold feet.”

“ _No. Like you said, we’ve been working at this for a while now. I want to see The Ark go down as much as you do.”_ There’s a small pause. _“How long till you think Octavia can activate the shell box?”_

“At least a couple of days,” Lexa answers.

_“A lot can happen in a couple of days.”_

Lexa sighs. “Well I gave you the opportunity to meet her but you didn’t take it. She’s a fighter and Octavia has her reasons for going into The Ark as well.”

“ _And you’re sure she’s going to be able to remain focused on the big picture?”_

Lexa stands up from her chair and starts to make her way around her loft. “Look B, stop. I know you have your concerns but I’m the one who's been with Octavia these past four years. I’ve trained her just like The Ark will. I know her, she’s a fighter and she can do this.”

“ _You’re right.”_

“Of course I am,” Lexa replies. She packs a few items into her backpack and holsters her sidearm into her belt. “I’m ready.”

“ _Okay. Sending you the address now. Good luck, Lexa.”_

“Talk to you soon.” Lexa taps her earpiece to end the call and moves back to the table to grab her phone and watch.

 **B 9:15AM  
** 4555 Thunder Street, Arkadia

She pockets both items and heads out.

Jumping into her car, Lexa types in the address and sets off for the two-hour drive. Her mind is both running with a million thoughts, but at the same time she just feels empty. There was definitely no turning back now, but it didn’t stop her from feeling sick in the stomach at what the future was going to hold.

Four years ago she faked her death to escape an organisation called “The Ark.” The Ark is a covert agency of trained assassins. It is maintained and directed by Thelonious Jaha, and funded by six of the biggest organisations in the country – a group called “The Council”.

To put it in the most basic terms, Ark agents are hired assassins. They have been trained and taught by the best to do their jobs without any questions asked. That’s what made them ruthless. That’s what made them practically unstoppable. But that was now going to change and Lexa was going to make sure of it.

Lexa was recruited into The Ark at age 19. To put it simply, she was a troubled kid. Lexa did not have the easiest life growing up, which saw her getting involved with the wrong type of people at every turn. She was no stranger to juvie and wasn’t surprised that when she was first tried as an adult – she was sentenced to 20 years in jail.

But what did surprise her is that she isn’t taken to prison. She wakes up in a bright white room and meets Jake Griffin. And that’s where her Ark story begins. They told her that they were going to give her a second chance and well, Lexa didn’t really have a choice. So over the next year she was trained along with a few other recruits in combat, weapons, agility, strength and IT.

She made Ark history when she graduated to field agent in just under a year later, which saw her being placed in the Alpha team – The Ark’s elite team of assassins. For the next three years, she was a loyal agent, believing that what she was doing was right. But it wasn’t. There was a string of events that pushed Lexa to her breaking point. But it was the death of her girlfriend, Costia Winters, that pushed her over the edge.

So for a year after Costia’s death, Lexa remained loyal to The Ark whilst she planned her great escape. It was not easy and she almost got caught once and failed the first and second time she tried to fake her death. The third time was a success, but not entirely. Whilst Lexa was able to escape – the mission had an unexpected turn of events. An agent Lexa respected, despite the situation they were in, was killed in the process.

So for the four years after her “death” she worked day in and day out to form an elaborate plan to take down The Ark. Jaha had what he called a “black box”. It was essentially a hard drive that contained all the missions and dirty dealings The Ark has done. The information in that box had the power to bring down entire industries, which would cause worldwide damage. So the ultimate plan was to destroy the black box, then bring down Jaha and The Ark overall.

But it wasn’t that simple. Lexa wasn’t working alone and for good reason too. If The Ark has taught her anything, it was that working in a team (with people she trusted) was always better than working alone. And one of those people was Octavia Blake. For the last four years, Lexa has been training Octavia the way The Ark trained her. Octavia’s mission was to infiltrate The Ark and help take down the organisation from the inside.

Lexa knew exactly what she needed to do to get Octavia on The Ark’s radar. So just a few days before, she instigated a bank heist where Octavia was caught in the process. Octavia’s name has not shown up on any official police records, meaning that her plan worked and Octavia was in. That’s how The Ark worked – they took ‘troubled’ teens and young adults to give them “a second chance at life.”

While Lexa had plenty to do on the outside, in terms of Octavia, it was just a waiting game. Octavia needed to activate the shell box that Lexa had planted within The Ark system from the time she was still an agent. The shell box was an encrypted chat system that was hidden in the network. It would allow them to communicate whilst Octavia was undercover. It was essentially a paper-cup phone, it couldn’t be traced and it didn’t keep history logs. It couldn’t be found unless someone was looking for it.

Now with everything in play, Lexa’s first mission was to let The Ark know that she was in fact, still alive.

 

* * *

 

Lexa arrives at the address two hours later. It was like The Ark wasn’t even trying. Because for someone they have been trying to hide, trying to protect, they surely made it a bit _too_ easy to find. It’s a small, humble home but that is to be expected when there’s only one person living here. Lexa parks across the street and a couple of houses down before walking up to the house and around the back.

Picking the lock is easy enough and Lexa is inside within a matter of minutes. She walks into the living room and eyes the framed photos along the wall. There's a small pang in her chest, because despite how much the mantra of “love is weakness” is engraved into her mind, there has been two people who have made her question it. One of those people were in these photos. But that part of her life is long gone.

As if on cue Lexa hears the car drive up into the driveway. She slips off her backpack and takes out a bottle of chloroform and a cloth. Dousing the cloth with just enough of the liquid, she takes her position behind one of the walls and waits patiently to make her move. She can hear the garage closing and she’s more nervous than she’s ever been, despite being a highly trained (ex)assassin.

It’s not even a minute later that the door is opened and a familiar voice starts to echo through the house.

“ _Yeah, yoga was great this morning. Thanks for inviting me, I’ll definitely be there tomorrow.”_

Lexa takes a deep breath as the footsteps come closer to her. The hand that’s holding the cloth starts to shake and she quickly takes a moment to get herself together. Three seconds till she can make her move.

Two.

One.

Lexa steps out from behind the wall and quickly covers the woman’s mouth with the chloroform-drenched cloth. The woman struggles for a bit but the chemicals work fast. “You’re alright,” Lexa whispers as she pulls them towards the living room. Once she’s sure the woman is unconscious, she throws the cloth aside. Slowly, Lexa lies the woman down on the couch and runs back to where she left her backpack.

She returns moments later with a zip tie and threads it around the woman’s hands. Lexa lets out a small sigh in the process, “Good to see you again, _Abby Griffin_.”

 

* * *

 

Lexa sits on the couch across from Abby, her head in her hands as she waits for the woman to come to. She wasn’t here to hurt Abby – she just needed to get a message to The Ark and Abby was the perfect person to give it to them. Of course Lexa contemplated this decision for _months_ given her history with the Griffin family, but there was no other way.

About ten minutes pass and Abby should be waking up any moment, so Lexa refocuses. Again it hits her that there is no coming back from this. She’s started something that she now has to follow through with – which meant bringing a war against people she once fought besides, fought _for._

When Lexa sees Abby stir on the couch, she gets up and helps the woman up into a seating position. She grabs the water bottle sitting on the table and lifts it to Abby’s lips, encouraging her to take a sip. At this moment Abby still hasn’t really opened her eyes, but once she does she spits the water right back out.

Lexa takes a step back. “You’re okay, I’m not going to hurt you Abby.”

Abby lifts both her hands and realises that their tied together, it doesn’t stop her from pointing towards Lexa though. “You’re– no– no– You’re meant to be dead.”

“Not dead,” Lexa whispers as she takes a seat across from Abby.

“Lexa…? Is it really you?”

“It’s me.”

Abby shakes her head in disbelief. “It can’t be. You’re–”

“Meant to be dead,” Lexa finishes. “I know.” She pauses and takes a good look at Abby. Four years isn’t that long so the woman still looks like how Lexa remembers her. When Lexa was in The Ark, Abby was also there. She was a doctor and Lexa’s assigned psychologist. She was one of the few people Lexa really trusted in The Ark.

“How?” Abby breathes.

Lexa shakes her head this time. “ _How_ isn’t important right now. I need you to know the _why.”_

“Then why? Why are you back?”

“I need you to get a message to The Ark for me.”

Abby raises an eyebrow, “What?”

“I need you to tell them that I’m back and tell Jaha that I’m coming after him and his black box.” Lexa pauses again and tries to read the expression on Abby’s face. There’s a little bit of confusion, shock and disbelief – all of which Lexa expected.

“Why now?” Abby asks. “You are free. The Ark thinks you’re dead. You’re not on their radar – you could literally live any life you want.”

“You and I both know that we can never be free from this life,” Lexa says.

“Other agents can’t even begin to _dream_ about being in your position, Lexa. Go – keep doing what you’ve been doing for the last four years.”

“I’ve been planning to take down The Ark for the last four years,” Lexa reveals. “I’ve done too much unspeakable things, I’ve seen too much, I have the blood of hundreds on my hands.”

“Lexa…” Abby whispers. “We all do.”

Lexa shakes her head. “No. There is no turning back now.” She reaches into her jacket pocket and takes out the watch, placing it on the table and sliding it closer towards Abby. “Jake wanted Clarke to have this.”

Abby’s mouth opens slightly, as if she’s about to say something. But instead she reaches forward and takes the watch in her hands.

Lexa watches Abby stare at the watch and she takes a deep breath. “Operation Blue Box was not meant to go down the way it did. I’m four years late, but I am sorry Jake died that day.”

“Tell me what happened,” Abby whispers, her eyes still on her late husband’s watch. “He wasn’t even meant to be on that mission.”

Lexa takes a deep breath and nods. “He wasn’t but Phillip got held up on another mission and Jake put up his hand to come with. I didn’t want him to come, it was the mission I was going to escape and I didn’t want him to be in that mess but he insisted…”

 

  **May 8 th 2012**

_“It’s fine, Lexa,” Jake reassures. “You just need to download some files, right?”_

_Lexa nods hesitantly._

_“We’ll be in and out in like 10 minutes and still make it back in time to see the new recruits.”_

_Lexa wanted to say no. This was not the plan. Damn Phillip just had to get held up on another mission. Phillip was an idiot and it would have made Lexa’s escape plan so much easier. But now that Jake was on the mission – it was a different. Jake was someone Lexa respected, someone who has taught her how to keep her humanity despite what she’s become. She didn’t want him in the mess that was going to follow._

_But it’s not like she could say no. Jake was her superior and one of the top agents within the organisation. Dubbed “Operation Blue Box”, the mission was to infiltrate a house in the woods and download some files from the laptop in the main office. On this mission it was going to be Jake, Anya, Indra and herself._

_Two hours later they arrive at the house and Lexa starts to have second thoughts about her escape plan.  She had hired a third party to come and “disrupt” their mission which would ultimately lead to Lexa’s “death.” They park in the driveway. Anya and Indra remain outside to keep guard whilst Jake and Lexa make their way through the house._

_Ten minutes later Lexa has the files downloaded and they’re just about the leave. That’s when the gun fire starts. Instantly, Lexa does not have a good feeling about this. She takes out her gun, as does Jake, and they both carefully make their way back towards the front of the house._

_The gunfire continues and it only becomes more rapid. Lexa and Jake stand by the front window, trying to make out who was firing upon them. Lexa recognises the third party she hired – but it’s not just them. Theirs another group. A group she doesn’t recognise._

_Bullets shatter the glass and Jake and Lexa fall towards the floor. They don’t know where Anya and Indra are, but they have to move. So they crawl across the floor until they reach the back door and they make a run for it. They run across the uneven surface, dodging between trees to avoid the bullets that where being shot at them._

_But then Lexa trips. “Go!” she yells as Jake turns back to help her up._

_Jake doesn’t listen though, quickly running back to help Lexa up._

_“Shit,” Lexa mutters once she’s on her feet. Her ankle is twisted but she knows she has to move if she didn’t want to actually die. “I’m fine, let’s go.”_

_Jake supports Lexa as they semi jog through the woods and towards the river. It’s no use though, the people who are chasing them are gaining ground and bullets are getting closer every single time. Jake stops behind one of the bigger trees, “Wait here,” he says._

_At that moment Jake leaves Lexa to lean against the tree. “Wait!”_

_But Jake is already off and taking out his gun again. He aims towards the oncoming attackers and fires._

_One shot._

_Two shots._

_Three shots._

_Lexa hears a few grunts and moans in the distance, but then there’s another couple of shots and its Jake who lets out a loud groan. Without another second passing, Lexa draws out her gun and moves out from behind the tree. She spots the remaining two shooters and fires two shots and they fire some back. That’s all it takes for the woods to then go completely silent._

_“Jake!” Lexa limps over the Jake, whose trying his best to cover the bullet wounds in his stomach._

_“L- L- Lexa,” he breathes. “You’re not hit are you?”_

_“No,” Lexa answers. That was a lie, one of the bullets had hit her shoulder but it was a clean shot. She’s been through worse. Lexa grabs Jake’s arms and slings it over her shoulder, “Come on, we need to get you some help.” But helping Jake up proves to be an impossible task, as they both fall back towards the ground._

_“I’m not going to make it,” Jake whispers in between his heavy breaths._

_“No, don’t say that.”_

_“Come on Lexa,” he pants. “Look at me.” Jake lifts his hand off his stomach and the blood just starts to gush out._

_Lexa grabs Jake’s hands and places them back over his stomach. “No. We’re going to get you help.” She pats her pocket for her phone, but it must have fallen out when she was running through the woods._

_Jake lets out another strangled moan. With whatever strength he had left, he manages to take off his watch and hands it over to Lexa. “Give this to Clarke, tell her I love her and that I’m so proud of her.”_

_Lexa shakes her head and she doesn’t even realise she’s beginning to cry. She takes the watch._

_Jake manages a small smile, which is followed by some more heavy breaths. “Tell Abby that I’m sorry. Tell her I love her too.”_

_“Okay,” Lexa breathes. She knows very well that Jake was not going to make it. The amount of blood that he’s already lost and where he’s been shot did not paint a hopeful picture. “I’ll tell them, I promise.”_

_“Thank you,” Jake whispers. He moves his hand to grab Lexa’s. “I’m proud of you too, kid.”_

_And with that, Lexa completely breaks. She falls forward and gives Jake a hug the best she can, she sobs and she cries. “Thank you for all you’ve done for me.” She stays like this for a few moments until she hears Jake let out one final breath._

_Lexa sits herself up again and gives her head a good shake. She wipes her eyes and tries to figure out a plan from here. She knew she didn’t have a lot of time, and who knows when another opportunity to escape would come up again._

_She needed The Ark to think she was dead. Instantly, her mind goes back to the lifeless body that laid besides her and she cries again. She thinks about Abby and Clarke and she chokes and she finds it hard to breathe. This has gone so horribly wrong._

_After a few more moments of trying to settle herself, she comes up with a plan. It’s not a good one and she prays and apologises to anyone who is listening for what she’s going to do next. Lexa puts on Jake’s watch and stands up. She then starts to drag Jake’s body towards the river which was no more than 20 metres away._ _She knew that the rivers took a wild turn in about 100 metres, breaking off into various other streams._

_“I’m so sorry,” Lexa whispers as she drags Jake’s body into the water. If Jake’s body was in the water, it would have looked like the attackers had thrown Jake and herself into the river after they had killed them. Lexa knew that Ark agents would be all over this scene – and with her blood and Jake’s almost everywhere, no one would question if they were really dead._

_Lexa stood in the water and let go of Jake’s body. She watched as it travelled down the river, her heart breaking into a million pieces as she apologises over and over again, this time to Abby and Clarke._

**Present Day**

“He loved you both so much,” Lexa whispers. She forces herself to hold back the tears, she wasn’t going to cry in front of Abby.

Abby places the watch back down on the coffee table. “Go and be free, Lexa. You know that I care about you and if I could I would have pulled Clarke out of The Ark ages ago.”

“Jaha can’t get away with this anymore.”

Abby shakes her head. “You do this Lexa, there’s no saying how catastrophic this could be. Jaha could easily upload the information on the black boxes and that could tear this country a part.”

“That’s why I destroy the box first, then go after Jaha.”

“ _Box?_ ” Abby breathes. “Lexa, there’s _boxes._ Six of them!”

“What?”

The room goes silent.

“Six black boxes, Lexa,” Abby repeats. “Guarded by agents Jaha calls _Reapers._ They’re all over the world.”

Lexa’s mind runs a million miles a minute. This was not something she was ready for. For the last four years she’s only just found information on the one black box. “Six?” she asks.

Abby nods. “There was an incident after you “died” and Jaha wanted to protect himself a little more.”

Lexa’s chest starts to rise and fall, her breathing becomes unsteady.

“Get out while you still can, Lexa,” Abby whispers.

“I can’t,” Lexa replies. She stands up from the couch, taking out the knife in her boot and moving towards Abby.

Abby falls back against the couch, scared for what Lexa was going to do next.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” Lexa reassures. She takes the knife and cuts the zip tie from Abby’s hands. “Get my message to Jaha. I’m coming after him.”

“Lexa…”

But Lexa doesn’t stick around after that. She grabs her bag and exits the back door without turning back.

 

* * *

 

Clarke makes her way through The Ark dorm rooms. Three new recruits were brought in overnight and it was her job to give them their orientation into The Ark. Along with being a field agent, she was also Head of Recruits – which meant that she was in charge of the training and well being of these future agents. She had just finished talking to the two new male recruits –  John Murphy and Jasper Jordan and now was going to meet the female recruit.

Higher ups are always telling her to make the orientation process more time efficient, but she always refused that request. She knew that the first few hours in The Ark were the most crucial. It was beyond overwhelming and Clarke found it easier to coax the naïve recruits into the organisation one at a time.

“Hey Finn,” Clarke smiles as she reaches room. “Got the new recruit’s file for me?”

Finn hands over the file. “Don’t I always?”

“That you do, Dr Collins,” Clarke laughs. “Thanks.” She knocks on the door and opens it a few seconds later. What she sees next causes her blood to boil, the young woman is handcuffed to the bed. “Why is she in handcuffs?!” Clarke yells at the two agents in the room.

Finn steps closer to Clarke, “Did you not hear about what happened to Atom when they brought her in last night?”

“I don’t care,” Clarke replies. She turns her attention back to the two agents, “She’s like half your size! If you can’t control her than we better look at whether or not you’re fit to be an agent. So whoever has the key better use it within the next three seconds.”

And just like that one of the agents steps forward and uncuffs the woman on the bed.

“Leave us,” Clarke instructs.

Finn steps closer again, “Clarke–”

“I’ll be fine.”

Finn and the two agents leave the room, closing the door behind them. Clarke pulls up a chair closer to the bed and smiles as the young woman sits up. “Sorry about the handcuffs.”

“Where am I?” the woman asks, rubbing her wrists.

“Safe,” she smiles. She opens the file in her hands, “I’m Clarke. And you are… Octavia _Blake.”_

_Blake._

Clarke’s breath visibly hitches as she reads the last name. There was no way… No… It couldn’t be. It must have been a big coincidence that Octavia just so happened to share the last name of one of the other agents here – well former agent.

“Is that all it says in my file?” Octavia asks.

Clarke snaps out of her haze and skims the rest of the file. “You’ve got quite the record.”

“What’s new?”

Clarke looks up from the file to see Octavia looking around the room. There’s an odd feeling in her stomach that she can’t seem to place.

“Are you going to tell me where I am yet?” Octavia asks.

“You are at The Ark,” Clarke answers.

“The Ark? That’s a pretty lame name.”

Clarke quirks an eyebrow, surprised at how seemingly calm Octavia was. “You’re here because you have a special… set of skills… one that shouldn’t be wasted away in a prison for the next 10 years.”

“You mean like the fact that I almost escaped custody in a moving van?”

Clarke nods slightly, “Something like that.” She pauses as she continues to gauge Octavia’s reaction. “We’re here to give you a second chance.”

Octavia scoffs. “I think I’m long past second chances.”

“Not with us,” Clarke replies.

“So what is it exactly that you need me for?”

For the next ten minutes Clarke goes on to explain the history of The Ark and what they did. Over the past few years she has managed to perfect the introductory speech – glossing up the organisation to make it seem like they were the good guys. But when in reality, they were hired assassins.

“It doesn’t seem like I really have a choice,” Octavia states after Clarke finishes her speech. “Comply or die, right?”

Clarke hesitates for a moment because that was true. Recruits who wanted no part of the organisation were “floated” (killed) since they were told everything about The Ark already. So Clarke nods.

Octavia lets out a small sigh, “Where do I sign up?”

 

After some more formalities, Clarke guides Octavia to the cafeteria for some breakfast. “Grab some food, Octavia. Someone will be around in forty minutes to take you to your first training class.”

Octavia nods and starts to walk towards the food table. “Just like high school…” she mutters.

Clarke watches as Octavia grabs a tray and starts to fill it with food. She’s trying to see if there’s any resemblance between the young woman and Bellamy but she just doesn’t know.

“Where’s your mind at, Griffin?”

Clarke turns around to see Raven coming up to stand next to her, followed closely by Anya. Clarke points down to Raven’s shirt, “You should tuck your shirt in.”

Raven quickly looks down to her shirt and grunts when she sees that Clarke was lying. “Oh fuck you, Clarke.”

“Every single time,” Clarke grins.

Anya places her hand on Raven’s shoulder and laughs. “Literally every single time, Raven. You really think I would let you walk out without making sure you weren’t dressed properly?”

“Well there was that one time when we–”

“–That was one time,” Anya cuts in.

Clarke laughs. “One time too many.” She pauses and then speaks up again. “Do you know when Bellamy is coming back?”  

Anya shakes her head first. “Can you believe they’re letting him back after what he did?”

“He’s been demoted to guard though,” Raven adds.

“Still,” Anya tuts. “Stripping his agent position is nothing. If it was anyone else – they would have been floated in an instant.”

Clarke sighs a little. “It was Pike’s influence.”

“You’re defending him? He’s a grown ass man who should be accountable for his own actions.”

Raven lifts her hand up between the two women. “Let’s not fight over this _again._ Bellamy is coming back whether we agree with it or not. It’s not our place to question what higher ups have decided.”

Clarke turns back to where Octavia is sitting. “See the new recruit over there?” she asks Raven and Anya. “The one sitting at the table with Harper and Monroe.”

“Yeah,” Raven replies.

“I think that she might be Bellamy’s sister.”

“What?!” both Raven and Anya yell.

Clarke nods. “Her file says that her name is Octavia _Blake._ I think someone has placed her in here to keep Bell in line.”

“What makes you say that?” Anya asks.

Clarke shrugs a little. “I don’t know, it’s just a feeling. She was really calm during orientation.”

“I was calm during orientation,” Anya points out.

“Yeah,” Clarke nods. “But you’re always calm. It’s kind of scary sometimes.”

Anya lets out a small chuckle. “Good.”

“I don’t know… it’s just too big of a coincidence to ignore.”

“Are you going to say anything?” Raven asks.

Clarke is just about to reply when Maya joins their little group. “Hey Maya, what’s up?”

“You need to come with me, Clarke,” Maya says.

“Why?” Clarke asks.

Maya looks between Clarke, Raven and Anya, seeming a little nervous and scared to say what she needed to say. “It’s about your mum,” she whispers.

 

* * *

 

Within the hour, Clarke arrives at her mother’s house with Jaha and Kane. All her mum said over the phone was that someone broke into the house with a message for Jaha. Clarke honestly didn’t care about the message; she was more hell-bent on the fact that someone had the audacity to break into her mother’s house.

Clarke knocks on the door and it’s being opened just the second later. She lets out a sigh of relief when her mum answers, looking as if she wasn’t hurt. “Oh my god,” she whispers as she pulls her mum into a hug. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, sweetie,” Abby smiles.

Clarke pulls back from the hug, “You sure? Do you need a medic or anything?”

Abby shakes her head and steps aside to let Jaha and Kane through. “No, I’m fine.” She pauses and closes the door, “You all need to take a seat before I tell you what happen.”

So Clarke, Jaha, Kane and Abby move into the living room and take a seat on the couches. Clarke sits next to her mum while Jaha and Kane sit across on the other couch.

“What happened, Abby?” Kane asks.

Abby lets out a small sigh. “I was coming back from morning yoga when suddenly someone comes up behind me and chloroforms me.”

“Are you sure you don’t need a medic?” Clarke asks again.

“I’m sure,” Abby nods. She takes a deep breath, “I think I was out for maybe ten minutes and when I came to… Lexa was sitting across from me.”

An eerie silence travels through the room.

Jaha is the first to speak up. “Lexa?” he laughs. “Lexa is dead.”

“She’s not,” Abby replies. She turns to her daughter, “She’s not dead, Clarke.”

“Mum,” Clarke sighs, “Lexa died with dad.”

Abby shakes her head and reaches into her pocket, pulling out the watch. She hands it over to Clarke, “Your dad gave this to her, to give to you.”

Clarke takes the watch and her heart beat picks up. She had brought her dad this watch maybe eight years ago, and she remembers her dad wearing the watch the day he died. “No… it can’t be,” she whispers. Clarke toys with the watch, her mind racing at the thought that Lexa was holding this exact item probably only hours before.

She wasn’t really processing what her mother has just told her. There was no way. Lexa is dead and has been dead for the last four years. Clarke went to Lexa’s funeral. The woman Clarke once loved, was dead.

Jaha and Kane stare in disbelief as they realise Abby wasn’t lying.

“She’s alive,” Abby repeats. “And she’s back with a message.”

“What’s the message?” Jaha asks.

“She’s coming after you, your black boxes and The Ark.”

 

* * *

 

“ _Six?!”_

Lexa nods, despite being on the phone. She has her Bluetooth earpiece in and was back in her loft. “Yeah, six black boxes.” She assembles her gun again after disassembling it for the fourth time. It was something she did when she needed to clear her mind.

“ _Are you sure Abby wasn’t lying?”_

“She has no reason to lie, B,” Lexa replies. “She told me to run.”

“ _That’s not a surprise. She cared about you a lot.”_ There’s a pause. “ _And obviously she still does.”_

Lexa shakes her head as she disassembles her gun. “Why does it sound like you’re trying to convince me that this is a bad idea _again?”_

“ _I’m not.”_

“We didn’t plan for six boxes,” Lexa whispers. “It took us almost two years to just find Lincoln.”

“ _We keep going. Continue on with the plan. Maybe if we get Lincoln’s box–”_

“– _When_ we get Lincoln’s box,” Lexa corrects.

“ _Sorry. Yes, when we get Lincoln’s box, it might flush out the other boxes for us. If I was Jaha I would want to increase the security around the them asap.”_

Lexa is halfway assembling her gun again. “And with Octavia on the inside, it’ll be easier to get the information we need.”

“ _Has the shell box been activated yet?”_

“Give me a second.” Lexa puts her gun aside and opens up her laptop. She works her way through her network system.

[command] open connection 55.122.09.390

[connection not found]

“Not yet,” Lexa sighs. “But if she only just got in she wouldn’t have had a chance to get on the computers yet.” She then opens up her tracking agent.

[command] find tracker ID 319

[location found]

Lexa watches the screen as the little red dot blinks over and over again. “Good news though, the tracker is working.”

“ _Are you sure it’s safe to have the tracker in place?”_

“It’ll come in handy.”

_“That doesn’t answer my question.”_

“I know,” Lexa replies. “But it’s all I got.”

“ _Okay. Look, I have to go but what’s your play?”_

Lexa grabs her gun again. “We follow through with what we know first; Lincoln.”

“ _Alright. I’ll talk to you soon.”_

Lexa hangs up the call, it takes her less than a minute to disassemble and assemble her gun again. Once she goes through that, she packs her bag and heads out. Lincoln’s place is a four-hour drive from where she is, meaning that she’ll get there just past 7pm.

Lincoln was already an agent by the time Lexa was recruited into the Ark. They were friends – if you could it that. Lexa got to work alongside him briefly when she was promoted to field agent. They were both on the Alpha team and they worked well together. But one day Lincoln got promoted to a new position and Lexa didn’t hear from him again.

The traffic is worse than Lexa expected, so it takes her nearly five hours to get to Lincoln’s apartment. Thankfully, he isn’t home yet so Lexa manages to convince the landlord that she was his long distance girlfriend who wanted to surprise him. All it took was a little smile and little flirting and she was inside.

The apartment is plain – but that isn’t a surprise. From what Lexa has learnt over the past four years, Lincoln’s sole job was to protect the black box. Not exactly exciting, but it’s not like they had a choice in the matter.

When she hears keys rattling outside the door, she moves to stand just by the door. Her heart pounds, trying to remember how Lincoln fought so she could use that against him. When Lincoln steps into the apartment, Lexa makes her move. She pounces on him – trying to get him into a headlock.

But Lincoln is much faster that she remembers. He quickly gains the upper hand, flipping Lexa over his own body so that she hits the floor. He draws his gun but Lexa quickly jumps back up on her feet, knocking the gun out of his hands in the process.

“Lexa?!” Lincoln calls out.

Lexa jumps back, raising both hands slightly. “I’m not here to fight, Lincoln.”

“Then why did you break into my apartment?!” Lincoln jumps forward, swinging his fists. He gets a few hits in but Lexa is quick to defend herself.

Lexa gets backed against the wall, with Lincoln’s forearm pressing right against her neck. She tries to push him off but her strength is no match on his.

“You’re meant to be dead,” Lincoln growls.

“Clearly not,” Lexa chokes out.

Lincoln pushes his arm forward more, “What are you doing here?”

Lexa taps on Lincoln’s arm a couple of times. She stares right back into his eyes, pleading. When she feels his hold loosening, she brings her own hand to rub her neck. “You’ve gotten stronger.”

Lincoln pulls out his gun and points it to Lexa, “I’m not playing around. What are you doing here?”

She sighs, there was no beating around the bush with this. “I’m going to bring down The Ark, Lincoln.”

Lincoln laughs. He actually laughs. “You’re going to die before you even can even get within 500ft of The Ark. Like _actually_ die.”

“I’ve got a plan,” Lexa says.

“So did we when we were doing Operation Gas Strike and you remember how that one turned out.”

Lexa steps forward. But when Lincoln pulls back the barrel of his glock she stops.

“Don’t,” he warns. “You can stay right there.”

She lifts up both hands in surrender. “I’ve got a plan,” Lexa repeats. “You can join me.”

Lincoln scoffs. “That’s not happening.”

Lexa shakes her head slightly, “What happened to you Lincoln?” She could tell that the Lincoln standing before her today, was not the same Lincoln she used to know. A lot has changed since he was promoted to a Reaper and it hits harder Lexa had expected it to. They use to be friends, they use to entrust each other with their lives, and now here they were, two people on the opposite sides of an impending war.

“What happened to _you_?” Lincoln bites back. “No Ark agent has ever escaped and yet here you are. You could be living a life, Lexa. The Ark is not looking for you; they think you’re dead. You can live a life without having to worry every damn second of the day.”

“Funny, that’s exactly what Abby said.”

“She’s a smart woman.”

“It has to stop,” Lexa breathes.

Lincoln flicks his gun towards the kitchen, gesturing for Lexa to head in that direction. “And you really think you can stop them?” Once they’re in the kitchen, Lincoln keeps his gun pointed at Lexa whilst he rummages through one of the draws.

“I can.”

“Do you know what I protect?” Lincoln asks.

Lexa nods. “A black box.”

“So you know what type of information Jaha could release to the world, right? Forget about Trump – because the end will be closer if that information ever gets out.”

“We destroy the box,” Lexa replies. “Destroy _all_ of them and then bring him down.”

“That’s some pipe dream, Lex.” Lincoln grabs a pair of handcuffs and throws them towards Lexa. “Handcuff yourself to the fridge.”

Lexa does as she’s told. “Come on Lincoln, I _know_ you. When we worked together you talked about having a life outside of The Ark more than anyone. You had hope.”

“Wasted hope,” Lincoln comments. “I’m not that guy anymore.”

Lexa watches as Lincoln moves about his apartment, gathering a few items here and there. What catches her eye though, is a particular type of key he pulls out from a safe under the TV. _Bingo._

Lincoln slings is backpack over his shoulders and grabs his car keys. He’s just about to leave his apartment before he walks back towards Lexa. “Should have stayed away, Lexa.”

Lexa shakes her head. “Not after the things we’ve done.”

“This is not a fight you’re going to win.” He pauses. “If you were anyone else I would have killed you. But if I see you again Lexa–”

“–You will see me again,” Lexa cuts in.

“Then you better be prepared for bigger fight.”

And with that Lincoln leaves, slamming the door on his way out. Lexa is left in the kitchen still handcuffed to the fridge. But she lets out a small smile because she knew exactly where he was going to be next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you can most likely expect weekly updates (either sat/sun) 
> 
> let me know what you think?
> 
> thanks for reading :)


	2. war is brewing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> will lexa be successful in finding lincoln? how will octavia's second day at the ark go? how much more can lexa rattle everyone at the ark?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy reading!

It takes Lexa about half an hour to free herself from handcuffs. Usually she can pick the lock within minutes – but when there’s almost next to nothing she can pick it with it takes a little longer. Most of the time is actually spent on finding something to get her out of the handcuffs. But once she’s out she spends the rest of the night lurking around Lincoln’s apartment – knowing very well that he wasn’t going to be back anytime soon. She was trying to see if there were any clues as to who the other Reapers were. But not surprisingly, she finds nothing.

Once she leaves Lincoln’s apartment, she drives around the city. It was going to be a restless night for her.

During her “planning stage” of her plan, she figured out where Lincoln’s black box was kept. That was the positive aspect, but the negative was that it was kept in one of the most heavily guarded banks in the country – The Bank of Polis. When she was an agent, Alpha team had a mission where they infiltrated a similar bank and they _just_ made it out alive. So Lexa knew that she would not be able to go in by herself.

She knew that after their little encounter last night, Lincoln would go to the bank and secure the box. It would have been the smartest thing to do, and most likely protocol for Lincoln if a situation like this ever occurred. As simple as it sounds, her plan was to get to Lincoln once he leaves the bank with the box. But she knew she had to be on her toes because Lincoln would definitely be looking out for her.

By 8 in the morning Lexa is scoping the outside of the bank. It doesn’t open for another hour – which gives her time to go over what she knew about the area. There was one entrance, however there was also an emergency exit out back which lead down a quiet alleyway. If Lexa was in Lincoln’s shoes, that’s the exit she would take so that’s where she’ll get to Lincoln.

As the clock ticks over to 9, Lexa spots Lincoln almost immediately. He’s changed into new clothes, wears a hat and sunglasses and struts into the bank like it was just any other day. Lincoln’s confidence and seemingly unwavering calmness scares her slightly. Not that he wasn’t a good agent before, but now Lincoln was stronger, faster and it felt like he was more focused.

Lexa waits in the alleyway, hidden from the back door of the bank. She really couldn’t plan what to do from here given that she has no idea how Lincoln will react to the situation. But she was a little more prepared this time, compared to last night anyways.

It’s about 9:40 when she hears the door opening. Slowly, she pulls out her gun and waits for just the right moment.

Three.

Two.

One.

Lexa steps out from where she was hiding, pointing the gun right to Lincoln. But again, Lincoln is quick to defend himself, whacking the gun away as is lands a couple of feet away from them. Lexa has no time to run for it so she relies on her fighting skills. She ducks and punches, she manages to get Lincoln in a hold but only for a couple of seconds.

“Just go, Lexa!” Lincoln yells as he gets Lexa in a choke hold.

Lexa shakes her head and clears her throat. “War is brewing, but you can still be on the right side of this.” She hits her head back, hitting Lincoln in the face and causing him to stumble back just slightly. As he’s trying to regain his footing, Lexa kicks him right in the chest so he falls back completely. She lurches forward, grabbing his glock from his belt. “This is happening, Lincoln.”

Lincoln stands up with both hands up as if he’s surrendering, but once he’s on his feet his on the attack again. He swings his punches but Lexa is quick to dodge them. He gets a good hit in which causes her to drop the glock. Lexa can taste the blood on her lips almost instantly.

“I don’t want to hurt you anymore, Lexa,” Lincoln says, his fists balled up in front of him. “Just go,” he pleads.

Lexa wipes the blood that trails across her lips. “I can’t do that.” She steps forward and this time she’s on the attack. She manages to keep the upper hand, backing Lincoln right up against the wall. Lincoln might have been larger but she was taught exactly how to use her size to her advantage.

She didn’t want to resort to this but it’s her only option. Lexa pulls out a needle from her pocket and jabs Lincoln at the crook of his neck. Slowly but surely he staggers towards the ground. “Lexa…” he whispers.

Lexa guides him down safely to the ground. “It’s okay,” she reassures. “You’re going to be okay.” And with that, Lincoln is unconscious and Lexa wastes no time in taking his backpack off him.

The feeling that washes over Lexa when she sees the black box inside is indescribable. But they were still a long way off from it being over. She zips the bag back up and slings it over her shoulder. Turning back to Lincoln she sighs, “Oh what have they done to you?”

 

* * *

 

It’s the morning of her second day at The Ark and Octavia is still on very high alert. Getting inside and infiltrating the Ark was the easy part – now she had to keep her cover if this was all going to work. In her mind she replays over and over what Lexa has taught her. She could do this.

She’s sitting alone in the cafeteria, more interested on the conversation around the room than her breakfast.  _Lexa._ Everyone was talking about her return and Octavia had to do everything she could not to smile at the news. She hears the other recruits whisper stories about the legendary “Commander” and even a couple of the guards get caught up in the gossip.

“ _Mind if I sit?”_

Octavia snaps out of whatever moment she was in and looks up to see a young blonde boy, couldn’t be more than 18. He’s tall and his voice is quiet, and just everything about him screams that he didn’t belong here. Octavia nods. “Go for it.”

“Aden Childs,” he smiles as he offers his hand.

Octavia accepts the handshake. “Octavia Blake.”

Aden starts to pick at his food, “How was your first night here?”

“Restless,” Octavia replies. It was the truth. She probably only got 3 hours of sleep, going over and over in her head that she was not out of her depth here.

“You’ll get used to it,” Aden offers. “But if it gets worse than you can always go see the doc downstairs.”

“How long have you been here?”

“Six months.”

“You’re so young.”

Aden shrugs his response and keeps picking at his food. He doesn’t say anything more and Octavia just continues to watch him. A couple of minutes later someone else is joining the table.

“ _Hey Aden, the kids table is over there,”_ the woman says harshly.

Aden lets out a long, deep sigh and starts to pick up his tray.

Octavia stops him, “Hey you don’t have to go.” She looks over to the woman, “Who do you think you are?”

“Ontari Black,” the woman replies. Ontari looks back to Aden, “Go.”

Octavia shakes her head, looking at Aden. “You don’t have to go.”

“It’s not worth it,” he replies. Aden picks up his tray, “I’ll see you around, Octavia.”

Under the table, Octavia’s hands are balled into two fists. She didn’t know who this Ontari was but already she didn’t like the woman. She takes a few breaths, reminding herself of the bigger picture. It would not look good if she started trouble on her second day here.

“Don’t waste your time with Aden, he’s a sweet kid but that’s all he is,” Ontari smirks. “He’ll probably be floated sooner or later because he can’t keep up with the rest of his class.”

“What do you want?” Octavia asks.

“Just introducing myself to the new recruits.” Ontari points to a couple of tables on the other side of the room, “You came in with the two guys over there… Jasper Jordan and John Murphy. They don’t seem like a threat but you… I have a feeling about you.”

Octavia scoffs, “You think I’m a threat? I’ve been here a day.”

“We’ll see,” Ontari shrugs.

_“RECRUITS IN CLASS A, TIME FOR TRAINING. REPORT TO THE TRAINING GROUND IN 5 MINUTES.”_

Ontari stands up from her seat, “That’s us.”

“We’re in the same class?”

Ontari nods. “Time to see what you’re made of, newbie.”

Five minutes later, Octavia is on the main floor of the facility. The main floor is basically a gym (or “the training ground”); they’ve got treadmills and bikes set up, weights, boxing bags and plastic dummies covering half of the room. The other half of the room is opened with some padding on the ground.

Octavia looks around the room and tries to remember what Lexa has told her. Two important things about the main floor – firstly, this is where she’ll be spending most of the training. Secondly, the main floor is the gateway to the main operations room. The operations room is where agents get their intel on any new missions. And Octavia mission: to somehow get this intel as well and pass it along to Lexa. They needed to take down The Ark one mission at a time.

Then two agents emerge from the operations; two agents Octavia knows all about. The woman was Anya Carson and according to Lexa, she was probably The Ark’s most elite agent. Head of the Alpha team, the woman was as intimidating as they get. She stood tall, proud and confident which sent shivers down Octavia’s spine. Then there was Roan Quin – another member of the Alpha team. Lexa has told her that he is a man of few words, but a man you do not want to cross paths with.

Anya and Roan stand in the middle of the padded floor and wait for the recruits to gather around. Octavia looks around her, class A has about 15 other recruits. Anya calls upon two of the other recruits to spar against each other whilst the other agents take a few steps back to sit and watch.

Octavia takes a seat and the guy who she recognises as Jasper comes to sit next to her.

“Octavia, right?” he asks.

“Yeah.”

“Jasper. Jordan.”

Octavia nods her response and returns her focus to the two other recruits sparring in the middle of the room. Roan is guiding them in their attacks whilst Anya stands quietly to the side.

“Crazy right?” Jasper whispers.

Octavia lets out a small sigh, “What?”

“Have you not heard about the Commander?”

Octavia plays dumb and shakes her head. “Commander?”

“Yeah, Lexa Woods – the Commander.”

“Should I know who that is?” Octavia asks.

“Well it’s not surprising that you don’t know yet since we only just got in yesterday. But it’s all everyone is talking about.” Jasper pauses to catch his breath. “She was a former agent and The Ark thought she died on a mission a couple of years ago… But get this… she showed up again yesterday.”

“Why is she called the Commander?”

Jasper shrugs, “It’s just a nickname I think. Heard she was one of the best agents there was.”

“ _I heard she took out like 10 guys by herself,”_ the woman next to them whispers.

Octavia turns to the woman and raises an eyebrow.

“I’m Harper.”

“Octavia.”

“Jasper.”

Harper smiles. “Don’t let the guards or agents catch you talking about Lexa. Higher ups are already on edge.”

Octavia gives a small nod, “Got cha.”

The fight between the first two recruits ends as one of them taps out. Roan sends both of them to the treadmills and calls up the next two recruits.

Anya steps forward, “Wait.”

Octavia visibly gulps as she watches Anya walk towards her.

“Newbie,” Anya says towards her.

Octavia points her herself, “Me?”

“Let’s see what you got.”

Octavia stands up and Anya calls up another recruit, “Mark! You’re up.”   

Roan laughs a little considering that Mark was about two times Octavia’s size. “You’re throwing her right into it, ha?”

“The faster they learn, the faster they become better agents,” Anya replies. She returns her focus to Octavia, “You may be small but you can use that to your advantage. You can be lighter on your feet and quicker too.”

It takes everything in Octavia to not roll her eyes because she knew that. Not only did Lexa tell her time and time again during their training – Octavia was also an underground street fighter for four years before Lexa had found her. But she has to be smart about this, she has to hold back on her abilities. She had to convince everyone at The Ark that they were teaching her how to become an agent – when in reality she’s been training for the past four years already.

Not surprisingly, Octavia loses the first round, the second and the third. She manages a few good hits, just to make sure that everyone around her didn’t think she was completely useless. With her back against the floor she lets out an audible huff.

Her opponent offers his hand to help her up. “You’ve got some fight in you.”

Octavia takes his hand and gets back up to her feet. “Just watch, I’ll be able to take you down one day.”

Mark laughs. “With the right training, I’m sure you will.”

Anya steps forward, “Mark, treadmills.” When he leaves, she turns to Octavia. “That was good for your first fight.”

“Really?”

Anya nods. “Now, hop onto one of the treadmills as well.”

“For how long?”

“Till I say stop,” Anya replies.

For the next half an hour Octavia runs on the treadmill. She runs next to Harper, getting to know the other recruit a little more. Harper has been in here for just a little over two months and has only just started getting use to everything.

That’s scares Octavia a little. She did not want to get use to this life. She was here for one thing and one thing only. But Lexa has warned her that she will make relationships along the way – whether she means to or not. She will spend day in and day out with these other recruits and it’s going to be hard _not_ to not create a bond with them.

After the treadmill, Octavia finds herself partnered with Harper as they get assigned to the bench press. She spots Harper and vice versa for the next twenty minutes or so.

“You’re freakishly strong,” Harper laughs as she barely does anything while it’s her turn to spot.

Octavia simply shrugs it off. She could easily add a few extra weights onto the bars but again, she had to ease into showing her strength and ability. It had to look like she was getting better with time.

The training session sees Octavia rotating through all the of the equipment in the room. She and Harper were separated after the bench press and Octavia quickly realises that she doesn’t actually like much of the recruits at all. Well not the ones in this class anyways. Whilst training, she assesses her fellow recruits – call it initial research.

She finds herself in one final sparring session against Jasper before class ends. They’ve both been given sparring batons and Octavia wins the first round easily. She learns that Jasper isn’t much of a physical fighter. He basically has two left feet and his hand eye coordination could use a lot of work.

After knocking down Jasper for a third time, Octavia offers her hand to help him to his feet. “Good try,” she laughs.

Jasper straightens out his shirt. “Fighting isn’t really my thing.”

“Yeah, I can tell.”

Anya steps towards them, stoic as ever. “It better become your thing, Jasper. All agents are required to be able to fight.”

Jasper gulps and nods slightly. “Yes ma’am.”

“Don’t call me ma’am.”

Jasper gulps again, definitely scared out of his wits at this point. “Yes…”

“ _Agent Carson_ , will do.”

“Yes, Agent Carson.”

Anya looks between Jasper and Octavia, “Go. You have an hour break before you’re due for your computer class with Monty.”

_“OCTAVIA?”_

Octavia turns around at the sound of her name and the slightly good mood she was in drops beyond her reach. She watches a man she once knew walk towards her, followed by a few other people. But she doesn’t say anything, she can’t. Her mind wants to say many things but it gets lost somewhere in translation and she’s left speechless. She knew this was coming, but faced with the reality of it, she feels as if she wants to run away.

She needs to pretend that she hasn’t known her brother was in The Ark this entire time. She has to pretend that for the past eight years she thought her brother was dead. This was one of the biggest reasons why Octavia agreed to help Lexa bring down The Ark. She had to see for herself that her brother could be a part of such an organisation.

Octavia takes another step back as he draws closer. He’s about to put his hand on her shoulder and Octavia shrugs it off, “Don’t touch me,” she spits back.

“O…”

“Don’t,” Octavia warns. “I thought– You’re meant to be–”

Anya steps in between the two of them, but before she can say anything she’s interrupted by Jaha, who is walking past the training floor.

“ _BLAKE! In my office, now.”_ Octavia looks up to Jaha, but when she meets his gaze he shakes his head. “Not you, recruit. The other Blake.”

Octavia doesn’t say anything else, watching Bellamy as he walks away. He turns back a few times looking as if he’s hoping or pleading for something, but she doesn’t give him anything. When he’s out of sight she lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding.

“What was that about?” Anya asks.

“That was my brother,” Octavia whispers.

Anya doesn’t even pretend to look surprised given the fact that Clarke had made a comment about the situation the day before. But it doesn’t stop her from pulling Octavia to the side, “Bellamy is your brother?”

Octavia nods.

“How long has it been since you’ve seen him?”

“Almost eight years,” Octavia answers. There’s a small and tense pause between the two of them. “Are you going to keep asking me questions or can I go?”

“You can go.”

 

* * *

 

It’s approaching 4pm and Lexa sits in her loft, watching her monitors run through lines and lines of code. She was good at computers but her skills were a little short when it came down to cracking into the black box. She picks up on a few things the monitors show but inevitably she stops trying to understand everything.

Again, she has her earpiece in and was on the phone. “B, you and I both know that we’re not going to crack into the box. Plus, we don’t need what’s inside – we just need to destroy it.”

“ _I know, but it wouldn’t hurt to take a look inside.”_

“That’s where you and I agree to disagree,” Lexa sighs. She didn’t want to try and get into the box, but when B asks her for just an hour she says yes. Without her, Lexa would not be anywhere near bringing down The Ark. So Lexa has the black box plugged into her computer system – to which B is currently controlling.  

“ _Even if we don’t make it in, which I know we won’t, we will learn a lot.”_

Lexa scratches her head slightly and lets out another breath. “Alright, call me back when you’re done.”

“ _I will.”_

Lexa ends the call and takes the earpiece out. She drops her chin in her hands and just watches her monitor run through lines of code faster than before.

“ _You’re never going to crack it.”_

To be honest, Lexa almost forgot she wasn’t alone. She turns in her chair to see Lincoln awake. After she had hit him with a non-lethal toxin she got him into her car and took the four-hour drive back to her loft. Obviously she had to prepare for when he woke up, so she handcuffed him to her bed.

“Unless you have a Monty, you’re not going to get in,” Lincoln mutters as he sits up.

“There’s only one Monty.”

They both share a small smile, because it was true. There was only one Monty and if they could ignore their whole world – Monty was the best one of them all. But the moment is short lived and Lincoln tries to fight against the handcuffs.

Lexa moves to her kitchen and grabs a bottle of water before making her way to Lincoln. She unscrews the lid and pushes the bottle towards Lincoln’s lips. “Drink,” she instructs.

Lincoln doesn’t react though – staring right back at her.

“Don’t be stubborn. Just drink the water.” Lexa urges to bottle forward again and after a few more seconds Lincoln gives in. When he’s done Lexa puts the bottle on the bedside table and returns to sit back at her computers. She can feel Lincoln’s eyes burning into her back.

“Lex, why are you doing this?”

Lincoln’s voice is soft and it sends Lexa right back to when they were working together. _Lex._ The nickname tugs on a few of her heart strings. And her heart aches because she’s reminded that she was going to go against a lot of people during this fight – people who she still cares for.

Lexa turns back in her chair to face Lincoln. “We didn’t ask for this life. It was either comply or die.”

“Comply or die?” Lincoln laughs softly. “That’s a new one.”

“Yeah, well it’s true isn’t it? They floated ten recruits in ten days in my class.”

Lincoln nods. “I remember.”

“Aren’t you sick of it?” Lexa asks. “Aren’t you just sick of all of it?”

The silence draws out between the two of them. It’s heavy and tense and it’s them both harder than they expected it to. Lexa runs her fingers through her hair and sighs. “All The Ark does is take. It takes and takes and takes. It doesn’t stop and it’s never going to stop unless we do something about it.”

“ _We?_ ” Lincoln asks, raising an eyebrow.

“You might not be on this side of it, but I am not working alone.”

“Really? And who would you have working with you?”

Now it was Lexa’s turn to raise an eyebrow. “It doesn’t take a trained assassin to know that you don’t give that type of information out to someone on the other side.”

Lincoln laughs. There’s another long pause before he speaks up again. “What did they take from you Lexa?” Another pause. “Other than you know… the obvious.”

Lexa lets out a deep sigh. She contemplates whether or not she should tell Lincoln the truth. But the truth was that there was there was just a lot of things that lead up to her decision to escape. But there was one event that pushed her over the edge.

“I fell in love,” Lexa reveals.

“Clarke,” Lincoln states as if he already knew.

Lexa shakes her head. “Her name was Costia. She was a high school art teacher and I chose my heart over my head _again_ and I lost _again._ They killed her. They made it look like an accident and I think you can guess the rest of the story.”

“Why?” Lincoln asks.

Lexa shrugs and leans back in her chair. “To keep me in line. To keep me focused.”

Another pause.

Lincoln wiggles in his position slightly. “You really think you can take down Jaha?”

“Yes,” Lexa replies, unconvincingly.

“You might have one box Lexa, but there’s still five out there.”

“I know.”

“Jaha calls us Reapers.”

Lexa smiles. “Any chance you’re going to offer up more information? Like where the other Reapers are?”

Lincoln shakes his head.

“Worth a try,” Lexa shrugs. She turns back to her table for just a moment to grab some keys and makes her way back towards Lincoln. “I’m going to let you go.”

“What? Really?”

Lexa nods. She grabs a blindfold from the bedside table and holds it up towards him. “Are we going to do this the easy way or the hard way?”

Lincoln nods his response. “How do you know I won’t go straight to Jaha?”

Lexa steps forward and starts to tie the blindfold around his eyes. “Oh I expect you too.” She wanted Jaha and everyone at The Ark rattled that she was back. She wanted them on high alert and on edge because then there’s more a chance for them to slip – and for her to strike easier.

Once the blindfold is on she undoes the handcuffs and surprisingly, Lincoln does cooperate. He moves exactly where she pushes him too and within minutes they’re out of Lexa’s building and in an alleyway. She helps him into a back of a van and takes out another round of the non-lethal toxin.

“You’re going to knock me out again, aren’t you?”

Lexa nods but quickly remembers that Lincoln can’t see her.  “Yes. My driver will drive you and leave the van for you to take back home.”

“Lexa…” Lincoln sighs. “It’s not too late to run away.”

“It is.” She jabs the needle in Lincoln’s arm and helps guide him to lie down. “Thanks for the box, Lincoln.”

“It’s not like I had a choice,” Lincoln mutters.

Just a few seconds later, Lincoln’s body goes limp. She shuts the door and makes her way to the driver. She reaches into her back pocket and takes out a wad of cash.

“Always a pleasure, Lexa,” the driver smiles.

Lexa makes her way back up to her loft. She settles back in front of her three monitors – all of them still running some code on the black box. Not wanting to disrupt whatever B was doing she instead opens her laptop and checks up on a few things. There’s a major sigh of relief when she gets the notification she’s been waiting for.

[connection 55.122.09.390 has been activated]

[x057]  
Paging sensei… I’m in

Lexa smiles and types out her response.

[x138]  
Well done.  
Don’t forget what I’ve taught you.  
I’ll be going live in just a moment.

 

* * *

 

Octavia has been given what she considers to be The Ark’s version of “detention”. After she (purposefully) disrupted the computer class more than once, Monty told her to stay back to catch up on the work she didn’t complete. Being alone in the computer lab made it easier for her to activate the shell box Lexa had planted all those years ago.

The activation is successful and Octavia feels an enormous amount of weight lifted of her shoulders when Lexa replies to her first message. She also plants an encrypted back door – it’s very simple and very small but it’s just enough to Lexa do what she needs to do.

They might as well be in two different worlds right now but Octavia feels less alone. She’s just about to reply when she hears screaming from just outside the door.

“ _She’s been gone for three years!”_

_“Exactly!”_

Octavia recognises the voices as Clarke and Jaha. They argue back and forth about Lexa and Octavia finds herself walking towards to door to be able to listen better. Jaha seems to be very chill about the whole situation – like he wasn’t concerned at all that Lexa was back. Clarke, on the other hand, is frantic about the whole thing.

Their conversation is interrupted when a static sound plays throughout The Ark’s intercom system. That definitely catches their attention. All the computers in the lab then light up in a white screen. Octavia can’t help but contain her smile because she knew exactly what was going to happen next. But she quickly wipes it away when Jaha and Clarke enter the room too.

“What are you doing here, Blake?” Jaha asks.

“Monty had me stay back after class to finish some exercises then the computers went all…” Octavia trails off and just points around the room.

The static sound comes to an end and everyone’s attention returns to the computer screens that soon have Lexa’s face on it.

“Oh my god,” Clarke whispers.

“Who’s that?” Octavia asks. But she doesn’t get a response from either of them as the video plays.

“ _Hello people of the Ark. By now you all have probably heard that I am back_ _and very much alive.”_

“WHERE IS MONTY?!” Jaha calls out. “TELL HIM TO STOP THIS FEED IMMEDIATELY!”

“ _–think that you’re doing the right thing, and I will be the first to admit that I was in your exact position many years ago. But enough is enough.”_

It’s taking everything in Octavia to not smile or show any sort of reaction, but honestly, she feels like a proud younger sister right now. She watches and listens as Lexa continues to talk and send her message to The Ark.

“– _I’m coming after you, Jaha.”_

The video feed then points to what Octavia realises must be the black box.

“ _I got your box.”_

The without another second passing, shots are being fired into the box and it is completely destroyed. Octavia on the inside is cheering but then the video is being pointed back to Lexa.

“ _One down. Five to go.”_

The video feed cuts out and Octavia is stunned. _Five to go?_ What the hell did that mean? Lexa said that there was only one box, their whole plan was based around destroying the one box and then taking The Ark down from there. But now? Octavia was completely lost.

She looks over to Jaha who is completely still. You could just see how hard he was thinking; how angry he was. But she remains silent and waits. He then breaks and starts to storm out of the room. Octavia follows as Jaha and Clarke walk down the corridors.

“I’m calling an emergency meeting!” Jaha calls out. “Get everyone here now! Lexa is now level 1 priority and I want a shoot to kill order on her _now!”_

 

* * *

 

Ever since Clarke heard that Lexa was back she’s been in a state of limbo. It’s only been a day but still, it was more than enough to have her second guessing everything. Everything she’s known about Lexa for the past four years has been completely wrong.

Clarke is mad.

She’s angry.

And pissed.

And really fucking sad.

But part of her is glad that Lexa isn’t dead. Lexa, the woman she once loved, wasn’t dead. But that part of her is completely covered by all the other emotions. She was just in a constant state of feeling as if she was going to be sick. Her stomach turns, her eyes are sore from crying and didn’t get any sleep the previous night.

She follows Jaha out of the computer lab, taking a mental note of the orders he’s barking out. As they walk through the facility everyone is talking and everyone is staring. When they reach the operations room, the other directors – Alie and Kane are there, along with the most senior agents.

Clarke closes the door behind her and takes her position next to Raven.

“How did she get in to our system?!” Jaha yells.

Monty types frantically away at his computer. “She’s managed to wipe whatever door she used to get in.”

Jaha slams her fist on the table, “That doesn’t answer my question! _How_ did she get in?!”

“There was a door somewhere,” Monty explains. “She came in, streamed the video and left, knocking the door down on the way out.”

“And there’s no way to find this door now?”

Monty doesn’t look up from his screen, “I’m running a diagnostic check now. I’ll keep you updated.”

Jaha nods and straightens himself up, looking around to everyone in the room. “Lexa is now level 1 priority – you see her, you kill her. I don’t care when it is, or where it is.”

Kane steps forward, “Sir – shouldn’t we bring her in?”

“No,” Jaha replies sternly. “I have no interest in dwelling in this mess longer than we have to. She’s already destroyed one box; we can’t have her out there looking for the others.”

Clarke listens to everyone arguing back and forth on what their play should be. Some agents agree with Kane; they want to know how Lexa escaped to make sure that it can’t happen again. They want to know why she’s back and who she’s working with. They want to know how one person has The Ark running scared.

To be frank, Clarke knows exactly what she wants to do. While she listens – she’s not actively listening. Instead her mind is replaying the video of Lexa and just hearing her voice again has got her so overwhelmed. She never thought she would hear Lexa’s voice again, never thought she would have these new memories (despite the context of them). Clarke is confused and hurt and completely lost.

“ _Griffin, what do you think?”_

Clarke snaps out her hazy state. “What?”

“What do you think we should do?” Kane asks.

Clarke looks around the room to everyone staring back at her. She knows why she’s being called out like this. Her relationship with Lexa was no secret amongst them. She lets out a deep breath and tells the truth, “I think we should bring her in.” 

“Who’s black box was that?” Anya asks Jaha.

Jaha pinches the bridge of his nose. “Lincoln’s.”

“Lincoln?!” Anya yells.

“Is that where he’s been?!” Raven asks. “Guarding your damn box?!”

Jaha steps towards Raven. “That ‘damn box’ is what keeps this place running, Reyes. Mind your tongue.”

“You could have told us where he was,” Raven spits back.

Anya puts her hand on Raven’s shoulder, urging her to stop. “What about the other boxes?” Anya asks Jaha.

“We’ll have to upgrade the security around them,” Alie suggests. “I know someone whose working on a biometric scanner we could add to the boxes.”

“Good,” Jaha nods. “Call them, ask if they can bring it two days from now. We’ll pay whatever they’re asking.”

“Do we call all the Reapers in?” Kane asks.

Jaha shakes his head. “One at a time. Call Luna first and tell her to come in.” He then looks out to the rest of the agents, particularly between Anya, Clarke, Raven, Roan and Indra. “I want Alpha team at the airport to pick her up. I’ll confirm details when we get in contact with Luna.”

Anya nods. “Yes sir.”

“I want a briefing tomorrow morning. Alpha team, I want you to come up with a plan.”

Anya nods again.

“If you do see Lexa, bring her in. But if she doesn’t come in easily, the order remains – shoot to kill.” Jaha pauses for just a moment. “You are all dismissed.”

Clarke follows her fellow agents out of the operations room. It leads them to the main training floor where all the recruits are staring right back at them.

“Get back to training!” Indra yells.

And with that the recruits return to whatever it is they were doing.

Indra leaves without another word, as does Roan. “So… Lexa’s not dead,” Raven mutters. “How are you doing, Clarke?”

Clarke sighs. “We don’t have to do this.”

“Yeah I do,” Raven replies. “You loved her Clarke. Even when she was with Costia – you sat back and kept your distance but that didn’t stop you from loving her. When she died, or at least when we thought she died, you almost broke.”

“You did break,” Anya corrects.

Clarke runs her fingers through her hair, “I’m going to rephrase. We’re _not_ doing this.”

“Clarke–” Raven sighs.

Clarke shakes her head and sighs. “Lexa made her choice.”

Raven raises an eyebrow, “So you’re really going to shoot her if it comes down to it?”

“Those are the orders, aren’t they?”

 

 

The meeting for Alpha team is basically a waste of time. They have nothing on Lexa. No leads, no clues as to where she is, what she’s up to or even who’s helping her. All they know is that they thought she was dead for the last four years. They had no reason to doubt it. Though they never found Lexa’s body – the crime scene of Operation Blue Box was horrible, there was blood and bullets everywhere. With the river having multiple routes, it took them 3 days just to find Jake’s body.

Anya calls the end to the meeting. Even she knew it was a waste of time.

Clarke calls it a day after that. Being a field agent meant that she was free to come in and out of The Ark as she pleased. But she wasn’t going back to her apartment just yet. She takes the hour drive to quiet cemetery out west.

It’s funny, most Ark agents have two files – one from the real world and one from The Ark. When recruits are brought in, their real world file is changed to make it look like they have died. They’re basically wiped away from society and given a clean slate but obviously that came with a price. It’s funny because both of Lexa’s files report that she’s dead and both are wrong.

She walks through the cemetery and towards the gazebo by the lake. When agents die they aren’t given funerals. Because to the real world they’re already dead and to The Ark they’re basically a lost asset. Of course it’s hard when an agent dies on the job but it’s the harsh truth from the organisation’s perspective.

Clarke enters the empty gazebo and takes a seat. Instantly, she drops her head into her hands and cries (again). Yes, Ark agents aren’t given funerals, but this is where she said goodbye to her dad and Lexa. This is where she, her mother and her fellow agents said goodbye to the two people they lost on a simple mission gone terribly wrong.

There are only two things running through her mind right now; her dad and Lexa. Her dad was her best friend; it was as simple as that. He was her rock, and her grounding point whenever she strayed too far from who she really was.

And then there was Lexa. Lexa fucking Woods. Clarke fell for Lexa, hard and fast. She didn’t everything in her power not to fall, but obviously that only made her fall harder. It was a year of pining after they let themselves _just be_. But then things happened and they had to end their relationship. Clarke tried to move on, but she truly believed that Lexa was her soulmate.

They had to choose head over heart. So Clarke just suppressed her feelings and it was definitely hard at first. They were both on Alpha team so they had sort out their shit so that it didn’t affect them out in the field. They both knew that they had to move past the personal relationship they had – otherwise it could have dire consequences.

“What the fuck are you doing Lexa?” she sighs, rubbing her eyes. Clarke sits back up and looks down to her father’s watch. She runs her fingers over the face and her mind drifts back to the last time she saw her dad and Lexa.

 

May 8th 2012

_“Clarke!”_

_Clarke turns around at the call of her name. She sees her dad jogging over to her, a smile appearing on her lips because she seen much of him these past few days. “Long time no see, stranger.”_

_Jake laughs. “Sorry, crazy op.”_

_“All good though?”_

_“All good,” Jake confirms. “Do you have time for lunch with your old man?”_

_Clarke checks the time on her phone and frowns a little. “Sorry dad, I have a briefing with Alie in like 10 minutes. What about after?”_

_“How long is your briefing?”_

_“An hour-ish?” Clarke responds._

_Jake shakes his head slightly. “Can’t, I’m heading out on Lexa’s mission in about an hour.”_

_“Oh?” Clarke raises an eyebrow. “I don’t remember you being assigned to that mission.”_

_“I wasn’t, initially. But Phillip got held up on his current mission.”_

_“That’s not surprising,” Clarke sighs._

_“Clarke,” Jake warns. “He’s your superior.”_

_“He’s an idiot that’s what he is.”_

_Jake tries his best not to laugh, but fails because even he knew that Phillip was an idiot. “So I told Lexa I’d go with her. I shouldn’t take too long.”_

_“How about we get dinner? You, me and mum?” Clarke offers._

_“Sounds perfect,” Jake smiles. He steps forward and gives Clarke a hug. “Love you kid.”_

_“Love you too, dad.” Clarke hugs back and breaks it a couple of seconds later. “I should go.”_

_“See you later!”_

_“Good luck on the mission!”_

_Clarke continues on towards Alie’s office. She rounds the corner and suddenly she bumps into someone. “Oh shit – I’m so sorry.”_

_“It’s fine, Clarke.”_

_Clarke straightens herself up and sees that it’s Lexa. “Hey, good luck on your mission.”_

_“Thanks.”_

_Clarke watches Lexa for a moment and she gets a weird feeling. It might have been a long time since they’ve been together but she still knew Lexa pretty well. “You alright?” Clarke asks._

_“Yeah, why you ask?”_

_Clarke shakes her head slightly, “No reason.” There’s a small pause between them and that sinking feeling she has, sinks a little further. “I have to go see Alie.”_

_“Sounds fun,” Lexa smiles._

_Clarke smiles too. “See you when you get back?”_

_Lexa bites her bottom lip and gives the smallest nod._

_Clarke carries on a few steps but then she hears Lexa call out her name again. She turns around and smiles, waiting for Lexa to say whatever she had to say._

_“I–” Lexa pauses and steps forward. She opens her mouth and lifts her hand slightly – but it’s as if she just loses what she was going to say. After a few more moments Lexa lets out a small breath. “Bye, Clarke.”_

_“Bye Lexa,” Clarke smiles._


	3. the divide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a little back story, a little more undercover work and a ~~little~~ reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really want to get this story going so it's going to be a double update week!
> 
> happy reading! :)

**August 2012**  
**(three months after Lexa faked her death)**

_After countless leads and two months of dead ends, Lexa has finally found the person she’s been looking for. Without this person she wouldn’t be able to execute her plan to bring down The Ark, effectively. She needed someone on the inside and it’s not like she could go in herself._

_She’s in an old, abandoned underground car park. It stinks, it’s smoky, people are yelling and screaming and you can barely hear the person beside you. This was not Lexa’s scene, but she had to be here. She watches as a young woman – probably no more than 20 years old enter the makeshift ring everyone was surrounding. She was watching an underground fight club._

_The young woman, Octavia Blake, fights hard and fast. Lexa studies her, studies her movements, her breathing, and her strategy. Immediately she ticks off in her mind what Octavia would need to learn if Lexa’s plan was going to work. Octavia puts up a good fight for someone who has had no proper training. But she is no match for her opponent._

_By the end of the fight Octavia gets up, shakes her opponent’s hand and walks out of the ring. Octavia’s got multiple bruises on her arms and chest (and those are just the ones you can see) and blood trails down her lips. Lexa follows her out of the car park and watches as the woman enters a public bathroom. She waits outside._

_It’s about fifteen minutes later that Octavia comes back out, a little cleaned up from when she entered._

_“Do you need a place to stay tonight?” Lexa asks._

_Octavia comes to a stop and looks around her._

_“Yes,” Lexa nods. “You, do you need a place to stay tonight?”_

_“Who are you?” Octavia asks._

_“Lexa.” She pauses. “You put up a good fight for someone who doesn’t have any training.”_

_Octavia scoffs a little. “Look, whatever you’re selling I’m not interested.”_

_Lexa takes a few steps closer. “You missed the shelter’s curfew today, didn’t you?”_

_“How did you–”_

_“–So you went to fight to try and win some money for a motel room,” Lexa cut in. “But you didn’t win, so I’m ask again, do you need a place to stay tonight?”_

_Octavia lifts her hand slightly, “I don’t know who you are, or what you’re on but just leave me alone.” She turns around and starts to walk off._

_But Lexa follows and catches up. “Octavia–”_

_Octavia whips around and walks up to Lexa, grabbing the collar of her shirt. “How do you know my name?”_

_Lexa reacts immediately, she grips Octavia’s arm and twists it into a hold that renders the younger woman unable to move. Octavia fights against it for a moment before she realises that it might not be the best thing to do._

_“I don’t want to fight you,” Lexa whispers as calmly as she can._

_“Then just leave me alone!”_

_Lexa loosens her hold and pushes Octavia forward. “I know what it’s like to wake up every morning and not know where you’re going to sleep that night. I know what it’s like to wonder when your next meal is going to be. Or when you’ll be able to shower and god – don’t even get me started when it’s the time of the month.”_

_Octavia rubs her arms slightly, “Why do you care?”_

_“Because I’ve been where you are.”_

_“That doesn’t answer my question,” Octavia replies. “We’re strangers.”_

_“We are,” Lexa agrees._

_“Then why the fuck are you offering me a place to stay?”_

_“For a night you don’t have to worry about finding a place to sleep. You can leave in the morning, no questions asked.”_

_Octavia laughs. “There are always questions to be asked.” And with that, Octavia leaves._

_Lexa watches the younger woman go and lets out a deep sigh. “I know where your brother is. Bellamy. I know where he is.”_

_That catches Octavia’s attention. She stills for a moment but doesn’t turn around. “I don’t have a brother,” she says as she continues on._

_“If you change your mind, I’m staying above Sully’s Bar on Fifth!” Lexa decides to not chase after Octavia, not tonight. She knew that this was a delicate situation and she had to play her cards carefully. She was hoping that the curiosity would get the better of Octavia sooner rather than later._

_It’s 3am and Lexa is just about to call it a night. But just as she’s comfortable, there’s a knock on her door. And she is definitely surprised that Octavia is at the other side of it._

_“Do you really know where he is?” Octavia asks._

_Lexa nods._

_“Does your offer still stand?”_

_Lexa nods again and steps aside. “You can take the bed.” The loft didn’t have much as it was only temporary for Lexa. She was only in the city for Octavia._

_Octavia doesn’t argue and goes to the bed immediately. It’s been two weeks since she’s had a bed to herself._

_“Get some rest,” Lexa says. “If you’re still here in the morning than I will tell you whatever you want about your brother.”_

 

* * *

The following day, Octavia gets herself another “detention” after her computer class. She definitely feels bad for pissing off Monty but she’s pretty good with computers so she’ll able to fake a good progress to make up for it. She’s just about to open the shell box to let Lexa know that there was a shoot to kill order on her, but then Bellamy walks in.

Bellamy pulls up a chair but keeps his distance. “O…” he whispers.

Octavia turns to face her brother. It’s been almost 8 years since she’s seen him and he looks very different. It looks like his aged 20 years, he looks exhausted and his eyes are just _so_ sad – like he’s seen things that haunt him even when he’s awake. “What do you want?” she asks, turning back to her and doing one of the exercises from her class.

“To talk,” Bellamy answers. “Can you stop for a second? Please?”

“You’re eight years too late.”

“I had no choice.”

Octavia grits her teeth. “I don’t want to hear it.” That was actually a lie. Her initial reasons for coming into The Ark was to get the truth about what happened to her brother. Obviously, as she learnt more about The Ark from Lexa, the more Octavia wanted to help bring down the organisation as well. But her brother was always a part of the agenda.  

She takes a deep breath in and turns back to look right at Bellamy. “You left me. I was sixteen and I had already lost everyone in my life. I bounced around from foster home to foster home, constantly scared, angry and just so fucking tired. I thought you were dead.”

Bellamy shakes his head, “They told me that they were going to take care of you.”

“Who?”

“The Ark.”

Octavia scoffs. “This place?! A place that trains people to become assassins, told YOU, that they were going to take care of your sister?” Octavia lets out a loud sarcastic, laugh. “Well I can definitely tell you that they didn’t.”

Bellamy leans forward slightly, “O…”

“Don’t,” Octavia says as she stands up from her chair. “I thought you were dead! And now, seeing you here… learning what this place is…” Octavia shakes her head and lets out a harsh breath. “The Bellamy I knew would have never joined a place like this. How much blood do you have on your hands, Bellamy?”

“I didn’t have a choice,” Bellamy repeats.

“So you say.”

“I didn’t!” Bellamy yells. He stands up but when Octavia takes a step back, he sits back down. “That night I disappeared… I was doing a job to get some money.”

“What job?” Octavia asks.

Bellamy pauses. “I had to deliver some Ice across town but I fucked up and–”

“DRUGS?!” Octavia yells. She steps forward the shoves Bellamy slightly, “DRUGS?! AFTER WHAT THEY DID TO MUM YOU GO AND DEAL–”

“I wasn’t dealing!” Bellamy cut in. “I didn’t–”

“–Have a choice,” Octavia finishes. She takes a step back and runs her fingers through her hair, “I need you to leave.”

“Please Octavia, tell me what I can do to fix this,” Bellamy pleads.

“Go!”

Bellamy stands up and reaches forward, “O–”

“ _Hey, is everything alright in here?”_

Octavia turns to the door to see Clarke entering, looking a little concerned.

“Clarke, leave,” Bellamy says. “This isn’t any of your business.”

“It is when it involves one of _my_ recruits.” Clarke turns to Octavia, “Are you okay?”

Octavia doesn’t answer but turns back to Bellamy. “If you’re want _any_ chance at fixing this, you’re going to leave and just give me space.”

Bellamy lets out a loud sigh and leaves without another word.

Octavia returns to her computer, “Thank you,” she whispers.

Clarke gives a slight smile and took the seat that Bellamy was just sitting on. She watches Octavia start one of the training exercises and leans back in her chair. “You want to talk about it?”

“Nothing to talk about,” Octavia replies blatantly.

“Okay, but know that you can talk to be if you ever need to.” Clarke takes a deep breath as she watches Octavia turn towards her. “I’m in a different position to the other agents. They don’t care about your personal life – they’re here to train you and that’s it. But I’m your… I care.”

“You have to, you’re Head of Recruits.”

Clarke sighs. “Yes it’s my job – but I do genuinely care.” She pauses as Octavia returns back to her computer exercise. “Anya told me about your little run in with Bellamy.”

“Did you know?” Octavia asks. She stops typing again and turns to Clarke, “When I came in the first day? Did you know I was Bellamy’s sister?”

“I had my suspicions,” Clarke replies.

The conversation comes to another pause and once again, Octavia turns back to her computer exercise. She just wants Clarke to go so she could update Lexa, but it doesn’t happen. Clarke lingers there, watching her as she ran through the exercise.

Clarke sits up straighter in her chair, “I’m here to make your life in The Ark as easy as possible. So… if there’s something you want to find out or know – just tell me and I’ll do my best to give you answers.”

That catches Octavia’s attention. She turns back to face Clarke. “What if I asked you to find out something about my brother?”

“Just let me know.”

“Isn’t that going against your fellow agent?”

Clarke shrugs a little, “Maybe,” she says as she leans back into her chair.

Octavia nods, “Okay… Can I ask you another question?”

“Sure.”

“This… Lexa… who is she?”

At that moment Clarke gets a call. She takes out her phone but before she answers it she looks up to Octavia. “She’s no one you need to be concerned about.”

All Octavia can do it nod in response. She returns to another computer exercise but pays more attention to Clarke’s conversation over the phone.

“ _Sorry mum, Jaha wants us at the Frontier Plaza event tonight… Yeah… Not much progress on Le– on you know who… Are you okay?... Okay… How about this weekend?... Yeah sounds good…. Love you too… Bye.”_

Clarke is about to say something when there’s a knock at the computer lab door.

 _“GRIFFIN! ROAN IS LOOKING FOR YOU!”_ Raven calls out.

“Coming!” Clarke replies back. She looks to Octavia, “You’ve only been here a couple of days and already you’re working more than some of the other recruits who have been here for months.”

Octavia keeps doing her exercise, “Comply or die, right?” She ignores whatever Clarke’s reaction is to her response – just hoping that she leaves sooner rather than later. And fortunately, she does. Once Octavia is sure that she’s alone she finally is able to open the shell box.

[command] open connection 55.122.09.390

[x057]  
Heda are you there?

[x138]  
What have you got?

[x057]  
Alpha team will be at Frontier  
Plaza with Jaha tonight

[x138]  
Good. If Kane is at The Ark, he’ll  
also be good to snoop around.  
People always handing him info.

[x057]  
Also, there’s a shoot to kill  
order out on you. Be careful.

[x138]  
That’s not a surprise.  
I will.

 

* * *

 

That afternoon Octavia finds herself on the training floor again. Just like the previous day, she finds herself going through most of the equipment on the floor with the other recruits. This time however, she has a set of eyes on her the entire class, and it causes a constant shiver down her spine. Bellamy was standing guard on the floor as well.

It only gets worse when she’s called up for a sparring session. She’s hit a few times and from the corner of her eye she can see him visibly flinch and it even looks like he wants to say something. Octavia finds it extremely annoying so after she loses another round she walks right up to him.

“You need to stop looking at me like that,” she whispers harshly.

“Like what?”

“Like I’m some poor helpless dog.”

Bellamy scoffs. “Anya is putting you up against recruits who have months of training on you.”

Now it was Octavia’s turn to scoff. If only she could tell him that she’s been training for this for the last four years. “It’s the only way to learn,” Octavia defends.

“She could ease up on you a little, you’ve been here a day.”

“ _Are you telling me how to do my job, Guard Blake?”_

Octavia is almost startled as Anya approaches their conversation.

Bellamy sighs. “I’m just saying, is there really a need to put her up against someone three times her size?”

“Don’t listen to him,” Octavia says to Anya.

Anya simply glares at Bellamy. “There’s a reason why I’m head of Alpha team and you’re not, Blake. I know what people are capable of and what they need in order to become a good agent. Maybe if you would have listened to me, you would still be one too.”

Octavia lifts both her hands up and looks to Bellamy. “You’re not an agent anymore?”

“He didn’t tell you?” Anya asks. “Your dear brother _was_ an agent until he–”

“Don’t,” Bellamy warns.

“Or what?” Anya urges. But then it goes silent and Anya doesn’t continue what she was going to say. It wasn’t her story to tell. She turns to Octavia, “Let’s just say he’s demotion to guard has everyone here divided.”

Bellamy raises his eyebrow. “You say that you know what people need in order to become a good agent, but it doesn’t seem like that worked out too well with Lexa did it?”

Anya doesn’t respond.

Octavia looks between Anya and Bellamy, the two of them having a stare off of their own. She can tell that Bellamy is trying to hold his ground, but is failing quite miserably. Even she was scared for him at this point. Anya was Lexa’s mentor and Octavia couldn’t even begin to imagine how Anya was feeling about the whole situation.

Anya points her finger to Bellamy, “In a fight between you and your sister – I’d already put my money on her. She’ll be a better agent that you ever were.”

Octavia’s heart skips a beat because even she knew that was probably the closest thing to a compliment she was going to get from Anya.

Anya turns back to Octavia, “Treadmill. 20 minutes.”

Octavia nods and heads over the treadmills. The second half of the session is better than the first. After the little confrontation between her brother and teacher, Bellamy didn’t stare as much and Octavia feels as if she can breathe a little more. She runs and does the exercises she’s instructed to do and before she knows it, the class is over.

Just as she’s about to leave, Kane calls for her to follow him into his office. Her palms go a little sweaty, she’s a little nervous and anxious to what he wanted to talk about.

Marcus Kane was one of the assistant director to The Ark – basically Jaha’s right hand man and Head of Field Agents. From what Lexa has told her about the man, Kane basically ran the inside of The Ark with Jaha handling formalities outside. Lexa was usually very indifferent about Kane though, saying that if she _had_ to choose for someone to be director, it would be him.

They reach the office and Kane gestures for her to take a seat. “Sir, what is this about? Have I done something wrong?” Octavia asks.

“Oh, no,” Kane reassures. “It’s been brought to my attention that you are related to Bellamy.”

“He’s my brother,” Octavia confirms.

Kane nods. “This is a first for The Ark. I don’t how it slipped through the system.” Octavia simply offers a small shrug in response so he continues. “I don’t know what the story is between the two of you, so would you like to fill me in?”

“Not really,” Octavia replies truthfully.

Kane can’t help the small chuckle that escape his lips. “Fair enough.”

“It’s not going to hinder my time in here, is it?”

“What?” Kane asks. “Your relationship with your brother?”

“There’s is no relationship,” Octavia corrects. But she nods anyways.

 “No. Just stick to your training. But if your relationsh– if things between you and Bellamy do start to affect you, talk to me, or better yet, talk to Agent Griffin.”

Octavia raises an eyebrow. “Agent Griffin?”

“Yes,” Kane nods. “She’s Head of Recruits and while it is her job to care, I’ve seen her go beyond for her recruits in the past.”

Octavia nods and lets the information settle in. There’s suddenly a knock at the door and Kane calls for whoever to come in.

“Oh sorry sir, I didn’t realise you were with someone. I can come back later–”

Kane simply shakes his head and smiles. “It’s okay Wells, come in.” He returns his attention to Octavia, “Octavia, this is Wells. And Wells this is Octavia, one of the new recruits.”

Octavia and Wells share a pleasant handshake.

“I saw you training earlier. Very impressive,” Wells smiles.

Octavia gives a courteous nod. “Thank you.”

Wells then hands over a few papers to Kane. “We got into contact with Luna. Alpha team is set to go to the airport tomorrow morning and dad wants you on the ground as well.”

Kane takes the papers and nods. “Tell him that’s fine.”

“Okay.” And with that Wells leaves with one final goodbye each.

Kane apologises. “Where were we?” He pauses and thinks for a moment. “Ah yes, if you do ever feel like you need to talk to someone – Clarke is the person you want to talk to.”

“Okay.”

“Is there anything you’d like to ask?”

“No.”

Kane nods. “Well then that’s all. You’re free to go.”

Octavia is quick to leave the office. She rounds the corner and walks towards some of the free computers. She needa to update Lexa with what she had just learnt from Wells and Jaha.

“Octavia!”

Octavia internally groans and turns to see Monty waking up to her. “How did you go with the exercises?”

“Finished them all,” she answers.

“Really?” Monty asks. “That was a lot.”

Octavia all but rolls her eyes. “Would you like me to show you?”

“Actually yeah. Meet me in the computer lab in five minutes.”

 _Shit._ “Okay.”

Octavia reaches the computer room and types as fast as she can, hoping to get the message to Lexa before Monty shows up.

[command] open connection 55.122.09.390

[x057]  
Don’t have time to talk.  
Alpha team will also be at  
the airport tomorrow.

[x138]  
Good job.

 

* * *

 

Clarke wanders through the Frontier Plaza, bored out of her mind. Alpha team did not usually act as a security detail but with Lexa out there, Jaha wants the best protection The Ark could give him. The event tonight would also peak Lexa’s interest if she were to show up considering it was an Ice Nation party.

To back track a little, The Ark is funded by a group called “The Council” which compromises of five of the biggest organisations in the country. One of those organisations is _Ice Nation_ the biggest company in the tech industry. It was vitally important for Jaha to keep The Council members happy, so showing up to their events was part of his job.

She continues through the party. It was your standard, high class party. People were dressed to the nines, wearing jewellery that cost more than her car, drinking hundred dollar bottles of champagne like it was water. _This_ type of party was not Clarke’s scene, but it was her job so she doesn’t really have a say in the matter.

“ _Griffin, check in,”_ she hears through her ear piece.

Clarke does a quick scan of her immediate surroundings. Nothing catches her eye so she lifts up her hand to speak into the mic inside her jacket sleeve, “All clear here.”

“ _Clarke!”_

Clarke lets out a subtle sigh at the sound of the name. She knew exactly who it was and just wasn’t in the mood to talk to this person. But then again, she never really is. “Nia,” she greets as she turns around.

“Why is Alpha team at my party? Isn’t standing in as a security detail a little below your pay grade?”

In their morning briefing, Jaha had mentioned that he wanted to keep the Lexa situation under wraps so she quickly comes up with an excuse. “Yes, Alpha team doesn’t accompany Jaha to events, but it has been a while since we’ve done this so we figured it was time to brush up on our skills.”

“Isn’t being an agent _overall_ a little below your pay grade?” Nia asks.

Clarke sighs. “You can try and convince me all you want to join your company, Nia. But you and I both know that my answer will still be no.”

Nia grabs two glasses of champagne from a passing waiter and hands one over to Clarke. “I’m going to keep asking, Clarke. I could use someone of your skills on my team.”

Accepting the glass, Clarke offers a smile. “And I’m going to have to decline the offer, _again.”_

“Very well.” Nia concedes for the time being, but they both know that when they cross paths next, Nia was going to ask the same question again.

Clarke does another lap of the party. She checks in with Anya again, catches up with a few acquaintances and crosses paths with a few of her fellow agents. Everything seems to be okay. But the key word is, _seems._

Just when Clarke thought that the night was going smoothly, everything within her flips. At the bar she can see the profile of a familiar face, she can see the profile of the woman she thought was dead for the last four years. Clarke doesn’t know what she’s feeling at this moment. Part of her wants scream, another wants to cry, there’s this part of her that is sure that she’s dreaming (and she doesn’t know if she wants to wake up) and there’s the smallest part of her that wants to jump right into Lexa’s arms.

Clarke takes a couple of deep breaths and lifts her wrist towards her lips. She speaks into the mic, “I have eyes on Lexa. We don’t want to make a scene, so I’m going to approach. Do not engage unless I give the signal.”

Anya replies back almost immediately, “ _We have your back, Griffin.”_

Clarke looks around to see her team all standing by and she knows she’s good to go. She takes small and tentative steps towards Lexa, still afraid that if she moved too fast Lexa would somehow just vanish into thin air. Lexa’s wearing a bright red dress that has a slit running up her left leg. It wasn’t exactly subtle. Clarke’s heartbeat picks up with every step she takes and her emotions continue to run amuck.

She approaches the bar, taking the empty space besides Lexa. “It’s like you want to get caught,” she whispers. She calls for the bartender, “Two scotches. One neat, one on the rocks.”

“ _Coming right up,”_ the bartender replies.

Clarke doesn’t dare to look over to Lexa.

“Who says I don’t have you right where I want?” Lexa replies.

Clarke either gains 10 years to her life or losses them at the first sound of Lexa’s voice. Sure there was the earlier breach in The Ark system – but the real thing could never compare. It’s still as soft and as delicate as she remembers. There were always two sides to Lexa – The Ark agent Lexa, and then there was just _Lexa._ And luckily for Clarke, she got to see both sides.

Putting their current situation aside Clarke lets her mind wander back to the little pockets of happiness they once shared. They worked so well together both professionally and personally and Clarke hasn’t been able to form such a bond with anyone else since.

 

**April 2009**

_Clarke, Lexa and the rest of Alpha team leave the post-mission meeting on a high. They had just completed a 2-week mission, successfully, and were given the all clear to take the weekend off. Of course they were still expected to remain close by – just in case something popped up but they would take any break they could at this point._

_As they all pack their bag in their locker room, Raven calls out, “Drinks at Joe’s everyone?!”_

_Everyone cheers, everyone except Clarke and Lexa._

_“I’m beat, Raven,” Clarke says. “I’m just going to call it a day and sleep for the next two days.”_

_“Wuss,” Raven laughs. She turns to Lexa, “What about you?”_

_Lexa shrugs slightly. “I guess I’m a wuss too.”_

_“Nah it’s cool, if you want to sleep for the next two days it’s fine. You deserve it, you did most of the work out there.” Raven smirks. She wasn’t going to be caught dead calling The Commander a wuss. Lexa could easily beat her with one hand tied behind her back whilst being blindfolded._

_Clarke just shakes her head, “So when Lexa wants to sleep it’s cool, but when I want to sleep, I’m a wuss?”_

_“Basically.” Raven zips up her bag and kicks her locker shut, “But we all know that ‘sleep’ is code for having non-stop sex for the next two days.”_

_Clarke throws her spare shirt towards Raven and glares._

_Raven throws the shirt right back. “It’s not a bad thing. What I would give for non-stop sex for two days.”_

_“That can be arranged,” Anya winks._

_Lexa groans. “Too much information.”_

_Though neither of them could deny it. They have been together for the last 2 weeks, but they barely had time to themselves considering how dangerous the mission was. Their first priority was the mission and their team and both of them knew that.  But now that they were finally back on home ground – they both couldn’t wait to spend some time just with each other._

_Clarke drives them out of The Ark facility – stopping by a quiet little Thai restaurant to have dinner. They share an easy meal, content with the peace and stillness of the moment. It has been non-stop action for the last two weeks and it felt so good to be able to slow things down._

_But slow was not the intention when they got back to Clarke’s apartment. Once inside, Clarke pushes Lexa against the door, connecting their lips in a fiery kiss. Her hands roam down the side of Lexa’s body, stopping at the brunette’s waist and pinning her against the door. The kiss remains hot, strong and passionate._

_Without breaking the kiss, Clarke tugs at the hem of Lexa’s shirt. When she feels a slight nod, she lifts the shirt up and over Lexa’s arms. Instantly she presses their bodies together, moving to kiss Lexa’s neck and smirks in response as Lexa starts to whimper against her._

_“Fuck, Clarke.”_

_Clarke trails her hands down to Lexa’s jeans. She pops open the button and slides down the zipper, and tugs the material down until Lexa is able to step out of them. Her heart beat picks up as Lexa stands there, looking right back at her with the upmost desire. She leans forward and captures Lexa’s lips against her own again, moaning as their tongues glide against each other._

_“Up,” Clarke whispers. “Let me take you to bed.”_

_And with that Lexa jumps up slightly and wraps her legs around Clarke’s waist. She continues to kiss Clarke, as she’s being carried through the apartment. When they reach the bedroom, Clarke drops her to the bed first. Lexa sits on the edge of it and tugs for Clarke to step closer. She undoes Clarke’s belt, then the zipper of her pants, urging Clarke to step out of them._

_Clarke takes initiative and steps out of her underwear as well. She doesn’t want to waste any more time, so she takes off her shirt and unclasps her bra moments later. Her breathing is rapid and rather loud – but that’s just the affect Lexa has on her. She straddles Lexa’s lap, and slowly the two of them make their way to the middle of the bed._

_Lexa remains sitting up, as Clarke leans in to kiss her again. In an instant their tongues are together again and the panting and moaning between them quickens. Clarke slowly starts to rock into her and Lexa loses her ability to think about anything else. Everything in her is quickly building. She brings one of her hands to cup Clarke’s breast and smiles into the kiss as she feels Clarke moan at the contact._

_With her free hand she trails it between their bodies and towards Clarke’s centre. She pushes her fingers through the slick folds and lets out a sigh as she starts to rub Clarke’s clit._

_Clarke has to stop her kisses so she can catch her breath. “Fuck,” she pants. “Yes, Lexa.”_

_Lexa continues to rub Clarke’s clit at a steady pace. Her lips are on Clarke’s nipples, sucking and licking along with the moaning she can hear from the woman above her._

_Clarke starts to buck against Lexa hand, urging her partner for more. “Please Lex, I need, fuck,” she cries as Lexa picks up the pace with her fingers. Clarke guides Lexa’s face back up so she can kiss her again. “Please.”_

_Lexa stops the teasing. She enters Clarke with two fingers and starts to pump in and out. Clarke starts to grind down with each movement, softly biting Lexa’s bottom lip as she loses her ability to speak properly. Lexa moves her body with Clarke’s and they find the perfect rhythm._

_“Yes, yes, yes,” Clarke breathes. As she continues to kiss Lexa and grind against Lexa’s hand, she can feel herself getting closer. “Fuck, Lexa I’m so close.”_

_Lexa moves her lips back to Clarke’s nipple, sucking harder than before._

_“Lex – fuck.” Clarke quickens her movements and her breathing becomes more erratic. She tangles her fingers through Lexa’s hair and continues to moan Lexa’s name, over and over. When she comes, she comes with Lexa’s name on her lips._

_When Clarke wakes up she’s alone. But the sound of rustling in the kitchen eases her mind and grabs some new clothes to change into. She wanders into the kitchen and the smell of bacon is prominent throughout the apartment. She enters the kitchen._

_“Is The Commander making_ me _breakfast?” Clarke asks, wrapping her arms around Lexa’s waist and resting her chin on Lexa’s shoulder._

_“Nope,” Lexa grins._

_Clarke lets out a small laugh. “You really going to eat all that bacon?”_

_Lexa turns around so that they’re facing each other. She leans in just so that their lips are a breath a part, “Yes. Someone wore me out last night so I need the energy so she can do it again today.”_

_Clarke grins. “I like the sound of that.” She leans in and kisses Lexa. It’s not like their kisses from the night before. This one is light, sweet and gives them a very dangerous feeling – the feeling of hope. But it doesn’t stop them, they let themselves feel the tenderness of the moment._

_They break away from the kiss and rests their foreheads against each other. It’s a heavy silence at first – because they both knew that their relationship had grown into something they both weren’t exactly expecting. But like some unspoken agreement they are not Ark agents in this moment. They are just Clarke and Lexa._

_“Look at us,” Clarke smiles, “All domestic and shit.”_

_Lexa lets out a small laugh. “Always so eloquent, Clarke.”_

**Present Day**

“What are you doing here, Lexa?” Clarke asks. “You know you’re surrounded right?”

“Of course.”

The bartender comes back with the drinks and Clarke slides the neat Scotch over to Lexa.

“You remember,” she smiles. Lexa brings the drink up to her lips and takes a small sip. “You must have a lot of questions.”

Clarke scoffs. “That’s an understatement.” She watches as Lexa turns to face her, their eyes lingering with each other longer than normal. Green eyes flicker down towards her hand though, and Clarke knows exactly what she’s looking at. She lets out a small sigh and twists her watch slightly. “Thank you,” she whispers. Despite whatever she’s feeling in this moment, having her dad’s watch back is something that she is grateful for.

Lexa turns back to the bar and shrugs softly. “Your dad asked me to give it to you, I’m just sorry that it took so long.”

“Lexa,” Clarke whispers. “What are you doing?” And it’s taking everything in her to not burst into tears (again). It was surreal and she still had trouble believing that Lexa was actually alive and that this was actually happening. Clarke has spent so much time only ever dreaming that a moment like this could ever exist. And now here it was, no longer just a dream.

Lexa takes another swig of her drink and puts down the glass. “It’s got to stop, Clarke. All of it.”

“You really think you can take down Jaha and The Ark? You’re really ready to go against the people you once called friends?” Clarke asks. “You ready to against people you fought beside, fought _for?_ You ready to go against _me_?”

“This has always been bigger than you and me, Clarke.” Lexa reaches into her purse and halts her moment as she sees Clarke flinch. She looks around and spots the other Ark agents closing in on her too. “Relax,” Lexa whispers. “I know I’m surrounded. I just have something for Jaha.”

Clarke lifts her mic to her lips, “Stand down, I’m okay,” she tells her team.

Lexa pulls out half of the shattered black box and hands it over to Clarke. After she destroyed it, she made sure no one could pull any information from it. “One down, five to go.”

Clarke ignores the box. “How do you think this is going to play out?”

“Exactly how I expect it to.”

“So you’re not going to put up a fight? And you’re going to come in without making a scene?”

Lexa chuckles. “That’s not what’s going to happen.” She reaches into her purse again and pulls out her phone.

Clarke’s hand rest on the gun on her belt. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Checking to lotto numbers, Clarke. It’s Friday.” Lexa starts typing away at her phone.

“This isn’t a game, Lexa.”

And then suddenly the lights go out and the alarms go off. It’s chaos and everyone in the party starts to scream and scramble for the exit. When the lights kick back on, Lexa is nowhere to be found. “I’ve lost Lexa!” Clarke yells into her mic. “Does anyone have eyes on here?”

_“Negative.”_

_“No.”_

_“There’s just too much people.”_

Clarke makes her way through the people, scanning the crowd for any signs of the woman. She’s being bumped into from all sides and almost loses her balance a couple of times as well. Occasionally she catches other Ark agents making their way through the crowd, so she tries to venture towards areas that don’t have agents covering them. Lexa couldn’t have got that far.

“ _Anything?”_ Anya asks over the intercom.

“Negative,” Clarke replies.

“ _Nothing on the dance floor.”_

_“She’s not by the bar anymore.”_

The alarms are still blaring and the guests continue to try and get out. Clarke spots a flash of red through the crowd and starts to follow who she thinks could be Lexa. She pushes past a large of group of people, with someone managing to rip the mic out from her jack sleeve. The person in red makes a run for the back door and Clarke finally gets past the group of people to follow.

She listens carefully, following the pitter patter of the footsteps. Eventually she pushes her way through another door and she’s out in the alleyway. Surely enough it is Lexa who she was following. Clarke takes out her gun and yells, “LEXA! STOP!”

Lexa comes to a halt but doesn’t turn around.

“The gun strapped to your leg, throw it back here.”

Lexa reaches for her gun and instead of throwing it back towards Clarke, she throws it forward. She then turns around and lifting up both hands as if she was surrendering.

“Really, Lexa?” Clarke asks, unimpressed.

Lexa simply shrugs and takes a step forward.

Clarke refocuses her gun, “Don’t take another step.”

“Isn’t there a shoot to kill order on me?” Lexa takes another step forward. “Aren’t you supposed to take the shot?”

Clarke keeps her hand steady despite how much she was internally shaking. Never in a million years would she have thought she’d end up in a situation like this. “How do you know about that?”

With her hands still up, Lexa takes another step forward. “So it’s true.”

Clarke bites her bottom lip and nods.

“Then why haven’t you taken the shot, yet?”

“You know why,” Clarke replies without missing a beat. “I’m just going to bring you in.”

Lexa shakes her head. “I can’t let you do that.”

“Are you really in the position to negotiate?” Clarke asks, giving her gun a slight shake.

Lexa continues to walk forward until they’re just a couple of feet away from each other. “This, right here, only ends in one of two ways, Clarke.” She pauses and swallows the lump in her throat. “Shoot me. Or let me go.”

Clarke’s breath hitches and but her hand remains steady as she continues to hold the gun towards Lexa. “I fucking hate you, Lexa.”

“I know.”

Clarke sighs. Her team will be out here any moment she probably had three seconds to make a decision on what she was going to do.


	4. where to now?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a new ally? a flash back and the calm before the storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you're well. happy reading!

It’s barely the beginning and Lexa is tired.

She’s just so exhausted.

She can't turn back now, and she wouldn't.

But she’s just so tired.

Sending Octavia in, seeing Abby, learning about the other boxes and reuniting with Clarke has her feeling like the weight of the world is on her shoulders. And arguably, it is. This plan of hers is stretching her so far and so thin, and she’s so worried that she’s going to fail with potentially fatal consequences.

Last night was a very close call. To say that Lexa wasn’t scared as Clarke held a gun to her, would be a complete lie. She was 99% sure Clarke wasn’t going to shoot her, but it was that remaining 1% that she could only focus on. It’s been four years since Lexa turned her back on everyone at The Ark – and she didn’t know what Clarke was thinking or feeling at the news of her return.

But after a few agonising long seconds, Clarke had lowered her gun and walked away without another word. Lexa was definitely grateful that it worked in her favour – but it was the silence that got to her. She has no right to feel sad since she was the one to leave, but it still gets to her. Because despite her choosing her head over heart, her heart still sung Clarke’s name even after all this time.

Now, not even 12 hours later she has Clarke and the rest of Alpha team in her sights again. With Octavia’s little tip off from the previous day, Lexa’s only guess to today’s mission was a pick up mission. Jaha must have called one of the Reapers in and the agents were here to escort them back to The Ark. Now all Lexa needed was a plan to intercept.

Lexa adjust her earpiece, “Any signs of the Reaper, B?”

“ _Nothing on the cameras.”_

On the other end of the call was B, who was currently watching over the airport through the security the cameras.

“How are we supposed to know what this person looks like?” Lexa asks, scanning the area once again.

“ _When the agents move, you move_ _.”_

“Right,” Lexa laughs. She knows that’s about the extent of humour that could be possibly drawn from this conversation. It’s hard trying to keep up with the Ark agents on the ground. Some are banned together, some are undercover and then Kane was also there. Lexa might have been one of the top agents while she was working for them, but here it was all the top agents against her.

She then feels someone approaching from behind – she doesn’t have time to react because the tip of a blade is being pointed against the small of her back.

“Scream, and this goes right through your spine.”

_Lincoln._

Lexa just nods. “What are you doing here?” she whispers.

“The same thing you are,” he replies.

Lexa raises an eyebrow. “You bringing down The Ark as well? We should join forces.”

“Still as funny as ever, Commander,” Lincoln says. There’s a small pause as he pulls Lexa back a few steps and towards a less crowded area. He puts away his knife and turns Lexa around, “Alpha team is here for Luna but I’ve already gotten to her.”

“ _Gotten_ to her?” Lexa asks. “Don’t tell me you didn’t–”

“No,” Lincoln interrupts. “Do you really think that little of me?”

“I don’t really know what to think of you anymore.”

Lincoln sighs. “Well if you want Luna, you’re going to have to tell me what you’re up to.”

“How am I supposed to trust you?”

Lincoln lifts up his index finger, “First, you’re still alive. If I was still working with The Ark, they’ve had you by now.” He lifts up his second finger, “I’m not blind. I know exactly what The Ark is and what they do. And thirdly…” He lifts up his shirt slightly.

Lexa sees a fresh scar just above Lincoln’s hip bone – a scar that she also has. It's a scar that she got when she cut out her tracker.

“I cut out my tracker,” Lincoln says.

Lexa looks back up to Lincoln, “I can see that.”

“I can’t help if I don’t know what’s going, Lexa.”

Lexa takes a few deep breaths. Her instincts tell her that she can trust Lincoln – but instincts also told her to fake her death and plan a takedown of The Ark, so she’s a little apprehensive about it all. But having Lincoln on her side would make a big difference. So she nods despite still being sceptical about the whole thing. “Okay, but not here.”

 

* * *

 

It’s just before lunch and Octavia was spending her free time in the training room. Her morning session had involved an introductory class into weapons – which was something that she was looking forward to for quite some time. Weapons were easy and she lets herself excel in the class right away. She didn't need to be wasting her time unnecessarily. 

She’s quickly learns that most recruits don't just lounge around and do nothing during their free time – so she keeps busy as well. She’s well into her time on the treadmill when she sees Jaha walk past, looking very pissed. She couldn’t help but smile on the inside as she could only guess that Lexa was the reason behind his sour mood.

She sees Wells chasing after his dad moments later. “Hey Wells!” she calls out.

Wells comes to a stop. “Hey Octavia,” he smiles. “How’s your morning?”

Octavia shrugs slightly as she continues run. “Can’t complain.”

“Wish I could say the same.”

“Something wrong?”

Wells grits his teeth a little before letting out a small sigh. “Nothing you need to be concerned about. I have to go before my dad has my head.”

Octavia simply nods and watches Wells run off again. Lexa wasn’t really able to tell her much about Wells – considering that their paths didn’t cross much. Wells wasn’t an agent, but he didn’t really have an “official” position in The Ark. He had a life outside the organisation so all Lexa could offer was that he held some sort of personal assistant role to his dad. It was Octavia’s job to find out more about the man.

About ten minutes later, Octavia sees Alpha team walk past the training floor. They’re all tight lipped and tense. Whatever mission they were just on obviously didn’t go according to plan. She slows down the treadmill to a walking pace and waits till Clarke is close enough to hear her. “Didn’t go so well, huh?" she asks. 

Clarke comes to a stop in front of the treadmill. “Something like that. Got to go talk to the boss now.”

“Good luck,” Octavia says

Clarke offers a small smile. “Thanks.”

Octavia picks up the speed again once Clarke leaves. She watches as the other agents walk past and towards the main operations room. Jogging helps clear her mind so she can focus on what she needs to do next. But as she sees Bellamy approach her, she lets out an exasperated sigh. “I’m running,” she states.

Bellamy stops in front of treadmill. “Just hear me out?”

Octavia doesn’t say anything. She would be okay with either outcome at this point. Bellamy could walk away and she wouldn’t care. Or Bellamy could talk and she wouldn’t care. She knows she said she needed a time and space, but if it was her way, it would probably take a ridiculous amount of time get her to talk to her brother again.

“I was desperate for money,” Bellamy reveals. “We barely had food and I could barely keep the roof over our heads... so I asked a friend for a job. It was meant to be a one-time thing, I take some drugs to a building across town, get paid then I would be out.”

“But you fucked up,” Octavia comments.

Bellamy nods. “Ran into some cops at the building and freaked out. I fought them and then I ran but I didn’t get very far. I was stopped by some of the building’s guards. I thought that was it. But they kept me over night somewhere – I think in the basement and just asked me so many questions. I told them that I needed to get back to you and that’s when they offered me a deal.”

“A deal?”

“Yeah,” Bellamy confirms. “They said that they were impressed with my fighting skills and that they knew someone who could use them.”

“The Ark?” Octavia asks.

And Bellamy nods again. “Told me if I took the job that they’d take care of you. But they didn’t really give me a choice. Next thing you know I’m waking up here and they just told me to keep my head down and train otherwise they’d stop looking out for you.”

“Past you is an idiot for believing them, Bellamy.”

Bellamy sighs a little. “I didn’t know what else to do.”

Octavia knows that was probably true. After all the things she’s learnt and heard about The Ark, the one constant thing was the notion of follow their orders or be floated – or as she liked to call it “comply or die.”

Once again, Octavia lowers the speed of the treadmill to a walking pace. “I have a question.”

“Okay,” Bellamy nods.

“What happened that got you demoted to guard?”

“It’s not important.”

Octavia shakes her head. “Obviously it is if it’s got agents taking sides on what happened. From what I’ve heard some think that a guy named Pike was the problem and others think that you should have been floated for what you did.”

“Where did you hear that?” Bellamy asks, clearly annoyed.

“This is spy school,” Octavia replies. “I did some spying. Plus, people talk.”

“And do you believe them?”

“I don’t know what to believe. I thought you were dead for the last eight years so…” Octavia trails off and increases the speed again.

Bellamy’s face softens and he takes a few seconds to compose himself. He watches his sister continue to run like this conversation wasn’t important to her. “I did some things I’m not proud of,” he says.

“That can’t be a first for you,” Octavia bites back.  It’s harsh and mean – she knows that but it’s all she’s got to offer right now.

“Look O, I’m trying,” Bellamy pleads.

“And I’m trying to train.” She doesn’t want to be mad at him but it is so hard knowing everything The Ark has done and what they stand for. And to see and know that Bellamy has been working for them all this time, her stomach turns at the thought. She really does want a relationship with her brother again, but she finds herself stuck between a rock and a hard place.

 

August 2012

_Octavia wakes up and for a moment she forgets where she is. It’s so quiet. She doesn’t remember when the last time she woke up this peacefully was. Slowly the memories of the previous night play out; the stranger (Lexa) who she met in the park, offering her a place to stay and saying that she knew where Bellamy was._

_She didn’t believe it at first because to her, Bellamy was dead._ _She hasn’t thought about her brother in a very long time because there wasn’t any need to. But after she left the park it was the only thing that was on her mind and curiosity got the better of her. Next thing you know she’s knocking on Lexa’s door and falling asleep on the woman’s bed._

_Octavia looks around the space and it’s pretty empty. Lexa definitely didn’t live here. There was a bed, a couch, a table with laptop and some other equipment on it, a little kitchen and to the side there was a door to the bathroom._

_The front door opens and Octavia waits to see who is entering the place. It’s Lexa._

_“You’re up,” Lexa smiles. “And you’re still here.”_

_Octavia nods and moves to sit on the edge of the bed. “I’ll get out of your hair.”_

_“I thought you wanted to know about your brother.”_

_“I thought so too.”_

_“What changed?”_

_Octavia shrugs._

_“Are you afraid of the truth?” Lexa asks._

_Octavia stands up and sighs. “Why are you telling me about Bellamy? For the past however many years it’s been – I thought he was dead.” She gestures around the apartment, “And it doesn’t look like you live here, so are you only here to find me?”_

_“Yes,” Lexa replies honestly._

_“Why?”_

_“Why don’t you want to know about your brother?” Lexa counters._

_Octavia starts to pace back and forth. “You know; I was perfectly fine with my life until you showed up last night.”_

_“Fine?” Lexa questions. “You compete in fights for money, Octavia. You don’t know where you’re sleeping tonight. When was the last time you had a proper meal? Or a proper shower? When was the last time you didn’t have to worry about where the day was going to take you?”_

_Octavia goes quiet._

_“Look – I don’t know a lot about you but I know bits and pieces.”_

_“Really?” Octavia asks, raising her eyebrow._

_“Yeah I do.” Lexa pauses and moves to sit on one of her chairs, still facing Octavia. “I know that as a child you had a blue bunny you took everywhere with you. I know that the first time you went to Disneyland your mum almost lost you within the first twenty minutes of entering the park. I know that you broke your arm falling down the stairs. You had a dog named Chewy who ran away. I know that you were school captain in primary school.”_

_Octavia’s eyes go wide. “How do you know all that?”_

_“Bellamy.”_

_“So you and my brother are friends?”_

_Lexa shakes her head slightly. “It’s complicated, but if you want to put it in very simple terms, yes we were friends.”_

_“Were?”_

_“It’s complicated,” Lexa says again._

_“I don’t need complicated in my life.”_

_“That’s fair enough.”_

_Octavia squeezes the bridge of her nose, confused. She’s getting mixed signals from Lexa. The woman was obviously looking for her (for whatever reason) and now that she has her, Lexa doesn’t seem to care if Octavia decides to walk out the door right now._

_“Why did you come and find me?” Octavia asks._

_Lexa tilts her head slightly, “I thought you should know.”_

_“That’s a load of bull. Tell me the truth.”_

_“The truth is complicated, Octavia. And I thought you didn’t want that?”_

_That causes to Octavia to sigh loudly, again. They were just going around in circles at this point. She watches Lexa sit there as calm as ever, whilst she felt the complete opposite. Octavia was feeling nervous, anxious and scared and as if a ball was going to drop at any moment. What could Lexa possibly tell her about her brother that’s going to surprise her?_

_“Tell me,” Octavia says quietly._

_“Are you sure?” When Lexa sees Octavia nod, she continues on. “Well you’re going to want to sit down for this.”_

_Octavia moves about the apartment and sits on the couch across from Lexa. An eerie silence fills the room and again, she’s unsure of whether or not she wants to hear what Lexa has to say. But she listens anyways and Lexa tells her quite the story over the next half an hour. She hears about a place called “The Ark” and how they take in troubled young teens/adults and trains them to become assassins. Lexa tells her about some guy name Jaha and Kane, other agents, an Alpha team and a few missions that had made worldwide news – only for The Ark to cover up the real stories behind them._

_“So you faked your death to escape an organisation of assassins?” Octavia asks as Lexa finishes telling her story._

_Lexa nods._

_“Not a very smart move,” Octavia shrugs. “What if they find out you’re still alive?”_

_“Are you saying you believe me?”_

_Octavia shrugs slightly again and leans back into the chair. “If it’s not true it would make one hell of a novel. You could be an author. Make millions. Maybe even get a movie deal. Oh! Who would you have play you?”_

_“This isn’t a game, Octavia.”_

_“What did you expect from me?” Octavia does some hand gestures, trying to gather her thoughts. “Did you really expect me to believe that you’re a trained assassin who just so happens to have worked alongside my brother? Who also happens to be a trained assassin? Do you really expect me to believe that MY BROTHER who I thought was dead all this time, is alive and well and hasn’t tried to come and find me?”_

_“He can’t,” Lexa whispers. “The Ark would kill the both of you if they ever found out that he was looking for you. However, that didn’t stop him from seeing you.”_

_“That’s a load of crap. I haven’t seen him since the day he disappeared.”_

_Lexa shakes her head and takes out her phone. “I’m going to play you something but first, how did you spend your 19 th birthday?” _

_“What?” Octavia asks._

_“You’re 19 th birthday. It would have been… 2011. What did you do in the morning?”_

_Octavia shuts her eyes and hums. “Um... I… I was at the gym. I wasn’t celebrating or anything because I never celebrated my birthday. But I remember because someone sent me–”_

_“–Flowers,” Lexa finishes._

_“Yeah, how did you know?”_

_Lexa taps at her phone a recording starts to play._

> _Lexa: Blake! Where were you all morning?_
> 
> _Bellamy: Sorry. I was out – what’s up?_
> 
> _Lexa: Nothing. Just wanted to update you on Green Top before the meeting. Clarke and I figured a few new routes we could take in and wanted to your input... Are you okay? You look..._
> 
> _Bellamy: It’s my sister’s birthday today._
> 
> _Lexa: Oh I’m–_
> 
> _Bellamy: It’s fine. I just went to see her, that’s all. First time I’ve seen her in like eight months and she was at the gym. She wasn’t even celebrating._
> 
> _Lexa: Some people just don’t like to celebrate it._
> 
> _Bellamy: I know but still. I sent her some flowers. I hope she likes them._
> 
> _Lexa: Bellamy–_
> 
> _Bellamy: Anonymously, of course. I just wish I had been there when she got them. When we were growing up mum had this beautiful garden of tulips that just livened up the whole place. Octavia loved-_

_“Stop,” Octavia breathes._

_Lexa stops the recording, gauging Octavia’s reaction._

_Octavia continues, “That only proves you know Bellamy and that yeah, he isn’t dead. Doesn’t prove the whole assassin part of your story though.”_

_“I don’t know what else to tell you, Octavia.”_

_Octavia is getting annoyed at this little game. Lexa either has the world’s best poker face or she was telling the truth. But the “truth” just sounded so outrageous. A group of hired assassins? Could such a thing really exist in this world? Could they really go undetected from other law enforcements?_

_“Tell me that this is just some prank,” Octavia replies._

_Lexa shakes her head. “It’s not.”_

_Octavia lets out another sigh. “Say it is true, what do you want from me?”_

_“I want you to help me bring down The Ark.”_

* * *

“How has this happened?!” Jaha yells, pacing back and forth the control room. “How has the most elite group of agents in The Ark’s history still not managed to get Lexa?!”

Clarke swallows the lump in her throat and holds her breath. She still doesn’t know if letting Lexa go was the right choice but she couldn’t linger on that anymore. What’s done is done. And now she, the rest of Alpha team (Raven, Anya, Roan and Indra), Kane and a few other agents are copping a verbal beating from Jaha after Luna failed to show up at the airport this morning.

“Respectfully, sir, our mission was to pick Luna up from the airport and bring her here,” Anya says calmly. “How do you expect us to do our job when whoever was handling her travels couldn’t do theirs?”

“What about last night then?” Jaha asks. He holds up the damaged black box Lexa had given back. “Lexa was at the party! And from what I’ve heard,” he turns to Clarke, “One of my agents got close enough to have a conversation with her. And yet, she still managed to escape.”

Clarke apologises. “Once the alarms went off it was chaos. I chased her to the alleyway but she must have had a getaway car or something.”

“This is why the first order was a shoot to kill.”

Indra steps forward. “Sir, I don’t believe that’s the right call.” Everyone in the room turns to face the older woman. She usually wasn’t one to talk, more of a doer than anything else. So when she had something to say, everyone listened. “Agent Griffin is right, we should bring her in and question her. She’s got to be getting her information or support from somewhere. If we take her out, there’s a chance someone else could finish what she’s starting.”

“She shouldn’t be able to start anything!” Jaha shakes his head and grunts disapprovingly. “I don’t like this. I don’t like the fact that she’s still out there. Not to mention that Lincoln has gone dark and Luna–”

“What do you mean Lincoln’s gone dark?” Raven asks.

“His tracker is offline,” Monty answers. “Which means he is either dead or he’s cut it out.”

“He’s definitely cut it out,” Kane says.

Jaha nods. “If he came in he knew he would have been floated for losing the box.”

“What do you want us to do?” Anya asks.

“Your jobs!” Jaha yells. “Find Luna! Find out if she ever got on her flight, find out who she’s been in contact with in the last few days.”

Anya nods.

Jaha turns to Kane, “Do not call in the other Reapers just yet. Tell them to stay put but to up their security protocol to level 3.”

Kane nods and leaves the room, typing away at his phone.

“Any missions that aren’t level 1 or 2 are suspended for the time being,” Jaha instructs. “I want this Lexa situation sorted out! I don’t care if she’s dead or locked up in the basement. I just want her dealt with!”

All the agents nod in response.

Jaha looks around the room and takes a deep breath in. “Lexa is now level 1 priority. The shoot to kill order is reinstated. That’s all.”

No one dares to argue with Jaha. They nod their response and start to leave the room one by one.

“Griffin!” Jaha calls out. “A minute.”

Clarke waits idly by as most of the agents leave the room. A few of the computer technicians remain in the room but look as if they’re pretty occupied with their work. “Sir?” Clarke asks.

Jaha steps forward towards Clarke. “I need to know Griffin, is your past relationship with Lexa going to be an issue here?”

“What?”

“It’s no secret that you two have history,” he says. “So I need to know, will that history be an issue?”

Clarke shakes her head. “No,” she lies.

 

* * *

 

It takes Lexa a good half an hour to convince Lincoln to hand over his weapons to her. Lexa wanted to trust him – she did, but there was a part of her that just wanted to take that extra precaution. Of course Lincoln was against it at first but eventually conceded if it was the only way to get Lexa to trust him.

Now here they were back at Lexa’s apartment, each with their own cup of coffee as if they were two friends just catching up. It was very weird. The very simple act of having coffee together just made the fact that they were now both rogue assassins, all the much more _real_.

Lexa notices the shift in Lincoln’s attitude. This was the Lincoln she knew from when they were working together. And this is what lets her eventually open up about how she planned her escape for almost a year. She tells him about Operation Blue Box and what she’s been up to for the past four years (she obviously leaves out a few key details – not wanting to lay all her cards out on the table just yet).

“Wow,” Lincoln nods. “Okay… well if anyone could escape The Ark, it would be you.”

Lexa smiles a little. “I’ll take that as a compliment?”

Lincoln laughs. “Yeah, you do that.” There’s a small pause as Lincoln takes another sip of his coffee, before putting down his mug again. “Well you know that there are six black boxes, right?”

Lexa nods. “You had one and I’m guessing Luna is another Reaper?”

“Correct,” Lincoln confirms. “Jaha has a box and then the other three are in three different countries. They won’t come easy.”

“Any chance you know who they are?”

Lincoln shakes his head. “Unfortunately, no. However, I can’t say the same for Luna. She’s a lot more connected than I am with the other Reapers.”

“Where is she?” Lexa asks.

“Away.”

“Is that all you’re going to give me?”

Lincoln nods. “Luna has always been indifferent... They killed her brother.”

“Oh–” Lexa breathes. “Do you really think she’s going to be willing to work with me though? She hated me when we were in The Ark together.”

“She just… she didn’t like the fact that you managed to graduate within a year of entering The Ark.”

Lexa raises an eyebrow, “So she was jealous?” Lincoln gives a small nod. “So if she’s always been indifferent, why hasn’t she made a move against The Ark?”

Lincoln sighs. “What’s the reason why anyone does anything for The Ark?”

“They have something on her,” Lexa whispers.

“That’s my best bet.” Lincoln pauses. “But I think more than that – she knows that taking down The Ark is not a one-man job.” He raises his eyebrow at Lexa.

“I told you, I’m not alone in this fight.”

“You’re not? I thought you were just lying.”

Lexa shakes her head. “Far from it. But you don’t need to know about them… _yet_.”

Lincoln gives a small nod. “Fair enough. With the right persuasion Luna will give you the box to destroy. She wants to see The Ark burn as much as you do.”

“What about you?” She watches as Lincoln contemplate his answer. His hands still are wrapped around the coffee mug and Lexa can see him thinking hard. The shift in Lincoln since the first day she saw him really has changed and there’s just a part of her that makes her feel uneasy. But then again, this was an uneasy situation overall.

“I do too,” Lincoln replies honestly. “They’ve been trying to turn me into a monster for as long as I can remember and maybe… maybe I am one.”

“Lincoln…” Lexa whispers.

Lincoln shakes his head a smiles. “It’s fine. I just wish I had done something sooner.”

“It’s not too late.”

“I want to fight with you, Lexa.” Lincoln pauses. “I know you don’t really have a reason to trust me yet, but I mean it. I’m still that guy who was once your friend.”

Lexa takes another sip of her coffee but doesn’t say anything yet. Having Lincoln on her side of this would make such a big difference – and with Lincoln comes Luna and the black box as well. Another agent, who despite their differences, probably wanted to same things as her.

“If we’re going to work together, I want to tell you something.” Lincoln waits until he sees Lexa give a small nod. “I’m going to take something out of my pocket, okay?”

“What is it?”

Lincoln reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small, clear container. Lexa leans a little forward to see that it’s filled with red tablets.

“Jaha calls this _Red.”_ Lincoln gives the container a small shake before pushing it towards Lexa, “Did you notice anything when we were fighting?”

Lexa nods. “You’re faster, stronger and… more focused.”

“All thanks to the Red _._ It’s a drug for Reapers to be exactly that – faster, stronger and more focused.”

“So you’re basically Super Agents on the drug?”

“Yeah,” Lincoln nods.

Lexa twirls the bottom in her hand, “What happens when you run out?”

Lincoln shrugs. “This should last me for now. I’m going to try and ween off them, but I can already feel the effects of not having a full tablet a day.”

“How long have you been on it?”

“Since I became a Reaper.”

Lexa lets out another sigh and nods. She pushes the bottle back towards Lincoln and brings her hands to rub her face. “Are you okay?” she asks.

Lincoln lifts up both of his hands up mid-air and nods. “For now, but earlier my hands were shaky and I had a pretty bad headache too.”

Lexa realises that this was probably the reason why there was such a shift in Lincoln’s attitude. If he’s been dependent on the drug for this long, any change to his dosage would have an imminent effect. “We’ll figure something out for you,” Lexa whispers. “Just let me know if it gets any worse.”

Lincoln nods. “So what do we do now?”

Lexa shrugs. And she laughs, despite it being not a funny situation she can’t help herself. She suddenly feels way out of her depth because now she had five boxes to destroy. “We come up with a plan?” she suggests.

“What have you been doing for the last four years then?!”

“We only thought it was one box, Lincoln!” Lexa starts to make her way towards her computer as a notification pops up. “We planned for one box, not six. So that’s our next move, to make a plan.” She hated not having a plan, going in blind was never a good tactic and when there is so much at stake, they couldn’t afford to not know what they were doing.

Lexa opens the notification – it’s a message from Octavia.

[command] open connection 55.122.09.390

[x057]  
Word is that Jaha has put most  
operations on hold. You are level  
1 priority now, sensei. Everyone  
here is on edge. Good job.

[x138]  
We still have five boxes to find   
before we can bring them down.

[x057]  
Guess I’m in here for a little longer  
than planned, huh?

[x138]  
Unfortunately. You going to be  
okay in there?

[x057]  
Don’t worry about me. I can handle  
myself. I had a good teacher.

[x057]  
Got to go. Good luck.

[x057] has left.

Lexa closes the monitor and turns back to Lincoln whose walking towards her.

“Who was that?” Lincoln asks.

“The Ark has put operations on hold. We have some time to figure out a plan,” Lexa says instead of answering his question.

Lincoln nods. “So you have someone on the inside? Nice.”

“Not nice,” Lexa corrects. “Now that there are five more boxes than we initially planned for, they’re going to have to stay in longer than intended.”

“Good thing you have me then,” Lincoln smiles.

“Yeah, we’ll see.”

 

* * *

 

“Fucking Lexa!” Raven grunts as she slams her beer onto the table.

Clarke just nods and runs her fingertip along the top of her beer bottle. She and Raven were at Joe’s bar, drinking to forget the shit storm that they were in and the one that soon inevitably hit them. They weren’t alone, Anya was off playing pool with Roan and Indra was sitting up at the bar with another agent.

“Why did she have to come back?” Raven asks. “Couldn’t she just stay ‘dead’?”

Clarke brings the bottle to her lips and takes a small sip. She hums in response, but doesn’t say anything. In her mind she’s just replaying her choice to let Lexa go over and over again. She hated that Lexa still has this effect over her. Clarke was one of the top agents and she went against direct orders all because… well, she doesn’t even know why she did it.

The two of them go silent for a while. They continue drinking their beers and snacking on the peanuts at the table. Occasionally they turn their attention to the TV which was playing a basketball game, but it never held their interest for longer than a couple of minutes. 

“How’s Anya doing?” Clarke asks Raven.

Raven just sighs a little. “She’s… I don’t know. Every time I bring it up she just changes the subject.”

“Maybe she’s just not ready to talk about it?” Clarke offers. She knew how close Anya and Lexa use to be. Anya was Lexa’s mentor and once Lexa graduated to field agent – the two of them were a power team. They had relationship that just worked so well on and off the field. Clarke’s relationship with Anya was a little different. They worked well together and didn’t mind each other’s company when they were off duty – but they never talked about ‘personal’ issues to each other.

“Maybe,” Raven shrugs. “She’s building up her walls again, and I hate it. I know how much Lexa meant to her and I’m scared Anya thinks she failed as a mentor or something." She pauses to take a sip of another drink. "Roan said that Bellamy made a comment earlier.”

“Bellamy’s an idiot,” Clarke replies. “Everyone knows that Anya was a great mentor to Lexa. The two of them ended up being like the Meredith and Cristina of our world.”

Raven lets out a small laugh and nods.

Clarke smiles. “And how are you doing?”

Raven raises and eyebrow and brings the beer to her lips again. “Is that really a question you need to ask _me?_ Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”

Clarke shakes her head. “We were all friends at one point.”

“I’m…” Raven trails off. “I don’t know either. I can’t even begin to imagine what Lexa’s thinking. I don’t know how she’s going through all of this – she’s bringing a war against us, people she once considered friends. And we have to fight someone we once considered our friend.”

“It’s bigger than our relationship with her, Raven.” Clarke sighs. “She wants to bring down Jaha and The Ark.”

“Is that what she told you at the party?”

Clarke nods.

Raven lifts up her beer and points it towards, “And how are _you_ doing with all of this?”

Clarke just shrugs her shoulders and makes some vague hand gestures.

“Clarke,” Raven sighs. “You know you can talk to me, right?”

Clarke smiles. “I know.” And she did. Raven was her best friend. When they’re on duty, the butt heads a lot but they were able to easily separate their “work life” from their personal. “It’s just… it’s just so hard to comprehend the fact that she isn’t actually dead. For the past four years we thought she was dead… we went to her funeral… we… and she…. she just comes back and basically declares a war against The Ark.”

Raven nods and just waits for Clarke to continue.

“I’m just so confused,” Clarke continues.

“You guys were in love – I get it.”

Clarke nods. “Part of me hates her, not for waging this war but for leaving the way she did. She made us believe she was dead.”

“And the other part?” Raven asks.

Clarke sighs and drops her shoulders slightly. “Part of me wants to go up to her and tell her to come…”

“Home?” Raven offers.

“Yeah,” Clarke whispers. “Wherever that is.”

“It’s with you.”

Clarke shakes head, “Not anymore.” She brings the beer bottle to her lips and takes another sip. “I lied earlier in the operations room when I said Lexa got away from me in the alley.”

“What?” Raven asks in a harsh, but soft voice.

“I had the upper hand. She was unarmed and I could have brought her in or I could have taken the shot…” she trails off, letting Raven connect the dots together.

“But you let her go…” It’s half statement, half question.

Clarke confirms with a small nod.

“Oh Griffin…” Raven whispers.

“Please don’t tell anyone.”

Raven shakes her head, “You know I won’t.” She watches as Clarke drops her head into her hands. “What are you going to do?”

“I have no idea.”


	5. graduation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fast forward two months, the ark is ready to resume "normal" operations. the first thing on their agenda? promoting a recruit to field agent, or as they like to call it, _graduation_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you're well! happy reading

As Jaha gives the orders to pull operations for the time being, it becomes relatively quiet at The Ark. Only a few missions are accepted – at very careful consideration because he's determined to contain the Lexa situation as much as possible. He works with Alie, Kane and other trusted parties to increase the security around the black boxes.

So during this time, Octavia keeps her head down and continues to learn (or relearns) how to become a good agent. Occasionally she slips into rooms she’s not supposed to be in (and passes on whatever information she can get to Lexa), she studies her peers and superiors and remembers what Lexa has taught her. Despite things slowing down at The Ark, she still had her role to play. And nothing brings her more joy to hear that Lexa has intercepted one of The Ark’s missions and disrupted the whole process.

She progressively “improves” her abilities – which gain quite a lot of compliments from senior agents. In her spare time, she provides extra training for Aden – the young recruit she’s grown to admire quite a lot and also helps Jasper keep up in class. She hates to admit it but she’s definitely formed a few friendships with the other recruits.

Her relationship with her brother is more of less the same. Bellamy lets her do her own thing – only coming up to her only once in a while. And Octavia can hold a conversation with him for longer than five minutes without feeling the need to walk away. As long as they’re not talking about their past, it’s (kind of) alright.

 

* * *

 

September 2012

_It takes another two weeks for Octavia to believe Lexa’s story. Lexa tells her more stories, shows her more videos and backs what she says with real world events that were actually cover-ups for The Ark. The more Octavia learns about the organisation, the more she gets mad. She’s mad that Bellamy could join such a group and do the things that they do._

_So Octavia says yes to helping for two reasons._

  1. _The Ark needed to be stopped._
  2. _She needed to get her brother out._



_* * *_

_“So recruits are brought in and trained to become the strongest, quickest, most ruthless agents,” Lexa says._

_“You mean assassins,” Octavia replies._

_Lexa lets out a deep sigh. “I’m going to train you like they will train you. It’s going to be long and tough and you will hate me during our sessions.”_

_“Okay.”_

_“No, I need to make sure you’re ready because infiltrating The Ark is not going to be easy. It’s going to take a lot, physically, mentally, emotionally.”_

_“Are you trying to psych me out or something? I can do this,” Octavia nods. “Just tell me what I need to do.”_

_Lexa pauses and watches Octavia. The younger woman sits up straight and listens with her whole body. She looks focused and ready – but they haven’t started their training. “I’m trying to make sure you understand what you’re getting yourself in to.”_

_“So I’m going in as a recruit…” Octavia trails off, trying to move the conversation forward. “Field agent is the next level, right? How does a recruit get to become an agent?”_

_“Hopefully it won’t have to come to that,” Lexa says. “But for a recruit to become a field agent, they get given a ‘Graduation mission’ which is... it's a kill mission.”_

_Octavia gulps. “Kill mission?”_

_“Yes,” Lexa nods. "Can't expect to become a good assassin without the ability to kill people, right?"_

_“Yeah, hopefully it doesn’t come to that,” Octavia replies._

_* * *_

_“I know how to fight,” Octavia says as she tries and swings at Lexa._

_But Lexa sees the move coming even before Octavia knew she was going to make it. She dodges it easily and holds up her fists ready to block again. “I don’t doubt that, but you need to learn how to fight **smart**.” Lexa decides to go on the attack and manages to have Octavia on her knees in a matter of second. _

_Octavia grunts and gets up, trying to bring Lexa down in the process. But it’s no use because Lexa gets her in a choke hold, causing Octavia to tap out of the round._

_Lexa releases the younger woman. She walks over to the fridge, grabs two bottles of water and returns back to Octavia. “You still have a lot to learn,” she says as she throws one of the bottles to Octavia._

_* * *_

_Surprisingly, handling weapons comes very naturally to Octavia. Assembling and disassembling guns is easy enough that Lexa doesn’t have to dwell too much into it. And Octavia has a good eye, which makes her a very good shot._

_* * *_

_“Your name?” Lexa asks._

_Octavia takes a moment. “Okt-ay-via.”_

_“Okt- **ei** -via.”_

_“Does it really matter?”_

_Lexa nods. “It does. What’s the point in learning the wrong pronunciation of a word? Translate ‘quiet.’”_

_“Shof-op…” Octavia answers, unsure._

_Lexa nods. “Finished?”_

_“Odon.”_

_"Blood.”_

_“Jus.”_

_“Prisoner.”_

_“Honen?”_

_“Ho-non,” Lexa corrects._

_“Honon,” Octavia repeats._

_“Count to twenty.”_

_“Won, Tu, Thri, Fou, Fai, Sis, San–”_

_“Sen,” Lexa corrects again._

_"Sen, Eit, Nain, Ten, Len, Twel, Thot… Thotin, Fotin, Fiftin, Sistin, Sentin, Eitin, Naitin, Tweni.”_

_Lexa nods approvingly. “Now what’s the passage for an ally?”_

_“Why do you guys need your own language?” Octavia asks, raising an eyebrow._

_“It’s helpful out on the field.” Lexa pauses. “Now again, what’s the passage?”_

_Octavia takes a deep breath in. “Ai like–”_

_“–La-ik,” Lexa cuts in._

_“Ai laik,” Octavia repeats, “Oketevia kom Heda kru. Oso throu… da– daun or–”_

_“–Ogeda,” Lexa finishes. “Again.”_

_Octavia clears her throat. “Ai… laik Oketevia kom Heda kru. Oso throu daun… ogeda.”_

_“Under no circumstances are you to say this passage to anyone,” Lexa says. “If someone says that I’ve sent them to help then then ask for the passage – that’s how you know you can trust them.”_

_Octavia nods._

_“Translate the passage.”_

_“I am Octavia of the Commander’s people. We fight together.”_

_* * *_

_The IT component of their training is probably the hardest part of it all. Octavia has never really been one to enjoy computers or coding or anything in the realm of electronics – but if she was going to be able to take down The Ark from the inside she needed a good grasp on everything._

_She types until her fingers are sore and until her eyes can barely stay open._

_Lexa has her memories different codes and functions every day, up until the point Octavia starts to dream about them in her sleep._

_* * *_

_Octavia presses her fingers at either side of her temple, watching as Lexa taps her fingers on the table in front of her. When Lexa stops tapping Octavia lets out a small sigh, “Stray?”_

_Lexa sighs as well and shakes her, “Stairs.”_

_Octavia throws her hands up as if she was giving up. “I’m never going to get this. Why do I even need to learn tap code?”_

_“Because, you might not be able to say what you want to say out loud.”_

_“I’m already learning Trig! Isn’t that enough?”_

_“No,” Lexa replies sternly. “All agents know Trig – what if you don’t want one agent to know what you’re saying?”_

_“I’m never going to get it.”_

_Lexa shakes her head, “You will,” she reassures. “Again.”_

_Octavia nods and watches as Lexa starts to tap her fingers on the table again._

_* * *_

_It was another one of their fighting sessions and Octavia finally has gotten the upper hand. She’s on the attack and it seems like Lexa is about to lose her footing. Octavia gives a good hit with her baton towards Lexa’s shoulder but it falls short as Lexa blocks the move._

_“Almost,” Lexa snickers. She takes a few steps back and smirks, “You’re getting better.”_

_Octavia sighs and takes just a second before composing herself. Lexa has taught her a lot of over the last few months, so she studies her opponent, trying to decide on her next move. Octavia steps forward and throws both her batons away which definitely surprises Lexa._

_It’s a hand on hand combat now as Octavia knocks Lexa to the ground._

_But with Lexa being a trained assassin, she’s back up on her feet moments later, swinging her legs so that they bring Octavia to the ground. “Close,” Lexa smiles. She stands up straight and lifts her foot up, “MOVE!” she yells, before stomping her foot down. Thankfully Octavia gets the message and rolls away in time._

_“MOVE!” Lexa calls out again, urging Octavia to roll further away._

_“MOVE!”_

_“MOVE!”_

_“MOVE!”_

**Present day**

“MOVE!” Anya calls out, stomping her foot on the ground

Octavia rolls away with a small sigh.

“MOVE!”

"MOVE!"

“MO–”

Octavia doesn’t let Anya yell it out again because she manages to knock the older agent to the ground in one swift motion. But Anya being Anya doesn’t stay down for longer than a second and manages to gain the upper hand back almost instantly – all the while Octavia is still lying on the floor.

With one foot on Octavia’s arm, Anya nods with a small smile. “Nice.”

“Thanks?”

Anya nods a little and lifts her foot off of Octavia. She offers her hand up to help the recruit back to her feet. “You’ve improved a lot these past two months.”

“I’ve had a good teacher,” Octavia replies.

“Maybe,” Anya says, seemingly unfazed by the compliment. “It takes real work a dedication to come as far as you have in such a short amount of time.”

Octavia shrugs a little, “There isn’t much else to do here.” She grabs a towel and wipes the sweat from the forehead, “Where do you want me next?”

There was still twenty minutes of this session left but Anya figures Octavia could have an early mark. “You’re free to leave. It’s been a while since a recruit has knocked me to the ground.”

Octavia smiles and makes her way towards the treadmills anyways. She hops and starts at a slow, walking pace. She watches as Anya gives her a questioning look before walking over.

“You still want to train?” Anya asks.

“There’s only twenty minutes left and I’m helping Aden after this class. Might as well start warming up for that.”

Anya raises an eyebrow, “Why are you helping him?”

“I don’t know,” Octavia shrugs. And she really didn’t. The last thing she expected was for help another recruit while she was in here, but Aden helped her stay sane in this place. He was funny and very smart, determined, a good student and sometimes a little annoying. But she didn’t mind, he was kind of like a kid brother at this point and she had a strong urge to protect him the only way she knew how.

 

* * *

 

On Lexa’s side of things, it’s been very busy. Whenever Octavia sent through a solid lead on a new mission, Lexa and Lincoln got straight to work on how they could disrupt The Ark as much as possible. They were successful most of the time, and fortunately were able to get away by all counts so far.

Though Lexa does trust Lincoln at this point – she still hasn’t met Luna or gotten her black box. Lincoln tells her to stay calm and to trust him for now. Luna was off and gathering intel on the other Reapers and once she had enough she was going to come back and help them. That makes Lexa uneasy because she didn’t really know Luna, but what else can she do at this point?

It’s been a little over two months since Lexa came back from the dead. Knowing that there are still five boxes, still has her feeling as if she’s a little out of her depth. This wasn’t your single go in and go out mission. It was the be all of end all missions and it was going to take as long as it was going to take.

 

* * *

 

Clarke makes her way towards room 1A where she’s been called into a meeting. When she opens the door she sees Anya, Raven, Roan, Indra, Sinclair and Monty there and her gut sinks. This group of agents all together for a meeting meant on only thing: it was time for a recruit to graduate. She sighs and takes her seat and her assumptions are correct when Jaha, Alie and Kane walk through the door moments later.

Jaha takes his seat at the head of the table. “We’ve been quiet for long enough. We are ready to resume operations starting with a recruit’s graduation.”

Clarke speaks up immediately. “None of them are ready for graduation! Not to the standard that will be needed to beat Lexa if they ever run in to her.”

Jaha shakes his head. “Lexa won’t be going for the little ones. She’s after the boxes.”

“And we’ve come up with a solid plan to enhance the security around the boxes,” Alie adds. “We’ll be calling Reapers one at a time starting next week.”

“But that is not the conversation of this meeting,” Jaha says. “We have a simple kill mission for Friday. Now we just need a recruit to graduate.”

Clarke scoffs at Jaha’s use of the phrase, ‘simple kill mission.’ A kill mission was never simple. Maybe to him but not to the recruit that would have to pull the trigger. Since it’s been relatively quiet over the past two months she has spent a lot more time with the recruits than she usually would. She stands in on their training, subs in various classes and has weekly chats with them. And in her personal and professional opinion, none of them are ready to become an agent.

“Are we really going to ignore the fact that Lexa is still out there?” Clarke asks.

Jaha shakes her head again. “You know how this works, Clarke. Your word is important because you know the recruits best. But the fact is, we need more agents out on the field. So we’re going to be graduating a recruit every two weeks until further notice.”

Clarke sighs. “You’re going to be sending them to their deaths.”

Jaha motions is hand around the table, towards the other agents. “Are you really doubting your fellow agents on their ability to train the recruits.”

“No,” Clarke replies without missing a beat. She looks around the table and sees her fellow agents looking back at her, reassuring her that they knew she did not mean it like that. Clarke trusted these people with her life, they were her people. “I’m saying that these recruits are not ready for what Lexa is going to be bringing against us.”

Jaha ignores Clarke reply and turns to Anya. “Agent Carson, who is your suggestion for field agent?”

Clarke watches as Anya turns towards her. With her eyes, she is pleading for Anya not to say anything but the moment her leader turns back to Jaha – she knows that it doesn’t work.

“Octavia Blake,” Anya answers.

“She’s one of the last people you should be suggesting!” Clarke yells. “She’s been here for only two months!”

“You and I both know that time is not something that needs to be considered,” Anya says.

“Anya’s right,” Roan nods. “Blake has pushed herself up to the top of class in just two months. She has what it takes to be an agent.”

Jaha smiles as he looks to Clarke. He then turns towards Monty. “What do you think about recruit Blake?”

Monty flicks his gaze over to Clarke momentarily, silently apologising before continuing. “She still has some work to do tech wise but I’m confident that she’ll get there sooner rather than later.”

“That’s good to hear,” Jaha replies.

“Not good!” Clarke argues. “She needs to be there _now!_ She can’t be half ready when we send her out in the field.”

Alie tuts a little. “So we don’t specialise her in computers. She’s definitely more active agent than a behind the scenes one.

“Sinclair, how is she going with weapons?” Jaha asks.

Sinclair nods in agreement with what’s being said about the young recruit. “She can easily run circles around some of the field agents now, sir.”

Jaha then turns to Indra.

Indra looks around the table. “I don’t have to say it do I?” When she gets no response from the people around the table she sighs a little. “She reminds you of a certain agent doesn’t she? The drive, the determination, the skill... It’s all there.”

Clarke’s mind immediately falls to Lexa. And as she looks around the table she knows everyone else is thinking the same thing. She couldn’t deny it now, she definitely saw a lot of Lexa in Octavia and that was a little scary.

Jaha looks to Raven, “Reyes, would you trust Blake out in the field to have your back?”

Raven swallows the lump in her throat because her answer was not going to be one Clarke liked. But this was work and Clarke had to know that. “Yes, sir. Like Indra said, Octavia has the drive and determination. She is always focused and has shown herself to be a team player. Have you seen her help Aden and Jasper in her spare time?” Jaha nods. “Sure recruits in the past have helped each other, but Octavia is… different. She’s gone well out of the way to help them keep up with their training.”

Jaha then turns to Clarke and raises his eyebrow. “Are you going to tell me that all these people are wrong about Octavia?”

Clarke runs her hands down her face. “I’m telling you, she is not ready. I am not going to deny that she hasn’t exceeded expectations these past two months because she has. But if we’re just talking graduation, she will not pass because she will not be able to pull the trigger.”

The table goes silent. Clarke is just about to argue some more before Anya beats her to it.

“She will be ready,” Anya says to Jaha. “I will make sure of it.”

Jaha smiles and nods. “Then that’s it. Call Blake in and tell her the news.” He grabs the file from the side of the desk and starts to pass them around, “This is Operation Pitt. Read it and be ready for tomorrow’s briefing.” He looks between Anya and Clarke one last time, “Make sure she’s ready.”

Clarke grabs her file and rushes out of the room. She wants a moment to herself but unfortunately she doesn’t get it. Not a couple of seconds later she feels Anya catching up to her and pulling her aside into an empty meeting room.

“What’s your problem?” Anya asks.

Clarke scoffs. “Do you really have to ask that?” She sighs, “We’re going to be sending Octavia to her death.”

“Do you have that little faith in her?”

Clarke shakes her head. “We both know that there is no room for faith during a mission. It’s either do or die.”

“And Octavia will _do_ ,” Anya defends. “Look, if I was to take a recruit on a mission, it would be her. Harper and Monroe are good but not as quick as they need to be. Ontari needs to be taken down a notch, she’s not even an agent yet but she still struts around like she is. Murphy is oddly very committed but a little everywhere. We all know Aden will end up being Monty junior or something and don’t even get me started about Jasper.”

“This isn’t right.” Clarke shakes her head.

“When has anything we’ve ever done been right, Clarke?”

 

 

After a couple more minutes to talking and (kind of) hashing things out, Anya and Clarke make their way to tell Octavia about her graduation. The recruits were currently sitting a class about explosives with Adam as the teacher.

Adam smiles as they enter the room. “Agent Griffin, Agent Carson, can I help you with something?”

“We need Blake,” Anya says.

Octavia turns around in her chair, confused.

“Can it wait?” Adam asks. “This is an important class.”

“She’s been activated for an op,” Clarke reveals.

Ontari stands up from her chair, “WHAT?! She’s been here two months!”

Anya walks over to Ontari. “Sit down, _recruit_.”

Octavia stands up slowly because she’s sure her knees are going to give way at any moment. She’s been activated for an op which meant she was graduating. As she walks towards Clarke and Anya she manages to return the small hi-five both Jasper and Murphy offer.

Once Octavia is by her side, Clarke walks her towards the empty cafeteria with Anya right on their tail. They take a seat at one of the tables. Clarke sits next to Anya with Octavia across from them.

“I’ve been activated for an op?” Octavia asks.

Clarke nods. She slides over the file in her hands, “This is your graduation mission,” she says. “Read the file and we have a briefing at noon tomorrow. I’ll be in early to go over any questions you want to ask.”

Octavia nods. “Can I ask something now?”

Clarke nods.

“Why me?”

“Why do you doubt yourself?” Anya replies instead.

“I don’t,” Octavia argues. “But I’ve been here the shortest amount of time. There’s bound to be recruits more prepared for this than I am.”

“There aren’t,” Anya says.

Clarke nods reluctantly. She might not agree with Octavia being chosen for the promotion, if she _had_ to choose one of the recruits – it would be her. “You’ve proved yourself to be a worthy agent in just two months,” Clarke praises.

Anya leans forward across the table. “You do this _successfully_ and you take the title of quickest recruit to become a field agent.”

“Who holds the title currently?” Octavia asks. Obviously she knew the answer already but just wanted to see if they would tell her.

“Lexa,” Anya answers. “From what I remember she graduated in less than a year but definitely not two months.”

“These are extreme circumstances though,” Clarke adds. “With Lexa out there–”

“Don’t burst her bubble, Griffin.”

Octavia sighs. “So let me get this straight, The Ark needs more agents and I’m the best of the lot?”

Both Anya and Clarke nod. “You do know what a graduation mission entails, right?” Anya asks.

Now it was Octavia’s turn to nod. “It’s a kill mission.”

Clarke points to the file in front of Octavia. “Read the file, study it. It’s important that you know _everything_ about this mission.”

Anya’s phone starts to ring, “Welcome to the big leagues, recruit,” she says before going off and answering the call.

Octavia studies Clarke for a moment and she can tell that her superior is not happy about this. Not that there was anything to be happy about when it came down to a kill mission – but Clarke was… not her usual self in this moment. In the past two months they have gotten a little closer, with Octavia definitely seeing the good in the woman (despite the world that they lived in).

“Any questions?” Clarke asks.

“Do _you_ think I’m ready for this?”

Clarke doesn’t answer immediately. She knew she should say yes and reassure her recruit that she could do this, but she can’t. She shakes her head. “I was out-voted.”

Octavia raises her eyebrow. “Shouldn’t your say have more weight over the other’s? You are Head of Recruits after all.”

“Maybe,” Clarke shrugs. “I don’t doubt your abilities, Octavia. It’s just…”

“Lexa?” Octavia asks.

Clarke nods. She looks down to her hands and gives them a slight rub. “Lexa was recruited back in…. 2007. She went through the same program you’ve been doing for the last two months… she graduated and quickly became one of the best agents The Ark has ever seen.”

“Why is she so hell bent on bringing this place down?”

“We aren’t exactly the good guys,” Clarke whispers. She takes a deep breath in – then out. “You’ll quickly realise that our job is to bring down one evil so another evil can take its place.”

Octavia tilts her head slightly. “Why do we do it then?”

“As you so eloquently put it, it’s comply or die for the most of us.”

“So… Lexa just had enough? Faked her death and came back for… revenge?”

Clarke shrugs. “The Lexa I knew died four years ago.”

 

* * *

 

[command] open connection 55.122.09.390

[x057]  
I’ve been activated for an op.

Lexa reads the message over and over again. Slowly, she can feel her blood start to boil. When they thought that there was only one box to destroy they didn’t think Octavia would have to stay in The Ark long enough to be even considered for graduation. But here she was, two months in and given her graduation date.

“What’s wrong?” Lincoln asks.

Lexa lifts her finger towards him, silently asking for just a moment. She reads the message again and lets out a small sigh. She types her response.

[x138]  
Don’t worry. I will be there.  
What can you tell me about op?

[x057]  
New drug lord imposing on Ark  
territory. I’m supposed to take out  
Amy Tanner this Friday at her a  
party. No address yet.

[x138]  
That’s okay. I can get the address.

[x057]  
I don’t know if I can do this.

[x138]  
You won’t need to do anything.  
I’ll be there. Just go through the  
briefing and meetings like normal.

[x138]  
I won’t let anything happen to you.

[x057]  
Okay. Got to go.

[x057] has left.

Lexa logs out as well and turns back to face Lincoln, who is still staring at her questioningly. “How do you feel about crashing a graduation party?”

“What?”

“My recruit was activated for a mission,” Lexa sighs.

Lincoln raises an eyebrow. “Your inside man is just a recruit?”

“A recruit I trained for four years,” Lexa defends.

“Ah,” Lincoln nods. “I’m guessing they went in the same time you came back from the dead?” Lexa nods. “They’re going to take your title of fastest recruit to graduate.”

Lexa laughs a little. “I guess she is.”

“So your recruit is a woman?” Lincoln asks.

Lexa nods.

“Where’s the mission taking place?”

Lexa turns back to her computers and starts to do some research on the name Octavia had given her moments earlier. “Some party this Friday.”

“Target?”

“Amy Tanner,” Lexa replies. “Apparently she’s a new drug lord moving in on Ark territory.”

“I know who she is.”

Lexa turns back in her chair. “Really?”

Lincoln nods. “She’s a big name back in my city. She’s the carrier of X-01.”

“No…” Lexa sighs.

Lincoln nods again, his face softening completely. X-01 was a new and almost lethal drug on the markets. If Amy Tanner was in town the drug definitely was here too. Lincoln stands up and moves towards Lexa, pointing to computer and asking if he could pull up some files.

Lexa nods and stands up to let Lincoln take a seat. She watches as he pulls up a few police reports and news articles and her heart drops.

_NEW DRUG, X-01 KILLS 3 PEOPLE AT RAVE_

_X-01 OFFICALLY “THE WORST” DRUG_

_X-01 CLAIMS ANOTHER TEN LIVES_

_DRIVER OF HORRIFIC CRASH, KILLING 8, WAS ON X-01_

Lincoln leans back in his seat, “She’s not a good person, Lexa.”

“Are they ever?”

"It wouldn’t be the worst thing for your recruit to fulfil the mission…” Lincoln replies.

“She’s never taken a life though.” There’s a pause between them, their eyes still fixated on the monitors as they read through the files on the screen. "She was never meant to be in there this long. I didn't even think it was a possibility for her to be considered for graduation."

Lincoln nods. "Look, I get it," he replies. "But you've been training her for the past four years. She's infiltrated The Ark and managed to still remain undercover. I might not know who she is but she's obviously good and can hold her own."

"She can. But we never talked about killing anyone during our training." Lexa pauses. "I didn't teach her about what killing someone does to you."

"That's not something to be taught, Lexa..." he trails off. "It's..."

"-Yeah I know," Lexa cuts in. Another silence falls between them as she tries to figure out her next move from here. 

“I'm in," Lincoln whispers. "We'll go to your recruit's graduation.”

“ _Did someone say graduation?”_

At the sound of the third voice, both Lincoln and Lexa pull out their weapons and turn around, aiming their guns at the intruder.

“Fucking hell, _Luna_ ,” Lincoln sighs as he puts his gun away.

But Lexa doesn’t budge. “How did you know where to find us?” she asks.

Luna lifts up both hands, “Does it really matter? Now… did you say we’re crashing a graduation ceremony?”

Lexa takes a few steps forward, until the tip of her gun is pressed against Luna’s chest. “I have no reason to trust you.”

Luna looks over to Lincoln, “I told you I was coming back.”

“That was two months ago!” Lincoln replies. “You went dark for two months.”

Luna looks back to Lexa, “And for good reason.”

Lexa shakes her head. “I’m not messing around, Luna. Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t shoot you right here and now.”

“Take the weapon from my belt,” Luna instructs. “I have a knife in my boot as well.”

“Lincoln,” Lexa calls out.

Lincoln steps towards Luna and unarms her.

“In my bag is the black box,” Luna says.

Lincoln reaches into her bag and true enough, he finds the black box and hands it over to Lexa.

Lexa takes the box but doesn’t retreat her gun yet. She and Luna have a history and it wasn’t exactly a good one. They were basically rivals as recruits and agents.

“I’m not the enemy,” Luna tries to argue.

“You broke my nose in The Ark,” Lexa replies. It had no relevance to the conversation and it just kind of slips out – but Luna always had an uneasy effect on her.

“That was one time.”

There’s a pause and Lexa tries to decide on her next move.

“I have information on the next Reaper set to come in,” Luna says. “So if you would so kindly put the gun down, I’ll tell you all about it.”

Lexa takes a couple of deep breaths. Without warning, she throws the black box to an empty side of the room, walks over and fires a few rounds into the thing. She’ll destroy it completely later – but for now she wanted to hear about the next Reaper. She heads back towards Luna, “Tell me what you know.”

“He’s name is Owen and he’s from the UK. He’s flying in at the end of next week but I wasn’t able to find a pinpoint a location yet.”

“How do you know this?” Lexa asks.

“He did the same things I did when I was called into The Ark; leave my apartment, close the black box account at the bank and go dark.”

Lincoln nods. “Sounds about right.”

Lexa lets out another deep sigh. “Okay.”

“So what’s this about a graduation party I hear?” Luna asks.

 

* * *

 

 

Octavia spends the next couple of days preparing for her mission. She studies the file inside out, making sure she knew everything. Lexa gives her a few tips and reassures her time and time again that she will not actually not have to do anything but Octavia knew better than that. Things rarely ever went to plan and she’s trying to prepare for every possible outcome.

She sits on various meetings and briefings. She listens as her superiors discuss tactics, strategies and what the actual night will entail. This is new territory for her, the overall plan did not involve Octavia graduating from being a recruit. So she keeps her head down, talks only when spoken to and does her best to remain focused.

Octavia’s job was to lure Amy away from the crowd, saying that she had some information on “The Pitt” and then kill her. “Simple enough,” Jaha tells her. But she internally scoffs at that response because how could taking a life ever be “simple”?

She works harder and trains faster, she does everything she can in order to be prepared for the mission. Most of the other recruits think that she’s a legend for being activated for an op just two months into her training, but that just adds an abundance of unneeded pressure. She's meant to keep a low profile, but now here she was, with the whole organisation looking at her.

 

* * *

 

It’s the night of the party and Octavia sits in the back of the hummer with Clarke by her side. Her breathing is rapid and her leg shakes up and down in the seat. She’s nervous as hell and finds herself doubting everything about herself.

“You’re going to be okay,” Clarke whispers.

“That’s easy for you to say,” Octavia replies. “This isn’t _your_ graduation.”

Clarke lets out a small sigh but doesn’t say anything else. After all these years and number of recruits she’s had to graduate – she knew that there wasn’t much that could be said to a nervous recruit who to ease them. Instead she takes out a gun from its case and silencer, passing it along to Octavia.

Octavia takes both pieces and hikes up her dress just slightly. She slides both pieces into her garter gun holster and covers it back up with her dress. She looks over to Clarke, whose looking down at her watch. “That’s a nice watch.”

Clarke smiles. “It was my dad’s.”

There’s a small pang in Octavia’s chest as she sees Clarke’s face fall slightly. She knew the story behind the watch and she knew about Jake Griffin. It was one of the things about this whole situation that she found herself emotional over. 

“We’ll be there in about 10 minutes,” Clarke says. “You ready?”

Octavia nods. “As I’ll ever be.”

 

* * *

 

With every minute that passes at the party, Octavia grows a little more nervous. Lexa told her that she’ll be here but Octavia doesn’t know when, or where, or how her mentor is going to show up. She’s done a couple of laps of the party – scoping out the place and her target. Amy Tanner has a security detail around her so Octavia needs to be smart about when she's going to make her move.

Octavia stands at the bar and looks out into the crowd. She spots Clarke and Anya making small talk with a few people, a few agents are disguised as wait staff and Jaha's also talking to someone who presumably is important. She gives a small smile as Raven approaches her.

“It’s okay to be nervous.”

Octavia grits her teeth slightly. “Not exactly a good quality of an agent though.”

“Arguable,” Raven shrugs. “If you’re nervous you’ll be more alert, more focused to get things right.”

“If I’m nervous I have a bigger chance of fucking up,” Octavia argues.

“Are you trying to psych yourself out?”

Octavia tries to take a sip of her drink. “I’m being realistic.”

“I threw up mid-mission during my graduation,” Raven reveals.

Octavia almost choke son her drink.

Raven just laughs and nods. “Yeah, it wasn’t pretty. But I guess what I’m trying to say is that it’s normal to feel whatever you’re feeling right now.”

“Was your graduation your first kill?”

Raven nods slightly and takes a sip of her drink.

“What’s it like?” Octavia asks quietly.

“I–”

The conversation is interrupted as Anya approaches their conversation. “Blake, you’re up. Amy’s security detail is going to rotate any minute so this is your window.”

Octavia nods and downs the rest of her drink. There's still no sign of Lexa but there isn't anything she could do now. She has to fulfil this mission. Octavia heads in the direction of Amy and fortunately manages to start a conversation with the woman. And within minutes she drops the fact that she knows about “The Pitt” and Amy is hooked – taking Octavia away from the main crowd and somewhere more private.

 

* * *

 

Lexa, Lincoln and Luna make it onto the property of the party. Given that they weren’t exactly invited they had to find another way in – which took a little longer than expected. They’re just in the gardens and the mansion (where the party is being held) is in sight. Lexa is uncharacteristically nervous. Octavia is relying on her and now Lexa has no idea where her young recruit is or if she’s already carried out the mission.

Octavia was her own woman who made her own choices. But if anything happens to her, that would be on Lexa. Given that they’ve been working together for the past four years – Octavia was one of the few people Lexa trusted whole heartedly.

As the three of them scout the outside of the gardens to try and find a way in, they unexpectedly run into some Ark agents. Immediately those agents alert their team over the radio.

“Go!” Lincoln yells to Lexa. “We’ll hold them off.”

Lincoln and Luna make their move towards the agents. Lexa runs up to the mansion and pushes against a few doors and windows but they’re all locked. A couple of feet ahead she sees some lights flicker on so she makes her way there. Peeking into the office window, she sees Octavia and she lets out the biggest sigh of relief.

Making sure that Octavia was alone, Lexa taps on the window to grab her attention. The look on Octavia face when she sees her says it all. Octavia is beyond relived that Lexa is there too.

“Oh thank god you’re here,” Octavia whispers as she opens the window.

Lexa slips into the office. “You alright?”

Octavia nods. “You need to hide though. Amy’s going to be back any second.”

Lexa nods and hides behind the bookshelf beside the door. “Sorry I’m late,” she whispers.

Octavia manages a small smile. “Better late than never.”

The door of the office is then being opened and Lexa tries to hide herself a little more. The moment Amy is in the room and Lexa is sure that no one else is entering, she takes out her gun and steps out of her hiding spot. “Stop right there,” Lexa says as she points the gun to Amy’s head.

Amy stills on the spot. “What is this?”

“What are you doing?” Octavia asks.

Lexa gives a hard knock on Amy’s head with the end of the gun, knocking the woman out.

“Lexa!”

Lexa ignores Octavia for the time being and goes to lock the door. She steps back towards Octavia, “You need to become a field agent. It was never the plan, but it’ll be easier this way.”

Octavia shakes her head. “You can’t just kill her though!”

“Do you know who she is?”

“Of course,” Octavia nods. “She’s a drug dealer who’s imposing on The Ark’s territory. But you can’t just kill her for that! I thought we were here to bring down the organisation, not continue to do their dirty jobs!”

“Do you know of the drug X-01?”

“Yes,” Octavia whispers.

Lexa looks down to Amy’s unconscious body then back up to Octavia. “You’re looking at the woman who has introduced the newest lethal drug onto the market. X-01 has killed hundreds of people in different cities and it’s only been a couple of weeks.”

“What about the bigger picture?” Octavia argues.

Lexa sighs. “This is the bigger picture. What would you have us do? Not kill Amy and have you go back to Jaha with an unsuccessful mission? You’ll be floated before you get a chance to plead your case.” She bends down and pulls Amy a little back from where Octavia was standing. “In this space, The Ark is the lesser of the two evils.”

“This isn’t right.”

“It never is.” Lexa puts down Amy’s body and walks back towards Octavia, “Give me your weapon.”

Octavia reluctantly hikes up her dress just enough so that she can take out her gun and silencer. She puts the two pieces together before handing it over. “Maybe if you need me as an agent, I should be the one to do it.”

Lexa shakes her head. “You’ve never taken a life before, Octavia.”

“If I’m staying in The Ark I might have to sooner or later – especially if I’m going to become an agent. I can’t always depend on you to come in and save the day.”

“This was never the plan.”

Octavia lets out a sarcastic laugh. “Aren’t you the one who taught me that plans always change?”

Lexa shakes her and sighs. “We’re not talking about this, anymore. Turn around.”

“You’re just going to kill her like that?” Octavia asks, turning around.

Lexa doesn’t reply though. She moves to stand over Amy’s body and fires one shot, two shots and then a third – all in places where she knows death would be immediate. What Octavia said hits her hard because she was right. Octavia would most likely have to take a life sooner rather than later. But this was not the time to tell her that killing someone takes away a part of you that you can never get back.

She’s just about to let Octavia know that it’s done but then there’s a rustling at the other side of the door. “Shit,” Lexa mutters.

“ _OCTAVIA!”_

Now it was Octavia’s turn to mutter, “Shit.” She turns around and gasps slightly as she sees blood pooling around Amy’s body. “That’s Clarke. You need to go.”

“Hit me,” Lexa says.

“WHAT?!”

“Hit me. I can make sure Clarke thinks you killed Amy.” Lexa stands a little closer, “Hit me and make it look good.”

Octavia hesitates momentarily but the moment she hears Clarke call her name again, she goes for the hit. She swings her right hand and hits Lexa square in the jaw.

Lexa recovers from the hit with a small smile. Despite how long she trained with Octavia, she's forgotten how much of a right hook the young woman has. “Anya’s been refining your technique,” she whispers. “Again.”

Octavia hits Lexa again. “Don’t you need to make it look like you put a fight as well?”

Lexa nods. “Ready?”

Octavia takes a deep breath in and closes her eyes. Moments later she grunts as Lexa’s fist hits her face.  

“Alright,” Lexa whispers. She moves to take Octavia in a headlock from behind. One arm wraps around Octavia’s neck, whilst the other draws out her gun. “Show time,” she whispers.

“ _OCTAVIA!”_

Lexa takes a shot at the door and within a second it’s being opened and Clarke runs through.

“Oct–” Clarke’s words are cut off as she sees the sight before her.

“Well, well, well,” Lexa taunts. “It’s good to see you again Clarke.”

Octavia struggles against Lexa’s hold, grunting and seemingly angry. “Let me go you bitch!”

Clarke raises both hands, “Don’t, Octavia,” she whispers. She looks up to Lexa, “Let her go, she has nothing to do with this.”

Lexa tightens her hold around Octavia. “That’s not very valid considering I just saw this agent here kill the woman on the floor.”

Clarke looks down for the first time and that’s when she sees Amy on the ground, surrounded by blood. She shakes her head and steps closer.

Lexa points the gun to Clarke. “Your weapon. Throw it here.”

Clarke doesn’t fight it and throws her weapon towards Lexa. “Let her go.”

“Or what?”

“She’s just a recruit,” Clarke whispers. “She’s just doing what she’s been told to do. I’m sure you haven’t forgotten what it’s like in The Ark.”

Lexa nods. Tightening her grip around Octavia once again she smirks, “Ah so this was your graduation, kid?”

“Bite me.”

“What’s your name, recruit?” Lexa asks.

“Don’t say anything,” Clarke instructs.

Octavia doesn’t say anything and continues struggle against Lexa’s hold.

“Just let her go,” Clarke pleads again. “Let her go and leave. Or take me. Just… don’t hurt her.”

Lexa points her gun between Octavia and Clarke. “You would really take her spot?”

Clarke nods.

“You haven’t changed a bit, Clarke,” Lexa comments.

Clarke sighs. “Can I say the same about you?”

The question catches Lexa off guard and she doesn’t know how to respond. She slowly starts to walk backwards towards the window she came though. “Give Jaha a message for me.”

“What?” Clarke asks, taking small steps forward.

“Turn around,” Lexa tells Clarke.

“Don’t hurt her.”

Lexa turns off the safety to her gun and points it to Octavia’s temple. “Turn around, Clarke.”

Clarke inhales sharply and does as she’s told. “What’s your message?”

Once Clarke’s back is to her, Lexa lets go of Octavia. "You're going to be alright," she whispers just loud enough for her recruit to hear.

With her gun still pointed to Clarke, Lexa steps through the window and out of the room. “Two down, four to go!” she calls out. Lexa fires a few rounds towards the empty side of the room, causing both Octavia and Clarke to take cover before running off. 


	6. little bird

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> post graduation for octavia, a flashback and moving forward

Octavia sits in medical, keeping herself quiet and small as she can as she tries to figure out her story for the night. So far she’s got that as she was pulling the gun on Amy, Lexa opened the unlocked window and came after her. She fired three rounds into Amy before going to defend herself against Lexa. And just moments later Lexa got the upper hand and that’s when Clarke came in to the room as well.

“How are you doing?” Finn asks as he walks into the room.

Octavia shrugs a little and she’s thankful that he doesn’t push any further.

Finn puts on a new pair of gloves and smiles. “I’m just going to give you a quick check up then you can go. Anything you’re concerned with?”

“Just the bruises on my face,” she answers. Lexa had hit her pretty hard and it was starting to feel quite sore. She is no stranger to being hit, but knew better than to leave it without having it checked out.

Finn steps closer and carefully moves Octavia’s head so he can get a better look. “Is it sore?”

Octavia nods. “A little. It’s going to get worse before it gets better isn’t it?”

“Pain-wise, probably not. But it will go a few shade darker before it gets better.” Finn takes a step back and makes his way to the medicine cabinet, “I can give you something for it though.”

Octavia watches for a couple moments as he looks through his shelves. When he returns he hands her a white plastic tube and tells her to apply the lotion twice a day. He then moves on with the rest of his check-up. It’s silent for a while as Octavia focuses on her breathing and just simply refocuses.

“I know it’s hard, probably impossible,” Finn whispers, “But try not to base your judgement of Lexa on recent events.”

Octavia stops herself from raising her eyebrow too high. “You’re right that is impossible,” she replies instead.

“She was a good agent – probably still is. She’s just chosen her own path, which is more than I can say for any of us still in here.”

“Did you know her well?” Octavia asks.

Finn shakes his head. “She was already an agent when I got assigned doctor to the recruits. But The Ark is small, everyone knows everyone, even if it’s just by name.”

“So what should I think about her?”

“I can’t answer that for you,” Finn replies. “There’s a lot you don’t know about her. A lot that _I_ don’t know about her. You’ve only been here a few months so you might understand a little... but over time, this place takes a lot from you.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…” Finn trails off and comes to a stop as Bellamy knocks at the door. “A conversation for another time,” he smiles.

“Can I come in?” Bellamy asks.

Octavia lets out a small sigh but nods.

Finn finishes his check up and takes off his gloves. “You’re all good for now. If anything starts to hurt just come back, I’ll be here all night.”

“Thanks,” Octavia smiles. She waits until Finn leaves the room and watches as Bellamy steps closer. “If you’re going to baby me you can leave,” she warns.

“I just wanted to see if you’re okay.”

“I am,” Octavia replies simply. She lets out an annoyed sigh as he gives her a look that says that he knows she’s lying. “Look, I completed my mission _and_ Lexa didn’t kill me. I’m pretty sure everyone would call that a successful night.”

Octavia is interrupted again as Clarke is now knocking on the door. But it is a grateful interruption because the last thing she wants to do is talk to her brother about what had happened.

“Bellamy…” Clarke whispers as she walks into the room. “Mind if I talk to Octavia for a moment?”

“Yeah sure,” Bellamy whispers back. He leaves without another word.

Clarke waits until Bellamy leaves the room till she greets Octavia. “I won’t be long. I know you’re tired and probably just want to call it a day.”

“You can say that again,” Octavia sighs.

“We will have to talk about what happened though. Tomorrow.”

Octavia nods. “I know.” She looks up to Clarke and raises and eyebrow, “You’re not going to ask me if I’m okay or not?”

“Do you want me to?” Clarke asks.

“Ah–” Octavia is popular tonight because again, she’s being interrupted by someone who is knocking at the door. But it shouldn’t be a surprise because it’s not every day a recruit goes up against a rogue assassin who’s trying to take down the organisation they’re a part of.

“Recruit Blake, you held yourself well tonight,” Jaha says.

Octavia manages a small smile. “Thank you, sir.”

“I mean it,” he says as he steps further into the room. “I’ll keep this short, but I just wanted to come by and congratulate you.”

“Congratulate me?” Octavia asks, raising an eyebrow.

Jaha steps forward and offers his hand. Octavia takes it despite not really understanding what was going on.

“You’ve graduated. You’re officially a field agent now.”

 

* * *

 

She doesn’t get much sleep that night and it’s not because of what happened during her mission. There was no doubt in her mind that she wouldn’t make it out alive – it was what was going to follow. She has to have her story down to the tee and thankfully she is no stranger to coming up with such cover stories.

Come morning, she finds herself in a post-mission meeting. The first half of the meeting she sits and listens to the other agents debrief on their version of events. The second half is Octavia’s. She is drilled and asked by every agent for every minute detail from when she had Amy in the room to the moment Lexa escaped out the window.

Fortunately, Octavia holds up during the meeting. During her training with Lexa, she was put through relentless mock debriefings and interviews to prepare her for situations just like this. Of course there was no way to be _fully_ prepared, but Octavia manages to convince everyone in the room that she did kill Amy and that at least tried to put up a fight with Lexa.

By the end of the meeting she learns that just in a couple of days she’s going to be allowed out of the facility.

She is now officially an Ark agent.

 

* * *

 

Octavia swings her wooden sparring stick in front of her and smirks as Aden manages to dodge it.

“Everyone’s talking about you, you know,” Aden pants as he continues to block Octavia’s hits.

Octavia brings down the stick in one swift motion but Aden blocks it by holding his own up. “What are they saying?” she asks.

There’s more swinging and clash of the sticks echo through the room. “You know… the usual.”

“Very insightful, Aden.”

Aden lets out a small chuckle and shrugs. “You know how it is in here. Some people think you’re a legend, some don’t buy it, some think that you’re fifteen minutes of fame starts now.”

“And what do you think?” she asks, just curious to see what he says.

There are a few more hits and Aden exposes a small moment Octavia is distracted by some people walking past. He manages to knock the sparring stick out of Octavia’s hand, causing her to gasps slightly. “I think you’re a legend,” he smiles proudly.

“Far from it,” Octavia whispers back.

Aden shakes his head but lets the comment go. “I guess this is it ha?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re a big hot shot agent now, you won’t need to train anymore.”

Octavia smiles. “Maybe, but I’ll still be around to help you.”

“Really?”

“Of course,” Octavia nods. She leans in just slightly, “Don’t tell anyone this, but you’re one of the few people I actually like in here so I’ll definitely be around.” It catches her off guard when Aden hugs her, it’s only for a second and a little tense but it works for them.

 

* * *

 

While things are set in motion to get her life set up on the outside, the next two days are fairly easy on her. She isn’t expected to go anymore classes but that doesn’t stop her. She likes to keep busy because if she’s doing nothing for too long she knows she'll become unfocused. Physical training keeps her mind clear, classes like explosives and mechanics allow her to learn more and computer class give her some time to update Lexa on her situation.

Even through their simple chat conversation, Octavia can tell that Lexa is greatly concerned for her. She does her best to reassure Lexa that she’s fine and that she’ll be out in a couple of days. Octavia has thought it over and over and has come to the conclusion that being a field agent will make it easier for her to help bring down The Ark. Though it was never the plan for her to graduate – it is what it is. At least at field agent level she’ll be more trusted with a greater level of clearance.

 

* * *

 

Octavia sits nervously as she waits for Clarke to finish her meeting. In about ten minutes Clarke was going to be taking her out of The Ark. With the exception of her graduation mission, it’s been two months since she’s seen the outside world and she couldn’t wait. She was mostly excited for some sun. The Ark was an underground facility – and they were given vitamin D tablets to make up for the lack of sunlight.

“ _Nervous_?”

Octavia looks up to see Bellamy standing there. “A little.”

“Mind if I sit?”

Octavia shakes her head.

“What are you going to do first, now that you’re officially an agent?” Bellamy asks.

“I honestly don’t know.” Octavia pauses and sighs. “I wasn’t really doing much before I came here.”

Bellamy nods. “That’s understandable. I remember when I graduated the first thing I did was buy groceries so I could cook some _proper_ food.”

Octavia laughs. “The food here isn’t that bad.”

“ _Now._ But when I was a recruit it was horrible.”

There’s another pause between them. Octavia’s relationship with her brother was… slowly rebuilding. Since she came into The Ark it’s been about just being able to carry on a conversation with him. She knows that if things between them were ever going to be really okay again, that they would need to talk about their past (which they haven’t done so yet). But Octavia isn’t sure that she’s ready for _that_ conversation yet.

“You’re a guard now…” Octavia whispers. “Do you get to go out still?”

Bellamy nods slightly. “Yeah, I’m usually off every second the weekend.”

“Cool. Maybe… maybe we can grab a drink on the outside some time?”

Bellamy smiles, “Yeah, I’d like that.”

“Any advice?” Octavia asks.

“Find something to do while you’re back out there. You don’t know when your next mission is going to be so find something to do,” Bellamy replies. “Keep up with your training, okay? I’ve seen new agents been floated for falling behind.”

Octavia swallows the lump in her throat and nods.

Bellamy leans in slightly closer. “They won’t tell you this but The Ark has a three strike policy – for minor mistakes… whether it be on missions or just in general, they won’t have any problem with making your death look like an accident.” He pauses. “I’m not trying to scare you, I just… I want to make sure you know what’s expected of you.”

Octavia nods. “Thank you,” she whispers.

“And one more thing… Be careful who you form relationships with.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…” Bellamy trails off. “It’s okay to make friends on the outside but if The Ark thinks these friends are becoming a distraction or are getting _too_ close, they won’t have a problem with keeping you in line.”

“Can they do that?”

“They can do whatever they want.” There’s a small pause and Bellamy leans in just a little closer. “That’s what happened to Lexa,” he whispers.

“They killed someone she…”

“Loved,” Bellamy nods. “I’m not saying that’s the only reason why she’s doing this. But this place it…” He gives his eyes a harsh rub, “It takes a lot from a person. No matter how strong someone is or how good of an agent they are, we are still just humans.”

“Are you sure about that?” Octavia asks. Bellamy raises an eyebrow so she continues. “It feels like this place strips people of their humanity.”

Bellamy looks down to his feet, “Yeah maybe for some of us.”

“Bell…” Octavia whispers.

Bellamy manages a small smile and looks back up to Octavia. “You haven’t called me that in a while.”

Octavia smiles as well and lets out a small sigh.

_“Ready to go Octavia?”_

Both Blakes look up to see Clarke standing before them.

Octavia nods and stands up as she grabs her duffel bad.

Bellamy does the same and smiles. “I’ll talk to you soon?” he asks his sister.

“Yeah, soon,” Octavia smiles.

 

* * *

 

“I don’t know what I was expecting… but everything feels different…” Octavia whispers.

Clarke hums in response. With all the formalities done for Octavia’s promotion to field agent, she was now driving them to the former recruit’s new apartment. “I can tell you, not much has changed in the two months you were in training.” She flicks through the radio stations but when there’s nothing that catches her interest, she lowers the volume. “How you feeling?”

Octavia shrugs slightly and continues to take in the surroundings. “I’m an agent now….” She says.

“You are,” Clarke nods.

“But you still don’t think I should be?”

Clarke inhales sharply. “Do you want the truth?”

“I do.”

“Then, no. I don’t think you should,” Clarke admits. “But again, that’s not to question your abilities. I just think that with everything that’s happening–”

“–With Lexa?” Octavia asks.

“Yes, with Lexa. She might have spared you the other night but the last thing I want is for you or anyone else to be caught in the cross fire.” They reach their destination and Clarke pulls over to the kerb. “We’re here,” Clarke smiles. It’s a nice apartment building. The Ark loved spoiling their agents as some way to “reward” them for things they had to do.

Clarke guides them up to Octavia’s apartment. It’s fully furnished and everything is already set up for her. She lets Octavia wander through the place as she opens up all the cupboards and draws in absolute wonderment.

“This is all mine?” Octavia asks.

“All yours.”

“Wow,” Octavia breathes. “I’ve never had this much nice stuff before.”

Clarke pulls up a chair at the dining table and puts the folder she was carrying down. “Come and sit for a minute. We just have to go through a few more things.” Once Octavia sits down she then goes through what was going to happen here.

Later in the day, Alie is going to stop by and give Octavia her background story and information on her next mission. The background story would essentially be Octavia’s “new life” according to society. It would give her everything from where she went to high school to previous and current employment.

Clarke explains the rules. Since Octavia is a new agent she’s required to check in on Tuesdays and Thursdays. “Usually agents come in and train for a bit during those days,” Clarke says. “You might be an agent now but you’re still expected to keep with your training.”

Octavia nods.

“Plus, you might as well. It’s cheaper than getting a gym membership.”

“So Tuesdays and Thursdays?” Octavia asks.

“Yep,” Clarke confirms. She then hands over the apartment keys, the keys to the car and a credit card. “Account info is in the folder. Any purchases over $5,000 will need to be cleared with me first.”

Octavia almost chokes on air. “And I get the car?”

Clarke nods again. “Any other questions?”

“What do I do now?”

Clarke starts to gather her things. “You do whatever you want.”

“Really?”

“Well after Alie has come by and given you the all clear. After that you’re free to do as you please. Go out, start a hobby, get to know the area. You’ll be called in when you’re needed for a mission."

“Okay,” Octavia whispers.

Clarke smiles as knows that this is probably her queue to leave. She’s gone through this process enough to know that Octavia was probably running on quite a high at the moment and needed some time to process everything.

But at the same time her experience with graduating Octavia is little different from the rest. It’s like having a word on the tip of her tongue which she just can’t get. She still feels like Octavia was put in by someone from higher up to keep Bellamy in line after his ‘incident’. Because in the last couple there has been a noticeable difference in his actions.

“If that’s all then…” Clarke trails off and grabs her bag. Octavia walks her to the door and Clarke gives a small nod as she steps out the apartment. “You have my number, call me if you need me.”

Octavia leans against the doorway and nods. “Thanks Agent Griffin.” There’s a pause and just as Clarke starts to walk away Octavia speaks up again. “Can I ask you something?”

Clarke immediately turns back and takes a few steps back towards Octavia. “Of course.”

“Why did Lexa let us go?” Octavia asks, scratching her head slightly. “Wouldn’t it be easier or have sent a stronger message if she had killed us? It’s just… after what I’ve learnt about her through The Ark, I thought she would have taken any opportunity to bring us down.”

Clarke lets out a small sigh. “Lexa won’t kill needlessly. She was exactly like us when she was in The Ark – she knows why we do the things we do. She’s after Jaha so she can bring down the organisation as a whole.”

“ _Needlessly?”_ Octavia asks.

Clarke hums in response. “You’re a low level agent, Octavia. No offence but killing you won’t harm The Ark as a whole. There are many recruits just waiting to become agents.

“I get it,” Octavia replies. “But what about you? You’re not a low level agent? Wouldn’t have killing you sent a message?”

“Lexa and I….” Clarke pauses and bites her bottom lip slightly, “We have a history.”

“Oh.”

“But as you can guess… The Ark doesn’t really condone relationships in general…” Clarke replies.  “I wish I could say that you have nothing to be worried about.”

“I know.”

“We’re doing everything we can to get this Lexa situation handled.”

“Handled?” Octavia asks.

“Handled,” Clarke repeats. “You going to be okay?”

Octavia nods. “Yeah, thanks for everything.”

“No worries. Again, call me if you need anything.” They say their final goodbyes and Clarke makes her way out of the apartment building. Given that the car that they drove here in was now Octavia’s, Clarke is left to walk back to her own place. Fortunately, it isn’t too far away and it’s quite a nice day out.

As she walks, her mind drifts off to a certain conversation she had a few years before.

 

**October 2009**

_Slowly, Clarke rolls off Lexa and she can’t contain the smile on her face._

_“How long do we have until we have to go?” Lexa asks._

_Clarke turns towards the bedside and checks her phone. “Hmm, we should probably hit the road in about forty minutes.” They had just completed a two-women mission, successfully and were celebrating with each other before they had to get back to The Ark. “Which means we still have some time,” she grins as she turns back to Lexa._

_Lexa raises an eyebrow, “Time for what?”_

_Clarke answers her by connecting their lips in a passionate kiss. She trails her tongue across Lexa’s bottom lip and lets the softest moans escape her lips as their tongues slide against each other. The kiss breaks and Clarke peppers kisses across Lexa’s jaw and down towards the crook of Lexa’s neck. “We have time for a nap,” she laughs._

_Lexa simply smiles. She waits until Clarke’s head is resting on her shoulder comfortably before she wraps her arms around Clarke’s body. They go silent for a while, just enjoying the little pocket of peace and quiet before they have to return back to the real world._

_“Can I ask you something?” Clarke whispers._

_Lexa hums in response._

_Clarke lets out a small breath, “What would you be doing if we weren’t… if this wasn’t our lives?”_

_“This is a dangerous conversation,” Lexa whispers back._

_Clarke lifts her head up of Lexa’s chest. “Humour me,” she smiles. She props herself up and watches as Lexa turns her body towards her._

_Lexa thinks about it for a moment. “I’d be a teacher. Most likely PE or maths – or both.”_

_“You’d be a good teacher.”_

_“What about you?”_

_“Vet,” Clarke answers._

_Lexa raises an eyebrow, “Really?”_

_“Yeah,” Clarke nods. “You know I love animals and to be surrounded by them all day? To have the ability to help them get better? That would be pretty cool.”_

_“It suits you.”_

_Clarke lets out a small sigh. “Maybe in another life.” She lays back down and the two of them fall into another moment of peace in their rather hectic life._

_Lexa trails her fingers up and down Clarke’s arm softly. “What if we didn’t have to be in this life?”_

_Clarke lets out a small chuckle. “Now who’s entering a dangerous conversation.”_

_“I mean it.”_

_What scares Clarke in this moment is that it doesn’t feel like Lexa is lying. But what she was suggesting was something they could never have, not with the way The Ark has control over their lives. Clarke sits up and moves to the edge of the bed, finding her clothes. “We should go,” she whispers as she puts on her bra. She doesn’t look back to Lexa but can feel the other woman shift in the bed. Clarke puts on her shirt and takes a few deep breaths, “I mean it Lexa, that’s dangerous territory.”_

_Clarke turns around to see Lexa already changed and heading for the door._

_“I’ll check in with The Ark and let them know we’re coming back,” Lexa says as she leaves the room._

_All Clarke can do sigh and put on the rest of her clothing._

 

* * *

“Go,” Lexa tells Luna. “Let us know when you know.”

Luna nods and makes her way out of the loft. Luna has just given them _some_ potential information about Owen the Reaper but needed to go and confirm a few things before they could make a move. 

Lexa’s phone then dings with an incoming message.

 **Unknown Number**  
Little bird has been let  
out of the cage

She looks up towards Lincoln, who’s working away at her computer. “I have to go,” she tells him as she slides her phone into her back pocket.

“Need me to come with you?” Lincoln asks.

Lexa shakes her. She’s grateful for the offer but she still wants to keep Octavia’s identity away from Lincoln and Luna for as long as possible. The more people who know about Octavia, the greater chance there is of her being found out. And that is not a risk she is willing to take. 

“I’ll be back in a couple of hours.”

“Hey wait,” Lincoln calls out. “How’s your recruit doing?”

“She’s fine. The Ark brought her story.”

Lincoln nods. “That’s good. Any news on when she’s going to be out?”

“Not yet,” Lexa lies. She grabs her keys and makes her way out, “Call me if Luna has any news!”

 

* * *

 

Octavia wanders around her new apartment and she doesn’t really know what to do at this point. She couldn’t leave yet because she had to wait for Alie to give her the all clear – but she is super anxious to get out and find Lexa. It’s been a whirlwind of a couple days and she’s got some concerns about a few of the things she had to go through while being promoted to field agent (because they were different procedures to what Lexa told her in the past).

It’s not long before she comes to the conclusion that it’s a _really_ nice apartment. The kitchen is stocked with the basics, she’s got couches more comfortable than beds she’s had in the past, a fully equipped entertainment system and a wardrobe filled to the brink. Fashion and clothes has never really been her thing but when she sees a pair of black Louis Vuitton that fit _just right_ she can’t help but strut around the apartment in them.

When Alie comes by the apartment Octavia is nervous as hell. Alie Pramheda is another assistant director of The Ark and she was probably the most intimidating of them all.  Her signature red dress had Octavia recognising her almost immediately that first day she was in The Ark. The one thing that Lexa has drilled into her mind is that you do not want to be on the receiving end of an interrogation with the woman.

Alie is as professional as ever. It’s a long hour conversation and Octavia is sure that she holds her breath for the most of it. Alie explains the rules for new agents, gives Octavia her background story and goes over a few key protocols. What surprises her is that Alie praises her for going up against Lexa and making it out alive. It takes everything in Octavia not to grit her teeth and scream as Alie talks down about Lexa.

“ _Lexa is a coward.”_

_“The biggest traitor of them all.”_

_“Going against people who gave her everything.”_

Just before Alie leaves Octavia is given her first mission as an agent. “There’s going to be a briefing tomorrow morning.”

Octavia nods as she quickly glances over the file that Alie had has handed to her. “I’m working with Alpha team?”

Alie shakes her head. “No. They will be there but you have your own mission.”

“Okay.”

Alie starts to gather her things. “How you handle your first mission as an agent is important. You don’t want to mess this up, Agent Blake.”

“I won’t.”

“Then if you have no other questions, that’s all for today.”

When Alie leaves Octavia goes through her cover story again. According to her new file she was “Octavia Morrison” to the outside world who was an aspiring freelance journalist. Octavia goes through the file again just taking as much as she can so she can pass along the information to Lexa.

It’s about an hour later that she decides to head out. Though her kitchen has the basics, she is going to need a few more things if she was going to have something to eat later in the night. She’s 24 and this is the first time she’s really going grocery shopping by herself. There’s an odd feeling that washes over her because she could literally buy 6 jars of Nutella and no one could stop her.

(She only buys 3).

One of her first buys is a burner phone. She sends a message to Lexa and gets a reply almost instantly, asking her to meet her in the park in an hour. Octavia drives around the area and eventually finds the park. It’s nice and small, not much people around so she makes her way to the benches across the lake and waits.

It’s about ten minutes later that someone comes and sits next to her. Octavia watches as the lady sets up an easel with a blank canvas.

“Beautiful day isn’t it?” the lady asks as she sets up her paints.

“It is,” Octavia replies. She’s looks around to see if Lexa is around yet – but nothing.

The lady smiles and whispers, “Ai laik Jemma kom Heda kru. Oso throu daun ogeda.”

Octavia eyes go wide.

Jemma starts to paint the scene before them. “Lexa is around. She can hear everything you say so just talk to me like I’m her.”

Octavia nods, despite feeling a little uneasy at the situation.

 _“You’re being followed by a few undercover Ark agents. Standard protocol to see what new agents get up to in the first few days of freedom,”_ Jemma explains (which is actually Lexa explaining).

“Who are they?”

_“Man in the leather jacket by the gazebo and woman walking the two dogs at three o’clock.”_

Octavia subtly looks over to the man and woman and takes a mental note.

“ _How are you doing?”_

Octavia lets out a small sigh and continues to watch as Jemma paints the lake. “I’m alright considering… everything.”

“ _It was never meant to go this far.”_

“Don’t,” Octavia replies. “You are the one who taught me that plans never really go as initially planned.”

“ _This is a big change though.”_

“I know. But I can do this.” Octavia glances around the park again. “Are you here?”

“ _I am. Your 10 o’clock. In the tree.”_

Octavia adverts her gaze and spots Lexa sitting up in a tree. She smiles softly. “I have a mission on Friday night. I have to cosy up to some people and try to get an interview so I can then go plant something in their networks.”

_“Two-part mission? Grabbing interviews doesn’t sound too serious. I’ll intercept when you’re meant to plant whatever it is in the networks.”_

Octavia turns back to watch Jemma painting. “You say it’s not serious, but Alpha team is scheduled to go too.”

“ _They are?”_

Octavia nods. “I couldn’t get any more info though. It just said in the file for Alpha team to be at the briefing tomorrow as well.”

“ _I’ll see what I can find out.”_

“Lexa?” Octavia whispers. “Didn’t you say that when recruits graduate, they get a tracker implanted into their hip?”

“ _Yeah. We’ll take yours out in a few days once they drop the tail on you. Then I can just clone the signal.”_

Octavia sighs. “I didn’t get a tracker implanted in my hip. They had me swallow a chip type of thing. Dr Collins said it was a biometric tracker and they had just implemented a year ago.”

It’s just silent for a while and Octavia doesn’t know what to make of it. Jemma just continues to paint as she waits to relay whatever Lexa’s response is. When another minute passes Octavia looks back to the tree Lexa is sitting in. “Lexa? What’s wrong?”

“ _We’re going to have to wait on taking out your tracker while I look into this new tracker. Not a big deal.”_

“What are you not telling me Lexa?”

“ _Nothing._ _I have to go I have a new lead on another Reaper.”_

“Okay.”

“ _Call me if you need me.”_

Octavia nods as Jemma continues to paint. “Thanks, Jemma.” She stays for another ten or so minutes before saying her final goodbye and making her way to her car. She heads home ( _home_ what a weird thought) and goes over her case file again to prepare for the briefing the next day.

 

* * *

 

Lexa makes her way up to her loft with her phone to her ear. “I need you to call me back B. It’s about those damn biometric chips The Ark was experimenting with. It seems like they’ve mastered it because Octavia has one in her! Call. Me. Back.” She hangs up the call and enters her loft to see Lincoln and Luna both looking right at her. “Tell me you have good news,” she sighs.

“I do,” Luna replies. “I know when Owen is coming in. This Friday.”

“Friday night?” Lexa asks.

Luna nods. “I don’t have an address yet but I know Alpha team and Jaha will be there to meet with him.”

Lexa mentally connects the dots with what Luna is telling her and what Octavia had told her earlier. Octavia too, had a mission on Friday night where Alpha team were scheduled to go. The last thing Lexa wanted was for Octavia to be caught in the cross fire _again_ but this is what it’s come down. “I can find out where it is.”

Lincoln raises an eyebrow, “How?”

“My recruit– well agent now– has a mission on Friday where Alpha team is going as well.”

“I thought you said she wasn’t out yet?” Lincoln recalls.

“I lied.” Lexa lifts up her hand as Lincoln is about to reply. “I lied because I want to keep her a secret for as long as possible. I know you won’t go screaming to The Ark that there’s a mole in their organisation but it’s just better this way.”

Lincoln sighs. “You’re going to have to tell us about her one day.”

“He’s right,” Luna adds.

“Maybe,” Lexa replies. “But today is not the day.”

Lincoln nods understandably. “I guess it’s time to suit up.”


	7. welcome to the game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ... let the games begin

“You’re fucking kidding me,” Lexa sighs as she brings her free hand to rub her eyes.

“ _I don’t kid. They got the chips to work”_

Lexa shakes her head. “When I was an agent the chips only lasted in the system for 24 hours.”

“ _I don’t know what to tell you, Lexa.”_

“Tell me…” Lexa trails off, “Tell me that this… chip…. Doesn’t double up as a kill chip also.”

“ _It does.”_

“Damn it!” Lexa yells.

_“My friend at the lab gave me the prototype so I’ll look into finding out how we can get it out of Octavia.”_

“We need a solution, B,” Lexa says.

“ _I know. I’m working on it. By the end of tomorrow, I’ll at least be able to tell you how to clone the signal.”_

Lexa sits up a little straighter and nods. “Alright, I’ll talk to you later.” She hangs up the call and turns to the dining table where Lincoln and Luna were working away at their laptops. The last couple of days has been about creating a solid plan to intercept Owen for when he hands over the black box. It was hard though – because they didn’t have a location yet and were just going around in circles at this point.

“Who were you talking to?” Luna asks, not looking up from her laptop.

Lexa takes a seat at the table. “Do you guys know anything about the chips they put into agents now?”

Lincoln looks up from his laptop, “No more hip-trackers?”

“They replaced the old ones with a biometric tracker a year ago,” Luna answers. “It’s a ‘chip’ and it’s a lot more advanced than the old ones… as you figured out.”

“What does that mean?” Lincoln asks.

Luna looks to Lexa and then back to Lincoln. “It’s also a kill chip. One push of a button and the agent drops dead.”

“Do all Ark agents have them now?”

Luna shakes her head. “Directors, Alpha team and senior agents remain on the hip-tracker but everyone else gets _chipped.”_

“Any chance you know how to get the chips out?” Lexa asks Luna.

Luna shakes her head again. “Sorry. If you know how the chip works you could always just clone the signal and alter the location digitally. I don’t know how that will affect the kill function though.”

“Working on it,” Lexa replies.

Lincoln raises an eyebrow. “The person on the phone?”

Lexa nods. “You don’t need to know about them yet, either.” She pauses and walks back towards her own computers.

“It’s already past 5 Lexa, and we still don’t have a location on where this party is. You want to tell us how we’re getting there?”

Lexa opens her tracking agent.

[command] find tracker 319

[location found]

She watches as the blinking red dot appears on the screen. It is located at the address of an estate, commonly used for major function events. “Got it,” she says as she starts to gather her things. “Let’s go.”

 

* * *

 

It’s been quite the week for Octavia.

Adjusting back into life outside The Ark is an experience, mainly because she keeps wondering if this is what “normal” is meant to feel like. She has a place to stay, a job (so to speak) and did things that she at least considers to be every-day kind of things. But she’s never really had a “normal” life so it’s a bit weird.

She checks in to The Ark when she’s expected to and helps train Aden when he has some spare time. There are meetings and further briefings into her first mission as an agent, which she isn’t as nervous about (compared to her graduation mission). Her mission is just to score some meetings with a few key people at the party – something she’s pretty confident she can do without any problem.

Her nervousness comes into the fact that Alpha team is also coming along with this mission. Lexa has told her about how the black box would also be there in some way and that’s what has her on edge. She trusts Lexa, but whenever Lexa is about to intercept an Ark mission, Octavia needs to prepare herself for every possible outcome.

Octavia sits across from Clarke, watching as she traces mindless patterns into the face of her watch. She’s come to respect Clarke a lot and part of her almost feels as if she’s betraying the woman, but she’s been in this fight for the past four years and she wants to see this place burn to the ground more than anything else.

Octavia clears her throat slightly, “Agent Griffin? What’s the time?”

Clarke looks up to Octavia and smiles. “5. We’re right on schedule.”

“Stop fidgeting,” Anya whispers.

Octavia sighs and soothes out the creases in her dress. She wasn’t even aware that she was fidgeting. The van has just pulled up into the parking lot of the estate. “Why don’t you or the rest of Alpha team have to get dressed up?”

“You have your mission, we have ours.” Anya opens the door to the van and steps out, waiting for everyone else to do the same. “Be alert, _everyone_. There is a good chance that we’ll see Lexa again tonight. Remember the orders, bring her in if you can otherwise it’s a shoot to kill.”

All the agents nod and mutter quiet replies before breaking off into their respective groups. Octavia watches as Alpha team form a small circle to the side but isn’t able to get any closer to hear what they’re saying – so she returns her focus to her own team of agents. A couple of minutes later they’re breaking off again and Octavia is heading towards the entrance of the party.

This party is similar to her graduation mission one. It’s very fancy party and people are dress to impress. Octavia does her round of the floor – scoping out those who she needed to talk to whilst keeping an eye out for any signs of Lexa. She notices that Alpha team and Jaha are still in the vicinity so she can only assume that the black box hasn’t arrived yet.

After scoring a meeting with one of the three people she needed, Octavia makes her way towards the bar where Clarke is standing by alone.

“Good job,” Clarke compliments. “You’re a natural.”

Octavia nods and small smile and orders a Vodka pineapple from the bartender. “I have a question,” she whispers.

“Ask away.”

“Was there a credible threat or something for Alpha team to be here?” Octavia pauses as the bartender hands her a drink. “I mean from what I know about tonight; I only have to get some interviews. It doesn’t seem like the type of party Lexa would be interested in infiltrating.”

“You have nothing to worry about,” Clarke replies.

Octavia takes a sip of her drink. “That doesn’t exactly answer my question.”

“Well your question is a little above your clearance level.”

“So there _is_ something else going on?”

Clarke turns to Octavia completely. “You need to stay focus on _your_ mission, Octavia. I get where your questions are coming from, I do. I get that you’re worried.”

“You could say that again,” Octavia mutters.

Clarke sighs. “But if someone else hears you ask these type of questions – they might get the wrong impression. And they will have no problem going around me to someone higher up in the chain.”

Octavia nods. “Like you said, I’m just worried.”

Clarke takes the last swig of her drinks. “And like I said, you don’t need to be worried tonight.” She leans in slightly closer, “ _If_ Lexa is to show up she’ll be more interested in what’s going on out back than in here.” There’s a pause. “Okay?”

Octavia nods. “Okay… I have another question.”

Clarke raises an eyebrow.

“It’s about what you told me during the first few days I was here…” Octavia clarifies. “You said that if I wanted to find something out about Bellamy, all I had to do was ask. Does that offer still stand?”

Clarke nods. “What do you want me to find out?”

“Who brought him in,” Octavia whispers. “Bellamy said that The Ark would protect me if he went to work for them and I want to know what that deal was.”

“I can do that,” Clarke replies. “Now go, finish your mission.”

Octavia nods again and finishes her drink. She’s been meaning to ask Clarke about her brother for a while now. She’s just been… preparing herself for the truth. The last time she asked someone for absolute the truth, she learnt about a secret organisation of assassins and then ended up agreeing to infiltrate said organisatoin. Though she’s sure that nothing could top the moment she heard about The Ark, she still wants to hear the other side to Bellamy’s story, even if it came from the same organisation she’s trying to take down.

She soon leaves the bar and once she’s out of sight from Clarke and any of the other agents, she searches for someone in particular. It’s not long before she sees someone slide a phone into their jacket pocket so Octavia makes her way towards the man. She “accidently” bumps into him and manages to pick pocket the phone.

She sends a message to Lexa, letting her know what Clarke had just told her. She pockets the phone and makes her way back to the main floor of the party. She does her rounds, keeping her eye on Alpha team to see if they were going to make a move anytime soon.

It’s after she manages to score her second interview for the night that notices Alpha team and Jaha leaving the main party area. She checks the phone but there is no reply from Lexa. It’s not a surprise, really, considering that they were right in the middle of a mission. But it’s left Octavia trying to figure her next move herself, since she hasn’t been able to cross paths with Lexa yet.

She takes small and steps around the party, keeping her eyes on Jaha and the Ark agents trailing behind him. It doesn’t take long for her to make a decision though. She cuts through the crowd and ends up following them towards the back of the building. Octavia hides behind some bushes as she watches Jaha and the agents walk across the back garden and into what looked like a fancy shed house. Some agents remain on guard at the door and all Octavia can do at this point is sit and wait to see what happens.

 

* * *

 

Lexa, Luna and Lincoln arrive at the party just in time to see Jaha and Alpha team walk across the back gardens. With Octavia’s little heads up, they didn’t have to waste time scoping out the rest of the building for where the exchange was going to take. They’re situated away about 100ft from the room Jaha and the agents entered, hiding behind some trees and bushes.

“There’s an underground passage way inside that room,” Luna whispers. “I’ve been here before on a mission.”

Lincoln looks around the garden. “Doesn’t seem like Owen has showed up yet though.”

“Do either of you know him?” Lexa asks.

Luna shakes her head first. “Jaha didn’t really want us knowing about each other since our sole mission was to watch over the box only.”

Lexa just nods along to the information. She scans the area to try to figure out their best play from here. There were at least 5 Ark agents covering the door to the room and she knows that Alpha team would be inside with Jaha. She might have Lincoln and Luna on her side but they were still out numbered.

Her eyes glance over to the main building where the lights and soft thumping of music echoes through the air. But what catches her attention is the shift in the shadows behind some of the bushes. Lexa keeps her eyes in that general area, waiting to see if the shadow reappears and surely enough – it does.

“Shit,” she curses. _Octavia._

“What is it?” Lincoln asks.

Lexa has to make a choice now. She could either go to Octavia herself and tell the young agent to go back inside or she could have either Lincoln or Luna do it. And just when she thinks she has a moment to make the decision, she sees someone (who she assumes to be Owen) strut through the yard with what looks like to be a few body guards.

Lexa curses again and turns Lincoln, she motions her head towards Octavia.

Lincoln follows Lexa’s direction and eventually falls on the shadow behind the bush. “Someone’s watching.”

Lexa shakes her head. “That’s my agent.”

“What is she doing? She’s going to get herself floated if they catch her out here.”

“I need you to go and make sure she doesn’t do anything stupid. Better yet, tell her to go back inside and fulfil her own mission.”

Lincoln nods. “What’s her name?”

“Octavia Blake,” Lexa breathes.

“ _Blake?_ ” Lincoln asks.

“Isn’t there a Blake in The Ark?” Luna ask as well. “The one who–”

“–Yes,” Lexa cuts in. “Bellamy Blake. Octavia is his sister.” She pauses as both Lincoln and Luna’s eyes go wide. “Look it’s a long story and I’ll explain later. Just go.” Lincoln nods again and is just about to walk away when Lexa stops him. “You need to introduce yourself as Lincoln of the Commander’s people and that we fight together in Trig, otherwise she won’t trust you.”

“Got it.”

 

* * *

 

Octavia watches as someone, surrounded by a few other guards walk through the garden. It doesn’t take her long to connect the dots and realise that this must be the Reaper that Jaha is meeting with tonight. Just from the first glance everything about the man screams Super-Agent. The way he walks with his head held high, the confidence (or maybe it was cockiness) just oozes out of him and Octavia just knows that you don’t want to mess with someone like that.

The man approaches the guarded door and Octavia spots a way to try and get closer. Just as she’s about to make her move, someone comes up from behind her and covers her mouth and traps her in a hold. She can’t scream but does everything she can to try and break free.

“ _Shhhhhhh.”_

Octavia doesn’t listen though, she keeps fighting.

“ _Ai laik Linkon kom Heda kru. Oso throu daun ogeda.”_

Octavia knows that no matter how much times she hears this passage; she’s never not going to be surprised. After a moment she stops struggling and nods against the strangers hold.

“ _I’m going to let you go now, okay?”_

Octavia nods again and waits for the grip around her to loosen. When she’s free she turns around, “Lincoln was it?” He nods. “Where’s Lexa?” Octavia asks. She takes just a second to register the man in front of her. He’s bald, and kind of has a rough exterior but his voice is not what she would have expected. It’s soft, almost reassuring.

“Right to it then, huh?”

“We don’t exactly have time to sit down and get to know each other, do we?” Octavia argues.

“Touché,” he smiles. “Lexa’s handling it.”

“I can help.”

Lincoln shakes his head. “You can help by not getting caught. You’re our only way into The Ark so it’s kind of important that you keep your cover.” They both duck as they hear footsteps, and wait for whoever was walking past to be gone.

When Octavia is sure that the person is gone completely, she looks back up to Lincoln.

“Go finish your mission,” Lincoln whispers. He stands up moves behind a tree, waiting for Octavia to do the same. “Jaha doesn’t like it when his agents come up short.” He smiles. “No pun intended.”

“You’re funny,” Octavia replies dryly.

“It’s a funny world we live in.”

“Far from it.”

Lincoln motions his hand towards the main building again. “Go back inside. We’ll update you when the night is over.”

 

* * *

 

Lexa watches as Owen crosses the garden. They’ve managed to move closer to the door but remain well hidden behind the bushes. Occasionally her eyes flicker over to where Lincoln and Octavia are – hoping that Lincoln is able to convince Octavia to go back inside. Watching Owen’s overall persona reminds her about the first time she encountered Lincoln. Owen is still very clearly on _Red_ which reminds her that Lincoln and Luna’s stash is running dangerously low. She needs to figure something out _soon_. But first things first, they need to get their hands on Owen’s black box.

Lexa expects Owen to walk up to the agents and be let through without a problem. However, that does not happen. Owen stops in front of the door and his body guards surround him.

“I want Jaha out here now!” Owen yells.

Lincoln returns to them and the three of them watch on and listen to the conversation that follows.

The Ark agents hold up their weapons and as do the body guards.

“Tell Jaha come out, right now,” Owen says again.

One of agents radios through and a couple of moments later, the door is being opened. Alpha team steps out first with their weapons hot and Jaha and Alie follow closely behind.

“Stand down, Owen,” Jaha commands.

Owen shakes his head. “Seems like you’ve lost your touch, Sir.”

“Where is my black box?”

“Not here,” Owen smirks. He shrugs a little, “How’s the Lexa situation going?”

“It’s being handled,” Alie cuts in.

“Doesn’t seem like it. It’s been months and yet you still haven’t brought her in. She’s living up to her title _The Commander._ ”

Anya steps forward with her gun pointed right at Owen, ignoring the body guards. “What do you want, Owen?”

Owen points to himself, “It’s not what I want but rather…” he then points to Jaha, “But rather how much _you_ want your black box.”

“What are you getting at?” Jaha asks.

“I’m selling your black box on Saturday. You’re welcome to come and bid on it.” He reaches into his pocket and pauses as all the Ark agents focus their weapons. Slowly, Owen takes out a phone from his pocket and throws it over to Jaha. “You’ll get a time and place day of the auction.”

“You’re out numbered,” Jaha points out. “We can take you out right here, right now.”

Owen tuts, “Do you really think I don’t have backup?” And just like that, an array of red sniper lights covers most of the Ark agents.

Lexa, Lincoln and Luna all duck slightly as they all try to find where the snipers are set up. It’s not long before they see bodies on the roof of the main building.

“I’m going to leave now,” Owen continues, “So tell your agents to stand down.”

A stare off between Owen and Jaha ensues, and neither of them back down. It’s not until Anya lowers her gun first that the sniper light is taken off her. This urges the other agents to follow suit.

Owen tips his head slightly. “Always a pleasure, Sir.”

“You’re going to go against me?” Jaha asks.

Owen nods and smiles. “I’m not exactly the first, am I? Lexa? Lincoln? Luna? I’ve been part of your game long enough. Now it’s your turn to be part of mine.”

Jaha shakes his head. “You won’t win.”

Owen smirks again. “We’ll just have to see about that won’t we.” He points to Jaha who still has a sniper on him, “One sniper will remain on your while I leave. None of your agents are to follow.”

Owen then leaves and surprisingly, Jaha orders everyone to stand down. Now it was Lexa’s move. She, Lincoln and Luna tip toe around the outskirts of the garden until they’re out of sight from the Ark agents. They manage to catch up to Owen, with Luna darting forward to apprehend the Reaper.

Luna gets him in a choke hold and Owen laughs when he spots Lexa and Lincoln step forward. Owen’s guard draw out their weapon but he gestures them to stand down.

“I was wondering when I was going to see you,” Owen mutters against Luna’s hold.

Luna tightens her arm around his neck, “You’re selling the box?!”

Owen nods. “A guy’s got to make some money somehow,” he chokes.

“Let him go,” Lexa tells Luna.

Luna lets him go but pulls out her weapon.

Owen rubs his neck slightly, “I just knew that Commander couldn’t be dead. And now you’ve got these two on your team… Not bad, Lexa.”

“I want the box,” Lexa replies.

Owen reaches into his pocket slowly and pulls out another phone, exactly like the one he had given Jaha just a little earlier. “Welcome to the game,” he smiles as throws the phone over to Lexa.

 

* * *

 

Lexa tells Lincoln and Luna to go first as she was going to stay back and make sure Octavia is okay for the rest of the night. She isn’t able to actually talk to Octavia – but she peeks through the windows and pays a few people off to send a message to her agent.

As the night seems to wind down Lexa, finds herself in the gardens again – away from any agents or guest from the party. She just needs a quiet moment to herself to gather her thoughts and events of the night. She’s trying to process and she’s trying to figure out the best move from here. She knows that Jaha is going to be putting everything into getting this box back, so she needs to as well. The biggest problem? The Ark had almost unlimited resources and at this very moment there was no way she was going to win the auction.

Along with that, Lincoln and Luna also knew of Octavia. Lexa wanted to keep Octavia a secret for as long as she could. Infiltrating The Ark is probably one of the most dangerous aspects of this plan, because of the amount of uncertainty attached to it. It’s the one aspect that always has Lexa on edge – as it feels like she’s just waiting to hear the news that Octavia’s been found.

That aside, there was a few other things she needed to figure out.

  * Lincoln and Luna both need more _Red_ asap as their current supply is running short
  * She still has to figure out how to get the chip out of Octavia
  * And there's the matter of the other (currently unknown) Reapers



When she’s just about to leave, fate would just so have it that Clarke walks through the gardens (alone) and towards one of the benches. Lexa watches as Clarke takes a seat and drops her head into her hands. She knows she should just leave, but her heart tells her to stay.

She listens to her heart.

Lexa walks over towards Clarke, but remains in the bushes. She leans against a tree that is just behind the bench. “Clarke,” she whispers.

Clarke sighs but doesn’t turn around. “Of course you’re here.” There’s a pause. “This game is getting old, Lexa. You need to stop showing up at places you’re not meant to be.”

“You know I can’t do that.”

“What do you want from me?” Clarke asks.

It’s a question that Lexa has the answer to, but it’s not an answer she can afford to say _._ Lexa remains silent as the thumping of her heart begins to echo through her ears. She doesn’t want to admit it but _this_ – _this thing with Clarke_ is affecting her more than she expected to. For four years, Lexa was able to focus on one thing and one thing only: bringing down The Ark. But now that Clarke is back in her life, even in this situation, she’s becoming distracted.

This moment – case in point.

“I never apologised for using your mum,” Lexa whispers.

And Clarke scoffs immediately. “You chloroformed her.”

“You know that I wouldn’t have harmed her.”

“You really think that knocking someone out– knocking my mother out wouldn’t harm her _?_ Harm _me?”_ Lexa goes quiet but Clarke continues. “Why my mum? It could have been anyone else.”

“Because I knew that would be the quickest way to get to Jaha,” Lexa replies. “And I wanted– needed to make sure your dad’s watch got back to you safely.”

Clarke shakes her head and laughs. “Part of me fucking hates you, Lexa.”

“And the other part?”

“I don’t know,” Clarke breathes. “And I don’t care because I just don’t get it.”

“What is there to get, Clarke?” Lexa asks.

“I don’t get _you._ You keep my dad’s watch for four years and return it, only to then wage a war against me and my people at the same time. People who were once your people.”

Now it was Lexa’s turn to shake her head. “You know that this war isn’t against you.”

“So you say,” Clarke laughs. “But here you are, talking to _me_ , making _me_ defy orders from my boss. I should be taking you in right now but I can’t even bring myself to turn around.”

“I’m not making you do anything,” Lexa points out.

“That’s a load of crap and you know it.” Clarke gives her face a harsh rub. “What would you do if the situation were reversed? Would you shoot me? Would you bring me in?”

"You know the answer to that, Clarke," Lexa whispers. 

"You're fighting against your people."

"I'm fighting  _for_ my people," Lexa corrects. "And I know you are too. The only difference is that you are fighting  _with_ them."

"They don’t see it like that,” Clarke says.

Lexa nods. “I know. But, do you?”

Clarke avoids answering the question. “How are you so okay with fighting against people you once would have died for? People who you once called friends?”

“Do you really think that I don’t care?” Lexa huffs. “I haven’t slept since all this started because when I try to, all I see are their faces. I see you, I see Raven, Anya and Indra and Roan. I see them.” She pauses and takes a deep breath. “I remember everything, Clarke. I remember how I would have died for each and every one of you as you would have for me. But I have to do this because…”

“Head over heart, right?” Clarke offers in a dead flat tone.

“Yeah…”

“How do you make that choice so easily?”

Lexa sighs. “You keep suggesting that the choices I make are easy, but they’re not. The choices I’ve had to make haunt me even when I’m awake.”

“My head is telling me to bring you in, but my heart…” Clarke lets out an audible huff.

Lexa nods. “My head told me not to come and talk to you, but by heart had other plans.”

“You can’t say stuff like that, Lex.”

The nickname catches them both off guard and Lexa can see Clarke visibly still as she realises that it must have slipped her tongue. Lexa takes a few deep breaths. “I can’t stop this.”

Clarke nods slightly. “You’re smart enough to know that this only ends in death, right?”

Lexa hums in response.

“And I really hope it isn’t yours,” Clarke finishes.

And with that Clarke is up and walking away from the bench. Lexa hides herself behind the tree just in case – but Clarke doesn’t look back once. There is a pang in her chest as she tries to finish processing the moment she just had. In this moment they both chose heart; Lexa chose to talk to Clarke and Clarke chose to walk away (again). But Lexa’s mind wanders back to the time where they both were able to choose head over heart.

**December 12 th 2009**

_Lexa finds Clarke lying on a bed in medical. She walks in a takes a seat next to the bed, slowly intertwining their fingers together. After what has happened tonight and the past few months in general, they both knew what had to be done. But they just need a moment. A quiet moment before they head down that road._

_The had just completed a mission that The Ark would classify as “successful” but it was anything but that for Clarke and Lexa. This mission had an unexpected turn of events which lead Alpha team into some dire situations. Two of them being that Clarke had been separated from the group and the warehouse they were in was burning to the ground._

_The rest of Alpha team had made it out safely, but there were still no signs of Clarke. The warehouse was completely engulfed in flames but all they could do was wait and hope that by some miracle Clarke was still alive. Anya made the call to pull back, she couldn’t risk someone on her team going in without even knowing whether or not Clarke was still alive._

_But then there it was, the faint coughs over the team’s radio. It was Clarke._

_Without a second thought Lexa ran back into the warehouse – ignoring Anya’s commands not to go in. She found a way in through the flames and back tracked to where she had last seen Clarke. All she was breathing in was smoke at this point, but eventually she found her agent huddled in a corner. She got Clarke onto her back and that’s when she saw Anya right on her tail. The look in Anya’s eyes told her that it this was the last straw – but that would be a conversation for after._

_Just a couple of seconds after they found their way back out, the entire warehouse collapsed._

_Once they were back at The Ark, Clarke was sent straight to medical and Anya had pulled Lexa aside._

_Anya had turned a blind eye to the relationship between Clarke and Lexa for the past year because the two of them were able separate their personal life from their work. But something changed in the last two months or so. Alpha team has had a string of more top-level dangerous missions and Clarke and Lexa had too many close calls for comfort._

_Anya told Lexa that it had to end, otherwise she would have to make the decision on who would be demoted from Alpha team._ _And she didn’t want to do that. Alpha team was a close knit group who worked extremely well together. Taking someone out and bringing someone else in would impact on them significantly._

_So here Lexa was, holding Clarke’s hand for the last time. They both knew what was coming. For the last two months their actions out on the field have had too many close calls. They have both defied orders from Anya and risked their own lives to save the other. And while that wasn’t anything out of the ordinary for Alpha team – it was the fact that they were in a relationship that made it dangerous._

_“Clarke,” Lexa breathes, trying her best not to cry._

_Clarke shakes her head, “You don’t have to say it. I know.”_

_Lexa lets out couple more small breaths and nods. She wipes her eyes and can’t bring herself to say it. It would make it too real and she didn’t want that. But this couldn’t be about what she wanted – but rather what needed to be done._

_“Head over heart,” Clarke whispers. “But god does my heart sing so loud for you.”_

_Lexa brings Clarke’s hand to her lips and kisses it softly. “Maybe in another life.”_

_“Next life I say we end up in Napa Valley or something.” Clarke smiles._

_Lexa smiles too. “How is this going to work?” she asks._

_Clarke shrugs a little, “I don’t know, to be honest. It’s not going to be easy.”_

_“Yeah…”_

_“But we can do this.” Clarke gives Lexa’s hand a small squeeze. “We work well together professionally; it might just take some time to get use to the fact that we aren’t… we aren’t…”_

_“Together anymore,” Lexa finishes. They both fall silent again, with the silent hum of the medic machines filling the room. It looks like an easy breakup, but it’s far from it. Over the past two months there was a major shift between the two of them – a good shift. But obviously it wasn’t seen that way from The Ark. No matter how much they didn’t want to, they had to put The Ark first._

_Clarke lets go of Lexa’s hand to wipe away a few tears that were falling across Lexa’s cheek. “I don’t regret loving you, Lexa.”_

_“You were right,” Lexa smiles. She stands up and leans down so that they’re just a breath a part, “Life is more about than just surviving.” Their lips connect in the most tender kiss, each of them really taking in that this was really it._

_Clarke brings her hand to cup the side of Lexa’s face, making sure the kiss didn’t end too quickly. Though who is she kidding – they could be kissing for the rest of their lives and it still wouldn’t be enough._

_Lexa breaks the kiss and rests their foreheads together._

_“I love you,” Clarke whispers._

_Lexa nods softly before placing another light kiss on Clarke’s lips. “I love you, too.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! you dont know how much i appreciate every one of you who takes the time to read this fic every week. thanks for the kudos and comments as well. you all are amazing :)
> 
> alsoooo, i uploaded [a new fic](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7786468/chapters/17762074) earlier in the week. it's a light/fluffy single parents fic if you're into that sort of thing


	8. the game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's time for the black box auction. how will lexa go up against The Ark?

With everything that’s going on, Jaha pushes up the next recruit’s graduation. It’s two days after they met with Owen, it’s rushed and last minute and everything about it has Clarke on edge. It has Alpha team divided because the next recruit that graduates is Ontari. Roan fights hard for her to get promoted and Jaha only lets it happen saying that if anything goes wrong – it’s on him.

Clarke doesn’t get assigned to Ontari’s graduation mission but knows that it was a success the moment they walked back into The Ark. Ontari is good but she’s also cocky and that is ever so evident as she saunters back in, covered in blood and with the ugliest smirk across her face. Killing someone should not evoke such a reaction and it definitely concerns her.

 

* * *

 

Octavia sits next to Raven, watching her superior work on some sort of code. She picks up on a few things, but it’s just a little _too_ fast for her to follow completely. Raven’s currently programming the bug she’s meant to carry into the interviews she scored the other night. In the grand scheme of things, this mission isn’t a big one but Octavia still needs to maintain her cover.

Raven hands over the USB to Octavia. “All you got to do is plug this into a computer connected to the network.”

Octavia nods as she takes the USB. “Sounds easy enough.”

“Just you know… don’t get caught,” Raven smiles as she turns back to her laptop to continue working.

“What’s in the USB?”

“It’ll give me access into their network.”

“Why would you need to get in though?” Octavia asks.

Raven huffs in amusement. “That info is a little above your pay grade.”

“Worth a try.” A comfortable silence falls between the two of them as Octavia toys with the USB a little further. During her time in The Ark, Raven has been someone she’s grown to like as well. Lexa spoke fondly of Raven and the woman exceeded all of Octavia’s expectations.

Before coming into The Ark Octavia didn’t understand what Lexa meant when she said that these people were good people, despite the situation they were in. She couldn’t think that anyone could be “good” given what they had to do. The stories Lexa has shared with her just made it seem impossible. But now that she’s been in here for a couple of months, she understands.

Octavia looks back up to Raven, “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course,” Raven nods.

“Do you know my brother well?”

Raven turns back to Octavia and raises an eyebrow. “Define _well.”_

Octavia shrugs slightly, “Just…overall? I don’t know, I just, I thought he was dead all this time so I feel like I don’t really know him.”

“You’ve been here what? 2? 3 months now?” Raven asks. “Why don’t you just talk to him?”

“It’s not that simple.” Octavia pauses. She doesn’t know where she’s going with the conversation but feels the desire to try and keep pushing forward for some reason. “I don’t know _how_ to talk to him. It’s hard not to…”

“–Think about the past?” Raven offers.

“Yeah.”

“I understand.”

Octavia contemplates whether or not to go for it. “Lexa?” she asks quietly.

Raven nods. “Slightly different situations but I know how you feel. I wouldn’t know how to talk to Lexa if she walked in here right now. Don’t know how Clarke did it the other night.”

“Because they were in a relationship?”

“She told you about that?” Raven asks.

Octavia shakes her head quickly. “She just mentioned it briefly. I was asking why Lexa didn’t kill us when she had the chance.”

“Lexa won’t kill unless she has to,” Raven whispers. “Despite your encounter with her and what others might be saying Lexa… she was a very good agent and a very good person.”

“Do you think she still is? A good person?”

Raven shrugs. “I thought she was dead for the last four years so… I don’t really know her anymore. What about you? Do you think your brother is still a good person?”

“I…” Octavia slumps her shoulders. “I don’t know either.”

“Well at least if you wanted to figure things out with Bellamy, you can. If I wanted to do the same with Lexa, I don’t think higher-ups would be so happy.”

“Maybe when it’s over.”

Raven chuckles. “When… whatever is going on is over, Lexa will be dead or we’ll be. That’s the only way it ends.”

It takes everything in Octavia to not argue because that would be pushing it, even by her standards. So she just nods and picks up the USB again. She watches as Raven goes back to work on her laptop and she lets her mind wander back to her “training” period with Lexa.

 

October 2014

_Octavia sits down at the desk that Lexa had set up in the middle of the loft. She honestly felt like it was school again – but then again it basically has been since she started training with Lexa. Their morning was spent doing an intense round of combat fighting and now it was time for something less physically strenuous._

_A week ago Lexa started telling her about the people in The Ark. It was Octavia’s job to memorise and learn everything she could about these people so she was prepared as best she could be._

_Lexa rolls a white board in front of her, filled with pictures that are placed in a hierarchy of some sorts. She points to the top row of photos. “Names and companies.”_

_“That’s The Council. Dante Wallace is the CEO of Mount Weather Medical. Nia Quin runs Ice Nation which is the tech company on the rise. Charles Pike is in mining. Bill Long is the CFO of The Bank of Polis and Sherry Waters is the CIA special agent.”_

_“Right. Next,” she instructs as she points to the next photo._

_“Thelonious Jaha,” Octavia answers. “Director of The Ark. The man The Council looks to.”_

_Lexa nods and points towards the two pictures below Jaha’s._

_Octavia looks at the photos for a moment. “Assistant directors Marcus Kane and Alie Pramheda. Kane also teaches logistics and is the Head of Field Agents. Alie is internal affairs and **the** interrogator.”_

_Lexa nods again to let Octavia know that she was right._

_“She can’t be that bad can she?” Octavia asks._

_“Worse,” Lexa replies. She lifts up her shirt slightly and points to a scar that runs down the right side of her waist. “I wasn’t even the one being interrogated. I was just… I guess you could call it another pawn in her game.”_

_“Ouch,” Octavia whispers._

_“Ouch indeed.” Lexa then points to the pictures below Kane and Alie’s._

_“Alpha team. Head of the team is Anya Carson – who was your mentor.”_

_Lexa nods. “What does she teach?”_

_“Combat. Along with Roan Quin who is Nia’s son.” Octavia watches as Lexa points to another picture. “Indra Porter. She doesn’t teach a class. Next is Raven Reyes who,” Octavia raises her fingers to quote, “Is basically a genius.”_

_“Class?”_

_“Explosives,” Octavia responds._

_Lexa points to the last picture in the row. “And?”_

_“Clarke Griffin,” Octavia breathes. “She doesn’t teach either but you’ve taken the guess that she’s now Head of Recruits.” She watches as Lexa gives a slight nod as the atmosphere between them changes. Octavia’s know Lexa long enough to know when their training hits on an emotional heart string._

_“Yes. Her dad was Head of Recruits and before he died Clarke always shadowed him whenever she could,” Lexa explains. “I’ll introduce you to a few of the other senior agents soon.”_

_“Can I ask you something?”_

_Lexa nods._

_“How are you going to go against these people?” Octavia points to the Alpha team row of photos, “You worked alongside them, with them, hell – one of them was even your mentor.”_

_Lexa sighs a little and pulls up a chair to the table. “This is bigger than my relationship with those people.”_

_“Yeah, I know that,” Octavia replies. “But you’re still going to have go against them.”_

_Lexa nods. “I don’t sleep knowing what the future is going to hold. But what haunts me more is what the future will hold if we don’t do anything.” She pauses. “How much more people will be forced to become assassins? Forced to ‘comply or die’, as you like to put it. How much more senseless acts will The Ark accomplish in order to benefit the wrong people?”_

_Octavia doesn’t say anything as she lets the words settle._

_“I’m not saying that it’s going to be easy. Anya was my mentor – she taught me everything I know. She’s saved my life more times than I could count and to this day, I would probably still trust her with my life.” Lexa pauses and runs her fingers through her hair. “Roan and Indra always looked out for me. Always kept me in line. Raven was a good friend. She’s smart and fiercely loyal – too good for a place like The Ark. And Clarke, she’s…” Lexa trails off._

_“She meant a lot to you, didn’t she?” Octavia asks. “Clarke.”_

_Lexa nods. “She did. She’s a quick thinker and knows what to do to get what she wants. But she also has a big heart and will do absolutely anything for her people.”_

_“What happened to you two?”_

_“It’s a long story,” Lexa replies._

_“Oh I know, because you always say that.”_

_“It’s not important.”_

_Octavia shakes her head. “Agree to disagree. I think it’s important to **really** understand why you’re doing this. I know Clarke meant a lot to you, but then you’ve also told me about Costia and I’m trying to figure out how they fit into the story.”_

“ _Another time, Octavia.” Lexa then gets up, “Time for some computer training.”_

 

* * *

 

After her meeting with Raven, Octavia is just about to head back into the locker rooms before Clarke stops her.

“I have what you asked for,” Clarke says.

And it takes a moment for Octavia to remember what it is that she has. Clarke’s got information on who brought Bellamy into The Ark and she’s feeling a mix of things. Part of her wants to run before the conversation even starts. Sure, Bellamy is one the biggest reasons why she said yes to this whole thing, but she’s worried that _this_ might deter her from the bigger picture. Yes, she’s the one who asked for the information – but it’s still a lot to take in.

Clarke guides them into an empty class room and takes a seat. Octavia follows closely behind the takes a seat next to her. The tablet Clarke has is then being slid across the table.

“This is your brother’s file,” Clarke whispers.

Octavia nods and starts to read the screen. Her breath is shaky and her hands are trembling softly, like she’s nervous or something, but she doesn’t let that stop her.  

**AGENT 382 FILE**

> **Name:** Bellamy Blake  
>  **D.O.B:** 8th November 1986  
>  **Entered The Ark:** 6th January 2008  
>  **Graduation:** 4th May 2010  
>  **Status:** Alive
> 
> **Additional Information:**
> 
>   * **Contact person:** Charles Pike
> 


“Who is Charles Pike?” Octavia asks as she looks back up to Clarke. Of course she knew who the man was, but she’s still got a cover to maintain.

“Someone very important to The Ark,” Clarke replies. “You know _why_ Bellamy was caught…” Octavia nods so she continues. “Pike was the one who saved him from the cops.”

“ _Save,”_ Octavia repeats with a scoff.

Clarke sighs, “You know what I mean.”

Octavia continues to skim read through the file. It goes on the list the operations her brother has been a part of, his kills, there’s results from medical, results from exams and his training from when he was a recruit. It seems like a pretty standard file from what she can see, it’s just that Pike’s name comes up quite often.

“Pike started have reservations about being affiliated with The Ark,” Clarke explains. “So to keep him happy, Jaha let him bring in a recruit of his own.”

“Bellamy…” Octavia whispers.

Clarke nods. “So Pike brought in Bellamy and he was trained to become an agent, who would then become the liaison between Pike and The Ark. You brother wouldn’t have had much of a choice.”

Octavia just nods along. It doesn’t help knowing this. She knows about Pike, and his history. His mining company has been put through scandal after scandal for the past few years but he always managed to avoid the consequences because who he is (and amount of power he has). He’s as corrupt as they get, but then again, that’s not really a surprise when you talk about someone affiliated with The Ark they he is.

“His file doesn’t say anything about me,” Octavia points out.

“I know.” Clarke pauses. “My guess is that they didn’t want to complicate things when Bellamy was brought in. There are certain protocols we have to take when a recruit who has siblings is brought in.”

“Protocols?”

Clarke shakes her head. “You don’t want to know.”

Octavia has a pretty good idea to what Clarke is getting at, so she doesn’t push further. Clarke is right, and she doesn’t need the confirmation – because the fuel to the fire has already been added. This is just another thing that’s going to push her to make sure that she and Lexa and can bring down The Ark successfully.

She slides the tablet back over brings one of her hands to rub her eyes.

“I thought you wanted to know about your brother,” Clarke says.

“I did,” Octavia replies. “Doesn’t mean that it’s easy to take in.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Octavia shakes her head.

“Okay.” Just as Clarke locks the tablet, she gets an urgent message saying that she’s needed up in the operations room. “I have to go.”

“Thanks for letting me see his file.”

Clarke responds with as simple nod before leaving the room.

 

* * *

Clarke rushes into the main operations room where she just got word that Owen has sent them the invitation to the black box auction. Jaha has been on edge for the last couple of days as they wait for this. And they've been coming up with various plans considering that it's more than likely that Lexa will show up during the auction. 

Once everyone that was called in is in the room, Monty pulls up the invitation on the main screen.

> _Attention: The Ark._
> 
> _Welcome to the game._
> 
> _Auction for the black box will be held tonight at function centre of The Heights Hotel starting from 7pm._
> 
> _This will be a CLEAN party so no weapons will be allowed within the vicinity. Anyone found with weapons will be taken out, quite literally. But what you do outside the hotel is not my problem. _
> 
> _Initial buy-in is $1,000,000 and needs to be deposited into the following bank account before 3pm._
> 
> _Tunnel Bank  
>            BSB #93833  
>            Account #899347_
> 
> _Bring this phone to the entrance and you’ll be given another phone that you will use to place your bets in real time. Betting starts at 8pm and will end at midnight. Winner will be given the box once the funds are cleared._
> 
> _Enjoy the party._

“I want all available agents at this party tonight,” Jaha says as he finishes reading the invitation.

“What about the no weapons?” Roan asks.

“We follow it. We can’t afford to lose this box,” Jaha replies. “Agents inside the hall are not to carry any weapons but make sure agents outside the hotel are well equipped.” He looks over to Anya, “I want three of you inside in hotel and the other two outside.”

Anya nods. “Clarke, Raven and myself will be inside. Roan and Indra will be outside.”

“Very well.”

Kane steps forward after having read the invitation again. “What about the funds for this?”

“Not a problem for us. I’ll dip into my personal accounts if I have to.”

“And Lexa?” Anya asks.

Jaha shakes his head slightly too. “She won’t be able to get in and even if she did she won’t have anything to fight us with. She’ll be greatly outnumbered.”

“We shouldn’t underestimate her,” Clarke points out.

“And we’re not,” Jaha says. “But our priority tonight is getting the black box back. If you get to her outside the hotel, bring her in or if she doesn’t come easily, just shoot her. _If_ she manages to get inside the hotel, do not make a scene. As long as she doesn’t get her hands on the box I don’t care. The black box is number 1 priority at this point.”

“I’ll notify everyone who is available,” Kane says as he steps out of the room.

Alie also makes her way towards the door, “I’ll handle transport.”

Jaha nods and looks back to Alpha team. “Any other questions?”

They all shake their heads.

 

* * *

 

Lexa finishes reading the invitation and looks up to Lincoln and Luna.

“Where are we going to get the money from?” Luna asks. “Even if we pool together our resources we’re going to be outbid within the hour.”

“I have 5 million,” Lexa whispers.

“I have about 4,” Lincoln adds.

“Same,” Luna says, “But it still won’t be enough. Jaha has The Council to back him up and it wouldn’t be smart for use all our finances when we still have other boxes to get.”

Lexa sighs and starts to pace back and forth around the loft. She knew Luna was right. Even with the 13 million between them, Jaha would definitely be able to outbid them in an instant. And that was just Jaha, Lexa didn’t even know about the other players. According to Luna’s sources, China and Germany are also going to be big contenders in this game.

 Luna grabs her phone and starts to message someone. “I might be able to get another 2.”

“It still won’t be enough,” Lexa sighs. “But yeah, if you can get it we might as well–” She stops talking when there’s an incoming video call from her laptop. Lexa frowns a little when it’s an unknown number that pops up.

“Who is it?” Lincoln asks.

Lexa shrugs and checks to make sure that everything is secure within her system before answering it. When she does she’s met with the face of none other than Nia Quin.

“ _Lexa.”_

The voice sends a shiver down Lexa’s spine and she is quite literally taken back. Nia is the last person she was expecting at the other end of the call – any member from The Council would be a shock at this point given her plans for The Ark. She’s met Nia a handful times and even completed a few missions for the woman when she was still an agent. But Lexa could come up with no reason for why Nia would be calling right now.

“How did you find me?” Lexa asks.

“ _Tsk tsk, Lexa. Do you forget who I am?”_

Lexa looks up to see Lincoln and Luna looking back at her quizzically. “It’s Nia.”

“Quin?” Lincoln asks.

“ _The one and only.”_

Lexa rolls her eyes. “What do you want from me?”

“ _It’s not about what I want, it’s about what **you**_ _want.”_

“I’m not interested in your games, Nia. Either tell me why you’re calling or I’m going to hang up.” Lexa is almost about to end the call when Nia speaks up.

“ _You want the black box Owen is selling, right?”_ Lexa raises her eyebrow but doesn’t say anything. “ _You should really stop being surprised that I know things.”_

“Why would you help me?” Lexa asks. “You’re on The Council.”

“ _Not for much longer. The Ark serves very little purpose to me anymore.”_ Nia pauses. “ _I know about the auction and I know that you were invited as well. I can’t imagine you have enough funds to compete against the other contenders.”_

Lexa tilts her head slightly. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“ _I will fund your play in the auction.”_

“And what do you want in return?”

“Lexa!” Lincoln yells harshly.

Lexa lifts her hand to stop Lincoln. She gives a small nod over her webcam to let Nia continue with the conversation.

“ _I need two things before I can drop The Ark.”_

“And you think I can help you with that?” Lexa asks.

“ _I know you can.”_

“Why me? Your son is agent; why don’t you just ask him?”

Nia shakes her head. “ _He can’t know about the things I need. If you want the money for the black box, I need you to find out what Roan is up to. He’s up to something behind my back and I can’t just hire anyone to tail him. He’ll pick up on them immediately.”_

Lexa scoffs a little. “What makes you think I can do that?”

“ _Because you managed to convince The Ark you were dead for four years.”_

Lexa sighs. Tailing Roan would be easy enough but she just had a feeling that whatever Nia’s second request was, it wouldn’t be as easy. “And what’s the second thing?”

“ _A file from The Ark network. Operation Callaway.”_

Lexa thinks about it for a moment, trying to figure out if she knew what the mission was. But it doesn’t ring any bells. She looks up to Lincoln and Luna who both shake their heads as well. “What’s Operation Callaway?”

“ _Nothing that concerns you.”_

“Well it does concern me,” Lexa argues. “I’m the one who’s meant to get it for you.”

“ _Are you saying you accept my deal?”_

“No,” Lexa replies immediately.

“ _You really have no other choice, Lexa. If you want that black box, you need me.”_

 _“_ I can still say no.”

“ _Then you won’t get your black box. But as a little extra motivation…”_

Lexa watches as Nia presses a few buttons on her own computer before another window is opening up on her own screen. It looks like a live feed to  a college basketball game. Lexa’s heart sinks.

“ _How long has it been since you’ve seen your foster sister, Lexa?”_

Everything in Lexa picks up. Her breathing becomes rapid and unsteady as her chest visibly rises and falls with every second. Tris was only 9 years old when Lexa was recruited into The Ark. Now Tris was 18 and in college, and living a life every young adult should be living. Lexa has sent anonymous payments since she can remember, but has kept distance because she didn’t want to bring Tris into the shit storm that is her life.

“Don’t do you dare lay a hand on her.”

_“You have an hour to decide, Lexa. Otherwise I take my business elsewhere.”_

The call ends and Lexa throws her laptop across the room. She yells and curses and right now, all she wants to do is take a gun and put it to Nia’s head.

Lincoln moves to pick up the broken laptop and places it on the table. “Hey,” he whispers as he walks over Lexa. “Stop. Take a second to breathe. Don’t bail on us now.”

Lexa tilts her head back and closes her eyes. “I don’t know what to do,” she breathes.

“Do we really have a choice?” Luna asks.

Lincoln shakes his head. “Do you realise that by taking the deal, we’ll be making the deal with the devil?”

“We need the box,” Luna argues. “And they threatened Lexa’s foster sister!”

“So we go and get Tris and protect her. We don’t need Nia, we figure something else out,” Lincoln replies.

Lexa blocks out the banter between Lincoln and Luna. They both make good points but she isn’t thinking clearly at this point. All she could see is Tris. Nia made no direct threat, but she knows better. She knows exactly how Nia works.

Without a word to the other two, Lexa walks around to her phone. She checks a few things before pocketing it and grabbing her bag. “I’m heading out.”

“What?!” Luna yells. “We need to make a decision Lexa.”

“I’ll be back in 30 minutes.” Lexa makes her way towards the door and before she leaves she turns back to Lincoln and Luna, “Don’t follow.”

 

* * *

 

Lexa wanders through the park that’s a five-minute walk from her loft. It’s not just any park, but rather _the_ park that somehow always makes things better. Maybe it’s the quietness, or the stillness, maybe it’s the way the trees have been planted along the small lake or simply the memories that she holds here. But there is something about this park that holds a very special place in her heart.

Just before she and Clarke let themselves fall into a relationship, this was where they had their secret little meetings. This was their little place where they could forget that they were trained assassins and just _be_. This was the place where they’d go to, to forget about whatever problem, even if it was just for a while.

She walks through the park to her usual bench, but comes short when she sees Clarke sitting there also. Clarke has her head in her hands and Lexa’s heart picks up a few beats. She walks over quietly and takes a seat next to the woman. “Just like old times, huh?”

Clarke doesn’t have to open her eyes to know who was sitting beside her. “You know that there’s still a shoot to kill order on you, right?”

Lexa nods. “I know.” And they fall silent after that. Just like old times, they take whatever moment they need to gather their thoughts and try to work out what they needed to do. Lexa could probably take a few wild guesses to what was on Clarke’s mind but she doesn’t let herself think about it too much. She needs to focus on what she was going to do.

After a couple of minutes Clarke lets out a small sigh. “Should I even ask if you’re going to be there tonight?”

“No,” Lexa replies.

“How do you think you’re going to steal the box from Jaha?” Clarke asks. “You’ve got to be smarter than that. The whole place is going to be surrounded by Ark agents.”

Lexa shrugs slightly. “Who says anything about stealing it? I was invited to the auction.”

“Funny.”

“I’m not kidding. I’m assuming you’ve read the invitation?” Clarke nods so Lexa continues. “It’s at The Heights Hotel, 7pm. Clean party. $1,000,000 buy in due in…” Lexa looks down to her watch, “3 hours.”

Clarke sighs, realising that Lexa wasn’t lying. “Okay, but do you honestly think you’re going to beat Jaha in auction? You know he’s got deep pockets.”

Lexa takes a moment to decide whether or not she’s going to tell Clarke about Nia’s deal. So much could go wrong if Lexa says anything, but she knows that talking to Clarke will help her make her decision. It’s always worked in the past.

“Why haven’t you taken the shot?” Lexa asks, trying to deflect.

Clarke sighs. “You know why.”

There’s a pang in Lexa’s chest as she looks over to Clarke. The woman just remains starring head into the lake. “How did we end up here?” Lexa asks.

Clarke scoffs and shakes her head. “You’re the only one who answer that, Lexa.”

“I know sorry won’t cut it, but I am. I am sorry.”

Clarke turns to Lexa, her eyes doing everything they can to hold back the tears. “What are you sorry for? Faking your death? For making me believe that you were dead for the last four years? Coming back and waging this war against us? Or making me go against direct orders? Are you sorry for putting me and everyone who you once considered friends, in _this_ position?”

“All of the above,” Lexa whispers. “I never wanted to put you or anyone in the middle of this.”

“A bit too late for that now, isn’t it?” Clarke pauses and takes a few deep breaths.

“I’m sorry.”

Clarke shakes her head and bites her bottom lip. “I lost two people I loved that day. A lost a big part of me when my dad died and when I _thought_ you died. It took me so long to feel like myself again. But I got there.” She pauses. “And then you come back and that part of me is just lost again. And I hate you because you don’t even seem the least bit affected.”

“You think that this has been easy for me?” Lexa argues. “You just assume that the choices I’ve made have been easy because why? Because I’m making them? Because I’m moving forward with my plans to bring down The Ark?” She watches as Clarke lets out harsh sigh. “Do you really think that it hasn’t been hard for me to see _you_ again? Do you know how many scenarios I’ve gone through to see if I could even begin to apologise to you?”

“I never thought I could hate you.”

“I know,” Lexa whispers. “But don’t you dare say that this is easy for me. I would give the world and more to be living a ‘normal’ life in… _Napa Valley_. But that isn’t our lives. _This_ is.”

“You had the chance. You could be living a life,” Clarke points out.

“Not a good one,” Lexa replies. “We have so much blood on our hands, Clarke. Plus, it would have been lonely in Napa without you.”

Clarke sighs, frustrated. “You have to stop saying things like that, Lexa.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m meant to hate you right now.”

A silence falls between them and Lexa’s heart is heavy. The weight of the conversation brings her down even further. She was meant to be figuring out her next move and here she was, doing anything but that.

“Nia made me an offer,” Lexa reveals.

“Quin?”

"The one and only," Lexa nods. “She’ll back my auction tonight.”

“At what price?” Clarke asks. It wasn’t a surprise that Nia was okay with going against Jaha. She’s always been the type of person who would do anything to get what she wanted.

“I can’t tell you that.”

Clarke raises an eyebrow. “And you’re really considering it?”

Lexa shrugs, “Don’t judge me like that. You don’t know the whole story and I don’t really have a choice.”

“There’s always a choice.”

Lexa laughs. “You know that’s not true. If there was always a choice, you and I would not be here.”

“Fuck you, Lexa.” Another silence falls between the two of them and it’s as tense as ever. “I might hate you but I’m telling you not to take that deal. You are smarter than that and you know Nia. She’s relentless and will take more from you than what she’s asking.”

“I don’t have a lot left to lose, Clarke. And Nia has…” Lexa trails off.

“Nia’s has what?”

Lexa shakes her head. “I shouldn't have come here, i'm sorry.” And with that Lexa is up and leaving, ignoring how Clarke doesn’t call after her. It’s a deafening silence but she knows what she has to do.

She has to take deal.

 

* * *

 

Lexa, Lincoln and Luna arrive at The Heights Hotel right on 7pm. As they wait in line they can see that it’s a full fledge party. There is a lot of people everywhere and with the fact that it’s the 21st century, every second person has a phone out. There’s no way of telling who is part of the auction.

As they pass through security, Lexa turns to Luna. “All good?”

Luna taps at her thigh to indicate that what she had under her dress had passed through security without a problem. “All I had to do was wink and he let me pass.”

Lincoln laughs.

“How are we going to use it though?” Luna asks.

“I don’t know,” Lexa answers truthfully. “But it may come in handy.”

Lincoln rubs his hands together, “Alright, let’s go and spend some money.”

After Lexa gets her bidding phone, there three of them make their way through the party. They’ve been told that the phone will unlock at 8 and that’s when the bidding will start. For now, all they could do was wait.

It doesn’t take long for them to spot the Ark agents in the crowd. But fortunately for them, they all seem to be following Owen’s rule of it being a “clean” party. All Lexa has to worry about is what’s going to happen when they leave the building. In the mean time she sends Lincoln to go see if he can get anything on Roan, given that they were friends a long time ago.

“Isn’t that your agent over there?” Luna asks, motioning her head towards the bar.

Lexa nods as she sees Octavia ahead. She’s alone but can see a few other Ark agents very close by.

“How’s the plan to get her tracker out?”

“Still working on it,” Lexa replies.

“Let’s go say hi.” Luna looks to see Lexa raising an eyebrow at her. “Without making it look suss,” she clarifies. “We’re just two people who want a drink and Octavia just so happens to be at the bar as well.”

Lexa questions it for a moment but figures it would be okay. For anyone else it would look like she’s just rattling the Ark cage a little more. But hopefully for Octavia, it would give her some reassurance that everything is going to plan so far.

The two of them make their way up towards the bar and manage to grab Octavia’s attention. But before Lexa could say anything she feels someone approach her from behind, with the tip of a knife poking into her lower back. Before Lexa could turn around to see who it is, she watches Octavia push the agent away.

“What the hell are you doing, Ontari?” Octavia whispers.

Ontari regains her footing and slips her knife back into the inside of her jacket. “It’s Lexa,” she grits.

“Hi,” Lexa nods, unimpressed.

Octavia rolls her eyes. “I can see that.”

“Didn’t you get the memo, little girl?” Luna asks. “ _Clean_ party. No weapons. I wonder how happy Jaha would be if The Ark got kicked out for not following the rules.”

“ _Is there a problem here?”_

They all see Anya approach the group, with Clarke not even a few steps behind.

Lexa’s breath hitches seeing Anya again. It may have been years since she’s last seen and heard from her (ex)mentor but this not the time of place to dwell on it. Because even if she is a rogue agent now, she knows that Anya would be judging her every single move from here on out. “Your agent here had a knife pressed into my back,” Lexa says.

Anya raises an eyebrow and looks between Lexa and Ontari.

“It’s true,” Octavia whispers.

“Agent Black?” Anya asks.

Ontari steps forward and Luna is quick to step in front of the young woman to stop her from getting closer. Lexa shakes her head and places her hand on Luna’s shoulder to say that it was fine.

“She’s right here!” Ontari yells. “Are we _really_ not going to do anything?”

“Yes,” Anya replies. She offers no other explanation and instead looks over to Clarke.

Clarke nods. She speaks into her mic, “ _Roan. Agent Black is being reassigned to outside. Have Agent Halt disarm and send her inside.”_

“Go,” Anya instructs. “Don’t think you’re getting away with this either.”

Ontari grunts but follows orders.

Lexa watches as Anya turns back towards them. Despite the fact that Anya was her mentor and the two of them worked together all those years ago – Anya is still as intimidating as ever. But she gets over the feeling quickly.

“Where’s the third musketeer?” Anya asks.

Lexa raises and eyebrow. “Who?”

“Lincoln.”

Lexa scoffs. “You’ve grown a sense of humour.”

“Are we going to have a problem tonight?” Clarke asks, looking between Lexa and Luna.

Luna shakes her head. “No problem here. Just make sure you keep your agents in line, Griffin.”

“You’re bidding for the box?” Anya asks. Lexa nods. “You _really_ think that you can outbid Jaha?”

Lexa nods again. This time her eyes fall over to Clarke. “I’ve got friends with deep pockets,” she responds. In instant she can see Clarke react to the news that Lexa has accepted Nia’s deal. Lexa doesn’t have a choice. She needs the money to get the box and if it meant making a deal with the devil herself, then so be it. 

The silence that falls between the women is interrupted as Lexa’s phone dings. Bidding for the box was now in play. In an instant the first bid is put forth.

          [China]: $2,000,000

Lexa shows the phone to Luna who nods in response. She looks back up to Anya, Clarke and Octavia and holds up her drink. “Let the games begin.”

Anya steps away without another word.

Clarke watches Lexa for a moment, before stepping away too. She taps Octavia on the shoulder, gesturing for her to follow. Octavia mouths a quiet “good luck” before leaving.

Lexa nods with a small smile as she watches the three women walk away. Her phone vibrates again.

          [Germany]: $2,500,000

          [Italy]: $2,750,000

          [Russia]: $3,000,000

“You’re not going to make a play yet?” Luna asks.

Lexa shakes her head. “We still have some time.”

The night carries on and Lexa and Luna keep to themselves mostly. Lincoln joins them too, as they watch the bidding increase between the players. At the moment it's at $8,000,000, and while Lexa had Nia’s backing – it was still making her super anxious. She didn’t know how much these others players were ready to spend.

Sometime during the night, Lexa manages to steal Octavia away for a couple of minutes to update her on the situation. It’s very brief because there are Ark agents quite literally _everywhere_ but Lexa tells Octavia about her deal with Nia.

Though Octavia isn’t happy about the deal, she knows that Lexa didn’t have much of a choice – especially if Tris was involved now. She tells Lexa that she’ll help in any way she can and will see if she can get any information on Roan. She also mentions that she’ll see if she can get access to the file Nia wants, but Lexa is sure her current clearance level would not be enough.

When Lexa returns to Lincoln and Luna, she notices that Lincoln’s hands are slightly shaking _again_. And that’s when she remembers that they’re low on _Red._ They’ve been rationing out the remaining pills and while they’ve both been weening off the drug, but it still isn't enough. This is something else that she needs to figure out also. She needs to help Lincoln and Luna get off the drug completely.

“What’s it up to?” Lexa asks as she approaches.

“10 and half,” Luna answers. “How’s your agent?”

“Good.”

“Ark has slowed down their bidding though,” Lincoln cut in.

Lexa shakes her head. “That doesn’t mean anything. We haven’t placed a bid yet and we have the ability to outbid still.”

Lincoln hands back the phone to Lexa.  “When are we going to play our cards?”

Checking the time, Lexa sees that there’s about 15 minutes left till the auction would end. “Right now,” she replies.

“Wait,” Luna whispers as she places her hand on Lexa’s shoulder. “I want to see Jaha’s face when he sees you start bidding.” She looks around the room till she finds Jaha over by a table, surrounded by his agents.

Lexa manages to laugh a little, before stealing a glance over at Jaha too. She looks back at her phone, watching as the bidding becomes a lot more frantic.

          [Ark]: $10,750,000

          [Russia]: $11,000,000

Lexa types in her first bid.

          [Commander]: $11,250,000

She actually laughs, seeing the name that Owen had set up on her phone. Once it goes through, she, Lincoln and Luna immediately look up to Jaha. The widest grins appear on all three of their faces as they visibly see Jaha at a loss for words as Lexa enters the game.

“That’s the look I wanted,” Luna smirks.

Lincoln smirks too. “He didn’t see it coming.”

Lexa’s eyes fall back down to her phone, seeing as she’s been outbid already. “It’s far from over.” For the next couple of minutes, Lexa watches as the bidding increases at a faster rate. The only bidders that seem to be left was China, Russia, The Ark and herself.

There’s three minutes left.

          [China]: $12,000,000

          [Ark]: $13,000,000

“Shit,” Lincoln mumbles. “Up by millions now.”

          [Russia]: $14,000,000

          [Ark]: $15,000,000

_Two minutes._

“Jaha’s not playing around,” Luna says.

Lexa hums in response. “Nia gave us $20 million, if it goes higher than that I’ll have to dip into my own money.”

“We can split it,” Lincoln reassures.

          [China]: $16,000,000

          [Ark]: $17,000,000

_One minute._

Lexa sighs. “Let’s just hope it doesn’t come down to it.

          [Commander]: $18,000,000

          [Ark]: $19,000,000

_Twenty seconds._

They all watch as neither China or Russia seem counter to the offer. Lexa needs to play it smart with her final bid. Too early, Jaha will outbid her and she won't have enough time to counter back. But too late and there's a chance the bid won't go through. There are mere seconds left, she couldn’t afford to stuff up now.

_Ten seconds._

“Come on, Lex,” Lincoln whispers.

Luna nods, “You got one shot at this.”

_Five seconds._

_Four._

Lexa places her bid.

[Commander]: $20,000,000

_Three._

They all watch the screen intently.

_Two._

_One._


	9. welcome home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the result of the auction, part of lexa's deal with Nia and One Other Pretty Big Thing

The seconds before the auction is over are the longest seconds of the night. Lexa is essentially holding her breath as she waits to see if she has won or not. Lincoln and Luna are standing beside her completely still, probably feeling the same emotions she’s currently feeling. The time ticks over to midnight and the screen updates.

<< AUCTION OVER >>

Lexa lets out a long breath, there isn’t anything she can do now. She waits, feeling Lincoln and Luna shift slightly beside her as well. “Come on, come on,” Lexa mutters.Then they get the message they have been waiting more.

<< CONGRATULATIONS, COMMANDER >>

Lexa lets out a sigh of relief, passing the phone to Lincoln and bringing her hands to her face. It registers that she’s won the black box, but it doesn’t _fully_ register. It’s a confusing moment for her still, but she’s won. She can move forward with her plan.

“We did it,” Luna whispers.

Lexa nods. “We did.”

Just at that moment some security guards approach them, introducing themselves as part of Owen’s group. The guards tell Lexa, Lincoln and Luna to follow them and they essentially provide security as they make their way through the party. Lexa doesn’t miss the way Jaha and the other Ark agents stare as she walks past but she doesn’t care.

They walk out of the main party room and towards a quieter room in the hotel. As Lexa and Luna head inside, Lincoln remains on guard outside just to make sure no one unexpected waltzes into the room.

 

* * *

 

The moment the auction ends, Clarke’s eyes are on Lexa. It’s just an automatic reaction (and part of her hates it). She watches, waiting for some sort of reaction from the woman and the two people beside her.

Jaha mutters a constant string of profanities. He made counter bid to the 20 million but is unsure if it had gone through or not. Now they were just waiting to see who had won the auction. It’s a few moments later that they realise that they did not win. Lexa, Lincoln and Luna walk past with a shield of guards escorting them out of the room.

Extra guards come and stand in front of them, as some extra precaution. Again, Jaha mutters under his breath as he’s clearly mad, angry and pissed off at the outcome of the night's events. But what surprises Clarke is that she doesn’t care that they lost. She’s just more worried about what will happen now. They did run through a few plans if this exact thing were to happen. And none of them were good.

Once Owen’s guards move away, Clarke turns back to Jaha. He looks as if he’s in a deep train of thought so everyone just gives him the space and time to mull things over. 

“Anya, Clarke, with me,” Jaha whispers. “Everyone else, outside. Execute plan A.”

“Sir?” Clarke asks.

Jaha lifts up his hand. “Follow me.”

Clarke and Anya follow Jaha out of the room. It doesn’t take them too long to spot where the guards are guiding Lexa, Lincoln and Luna. They follow but keep their distance.

“Should we really be doing this _here_?” Clarke asks.

Jaha keeps his cool. “We’re not doing anything,” he responds.

They watch as Lexa and Luna enter the room and Lincoln remains standing outside, presumably to make sure no unexpected guests crash the party. _Smart._ As they approach Lincoln, Clarke honestly just wants Jaha to drop it. She obviously isn’t going to say this out loud, but she’s fucking exhausted.

“Lincoln,” Jaha greets.

Lincoln remains standing in front of the door with his arms folded across his chest.

“You must be running low on _Red_ by now,” Jaha continues.

And just at that moment Clarke watches as Lincoln’s hand shake slightly. Her heart breaks because she knew about the drug. Lincoln was obviously cut off when he decided to go rogue and she had no idea how they were handling that.

“I’m fine,” Lincoln replies. He looks seemingly unfazed by it all and he keeps his cool, with his voice remaining soft and calm.

“You know if you come back you will get what you need, right away.” Jaha points to Anya, “I can have Agent Carson bring you some _Red_ by the end of the night.”

Lincoln shakes his head. “I’m fine,” he repeats.

Jaha chuckles. “Always a man of few words. Do you really think you and your little band will be able to defeat me?”

“We did tonight, didn’t we?” Lincoln raises an eyebrow, “And if anything, I’m pretty sure you’re on the edge of your seat right now.”

“How did you manage to outbid me?” Jaha asks.

Lincoln shrugs and doesn’t respond with anything else. Just a few seconds later the door behind Lincoln opens and Lexa and Luna are stepping out, along with a few guards.

Clarke watches and she had no idea how the next few moments are going to play out. Ark agents were ready outside to execute plan A but that plan all rested on how things were going to play out here.

 

* * *

 

Owen steps out from the room as well. “Ah, Jaha, well played tonight.”

Jaha simply shakes his head in response.

Owen then turns to Lexa, Lincoln and Luna. “My guards will escort you out but that’s as far as they go.”

Lexa nods and grips her handbag just slightly as they walk past Jaha, Clarke and Anya. She doesn’t make eye contact with them, keeping her eyes straight ahead with the one goal to get out of here. Lincoln and Luna walk at either side of her as they _hope_ they get away scot free.

When they’re outside, the guards leave them and the three of them switch on completely. Not that they weren’t before, but now they knew that Ark agents would be coming for them. They make their way to their car and as expected, they are surrounded within a couple of feet from their vehicle.

All Ark agents have their guns pointed at them and it’s not a surprise. Lexa, Lincoln and Luna put their backs to the car and wait. Lexa looks around at the people surrounding her. There are a few familiar faces; Octavia, Ontari and Alpha team.

Jaha approaches moments later, “Do you _really_ think that you would have gotten away with my black box?”

“Yes,” Lexa replies, gripping her bag tighter.

Jaha gestures to his agents, “You’re surrounded.”

Lexa hands over her bag towards Lincoln and steps forward. All the agents step forward as well but Jaha motions for them to stand down. Her breathing is heavy and she only has one chance to make a move. Without another thought, she steps towards Anya and manages to steal the gun out of her hands. Lexa twists Anya into a choke hold from behind and pulls her old mentor back towards the car. “I can still take a few of you out,” she says as she points the gun right to Jaha.

Anya struggles against the hold, but Lexa keeps her in line by placing the end of the gun at her temple. Lincoln and Luna have also knocked out a few of the agents, allowing them to arm themselves.

Jaha shakes his head. “You’re out numbered, Lexa. You will all die and I’ll still get the box.”

“I don’t see a way I’m getting out of this alive anyways,” Lexa points out.

Clarke lifts her hands up in surrender. She places the gun back in her holster and steps forward cautiously. This is not part of the plan but she has to make sure that Lexa didn’t anything stupid. Lexa’s actions were definitely rash at this point and Clarke is sure she doesn’t want to hurt Anya. “Lexa, you don’t have to do this,” Clarke whispers.

“Just take the shot!” Anya yells.

Lexa tightens her grip around Anya’s neck.

“I’ll make you a deal,” Jaha says. “Let Anya go, give us the box and I’ll let you three leave with your lives.”

Lexa raises an eyebrow. “I don’t believe you.”

“You should. The only thing I want _tonight_ is that box.” Jaha stops and wait for a response.

“So the student has become the master,” Anya chuckles. She tries to escape the hold but fails when Lexa trails the tip of her gun around her temple again.

Jaha speaks up again, “Our fight is for another day, Lexa.”

“Take it Lexa,” Luna whispers. “We need our lives to finish this.”

Lexa pushes Anya forward but the keeps the gun trained on Jaha. “Pass me the box,” she whispers to Lincoln. He complies, unzips the bag and hands over the box.

Lexa toys with it for a moment. “You’re not going to get away with this.”

“We’ll see,” Jaha shrugs.

“Lincoln, start the car,” Lexa instructs. She waits until the hum of the engine starts until she makes her next move. Slowly, she places the box on the ground and slips into the car as Luna opens the door for her. The moment she closes the door, the tyres are screeching against the road and they’re off.

Lexa lets out a major sigh of relief once they’re on the move.

“You think they brought it?” Luna asks. She hikes up her dress to reveal the _real_ black box strapped to the inside of her leg.

Earlier in the day when they made the deal with Nia, they knew they needed an escape plan. The had a good chance of winning the box however, The Ark had the upper advantage in terms of numbers.

So Lincoln set to work on making a replica which Luna strapped to her leg when they entered the party. Before they left the room with Owen, they had switched the boxes around and just prayed that it was going to work.

Lexa manages to laugh a little. “Well we’re still alive and we’ve got the real box. So yeah, I think we’re good.”

 

* * *

 

Once Lexa’s car speeds off, Jaha steps forward and grabs the box without a second thought. Everyone starts to head back into the garage but something doesn’t fit right for Clarke. The moment she and the other Ark agents made their move, something was off. Lexa was one of the best agents The Ark has ever seen, but her actions tonight did not reflect that. It might have been four years but Clarke knew that Lexa’s skills would not have deteriorated during that time.

As they walk back to their vehicles, Clarke just can’t shake the thought that something is wrong. Lexa barely put up a fight and out of all the people she decided to take – she took Anya. She took someone who was once her mentor. Clarke would bet her life that there was no way Lexa would have hurt Anya in any way.

From day one, agents are trained to always have a backup plan. And just now, from what Clarke saw, Lexa basically just spent $20 million on the box to give it right back to Jaha. Then it hits her.

_The box._

She jogs up to Jaha. “Sir, can I take a look at the box?”

Jaha nods. He comes to a stop and hands over the box. “What’s the matter?”

“I think–” Clarke is cut off when someone’s ringtone starts going off. Usually a phone ringing isn’t a big deal, but it’s a non-standard Ark tone in a space filled with Ark agents.

The agents come to a stop to try and find the source of the sounds. It surprises everyone when it’s Anya who pulls out an iPhone from her jacket pocket. “This isn’t mine…” she whispers.

“Answer it.” Jaha frowns.

Anya nods and answers the FaceTime call.

“ _Put Jaha on the line.”_

“It’s Lexa,” Anya says as she hands over the phone to Jaha.

“Are you calling to finally surrender?” Jaha asks.

“ _Not exactly.”_

Clarke and Anya step closer to Jaha so that they can watch the call as well.

“ _Won’t keep you long,”_ Lexa continues. “ _I just wanted to show you something.”_

The video then turns around so that it’s pointing to the ground, and on the ground was what looked to be the black box. Clarke tightens her grip on the one she has and just knows that she’s holding a fake. Three shots are then fired into the box, completely obliterating the thing.

Lexa turns the video back to her. “ _Three down, three to go.”_

Jaha hands the phone to Anya and takes the black box from Clarke. He inspects it carefully and within a few seconds he knows that it’s a fake too. He smashes it to the ground. “HOW THE HELL DID THIS HAPPEN?!”  

 

* * *

 

When they were sure no one was tailing them, they had pulled over into a deserted area and destroyed the box. Lexa didn’t like the idea of have a fully functional black box in her possession. The only goal for the boxes was to destroy them so that Jaha didn’t have the ability to release the information to the world. It was just too dangerous.

When Lexa is done with the phone, she throws it to the ground and shoots the thing as well. She picks up the pieces of the shattered black box and the three of them make their way back to Lexa’s loft.

They kind of fall into an Ark routine, where they end up having a post-mission meeting of some sorts. They go over everything again and talk about what their next move is going to be. Lincoln also tells Lexa and Luna that he wasn’t able to get anything out of Roan (which isn’t actually a surprise). They’re just going to have to figure out another way to dig up the dirt on the man.

By 2am, Lincoln and Luna leave the loft and Lexa is left alone to ponder in her own thoughts. This was nothing new though. She honestly doesn’t remember a night where she’s been able to get more than four hours of sleep. Usually, she lays in bed and stares blankly at her ceiling and tonight would probably be no different.

Everything piles on slowly as she lays in bed, surrounded completely by the dark.

  1. She needs to get her hand on some more _Red_
  2. She needs to get the tracker out of Octavia
  3. She needs to make sure Octavia doesn’t get caught
  4. There are still three black boxes she needs to find and destroy
  5. Lexa has to get Nia what she wants otherwise Tris might be in danger



And she needs to do all of this with The Ark right on her tail. Her thoughts interrupted as she sees her phone light up the room. It’s Octavia calling.

“Hey, you okay?” Lexa greets in a quiet voice.

“ _Yeah I’m good. Just got back to my apartment. Jaha is furious.”_

Lexa smiles softly. “Good.”

“ _No Lexa, he’s like really furious. He’s offering a reward to anyone who brings you in, dead or alive.”_

“That’s not a surprise.” Lexa pauses and brings her hands to rub her eyes. “This is good. He’s rattled and scared and on edge.”

“ _He’s going to kill you, Lexa.”_

“Maybe…” Lexa whispers.

“ _What the hell am I supposed to do if that happens? I can’t do this without you.”_

“We talked about this, Octavia.”

“ _I know we did. All you do is talk about your death.”_

There’s a pause and Lexa smiles again. It wasn’t a funny situation but she can’t help it. “You can trust Lincoln and Luna. There’s also B.”

“ _Ah yes, B. The secret woman I’ve only ever heard of for the last four years. Sure she isn’t a figment of your imagination?”_

“We wouldn’t be here without her,” Lexa replies. “She’s can’t exactly just ‘show up’.”

“ _Yeah, so you say.”_ There’s a pause. _“What’s your next move? I’m assuming Nia’s going to call upon you soon.”_

Lexa nods. “Yeah. She sent me Roan’s schedule so I’m going to tail him for the next couple of days while Lincoln and Luna track down the next Reaper.”

“ _What about the file she asked for? I can go in and take a look around–”_

“–No,” Lexa interjects. “Whatever this file is, it’s got to be important and the moment you try and access it, higher ups will know.”

“ _I can’t just sit around and do nothing though.”_

“You’re not. Keep doing what you’ve been doing Octavia. Heads down, ears open. We still have to take The Ark down bit by bit from the inside.”

“ _Okay.”_

Lexa pauses for a moment. She can hear quiet movements over the phone as if Octavia was moving about her own place. “How are things between with you and your brother?”

“ _Are we really doing this?”_

Lexa shrugs slightly. “If you want.” She keeps her eyes trained to the ceiling as she listens to the faint breathing coming from the other end of the line.

“ _When I first went in, I thought I would be ready to see Bellamy, you know? I already knew he was alive and I had like four years to prepare myself.”_

“But nothing can really compare you for something like… _that_ ,” Lexa whispers.

Octavia hums in response. “ _And I mean, we’ve talked a little more over the past few months but not about what happened when he left. I feel like if I open that can of worms, everything will just go to shit.”_ There’s another pause. “ _He keeps telling me that he did it for me, that The Ark made promises but I just don’t know if I believe it.”_

“Why not?” Lexa asks. “Do you realise that your brother and I are almost in the same situation?” She lets Octavia process her question. It's true. The situations were different but ultimately, they both left because they thought it was the right thing to do. What they did after they left leads to two different stories but that initial choice was the same.

“ _The situations are totally different.”_

Lexa nods. “Yes, but the first choice we made isn’t. He left because he thought it would help you. And you and I both know that if Ark agents got to him, he probably didn’t have a choice.” She stops again and takes a breath. “And I left because I thought– I think that I can still help… my people.”

“ _Your people don’t seem like they want the help.”_

“Seems like it, doesn’t it?” Lexa laughs softly. “But you’re in there. You can understand how they’ve been trained to think that they’re doing the right thing.”

_“Yeah…”_

Lexa sighs. “I’m not going to tell you that you _have_ to talk to your brother or do anything for that fact. It’s completely your decision. But what I’m trying to say is that the choices your brother have made aren’t too far from the ones I’ve made – and you understand my choices.”

“ _Are you ever wrong? I hate that you always seem to be right.”_

“Don’t jinx it,” Lexa smiles.

“ _Why did you take Anya tonight?”_ Octavia asks. “ _That couldn’t have been easy.”_

“It wasn’t.”

_“I was right there. You could have taken me.”_

Lexa shakes her head. “It would look suspicious if I took you for a second time. We don’t need unnecessary eyes on you while you’re still undercover.”

“ _Anya’s a good teacher.”_

“She is.”

“ _You are too, Lexa.”_

Lexa swallows the lump in her throat. This is the first real conversation she’s had with Octavia since she learnt that the chip also doubled up as a kill chip. She’s been going back and forth trying to decide whether or not she should say anything yet. On one hand, the last thing she wants to do is cause a panic. But on the other, it doesn’t feel right not saying anything. Octavia’s the one with the chip in her, the one who could drop dead in just a second.

Lexa clears her throat slightly. “Get some sleep, Octavia. Tomorrow’s another day.”

“ _Night, Lexa.”_

She hangs up the call and throws her phone to the side. She will tell Octavia about the chip, when she has a plan for how to get it out of her system. Octavia already has enough on her plate with The Ark, it would not help (the bigger picture) if Lexa told her before they had a plan to take it out.

 

* * *

 

The following day is spent mostly in the loft.

Lincoln and Luna work tirelessly to try and track down the next Reaper. All they have so far is that they are somewhere in Thailand. In a population of over 68 million people it’s not going to be an easy task. But they were two (ex) Reapers who knew what to look for so that was at least a start.

With her trust fully in Lincoln and Luna’s capabilities, Lexa focuses on Roan. Nia had sent her an invitation earlier to a party he’s hosting tonight so she’s doing her research and seeing how she should proceed with her next move. She doesn’t like the idea of doing this but she doesn’t really have a choice.

“Do you need us at the party?” Lincoln asks.

Lexa shakes her head but doesn’t look up from her screen. “It’s not an Ark party so I’ll be fine. You guys need to focus on finding the other Reaper.”

“How are you going to get in?” Luna asks. “It might not be an Ark party but I don’t imagine Roan just casually inviting you.”

“I’ve got a date in,” Lexa replies.

“Really? How did you manage that?”

Lexa shrugs slightly. “I have my ways.” She pauses to finish typing away at her computers before looking back up. “How are you guys going?”

Lincoln shakes his head slightly. “We’ve narrowed it down to three possible cities but it’s still too big of a range.”

“We’ll keep working,” Luna adds.  

Lexa nods and makes her way to her wardrobe. She flicks through her clothes one at a time. She didn’t really have a lot in the way of fancy clothes, but she knew how to make the most of what she had. After a while she manages to pick out what she’s wearing to the party. It’s a simple black cocktail dress and the best thing about it – it has pockets.

 

* * *

 

Later that night, Lexa manages to get into the party without a problem. Again, it’s another one of your high-class parties with guests in fancy dresses and suits, fancy champagne and fancy foods. Everything is just so _fancy._ It’s the early hours of the night and the guests are still steadily flowing into the hall. But Lexa’s focus remains on Roan – who makes his way around the place trying to be a good host.

During Lexa’s time as an agent, her relationship with Roan didn’t go much further than what they did at “work”. They were on Alpha team together and probably saved each other’s lives more times than they could remember. But that was it, that was their work. When she sees him walking over, Lexa straightens herself up against the bar.

“ _Lexa.”_

“Evening, Roan,” Lexa replies. “Nice party.”

Roan leans against the bar and orders himself a drink before turning to Lexa. “And is it going to remain a nice party?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Roan says, “Things never go to plan when you show up. I don’t need you messing things up tonight.”

“What is there to mess up?” Lexa asks, trying to get some information out of him.

The bartender hands Roan his drink and he laughs a little. “That’s none of your business.”

“Roan…” Lexa breathes.

“–You know that there’s a kill order on you, right?”

“And are you going to follow orders or?”

Roan shakes his head. “I’m off duty and you are not my priority tonight. As long as you stay out of my hair, I’ll stay out of yours.”

Lexa nods. “Understood.”

“How did you even get in? It’s an invite only party.”

“Lilly Rose,” Lexa smiles.

“Lilly?” Roan laughs. “Lilly of Polis Tech, _Lilly?”_

“ _Did someone say my name?”_

Lexa turns around to see Lilly walk towards them.

“Ah, Mr Quin, this is a beautiful party,” Lilly says.

Roan’s overall presence shifts. “Miss Rose, it’s an honour to meet you.” He offers his hands and the two share a welcoming handshake. “Thank you for coming.”

“I hope you’re not trying to steal my date tonight,” Lilly jokes.

Roan’s eyes go slightly wide. “I wasn’t aware you two knew each other.”

“I could say the same. How do you know Lexa?”

“Work,” Roan replies. “And you?”

Lilly smiles and looks over to Lexa. “We have a mutual friend.” Roan excuses himself after that to meet some other guests as Lilly orders a drink for herself. She turns to Lexa, “You must be pretty important to B if she’s calling in favours for you.”

Lexa just hums in response. “What’s this party for? It seems like an Ice Nation party, but why isn’t his mother here?”

Lilly takes a sip of her drink and leans in to Lexa slightly. “Word is that Roan’s after his mother’s company. This party is him trying to suck up to the board.”

Lexa nods along as Lilly talks a little more about Roan’s plans. It’s nothing too extravagant and it honestly didn’t sound too bad. Nia’s reputation in the industry is less than desirable and from what Lilly is saying, it _seems_ like Roan wants to change that. But the key word is _seems_ and Lexa isn’t here to form an opinion on what is happening.

 

The night continues and Lexa is left alone again. She manages to cross by a few people who tell her a little about what is happening. It’s stuff that she already knows, information that won’t get them in trouble for sharing. Or in other words, information that does not really help Lexa in any way.

After doing a few laps of the party, Lexa is once again at the bar. She toys with her phone, a little anxious about how much progress Lincoln and Luna have made during the night. It’s only when she gets a notification on her phone that is she drawn back to reality.

“Shit,” she mumbles. Lexa takes a final swig of her drink and decides that she’s had enough of the party. But just as she’s leaving the bar she bumps into Clarke.

“Clarke,” Lexa breathes.

“What is a rogue Ark agent doing at a non-Ark event?” Clarke asks softly, leaning against the bar and gesturing for the bartender.

Lexa sighs and makes herself comfortable by the bar again. “What’s an Ark agent doing at a non-Ark event?” she counters.

“Roan asked me to come,” Clarke replies. Lexa stares around the room to see if there are any other Ark agents around. “It’s just me. I’m just… an extra pair of eyes just in case you get any bright ideas tonight.”

Lexa runs her fingers through her hair. “So I’ve got two Ark agents going against the kill order on me tonight. That must be a record.”

Clarke turns to face Lexa and raises an eyebrow.

“I just assume that there’s always a kill order on me. Jaha isn’t exactly a fan.”

“You keep playing this like it’s a game, Lexa.” Clarke pauses and takes a sip of her drink. “One seriously, fucked up game.”

“This isn’t a game to me, Clarke.”

Clarke scoffs. “What about that little stunt you pulled at the auction? You put a gun to Anya’s head. I don’t know if I’m angry or just… disappointed. She was your mentor. Your _friend._ ”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Lexa replies softly.

“I was there. I saw it with my own two eyes.”

Lexa shakes her head. “You think you know what’s going on. But you don’t know the half of it.”

“Would you care to enlighten me then?” Clarke asks. “Why don’t you start with why you’re here at Roan’s party?”

Lexa doesn’t reply straight away.  She more caught up in the fact that she’s actually having a conversation with Clarke again. There’s this unexplainable calmness that Clarke brings to the conversation – despite the situation they’re in. It’s like they were back in a time where they could talk about anything and everything together, even if it meant that they were disagreeing on the topic of conversation.

“Did Nia ask you to be here?” Clarke asks.

Lexa gives her a question look. “How–”

“Come on, Lexa,” Clarke replies. “It may have been four years but you can’t have forgotten how good of an agent I am. Actually… I’m pretty sure I’m probably better than you remember.”

“I don’t doubt that.”

“So are you going to tell me why you’re here? It would make both our lives a lot easier.”

“Unlikely,” Lexa whispers. She pauses. “Did you know Roan wants to take over the company?”

Clarke nods. “I did. I’m surprised he told you.”

“He didn’t.”

“Of course. I should have known,” Clarke laughs. “Wouldn’t be the worst thing though, would it?”

It scares Lexa at how ‘normal’ the conversation has turned. She knows she shouldn’t relish too much in it, but it’s so hard not to. Clarke has this affect over her and despite the years they’ve spent a part – it’s still as strong as ever. They should be anywhere but here, together, but like the tide to the shore, they always seem to find their way back to each other.

After a few moments Clarke speaks up again, “Do you know Octavia?”

Everything within Lexa stills and her breathing comes to a pause. “Who?” she whispers back as calmly as she can.

“The recruit’s graduation you crashed.” Clarke pauses. “She was the agent with us when Ontari had the knife to your back at the auction.”

Lexa nods. “Ah, right.”

“She’s Bellamy’s sister,” Clarke reveals.

Lexa’s breath hitches. This is honestly the last thing she was expecting to talk to Clarke about and to be honest, she felt like she skating on thin ice. She can come up with no reasonable explanation to why Clarke is telling her this.

Clarke gives a small shrug to Lexa’s silence. “I thought you should know.”

“Why?”

“We were all… friends at one point, Lexa.”

Lexa laughs. “That was a lifetime ago.”

“Bellamy wasn’t happy to hear that you took Octavia like that.”

“I wouldn’t have hurt her,” Lexa replies. “My fight isn’t with her, or with you.”

“But–”

“But I know that you are caught in the middle of it,” Lexa continues. “I’m not an idiot, Clarke. I am well aware of everyone I am going against, directly and indirectly.”

“People will die in this fight, Lexa.”

Lexa nods apologetically. “I know. But how much more people will die all in the name of The Ark? How much more people will The Ark “save” only to give them no choice in the matter of their future? How much more evil will they bring into power across the nation?” She pauses and watches Clarke’s reaction – or lack thereof. “You see it, don’t you? You see where I’m coming from?”

“Of course I do,” Clarke reveals. And it’s a surprise for both of them as the word slips from her mouth. “I’m not an idiot either, Lexa. I know what The Ark is.”

“It’s not too late to be on the right side of this,” Lexa whispers.

“ _Right_ is subjective, Lexa.” Clarke pauses and shakes her head. “These are my people. I have to fight with them.”

“Fight _for_ them,” Lexa replies. Just at that moment, she gets a 911 text from Lincoln. “I have to go.” She leaves without waiting for a response. Lexa says a quick goodbye to Lilly and thanks her again for getting her into the party.

She gets about a hundred feet from the building before she feels someone following her. Lexa slips into the alleyway and waits and is caught off guard when she sees that it’s Clarke who’s been following her.

“You really think you can tail me?!” Lexa asks as she sees Clarke.

“No,” Clarke breathes. She steps closer and slowly backs Lexa against the wall.

Lexa finds that her breathing picks up dramatically. Her back hits the brick wall and she doesn’t know why she’s caught in this trance (That’s a lie. The reason is standing right in front of her). She should be able to step aside and step away, but she looks into the blue eyes before her and she can’t help it, she sees the stars and the galaxies just like she did all those years ago.

Everything around them stills.

Clarke steps closer and Lexa’s heartbeat beats faster. One more step and their bodies will be pressed against each other – but Clarke doesn’t take it. “Clarke…” Lexa whispers again. “What are you doing?”

“I don’t know.” Clarke is internally shaking at this point. She did not know what she was doing but she can’t find the strength to step away. They were so close and god – Clarke finds herself missing everything about Lexa in this moment. She is overwhelmed with a wave of emotions and can feel the tears pooling in her eyes. Her heart is beating out of her chest as she leans in just a little closer. “I…”

Lexa lifts her hand and places it on Clarke’s chest to stop her from leaning in any closer. “Don’t do something you’ll regret.”

“I could never regret loving you, Lexa,” Clarke whispers. And again, it takes them both by surprise as the words echo in the space between them.

“ _Clarke_.” Lexa shakes her head and pushes the woman in front of her a little further back. “It’s not too late,” she whispers.

“I can’t.”

“Then _we_ can’t.”

 

* * *

 

By the time Lexa gets back to her loft it’s just before midnight. There’s a package out the front of her door – a small cardboard box with a note that says “ _Oso throu daun ogeda_ ” on it. She picks it up and gives it a small shake, hearing the contents rattling around on the inside. Stepping into the loft, she manages to rip it open and sees two small tubes of _Red._

Lexa tosses a bottle to Lincoln and the other to Luna. “Here,” she smiles.

Luna catches the bottle and seems very surprised. “Can’t believe Octavia managed to get some.”

“Thank you Octavia,” Lincoln smiles as he places the bottle on the table.

Lexa nods. “I know someone who can analyse the drug and see if there’s a counter for it. Or at least can come up with a plan to ween you guys off completely.”

Lincoln nods. “Take what you need.”

“So what have you got?” Lexa asks.

Luna flips her laptop to face Lexa. “We intercepted some Ark chatter and Sara – the Reaper in Thailand was killed in a freak accident just a few hours ago.”

Lexa reads the articles that Luna has up on the laptop.

“Ark agents are due to fly to Thailand in an hour,” Luna continues. “But I’ve found a slightly faster flight on a private charter. We’ll get there two hours before The Ark does.”

“How do you know where the box is?” Lexa asks

“It’s got to be in one of two banks where the accident was,” Lincoln explains. “Once we land, Luna and I will be able to see which bank fits the protocol of housing the black box.”

“Or we just follow Ark agents,” Luna shrugs.

Lexa nods. “You guys go. I have to stay here.” She makes her way to her safe and pulls out a wad of cash, handing it over to Lincoln. “Find the box. Destroy it.”

Lincoln nods.

Lexa’s phone then gets an incoming message, so she checks it.

 **Unknown Number**  
x057 EVACUATE  
Strike team on the way  
to the loft. T-5 minutes.

“Shit,” Lexa yells. “You guys got to go, _now_.”

“Why? What’s up?” Luna asks.

Lexa moves about her loft and packs the essential things. She's got no time to explain the protocols she's got in place but "x057" is the code used to text an urgent message from an unknown number. “They’re onto us. Strike team is on the way,” Lexa says frantically. Both Lincoln and Luna start to gather their things without question. Lexa throws Lincoln a burner phone, “Go. Find the box. The address to my other safe house is on that phone.”

Lincoln and Luna don’t question it and just as they’re about to leave they watch as Lexa pours gasoline all over the place.

“What are you doing Lex?” Lincoln yells. “We got to get out of here!”

Lexa doesn’t listen. “GO! I’ve got this covered!” she yells. She continues to pour the gas all over her loft. She needs to destroy any and all the evidence that is here before the Strike team arrive. Once she’s sure it’s enough, Lexa stands at the door and grabs the lighter from her backpack. She takes one last look around the loft and lets out a small sigh. She lights up the lighter and throws it into her loft, watching as the flames erupt before her.

Lexa takes a few steps back as the flames spread throughout the apartment. Just as she’s about to turn around she sees someone standing behind her and a black bag is being placed over her head. Lexa struggles and tries to fight off whoever is there, but she’s quickly outnumbered and knocked unconscious.

 

* * *

 

When Lexa comes to, she doesn’t open her eyes right away. She can feel chains of some sorts around her wrists as they hold her up – and her feet are barely touching the ground. The taste of dry blood is evident in her mouth and her whole body feels like it’s about to fall apart.

Part of her knows exactly where she is. She opens her eyes and there they were; Jaha and Alie standing right before her. Jaha steps closer towards her, the smirk on his face only widening.

“Welcome home, Lexa.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're getting right into the thick of things now, arent we? anyways the next chapter has been one of my most favourite to write and im so excited for you guys to read it
> 
> as always, thanks for reading!


	10. oso throu daun ogeda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lexa is in the ark........ how will they get out of this one?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello this was one of my most favourite chapters to write so i hope you guys enjoy! 
> 
> also, this is where the 'torture' tag comes into play. it isn't too long or too graphic, but i just wanted to let you know just in case it's something that you're worried about. it starts just after the first horizontal line. 
> 
> happy reading!

Clarke knocks on the door to her mother’s house. Since the incident with Lexa, she’s called her mum every couple of days just to make sure everything is okay. Though her mum said that she’s fine and she’s sure that Lexa isn’t going to come after her again, Clarke can’t help but worry. The door opens and Clarke greets her mum with a quick hug.

“Hey sweetie,” Abby smiles. “This is a nice surprise.”

Clarke tightens the hug. “You doing okay?”

Abby nods and breaks away from the hug. The two of them make their way through the house and Abby makes a cup of tea for them both. “And how are you doing?” Clarke sighs. “Oh sweetie…”

Clarke wipes a few tears away and shakes her head. The words seem to catch in her throat as the memories of the previous night play out. Everything with Lexa has put her through a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. She is not blind to what The Ark is but these were her people. That’s what she’s been telling herself all these years, that’s what kept her _here_.

Abby moves to sit beside her daughter, taking Clarke’s hand in her own.

“I don’t– I don’t know what to do,” Clarke whispers. “It should be an easy decision. I should be able to follow orders from Jaha to bring her in but–”

Abby shakes her head. “It’s not an easy decision, Clarke. This is Lexa we’re talking about.”

Clarke looks to her mum. “Are we on the wrong side of this?” she asks.

“Maybe…” Abby whispers. “Maybe not…”

“And maybe there are no good guys…” Clarke whispers. Those are her mother’s words and they continue to echo through her mind. The Ark definitely weren’t the good guys but Lexa’s position in all of this was also arguable. None of this made for an easy decision.

“Clarke… what’s on your mind?”

Clarke sighs a little and looks down to the watch. She runs her fingers along the glass as the hands tick over to tell her that it’s about 8:46am. “A lot,” she replies. “Too much. But I should get going. I just wanted to stop by and see you.”

Abby nods. “You know I’m here if you need me.”

“I know.” Clarke smiles and leans in for another hug.

 

* * *

 

Lexa has always known why Alie has the title of The Interrogator, but today, she’s experiencing first hand just how good the woman is. Alie isn’t just good because of the physical torture she puts her victims through, but rather the ability to really get into people’s mind and get to them that way.

Lexa is completely out of this at this point. She’s just feels numb because it’s been the same thing over and over again. Alie asks a question, she doesn’t answer, she gets tortured. But Lexa is right on the cliff’s edge and she feels like she’s going to topple over any second. Then, what draws her back is remembering why she’s here, why she’s started this, and she manages holds on for just that little bit longer.

“You know I can keep going,” Alie taunts. “I have all day.”

“Me too,” Lexa replies with a harsh cough.

“Again,” Alie instructs to the other agent in the room.

Lexa knows exactly what’s coming, so she braces herself. The agent takes a swing and punches her right in the rib cage. She winces and groans for a second before forcing herself to compose herself again. “Is that all you’ve got?” Lexa asks rather sadistically.

“Again.” _Another punch._

“Again.” _Another punch._

“Again.” _Another punch._

Alie steps right up to her and Lexa feels so broken and beaten down that she doesn’t even have the energy to react. She keeps her eyes closed, not daring to look into the woman’s eyes for the fear that she’ll break.

“Tell me what I want to know and I’ll kill you quickly,” Alie says. “Who are you working with?”

“This place is going to burn to the ground.”

Alie laughs. “Where’s Lincoln and Luna?”

Lexa scoffs slightly but doesn’t say anything, which obviously earns her another round of punches into the stomach. But she holds on (just barely). Moments later, Alie is excusing the guard out of the room and attaching some sort of wires around various parts of her body. She’s too tired to even look up at this point.

“Must be hard… going against all the people who would have laid out their lives for you,” Alie says. “You’re a traitor to your people, Lexa.”

Lexa tries to block out the words, but it’s hard when it’s the exact same words she’s been trying so hard to justify for the last four years.

“We gave you everything,” Alie continues. A low shock of electricity surges through her body, causing her to flinch. And Lexa knows that it’s only going to get worse from here.

“ _What does betrayal taste like, Lexa?”_

_“Who are you working with?”_

_“Who funded your play for the auction?”_

_“I can make this quick and painless or I can make you wish that I just kill you already.”_

_“Who are you working with?”_

With every question that gets asked, Lexa remains quiet. This also means that she’s been continually shocked, at a slightly higher voltage that the time before. But still, she holds on. She has to.

“Costia wouldn’t have wanted you to die like this.”

“Don’t say her name,” Lexa snarls. “Don’t you dare say her name.”

“Such a tragedy, don’t you think?”

And Lexa can feel herself getting mad and angry. Alie can throw almost anything at her and she’ll be able to take it, but the moment Costia is brought up she knows she can’t just ignore it. Costia is one topic she will fight for, no matter how much of a losing battle it may be. 

“So young, with so much potential,” Alie continues. “And then _you_ happened to her, Lexa. She’s dead because of you.”

Lexa lifts her head up, eyes glaring right into the woman in front of her. “Her death is not on me,” she says. And she even surprises herself with the conviction in her voice. It’s the first time she’s said it out loud and actually believes it herself.

“It is though.” Alie steps around Lexa, her finger hovering over the shock button. “You should have known better, Lexa. You should have known what was going to happen if she got too close to you.” She does a complete lap and ends up standing in front of Lexa again. “Head over heart,” she says.

Lexa doesn’t respond, because she can’t even dispute the “head over heart” saying. This whole mission to take down The Ark she has chosen head over her heart. It’s a decision that does not become easier over time, but rather a decision whereby she just gets use to taking. She’s kind of become immune to the pain that usually follows.

Alie shocks her again, probably just because she can and Lexa flinches until it stops. Alie clears her throat. “You might not have been the one to take the shot, but her blood is on your hands.”

And once again, Lexa doesn’t say anything. She’s very vulnerable at this point, and she doesn’t know how she’s going to hold the remaining pieces of herself together.

“Are you going to tell me who you’re working with yet?” Alie asks.

“No.” And not surprisingly, Alie shocks her again. This time for almost double the time and by the time it stops Lexa feels like she’s about the black out.

Alie then steps up to her again, pulling the attached wires off. “Okay, for the sake of your argument we say that Costia’s blood isn’t on your hands… what about Jake Griffin?” Another nerve strikes within Lexa. “I’m sure that his death wasn’t a part of your escape plan. What went wrong?”

“Everything,” Lexa mumbles.

“So you take responsibility for his death?”

Lexa nods and takes a couple of deep breaths. “That’s all on me.” As she’s tried to come to term with the fact that Costia’s death isn’t her fault, she’s tried to do the same with Jake. But with Jake it’s a lot harder, almost impossible actually. She doesn’t think that there’s anything in this world that can ever help her come to terms with what happened to Jake Griffin.

Taking away the shock machine, Alie soon comes back with scalpel and Lexa just doesn’t react. Everything within her is drained once again. While Alie has touched on some very touchy subjects she has to hold herself together. If she’s going to die, she’s going to die protecting the people she’s brought into this fight.

“People will die in this fight, Lexa,” Alie says. She trails the tip of the scalpel across Lexa’s bicep, “Do you really want the blood of more people on your hands?”

“The blood on my hands is nothing compared to the blood on yours,” Lexa replies. But just as she finishes talking, Alie cuts into her skin a couple of inches long. It isn’t deep enough to cause major damage, but it’s enough for the blood to start seeping out.

“I’m not the one forcing people into this system,” Lexa continues. She knows she’s crossing the line but she doesn’t care at this point. She’s going to say what she wants – which obviously Alie reacts to by cutting into her again.

“Forcing them to become assassins, doing _your_ dirty work.” _Another cut._

“Making all these people risk their lives in order to benefit the wrong people.” _Another cut._

“We gave you everything,” Alie says, “All for you to throw it in our faces. We gave you a life! A purpose! We made you into the person you are today. Without us, you would have wasted half your life in jail.”

“Maybe,” Lexa replies. “But knowing what I know now, I would rather be sentenced to life in prison then work for _this_ place.”

Alie turns around and puts her scalpel away. “You’re ungrateful, Lexa,” she says as she turns back. This time she doesn’t have anything, but rather steps back towards Lexa. “We were your family.”

Lexa scoffs. “No you weren’t.”

“Maybe not _me_. But the people here, they were your family.”

Lexa goes quiet again, because she can’t argue that. She spent five years with The Ark. That’s five years where she spent with people who she came to care about, worked alongside with, she even fell in love with one of them.

“Head over heart,” Lexa breathes.

Alie gives a slight nod, “Who are you working with Lexa?” she asks again. But when Lexa doesn’t reply, Alie presses her fingers into one of Lexa’s cuts. It’s excruciatingly painful as the pressure in that spot just builds.

_“How did you outbid us for the box, Lexa?”_

_“Where’s Lincoln and Luna?”_

_“Who are you working with?”_

 

* * *

 

Octavia sits in one of the meeting rooms, anxious to get out. She’s been in the meeting for an hour now, but her mind is elsewhere. Earlier in the morning she tried to get into contact with Lexa, but she got no response which was out of the ordinary. Lexa usually responds in a timely manner and this time something felt off. It didn’t help that she couldn’t get into contact with Lincoln or Luna either.

Once the meeting is over, she sees Aden who is spending his free time on the training floor. She watches him move with more precision since she first entered The Ark. He’s improved a lot, he’s quicker and makes more calculated choices against his opponent. When he wins the round, Octavia claps. “Nice work,” she compliments.

“What do you say? Up for a round?” Aden asks with a wide smile.

Octavia figures that Lexa and the other guys are probably just running down a solid lead or something and will fill her in when they can. She looks down to what she’s wearing and then back up to Aden and gives a small nod. “Let me head to the lockers and change and I’ll be back.”

Aden smirks a little. “Be ready to have your ass kicked, Octavia.”

Octavia lets out a small chuckle and makes her way towards the locker room. It doesn’t take long for her to change into some proper clothes and head back up. As she walks out pass the main operations room, she accidently bumps into Jaha. “Sir,” she whispers, “Sorry I didn’t see you there.”

“It’s okay Agent Blake.” Jaha smiles. “Where are you off to?”

“Some training with Recruit Childs,” Octavia replies.

Jaha opens the door to the operations rooms. “Why don’t you come inside for a moment? I think you deserve to see this.”

Octavia raises an eyebrow but Jaha offers no more of an explanation. She steps into the room and Jaha follows closely behind as he closes the door. There’s not a lot of people in the room; only Anya, Roan, Indra, Monty, a couple of the senior agents. But none of them pay any attention as she steps into the room, they were all too busy looking up on the main screens.

That’s when Octavia sees what they’re looking at. _Lexa._

Octavia steps closer to the main screen and her heartbeat picks up beyond anything she’s felt before. On the screen, she can see Lexa chained up in what looks like to be the basement of the facility. But that’s not the part that gets to her, it’s the fact that she can see Alie walk into the frame as well.

“When did…” Octavia whispers as she trails off.

“Late last night,” Anya answers without taking her eyes off the screen.

“And what’s Alie doing?”

Jaha speaks up with a smirk. “Her job.”

Octavia swallows the lump in her throat and watches the screen. It doesn’t seem like there’s any audio but it doesn’t take a genius to figure out what’s happening in that room. Alie asks questions, Lexa doesn’t answer, Lexa gets tortured. The video feed is pretty clear and Octavia can tell that Lexa has taken a good beating since she’s gotten in.

“Agent Blake you are welcome to stay or you can go,” Jaha says. “But not a word to anyone.”

Octavia nods. “Why… why did you let me see this?”

“She took you at your graduation. It feels good, doesn’t it? Seeing her finally locked up?”

“Yeah,” Octavia manages to replies. “Yeah… I’m going to… go and train.” Just as she leaves the operations room, she spots her brother. Octavia doesn’t really know what she’s doing but she needs to come up with a plan, and fast. “Bellamy!” she calls out.

Bellamy turns around. “Hey, O.”

Again, Octavia doesn’t really know what she’s doing so she lunges forward to hug her brother. She swipes Bellamy’s key card, slips it into her pocket and wraps her arms around him.

“Okay…” Bellamy whispers. He hugs his sister back; despite being surprised by the action. “Are you okay?”

Octavia nods, “Sorry,” she whispers as she pulls back from the hug. “I just…”

“It’s okay,” Bellamy reassures. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Maybe later? I actually have to go and…”

Bellamy nods without waiting for another response. “Of course. I’m here if you need me.”

Octavia smiles and starts to walk away. But she doesn’t make it more than a couple steps before her name is being called out again. She turns around to find Aden jogging over to her.

“Ready for our match?” he asks.

“Actually Aden, I–”

“ _Come on Octavia,”_ Anya cuts in as she approaches them. “Aden here says that he thinks he can beat you. Can’t deny him the opportunity now, can we?”

“I…” Octavia stutters.

“Do you have somewhere else to be?” Anya asks. Octavia shakes her head and she can feel her heart beating in her throat. “Good,” Anya continues. “Then let’s see how much recruit Childs has learnt.”

The three of them make their way down to the sparring grounds. Aden walks slightly ahead of Octavia and Anya, moving to the centre of the mats. Anya leans over to Octavia, “You may be an agent now, but it’s important to remember that the learning never stops,” she says, “Whether it’s you learning or someone else because at the end of the day, we fight together.”

_We fight together._

The words pierce through her heart and all she can think about is Lexa. She’s about to train like it was any other day whilst Lexa remains locked up in the basement. This was not fighting _together_ and everything within her is sinking, but she doesn’t know how she can slip from this situation.

 

* * *

 

Clarke enters The Ark and makes her way towards the main operations room. She walks past the training ground to see the recruits all hard at work. What catches her attention though is a sparring session between Octavia and Aden. She comes to a stop and watches them for a moment.

The wooden sticks hit against each other countless times. Octavia is good and can hold herself in a fight. What makes her a good teacher though, is her ability to bring her abilities down to Aden’s level – not too low that Aden can win but just enough to challenge him and push him forward. As for Aden, there has been a big improvement in the young recruit in the last few months.

Clarke sees Anya approach her. “Aden’s getting better,” she comments.

Anya nods. “Are you going in the control room?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Just…” Anya whisper. “Prepare yourself.”

Clarke raises an eyebrow. “For what?”

Anya steps closer and leans in so she whispers into Clarke’s ear, “They brought Lexa in last night.”

Clarke steps back from Anya and knows that the woman in front of her isn’t lying.

“Alie’s been… doing her job,” Anya adds, slightly rolling her eyes.

And with that Clarke makes her way towards the control room. Everything else around her becomes white noise as she can’t even begin to imagine what was happening in that room. She swipes her card to get into the room and immediately Kane, Indra, Raven and Monty are starring right back her.

Raven steps forward to try and walk Clarke back out. “You don’t want to see this, Griffin,” she whispers.

Clarke shakes her head and pushes part Raven. She steps closer to the main screen where she can see Lexa with chains around her wrists, hanging from the roof of the basement. “Audio?” Clarke asks.

“None.”

Clarke’s breathing picks up again. Alie’s choice of torture was currently the shock baton and Clarke can’t help but visibly flinch as an agent shocks Lexa with the jolt of electricity. She can’t fathom how this has happened. She saw Lexa not even 12 hours ago at Roan’s party and now here they were. How the hell did Lexa end up in The Ark?

Kane steps up to stand next to Clarke. “She was at Roan’s party last night,” he whispers. “He managed to slip a GPS tracker in her pocket. Strike team had just come back from a mission so we sent them in instead of calling you guys.”

Clarke can’t take her eyes off the screen. Lexa’s given a few more shocks and again, Clarke flinches. “How long has Alie been in there?” she asks.

“Three… Four hours,” Kane answers.

 _God._ Clarke can feel the pit of her stomach sink even further. It goes on for another couple of minutes and Clarke just feels even more sick. Raven tries to get her to leave, but Clarke is adamant on staying.

Ten minutes later Clarke sees Alie and the agent leave the basement room. “Tell me it’s over,” Clarke sighs.

Kane shakes his head. “Far from it.”

Jaha and Alie then enter the control room a couple of minutes later. Clarke can’t help but notice the blood on Alie’s hands and again, she’s sure she’s about to be sick. Jaha tells Kane that he and Alie are leaving for a meeting in the city and that they’ll be back in a couple of hours. And as always, Kane is in charge while they are gone.

Once Alie and Jaha are gone, Clarke pulls Kane to the side so she can talk to him privately. “Let me talk to her,” she pleads. “I can get her to talk.”

“Do you really think that’s a good idea?” he asks.

Clarke shrugs slightly. “Lexa was the best agent here so she’s going to be able to handle whatever Alie does to her.”

“And you think you can get to her?”

“Yes,” Clarke replies. She looks over to the main screen again and sighs as she sees Lexa just hanging there. “You know that Lexa and I have a history…” Clarke whispers. “I can get to a part of her that Alie can’t.”

Clarke watches as Kane contemplates her plan. She didn’t want to use her relationship with Lexa like this, but if it means being able to go down there to see her, she thinks it will be worth. Clarke wants to help Lexa, that’s something that still hasn’t changed over the years.

Kane eventually gives a small nod and walks over to Monty, whispering something for a moment before returning. “I’ve told Monty to stop the feed here and to send it to my office in 20 minutes,” he whispers. “You have 20 minutes.”

“Thank you,” Clarke whispers. She walks past Monty and gives his shoulder a small squeeze and she knows he gets her _thank you_ as well.

She makes her way down to the basement, stopping by medical as along the way. That’s where she bumps into Finn.

“Hey Clarke, are you okay?” he asks.

Clarke nods. “Um, think I can grab a clean cloth and some warm water?”

“For…?”

“They brought Lexa in last night…” Clarke whispers. “And she just spent the last few hours with Alie.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah…”

Finn doesn’t say anything after that. He moves about the med bay and gathers a few items. He hands Clarke some clean cloths, some antiseptic, a water bottle and his thermos. “It’s just water. It should still be warm.”

Clarke takes the things and offers a small smile. “Thanks Finn.”

“Is she okay?” he asks. Finn watches Clarke give him a questioning. “Don’t look at me like that. Lexa’s doing what she thinks is right and I can’t say I disagree.”

“Finn! If higher ups catch you talking like that they’ll have you floated.”

Finn shrugs like he doesn’t care. “Tell me, have you not been questioning everything since she came back?”

“Come on, Finn…”

“You should go…” Finn points to the door, “See Lexa. Make sure she’s okay.”

Clarke grips the items in her hands a little tighter and leaves medical. Her steps towards the basement are rigid, she’s not really sure how she’s going to do this or what’s going to entail but only time will tell.

She walks into the basement and closes the door behind her. The sight before her makes her heart sink further than it already has. Lexa doesn’t even look up and as Clarke steps closer, she can see the bruises and cuts that cover Lexa’s body.

“ _I’m up for another round if you are,”_ Lexa mutters under her breath.

“Lexa…” Clarke whispers.

Lexa’s head looks right up but she doesn’t say anything. She drops her head back down and she scoffs. “What are you doing here?”

Clarke steps forward and places the items in her hand on the ground. She grabs the water bottle and untwists the lid, bringing it up to Lexa’s lip. But Lexa just moves her head away.

“Just drink the water, Lexa.”

“What do you want?” Lexa asks harshly.

Clarke puts the water down for the time being. She pours some warm water over a clean cloth and brings her fingers to Lexa’s chin, tilting the woman’s head up a bit. Part of Clarke’s heart breaks at the sight of Lexa. She’s not even going to deny it. The emerald green eyes before her are sad and broken. Lexa’s walls are completely knocked down at this point and despite everything, she’s letting Clarke see that.

“Don’t move,” Clarke whispers. She brings the cloth to Lexa’s face and starts to wipe it softly. Lexa’s lips are dry and cracked. There are more bruises and cuts and more blood across her entire body. She’s still in the black dress that she wore to Roan’s party but it’s dirty and completely ruined at this point.

It’s just silent between the two of them. And it’s heavy. Clarke does her best to try and not to cry as she cleans Lexa up a little. But Lexa keeps looking at her… like she wants to say something but she just doesn’t have the strength to. Clarke wipes Lexa’s collar and her arms and then applies some of the cream around her wrists where the chains have been scraping in to.

Once Clarke is done she takes a step back. “Lexa… you have to stop this. They’re going to kill you.”

“So they kill me,” Lexa coughs. She coughs a few more times and even wheezes a little.

“This isn’t worth killing yourself over.”

Lexa shakes her head. “You have no idea what I’ve put into this.”

“Do you have any idea what it’s like to come in here and be told to bring you in dead or alive?” Clarke asks.

“It’s comply or die in here,” Lexa breathes. “You do what you have to do to survive.”

Clarke ignores the beginning phrase even though it sounds really familiar. “I didn’t do a very good job.”

Lexa coughs again. “What are you doing here? Why do you care, Clarke?”

Clarke steps forward again, tilting Lexa’s head so that green eyes meet blue. “Do you really think that I don’t care about you?”

“If you did, I wouldn’t be here,” Lexa replies.

“What?”

Lexa shakes her head so that Clarke stops touching her. “You really going to act as if you don’t know?” she laughs.

“Lex–”

“Don’t,” Lexa cuts in. “Don’t ‘Lex’ me.”

“What are you talking about?” Clarke asks.

Lexa chuckles this time. “So we’re really going down this road?” She pauses. “How do you think I ended up here, Clarke? _Someone_ just so happened to slip a GPS tracker into my pocket last night.”

“That–”

“Is that why you got close to me last night?” Lexa cuts in. “Just close enough to distract me? I didn’t think you’d have it in you to use our relationship like that.” She coughs a few more times and rattles herself against the chains. “But I guess I’m one to talk. You’re not the only person who can track someone.”

Completely ignoring that Lexa is wrong, Clarke asks, “What do you mean?”

“I mean…” Lexa trails off and flicks her gaze down to Clarke’s watch. “How do you think I managed to find the location when Owen was supposed to bring the black box? Or how about to other day in the park when I told you about Nia’s offer? Did you really think it was a coincidence that we both happen to be at that spot at the same time?”

Clarke looks down to her watch and then back to Lexa. “You wouldn’t have…”

“But I did,” Lexa nods. “Pull out the dial and take out the back.”

Clarke shakes her head and scrambles to take the watch off. The conviction in Lexa’s voice tells Clarke that she isn’t lying but god does the smallest part of her hope that it isn’t true. She pulls out the dial and manages to take off the back and there it is was… a small GPS tracker planted on the inside. Clarke drops the watch, feeling as if it’s tainted.

“You’re a bitch, Lexa.”

“I’ve been called worse,” Lexa sighs.

Clarke takes a couple of deep breaths and lifts her foot to destroy the watch.

“Wait–” Lexa coughs out. “I’m the only one who knows the signal code. And seeing as I’m _here_ you can take out the GPS without destroying your dad’s watch.”

Clarke wipes her eyes.

“You can turn the tracker off if it makes you feel better.”

Clarke picks up the watch and does exactly that. She fits the back on again and puts the dial back in before slipping it into her pocket. “Is that why you kept it all this time? Just so you could use it against me?”

“Partly,” Lexa replies softly. “I promised your dad that I’d get it to you and yes, I did use it but to my advantage.”

“You should have known how much this would hurt me.”

“This will always be bigger than you and I, Clarke.”

Clarke rolls her eyes and shake her head. “I don’t care about the bigger picture right now.”

“Well I don’t have that luxury,” Lexa breathes. “I’ve got the weight of the world and more on my shoulders.”

Clarke steps forward again. “I wasn’t the one to put the tracker in your pocket,” she reveals. “I wasn’t the only agent you saw last night.”

Lexa looks up and her breath visibly hitches.

“Yeah, you remember now don’t you?” Clarke asks, annoyed. To think that Lexa would believe that she could do something like this to her makes her… sad and angry and really fucking mad.

“Roan…” Lexa whispers.

Clarke nods. “I didn’t know he was going to track you. Otherwise I would have told you.”

“You would?”

Clarke nods again. “But now, knowing what you did to my dad’s watch… I’m not so sure.”

“Clarke–”

“Save it,” Clarke cuts in.   

 

* * *

 

After a couple of rounds Aden concedes defeat but Octavia praises him for his vast improvement. There were definitely a few times where he managed to gain the upper hand, but it was his inability to keep the upper hand that had him falling short. But he still has plenty of time to train given that there were other recruits who were more ready for graduation.

She says her goodbyes and excuses herself to change out of her workout gear. But obviously that’s just a cover up for what she had planned to get Lexa out of the basement. It’s not the most well-thought out plan but it’s all she’s got for now. And with Jaha and Alie out of the facility, _this_ would be the best time to make her move. She’s almost thankful she was pulled into training for a while.

So her (not so well thought out) plan is to head down into the armoury and using Bellamy’s key card, she’s going to grab some C4. She will then plant them around the room of the basement where Lexa is being held. She’ll blow up the area, which will cause an evacuation and that’s when Octavia will go in and help Lexa. Easy enough, right?

Octavia makes her way down towards the armoury and fortunately for her, it’s empty. No missions are scheduled for today so there’s a good chance no one will be coming down any time soon. But the moment she swipes the key card into the explosives section she feels the presence of someone behind her.

Before she has a chance to turn around, the person behind her has their hands over her mouth and is pulling her back. Octavia tries to fight the person off, but their strength is no match for her. So she bites the person’s hand.

“ _Really?!”_

Octavia’s eyes widen when she hears that it’s Anya voice. She tries to gain the upper hand, but that obviously doesn’t happen and soon enough Anya has her in a choke hold.

“What are you doing with your brother’s key card?” Anya asks.

“Nothing.”

Anya shakes her head and keeps her hold around Octavia. “You wouldn’t be grabbing guns… you’re smarter than that. You have no use for the riot gear or knives… Explosives? C4?” she asks. But Octavia doesn’t answer. “What were you going to do? Blow something up as a distraction?”

Octavia takes a deep breath and manages to twist Anya’s arm so that she’s being released. She pushes Anya away and takes just a second to decide on her next move. She goes for the attack. She swings and she punches and she manages to get a few hits in but Anya blocks most of them easily. But Octavia knows that Anya isn’t really trying. She’s fought the woman harder during their training session.

Just as Octavia thinks she might be winning – Anya knocks her to the ground. “Lexa taught you well,” Anya whispers as she places her foot on Octavia’s chest. “But I was the one to teach her so I know all the tricks.”

Octavia remains stunned, lying flat against the floor.

“A laik Onya kom Heda kru,” Anya whispers. “Oso throu daun ogeda.”

 

**May 2012**

_“Lexa!” Anya screams as she knocks on the door. “Let me in!” She continues to knock and knock and knock. Lexa’s tracker says that she’s at home and Anya isn’t going to leave until she has a good talk with the woman. “Let me in or I’m going to pick the lock and let myself in!”_

_It’s been three days since Costia was killed. Of course the official records say that it was some freak accident, but Anya knew better and Lexa did to. Anya had met Costia a handful of times and can easily say that the woman was a great person. She was a great person for Lexa as well. Despite the world they already live in, Costia kept Lexa on her toes and challenged her in more ways than one. But The Ark did not like that, at all._

_“Let me in, Lexa.” When there’s no response Anya takes out the first bobby pin in her hair and bends it straight out so she can start picking the lock. But before she can even take out her second bobby pin, the door swings open. Anya watches as Lexa lingers at the doorway for a moment before stepping back into her apartment._

_“You look like shit,” Anya says._

_A quiet, “Yeah,” is all that Lexa replies with._

_They both move to the couch, sitting at opposite ends. It’s well into the night and Lexa has no lights on. Everything in the apartment is cold, still and just so… quiet. Anya opens a lamp to illuminate the living room just slightly. “I can only cover for you for so long, Lexa.”_

_“I know.” Lexa pauses and just remains starring ahead at nothing. “Costia’s funeral is in two days.”_

_“Are you going?” Anya asks._

_Lexa shakes her head. “I don’t deserve to.”_

_“Lex–”_

_“No,” Lexa cuts in. “If I hadn’t– If I had just listened to my head– She’d still be alive.”_

_“This isn’t your fault, Lexa.”_

_“Of course it is!” Lexa stands up and runs her fingers through her hair, clearly annoyed, frustrated and angry. “This wasn’t just some accident! It’s got The Ark written all over it.”_

_“I know,” Anya whispers._

_“All they do is take and take and take,” Lexa breathes._

_Anya nods. “I know,” she repeats. She sits and she listens to Lexa scream and cry. Lexa has always been a good agent, never once complaining and stepping out of line. Whatever emotions and feelings she has over this life, she’s kept it bottled up in favour of being a good agent – a good team member. But now, Anya knows that this is her breaking point._

_Over the past few months, Anya has seen a shift in Lexa’s attitude. To everyone else it wouldn’t look like much but Anya’s been Lexa’s mentor for years now and she knows when something is up. It was a surprise for the both of them when they realised that they fell onto the same wavelength. Anya would step in front of a bullet for Lexa without hesitation and knew that Lexa would do the same for her._

_Lexa leans against the wall, starring out of the window. “I can’t do this anymore, Anya. I can’t.”_

_Anya doesn’t move from her seat, knowing that Lexa probably needs some space to think. “It’s not like you can just hand in a two weeks’ notice and leave Lexa.”_

_“I know.”_

_“There’s only one way out of this.”_

_“I know,” Lexa repeats in a soft voice._

_They go silent again. Anya watches Lexa and she doesn’t know what to say. She doesn’t think that there’s anything she can say at this point that will help. The seconds turns into minutes and Lexa doesn’t move from her spot. At this point Anya can tell that Lexa is deep in her thoughts._

_“Aren’t you sick of it?” Lexa asks._

_And Lexa doesn’t need to refine the question because Anya knows exactly what she’s referring to. But this is as a dangerous conversation. Has she thought about it herself? Yes of course. She’s thought about it every god damn day since she entered The Ark._

_Lexa turns around to face Anya. “It’s got to stop.”_

_“What are you going to do?” Anya asks. “Go against everyone at The Ark?”_

_Lexa pauses for a moment to think about her answer. She nods. “If that’s what it takes.”_

_“Lexa…”_

_Lexa shakes her head. “Forget I said anything.” She makes her way towards her kitchen, how overall body expressions showing exactly how crazy the plan must have sounded. “I’m just tired.”_

_Anya immediately gets up from the chair and catches up to Lexa. She grabs her arm and turns Lexa around. “I’m in.”_

_\- - -_

_“There’s only one way out of the Ark,” Anya says. “We have to fake our deaths.”_

_Lexa shakes her head. “No.”_

_“What do you mean ‘no’?”_

_“I mean…” Lexa trails off. “We’re going to need someone on the inside. So I’m the only one that’s going to be faking their death.”_

_“And your tracker?”_

_“I’ll cut it out.”_

_Anya raises an eyebrow. “You’re going to cut into your hip and pull out your tracker?”_

_“Don’t give me that look. You’re the one who had that dream about ripping out your tracker with your teeth. Anyways, it’ll be fine,” Lexa shrugs. “I’ve seen enough Grey’s Anatomy to comfortably wing my way through it.”_

_Anya rolls her eyes. “That’s not funny.”_

_\- - -_

_“What about the black box?” Lexa asks. “Know anything about it?”_

_Anya shakes her head. “I’ll look into it.”_

_\- - -_

_“Are you sure we can do this?”_

_“Yes, yes we can.”_

_\- - -_

_Anya sits in the locker room with her head in her hands. They had just come back from a mission which could have seriously gone either way. They were all so lucky to have made it out alive. And it’s got her thinking about this… plan she’s working with Lexa on. They’ve been planning and talking about this great escape for the past few months, based on the assumption that they’re both still alive. She doesn’t want to think about death, but it’s hard to when it feels like it’s knocking after every mission._

_She hears the locker room doors open and looks up to see Lexa walk in. “Close call tonight,” Lexa whispers._

_“We need someone else,” Anya says. “If something happens to me while you’re gone this plan fails. We need someone else.”_

_Lexa nods. “I was thinking about that too.” She pauses. “It’s going to be close to impossible to find someone though. And if the wrong person gets wind of what we’re doing, we’ll be floated within seconds.”_

_“So our third person isn’t someone from The Ark,” Anya replies._

_Lexa is surprised by the response. “You mean bring someone from the outside, in?”_

_Anya nods. “A recruit,” she clarifies. “You know exactly what they look for when getting new recruits so it won’t be hard to get them in.”_

_“Okay… but then I would have to train them before they even enter if it’s all going to work.”_

_“You can do that,” Anya reassures. “I mean, you had_ me _as a teacher so…”_

_Lexa manages to smile a little. “It’s not going to be easy finding someone willing to infiltrate an organisation of assassins.”_

_“Yeah,” Anya laughs. “But it’s our only option.”_

_\- - -_

_“Do you have an offshore account?” Anya asks._

_Lexa shakes her head._

_“Okay,” Anya nods. “You can just have mine. I have about two million or so saved up.”_

_“Anya, no– I can’t take–”_

_“You can and you will.”_

_\- - -_

_“What if we get caught?” Lexa asks._

_“Then…” Anya whispers. “Then we die.”_

_“That’s comforting.”_

_\- - -_

_Anya steps forward and takes a couple of swings at Lexa. She continues to attack as the younger agent manages to block them all. “Good,” Anya compliments as she brings it up another level. “You’re going to have to train your recruit as I trained you.”_

_“I know,” Lexa huffs, blocking Anya’s punches. She spots a window of opportunity and flips their positions so that she’s now on the attack. “It might take some time.”_

_“It’s no point asking how much, is it?”_

_Lexa shakes her head. She gets Anya in a choke hold from behind and whispers, “Most extreme scenario is that the recruit has zero fighting skills, zero IT skills and I would have to teach them Trig too.”_

_Anya takes a couple of deep breaths. “Ball park?” she asks, flipping Lexa over her back._

_Lexa lands flat on her back with a loud grunt. She doesn’t get up though and laughs. “I should have seen that coming.”_

_Anya offers her hand to help Lexa up, “Yeah, you should have.”_

_“Three years – four max to get the recruit fully ready to do this.”_

_Anya nods. “Okay… Now let’s talk about hiding a shell box program that Monty won’t be able to find.”_

_\- - -_

_Anya brings the beer bottle to her lips and then puts it back down on the coffee table. “So you get the box, destroy it then go after Jaha…” she says._

_Lexa nods and takes a sip of her own drink. “While my recruit helps dismantle things from the inside.”_

_“Should we tell the recruit that I’m in it too?” Anya asks._

_Lexa shakes her head this time. “Not until you have to.”_

_“Okay. Any idea on who you’re going to send in?”_

_“Yeah.”_

_“What?” Anya raises her eyebrow, “Are you not going to tell me?”_

_“No. It’s best that you don’t know yet. But they will enter the same time I make myself known again.” Lexa pauses and takes a sip of her drink. “We need a safe word… or passage so that the recruit knows to trust you.”_

_Anya thinks about it for a moment. “A laik Onya kom… Heda kru…”_

_“–Oso throu daugh ogeda,” Lexa finishes._

**Present Day**

Anya offers her hand to Octavia, “Get up. There isn’t any time to explain.”

Octavia takes Anya’s hand and stands up, still completely stunned. “You’re…” She steps forward, still at a loss for words.

“There isn’t any time to explain, Octavia,” Anya repeats. “We have to get Lexa out while Jaha and Alie are not here.”

“Do you have a plan?” Octavia asks

“Yes. Come with me.” Anya leads them out of the armoury in silence.

Octavia doesn’t question her superior anymore. Whatever Anya’s plan is, it will definitely be better than the one she was going to execute. “Where are we going?”

“Basement.”

Once they’re on the floor of the basement, they make their way around a corner and bump into Clarke. Anya steps forward protectively, “Sorry, Griffin – didn’t see you there.” She pauses and studies Clarke’s facial expression and she honestly hasn’t seen Clarke _this_ sad since her dad passed away and when she thought Lexa has died. “You talked to her, didn’t you?” she asks.

Clarke looks up, gives Octavia a look and then returns her attention back to Anya. “Yeah.”

“You don’t look so good.”

“I’m fine,” Clarke replies, nonchalant as ever. “I just need to tell Kane I’m done with her and I’m going to head home for the day.”

“Kane?” Anya asks.

“Yeah. He had the feed stopped in the control room and told Monty to send it to his office in 20 minutes." Clarke pauses. “Waste of time though.”

“I can tell Kane for you,” Anya replies. “Saves you from having to go to top level then coming back down to your car.”

Clarke nods. “Yeah, that sounds good. Thanks.”

“Go, I’ll call you if anything comes up.” They say their goodbyes after that and Anya waits until Clarke is out of the sight till she returns back to Octavia. “New plan.”

Octavia nods.

“You go to Lexa, but make sure you stay under the camera. I’m going to loop the feed in the basement and surrounding corridors, then set it to replay. Tell her to stay still,” Anya instructs. “There wasn’t any audio before but I don’t know how it’s going to be in Kane’s office so you’re going to have to tell her via tap code. You do know tap, right?”

“Yeah,” Octavia replies. And she’s definitely glad that Lexa had pushed her so hard to learn it while they were training.

Anya nods. “Good. Keep your eyes on the camera, and when you see the red light flash three times that’s when you can go get Lexa down.”

“How? I can’t pick a lock that fast.”

Anya pulls out a key from her pocket and hands it over to Octavia. “Lexa taught you how to pick pocket, who do you think taught her?”

“Okay,” Octavia replies.

“Tell Lexa that the pipes are still in play. She’ll know where to go.”

Octavia then watches Anya leave and she takes a few deep breaths. Walking towards the basement door, her heart is beating uncontrollably. This plan of theirs was still pretty flawed and it didn’t leave them much room for error. They had one shot and that was it.

She pushes the door open slowly and her breath hitches as she sees Lexa. Lexa still has her arms raised above her head with her feet barely touching the ground. Octavia places her index finger over her lips and takes a few steps forward so that she’s just under the camera. She lowers her gaze down to her foot then back up to Lexa.

Lexa gives the smallest nod and focuses on Octavia’s foot.

Octavia then taps the message “ _Stay still. Looping feed_ ” with her foot. She does this a couple of times to make sure Lexa gets the message. Lexa keeps her head down after she stops tapping her foot and Octavia keeps an eye on the camera above her. It’s absolutely nerve wracking at this point and all she can do is hope that Anya pulls through on her end.

 

* * *

 

Anya rushes up to find Kane, bumping into her superior just a couple doors from his office. “Sir!” she calls out.

“Agent Carson. What can I do for you?” Kane asks.

“Agent Griffin wanted me to tell you that she’s done,” Anya replies. “And also Agent Blake is asking for you from the top deck.”

“Why?”

Anya shrugs. “She just asked if I could see if you were free.”

Kane nods. “I’ll make my way up.”

“Oh sir–” Anya calls out. “There’s actually something I want to talk to you about too. It’s about Aden Childs. Can I wait in your office?”

Kane nods again. He walks over to this office door and unlocks it. “I’ll be back as soon as i’m done with Agent Blake.”

“Thank you.” Anya enters the office and closes the door behind her. Without a second thought, she’s at Kane’s computer and opening up the video feed to the basement. She sets to looping the feed so that she can set it to replay whilst Lexa escapes the facility. The longer the loop is the better it will be but she probably doesn’t have that long until Kane comes back.

While the loop is recording, Anya opens up another window so that she can keep an eye on Kane or anyone who may come by the office. It’s nerve-wracking to say the least. And being nervous is not something she’s used to. She’s jumped out of planes, off bridges and out of moving cars - but trying to sneak her friend out of The Ark? This is a first.  

Four the last four years there hasn’t been a day where she didn’t think about this plan of theirs. After Lexa faked her death they decided that they wouldn’t contact each other until their plan was well underway. So for four years she had to trust that Lexa was okay on the outside and that things were going the way they planned. That day she heard that Lexa was back after four years of being “dead” was the day the biggest weight was lifted off her shoulders.

 

* * *

 

Lexa remains as still as possible and she can quite literally feel every bit of pain that is coursing through her body. There are definitely a few cracked ribs, bruises and cuts and the smell of blood just constantly fills her lungs. She’s never been on the receiving end of an Alie interrogation, and she never wants to be in this situation again. Though she didn’t break, there were a few times where she nearly did.

She can only assume that Anya has had to show herself as an ally to Octavia. With Octavia’s message, Anya’s probably working on looping the camera feed to the basement so they can get her out without anyone noticing. But she’s in too much pain to think clearly about what’s going to happen once she’s out of the chains. She just hopes that Octavia and Anya have a plan to get her out.

Her perception of time is completely lost at this point. For the first few hours since she was brought into The Ark, she managed to keep up with time but at this point she doesn’t know how long she’s been chained up for. And the conversation she had with Clarke earlier, already felt like it was a life time ago. So she waits and waits and waits until Octavia can make her move.

So some time later she feels Octavia rattling the chains around her wrist.

“We’re going to get you out of here, okay?” Octavia whispers as she frees the chains. “Just hang in there.”

“Anya…” Lexa whispers.

Octavia nods. “She looped the video feed. Also said that the pipes were still in play and you would know where to go.”

“I do,” Lexa nods. Octavia manages to unlock all the chains and she’s finally has both her feet flat against the ground. There is suddenly this new burst of energy that comes over Lexa and she knows that it’s probably all she’s got left.

“Can you walk?” Octavia asks.

Lexa takes a small step forward and stumbles, but fortunately Octavia reacts quick and helps her stay standing. “Give me a second,” Lexa whispers. She takes a few deep breaths and pushes past the pain she’s currently in.

“Few seconds up,” Octavia says. “We got to get you out of here.” She hands over her weapon, “Just in case we run into someone.”

Lexa nods and takes the weapon. They both knew that Octavia has to play the hostage again, just in case they did run into any agents. “I won’t kill anyone,” Lexa assures.

All Octavia does is nod in response.

Lexa takes another couple of breaths before letting Octavia know that she’s ready to go. Octavia turns around and Lexa places one hand on her shoulder as the other holds the gun. Slowly, they start to make their way out of the basement. But before they step out of the room, Lexa asks, “What about the cameras in the hall?”

“Anya’s looped them as well,” Octavia replies. “Where are we off to?”

“Armoury.” They step out into the hall and slowly start to make their way through the hallways. “There’s a vent that leads to the underground network of pipes. I spent many nights down there, trying to find my way out.”

“Is it safe?” Octavia asks quietly.

Lexa nods. “Relatively… Look Octavia, about Anya…”

Octavia shakes her head. “You can explain that later. I know you would have had your reasons for not telling me. So let’s just focus on getting you out.”

They continue to make their way towards the armoury. It’s not an easy task and they get turned around a few times from other agents passing by. They make it eventually, but they quickly hit another hurdle a couple of feet from their destination. As they head around the final corner, Bellamy makes an appearance. In that first split second he goes for his gun. But in the next second, he’s being knocked in the head by Anya and goes falling to the ground.

“Get to the pipes,” Anya says. She bends down to pick Bellamy off the floor and starts to drag his body towards the armoury.

They all head into the armoury without wasting another second. Lexa locks the door behind them and leans against the wall to catch her breath. The pain is getting worse and she doesn’t know how they hell she’s going to make it through the pipes.

She watches as Anya starts to unscrew the screws in the vent. Octavia checks on her brother, and Lexa feels like she’s going to faint at any second. But that would not be good. Instead to distract herself, she makes her useful and walks over towards the computer. “Anya, login,.” she requests.

“Same ID. Password is _302390xio1.”_

So Lexa logs in and searches for _Operation Callaway_ (the file Nia wants in return for funding the auction). She can’t exactly just send herself an email with the file attached, but she can create another small door so she can access it once she’s back out on the outside.

“Lex you need to go,” Anya says as she manages to open the vent.

“One minute,” Lexa replies. She continues to type – building her “door”.

Octavia steps up beside her. “I can come with you through the pipes.”

Lexa shakes her head, “Bellamy saw you. You need to stay and say that I took you hostage. Come up with a story.”

“Then go,” Octavia says. She looks over to the computer screen, “I know how to finish this code. You need to get out of here.”

Lexa nods and stops typing. She starts to walk over to the vent where Anya is waiting patiently. “Thank you, Anya.”

Anya holds out her hand and they both grip each other’s forearms. “Oso throu daun ogeda.”

“Together,” Lexa replies before crawling into the vent. Once she's in she can hear Anya covering the vent back up and everything around her goes dark. She takes a few more deep breaths before pushing forward.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> now you know why i haven't explored Anya's POV yet! so now that she's shown herself to be part of this plan we'll definitely see more from her side of things (both past and present). 
> 
> as always, thanks for reading!


	11. not alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> how will anya and octavia deal with the mess that's left behind after lexa's escape? there are a few flashbacks and a few revelations. or basically, things just get a whole lot messier

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> didn't realise how big of a chapter this was until i was copying it over from my word doc to here lol but anyways, happy reading!

**[Octavia’s first day in The Ark]**

_“I think that she might be Bellamy’s sister,” Clarke says._

_“What?!” Anya yells along with Raven, who’s standing just beside her._

_At that moment, something ticks within Anya. There is no way The Ark could have overlooked something like this. Generally, when someone is brought into The Ark the first protocols executed are ones to identify any family members and deal with them._

_“Her file says that her name is Octavia Blake,” Clarke replies. “I think someone has placed her in here to keep Bell in line.”_

_“What makes you say that?” Anya asks. If her own assumptions are correct, Clarke is completely wrong and the one thing she’s been waiting for is finally about to happen. It’s been four years since Lexa faked her death and everything within her is just hoping and praying that it’s time. And that is saying a lot, because she does not hope, nor does she pray._

_Clarke shrugs. “I don’t know. It’s just a feeling. She was really calm during orientation.”_

_“I was calm during orientation,” Anya points out. And in her mind, it’s just another point that pushes her towards the idea that Octavia is the person Lexa has sent into The Ark. So she’s now expecting Lexa to show up again any day now._

**[Octavia’s second day at The Ark]**

_Now that the news of Lexa’s return is all The Ark is talking about, Anya needs to make sure that Octavia is the right person. Two other recruits were brought in with her, but nothing about them sparked something within her like Octavia did. Maybe it is one of the other two, maybe Lexa’s taught them really well but her gut instinct is telling her that it’s Octavia._

_She walks out towards the main floor with Roan by her side. Combat training is almost starting and Anya knows she can figure out if Octavia is the person by the end of the class._

_They start off with one on one sparring sessions to allow the new recruits to see how things are done. While Anya guides and comments on the fighting and stances of the recruits that are up, she keeps an eye on Octavia. The young recruit is whispering amongst some of the others and Anya manages to pick up on a few key words of the conversation. The most important one probably being: Lexa._

_As the fight between the first recruit ends, Anya figures that it’s time to put Octavia to the test. Before Roan can call up another two, she steps forward towards Octavia. “Newbie,” she calls._

_“Me?” Octavia asks, pointing to herself._

_Anya nods. “Let’s see what you got.” She turns to the other recruits, “Mark! You’re up.” Mark is probably one of the better recruits but that will definitely push Octavia to the point Anya needs. For precaution, she explains that despite Mark being almost twice her size, Octavia still has an advantage when it comes to her size._

_The fight ensues and Octavia is definitely holding back, which is a smart move. But Anya manages to pick up on a few steps and tricks that she once taught Lexa. They’re very little and subtle moves but it just convinces her more that Octavia is that person she’s been waiting for, for the last four years._

 

**[Just after Lexa infiltrated The Ark system]**

_Watching Clarke react to the news that Lexa is back hits Anya harder than she would have ever expected it. They had a good relationship, they trusted and respected but they never really talked about their personal lives together. But that didn’t mean that she didn’t know about Clarke and Lexa’s relationship. In fact, Anya knew all about that relationship._

**[During another training session]**

_Anya’s currently in the middle of a conversation between Octavia and Bellamy. It’s honestly the last conversation she wants to be a part of but when anyone question the ways she teaches, she can’t just sit back and let it slide. She’s good at what she does._

_“There’s a reason why I’m head of Alpha team and you’re not, Blake,” Anya argues. “I know what people are capable of and what they need in order to become a good agent. Maybe if you would have listened to me, you would still be one too.” She knows it’s a low blow, but it’s the truth. Even though Bellamy wasn’t on Alpha team, Anya still tried to guide him on the right path. However, he didn’t listen._

_They go back and forth for a little longer and just as Anya is about to leave, Bellamy makes another comment that strikes a nerve with her. There’s very few topics that get her like this, and one of them is Lexa. She knows she was a good mentor, so when Bellamy suggest that she anything but that, she falters briefly. She doesn’t say anything, because it’s not worth it and she has to think about the bigger picture._

**[The first night Anya sees Lexa again]**

_It’s the night of the Ice Nation party and Anya is just waiting for Lexa to show up. She knows Lexa will, it’s just a matter of time because now that she’s back, it’s time to completely shake things up. She doesn’t know what Lexa has been up to on the outside, but for her, it’s been difficult to maintain her cover for the last four years._

_While Lexa’s been planning things on the outside, Anya’s had to keep playing agent. And that meant doing things that she wasn’t happy with doing. She’s so sick of all the fighting, of the deaths, the games and just everything The Ark is about. But for the bigger picture, she's did what she's had to do._

_She soon hears what she’s been waiting for._

_“I have eyes on Lexa,” Clarke says over the mic. “We don’t want to make a scene, so I’m going to approach. Do not engage unless I give the signal.”_

_“We have your back, Griffin,” Anya replies immediately. She makes sure that everyone else is following her orders before focusing her attention back to Clarke and Lexa. It takes everything within her not to smile to see Lexa again, to see her alive and seemingly well._

**[During another training session]**

_“MOVE!” Anya calls out, as she stomps her foot on the ground. Fortunately, Octavia gets the message and rolls away in time before she’s being stepped on._

_“MOVE!”_

_“MOVE!”_

_“MO–” She surprisingly is cut off when Octavia manages to knock her onto her feet. Of course, she’s barely on the ground for second before she manages to gain the upper hand. Anya stands over Octavia’s body with her foot pressing on the young recruit’s arm. “Nice,” she compliments. That move is the same move Lexa did when she first knocked Anya to the ground._

_“Thanks,” Octavia replies._

_Anya offers her hand to help Octavia back to her feet. “You’ve improved a lot these two months.”_

_“I’ve had a good teacher.”_

_“Maybe,” Anya replies coolly. She knows Octavia is talking about Lexa, but she plays it off like it’s not a meaningful remark._

_It’s been two months since Lexa came back and she’s been keeping a very close eye on Octavia. The young recruit is good, but with four years on training behind her there’s no reason she shouldn’t be – especially if she’s been working with Lexa all this time._

**[Graduation meeting]**

_“Agent Carson, who is your suggestion for field agent?” Jaha asks_

_Anya looks over to Clarke and there’s a lot she wants to say, but obviously she can’t. Clarke argues that none of the recruits are ready for graduation and while she agrees, there is the exception of Octavia. Obviously Clarke doesn’t know what Octavia is capable of, but she does. She trusts that Lexa has taught the recruit enough to be able to hold herself as an agent._

_The initial plan to take down The Ark has derailed slightly. Lexa went out thinking that there was only one black box to destroy, but now there are six of them. Octavia didn’t need to be wasting her time pretending to be a recruit when she could easily serve a better purpose as a field agent._

_So Anya turns back to Jaha and answers. “Octavia Blake.”_

**[The night of the black box auction]**

_Anya walks up to the bar where she sees Lexa, Luna, Octavia and Ontari together. That’s definitely a recipe for disaster. And of course she’s right when she learns that Ontari just had a knife pressed into Lexa’s back._

_There’s a split second where they exchange a knowing look between the two of them. It’s very subtle but it’s enough to let each of them know that they still had each other’s back._

_But to keep the façade up, Anya clears her throat and looks back to Lexa. “So where’s the third musketeer?”_

 

**[Later that same night]**

_Anya struggles as Lexa grabs her in a choke hold. Lexa had just won the black box and Jaha wasn’t happy. He and the majority of the Ark agents that came along tonight currently surrounded the three rogue assassins, all with their weapons hot._

_Truth be told, Anya doesn’t know if she would be able to escape Lexa’s hold if she really tried. It’s been four years and Lexa has definitely gotten stronger and refined her techniques to the tee. She knows Lexa won’t do anything too drastic to her, but they’ve got to make it look as real as they could._

_Anya continues to fight back and listens to Lexa and Jaha talk back and forth. And sometime during the conversation she feels Lexa slip something into her pocket. No one around them seems to pick it up which is impressive to say the least._

_Clarke then surprises everyone by putting away her gun and stepping forward. “Lexa, you don’t have to do this,” she whispers._

_Anya knows that Clarke is Lexa’s weak spot. So before Lexa has the chance to say anything she yells, “JUST TAKE THE SHOT!”_

**[The following morning]**

_After hearing that Lincoln and Luna are running low on Red, Anya knows that she needs to do something to help. She knows that Lexa hasn’t asked Octavia to grab some more because that would be too risky, even by their standards. However, for Anya it’s a different story._

_She manages to swap out two Red prescriptions in medical without getting caught and sends it off towards Lexa’s loft with a note that reads “Oso throu daun ogeda” with it. It’s not like exactly write “Form Anya” but she knows Lexa will know that it’s from her._

**[Later that night]**

_Anya gives three swift punches towards the punching bag, focusing on her breathing and just trying to clear her mind. But she is interrupted when Kane walks past and calls for her to follow him into the control room._

_Once she’s in the room, Anya closes the door behind her. “Sir?”_

_Kane hands her a headset immediately. “I need you to run comms on this mission for Rogers.”_

_“Why?” Anya asks as she puts on the headset._

_Kane ignores her for the time being, instructing the other agents in the room on various commands. About a minute later a familiar screen comes up on the main screen. It’s the GPS tracking on Strike team and it looked as if they were heading out, even though they just came back from a mission._

_“Is Strike team going back out again?” Anya asks._

_“Yes,” Kane replies. “We got Lexa’s location.”_

_Anya visibly gulps._

_“Strike team was already ready to go so Jaha made the call to send them out,” Kane explains._

_“How?”_

_Kane shakes his head. “No time to explain. We won’t get another chance like this so I need you to get on the comms with Rogers and his team.”_

_Anya nods because that’s all she can do at this point. She moves to take a seat at one of the computers desks, away from everyone. And as she’s talking to Rogers about how he and the team should approach the situation, she’s texting Lexa and warning her. She just hopes that Lexa is able to get out in time._

_Anya doesn’t get any sleep that night. Lexa didn’t get out in time and now her friend is chained in the basement of The Ark. She doesn’t leave the control room all night, just watching the screens, watching Lexa. Morning is going to be a mess for sure, especially when Octavia and Clarke find out._

_And she’s right. The moment Octavia sees Lexa on the screens, the young agent loses all her focus. Of course to everyone else it just looks like she’s fazed by the fact that it’s Lexa caught. And while that is true, there is obviously a lot more to the story._

_So when Octavia leaves the room, Anya gets her busy with some training before she makes any rash and stupid decisions that will get them all killed. She slips “We fight together,” into the conversation to try and hint that they’re on the same side but it doesn’t seem to work. Octavia’s mind is focused on Lexa and understandably so._

_But they both need some time to come up with a somewhat decent plan. So she gets Octavia sparring with Aden and she stands by, her mind racing with a million (not so great) plans._

 

* * *

**[Present Day]**

Anya screws the lid back on the vent the moment Lexa is through. Though a little concerned about the state Lexa is in, she’s sure Lexa will manage to get to safety. Anywhere at this point would be safer than being cooped up in the basement. Once the vent in secured again, she covers it back up with the shelf and turns back to Octavia.

“Almost done?” Anya asks.

Octavia nods. “Almost…” she trails off. It’s another fifteen seconds before she finishes the code. She logs back out and then they both look to Bellamy. “You need to knock me out,” Octavia says.

“Tell me your plan.”

“I don’t have one,” Octavia replies. “But Bellamy saw me with Lexa, so if I’m knocked out it would make it more believable that I was taken hostage.”

Anya nods. It isn’t the best plan and it was greatly flawed – but it’s not like they had many options at this point. “When higher ups ask, say that you were walking towards top deck when you ran into Lexa. You don’t know how she escaped but she started to take you down towards the armoury.”

Octavia nods. “And I didn’t see who knocked out Bellamy, because I was knocked out at the same time.”

“I’ll knock you out only for a couple of minutes. I’ll be here when you come to,” Anya reassures. She doesn’t give Octavia a chance to respond before she pulls out her gun and hits the young recruit across the head. Anya guides Octavia down to the ground and lays her beside her brother before moving back slightly.

Anya takes a few deep breaths as she looks to Octavia and Bellamy on the floor. The moment she learnt of Octavia she had a good feeling that the young woman was the third person in their plan. And when she heard that Lexa was back, she put the young woman to the test. So Anya kept a close eye on Octavia and she progressed with her training, Anya picked up the techniques she once instilled into Lexa.

A couple of minutes pass before Octavia starts to stir herself awake. Anya is by her side within seconds, helping the young agent up. “Okay?” she whispers.

Octavia nods, rubbing her eyes slightly. She stands up as Anya pulls a chair up for her.

And as if on cue, Bellamy starts to wake up too. When he’s up he immediately shakes himself up to survey his surroundings. He looks for his gun – but doesn’t find it. Instead he makes his way over to Octavia, “O… you were…”

Octavia swallows the lump in her throat. “I’m fine,” she reassures. She watches as her brother looks over to Anya and then back to her. “Lexa she–”

“What happened? Where’s Lexa?” Bellamy asks.

Octavia shakes her head. “I don’t know. The moment I saw you, she knocked me out around the same time.”

“So you didn’t see who knocked me out?”

“Sorry,” Octavia replies. “When I woke up… I called Anya… I didn’t know what else to do.”

Bellamy looks over to Anya, “Have you called it in yet?”

Anya shakes her head.

“Well why the hell not?!”

Anya steps forward slightly, “I was a little more concerned about the safety of your sister, Blake.” She knows that will get him off her back a little. “Octavia woke up just the minute before you did. I don’t have my radio with me.”

Bellamy returns his attention back to his sister. “Are you okay? Did she hurt you?”

“I’m fine,” Octavia reassures again. “She just knocked me out. That’s it.”

Bellamy grabs the radio from his shoulder and radios it in. “ _This is guard Blake. We have a code BLACK, Lexa’s escaped the basement.”_

Anya and Octavia listen as the chatter over the radio pick up immediately. Bellamy radios over what happened and where they are, and possible locations to where Lexa may be. Soon enough Anya is insisting that they head into medical and whilst Bellamy is against it, one word from Octavia and he reluctantly agrees.

As Octavia and Bellamy sit and get checked by the Ark doctors, Anya stands to the side of the room. Kane enters not long after. He comes in and the air in the room completely shifts, he wants answers and he wants them now.

“What happened?” Kane asks.

“I was on my way up to the main floor when I saw Lexa holding a gun to Octavia,” Bellamy recounts. “I was knocked out immediately afterwards.”

“Me too,” Octavia says.

Kane raises an eyebrow, “How did Lexa get to you?”

Octavia takes a deep breath. “I was on my way to top deck when she approached me from behind. She just told me to shut up and keep walking. And when I saw Bellamy get knocked, she knocked me out too.”

“And you woke up in the armoury?”

Octavia nods. “Agent Carson was walking by so I called her in. I didn’t know what else to do.”

“I waited in your office, Sir,” Anya continues. “But I had to take a call and I needed some papers from my locker. When I was making my way back up, Agent Blake pulled me into a room and explained what happened.”

“So you didn’t see Lexa?”

Anya shakes her head. “No sir.”

Kane brings his hands to rub his eyes before reaching for his radio. He speaks into his radio, “Maya, where’s Agent Griffin?”

“ _She left, sir.”_

Kane sighs. “Track her. Send Bravo team out to bring her in.”

“ _Sir?”_

“Those are orders, Maya.”

“ _Yes, sir.”_

“You think Clarke has something to do with this?” Bellamy asks.

“I don’t know. But she was the last person to see Lexa,” Kane says. “And now she’s not in the facility anymore so it doesn’t paint a very good picture.”

Bellamy hops off from the chair, after being given the all clear from the doctor. “I’m going to aid in the search.” He turns to his sister, “You okay?”

“Yeah,” Octavia nods. “Go.”

“Alie’s going to want to speak to you!” Kane calls out.

“Yeah, yeah,” Bellamy replies. “Just find me when she needs me.”

Kane turns back to Anya and Octavia. “She’s going to want to talk to you both, as well.”

Anya nods, as does Octavia as they watch Kane walk out. When they’re alone, there is a slight weight lifted off their shoulders as their story is bought.

“What about Clarke?” Octavia whispers.

“She’ll be fine,” Anya says. “I’ll make sure of it.” She knows Lexa is going to be mad when she finds out Clarke’s been pulled into the middle of this. But Anya had no other choice. An opportunity presented itself to get Lexa out, so she took it.

 

* * *

 

Lexa struggles all throughout making her way through the pipes. It’s dirty and dark and it smells atrocious. Her whole body is still aching. She has not known _this_ much pain in all the years because it is a mix of physical, emotional and mental. There’s a reason why Alie is the best interrogator there is. But Lexa manages to push through, and it pays off because she finds herself crawling out of the pipes and into an abandoned alleyway.

She steps out onto the main street in search of the right car. She has nothing on her body and she needs to get to her safe house. And the only way she’s going to do that was by hot wiring a car. As luck would have it on her side, Lexa finds the perfect vehicle for her to take. Of course she doesn’t want to steal but it’s a matter of life or death at this point.

As she tries to get the car to start, the wires spark in front of her, causing her to flinch quite dramatically. It sends her right back into the basement with Alie. Electroshocks were one of Alie’s favourite method of torture and Lexa got good dosage of it throughout their interrogation. After a couple moments and a few deep breaths, Lexa gets the car going and is off towards her safe house.

 

Lexa arrives at her safe house half an hour later. She owns the entire building so she doesn’t have to worry about running in to anyone on the inside. This place was one of the few safe houses she had ready in an event of an emergency. She just hopes that she won’t have to run through the whole lot of them.

Slowly, she makes her way up to the highest floor of the building. The stairs definitely become a hassle as the pain really starts to catch up to her. The wounds, the blood, the physical ache over her entire body absolutely consumers her. But _this_ is better than the alternative. She’s out of The Ark and still alive.

Once in the room, Lexa makes her way to one of the corners and pulls back the floorboard. Below the floors is an emergency kit – first aid, laptop, phone and a few weapons so that she’s able to get started again in this new place. She takes her kit and makes her way towards the couches. Despite the pain, she’s got to keep going.

While her laptop boots up, she sets to fixing herself up a little. She cuts open her dress so that she’s just sitting in her bra and underwear. The physical marks on her body are as exactly as she expects – bruises, cuts, blood, more bruises, more cuts and more blood. Cleaning the cuts stings more so than not, but she knows better than to just leave it. Eventually the pile of bloody gauze starts to build on the ground and she’s nowhere near done.

After she cleans her biggest concerns, Lexa takes a moment to gather her thoughts. But it’s not long before she hears the creak of the floorboard behind her. Like an automatic reaction, she swiftly reaches for her gun and whips herself around to face the intruder. For a moment she forgets that the person in front of her is not the enemy – that the person in front of her is not the same woman who was torturing her just a few hours before.

The woman in front of her is not Alie Pramheda, but Alie’s twin sister – Becca Pramheda (or just “B” as Lexa likes to call her.)

 

**June 2012**

_It’s been a little over a month since Lexa has escaped The Ark. She’s gotten the hell away from The Ark’s base location and she’s slowly been putting together a plan to move forward. She’s alone right now, at least until she finds Octavia. And even then she doesn’t know if the younger woman will even believe her story, let alone join in on the fight. But she’s got to try, she’s got to keep going._

_If she could have The Ark taken down tomorrow, she would. But this is a fight that’s going to take so much more than she has at the moment. There is little to no room for error on Lexa’s side. She just does not have the resources The Ark has, one wrong move and she will die._

_For the past month she’s manage to set up her safe house, which is located in the middle of some abandoned warehouses. It’s just temporary since demolition and construction of the place is due to start in a couple weeks – but it gives Lexa enough time to find a new place._

_She’s spent the last couple of days trying to track down Octavia Blake. This was the most important part of the plan so far, because everything rests on the fact that Lexa is meant to send someone into The Ark. Octavia is Lexa’s first pick purely for the fact that Bellamy is an Ark agent._

_The person she’s going to send into The Ark needs to have just as much reason for going in than Lexa. No one in their right mind would go in voluntarily to take down a group of trained assassins. No, Lexa definitely had to make this personal for whoever was going in, no matter how much she hated that idea._

_Lexa paces around the apartment as she talks on the phone to a landlord. Right now, she’s negotiating terms to rent out a space not too far from where she is now. This space would provide the better safe house for when she has to move out from her current abode. But as she continues to talk on the phone, the atmosphere in the room shifts completely._

_It’s not something she can ignore, so she tells the guy on the phone that she’ll call back. Within a second she’s arming herself and wandering about the place. Someone is here. She treads as lightly as she can around the place, but when the floor boards feel like they’re going to give out any moment it’s a little hard._

_Lexa keeps her gun ready to use if she has to. The whole reason why she set up in tise place was because it’s meant to be abandoned, the last thing she needs is for **anyone**_ _to know that she’s here. As she walks into another room, someone is on the attack for her gun. The other person manages to knock it out of Lexa’s hands, but doesn’t attack anymore._

_But that only gives Lexa a chance to fight back. It’s dark and she can’t really make out any features of the person - only that her opponent is a woman. She tries to swing and bring the other woman to the ground, but it feels like she’s fighting with air. The woman is swift, and manages to quickly dodge her moves…  as if she knew what Lexa was going to do before Lexa knew herself._

_The fight goes on for some time. She’s only been out of the game for a month and Lexa feels like her skills have definitely deteriorated over this time. If she’s going to be able to go against The Ark, she’s going to keep up with her physical health just as if she were still there._

_But the fight eventually ends as Lexa manages to gain the upper hand completely. The gun is back in her hands and she’s got it trained on the woman whose about to make a run for the door. “Stop!” Lexa yells. She pulls back the safety, the click of action just echoing throughout the room._

_The woman lifts up her hands in surrender, but doesn’t turn around. Lexa takes just a moment to catch her breath and compose herself. “Who are you?” she asks._

_“I’m not surprised that the almighty Commander isn’t actually dead,” the woman says._

_Lexa steps forward, raising the gun to the back of the woman’s head. She presses the barrel right at the base of woman’s neck. “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t shoot you right now.” The last thing she wants to do is continue this conversation longer than she needs to, but she needs to address the situation. This person might not be alone so Lexa’s got to get as much out of her as she can. “Move,” she instructs. She guides them out of the dark room and towards her main room._

_“Nice set up,” the woman whispers as they walk into the room._

_At this point, Lexa can see completely. The woman in front of her wears nothing more than a pair of black jeans and a grey t-shirt. She’s also got a backpack but that’s about it. “Who are you?” she asks again_

_“Come on, Lexa. You know exactly who I am.”_

_The woman slowly turns around and Lexa refocuses her gun. But the moment she sees who it is, or who she thinks it is, she is stunned. It doesn’t last long because if it’s really who she thinks it is, she’s in a world of shit right now. “Alie…” she breathes._

_The woman shakes her head. “Do you really think Alie would be dressed like this?” She gestures down her body before looking back up. “Come on, Lexa, do you really think you’re the only one who can fake their death?”_

_Lexa’s breath hitches. “Becca…”_

_One of the first things Lexa learnt as a recruit was that the Pramheda women were two of the smartest women that she will come across in this line of work. Both women were smart in their own way. Alie Pramheda built her reputation on her skill to get into people’s mind – seeing her become The Interrogator of The Ark. And Becca Pramheda, well she basically is a genius. The woman almost singlehandedly created The Ark system – everything from networks to the logistics of recruit training._

_About halfway during Lexa’s time as a recruit, Jaha opened up another assistant director position (The organisation was expanding and Kane had a lot on his plate). Both Alie and Becca were up for that position and from what Lexa remembers, it was a very tense time in the organisation._

_Higher-ups obviously didn’t want their people knowing this... But there was a slow divide with how the organisation should be run. From what Lexa learnt, The Ark’s initial goal was not to become a group of trained assassins. But rather an organisation that helped give troubled teens a second chance._

_About half of the important agents/top level management felt as if they were steering away from their initial mission. They wanted to tone things down, take a step back and reassess what it was they were meant to be doing. But the other half felt like they should be capitalising on what they could potentially do with what they had. They saw the potential for The Ark to become a force to be reckon with._

_And of course Director Jaha shared the latter ideology, so he gave Alie the position of assistant director, since she too shared the same views. Becca however, did not. But after what Becca had done for The Ark, Jaha gave her the opportunity to leave the organisation. For some reason, (and Lexa’s best guess would be because of Alie’s influence) Jaha trusted her enough to do this._

_Becca’s departure from the organisation hit a lot of people. While Becca held various positions in The Ark, she was a grounding point for many and also a mentor. While Lexa didn’t have a lot to do with Becca, she could tell that she was one of the of people who were trying to do good, despite the situation they were in._

_So Becca was allowed to leave The Ark – with the organisation still overseeing what she did (she learnt this when she was promoted to Alpha team). About a month after Becca left, the private jet she was on just… disappeared. It was said that they were travelling through a storm and the best conclusion that the authorities could come up with was that it crashed somewhere in the middle of the ocean._

_The Ark threw an immense about of resources into the search party, but after two months of no leads they had to call it quits. And that’s the story – at least the story Lexa knew. But obviously since Becca is now sitting across from her, that story was anything but true._

_Becca sits calmly at the table, like they’re just two friends catching up. Lexa on the other hand is just completely lost at the moment. She doesn’t know where to start, or what to ask. It’s one thing to fake your death but finding out someone else has done the same is a whole other story._

_Lexa takes a seat across from Becca. “You’re meant to be dead.”_

_“I could say the same about you.”_

_“How do you know that?” Lexa asks._

_Becca raises her eyebrow, “I basically built The Ark network, Lexa. I know everything.”_

_Lexa shakes her head. Yes, Becca did build the network, but the Ark system is now maintained by Monty Green – whose sole purpose is to make sure that it’s always secured. Sure she’s got her shell box program in the system, but that only can be found if the user knows it’s there._

_“I know what you’re thinking,” Becca continues, “Nothing can get past Monty. But I was his mentor, I know how he thinks and how to work around that.” She goes on to explain what it is she’s got in The Ark system. Lexa is good with computers – but her skills are nowhere near that of Becca’s. But in simple terms, Becca has eyes into the system. She can’t change or edits files, but she can read any un-redacted files._

_That’s how she knows that Lexa is meant to be dead. Becca continues, saying that she’s been watching The Ark system ever since she faked her death. She knows about all the recruits, the agents, successful and non-successful missions. Whatever is in the system, she knows._

_“Why?” Lexa asks. “What the hell are you doing here?”_

_“I want to know why you faked your death.”_

_“You first,” Lexa replies._

_Becca doesn’t reply straight away, taking a moment to take a few breaths. “At first I wanted The Ark off my back. Having them watch over my every move was tiring and I was sick of it.”_

_“And now?”_

_“I’ve been watching The Ark and matching missions to news events,” Becca says, “They’ve taken a very dark turn since I’ve left.”_

_Lexa scoffs. “That’s an understatement.”_

_“That’s why I’m here. We might not have known each other for long but you don’t strike me as the type of person who would just leave.” Becca pauses again and Lexa still doesn’t know what to think or where this conversation is going. “So why’d you fake your death Lexa?”_

_“You still haven’t told me why you faked your death,” Lexa replies. “You said a first it was to get The Ark off your back, but now?”_

_“Now… Now I think it’s time that it stops.”_

_Lexa is taken back by Becca’s response. She knows how to read people, and she’s got a pretty good feeling that the woman in front of her isn’t lying. But it’s also outrageous, because it’s just too much of a coincidence that they **both** want the same thing – to see The Ark stopped once and for all. _

_“So what?” Lexa asks, “You see that I died on a mission and just decide that enough is enough?”_

_Becca shakes her head. “I’ve been working with someone from the FBI for a couple of months now.”_

_“WHAT!?”_

_Becca nods this time. “Her name is Gina Teller. Look Lexa, I know you, or at least I know you from what’s in your file. You’re the best agent The Ark has ever seen, so for you to ‘die’ in a simple mission like Operation Blue Box, it just didn’t seem right. So I investigated your case. You were really good at covering your tracks, but I found you.”_

_“Why?” Lexa asks._

_Becca raises an eyebrow, “You’re really going to tell me that you faked your death just so you could go live some sort of a normal like?” Lexa remains silent. “I thought so.”_

_“Why should I trust you?” Though Becca’s told her some things, it just didn’t seem to connect for Lexa. And she’s not stupid. There is no way she can just blindly trust Becca no matter how good having her on this side of the fight would be._

_“Because, The Ark thinks I’m dead. Do you really think I would jeopardize that to come and see you if I wasn’t being serious about this?” Becca asks. “I had a good life after I left… I had peace and quiet but you and I both know that we can never really escape this life. It will always catch up to us.”_

_“Still doesn’t mean that I should trust you.”_

_“You need me,” Becca argues. “Just like how I need you.”_

_“How so?”_

_“I’m going to take a wild guess and say that we both want the same thing,” Becca replies. “You want to see The Ark go down once and for all.” Lexa nods. “You have the skills, the fight, the determination. You faked your death for this exact reason, didn’t you? To bring down The Ark?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“And I have the resources and connections to help you do that,” Alie argues. “You know what I’m capable of.”_

_“I still have no reason to trust you.”_

_“That’s fine,” Becca replies._

_“I need some time.”_

_“That’s not.” Becca shakes her head, “I’m leaving here with or without you, Lexa. If you say no, you will not see me again.”_

 

* * *

Becca steps forward with both her hands up. “Lexa…”

Lexa doesn’t lower her gun yet. She knows that Becca isn’t Alie, but Alie is all she can see right now. All she can see is the face of the woman who shocked her, cut her and tortured her for hours on end. And it’s like her wounds are re-opening, or like someone is poking at her bruises (again) – her pain is just heightening by the second.

“I’m not Alie,” Becca whispers as she continues to step forward. “You are safe here. I’m not her.”

Lexa nods. “Sorry,” she replies as she lowers her gun.

Becca shakes her head and moves around to sit on the couch as well. “Don’t be.” She takes a few things out of her bag and places them on the table. There’s water, more weapons, extra first aid equipment and some medicine. Becca hands over the medicine and water, “Oxy, for the pain.”

Lexa accepts both items and downs the pills a second later. “You didn’t have to come here. It’s not safe for you to be out like this.”

“It’s fine,” Becca replies. She grabs the extra first aid equipment and starts to attend to more of Lexa’s hurt areas. “Your place blew up and you went dark, what else what was I supposed to do? I tried to track Lincoln and Luna but nothing.”

Lexa grunts a little as Becca starts to bandage her arms. Her relationship with the woman is different to the one she has with Octavia, Lincoln, Anya or anyone for that matter. They had the one common goal to take down The Ark. Lexa asks for something and Becca gets it to her, and that was it.

“So you want to catch me up?” Becca asks. “What happened?”

Lexa takes a deep breath in. “I went to Roan’s party and Clarke was there,” she recounts. “I left the with what I needed and when I got back to the loft I got a message saying that a strike team was on its way.”

Becca pauses for a moment. “How did they know where you were?”

“Roan slipped a tracker on me at the party.” Lexa sighs, recalling the moment she blamed Clarke for the tracker. She doesn’t regret a lot of things – but that moment is something she’ll never forgive herself for. She should have known that Clarke wouldn’t do that to her despite the situation they were in. She continues, “I torched the place but I didn’t get out fast enough.”

“Lincoln and Luna?”

Lexa nods slightly in response. “Whilst I was at the party they caught wind of the next Reaper in Thailand. Apparent they were in an accident so Lincoln and Luna are there, trying to beat Ark agents to the box.”

“Have you heard from them yet?” Lexa shakes her head. “Is that all?”

“Far from it,” Lexa replies. She gets Becca to stop for a moment as she moves towards her laptop, “Clarke knows about the tracker I placed in her dad’s watch.” Lexa opens the tracking agent.

[command] find tracker 319

[tracker is offline]

“So that’s out of play,” Lexa continues. And she wasn’t surprised at all. Placing a tracker in the watch is still something she questions – but when she thinks about all the times it’s helped her get closer to her end goal, she’s got to believe that she did the right thing. Lexa takes another few deep breaths before continuing, “Also Octavia knows about Anya, Octavia might be compromised and then there’s Bellamy who saw me escaping the facility.”

“That’s a lot,” Becca says.

Lexa nods. “Yeah, tell me about it.”

 

* * *

 

Anya stands by the main entrance of The Ark – waiting for Jaha and Alie to return. Agents were still going level by level of the facility to try and find Lexa (but they obviously weren’t going to find her). Octavia is still down in medical and Clarke has been brought in. She doesn’t know how she’s going to help Clarke but she’s got to try somehow.

“We weren’t even gone for an hour!” Jaha yells as he steps into the facility.

“Where’s Clarke?” Alie asks.

“3B,” Anya replies. And without another word, Alie is off in the direction to where Clarke’s waiting. Anya sets to follow Jaha into the main operations room where a live feed of room 3B is playing on the big screen. She doesn’t know what’s a head for Clarke – but has feeling that it can’t be good.

Jaha turns to Kane, “Give me an update.”

Kane nods and grabs the radio. “Bravo, check in.”

_“Nothing on the lower levels. Making our way towards armoury again.”_

“Charlie team, check in,” Kane commands.

“ _All clear on level 1, 2 and 3.”_

“Delta.”

“ _Top deck clear. We’re heading above ground now.”_

Jaha grunts disapprovingly. “The Blakes?”

“Bellamy is aiding in the search,” Anya says, “And Octavia is in medical.”

“No other witnesses?” Jaha asks.

Kane shakes his head. “Other than whoever helped Lexa escape. All personnel have been accounted for and we’re in lockdown.”

Jaha turns back to Anya, “Where is your team?”

“Agent Griffin and I were the only ones to come in today,” Anya replies. “I’ve already sent Raven, Roan and Indra to Lexa’s loft to see if they can find anything in the mess that was left behind.”

“Good,” Jaha replies as he turns back to the big screen.

Anya returns her focus to the big screen as well. She knows what she did was right, her goal was to get Lexa out but it doesn’t stop her from feeling like complete and utter shit for putting Clarke in this situation. The term “friend” may be bit of a stretch if she’s being honest, but when you work with someone as closely as she does with Clarke, it’s hard not to care. It’s hard not to form relationships whether you meant to or not. Clarke has saved her life countless times and Anya can only help that she can repay the favour today.

Keeping her emotions in check has never been a problem for Anya, she knows how to keep her composure to make it seem like she’s unfazed by whatever it is in front of her. And this time it is no different. Though everything within her is running a mess, she manages to keep her cool as she sees Alie enter the room with Clarke.

Alie is good at her job and probably the one person Anya finds herself slightly intimidated by. When she was a recruit, they went through mock interrogations and she got a taste of just how good Alie is.

Everyone in the control room falls privy to the conversation between Alie and Clarke. For the first few minutes it’s Clarke explaining what happened, from the moment she asked Kane for some time with Lexa to leaving the basement (with Lexa still very much locked up). Clarke mentions how Anya was going to pass on the message to Kane that she was done with Lexa – and both Anya and Kane confirm this to Jaha.

Jaha orders Monty to pull up the security footage of Clarke leaving the basement to leaving the facility. Her story checks out but everyone is simply dumbfounded how this has happened. Alie continues to drill her questions into Clarke – but Clarke manages to hold her ground given that she was telling the complete truth.

 

* * *

 

“The story isn’t going to change the more I tell it,” Clarke sighs. She’s knows Alie is just doing her job but she’s sick of it. She’s told Alie everything she could possibly about her time with Lexa in the basement, but still, her superior doesn’t seem to buy it. There isn’t more she can say or do, Clarke is telling her absolutely everything she can about the events leading up to Lexa’s escape.

She isn’t even going to get started on the fact that Lexa managed to escape. She’s still mad and upset about what she learnt during their little talk, but she still cares. She cares so much and it’s putting her in such tough situation.

Alie stands up from her chair and paces back and forth slightly. “I’m sure you understand my reservations, Clarke. It’s no secret that you and Lexa have a history.”

“That’s all it is, _history.”_ Again, Clarke sighs and brings her hands to rub her face. It’s a little restricted because her hands are in cuffs but she ignores it. She should say that she’s loyal to The Ark and to her people, but she knows the words will leave her lips tasting like a lie. “Are we done? I can be of more use aiding in the search.”

Alie shakes her head. “Stay here. I’m going to give you some time to see if you remember anything else.”

Before Clarke can protest, Alie is walking out of the room. She lets out another exasperated sigh and drops her head into her hands. This game of cat and mouse is getting old and she isn’t just talking about Lexa. The Ark’s been playing cat and mouse with their agents for as long as the organisation has been running. It’s always been, do or die.

Or alternatively, c _omply or die._

The phrase rings itself in Clarke’s mind again as she tries to figure out why it sounded so familiar. Lexa had said it earlier and it’s been stuck in the back of her mind since.

Then it hits her.

Octavia’s first day in The Ark, the young woman used those exact words.

And then a thought that seems outrageously absurd crosses her mind. What if Octavia has been working with Lexa? Clarke almost scoffs to herself because _that_ would be impossible. But then her mind automatically replays Octavia’s time here in The Ark and the thought becomes less absurd.

  1. Octavia had entered The Ark around the same time Lexa reappeared.  
  2. Octavia may have pushed herself to the top of the class in just two months – but what if Lexa had trained her before coming into The Ark
  3. Lexa was at Octavia’s graduation
  4. Lexa had also just taken Octavia _again_ as she escaped The Ark
  5. Lexa had used the exact phrase, “Comply or die”



She doesn’t really have anything to substantiate her claims but Clarke has a strong feeling about this and she knows she won’t be able to just shake it off. Part of being a good agent is knowing when to listen to your gut and right now is one of those times. Clarke can’t get the thought out of her mind, it is crazy and outrageous but it just makes so much sense.

Clarke knows she should tell someone about this, but part of her wants to be _so_ wrong. She doesn’t want to believe that the relationship she’s built with Octavia has been based on a lie. She feels betrayed. At least with Lexa she knew what was going on. But with Octavia, if she’s right about this, Octavia has been lying to her since the beginning.

The more she’s left with these thoughts, the more Clarke manages to make sense of Octavia’s journey through The Ark. No recruit has ever managed to learn the things she seemed to learn in the first two months she was here. And Octavia always asked about Lexa. Though at the time it seemed innocent enough, now Clarke can’t be so sure.

The door opens again and Alie comes back through into the room. But she isn’t alone, another agent follows closely by and steps up to the table to unlock her handcuffs. “So you believe me now?” she asks, rubbing her wrists.

“You have to understand why the precautions were necessary,” Alie replies. “This situation has gone on for longer than any of us would have liked.” She pauses. “We reviewed the tapes of you leaving and your story checks out.”

“Like I said it would.” Clarke stands up. “Where are we with finding her?”

Alie shakes her head slightly. “I hate to admit it, but Lexa is smart and she’s probably long gone by now.”

“Octavia?”

“Down in medical. You should go see her, maybe she’ll be more comfortable talking to you.”

Clarke nods and leaves without another word - mainly because her words are caught in her throat at this point. She doesn’t know how she’s going to approach her next encounter with Octavia. It’s not like she can just go straight up to the young agent and ask “ _Hey, so are you working with Lexa to bring down The Ark?”_ But it’s also not like she can just pretend to go on with what she knows (or at least what she thinks she knows).

When she reaches medical, she gives a small knock at the door to see Octavia and Bellamy both turning around. “Hey,” she whispers. She keeps her cool. The last thing she wants is to scare Octavia off – for Lexa to potentially retaliate _if_ her theory is true. But there’s still this small hope that she’s just so wrong about all of this.

“Hey,” Bellamy replies. He turns back to his sister, “I’m going to head back out.”

Octavia nods. “I’ll be fine.”

Clarke watches as Bellamy steps around her, and she picks up on the tension in the room. She can’t tell if it’s because she’s there or if it already existed before she came in but she’s got other pressing issues to move forward with. “Mind if we talk?” she asks. Octavia shakes her head and Clarke takes a seat on one of the empty chairs. “How are you doing?”

Octavia fidgets slightly in the main chair and tilts her head from side to side.

“I know you’ve probably told the story many times to higher ups,” Clarke says, “But do you mind telling me?”

Octavia lets out a small breath and goes on to recount what had happened. Clarke listens and honestly, she finds herself momentarily believing every word of the story. But again, maybe it’s just that part of her that doesn’t want her theory to be true.

“So yeah….” Octavia trails off. “I woke up and called Anya to help.”

All Clarke can do is nod along. “She’s taken you twice now.” And at that, Clarke sees Octavia visibly still. It’s very subtle but it only enforces her theory further.

“Wrong place, wrong time,” Octavia offers.

Clarke raises and eyebrow. “Twice though? Big coincidence?”

“Are you trying to imply something, Agent Griffin?”

Clarke shakes her head and sits back in her chair. She quickly realises that she might be coming on a little strong and that’s the last thing she wants to do. She can’t afford to scare Octavia off. “Sorry,” she whispers. “It’s just higher ups are breathing down my throat about this.”

“No, it’s okay. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“It’s just when you’ve been doing this for as long as I have, you learn that there isn’t much in the way of coincidences.”

Octavia shrugs. “I’m young and impressionable... The Ark – case and point.”

“Did she do anything or say anything while you were with here?”

Octavia shakes her head. “She just told me to keep quiet.”

“And like you say it’s…”

“Comply or die,” Octavia finishes.

“Yeah…” Clarke whispers. “Comply or die.”

 

* * *

 

The one thing Octavia wants at this very moment is to get out of The Ark. Her heart has been in her throat the entire time and she’s concerned about Lexa. She needs to get out and make sure that well… Lexa is still alive. It’s been hours and she honestly has no idea what was going on outside the facility.

The conversations she’s had to go through since Lexa escaped has been the most relentless and agonising she’s ever been through. It’s just been question after question, statements and accusations with everyone giving their 2 cents to the situation. And she is doing her best to hold up on her end but it is hard when the only thing she can think about is whether or not Lexa made it out of the pipes.

On the bright side, higher-ups and everyone else seems to be buying her story, Anya is backing everything she says and now she’s just waiting to get the all clear from the doctor.

On the not so bright side, her conversation with Clarke just earlier has her feeling uneasy. They way Clarke carried herself throughout the conversation was different to the ones they’ve had in the past. Though these were extenuating circumstances it just doesn’t sit right with her. But Clarke left without pressing further and honestly, Octavia doesn’t need the extra anxiety. She’s got a lot of her plate right now.

When she’s free to go for the day, Octavia heads down to the locker rooms and gets to packing her bag. Everything and everyone around her becomes white noise – she needs to get out and find Lexa.

“ _Hey.”_

Octavia quite literally jumps when she feels someone behind her. She turns around and lets out a small sigh. “Fucking hell, Anya,” she says.

“Sorry. You okay?”

Octavia nods. “I need to go.”

“I know.” Anya steps forward and gives Octavia a folded note. “My number is on there, text me when you find her.”

Octavia takes the note and shoves it into her pocket. “I will.” She turns back around and zips up her bag. “Thank you,” she whispers.

Anya places her hand on Octavia’s shoulder and gives it a small, reassuring squeeze. “Oso throu daun ogeda.”

“Together,” she replies as she turns around. Anya takes a small step back and offers a small smile. It takes Octavia by surprise, but given that they were actually on the same side – it’s a welcome surprise. She feels relieved, mostly, because she doesn’t have to walk through this situation alone. But the other part other part of her knows that this is far from over.

“You did well today, Octavia.”

Octavia nods. “We still got a long way.”

“That’s true.”

“I’m going to…” Octavia points towards the door.

Anya nods and steps aside. “Let me know when you find her.”

“I will.”

Octavia walks out of the locker room and makes her way towards the garage (to where her car is parked). She keeps her head down and takes the route that she knows will lessen the chance of her running into any more people. The last thing she wants at this point is to be held up in The Ark for any longer.

But she speaks too soon. As she enters the garage and unlocks her car, Bellamy is walking towards her. “Bell, I just want to go home,” she says as she throws her bag into the back seat. Her brother doesn’t say anything yet, just starring at her like he’s trying to do rocket science in his head.

“We’re going to finish our conversation before Clarke interrupted us,” he says. “I saw you and Lexa.”

Octavia fights the urge to roll her eyes. “Yeah…” she trails off. “She took me hostage.”

Bellamy shakes his head. “No, I saw you _and_ Lexa.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Bellamy.”

“Tell me that you’re not working with her,” he pleads. “Tell me that she’s got something on you or something. Because what I saw today was not a hostage situation.” He pauses as a few agents walk past them. Once they’re gone he speaks up again. “Lexa could barely walk and I know you could have fought her if you tried. But you didn’t. You don’t have a scratch on your body.”

Octavia gulps slightly. “She had a gun to my head,” she replies.

“I’ve seen you disarm agents twice your side,” he points out.

“And risk myself being shot? I don’t think so.” At this point Octavia is thrown through a loop. She doesn’t want to add fuel to the fire but it doesn’t seem like Bellamy was going to let down anytime soon.

“What does she have on you? Is she blackmailing you?”

Octavia shakes her head slightly. “I was in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

“You need to get out of here.”

“What?”

“Leave,” he replies immediately. “If I can pick up on you and Lexa, someone else is going to eventually as well. I can get you a new identity and a plane ticket to anywhere in the world by the end of tomorrow.”

“That’s a little extreme,” Octavia replies.

“Whatever Lexa has on you; it can’t be worth going against an organisation of trained assassins.”

Octavia scoffs. “Now you’re concerned about me?”

“I’ve always been concerned about you,” he argues.

“That’s a little hard to believe when you left the way you did.”

Bellamy sighs. “We’ve been through this Octavia.”

“No actually, we haven’t.” Octavia takes a deep breath, “We’ve just pushed it to the side in the hope of it not mattering anymore. But it does.”

“Tell me what I can do to make it up to you.”

“That’s the thing,” Octavia sighs, “I don’t think that there is anything that you can do. Look, after being here and learning about this place I get that you didn’t have a choice.”

“But?”

“But nothing,” she replies. She takes a moment to try and figure out where this conversation is going, but as long as the focus is off Lexa it’s all (relatively) good. “Trying to process that you haven’t been dead for the last eight years isn’t exactly easy.”

“What else have you done for Lexa?” Bellamy asks.

Octavia internally groans. They’re right back where she didn’t want to be. “Again, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she replies.

“You know that I’ve been in this game longer than you have, right?”

“Right,” Octavia nods. “So that also means you have a lot more blood on your hands than I do, right?”

“Octavia…”

She lifts her hand up to stop him from continuing. “Lexa doesn’t have anything on me.”

(Which is the truth.)

“And I just want to get out of here,” Octavia continues.

(Which again, is the truth.)

“Don’t come back here, Octavia,” he warns. “I might have to do something that I don’t want to do.”

“Then don’t do it,” she replies. And in that moment she knows the gig is up. Bellamy might not know exactly what's going on – but he knows that she hasn’t been entirely honest this whole time. It’s definitely hits her, the realisation that she’s been lying to a lot of people who she’s come to care about. But she she’s always had to remain on the bigger picture.

Bellamy shakes his head slightly. “You can’t come back here.”

“Are really going to go against me?” Octavia asks.

“Isn’t that what you’ve been doing this entire time?”

“You know I can’t just pick up and leave.”

“Let me help you get out then,” he says. “You say that she doesn’t have anything over you, but what other reason is there for you to help her?” He pauses but not long enough for Octavia to speak up. “You can’t possibly think that what she’s doing is right.”

There is this big part of her that wants to yell that it’s better than what The Ark is doing, but she refrains herself from doing so. She stays quiet.

“So I don’t care what she has over you. Let me get you a new identity and you can leave.”

“I can’t,” Octavia whispers.

“Then I can’t promise that I won’t have to go against you if you show up here again.” And with that, Bellamy walks away.

Octavia doesn’t waste another moment staying in The Ark so she gets in her car and drives off. She knows she’s in a whole world of shit with her brother but the only thing she can focus on right now is going out and finding Lexa. At this point she doesn’t know if Lexa is alive or if she’s dead somewhere but she needs to know one way or the other.

 

When she gets back to the apartment, Octavia immediately sets to working one of the few protocols she and Lexa has set up to contact each other after an extreme situation. Fortunately, the first one works and she gets a number to call.

“Lexa,” Octavia says. She sits on her couch and pinches the bridge of her nose. The feeling that washes over her when she first hears Lexa’s voice is indescribable.

“ _I’m okay.”_

“Are you safe?”

“ _Yeah. A little bruised and battered, I’m okay and I’m safe. Are you?”_

Octavia nods and lets out another sigh. “I am. They drilled me – as expected but they brought the story. Are you sure you’re okay? When you left you definitely needed medical attention.”

“ _I’m okay, Octavia. B came around when she was alerted that the loft was torched.”_

“The loft was torched?!”

“ _Oh right, yeah, I had to torch it. I’m at the building on 70 th.” _There’s a small pause. “ _I know you’ve probably had to tell this story countless times today but mind telling me what happened after I left?”_

“Of course,” Octavia replies. And she goes on to explain what happened again. It’s not much different to the story she told the people at The Ark. The easiest way to sell a lie was to keep it as close to the truth as possible. But obviously with Lexa, she knew the whole story.

“ _So Anya…”_

Octavia gives a small nod to herself. She definitely wants to hear this but she needs to tell Lexa about Bellamy. “There’s something I have to tell you first.”

“ _What is it?”_

“Bellamy knows.”

“ _How_?”

“He saw right through my cover story. Just as I was leaving he came up to me–”

“ _Did he hurt you?_ ” Lexa interrupts.

“No,” Octavia replies. “But he thinks you have something over me and that’s why I helped you.”

“ _And he let you go?”_

“Yeah, but not before saying that that I shouldn’t come back into The Ark.” She pauses. “I think if I go in again he’s going to say something.”

“ _You really think that he’d do that to you?”_

Octavia doesn’t answer right away. Her immediate answer wants to be ‘no’ but she doesn’t know if she actually would believe it herself. “I don’t know,” she whispers. “I don’t know if I can go back in.”

 _"And you won't have to if you don't want to, Octavia. Like I told you from the start, if you ever want an out all you have to do is tell me._ _You have done more for this, for me, than I could have ever asked for.”_

“No. I’m in this.”

“ _Octavia–”_

“Are you trying to get me to quit?” Octavia asks. “We’ve been working together for over four years now.”

“ _You know that it’s far from over, right?”_

Octavia sighs. “I know. I just need a plan. I can’t go in without one. I need some sort of structure so I can keep focused and keep moving forward.”

“ _Okay.”_

So they talk for a little while long over what the plan is from here. Their biggest concern is that Bellamy knows, so Lexa tells her that she’ll talk to Anya to make sure she’s safe for when she goes back into The Ark. Lexa also updates her on Lincoln and Luna who are still chasing the black box in Thailand, they haven’t failed (yet) so at least that’s some good news.

Octavia doesn’t ask about Anya just yet. While she’s curious about it all, it’s not important at the moment. They need to focus on the future, there will (hopefully) be time for it later.

They end the call with Octavia asking again, if Lexa is okay. She’s just genuinely concerned given that Lexa was not in a very good place when she left The Ark. Lexa may the strongest person she knows, but at the end of the day they are all still just humans.

 

* * *

 

Later that night, Lexa cleans her more concerning wounds and gets another call from Lincoln and Luna. They have the third box and Lexa tells them to destroy it immediately. Lexa tells them exactly what happened, letting them know that Anya is also on their side. It surprises them both to say the least. The call ends with Lincoln and Luna letting Lexa know that they’ll be back in a couple of days.

Lexa sits on the couch in a pair of black boy shorts and a white tank top. At this point, if she puts on any more clothes she’s going to feel too restricted, so she pushes through the cold of the night for the time being.

Once she’s done tending to her wounds, she gets onto her laptop. She can’t do anything more at this point until she’s a little more rested, so she does the only thing she can think of: look at the file Nia wants her to give over. A door was planted in The Ark system, just small enough so she can get in and get out without triggering any alarms.

She opens “Operation Callaway” and it’s not a surprise that most of the file has been redacted. The most important missions usually were and obviously this doesn’t sit well with her. What is in this particular file that has Nia so interested? The one thing Lexa knows for sure though is that it can’t be anything good.

The code isn’t anything too sophisticated – otherwise The Ark would be able to get wind of it easily. It’s just enough to read the file which should be more than enough for Nia. Operation Callaway doesn’t register as a mission she was a part of, so it must have been from after she faked her death. And Lexa knows, she just knows, that it couldn’t bring any good news since Nia essentially spent $20 million on getting it.

As Lexa scrolls back to the top of the redacted file to start reading what she can. But she doesn’t get very far as she gets a notification that she doesn’t expect at all.

<< TRACKER 319 HAS BEEN ACTIVATED >>

Lexa’s breath hitches and immediately opens up the tracking agent.

[command] find tracker 319

[location found]

When sees the blinking red dot on the screen, she doesn’t know what to think. But she looks to where the tracker has been activated and she’s off in less than a second. She grabs a jumper, puts on some pants and grabs her weapon in a hurried mess. She ignores the pain as she starts to slow jog down the stairs and towards the garage. She has no idea what is happening, but her gut tells her that it isn’t anything good.

(But then again, it never really is).

In the garage, Lexa opens the security box and grabs a set of keys. Within a minute, she’s revving up her motorcycle and flying out of the garage as fast as she can. She breaks thirteen traffic violations but she can’t think about anything other than getting to her destination.

Her destination: Octavia’s apartment.

Clarke’s tracker was just reactivated at Octavia’s apartment and _that_ could not have been a coincidence.

Once Lexa gets to the building, she leaves her helmet on the ground and makes her way up. She thinks about using the fire escape but decides against it. Clarke is more than likely up in Octavia’s apartment and waiting for her. The element of surprise is not going to work.

When Lexa reaches Octavia’s door, she doesn’t knock. It’s already slightly ajar, so she pushes it open and steps inside to the dimly lit room. With both hands up in the air, Lexa closes the door with her foot and steps further in.

“Give me your weapon,” Clarke instructs.

Lexa steps towards the living room, slowly. She first sees Octavia sitting on the couch, her arms and legs are locked into some zip ties. Clarke is there too, standing, watching, with a gun in her hand. Lexa knows that Clarke is not messing around, so she gives up her weapon with no reservation.

Clarke pulls out some more zip lock ties and steps towards her. Lexa offers her wrist without saying anything, and waits and watches as Clarke tightens them before telling her to sit next to Octavia. Clarke sits across from them and her expression is unreadable.

“Clarke…” Lexa breathes.

Clarke shakes her head and lifts up a finger, “Don’t.” She pauses.

Lexa nods and waits, it’s the only thing she can do right now.


	12. somewhere in between

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> clarke, octavia and lexa have a chat, nia demands her payment, octavia has to ask for help from the last person she'd expect

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy reading xx

Clarke doesn’t miss the state that Lexa is in. Of course there is still a part of her that cares, and seeing Lexa all bruised and battered has got feeling like she needs to take a step back and ask if she’s okay.  But that feeling is overshadowed as she remembers why she’s here in the first place. Lexa sits on the couch next to Octavia, and while they’re aren’t saying anything verbally – there is still a clear exchange between the two of them.

Her Octavia theory is correct and she feels… hurt and betrayed and she doesn’t even know the full story yet. She hates to admit it but there’s definitely something admirable about the relationship between Lexa and Octavia. Even in this brief moment, Clarke can tell that Lexa is still the Lexa that she knew from all those years.

Clarke takes a seat on the couch across from them. “How long?” she asks.

“You need to be more specific, Clarke,” Lexa replies. “How long, what?

Clarke sighs. “I’m not playing around, Lexa.”

Lexa looks over to Octavia, then back to Clarke. “I found Octavia a couple months after I… escaped The Ark.”

“I’ve been in this from the beginning,” Octavia adds. “So whatever you do to Lexa, you’re going to have to do to me as well.”

Clarke can’t even begin to imagine the type of relationship Lexa and Octavia have. If her assumptions are correct about Octavia’s whole role in this, Lexa must have an immense about of trust put into the young woman. She can only imagine it’s a similar relationship Lexa had with Alpha team way back, if not stronger. It’s part admirable, part ridiculous.

Thinking about it now, Clarke can’t help but feel stupid to think that Octavia was put in by someone higher up to keep Bellamy in line. Certain moments and conversations she’s had with Octavia in the past come flashing back, and they all make so much sense now. When the news gets out that Octavia managed to trick everyone at The Ark for a couple of months, heads will definitely roll.

“You know, I thought it was a coincidence that Bellamy’s sister also ended up in The Ark.” Clarke scoffs slightly just thinking about how blind she's been to this situation. “I was so sure that someone put Octavia inside The Ark to keep Bellamy in line.”

“What happened to him?” Octavia asks.

Clarke stops for a moment and looks to Lexa, “What? You didn’t tell her?”

“I don’t know what happened,” Lexa replies. “His demotion was news to me.”

Clarke turns back to Octavia, “There’s a council member named Charles Pike, he–”

“–Owns a mining company, I know who he is,” Octavia cuts in. 

“Of course you do.” Clarke rolls her eyes and lets out another deep breath. “As you know, Bellamy was brought in by Pike and he basically became a liaison between Pike and The Ark. Any missions Pike requested, Bellamy was always the front man for them.”

Honestly, Clarke doesn’t know why she’s entertaining this conversation. There is definitely a more pressing issue at hand between the three of them, but maybe she’s clinging onto the hope that not everything about her relationship with Octavia is based on a lie. It’s just in her nature, really. There’s a part of her that still feels responsible for the young agent and that’s not a feeling she’s going to easily shake.

“By Ark standards, Bellamy was a good agent,” Clarke continues. “He completed missions, kept Pike happy, was loyal, _survived._ But about two months before you,” she flicks her gaze between Octavia and Lexa, “Entered The Ark, there was an incident.”

“And incident?” Octavia asks.

Clarke nods. “He killed six Ark agents.” She pauses to watch both Octavia and Lexa gasp slightly. “I’m not saying that his actions are excusable, but there are a lot of things that contributed to his actions.”

Octavia raises an eyebrow, “What could possibly justify him killing 6 agents?”

“Nothing,” Clarke replies. “But to put it simply, he didn’t know they were Ark agents. There was a last minute swap in teams and no one told him. Those six agents came in hot and strong, only because Bellamy and Pike were in danger from another group.”

“I can see why it’s got people at The Ark divided,” Octavia comments.

“He went through rigorous interrogation.”

“Alie?” Octavia asks.

Clarke nods. She then turns to Lexa, who immediately looks away. She can see the scars and bruises, she can almost feel the pain Lexa must be sitting through and it’s taking everything in her not to reach out. “We went back and forth on what should be done,” Clarke says. “He was meant to be floated.”

“Pike had something to do with him not being floated?” Octavia asks. “Didn’t he?”

Clarke nods. “How did yo–”

“Like I said, I know the guy.”

Clarke looks over to Lexa, who still is starring off to the other side of the room. “You trained her well.”

Lexa shrugs softly but doesn’t turn to meet Clarke’s stare.

Clarke turns back to Octavia and sighs, “What do you have to gain out of this?”

“The satisfaction of bringing down a pretty fucking horrible organisation,” Octavia replies blatantly. “You know, it’s not too late to join the right side of this.”

Clarke scoffs but before she can say anything, Octavia beats her to it.

“And before you say that _right_ is subjective,” Octavia says, “Think about your people. Fight _for_ them.”

Clarke points between Lexa and Octavia, “You two make quite the team, you know that?”

“Octavia’s right,” Lexa whispers. “It’s not too late to fight with us, Clarke.”

“You already know what I’m going to say to that.”

“Then why are we still here?” Lexa yells. She stands up from her the seat and Clarke immediately does the same, drawing out her weapon. “You keep saying that you’re sick of playing games but yet, here I am, still alive and walking around. You’ve had multiple chances to shoot me, to bring me in, but you always choose to walk away.”

Clarke keeps her gun on Lexa, her hands visibly shaking as she sees Lexa step closer. “Sit back down.”

“Or what?” Lexa taunts. She steps right up the barrel of the gun, until it’s pointing right into her chest. “You want to stop playing? Call game over, Clarke.”

Clarke visibly swallows the lump in her throat. It should be easy; she should be able to follow orders. But then again, this is Lexa we’re talking about. Lexa, despite the world she was put it, still managed to remain kind, loving and caring when it mattered the most. Lexa, who has saved her life more times than she can remember. Lexa, who she once loved (and maybe still does).

“Sit down,” Clarke tries again.

“Lexa–” Octavia pleads. “Sit down.”

Lexa shakes her head again and pushes forward on the barrel of the gun a little harder. “You know that this only ends one of two ways, Clarke. You’re sick of playing games, but it’s the same game over and over with you. Shoot me or leave.”

Clarke pulls back on the safety and Lexa doesn’t flinch once. Octavia does, she pleads for Lexa to sit, for her to not shoot, but it becomes static noise. All she can see are the emerald green eyes before her, boring down into her to see if she could take the shot.

It _should_ be easy.

There’s no easy way to put it, but taking a life, “within reason,” has never been an issue for her. So it should be easy because Lexa is waging a war between her and her people, but it’s not. It’s the hardest choice she’s ever faced since becoming an agent. She can feel the tears starting to pool in her eyes and she tries to shake them off.

“The last thing I ever wanted to do is put you in this situation,” Lexa whispers. “But I can’t stop this, Clarke. I have put everything into this, risked everything, put people I care about in danger. I can’t stop now, and I won’t. This ends when The Ark is gone or when I am.”

Clarke manages regain control of her trembling hand. “Not much has changed. Still talking about your death like it’s a casual thing.” Lexa doesn’t reply and the two simply continue to hold each other’s gaze. The room is so silent; the only thing you can hear is the clock ticking on the wall, Octavia’s shallow breathing and the cars driving past on the streets below.

She feels like she’s going to throw up. Clarke feels like her insides are turning and if anyone at The Ark finds out that she knows who the mole is, she’s going to be floated before she can take another breath.

This is serious.

This is also Lexa.

Clarke turns the safety back on and retreats her gun. She looks over to Octavia and shakes her head. “If I see you anywhere near The Ark again, I will bring you in,” Clarke warns. “And I can tell you right now, higher ups will have no problem floating you... but not before Alie gets what she wants.” She doesn’t stick around for a reply, moving towards the door and leaving the apartment abruptly.

 

* * *

 

Once the door closes, Lexa is immediately running towards the kitchen and opening a few draws until she finds a pair of scissors. When she gets them, she makes her way over to Octavia and cuts the zip ties. “You okay?” she asks.

Octavia nods unconvincingly. She takes the scissors from Lexa and does the same before slumping back on the couch. “Is it safe to stay here?”

“Yes,” Lexa whispers as she slumps onto the couch as well. “If Clarke wanted to kill us or bring us in, she would have.”

Silence fills the room again as both women take a moment to let their minds catch up to what just happened. Lexa is on the verge of breaking down, but she holds herself together. After being interrogated by Alie, escaping The Ark and now _this_ she feels like she’s in way over her head. She is absolutely drained at this point; both physically and mentally. And that definitely isn’t good.

“You’re bleeding,” Octavia points out.

Lexa looks down to her stomach to see blood seeping through her jumper. Her whole body feels numb at this point and she probably wouldn’t have noticed if Octavia didn’t say anything. “Got a first aid kit?”

Octavia nods and rushes off to the bathroom. She’s back moments later and opening the kit, taking out some anti-bacterial cream and fresh bandages. “Need help?”

“It’s okay.” Lexa manages to pull over her jumper and leans back into the chair as she lifts up her shirt. Slowly, she peels off the bandage and winces slightly. Of course the one moment she needs to feel numb, her body decides to let her feel the pain again.

“Lexa…” Octavia breathes.

“Looks worse than it is,” Lexa replies. Octavia is watching her, concern written all over her face.

“Well it looks pretty fucking bad.”

Lexa chuckles as she continues to clean her wound. Obviously it’s not a funny situation, but laughing to cover up the pain is better than letting herself cry. “Do you want to know about Anya?”

“Should we you know… talk about the fact that Clarke knows?” Octavia asks.

Lexa shakes her head. “We both need a few more moments to gather our thoughts. Our minds are clouded right now, so let’s just take a moment to make sure we go through what happened the best we can.”

“How are you so calm about this?!”

Lexa applies the new bandage over her wound and looks back up to Octavia. “Do you trust me?” Octavia nods. “We both need a moment to breathe. To figure out the best plan from here, we need clear minds.”

Octavia takes a couple of deep breaths and nods. “Okay, tell me about Anya,” she says, trying to change the topic.

So Lexa goes on to tell Octavia everything about Anya – from the moment they started planning to the day she faked her death. Despite Anya’s tough exterior and face-value loyalty, she’s always been against The Ark. But like most agents, The Ark has something over her, something that would get her killed if it ever got out.

They’ve always just been on the same wavelength. Anya was Lexa’s mentor when Lexa was a recruit and their relationship went further as they became partners on Alpha team. Lexa tells Octavia about the amount of planning they did before she faked her death and how they came about on making certain decisions.

As Lexa tells the story, she can tell Octavia is thinking hard while trying to process it all. There are a few moments where it looks like Octavia manages to connect dots with what’s happened. She doesn’t regret not telling Octavia about Anya, but it is a damn good feeling to finally be able to share the story.

“Did Anya know who I was went I went in?” Octavia asks.

Lexa nods. “I told her that our ‘third person’ would be a recruit The Ark brought in around the same time I reveal myself. And the fact that you are Bellamy’s sister would have basically confirmed it for her.”

“Wow,” Octavia breathes. She leans back in the chair. “She had something to do with my graduation, didn’t she?”

Lexa nods again. “I’m guessing so. Alpha team and the most senior agents are called in to discuss which recruits they think are ready to become field agents. Remember, you were never meant to graduate but I guess from Anya’s perspective, you already had the training – you might as well be put to better use as a field agent.”

“I beat your record, by the way,” Octavia smirks.

Lexa scoffs slightly. “ _Technically_ , you trained with me for four years.”

“ _Technically,_ I still graduated two months within going into The Ark,” Octavia argues.

Lexa lifts both hands up just slightly, “I’ll let you have that one.”

“Anya really just waited around for what… four years for us to start this?”

“She did,” Lexa confirms. “Obviously, she did her own digging when she could but yeah. She really couldn’t do anything until we were ready as well.”

“Wow…”

Lexa hums in response.

“So…” Octavia trails off, “We have you and me, Anya, Lincoln and Luna. Anyone else I should know about?”

“Becca,” Lexa replies.

“Who?”

“B.”

“Ah,” Octavia nods. “The faceless wander to this entire plan. Four years and I finally get a name.”

“She’s not exactly faceless,” Lexa reveals.

Octavia sighs. “I don’t mean it literally, Lexa.”

Lexa shakes her head. “No, I mean you know the face. Becca… she’s Alie twin.”

“What. The. Fuck.”

And Lexa goes on to explain Becca’s story. To be able to move forward, all her cards need to be laid out on the table. Though she’s kept Becca a secret, that wasn’t her for Octavia’s benefit – but more so for Becca’s (given the woman was thought to be dead by The Ark). But now, Lexa needs all the help she can get. And that means bringing Octavia into the circle completely.

“Well that explains a lot,” Octavia says once Lexa finishes telling the story. “But I honestly picture this… Becca. All I see is Alie and that dress.”

“I know,” Lexa replies. “It took be a while to be able to see _just_ Becca. She was at the safe house when I got there and I almost shot her because I couldn’t Alie from my mind.”

“Sure you’re okay?” Octavia asks.

“If I say _yes,_ would you believe me?”

Octavia shakes her head. “But I won’t press further if you don’t want me to. I’m just concerned.”

“We just need to keep moving forward,” Lexa says.

“That, I can get on board with.”

“You should get some rest, Octavia.” Lexa pauses.

“Sleep is the last thing I want to do. I don’t think it’s going to happen tonight.”

Lexa shrugs. “Clear mind to move forward, Octavia. And I need some sleep. Are you going to be okay here by yourself? You can come back with me to the safe house.”

“What about my tracker?”

“I can clone the signal to make it look like you’re in your apartment,” Lexa replies.

Octavia thinks about it for just a moment before shaking her head. “Nah, I’ll be fine here. Are you going to be okay getting back? I can give you a ride.”

Lexa shakes her head. “I’ve had worse.”

“No you haven’t,” Octavia argues back.

Lexa sighs because yeah, Octavia's just called her right out. “I got here, didn’t I?” She lets out a small smile when Octavia doesn’t seem convinced. “Look, I’ll let you know once I’m back at the safe house. Come by tomorrow and we can figure out a plan.”

Octavia nods. “What if I get called in? Can’t exactly say no to coming in… but Bellamy and Clarke know so…”

“Call Anya before you go in,” Lexa replies. “I know it’s not the most full-proof plan, but like you said, you can’t just ignore orders to come in. Anya will make sure Clarke and Bellamy don’t do anything to you.”

“How long will I have to keep playing agent? Ignoring the fact that Clarke and Bellamy could rat me out any moment…” Octavia asks.

“Until we can get that tracker out of you,” Lexa answers. “And look, there’s something I have to tell you.” There was never going to be a good time to tell Octavia about the chip, so Lexa figures that now is a better time than any. Putting all her cards on the table meant that _this_  is going up as well.

“What is it?”

“The chip in you, it’s also a kill chip.”

Octavia’s eyes go wide. “What?”

“While I was in The Ark, they were just experiments,” Lexa explains. “They were… a temporary tracking unit but they didn’t last longer than 24 hours within the person. They obviously had a couple of breakthroughs since then.”

“Are you saying that Jaha– or someone at The Ark has the ability to kill me with like… a push of a button?” Lexa nods. “And how long have you known about this?”

“Since the day of the black box auction.”

“LEXA!”

Lexa sighs a little. “It wouldn’t have helped, if you knew. There was no plan so there wasn’t anything we could do. You didn’t need that stress and panic.”

“And there’s a plan now?”

Lexa shakes her head and Octavia lets out a disgruntled sigh. “This is me, laying out all my cards on the table. There are no more secret allies, or plans, no more things that you don’t know about.”

“Really?”

Lexa nods. “Really. Becca is doing everything she can to figure it out the chip. Trust her.”

“I trust _you_ ,” Octavia whispers.

“We’ll figure it out. Oso throu daun ogeda.”

“ _Together_.”

 

* * *

 

By the time she gets back to her safe house, Lexa is about ready to sleep. This isn’t a common feeling for her, but after the day she’s just had, sleep is honestly the only thing she wants. But life is cruel, and she gets a call from one of the last people she wants to hear from - Nia Quin.

“What is it, Nia?” 

“ _What a warm greeting,”_ Nia replies.

“I don’t have time for this,” Lexa sighs.

Nia tuts over the phone. “ _You’ll make time for this. I want my payment for backing you in the auction. I want that file, Lexa. You have till 3pm tomorrow.”_

Everything in Lexa wants to scream. She knew that she would have to deal with Nia sooner or later, but she would have rather it be the latter. Or at least any time that isn’t _now._ “I need more time.”

“ _Sorry. This is a time sensitive issue.”_

“I don’t know what to tell you, Nia. I need more time.”

“ _Tell me, does your answer change after you watch the video I just sent you?”_

“What–” Lexa stops as she feels her phone vibrate. She sees that Nia has just sent her a video and when she plays it, there are no words to describe the feeling that she is overcome with. It’s a video of Tris (her foster sister) gagged and tied down to a chair.

“Nia! YOU FUCKING–”

“ _Bring me the file Lexa, and I’ll let her go,”_ Nia interrupts. “ _It’s a simple exchange.”_

Lexa grits her teeth and her free hand balls into a fist. Her breathing becomes harsh and she doesn’t even try to control it. She should have seen this coming. Nia is relentless and would do anything to get what she wants.

“ _I take it from your silence that I’ll be seeing you tomorrow at 3pm, Ice Nation. Come alone.”_

And before Lexa can say anything else, the call ends. Frustration runs through her more so than any other moment she’s faced. She has done her best to try and keep Tris as far away from her life as possible, but still that wasn’t enough. It's never enough.

Lexa gets to her laptop and reopens Operation Callaway. She reads the part of the file that isn’t redacted and if she wasn’t already feeling sick, she’s definitely feeling it now.

“ _Mark Callaway, Russian associate, shot and killed on his way to the US.”_

_“Ark team apprehended the hitman.”_

_“Payment for services: the secured location of 15kg of uranium.”_

Lexa does end up running for the bathroom to throw up. She remains over the toilet bowl for a couple of minutes. And she thought being captured by The Ark was the worst part of her day. No, it definitely wasn’t. She has the (redacted) location of enough uranium that could build a nuclear bomb and she’s just expected to hand it over to Nia.

There is no way Lexa can hand over this file. But then there’s Tris. There’s an obvious choice, because can't let Nia potentially create a nuclear weapon. But Tris is family, the only family she considers to be real. Though she hasn’t seen Tris is almost a decade, it didn’t make it not true. Tris is truly innocent in all of this and it’s not fair that she’s been brought into the shit-storm that is Lexa’s life.

 

After she rinses her mouth, she returns back to her laptop. She continues to scroll through the file. And by the end of the file, everything just seems to be blacked out. This is definitely going to cause some trouble because the one part Nia’s most interested in, the location of the uranium, is part of the redacted information.

The door she has into The Ark system isn’t big enough for her to attempt to unlock the file, and even if it was her computer skills did not extend that far. She manages to come up with a quick and very basic plan though. Her ultimate goal is to get Tris to safety and she _might_ just be able to using what she’s got anyways.

Ice Nation is a good 4 hour drive away so Lexa starts to pack her essentials. She’s not getting any sleep tonight. It’s been a while since she’s stepped foot in the area, so she needs to get there early and scope the place out – especially since she’s going in alone.

Lexa sits on the couch and puts in her Bluetooth earpiece. She calls Anya and starts to clean a few of her weapons.

_“Hello?”_

“It’s me,” Lexa whispers.

“ _Are you okay?”_

Lexa hums in response. “Are you?”

“ _Of course I am.”_

Anya’s tone is light and playfully cocky. It’s not jackass-cocky, it’s Anya-cocky which basically is a simple tease of “ _come on, I’m the head of Alpha team.”_ Lexa manages a small smile but that obviously doesn’t last very long. “Clarke knows about Octavia. And Bellamy as well.”

“ _WHAT? She left The Ark without any problems.”_

“Bellamy got to her just as she was getting into her car,” Lexa explains. “And Clarke reactivated the tracker I planted on her whilst Octavia’s apartment.”

“ _Wait, what tracker?”_

Lexa sighs softly, right, Anya didn’t know about the tracker in the watch. So she goes on to explain how Clarke’s watch played a role in their plan so far. She briefly talks about Jake again, she talks about fitting the GPS in and how it helped her since she started this whole thing.

“ _Is Octavia okay?”_

“A little shaken up, but then again, I am as well.”

“ _How did they find out?”_

Lexa shrugs. “I don’t know, but we don’t have time to dwell on it. I need you to call Octavia in tomorrow and just keep an eye on her. Both Clarke and Bellamy warned her to stay away, but we both know that’s not going to be easy.”

“ _And you’re not pulling her out yet because of the chip…”_

“Yeah,” Lexa nods. Anya didn’t know about Becca at this point either, so Lexa explains that Becca has been helping her all this time. She can’t tell how Anya is reacting to the news, but by the sheer silence from the woman’s end, Anya’s just trying to process everything that Lexa is telling her. Her Becca story finishes with Lexa explaining that they were waiting for Becca to give them a way out of the chip situation.

“ _You’ve been busy.”_

Lexa laughs. “Yeah, that’s one way to put it.”

“ _Yeah, I’ll call her in tomorrow. How’s Lincoln and Luna?”_

“Box four is destroyed.” That’s the one good news that has come out of the day.

“ _Okay and do you need me to do anything else? What’s your next move?”_

Lexa pauses for a moment and contemplates telling Anya about her plan with Nia. But she decides against it. Octavia needs someone close by in case things got ugly so Lexa figures that can do this on her own. “Just make sure Octavia is okay,” she replies. “I’m running down some leads on my end. And I’ll keep you updated.”

“ _Alright. You know where to find me if you need me.”_

“Hey Anya–”

“ _Yes?”_

Lexa pauses for a moment and takes a deep breath. “Thank you, for everything.” And Lexa quite literally means it when she says _for everything_. Anya is definitely one of the people who made this all possible. Without Anya, it would be a whole different story.

“ _Thank me when it’s over, Lex. Get some rest.”_

“You too.” Lexa pulls the earpiece out and assembles her final gun. She manages a quick shower and reassess her wounds. She double checks her pack, and she’s still just feeling so sick from this whole situation. Everything has come crashing down all at one and it’s so hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

 

* * *

 

Octavia is a confident person. Of course there are a few things that test her confidence, but she’s a generally confident person. But today, she is anything but confident. She’s walked through The Ark countless times, but this morning, it feels like the floors are going to fall through at any moment. It feels like every single person is looking to her, talking about her and she feels like she’s at the edge of a cliff.

Anya had called her in the morning and picked her up so they could come into The Ark together. Octavia knows that she’s almost out of her depths so she accepts the help without hesitation. This whole plan is crumbling at their fingertips and it’s so hard to see how they’re going to get out of this.

“Just FYI, I’m not leaving your side today,” Octavia whispers.

Anya simply turns to face Octavia and provides a reassuring nod. It’s enough for Octavia know that she’s at least one person in The Ark looking out for her. They walk towards the main operations room and Anya gestures for her to follow as well.

“Am I even allowed in there?” Octavia asks.

Anya nods. “You’re my second now. And with that, you’re allowed basically anywhere as long as I’m there. If anyone asks, I’m grooming you to potentially become part of Alpha team.”

“Like a mentor?”

Anya nods.

“Okay.” Octavia steps into the control room with no further reaction, since she knows it’s just a play to keep her cover. As she walks in, she sees the usual people who generally occupy this space; Jaha, Kane, IT guys, senior agents and the rest of Alpha team. Immediately, her eyes fall on Clarke, who hasn’t seen her yet.

“Agent Blake,” Roan greets. “Congrats. Anya hasn’t chosen a second since Lexa.”

“Yeah,” Octavia replies lamely. She swallows the lump in her throat as Clarke’s stare then falls on her. If this moment was an animation, there would be buildings falling, fires and explosions, it would be a complete chaos to depict the look in Clarke’s eyes.

“This is a restricted area, Blake,” Clarke says.

“She’s my second,” Anya cuts in.

Raven steps forward and raises an eyebrow, “You didn’t tell me you were getting a second?”

“When did this happen?” Clarke asks.

“It’s been in the works for a while,” Anya explains. “I’ll put in the paperwork later today, but I figured she could start shadowing.” She then turns her gaze back to the main screen. “Who does Alie have in the basement?”

“A couple agents who we think might be the mole…” Roan replies.

As Octavia hears this, her stare falls back on Clarke again who is looking right at her. If looks could kill, honestly. But Clarke doesn’t say anything, instead she simply walks out of the room without another word.

She doesn’t know why, but Octavia’s feet automatically start to move as well. There’s this part of her that feels like she should explain to Clarke, _why_ she’s doing this. She knows it’s ridiculous, but Clarke has definitely been someone who she’s formed a relationship with while she’s been in here. Thankfully though, Anya stops her.

Anya just shakes her head.

And Octavia gulps in response and remains where she is. She stands back and listens as everyone in the room continues to watch Alie interrogate the other agents. It makes her squirm and cringe and it's eating away at her. The amount of guilt that runs through is indescribable, it gets to a moment where she’s on the verge of tears.

Thankfully, Anya is guiding them out of the operations room soon enough. “Focus,” Anya whispers. “You haven’t gotten this far only to fail now.”

Octavia waits till they’re in a quieter area to reply. “Those people down there with Alie are innocent –”

Anya shakes her head. “None of us are innocent.”

“They’re not the mole,” Octavia clarifies. “It’s really fucking hard to just sit back and know what’s going on in there because of the things I’ve done.”

Anya doesn’t reply straight away and picks up her pace. The only thing Octavia can do is follow. They make their way through the facility and end up in an empty room, with Anya closing the door behind them. She walks to Octavia, index point right to the young agent. “You need to focus,” Anya says again.

“How can I do that?! There are five people who are–”

“–The bigger picture,” Anya cuts in. “It’s those five people versus the next five people who will be brought in as recruits who won’t have a choice to if they want this life or not. It’s not only those next five recruits though, it’s the five after that, and then the five after _that.”_

Octavia takes a couple of deep breaths.

“Trust me, I know that this isn’t right. But sometimes we have to lose a couple of battles before we win the war.”

Octavia brings her hands to her face and rubs her eyes harshly. She nods softly and whispers, “Okay.” But she isn’t given any more time to process her thoughts as she feels the buzz of her phone in her back pocket. She checks it and it’s a coded email from Lexa (since she didn’t carry her burner phone when coming into The Ark for obvious reason).

“I just got an email from Lexa,” Octavia says.

“Really?”

Octavia hums in response. It takes her a minute to decode the message, but when she does she almost drops her phone.

 

> _Going to Ice Nation. Nia has Tris. If I’m not back in 24 hours you know what to do._

“What?” Anya asks.

Octavia looks up from her phone and immediately back down to the screen. She double checks that she’s decoded the message correctly, and gasps again to see that she read it right the first time. “Nia has Tris,” she whispers. “Lexa’s gone to Ice Nation and said that if she isn’t back in 24 hours I…”

“–Fucking Lexa,” Anya breathes. “She told me she was running down leads, that’s why she asked me to keep an eye out for you.”

“Why didn’t she tell us?”

“Because, she’s concerned about you enough as it is,” Anya replies. “She’s not going to put you in the wrath of Nia as well.”

Octavia sighs, “Well that’s not really her choice to make.”

“You should know her by now.”

Octavia sighs again. Because yeah, Anya is right. The more she thinks about it, the more that she isn’t surprised Lexa has gone off like this. She doesn’t like it, but she can understand Lexa’s reasons. “I have to go and–”

“–Whoa, whoa, hold up there,” Anya cuts in.

Octavia shakes her head. “I can’t just stand here and do nothing. I’m going and you can’t stop me.”

“I’m not stopping you,” Anya replies. “But we need a plan. Ice Nation is not a place you want to go into without a plan.”

“ _We?”_

Anya nods. “Yes, _we._ Look, I’ve been to Ice Nation a few times but it’s still fairly unknown to me.”

“I don’t really see a plan to tackle that.”

“I do,” Anya whispers. “But it’s… fucking outrageous, even by my standards.”

“Tell me.”

“Well, there is one person in this facility who knows Ice Nation well.”

“Who?”

Anya doesn’t reply straight away. “Clarke,” she whispers.

Octavia scoffs immediately and just shakes her head. “You’ve got to be kidding me.” Anya shakes her head. “Clarke wants me dead. She’s not going to help.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. If she wanted you dead, she would have killed you last night.”

“That’s comforting.” Octavia rolls her eyes.

“I mean it.”

“Did you not see the way she was looking at me in the operations room?” Octavia asks. “That was the look of someone who hates my guts.”

“Well you did play her the entire time you were here.”

“Anya…” Octavia whispers.

“Look, I told you it’s an outrageous plan but we need Clarke. She knows that place better than anyone here. Nia is always asking for her to join her team."

Octavia doesn’t really know what to say. Is there anything she could say? No, probably not. It is an extraordinarily, outrageous plan. But Octavia does trust Anya – they both wanted to make sure Lexa gets back to them.

“Everyone has a weakness,” Anya says. “And for Clarke, it’s Lexa.”

“Lexa’s going to hate us for using Clarke.”

“She will,” Anya nods.

“Are you sure we need Clarke?”

“I’m sure.”

 

After they establish a little more of plan, Anya is leaving to head to Ice Nation first. It’s a tough call, because that would mean Octavia is left alone in The Ark, but it’s a call they have to make. They can’t waste any more time because they have no idea on what’s meant to be happening between Lexa and Nia.

So the plan is as follows. Anya is already off to Ice Nation to find Lexa. Before Octavia can head up as well, she needs to get Clarke on board. Which means she has to go and talk to Clarke. Which _also_ means that she’s basically putting herself in the line of fire. But this is Lexa, this is _her_ mentor and Octavia would never forgive herself if she didn’t try.

It doesn’t mean that she isn’t scared out of her wits though. If she thought her confidence was shot as she walked through The Ark earlier, now it’s just completely obliterated. Octavia has to find Clarke and convince her to come help her, help Lexa. Everything within her is just hoping and praying that Clarke says yes.

Octavia makes her way towards the facility in search of Clarke. As luck would have it, it doesn’t take long to see a familiar flash of blonde hair at the end of an empty hallway. She knows Clarke's seen her, but Clarke continues on and Octavia follows. They reach the locker rooms and the moment Octavia steps inside, Clarke has a gun pointed at the base of her head.

 

* * *

 

“Don’t move,” Clarke says. She watches as Octavia lifts her hands up in surrender and goes to disarm the agent in front of her. To make sure Octavia isn’t carrying any more weapons, Clarke gives her a quick pat down before spinning her around.  “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t bring you in right now.”

“It’s Lexa,” Octavia replies. “I’m concerned about her.”

“Then why aren’t you with her? I told you if you came back–”

Octavia sighs. “She’s gone rogue.”

Clarke rolls her eyes, “That’s not news, Octavia.”

“No, rogue-rogue,” Octavia clarifies. “She said that if I don’t hear from her in 24 hours I need to…”

Octavia doesn’t have to finish what she’s saying for Clarke to pick up on what the current situation is. She should not be caring, but it’s impossible not to. Ever since Lexa showed up again, Clarke has been doubting her position in The Ark more than she’s ever had. “Why are you telling me this? It seems like you’re more than capable of helping her.”

“I know when I’m out of my depths. I need you.”

“You’re really risking yourself like this after I told you what would happen if you came back here?” Clarke asks.

Octavia takes a deep breath before nodding. “You don’t know what Lexa has done for me.”

“She’s put you in the middle of this war. You don’t owe her anything.”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” Octavia argues. “She’s never forced me to stay, or to do anything. I have an out. But I choose to be here.”

“Why?”

Octavia shakes her head. “If you’re not going to help, I have to go. You’re just wasting my time.”

Clarke doesn’t miss the conviction and determination in Octavia’s eyes. She’s fairly in the dark about the whole story between Lexa and Octavia, but she can take a few solid guesses to the dynamic the two women have. It should be easy. She should have no problem taking Octavia in. But Clarke scoffs silently to herself as the thought crosses her mind. She should know by now that whenever Lexa is involved, no decision is ever going to be easy.

Clarke puts the gun back in her holster. “Why do you need me?”

“Lexa’s going to, or is already at Ice Nation. Nia has Tris.”

“And you think I can help?” Clarke asks, raising an eyebrow.

“I know you can. I was told that you’ve spent a lot of time at Ice Nation, and I for one don’t even know the way there.”

“And why do you think I would help?”

“Because,” Octavia whispers, “You obviously still care about her.”

Clarke sighs. She knows she should say no and if anyone catches her, that would be the end. But it doesn’t stop her from feeling an ache in her chest, the tug at the part of her heart that seems to constantly sing Lexa’s name. She can’t help but picture an already vulnerable Lexa, trying to go up against Nia by herself.

Lexa is her weakness and of course Octavia knows exactly how to use that against her.

Octavia speaks up again. “Look if you’re not going to help then just say so and stop wasting my time. If you’re going to bring me in, then just fucking do it so I can move forward.” She pauses. “Lexa’s right, you constantly say that you don’t want to play games… but yet you still play them. You act like you don’t care when you still do. You constantly defy orders to bring Lexa in and I’m honestly surprised that I am still alive. So I wonder, what’s tying you to The Ark?”

“You don’t know anything about me,” Clarke grits through her teeth.

“That’s where you’re wrong. But I have no time to argue with you.”

Clarke’s breathing picks up dramatically. She doesn’t know why, but Octavia has really gotten under skin the things that have been said. And she should be able to defend herself but she can’t bring herself to. Her actions since Lexa appeared have been nothing but confusing and she’s surprised herself that no one (other than Octavia) has said anything about it.

“So what’s going to happen Clarke?” Octavia asks. “Are you coming with me or am I coming with you?”

Clarke takes a moment and lets out a couple of breaths. She nods and steps aside, opening to door to the locker room. "Let's go," she says, "Ice Nation is a good drive away."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, thank you for sticking around and reading!


	13. slow dance with the devil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lexa is at ice nation trying to get tris back. anya's on her way to help, as are octavia and clarke. what could possibly go wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a slightly earlier update this week because i've got a busy weekend ahead. 
> 
> hope you're well/happy reading xx

Clarke is in the car and driving towards Ice Nation. She knows that deep down inside, if anything happens to Lexa and she could have helped in any way, she wouldn't be able to forgive herself. Clarke still cares so much.

Octavia sits in the backseat and she manages to steal a couple of glances. Octavia is concerned beyond repair at this point and Clarke knows that it’s going to be the longest four-hour drive of her life.

_Why?_

Because Raven is also in the car with them. She doesn’t lie to her superiors about where she’s heading for the day. She called Nia's assistant and asked her if she could come by for a meeting. Clarke lies and says that she’s finally, maybe, considering joining Nia’s team. And Nia, she’s thrilled and says yes without hesitation. It’s not uncommon for Clarke to go up to Ice Nation, so no one bats an eye when she does.

Except word travels fast and Raven catches on that Clarke is making the trip up, so she tags along. Raven is scheduled up to go the following day to check out a new project Ice Nation is conducting. But since Clarke’s already driving, Raven wants to save herself the time and joins in on the trip.

So now, here they are, in a tension filled car on the motor way. Of course the tension only exists between Clarke and Octavia, but Raven is no idiot. She's probably picked up on it already. Clarke tries to make light of the situation and just says that she’s just not feeling well. Whether Raven believes it or not, her friend doesn’t push much further – which Clarke is grateful for.

Raven turns in her chair to face Octavia, “I thought you’d be shadowing Anya.”

Clarke visibly gulps because the last thing they need is for Raven to be poking around. She doesn't want to bring Raven into this miss (more than she's already have).

“Anya asked Clarke if I could come along since I haven’t been to Ice Nation yet,” Octavia replies coolly.

Raven nods and turns back to face the front. “You know, despite it being Nia’s company, they’ve got a pretty good grasp on the latest tech and innovation. But I know that’s not really your thing.”

Octavia manages to chuckle slightly. 

“Think you’ve got what it takes to be a part of Alpha team?” Raven asks.

Clarke is trying her best to not react or make it seem like something is wrong the entire Raven and Octavia talk. It’s mostly Raven just trying to fill in the silence, but it is agonising for Clarke since she knows what is really going on. What she does notice though, is that Octavia seems as chill as ever, like this was just another day as an Ark agent. Her replies are well-thought out and carefully constructed and very close to the truth.

The conversation soon falls on the topic of Bellamy.

“Things between us are…” Octavia pauses. “We’re not exactly seeing eye to eye at the moment.”

Clarke looks in her rear view mirror and catches Octavia’s stare. Octavia’s eyes say it all. Bellamy also knows, but how much he knows, she can’t be sure. Nothing should really surprise her at this point. But Clarke can fully understand why Bellamy hasn’t said anything – this is his sister.

“I’m sure you guys can work it out,” Raven offers.

“Unlikely,” Octavia huffs.  

Raven turns back in the chair, “Well if you need me to talk to him, just let me know. I can knock some sense into him.”

“I appreciate it.”

Raven turns back in her chair and Clarke just continues to focus on driving. Another silence falls between them and she turns up the radio in an attempt to cut through the tension. It absolutely doesn’t help that all the stations seem to be playing songs that reminds her of Lexa.

 

* * *

 

Lexa sits in the car park outside Ice Nation. The weight of the world is on her shoulders and then some more. She feels like complete shit and knows for a fact that she is in no condition to go up Nia, but time is not on her side today. Everything still hurts, still burns, the memories of Alie still sends an absolute shiver down her spine. But again, time is not her friend and she has about an hour before she’s meant to go in.

She’s running on about an hour’s sleep. She got to the area in the very early morning and got a room in a run-down motel so she could reassess her wounds easily. After her quick, but very restless nap, she got to work in trying to find floor plans for the Ice Nation building. With luck on her side this one time, she manages to hack into the local council’s database to get what she needs.

She studies the floor plans as best she could. But with the building as big as it is, it’s hard to come up with a good plan. Plus, it’s so hard to focus when she feels like her insides and her entire body is burning in the pits of hell.

Lexa reads through the mostly redacted file again. Her plan is to give Nia the first page (which has all the basic information it) to Nia, demand that she let Tris go, then give her the rest of the file. Hopefully by the time Nia realises that it’s mostly redacted, she and Tris will be out of there. It’s not the best plan, but it’s all she’s got.

_ANYA CALLING_

Lexa hits ignore. She knows she should answer, just in case that it’s got to do something with Octavia but she can’t bring herself to talk to anyone at the moment. It feels like she’s let a lot of people down at this stage. It’s a sickening feeling, like she isn’t enough, like she hasn’t done enough to ensure the safety of the people who have done nothing but help her.

It’s constantly eating away at her – the guilt, and the burden she carries. If one of these people die in the middle of this, their blood is on her hands. While she’s always given people a choice, it’s hard not to feel responsible when they’re all looking to her.

The time ticks over to 2:10pm and Lexa sighs. She gives herself another minute to let herself feel all the things that she’s feeling. She also cries. The tears run hot down her cheeks and after another a couple minutes she shakes it off and refocuses. She might not be in any good physical shape, but she can at least try to be mentally and emotionally prepared for what’s going to happen.

When she steps out of her car, a familiar figure starts to make their way towards her. “What are you doing here, Anya?”

Anya crosses her arms over her chest. “What are _you_ doing, Lex? You’re in no fucking condition to be doing this alone.”

“Where’s Octavia?”

“She’s on her way.” Anya pauses. “What happened to ‘we fight together’?”

Lexa sighs. “This isn’t your battle, Anya. I made this deal with Nia, I’m the one who needs to deal with it.”

“That’s a load of shit and you know it, Lexa.”

“Are you really surprised that I tried to do this alone?” Lexa asks. “You know me.”

Anya shakes her head. “I do, but it doesn’t mean you’re not an idiot. I have been on your side since the beginning Lexa. Why didn’t you–”

“Exactly!” Lexa calls out. “You have been with me from the beginning and you have risked so much for this. I’m not, I wasn’t going to put you or Octavia in anymore danger than I already have.”

“We can’t do this without you.”

Lexa closes her eyes and takes a few deep breaths.

“Even after all these years, why do you think you have to fight alone?” Anya steps forward and softly places her hand on Lexa’s shoulder, being mindful that her friend is probably still in immense pain. “We’re in this _together.”_

Lexa pats the hand on her shoulder and nods. While she didn’t _want_ to involve Anya and Octavia, she knows she _needs_ them now. And with Anya already here and Octavia on her way, she also knows she has no chance in trying to get them to stay out of this.   

She watches Anya take a step back and offers a small smile. Even after all this time, Anya knows exactly what to do and what to say to help her clear her mind and move forward. Well, she doesn’t have a solid plan but knows hat however this plays out, Anya will have her back throughout the whole thing.

“I have to meet with Nia soon,” Lexa whispers.

“What’s the exchange?” Lexa doesn’t reply straight away so Anya presses further. “Lexa…”

“Operation Callaway.”

“LEXA!”

“I know, I know.”

“Do you?” Anya asks. “Do you know what’s in that file?”

Lexa nods. “You know I wouldn’t hand something like that over.”

“So you have a plan?” Anya asks.

“Yeah, but it’s not a very good one.”

 

After discussing her not-so-very-good plan, Lexa and Anya split to see what they can do. Lexa gives Anya the floor plans so she can try scoping the place to find Tris. While Anya is doing that, Lexa is meant to buy some time. So right now she’s walking (or more so less dragging her feet) towards the reception desk.

“Hi, welcome to Ice Nation. How can I help you?” the woman behind the desks asks.

Lexa sucks in a quick breath. “I have a meeting with Nia.”

“Name?”

“Lexa. Lexa Woods.”

The woman checks her computer for a brief moment before nodding. “Oh, you’re a little early. Miss Quin is currently out of the building but should be back in time.” She gestures to the lounge area not too far away, “You’re welcome to take a seat. I will grab you when Miss Quin arrives.”

Lexa nods. “Thank you.” She starts to walk towards the lounge area and that's when she spots Octavia walking out of the women’s bathroom not too far away. At first it’s all good, but then Clarke is walking out from the bathroom right behind her.

Without a second thought, Lexa is making her way towards them. She suddenly has a new found burst of energy and she forgets about the immense pain she’s in. All she could think about is why the hell Clarke is here, let alone here with Octavia. They don’t see Lexa approaching, but when she’s close enough she makes her move.

Lexa pushes Clarke back into the bathroom and quickly turns back to Octavia. “Find Anya,” she whispers before kicking the door closed and turning back to Clarke. “What the hell are you doing here?” she asks as she locks the door. From the other side she can hear Octavia calling out and knocking, but she ignores it – assuming that it’s part of the act. “What the hell are you doing with Octavia?”

Clarke folds her hands over her chest. “I’m here to help.”

Lexa scoffs. Like she actually scoffs, not once, but twice. “You’re hilarious.”

“I’m serious.”

“Clarke, I am not in the mood to be playing games.”

“I’m not playing, Lexa.” Clarke takes a step closer, “Octavia told me that Nia took Tris. I’m here to help.”

“I don’t need it.”

“You can barely walk straight,” Clarke argues.

Lexa shakes her head. “I don’t need _your_ help.” That’s a complete lie at this point, but there is no way she is going to bring Clarke into this also. She’s already carrying enough weight on her shoulders, and she doesn’t need anymore. Not to mention how dangerous this is on Clarke’s behalf considering that they’re meant to be on opposite sides of this war.

Clarke lifts up both her hands. “No games. I promise.”

“Why?”

“Why what?” Clarke asks.

“Why are you here?” Lexa clarifies. “12 hours ago you had a gun to me and said that if you saw Octavia again, you’d take her in. You say that you’re not playing games, but here you are, with Octavia and saying that you’re here to help.”

“Because I am. Believe it or not Lexa, I still,” Clarke pauses and sighs. “I still care about you.”

“You shouldn’t.”

“You don’t think I know that?”

Lexa brings her hands to rub her face, instantly wincing as the adrenalin from moments earlier wears off. “I can’t bring you into this. I won’t.”

“Well you really don’t have a choice,” Clarke replies.

“Clarke.”

“Lexa.”

“They’ll float you if higher ups find out.”

Clarke shakes her head. “I’ve got it covered.” When Lexa goes silent, she sighs. “Look at yourself Lexa. You cannot do this alone, and I’m telling you right now that you don’t have to. I know how much you care about Tris and I want to help get her back to safety.”

“You shouldn’t be doing this.”

“I’ve been doing a lot of things I shouldn’t be doing ever since you showed up again,” Clarke counters. “So what’s the plan?”

Lexa takes a step back and shakes her head again. She starts to pace back and forth as her thoughts begin to jumble in her mind. It’s so hard to concentrate when she’s going through the mental and physical pain she’s going through. She knew that this mission was going to be a mess, but it just keeps getting messier by the second. There’s just too many unknowns for Lexa’s liking.

“Nia wants a file from The Ark in return for Tris,” Lexa reveals.

“Do you have the file?” Clarke asks. Lexa nods. “What is it?”

Lexa takes a deep breath in. “Operation Callaway.”

“LEXA!”

“I know what you’re thinking.”

“Well you damn better know,” Clarke replies harshly. “A potential nuclear weapon is no joke, Lexa.”

Lexa raises her hand slightly. “I know that. I have a plan.”

“Is it a good one?”

“No,” Lexa breathes. Silence falls between them and she watches Clarke get lost in a train of thought. When Lexa was still an agent, Clarke had a habit of closing her eyes and tapping her fingers along her thigh whenever she was trying to come up with a plan. And it’s still a habit Clarke carries.

“Then we go with my plan.”

Lexa raises an eyebrow. “And what would that be?”

“Come with me.”

 

* * *

 

Surprisingly, Lexa lets Clarke step around her to open the bathroom door. Obviously the first thing Clarke notices is that Octavia is gone.

“She’s doing something for me,” Lexa explains.

Clarke nods and continues to walk, prompting Lexa to follow. “She better be careful.”

“She’s been undercover in The Ark for nearly 3 months now,” Lexa points out. “She’s more than capable of handling things herself.”

“Then why am I here?” Clarke bites back. It comes a lot harsher than intended, but sometimes she just doesn’t have to patience to act like things are okay.

“Because she knows when she’s out of her depth.”

“Something she obviously didn’t learn from you,” Clarke whispers.

Lexa sighs and comes to a stop.

Clarke stops as well.

“Look Clarke,” Lexa breathes. “If you don’t want to help then don’t. Just walk away because the last thing I need right now is someone who isn’t ready and willing to give everything into this.”

Clarke takes a couple of deep breath and apologises. “Please just… just trust me. I want to help.” Without another word, she turns back around and continues walking. It’s a couple seconds later that she feels Lexa jog right up to her and she lets out a sigh of relief. Clarke is absolutely surprised that Lexa is letting her take the lead on this, but that only shows how desperate Lexa is for this to work.

They bypass security without any problems and Clarke guides them into an elevator. Once the door closes, Lexa is looking right at her. “What’s the plan?” Lexa asks.

Clarke just watches the number of the screen go up one by one. “You know that the file is redacted, right?” Lexa hums in response. “So we un-redact the file and change it. By the time they realise it’s wrong, we’ll have Tris and we can deal with whatever comes after that.

“How are we going to change the file?”

“ _We_ won’t be doing anything,” Clarke says. When the elevators door opens, they step and she continues down the halls. “Our IT skills combined probably won’t be anywhere near enough to change the file. However,” Clarke then comes to stop at a door, “We both know someone who can.”

“Who?”

Clarke raises a hand slightly towards the door they’re standing in front of, “How do you feel about a little reunion?” she asks. When Lexa raises an eyebrow, Clarke simply knocks on the door a couple of times.

“ _Come in!”_

And in that instance Clarke looks over to Lexa and can tell that she knows who exactly is at the other side of the door. Clarke reaches for the door knob and begins to push it open. However, Lexa reaches down and shuts the door completely.

“She’s going to kill me,” Lexa whispers harshly. “I don’t want to bring Raven into this.”

“She won’t kill you,” Clarke reassures.

“You don’t know that.”

Clarke shakes her head. “I do. I trust her and there was a time where you use to trust her too.”

Lexa sighs.

Clarke gives Lexa a moment to gather her thoughts. Raven is a genius and might be able to change the file so that it gives them the time they need to escape. She also trusts that Raven won’t kill Lexa the moment they enter the room. There is definitely going to be some sort of reaction, but they just need to fill Raven in on the situation.

Their little moment in interrupted as the door is being opened from the inside. Clarke doesn’t have a chance to respond before Raven draws out her gun at the first sight of Lexa. So instead, she steps in between them and starts to back Raven back into the room, instructing Lexa to close the door behind them.

“Clarke,” Raven warns, her gun still hot. “You better tell me what’s going on right now.”

Clarke steps forward and places her hand on barrel of the gun, slowly pushing it down. “I can explain.”

“Yeah you better.”

The look across Raven’s face is mostly confusion, maybe with a flash of anger. It’s understandable though. The news of Lexa’s return has affected everyone at The Ark – especially those who knew her from the time she was an agent.

Lexa speaks up first, “I made a deal with Nia,” she says as she takes a seat on the closest chair.

“That’s not a very smart move,” Raven replies.

Clarke shakes her head slightly. “Raven…”

“It’s okay,” Lexa cuts in. “She’s right. It wasn’t a smart move but it was the only move I had. But you know Nia can be. She’s taken my foster sister and to get her back I have to give her a file from The Ark system.”

“What file?”

Lexa falls into a fit of coughs so Raven turns to Clarke. Clarke sighs, “Callaway,” she whispers.

Raven holsters her gun and throws her hands in the air. “Oh you’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

“Unfortunately not,” Lexa wheezes from her spot.

Clarke then goes on to further explain the situation they’re in. She tells Raven that _this_ is the reason why she came up to Ice Nation in the first place and brining Octavia (who is “currently on one of the facility tours”) is part of the cover.

Of course Raven flips, asking why Clarke would put Octavia in (in)direct danger like this. Of course she glares at Lexa, but Lexa reassures everyone that she isn't here to hurt anyone. She just wants Tris back safely.

Lexa reminds them that they don’t have a lot of time left before she has to go and meet with Nia. So Clarke keeps moving forward in explaining her plan to Raven. And of course Raven looks at her like she’s crazy, but this is all they can do in the time they have left.

“So you want me to try and change the Callaway file?” Raven asks, raising her eyebrow.

Lexa nods. “Please.”

“We can’t let Nia get her hands on that location,” Clarke says. “But we have to save Tris.”

Clarke pauses to let Raven make the call. They really couldn’t do this without her and Clarke can tell that Raven is thinking long and hard about this. It is a lot to ask for but she wouldn’t be asking if they all weren’t so desperate.

Eventually, Raven nods. And both Clarke Lexa don’t hide the sigh of relief that escapes their lips.

“Can’t do it from this network though,” Raven says. “I have my stuff in the car.”

“So we go back to the car,” Clarke suggests.

Raven nods, “Yeah,” and starts to gather her belongings.

Clarke walks over to the door and holds it open for Raven and Lexa to walk out. Raven’s not doing anything to hide her reservations about the situation but Clarke can’t think about that yet. They were running against time at this point but she makes a silent promise to herself (and Raven) to talk about it when they get the chance.

Raven is out first and already making her way towards the elevators. But Lexa comes to stop right besides Clarke, leaning in just so slightly. “I need you to find Octavia, tell her the plan,” Lexa whispers. “I would do it myself but I won’t be as quick and you know this place better than any of us.”

Clarke nods. “Okay.” Moments later they’re all stepping into the elevator and making their way towards the ground floor. “Hey Raven, Lexa is going to go with you to decrypt the file. I need to assess make sure there’s a clear escape route for us afterwards.”

“You’re going to leave me alone with Lexa?” Raven asks.

Lexa immediately surrenders her weapon to Raven. “I’m not here to hurt you. I _just_ want Tris.” She pauses as Raven doesn’t take the gun off her yet. “I would go myself but I don’t know this place like Clarke does.”

Raven looks between Clarke and Lexa and Clarke doesn’t say anything. “Fine,” Raven replies. However, she pushes Lexa’s gun back towards her, “I know you won’t shoot me. Best you keep your gun just in case we run into any trouble.”

“Okay,” Clarke says. “I’ll give you, Raven, a call in about fifteen minutes.”

The elevator reaches the ground floor and all three women step out. Clarke takes not even ten steps away from the other two women before Lexa is running back towards her. She doesn’t really know what to think or feel when Lexa essentially steps right up to her, close enough to whisper something in her ear.

Lexa takes a step back, “Did you get that?”

Clarke nods. “Yeah, got it.”

 

* * *

 

Even outside the main building, Raven can feel Lexa’s presence _everywhere_. At this point she’s feeling… conflicted mostly. Like she’s somewhere in between wrong and right. But what she’s unsure about it which side is which. Lexa’s return has definitely taken a toll on her. While it’s not the same toll that The Ark has been feeling or the one that Clarke’s been feeling – it is still a big fucking toll.

Raven owes her life to Lexa. And yes, she can say this about the rest of Alpha team and the other agents she’s worked with, but Lexa was the first person to stick their neck out for her. Without Lexa, Raven would have been floated the day of her graduation mission.

Why?

Because she couldn’t take the shot, so Lexa did it for her.

 

**[The day before Raven’s graduation mission]**

_“Jab.”_

_“Jab.”_

_“Cross.”_

_“Upper-cut.”_

_“Jab.”_

_Raven hits every move that Lexa calls out. She’s got both her boxing gloves on and Lexa’s holding up the padding. It’s the day before her graduation mission and she’s nervous as hell. She doesn’t doubt her abilities; she knows she’s good but it’s the fact that all graduation missions are a kill missions. That’s what gets to her. She’s never taken a life before._

_“Cross.”_

_“Upper-cut.”_

_“Jab.”_

_And with one final hit, Raven takes a step back and taps out of their session. She moves over to the bench and takes a seat, wiping the sweat off her forehead._

_“Ready for tomorrow?” Lexa asks as she sits on the ground in front of her._

_Raven shakes her head and then takes a drink from her bottle. It’s the truth and she trust Lexa enough to say it. Lexa graduated not too long ago so if anyone is going to know what she'a going through, it would be her. There’s also Clarke, but she’s out on a mission._

_Plus, Raven feels as if maybe Lexa is better fit for what she needs right now. Right now she needs someone who will give it to her straight, no beating around the bush. She needs to prepare herself mentally for this._

_“How’d you do it?” Raven whispers._

_“You just do,” Lexa replies. “It’s either you or them.”_

_“Why do I feel like it should be me?”_

_“Because we aren’t the good guys.”_

_Raven drops her head into her hands and lets out a long sigh. “It’s a sick game, isn’t it? Kill or be killed.”_

_“Yeah, it is.” Lexa pauses._

_Raven lifts her head up again, “Can you tell me about it?”_

_“Killing someone?” Lexa asks. Raven nods. “It’s… nauseating. In that moment, the seconds before you pull the trigger, everything becomes void. What you don’t want to do is think about what you’re taking away.”_

_“Even if it’s a bad person?” Raven asks._

_Lexa nods. “We are all bad people. That’s why The Ark’s got us.” She pauses again. “You might be getting rid of a bad person but you’re also taking away someone’s child, mother, father, sister or brother… Even if it’s a bad person, chances are, they have someone who cares about them.”_

_“I think I need some time alone…”_

_Lexa stands up and nods._

_“Thank you, Lexa,” Raven whispers._

_“I’ll be there with you tomorrow.”_

_“Night.”_

_“Good night, Raven.”_

**[Raven’s graduation mission]**

_Raven focuses her lens again. Her graduation mission is taking place at the docks, where’s she’s meant to take out a high level target. She perched up on one of the cargo containers and she’s just waiting for the right time to take the shot. She knows exactly where the other Ark agents are, and she’s got an earpiece in with Lexa on the other end._

_“Remember to breathe,” Lexa tells her._

_Raven closes her eyes and swallows the lump in her throat. Her target hasn’t made a show yet – only his entourage. And with every passing moment, she grows a little more nervous. She refocuses her sniper; the lens pointing at her target’s right hand man, she adjusts for the slight wind speed and takes another deep breath._

_“Lexa?” Raven whispers._

_“I’m here.”_

_Raven takes another deep breath. “I’m going to be sick.”_

_“Well either do it now before your target shows up or after you’ve taken the shot.”_

_Raven laughs internally. The little comment Lexa made has her feeling like a little weight has been lifted off her shoulders, which is ridiculous. She needs to kill someone in order to stay alive. This is not the life she wants to be living, but she also doesn’t want to die._

_She hurdles herself away from the sniper and throws up. In her ear she can hear Lexa asking If she’s alright but Raven doesn’t reply. She wipes her mouth with her shirt and settles herself back at her sniper. She looks back through her lens and her target makes an appearance. Her breathing picks up and her heart rate staggers as she tries to calm herself to make the shot._

_“Breathe,” Lexa whispers over the mic._

_Raven nods and refocuses. Her finger hovers over the trigger but she can’t do it. There isn’t much time before she won’t have a clear shot anymore. It’s do or die and currently it looks like Raven is going to die. She should be able to take the shot, she’s read up on her target and on all the horrible things he’s done. But she can’t do it._

_“Lexa?” she whispers. But there is no reply over the mic and she feels stranded when she knows she shouldn’t. This is her mission. She’s meant to be able to take the shot._

_Raven hears someone approach her. Turning her head just to the side she sees Lexa standing there, her index finger over her lips. Moments later, Lexa is taking her spot at the sniper. Raven doesn’t say anything, but just watches as Lexa peers into the lens and adjusts accordingly._

_Three seconds later a shot is fired and Lexa leaves without saying a word._

 

**Present Day**

Since then it’s only ever been brought up once. The conversation happened the day after Raven’s graduation mission and it was very brief. Lexa just told her to say that she took the shot and never to speak of it again. So that’s what Raven did. But it didn’t stop her from thinking about it from time to time, and even worrying that Lexa may use it against her. But that obviously never happened.

Lexa is walking just slightly behind her and the tension just seems to build with every second. She knows that Lexa won’t hurt her, but it doesn’t stop her from feeling like a bomb is about to drop any second. It’s not a good feeling, but then again, it’s a feeling she’s become quite accustomed to since entering The Ark.

When they reach the car, Raven pops open the boot and pulls out her black bag. It’s essentially her private portable network that she carries around for emergencies. And well, while it’s arguable on whether or not this is emergency, there’s a big part of her that knows that this is the right thing to do. She doesn’t know a lot about Tris, but she knows Tris is innocent in all of this. And that’s enough.

She has her laptop and network booting up just moments later. Whether or not she can change the file is still unknown. Logically, she knows what she has to do but actually doing it is another story.

“Is there anything I can do?” Lexa asks.

Raven turns to look at Lexa and simply shakes her head. She gets a good look at the woman in front of her and is surprised by the fact that her heart feels like it’s sinking. Lexa looks as if she’s lost 10 years to her life. There has definitely been a change in the way Lexa carries herself since she was an Ark agent.

Not to mention the fact that Lexa looked as broken as ever at this point. It’s the physical attributes of Lexa that hits her the most. Alie really brought her all when she was interrogating Lexa, and part of Raven suddenly starts to feel guilty. Why? Because she had an indirect contribution to Lexa’s torture from when she was held up in The Ark.

Raven starts to navigate her way through her system. Retrieving the file is easy enough, given her clearance level.  However, it’s reading and analysing the code behind it that’s the cause for concern. Obviously she’s never done this before so she’s got to be careful not to trip any alerts that may be planted within the file.

“Do you have a first aid kit?” Lexa asks.

Raven nods. She runs around to the front of the car and grabs it from the glove compartment. Another tension-filled silence falls between them and it’s causing Raven’s stomach to turn. Usually she can push away her feelings, especially during missions, but this time she just can’t. The difference is that this time it all feels personal.

From the corner of her eye she can see Lexa slide off her jacket and the first thing she notices is that Lexa’s arms are wrapped in bandages. Lexa then lifts up her shirt and not surprisingly it’s covered in more bandages. She’s been an agent long enough, and has been through her fair share of beatings to know that Lexa’s got to be feeling like utter crap at this point.

But it’s Lexa, so she doesn’t let it show. Other than an occasional limp or minor groan, she still holds herself up like she’s ready to fight anyone that comes at her. It’s one of the qualities that she’s always admired about Lexa.

Raven continues to work through the code she thinks that will be able to change the file. She looks over to Lexa again, whose changing one of the bandages on her stomach. “Need a hand?” Raven asks.

Lexa shakes her head with a small smile. “I’m fine. How are you going with,” she motions her head towards the laptop.

“It’s coming along,” Raven replies. “I think. Never really done this before.”

“I’m sorry for dragging you into this.”

Raven nods and swallows the lump in her throat but she doesn’t say anything.

“Sorry for also… you know…” Lexa trails off slightly, “All of _this._ ”

Raven turns to her, “Then why?”

Lexa shakes her head, “You’re no idiot, Raven. You know why I’m doing this.” She pauses as she pulls off another bandage, wincing as her wounds become exposed.

“I’m sorry too,” Raven says.

“For what?”

“I…” Raven chokes on her words briefly. “I set up the electroshocks Alie used on you. High enough to hurt, but not knock you out..."

“–You have nothing to be sorry about it,” Lexa cuts in. “I may have been gone for four years but I will never forget what it’s like in there.”

Raven nods again and continues typing on her laptop. “I don’t know how you’re doing all of this.”

“I don’t know either,” Lexa replies softly.

“I don’t believe that for a second. But this conversation is heading into dangerous waters.”

Lexa chuckles. “So you don’t consider helping me ‘dangerous waters’?”

Raven lifts her index finger and she’s just about to say something before shaking her head. “You got me there.” She finishes the code and takes a deep breath, “Moment of truth…” All she had to do now is press the enter key to hopefully be able to change the file.

She clicks enter.

<< COMMAND FAILED >>

“Shit,” Raven says. “It didn’t work.”

Lexa pinches the bridge of her nose. “I have to meet Nia in like 20 minutes.”

“I have an idea.”

“Let’s hear it.”

Raven starts typing away at her computer again. “I managed to un-redact the file but we obviously can’t give that over. I however can plant a bug in the file.”

“A bug?” Lexa asks.

Raven nods. “Two seconds after the file is opened the bug will destroy the system.”

“Even the file?”

“Especially the file,” Raven assures. “It’s like the electronic version of making things go _BOOM.”_

“Are you sure it’s going to work?”

“Are you really doubting me, Woods?”

 

* * *

 

Ice Nation has top notch security. So in searching for Octavia, Clarke goes down to the basement first. It’s probably the one place that has little to no security so it’s the best start. She just completely forgot to ask where Lexa had sent Octavia off too, and now she’s just hoping that by come sheer dumb luck, she’ll find the girl.

Clarke’s very careful in wandering the basement hallways. It may not be monitored like the rest of the building, but if she gets caught she’s a goner. As she's walking through the corrdiors, she just so happens to fall privy to a conversation that’s being had by a few guards who walk by.

“ _Where’s the girl now?”_

_“Taken up stairs. Quin is going into the meeting soon.”_

And Clarke can only just assume that they’re talking about Tris. She waits until the guards’ footsteps disappear until she moves, but the opposite happens. Suddenly there is grunting and screaming, there is some sort of fight going on between the guards and some other people. It doesn’t last long though and it goes quiet again after she hears bodies drop to the ground.

Clarke draws her weapon and starts to make her way towards where she heard the fighting come from. That’s when she sees a body being dragged into one of the utility rooms. With her weapon up and ready, she carefully makes her way closer. Before stepping into the room she takes a deep breath.

She steps in front of the doorway and gets the shock of her life when she sees not only Octavia there, but also Anya. “What the hell are you doing here?” Clarke asks.

The moment Anya hears her voice; she’s drawing out her weapon too. “I thought you said she was with Lexa,” Anya whispers to Octavia.

“She was!” Octavia replies.

Clarke clears her throat. “I’m going to ask again, what the hell is going on?” Her mind is just drifting off to every possible scenario there could possibly be to why Anya is here as well. But all of them seem outrageous. It could not be a coincidence that Anya is here. Anya does not set foot in Ice Nation unless it’s absolutely necessary. “Why did you knock the guards out?”

Octavia bends down to grab one of the key cards on the guard’s belt. “We needed this.” She looks between the two agents still holding the guns up at each other. “Oh will you put your weapons away, we don’t have time for this.”

Clarke continues to look at Anya, when it hits her. “You’re with Lexa…” she whispers. It makes sense and it doesn’t surprise her as much as it did when she learnt about Octavia. They were so close back then, there was no way that Lexa would have gotten anything past Anya. It also makes much more sense when Clarke continues to connect the dots between Anya and Octavia these past few months.

“Are we going to have a fight?” Anya asks. “Or can I put my weapon away?”

“I’m here to help,” Clarke replies.

Anya raises an eyebrow. “Then why are you still pointing the gun at me?”

Clarke pulls back her gun with a small sigh and holsters her weapon. “Ai laik Klark kom Heda kru–”

“Oso throu daun ogdea,” Anya finishes as she also puts her gun away.

Octavia moves to disarm both the unconscious guards. “Now that we’ve established that we’re all on the same side,” she looks up to Clarke, “For _now_. We have to get a move on.”

If Clarke thought she was in a mess before, now she’s in the eye of the storm. Everything she knows, everything she _thought_ she believed in has now officially gone to shambles and there’s no clear way out. There is so much questions that she needs answers to – mostly relating to Anya’s whole play in this. But she’ll have to push that to the side for now as she’s reminded on why they’re all here.

“GRIFFIN! MOVE YOUR ASS!” Anya yells from the doorway.

Clarke immediately shakes herself back to reality and follows Anya out of the utility room.

 

* * *

 

When it’s a quarter to 3, Lexa starts to make her way back into the Ice Nation building. In her pocket is the bugged file, which she can only hope will pass in getting Tris back. She doesn’t doubt that the file will be destroyed the moment it’s opened, she doubts the execution of the whole plan. There are too many contingencies, too many things that can go wrong. But they do not have the luxury to working their way through a well thought out plan.

Lexa makes her way back towards the reception desk, but before she makes it there, someone else is calling out her name.

“ _Miss Woods?”_

“Lexa’s fine,” she replies.

“I’m Hannah, Miss Quin’s secretary. I’m here to take you upstairs.”

Lexa nods and she starts to follow Hannah through the building. They step into an elevator that seems to be only activated by the key card the secretary is holding. And she makes a mental note to try and swipe it later (just in case). There isn’t a lot going on in Lexa’s mind at this point, everything kind of just blurs into one big mess.

The moment they step out onto the floor, Lexa is consumed by a sinking feeling. She doesn’t know what’s caused it or if it’s just everything starting to catch up – but her intuition tells her that this is about to get a whole lot messier. They reach a large set of double doors guarded by two fairly large guys.

On any other day Lexa would have no problem in taking them down, but unfortunately that’s the last thing she’s going to be doing at this point. So she surrenders her gun, takes out the USB from her pocket (and tells them that she’ll be holding on to it) and spreads out her arms so they can pat her down for any other weapons she might be hiding.

She doesn’t put up a fight, which seems to surprise both the guards. There are a few moments where they hit a particular painful wound but Lexa just continues to focus on her breathing until the doors in front of her are being opened. Lexa doesn’t know what to expect on the other side, but when she steps inside, that sinking feeling from earlier consumes her again.

And for good reason too.

In the room, there are four people on their knees, handcuffed and gagged. It takes less than a second for Lexa to register that it’s Clarke, Anya, Octavia and Tris. Without any plan or target, she lunges forward. “WHAT IS–” But her words are cut off as two guards grab a hold of her and start to pull her back.

Nia tuts as she stands up from her desk. “I thought I told you to come alone, Lexa.”

“Let them go!” Lexa yells again. She continues to struggle against the guards’ hold, but it’s no use. It really hits her how exhausted she is at this point and there’s no sign of a sudden burst of energy coming from anywhere.

Lexa’s heart breaks as she looks to Clarke, Anya, Octavia and Tris again. They all look right at her, waiting, silently hoping that she’ll be able to get them out of this. But the sad part is that Lexa doesn’t know if she can. Everything is catching up to her at this point; how out of depths she is, they have no real plan, and not to mention her physical state at the moment.

“Now...” Nia says, “Are you going to behave or do I need to have you restrained?”

Lexa nods.

Nia gestures for the guards to let her go and Lexa takes a second to compose herself. “Are you guys okay?” she asks Clarke, Anya, Octavia and Tris.

“They’re fine,” Nia answers. “Now do you have what I asked for?”

“I do.”

“Well?”

“Well I need you to let them go first,” Lexa requests.

“You know I can’t do that.”

“Then I won’t give you the file.”

Nia walks around her desk, opens the draw and pulls out a gun. She moves to stand right behind Clarke, “I’m going to ask again Lexa, do you have what I asked for?”

“Let them go.”

Nia pulls back the safety and points the gun directly at the back of Clarke’s head. “Wrong answer.”

“Nia!”

“I’m not playing around Lexa!” Nia yells. “GIVE ME WHAT I WANT.”

Lexa steps forward slightly, “I’ll give you the file and surrender myself to you if you let them go. I will come willingly; you have my word.”

Instantly Octavia mumbles incoherently through the cloth that’s been gagged around her mouth, in obvious distain at Lexa’s proposal. Nia immediately moves to stand behind Octavia, pointing the gun at her head.

“Quiet,” Nia says harshly.

Lexa doesn’t falter. She came into this mission knowing very that she might have to surrender herself. So essentially, it’s always been a part of her plan – it's just been the last resort. She didn’t tell anyone about it because she knew that they would all talk her out of it. And by the look on everyone’s eyes, she's right.

“The Ark wants me dead,” Lexa continues. “So take me and you can ask for whatever you want from them.”

“What I want, you already have,” Nia replies.

Lexa nods. “Okay, true. However, what’s a little more?”

“What if I want you to work for me?”

“Then I’ll do it.” The words leave Lexa’s lips with a god awful taste. What shocks her is that in this moment, she isn’t lying. At this moment, she’ll do anything to have Clarke, Anya, Octavia and Tris out of the building and to safety. Whether Nia believes her not is another story, but the woman definitely has a few tricks up her sleeve in making people comply.

“You’ll come willingly?” Nia asks.

“Yes.”

“And the file?”

Lexa slowly pulls the USB from her pocket. “It’s still encrypted but I will decrypt it for you once you let them go.”

Nia moves to stand behind Tris.

“What are you doing?” Lexa asks.

Nia pulls Tris to stand up. She then does the same to Octavia and Anya. “Let them go,” she tells her guards.

Lexa watches as the guard un-cuffs the three of them, allowing them to take off their gags as well. They don’t say anything though, too weary on what might happen if they do.

“Clarke too,” Lexa says.

Nia shakes her head. “Decrypt the file and then Clarke can go.”

It shouldn’t be a surprise that Lexa just keeps feeling worse and worse at this point. She knows that this is probably the best deal she’ll get, but god does she want to refuse. She looks over to Clarke and her heart breaks all over again. Lexa's the reason why they’re currently in this mess and right now, she doesn’t know what to do in order to get them all out.

But then Clarke closes her eyes and takes a few deep breaths before opening them again. Clarke nods towards her and it’s enough for Lexa to know exactly what she’s saying. Clarke is telling Lexa that it’s fine to let Octavia, Anya and Tris go first.

There isn’t anything else Lexa can do at this point. “Okay,” she whispers. “Let Octavia, Anya and Tris go and I’ll decrypt the file.”

“And you’ll surrender yourself to me.”

Lexa nods. “Yes.”

The guards start to escort Anya, Octavia and Tris out of the room. As Octavia walks past, Lexa leans in just slightly, “Get Tris to Becca,” she whispers. Lexa doesn’t give Octavia a chance to respond before she’s stepping away again. She doesn’t look any of them in the eye. She feels beyond broken at this point but it’s far from over and she needs to keep her mind clear.

Lexa waits until she hears the doors close to turn back towards Nia. “Computer?”

“The one on my desk,” Nia replies.

Lexa walks over to the desk, glancing over at Clarke along the way. She mouths “I’m sorry” which Clarke doesn’t actually respond to. But from here on out, Lexa is completely winging it because she doesn't have a plan. Once the file is opened, the file is going to basically self-destruct and they’re greatly out-numbered at this point.

Nia repoints the gun to Clarke’s head. “Don’t do anything stupid, Lexa. Or I’ll put a bullet right through her head.”

Lexa gives Clarke one final apologetic look before going to decrypt the file. It’s nothing advanced, it’s just a few lines of code to activate the bug and she’s surprised that Nia is actually letting her do this. Lexa half expected for Nia to have one of her top analysers do it considering everything but that’s definitely not the case.

It’s a couple of minutes later that she finishes. All that’s left to do is press the _enter_ key and it will be ready. Lexa looks back up to Nia, “It’s done.” She stands up from the chair and steps aside for Nia to take a seat. And as expected, within seconds of Nia opening the file the entire monitor goes black.

Lexa doesn’t have a chance to fight or say anything before she’s being hit over the head and being knocked out.

 

* * *

 

When Lexa regains consciousness, the first thought that crosses her mind is that she can’t believe that she’s still alive. Well she’s pretty sure she’s still alive. It feels like she’s just waking up from the world’s longest and worst sleep. Her entire self feels groggy and the ache in her muscles are just weighing her down to the point where she’s not even going to try and get up.

It’s cold, that’s the next thing she notices.

Then she notices that it’s dark.

The room she’s in is quite literally rocking back and forth. And that’s when she realises she isn’t in a room. She’s in some sort of cargo container and that swaying, probably means that she’s currently floating on some body of water.

That’s not the only thing though. Faint coughs come from the far end of the container and Lexa immediately tries to focus her eyes to see who it is. But it doesn’t take too long to register who the coughing belongs to.

“Clarke?” Lexa whispers.

“Lexa?”

Lexa sighs a little. “I’m here.” With everything that she has left, Lexa lifts herself off the floor and stumbles her way over to the other side. And that’s when she notices the next thing, the water that was slowly starting to leak in. But she ignores it momentarily until she can just see the faint outline of Clarke’s body. “I’m here.”

“Where’s _here_?”

Lexa takes a seat next to Clarke. “I don’t know. My best guess, we’re in a shipping container that’s currently floating on the ocean.” She gives a small kick of her foot through the water, “Which is currently filling up.”

Silence falls between the two of them and Lexa can only assume Clarke is trying to regain her bearings after waking up. But the silence is short lived as a hatch above them is opening. Lexa immediately stands up and moves to stand directly underneath it.

“Hello?” Lexa calls out.

Nia then stands over the hatch, her expression clearly annoyed. “Tell me how you got the file, Lexa,” she demands.

Lexa shakes her head. “I’m not going to do that.”

“Then you’ll die here, along with Clarke,” Nia replies. “If you didn’t already realise, this cargo container is slowly filled up with water. I say you have about four hours before you both drown.”

“So we drown.”

Nia tuts. “The only thing I want is the file, you and Clarke can still come out alive.”

“That’s hard to believe.”

“Well I have to give it to you, you are smart,” Nia laughs. “Maybe you won’t make it out alive but I can make your death quick, painless.”

“I’ll pass,” Lexa sighs.

“I’m only asking once, Lexa.” Nia pauses and looks away for a moment before looking back down, “Once this hatch closes, that’s it. You and Clarke will sink to the bottom of the ocean.”

“I’ve always loved the deep sea,” Clarke mumbles from her side of the container.

“Lexa?” Nia asks.

Lexa folds her arms across her chest. “Close the hatch.”

Nia nods. “Very well. I’d like to see how you get out of this one.”

Before Lexa can reply, the hatch is closed and it goes dark again.

 


	14. remember

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> clarke and lexa in a cargo container......

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the delayed update. wasn't happy with how it initially turned out so i needed some time to fix a few things. this chapter is all clexa (about time, right?) so i definitely wanted to make sure it was right.
> 
> anyways hope you're well. happy reading xx

The moment it goes dark again, Lexa is moving to the side of the cargo container. She needs to find a way out, and fast. As soon as her hands hit the cool metal, she’s running them as far as she can in search for _anything._ But it’s no use. It’s just bumps and scratches, little indentations that serve no use to her.

“Come on, come on,” she whispers as she continues to inspect the inside of the container. “COME ON!” Lexa starts to punching and hitting the walls, the sounds echoing throughout the entire container.

She then feels Clarke come up beside her. Clarke’s hands stop hers from hitting the walls anymore.

“Lex…” Clarke whispers. “Stop.”

Lexa closes her eyes and takes a few deep breaths. Clarke’s hands are still on hers and it’s all she can focus on right now. It’s been so long since she’s been this close to Clarke. It’s been so long since she’s felt the ease and general comfort Clarke manages to bring to a situation. It feels like coming home, even though she’s never really known where home is. And she doesn’t know if she’s even allowed to feel like this, not now, or not even ever again.

“Stop wasting the oxygen,” Clarke whispers.

There’s a playful hint in Clarke’s voice which eases Lexa slightly. Clarke always found a way to make her smile even in the toughest situations. And that’s what she generally needed, just a moment to relax so she can clear her head. “I don’t have a plan, Clarke,” Lexa sighs as she drops to the ground. She sits up against the side of the wall and just drops her head into her hands.

“Well it’s a good thing I do,” Clarke replies.

With her head still in her hands, Lexa asks, “Are you going to elaborate?”

“Did you teach Octavia tap code?”

Lexa immediately looks up and over to Clarke, “What?” But Clarke doesn’t respond just yet and Lexa just listens carefully. Clarke’s fiddling with something, but she can’t figure out what it is.

“Did you teach her tap code?” Clarke asks again.

Lexa nods. “Yes. But I don’t see how that has anything to do with this situation we’re in.”

“Because…” Clarke trails off, “That means she would have gotten my message.”

Just as Clarke finishes talking, Lexa sees a small flashing red light appear. “Your tracker…” she whispers.

Clarke hums in response. “Just before Octavia left Nia’s office I told her to track the watch.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t take it out yet.”

“Didn’t have time.” Clarke pauses. “Funny how things work out, don’t they?”

“Yeah…” Lexa replies lamely.

“But the watch isn’t waterproof so we’re going to have to hook it up to something high.” Clarke pauses again and moves to a kneeling position. “Hop on my shoulders and feel around to see if you can hook it on to anything.”

Lexa silently agrees by taking the watch and manoeuvring herself over onto Clarke’s shoulders. If it was any other day she would insist that Clarke hop onto her shoulders, but with the state that Lexa is in she can barely hold herself up let alone another person.  

“Left a bit,” Lexa instructs. It’s not long before she does manage to hook the watch onto something at the roof of the container. She doesn’t know what it is but it doesn’t really matter at this point. The watch is safe and dry and now all they can do is wait. “Alright,” Lexa whispers. “You can put me down.”

Once Lexa is off Clarke’s shoulders, she’s immediately sitting back down again. “What now?” she asks as Clarke comes to sit next to her.

“Now… we wait.”

It really is the only thing they can do at this point. Though Lexa is the only one who knows the signal code to the GPS in Clarke’s watch, she doesn’t doubt that Octavia will be able to find it. But it’s the waiting that is definitely going to get to her. Here is she is, stuck in a cargo container that slowly sinking to the bottom of the ocean with Clarke.

The water is probably only an inch high at this point, but it’s enough to annoy her. Her pants are wet and her shirt is starting to get uncomfortable. It stinks and it’s dark and if she’s being realistic, it honestly feels like the end at this point.

Clarke sits beside her, barely moving a muscle. Lexa can hear her breathing even out, which definitely helps with her own breathing. Some time passes and the silence between them continues to draw out. But it isn’t a silence that needs to be filled. It’s just silent – like the calm in the middle of the night (except for the fact that they’re basically drowning at this point.”

Eventually, Clarke is the first to speak up. “Why did you put a tracker in my dad’s watch?” she whispers.

“I had to give myself every advantage I could get,” Lexa replies. If this is it for her, she’s doesn’t want to hold anything back. Choosing to bug the watch will always be one of the toughest decisions she’s made in all of this. While it was not the intention to hurt Clarke, Lexa knew that it would when/if she found out about it.

“I thought it was weird that it was still working after all this time…” Clarke replies. “I just thought that you fixed it because you wanted to.”

“I did want to fix it,” Lexa argues.

“You just decided to add a bug into it as well.”

Lexa sighs softly and nods. “I had every intention of getting that watch back to you, _fixed._ Putting the tracker in it was not an easy choice for me… but I did it. I had to.” She pauses and rubs her eyes softly. “I can apologise over and over for hurting you Clarke. And you know that I am sorry that you’re caught in the middle of this but this is war.”

“How do I forgive you for this?” Clarke asks.

“I’m not asking for forgiveness.” Lexa takes another deep breath in. “I stepped into this knowing that I’d be going against people I care about. I just never would have imagined it’d be _this_ hard facing you all again.”

“Why?”

“Because…” Lexa breathes. “I planned this whole thing assuming that you would all hate me. I got used to the idea of _you_ hating me even before all of this started. But then the only thing you’ve done is protect me and it sent me right back to when we use to work together.”

Clarke lets out a long breath. “Exactly Lexa, I have protected you since you came back. I was defying direct orders from Jaha and if anyone found out I would not be here right now. But I still did it, because I–” She stops herself abruptly but continues on before Lexa can say anything. “It almost hurts me more that you thought that I would have put Roan’s tracker on you.”

Lexa sighs and hits her head back until it hits the wall of the container. She doesn’t miss the way Clarke had stopped abruptly but she doesn’t dwell on it. She doesn’t deserve to. “I can say that I’m sorry again but that is something I’m going to regret for the rest of my life. I should have known, but I was mad and angry and broken, Clarke. I don’t expect you to understand.”

“Oh I understand,” Clarke bites back. “I understand the being mad, angry and broken. It’s just few of the things I’ve felt since you’ve been back.”

“Clarke…”

Another silence falls between the two of them. It’s longer this time as they both take a moment to recompose themselves. There is so much more that Lexa wants to say, but she doesn’t know _how_ to say them. She wants to apologise over and over again and though she means it every single time, it kind of feels like she’s just throwing it around now.

Eventually, Lexa speaks up again. “Why did you come and help, Clarke?” she asks softly.

Clarkes sighs. “You know why, Lexa.”

Lexa closes her eyes at the response and struggles to take her next breaths. Saying that she feels bad doesn’t even skim surface of how she’s feeling. When she started all of this, she knew that it would mean bringing Clarke back into her life. But she didn’t expect it to be like _this._ She didn’t expect for her feelings for Clarke to be just as strong as they were all those years ago. She didn’t expect to be still in love with Clarke.

But the story has to remain the same.

Head over heart.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Lexa raises an eyebrow, “Tell you what?”

“Tell me that you were going to leave,” Clarke clarifies.

“Clarke…”

“I want to know, Lexa.” Clarke pauses. “Even after we broke up, I never stopped loving you. Even when you were with Costia, but I kept my distance, I tried to get over you. And I think I did for a while because I saw how good she was for you.”

“She was,” Lexa whispers. “But I wasn’t good for her.”

“Lex…”

“You can’t say that it isn’t true. Just look at the world we live in and what we do. I brought her into _this.”_

“Her death isn’t your fault,” Clarke breathes.

Lexa sits up a little straighter and tilts her neck from side to side. “I have to do this. That’s why I have to choose head over heart. Because more times than not, whenever I choose heart I end up losing someone I really care about.”

“You wouldn’t have loss me if you told me.”

Lexa shakes her head. “You don’t know that. I wasn’t going to put you in a situation where you had to choose between me and our… your people.” She pauses. “But I realise now that I’ve still put you in that position.”

“So you just thought it would be easier for me to think that you were dead?” Clarke asks.

“Truthfully,” Lexa whispers, “Yeah. That way when I showed up again you would hate me and I could just focus on the mission at hand.”

Another silence falls between them and Lexa lets out a rather long sigh. The water covers her legs at this point and she knows that the time is just ticking. But without any warning, Clarke’s hand finds hers and their fingers are intertwining together. It causes Lexa’s heart to jump and she’s glad it’s dark because a few tears do fall.

“I–” Clarke gets cut off by a soft cough before continuing. “I don’t hate you, Lexa.”

“You should.”

Clarke gives Lexa’s hand a small and reassuring squeeze. “Who would have thought we’d be going out the same way we came in?” she laughs.

“It almost sounds like you’re suggesting that this is poetic in some sort of way,” Lexa says.

“Yep,” Clarke replies. “It’s one of those soulmate stories people for will talk about for years.”

Lexa turns to Clarke and can just make out Clarke turning towards her too. “Are you saying we’re soulmates?” she asks.

“I am.” Clarke pauses.

The conviction in Clarke’s voice catches Lexa off guard again. She’s worries that she’s reading too much into Clarke’s response, but there isn’t much ways she can take it. But then again, death makes people do and say crazy things.

“Come on, don’t tell me you’ve forgotten your first day in The Ark. You and me… in a make shift cargo container….”

“I remember,” Lexa nods.

 

* * *

 

_It’s bright – unbelievably bright._

_Lexa can feel herself lying on some sort of bed, there’s probably a single sheet covering her body and she’s in some sort of restraint that’s stopping her from moving. Slowly, she opens her eyes and it’s just so bright. The room is white and it smells like a hospital. It smells too clean, too pristine, and it feels like she doesn’t belong here at all._

_When her eyes adjust to her surroundings she sees a man standing at the other end of the room. He’s tall, clean shaven, wears a pair of dark grey suit pants and a white button up shirt. He doesn’t look like he belongs here either. She doesn’t say anything though; she watches him watch her._

_Eventually the man steps forward. “Lexa Woods,” he says. “Born 1 July 1988, foster child, pretty smart from the academic records we’ve found, but also not a stranger to the system, I see.”_

_“Where am I?” Lexa huffs. The last thing she remembers is entering the back of a police car. She had a court hearing which didn’t go her way (they never do, but this time the stakes were a lot higher) and she was meant to be transferred to prison. This is definitely not prison and Lexa knows that this cannot be good._

_“I'm going to untie your restraints. Can I?” the man asks, pointing to the blanket._

_Lexa nods and waits for him to pull back the covers. He then unties the restraints and Lexa finds herself not fighting the man once she’s free. It seems like it’s a surprise for them both. Lexa sits up in the bed and her body feels like it’s about to go limp._

_“You should be feeling better soon,” he says. “I’m Jake Griffin.”_

_“Where am I?” Lexa asks again._

_“A place that wants to give you a second chance.”_

_“I’m long past second chances.”_

_Jake shakes his head. “Not with us.” He opens up the file he’s carrying, “We could use someone like you on our team.”_

_“I still don’t understand what this,” she points around the room, “Is.”_

_Jake closes the file and offers a smile. “Welcome to The Ark, Lexa Woods.”_

_Jake avoids answering any questions for the time being. He tells her to change into some other clothes and leaves the room to wait outside. It’s a plain black t-shirt and a pair of gym tights. She doesn’t know what to make of the situation, so she just does as she’s told. To be honest, she’s still feeling pretty groggy from whatever they must have given her._

_It’s not long before she’s stepping out of the room and following Jake somewhere. Lexa tries to ask questions, but he doesn’t answer. He continues on like this was a normal situation and it starts to infuriate her. But before she can say anything, they end up in a room. It’s mostly empty – with just a few other people standing around a table._

_“What is this?” Lexa asks._

_Jake turns around, “Your first test, Lexa. Good luck.”_

_Everything around her then goes black._

_Lexa just assumes she wakes up a little while later and she feels worse than before. Trying to remember anything, the first thing that comes to mind is the image of Jake saying that this was her first test. She doesn’t know what to make of it, because right now all she can think about is how shit she’s feeling._

_It takes her a couple more moments till she grabs her bearings again. But when she does she realises that she’s in a box of some sort, there’s minimal light – kind of like the dusk before sunrise. That’s probably the last thing that this place is meant to remind her of, but she doesn’t dwell on the feeling for long._

_She notices that she isn’t alone. There’s a woman crouched in the opposite corner, but the woman hasn’t moved and Lexa doesn’t know what to think. Then she remembers Jake’s words again, that this is a test. She doesn’t know what type of sick fucking test this is, and honestly she doesn’t know if she really wants to pass._

_Lexa slowly makes her way towards the woman and crouches down slowly. It’s the only thing she can think of doing. “Hey…” she whispers._

_Immediately the blonde jerks awake and Lexa is pushed back from her spot. “Hey,” she says again. “You’re okay.”_

_The blonde scurries a few feet away, making herself as small as she can in the space between them. She doesn’t look good at all, her hair is a mess, the girl is covered in dirt and her clothes are torn. For a moment Lexa loses herself in the crystal blue eyes before her. They shine through despite every other physical attribute of the woman._

_The blonde stands up slowly, and Lexa follows suit – feeling like she needs to stretch her legs anyways. What she doesn’t expect is for the blonde to suddenly to lunge forward and pull a knife out of her jacket pocket. The knife presses against her neck._

_Lexa visibly swallows the lump in her throat, feeling her skin press against the blade ever so slightly. There is no question that she could gain the upper hand in a matter of seconds. The blonde’s stance and the way she grips the knife makes her vulnerable, but Lexa doesn’t feel like she needs to push her away. For some reason, Lexa feels like she can trust the woman in front of her (it’s crazy, she knows that)._

_“You’re scared, I know,” Lexa whispers._

_The blonde shakes her head. “What I am is stuck in a… box with some stranger.”_

_“I could say the same thing.”_

_The woman presses the knife forward, “Who are you? And what am I doing here?”_

_Lexa tries to relax a little. “If I knew the answer, I would tell you.”_

_“You’re lying!”_

_“I’m not,” Lexa replies immediately. “I’m not.”_

_The blonde scoffs, “People don’t just escape jail in a blink of an eye.”_

_“You were in jail?” Lexa asks._

_The woman nods. “Just about to sleep in my cell. The next thing you know I’m waking up here – with you.”_

_Jake’s words ring through Lexa’s mind again. She’s in a test, some sick fucking test, but a test nonetheless. The woman in front of her seems like she might be in the same situation she’s in. Lexa doesn’t know how she got here, but she also was the one to also get an introductory into whatever this “Ark” is. The blonde in front of her probably didn’t get the same memo._

_“Will you put the knife down, please?” Lexa asks. The blonde shakes her head and Lexa lets out a small sigh. “I could disarm you in three seconds, you know that?”_

_“I’d like to see you–”_

_Lexa doesn’t let the woman in front of her finish her sentence. She hits the woman’s arm up and away from her throat, swiftly pushes the woman back and manages to knock the knife to the ground. But she doesn’t scramble for the knife, instead huffing and going back to sit against the wall of the box._

_“I’m not going to hurt you,” Lexa says. “I was on my way to jail when I was taken. I don’t know where I am or who took us.”_

_“I don’t believe you,” the woman replies harshly. She grabs the knife and sits against the opposite wall of the container. “Why didn’t you disarm me the moment I had my knife against your throat?”_

_Lexa shrugs. “We can keep talking or we can figure out a way out of here.”_

_There’s a long moment of silence. Lexa looks around the box she’s in. There’s nothing but a very opaque window on the roof, however it is too high for her to reach on her own. She could however reach it if the blonde was to help her._

_Lexa’s gaze falls on the woman, who’s just looking right back at her without a care in the world. There is a big shift in her overall demeanour compared to just earlier and it definitely causes an uneasy feeling within Lexa. Nothing has changed in the past couple of minutes so Lexa is unsure what to make of it._

_Without warning, the blonde stands up and gives three loud bangs against the wall of the box. The sound is loud, harsh and startles Lexa just slightly. But next thing she knows, the walls of the box falls to the side and Lexa sees a few people standing there, watching her._

_The blonde steps out of the box and walks towards the other people, “She’s good.”_

_Lexa stands up, completely confused at this point. There’s a few whispers between the blonde and a few other people. It seems like they’re arguing but she can’t be sure. Eventually, a familiar face reappears._

_“Well done, Lexa,” Jake says as he steps closer. “You passed your first test.”_

_“I did?”_

_Jake nods. He turns back to the people behind him, “Clarke!” he calls out._

_Lexa watches as the blonde comes to join them._

_“Lexa, this is recruit Griffin,” Jake explains. “First test was to see how you would react in an unfamiliar situation.”_

_“And I passed?” Lexa asks cautiously._

_Clarke nods. “I have been through this scenario a number of times and you’re the first person who didn’t fight back the moment I put the knife to your throat.”_

_“But I disarmed you.”_

_“You did,” Clarke says. “But you didn’t go for the knife, or hurt me, which was a surprise.”_

_Lexa gives her eyes a little rub. She’s still confused about the whole situation, not to mention that she still feels like shit. But she looks back to Clarke and she finds her heart beating a little faster. Now that she can see Clarke a little more clearly, Lexa thinks that Clarke is absolutely beautiful. But her thoughts are interrupted as Jake speaks up again._

_“Usually the test goes on for a little longer,” Jake explains. “But if Clarke says you’re good, then you’re good.”_

_“Good for what?” Lexa asks._

_“Good for test 2,” Jake answers. He turns on his heels and Lexa just assumes that she’s meant to follow._

_“Do I want to know what would have happened if I didn’t pass?”_

_“No, no you don’t.”_

 

* * *

“Still can’t believe that’s how orientation use to go within The Ark,” Lexa says as she shakes her head. She went through another three tests that day, each one of them worse than the other.

After all the things she’s seen and done, that first day as a recruit will always be one of Lexa’s worst memories. It may have been the day she met Clarke, but that first day could have never prepared her for what the next few years of her life would entail. “Your dad did well by changing it,” she continues.

Clarke nods but doesn’t reply. When Lexa was recruited into The Ark, Jake had just taken the position of Head of Recruits. During those first few days Lexa did talk to him, she confided in him and told him that orientation for recruits needed to be changed.

“Your dad was a good man,” Lexa whispers. She feels Clarke let go of her hand, but she doesn’t react. There’s a barely-there whimper from Clarke’s side but Lexa just gives her the space she thinks Clarke might need. The only sound that echoes through the cargo container is of the water splashing around. By now it’s just at their waits and it’s getting a little hard to sit easily. The water is also starting to really irritate her wounds but truth be told, she’s got no energy or fight left to do anything about it.

She hasn’t let herself feel like this in a long time and knows she shouldn’t, but she can’t help it. She’s the reason why they’re in this box that’s sinking to the bottom of the ocean. It’s a horrible feeling and it only makes it worse when there’s nothing she can do to help them out of this situation.

“You know…” Clarke whispers. “I keep replaying that last day I saw you and dad in my mind. Do you remember?”

Lexa nods. “Of course I do. I remember everything about that day.”

“Dad wasn’t meant to go with you.”

“No,” Lexa whispers. “I tried to stop him from going, but I couldn’t.”

“I believe you,” Clarke replies.

“I’m sorry.”

Clarke sighs. “I don’t blame you for his death, Lexa.”

“You should,” Lexa breathes.

“Well, I don’t.” Another silence draws out between them. “Lexa… tell me what happened that day, please,” Clarke whispers. “There’s The Ark’s story, and then there’s what you told my mum but I just… I need to hear from you,”

“Okay.” Lexa nods to herself and takes a few deep breaths. And she goes on to tell her version of events. She’s acted this scenario out in her head a number of times and yet she still stumbles on her words. But she really wants to make sure she tells Clarke everything about what happened that day.

Lexa starts right at the beginning of the day where everything was going to plan. But then Sterling got caught up in a mission and Jake offered to take his spot, thinking that it was going to be a simple in and out mission. Of course Lexa fought hard, but it was no use.

Clarke reassures her again that it isn’t her fault, but Lexa can’t bring herself to believe it. Not when she’s been carrying this weight around for the last four years.

She doesn’t leave any part of the story out. Telling Clarke that she made the choice to take Jake’s body into the river is the hardest part and she’s sure that it hurts more than her actual wounds. Though she can’t see Clarke, Lexa can hear her. It’s in the way Clarke’s breathing changes and in the quiet sobs that Lexa knows what the other woman is feeling.

“It took us days to find him,” Clarke says.

Lexa hums in response because it isn’t news to her. She knew about the wild breaks in the river and it’s one of the biggest reasons why that operation made for her nearly perfect escape.

“How does Anya play into all of this?” Clarke asks. “Has she been a part of this the whole time?”

“Yes,” Lexa replies.

Clarke scoffs slightly. “Oh my god.”

“Everything started right after Costia was killed. I was sick of it and I told Anya exactly that.”

“And she was sick of it too…”

“Aren’t you?” Lexa asks. But when Clarke doesn’t respond, she continues. “So for the following year, Anya and I worked on a plan to bring down The Ark.”

“All while working for The Ark still.”

Lexa nods. “There was no other way.”

“So what? You and Anya planned everything from bringing Octavia in to destroying the boxes?” Clarke asks.

“If you want to put it in simple terms, then yes,” Lexa replies. “But at the beginning Octavia wasn’t part of the plan, and if you recall there was only one black box when I escaped. There was a lot of going back and forth.”

“I can’t even begin to imagine,” Clarke whispers.

Lexa sighs. “Yeah, you can’t.” Another pause. “You have to know that you are the last person I wanted to hurt in all of this.”

“A bit late for that now, don’t you think?”

Clarke reaches over and takes Lexa’s hand within her own again, intertwining their fingers and giving a reassuring squeeze. It definitely surprises Lexa but she doesn’t say anything. She thinks that maybe Clarke finally understands what’s she’s put into this. If Lexa thought that apologising anymore would help, she would but it’s gotten to the point where the apology just sounds like empty words.

“Remember our one on one training sessions?” Clarke asks.

Lexa quirks an eyebrow because of course she remembers but she isn’t sure why Clarke is bringing it up.

“If we’re going to die in here, I want to die remembering the good in my life,” Clarke whispers. “I want to remember us before…. Before everything changed.”

Lexa lets the words settle. Instinctively, there’s a part of her that wants to argue and say that they’ll make it out of this. But she doesn’t know if she believes it herself and there’s no doubt that Clarke will see right through it. So Lexa nods. “You were always trying to beat me when we were recruits,” she smiles softly.

“What’s a little healthy competition?” Clarke laughs. “But it got annoying because you’re the kid school who gets a perfect score without needing to study.”

“Hey, I studied,” Lexa argues.

“I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, it’s a compliment.”

“Doesn’t sound like one.”

“Well, it is,” Clarke smiles.

 

* * *

 

_It takes Lexa three months to get use to things in The Ark - the clothes, the schedule, the food, the way things work. It’s nothing like she’s been through before, but she thinks that it’s better than the alternative at this point._

_She’s had back-to-back classes today and surprisingly; she’s picked up on a lot very quickly. Combat, agility and weapons handling become second nature to her. She’s just got the knack to it all which she didn’t particularly didn’t even know of._

_Lexa is the last one on the training floor gym. It’s approaching 9:30pm and this is probably her most favourite part of the day. It’s a small pocket of quietness and stillness that she gets, a moment to herself really. She doesn’t know what’s more believable, that she’s still alive or that she’s been given a second chance._

_“Ah, Lexa Woods, my arch nemesis.”_

_Lexa looks up to see Clarke approaching. “Clarke Griffin,” she replies._

_“Mind if I join you?”_

_Lexa shakes her head. Clarke’s definitely one of the people she’s gotten close to since being here. In a place like this, you need people like Clarke – people who will keep you grounded. They sit in silence for a while, simply starring into the empty room. It isn’t lit very well, and the smell of sweat still lingers slightly._

_“We aren’t enemies,” Lexa whispers._

_Clarke laughs. “Yeah we are. You’ve been here, what? Three months?” Lexa nods. “And you’re already top of the class.”_

_“Can’t help that I’m gifted,” Lexa shrugs._

_“Humble as always, Woods.”_

_Lexa smiles. This is exactly what she means, Clarke just has this ability to bring everything back for her. It’s been a long, and tiring day. Honestly, she wouldn’t be up for a conversation with anyone else but Clarke._

_“We’re friends, right?” Clarke asks._

_Lexa turns to Clarke and raises an eyebrow. “Is this a trick question?”_

_“No.”_

_“Then yes…?”_

_“Why do you sound so unsure?”_

_“It’s an odd question,” Lexa argues._

_Clarke laughs. “Okay, we’re going off track… I have some good news for you.”_

_“You do?”_

_Clarke nods. “Word is that Anya is going to be choosing you as her second.”_

_“What? Me? Seriously?”_

_“Yeah,” Clarke confirms. “I heard my parents talking about it.”_

_“Wow…” Lexa whispers. She looks back into the empty room and lets out a couple of deep breaths. This is big news. Anya is one of the best agents in The Ark and someone Lexa looks up to quiet fondly. Anya is one of her teachers, so they’ve had a handful of conversation but never would she have thought she was good enough to be Anya’s second._

_“I think they might be telling you tomorrow,” Clarke says._

_“Well this puts a target on my back, doesn’t it?” Choosing seconds are a big deal here. There are other recruits here that will definitely be pissed if she is chosen as a second before them. But if she is chosen she isn’t going to question Anya’s choices._

_“Definitely,” Clarke admits._

_“Should I be worried about you?” Lexa asks playfully._

_Clarke laughs but she shakes her head. “If there’s one thing I know, it’s never to question Anya. So if she’s chosen you, then she obviously sees something in you.” She pauses. “And as your friend, I’m happy for you.”_

_“Really?”_

_Clarke nods. “Yeah. I mean I hate you for your natural abilities, but you’re going to make a pretty good agent one day, Lexa. I would trust you out in the field.”_

_Lexa turns to Clarke, who’s looking right at her. “I’d trust you to,” she replies. Involuntarily, her gaze flicks down to Clarke’s lips and she’s immediately cursing herself. However, her heart skips a little faster when she sees Clarke doing the exact same. She’s not going to lie; it has been a thought that’s crossed her minds a few times but she knows that it’s not something she can pursue. Even if Clarke felt the same, this is not a life where she sees dating or relationships to be something that could ever work._

_“Lexa…” Clarke whispers._

_Immediately, Lexa breaks out of the moment and shakes her head. “I should go.”_

_“Lexa–”_

_Lexa immediately stands up and offers a small smile. “Good night, Clarke.”_

 

* * *

 

“And then we ended up having a dual graduation ceremony,” Lexa whispers.

“Yeah, that was…. Some mission.”

Lexa nods in response because there isn’t anything else she can really say. She and Clarke were promoted to field agent through the same graduation mission. It was a very high stakes mission and it took weeks of preparation, but they worked through it and came out on the other end as field agents.

It was the first kill for either of them and at least from Lexa’s side of things, it was one of the worst. It was the kill that would see her becoming one of the best agents in the organisation. It was the kill that changed her completely. It was a kill that would be talked about for the years to come. It was the kill that would define her for the rest of her “Ark career”.

With the way The Ark trained their agents, Lexa thought she was doing the right thing (they all did) (and some of them still do).

That kill changed her completely, but Lexa found a grounding point in Clarke. They found a grounding point within each other. It wasn’t long after their graduation that they let themselves feel the things they had for each other. It was the secret relationship that helped them both remember Clarke’s wise words of, “ _Maybe life should be about more than just surviving_.”

But in the end, the battle of head over heart had to come to an end.

“Would it be weird to ask what your favourite mission was?” Clarke asks.

Lexa nods. “Yes.”

“Come on, humour me.”

Lexa thinks about it for a minute, because it was a weird thought. In summary, a lot of their missions had the ultimate goal of bringing down one evil to elevate another. Obviously, in her early days as an agent really didn’t know what was right from wrong. The one thing she was sure of was that she didn’t want to be floated.

“Hummingbird,” Lexa eventually whispers.

“Really?”

Lexa nods. “Really.”

“But all we did on that mission was stake out a warehouse that in the end, proved to be useless.”

Lexa nods again. “Exactly. It was probably the one mission where we didn’t kill or harm anyone, didn’t steal anything to ruin someone’s life. It was the easiest mission I can remember, that’s why it was my favourite.”

Clarke turns towards her and Lexa can almost hear the smirk coming from the woman. “Is that only reason why it was your favourite mission?” Clarke asks.

“Yep,” Lexa teases. But they both know that it isn’t true.

 

* * *

 

_Operation Hummingbird has been a complete failure._

_It’s been a bust from the beginning but when Jaha tells the team to go ahead with the plan, they don’t have much of a choice other than to listen._

_That’s why Lexa is here, standing in a hotel lobby as she waits for Clarke to get the room keys. Bellamy and Atom stand beside her, both of them calling into The Ark and running the few post mission protocols they can at this point. It's too late to start driving back to base, so they're given the all clear to spend the night in a hotel and come back first thing in the morning._

_The only thought on Lexa’s mind is the mission. Yeah, it may have been doomed from the beginning but it doesn’t stop her from thinking about how things could have been different. The best way to learn is to learn from the mistakes that were made, and Lexa’s just trying to figure out where they went wrong._

_Clarke eventually comes back to them, handing over a room key to Bellamy. “Let’s be ready to go by 8.”_

_Bellamy nods. “Sounds good. Atom and I are going to grab a drink. You ladies in?”_

_“No thanks,” Lexa whispers immediately. “The only thing I want now is a shower and a bed.”_

_Clarke nods in agreement. “Me too. We’ll see you guys in the morning.”_

_A little while later, Lexa is once again thinking about the mission. She sits up with her back against the headboard and her legs under the covers. In her mind, she’s replaying the interviews and leads they were given, she’s connecting and reconnecting the dots as she tries to find ANY alternative to how they could have executed this plan._

_“I can hear you thinking from here, Lex.”_

_Lexa snaps out of her haze and turns towards Clarke. She can’t help but smile as she watches Clarke emerge from the bathroom in a pair of black shorts and loose fitting white top. Her blonde curls cascade over her shoulders and those blue eyes just continue to sparkle the way they always do. She tries not to stare, but when Clarke looks_ this _good so effortlessly, it’s hard not to._

_Her relationship with Clarke at this point is still undefined. They’ve both only been field agents for a month at this point – so all eyes were on them to see how they were performing. But that didn’t stop them from stealing little moments from each other from time to time. They knew they had to be careful, but after a year of pining over each other sometimes all they wanted to do was make up for lost time._

_“Sorry,” Lexa whispers._

_“Don’t be,” Clarke assures. “Do you want to talk about it?”_

_Lexa watches as Clarke then comes to sit on the bed, her legs crossed as she starts to brush her hair._

_“Just thinking about the mission,” Lexa replies. “Wondering if there was anything we could do differently.”_

_Clarke continues to run the brush through her hair. “There wasn’t. This mission was going to fail from the beginning. Even Anya said so herself. Don’t know why Jaha insisted we go through with it though. It was just a big waste of resources.”_

_Lexa nods. “We’re meant to be good at problem solving though. We should be able to figure out where we went wrong.”_

_“Maybe,” Clarke replies as she puts the hairbrush onto the bedside table._

_“Maybe if we had interviewed Steven before–” Lexa’s words come to a sudden stop as she feels Clarke straddle her lap. Immediately, she gulps._

_Clarke cups either side of Lexa’s face and gives a small sigh. “I’m not saying you’re wrong. We are meant to be good at problem solving. However, our problems will still be there tomorrow. The best way to move forward is with clear minds. So clear your mind Lexa.”_

_“That’s easier said than done,” Lexa whispers back._

_Clarke comes in a little closer, her nose brushing just over Lexa’s. “I can help you clear your mind.”_

_At this point, Lexa’s heart is beating beyond her control. She’s usually able to keep her emotions in check, but whenever Clarke is involved she’s loses that sense of control. Lexa brings her hands to caress Clarke’s bare thighs._

_“Let me help clear your mind,” Clarke whispers again._

_Clarke’s breath is hot against Lexa’s lips. Kissing Clarke isn’t anything new, but it always felt new. But if tonight is going down the path she thinks it’s about to go, her heart just sings louder. She’s not going to lie, Lexa has dreamt about this moment and now that it’s finally happening, she can’t help but feel like it’s still a dream._

_Instead of replying, Lexa closes the distance between them. Their kissing is slow at first. Again, kissing isn’t anything new between the two of them and they knew exactly what the other liked. But it doesn’t stop them from trying to savour every single second of the moment._

_Clarke is the first to run her tongue along Lexa’s bottom lip. She does it again and moans as Lexa’s tongue then glides against her own._

_“Clarke,” Lexa breathes between their kisses._

_Clarke pulls back just a breath away. “Lexa…” she whispers, “I want you.”_

_“Are you sure?”_

_Clarke nods before closing the distance between them again. Both women moan softly. Clarke’s hands remain at either side of Lexa’s neck, keeping her close. Whereas Lexa’s hands roam the small of Clarke’s back._

_Clarke pulls back again, this time a little further than before. And Lexa definitely loses her breath for a second as she watches Clarke’s eyes flutter open with a grin appearing on her face._

_“But we don’t have to do anything,” Clarke whispers. “I’m okay if you just want to sleep.”_

_Lexa shakes her head softly. “Help me clear my mind,” she whispers as she moves to lay flat on her back._

_Clarke doesn’t say anything in response, but leans down so that they’re kissing again. Lexa finds herself falling into this trance where she manages to forget everything for the time being. Her hands move to the inside of Clarke’s shirt, roaming the soft and delicate skin underneath._

_Moments later Clarke is sitting up again and without a word, she’s pulling her shirt up and over her head._ Perfect,  _That’s all Lexa could think at this moment. She moves to sit up as well, wrapping her arms around Clarke’s back and kissing the top of Clarke’s breast. Lexa gives one broad swipe of Clarke’s left nipple before latching on. With her right hand, she palms Clarke’s other breast._

 _Clarke throws her head back and tangles her fingers through Lexa’s hair. “Babe,” she moans, “I’m meant to be helping_ you _clear your mind.”_

_“Trust me, this is clearing my mind,” Lexa smirks as she moves her mouth to the other breast. Clarke continues to moan and whimper and grind down on her and Lexa starts to feel her own arousal between her legs._

_“You’re wearing too much clothes,” Clarke says as she toys with the hem of Lexa’s shirt. She waits until Lexa pulls back from her chest and nods before Clarke pulls up shirt up and over. Immediately Clarke pushes Lexa back on the bed and falls forward, crashing their lips together. There’s nothing slow about what they’re doing now._

_Clarke begins to rock into Lexa and the room fills with the sweetest of moans between the women. She trails her kisses her kisses down towards Lexa’s breast, running her tongue to outline each side swiping her tongue over the erect nipple._

_“Clarke,” Lexa pants._

_Clarke simply hums in response as she keeps the nipple in her mouth, sucking and occasionally swiping her tongue over it again. She moves to the other side and does the same thing, making sure to give it the same attention. She eventually kisses further down, carefully pressing her lips on various parts of Lexa’s body. There are a few scars and a few bruises and Clarke kisses every one of them._

_Clarke eventually hooks her fingers around the waistband of Lexa’s shorts, looking up and silently asking for permission. After Lexa nods and lifts her hips off the bed slightly, Clarke pulls Lexa’s pants down and throws them to the side before getting up and taking off her own shorts and underwear._

_All Lexa can do is watch and bite her bottom lip. With every second that passes, her heartbeat picks up and she feels an absolute need wash over her. An absolute need for Clarke to be exact. Before Clarke tops her again, Lexa sits up and pulls down her own underwear._

_They fall back onto the mattress with their legs intertwined, stomachs pressed against each other and chest to chest as they continue with the frenzied kisses. Clarke rocks forward and Lexa can't help but buck her hips up as well. T_ _heir kisses turn messy as they try to set a steady rhythm._

_“Fuck Clarke–” Lexa moans._

_Clarke moves to rest their foreheads together, rocking her hips forward in time with Lexa’s hips bucking up. “Oh god, Lex,” Clarke pants._

_A couple of moments later, Clarke kisses her way down Lexa’s body again. Lexa’s eyes flutters shut and all her sense seem to heighten._

_Clarke kisses the inside of Lexa’s thigh a couple of times before giving a broad swipe of her tongue through Lexa’s folds. Immediately Lexa’s hip bucks, but Clarke places her hands on Lexa’s hips to keep her down. Clarke continues to trace mindless patterns over her clit, and Lexa relishes in the moment._

_Clarke licks down towards Lexa’s entrance and dips her tongue in, stroking the inner walls. Lexa isn’t particularly loud, but Clarke is making her whimper and moan with the utmost pleasure._

_"Clarke, oh, Clarke,” Lexa pants. “Please, I’m–”_

_Clarke returns to sucking at Lexa’s clit. Lexa is close, her breathing becomes a little more rapid and her hands tangle through Clarke’s hair._

_“Come for me,” Clarke whispers before licking up Lexa’s length again._

_And with that, Lexa does. She arches her back off the bed and comes with Clarke’s name on her lips. But the woman between her legs doesn’t let up, instead coaxing her down from her high._

_Eventually Clarke slows down, but continues to lap through Lexa’s arousal. It isn’t until Lexa relaxes back into the mattress completely that Clarke kisses her way back up. They share a slow, passionate kiss before taking a moment to catch their breaths._

_Lexa flips them over so that she’s now on top. She kisses Clarke quickly, “You’re turn,” she whispers._

 

* * *

“Can I ask you something?” Clarke whispers in the darkness.  By now they’re both standing up and the water is up to their chest. There isn’t anything they can do at this point other than just hope that Octavia has managed to track the location of the watch.

When Lexa doesn’t reply, Clarke immediately worries and scrambles forward to the general area where she thinks Lexa is. “Lex?” she calls out again. Moments later she bumps into Lexa, who feels as if she’s just been woken up. “Hey, come on, stay with me.”

Lexa clears her throat slightly. “I’m tired.”

At the sound of Lexa’s voice, Clarke’s heart almost shatters. Lexa isn’t one to give up, but the tone and quietness of her voice tells another story. “I know,” Clarke replies. “But you need to stay awake okay? Octavia’s coming.”

Without a second thought, Clarke takes Lexa’s arm and puts it around her shoulder to offer some support. It’s killing her, not being able to do anymore. She knows that Lexa’s wounds are only getting worse at this point and can’t even begin to imagine the type of pain she’s going through right now.

“Do you really think she’s coming?” Lexa asks.

Clarke adjusts themselves so it’s a little more comfortable. She holds onto Lexa’s hand and tries to support as much of the woman’s weight as she can. “Yeah,” Clarke answers. “You trained her well.”

“She was a good student.”

Clarke hums in response. “And you’re a good teacher.” She pauses. “Tell me how you found Octavia, Lexa. How did you choose her?” While she’s definitely interested in knowing the full story, Clarke is more interested in keeping Lexa alert and awake. She can feel Lexa struggling to keep herself up and at this point, she just needs to distract the woman from the physical pain she’s going through.

“I took a big gamble with finding Octavia.” Lexa coughs. “Whoever was going to come into The Ark had to have their own reasons.”

“Bellamy,” Clarke whispers.

Lexa nods softly. “So I found her and told her about Bellamy, told her about The Ark.”

“Did she believe you right away?”

Lexa chuckles and coughs a few more times. “God no. That can’t come as a surprise to you though. A secret organisation of trained assassins? It sounds like a plot to a good movie.”

“Right,” Clarke laughs.

“It took some time, but eventually she believed me.”

“And then you trained her…” Clarke says, prompting Lexa to continue telling the story.

“I did,” Lexa nods. “Almost every day for four years. We picked up on Ark chatter a few times and staked out a few missions.”

“Really?”

Lexa hums in response. “None that you were a part of or Bellamy. Just low-level missions that would help Octavia get a grasp on how things were done.”

The water in the cargo container is now forcing them to tread water and Clarke knows that they’ll get tired very quickly very soon. So she pulls them closer to the wall of the container, running her free hand along the walls to see if there’s anything she can hold on to. There’s nothing.

Clarke continues to pull them along the wall of the container. “She broke your record; you know? Graduating within two months of entering The Ark.”

Lexa scoffs playfully. “She could have run circles around Ark agents the day she entered considering that she had four years of training.”

“I don’t doubt that,” Clarke replies. They reach the corner of the container and it just so happens that there’s a big enough indent that she can use to hold herself up. “You okay to keep holding on?” Clarke asks.

Lexa nods.

“You got to promise to stay with me, okay?” Clarke whispers. She can’t bring herself to say that she can’t bear the thought of losing Lexa again, especially not like this. But she can only hope that Lexa gets her silent message.

“That…” Lexa trails off as she coughs a few times. “That night of Octavia’s graduation, she didn’t kill Amy. I did.”

Clarke’s eyes widen in response. Of course when she figured out that Octavia was working with Lexa, the graduation mission crossed her mind. But not once did she think about whether or not it was Octavia to really take the shot or not.

“Octavia’s never taken a life,” Lexa reveals. “She was never meant to graduate.”

“Because you guys only planned for the one box,” Clarke whispers.

Lexa nods. “Didn’t plan for six boxes, or the new trackers, or Lincoln or Luna. Never imagined that I would be taking a deal with Nia during all of this as well.”

“You did it to save Tris.”

“I’ve tried so hard to keep her out of this.”

“I know,” Clarke whispers.

“And I just keep losing,” Lexa continues. “I choose my head, I lose. I choose my heart and I still lose.”

“I wouldn’t call what you’ve done, losing.”

“Look where we are,” Lexa argues.

Clarke sighs briefly. Ignoring their current situation, she would not say that Lexa was losing. In fact, The Ark was. In just two months Lexa’s managed to rattle the organisation down to the core. She’s infiltrated The Ark with Octavia, turned two Reapers, destroyed a few boxes and is yet to be stopped. But she doesn’t say anything more, knowing very well that Lexa’s probably got a lot on her mind right now.

“How did you get caught?” Lexa asks.

“What do you mean?”

Lexa takes a few deep breaths. “At Ice Nation,” she clarifies, “What happened after you left to find Octavia.”

“Ah well, I went to the basement first. It’s the place that’s probably not as heavily guarded as the rest of the building,” Clarke says. “I head Anya and Octavia take out a few guards.”

“That’s how you found out about Anya…” Lexa whispers.

Clarke nods. “I was obviously very confused at first but it didn’t take long to connect the dots. We shared the riddle and they said that they had a plan.” She pauses to readjust their positions. “You okay?” she asks.

“Yeah,” Lexa replies. “Are you?”

Clarke nods. She isn’t going to say that it feels like her arms are going to fall off, because what she’s going through right now can’t possibly even begin to compare what Lexa is going through. “So yeah, we started to make our way through the lower levels. Over the guards’ radio there was some chatter about Tris being taken up to the main office. But we ran into a few more guards and was out-numbered.”

“I’m sorry,” Lexa whispers.

Clarke shakes her head. “Don’t be.”

“I have to be.” Lexa pauses. “We’re going to die in this container.”

Clarke shakes her head again. “We’re not dying here.” She pulls Lexa in closer, “Octavia will find us. She will.” Silence falls between them as Clarke just pulls Lexa in closer. She continues to mutter quiet reassurances in an attempt to hold onto some hope. Honestly, she doesn’t know if it’s just a waste of breath at this point but she needs this too.

“You always hated when I talked about death,” Lexa whispers.

“I still do.” Clarke leans her head against Lexa’s and hums softly. “We’re not dying in here.”

“What’s tying you to The Ark?” Lexa coughs again. “Tell me if I’m crazy but I can see it in your eyes. You know that this needs to stop.”

Clarke spends the next moments pondering, because in all honesty she doesn’t know what her response would be. At the beginning she would have said her parents. Her dad and mum were some of the first people to work for The Ark when it first began. But of course, when the organisation first started it was a lot different.

The Ark started as a program to give “troubled” young teens/adults a second chance. Not in the way The Ark “helps” them now but in a way that they could re-join society in a productive way. But things derailed quickly when higher ups realised the type of power they had and what they could do. The Ark was exploited for all the wrong reasons.

Her parents chose to stay within the organisation, feeling a sense of responsibility to take care of those within The Ark. Her dad was a field agent and eventually took on the role of Head of Recruits (which she then took on after he passed). And her mum was head doctor at the time. But when her dad was killed, Jaha gave her mum the option to leave. It’s a rare occurrence when Jaha gives someone the choice to leave, so her mum took it without a second thought. Clarke was also given the option, but she decided to stay.

Clarke’s story on how she joined The Ark isn’t too far off from many of the other Ark recruits/agents. She was convinced by Jaha to join the organisation but her only other option was jail with how she lived her life back then. She was young and reckless with no real sense of direction. She got into trouble more times than she could count. And well, being young and impressionable, it didn’t take a lot for her to be shaking hands with Jaha and officially becoming part of the organisation.

Of course her parents were against it but Clarke was determined to show them that she could do this. At the time she didn’t know what The Ark really was, and now she knows that they were just trying to protect her. But overtime she grew attached to the people she saw day in and day out. The Ark gave her a sense of purpose and direction – it gave her an extended family.

That’s why she’s still tied to The Ark. For _her_ people.

When she took the job of Head of Recruits after her dad passed, she felt a responsibility to make sure her people were trained to the best of their abilities (and she still does). Something struck within her when she lost her dad and when she thought she lost Lexa. She vowed to make sure she did everything she can so that her people would survive out on the field.

Of course they’ve lost people since then, but Clarke knows she did everything she could. That’s why she’s still tied to The Ark. She’s no idiot. She knows that The Ark are not the good guys (that _she’s_ not the good guy) but she doesn’t think she can go against _her_ people. Lexa argues that it would be fighting _for_ her people but it’s hard to see it that way.

“I don’t know how you do it,” Clarke replies.

“You have to separate head over heart, Clarke.” Lexa pauses. “You have to forget that the people who once would have jumped in front of a bullet for you are the ones now shooting at you. You push aside the feelings of guilt; you suppress the fact that it feels like you’re betraying your friends. You don’t sleep because if you do, you see everyone’s faces… You remember _everything_. You do all that and think about the bigger picture.”

Clarke closes her eyes and she’s faced with an immense amount of possibilities.

To stay or to leave.

To fight _with_ her people or _for_ her people.

She snaps out of her dream state as her fingers slip for the wall of the container. She can now reach the roof of the container (which definitely isn’t a good sign), which allows her to hold onto the railing of the roof. Quickly she pulls Lexa in closer, “You okay?”

Lexa nods and slowly pushes herself away from Clarke’s body and reaches to grab the railing also. “You’ve got to be exhausted holding me up.”

“Lex, come back here. Let me help you, I can’t imagine that you’ve got the strength to hold yourself up.”

“I’m fine.”

“You’re not,” Clarke replies. She mindlessly sways her arm around until she feels Lexa’s shoulder. “Please let me help.”

“I’m fine,” Lexa repeats. But this time she she’s coughing again, almost wheezing as she lets out an-almost silent groan in frustration.

“Then…” Clarke trails off and brings one of Lexa’s arm to loop around her shoulder. Surprisingly Lexa doesn’t fight it and Clarke continues to provide extra support. “Then just stay close to me?” she asks. “I need you close.”

“Okay,” Lexa whispers.

Their legs occasionally knock against each other as they tread water, and Clarke swims a little closer. She doesn’t say anything though, simply moving so that their bodies are pressed against each other. As one hand hangs onto the railing and the other sways through the water, she nuzzles herself into the crook of Lexa’s neck as best she can.

This is the closest she’ll get to hugging Lexa at this point but she’ll take it. She feels Lexa pulls her in slightly closer which causes Clarke to let out a few deep sighs. Even though they’re sinking to the bottom of the ocean, being here with Lexa makes it seem less scary. It’s outrageous, yes, but Lexa’s always managed to bring this calming presence to any situation.

Eventually they break away from the hug but they don’t stray too far. Instead, both of them find themselves leaning in. It may be dark, but the way both their breaths even out as they rest their foreheads together tells them both that they’ve got each other in what could potentially be their last moments.

They lean in just a little closer, brushing their noses over each other, breathing in and out at the same time. But neither of them dare to close distance. It’s like there’s an unspoken agreement or something, like _this_ , what they’re doing at the moment is enough.

“If this is really it,” Clarke breathes, “I just want you to know that I don’t hate you.”

“Clarke I–”

But Lexa’s words are cut off when there’s a banging coming from the outside of the container. Immediately Clarke pulls back just slightly and bangs against the wall in response. The banging from the other side happens again, and continues to happen across the container and towards the hatch.

“Octavia,” Lexa breathes.

Clarke nods. “I hope so.”

The move themselves close towards the hatch.

“Once it opens this container will fill within seconds,” Clarke says.

“How long can you hold your breath?”

Clarke takes a deep breath. “Long enough… I hope.”

“Me too.”

So they wait, treading water with a new found burst of energy to make it out of this. They listen as the noise from the other side of the container continues. It isn’t long before they hear another three loud knocks and they can only assume that the hatch is about to be opened.

But just as Clarke is about to reach for Lexa’s hand, she feels Lexa swim away. “Lexa what are you doing?” But Lexa doesn’t respond and all Clarke can do is listen to the splashing of water that the other woman is causing.

Just as Lexa is returning, the hatch screeches open and the water starts filling the rest of the container at an alarming rate. Clarke takes a deep breath and is then completely submerged under the water. From the hatch, there’s two light sources shining though so she swims towards it, feeling Lexa right on her tail.

It’s Octavia and Anya.

Octavia hands Clarke what she can only guess to be some sort of oxygen mask. Before taking it though, she turns to check on Lexa, who Anya is looking after. She puts the mask on follows Octavia up and towards the surface. It’s taking everything in her not to look back to Lexa, but she knows Anya will have it covered. 

Clarke reaches the surface just after Octavia. She rips off her mask and takes breathes in the fresh air.

“You okay?” Octavia asks, swimming closer to her.

Clarke nods and then hears Anya and Lexa emerge from the water as well. Anya is supporting Lexa as they swim closers. It’s just a few moments later that Clarke hears the buzzing of a small boat approach them.

“ _You guys okay?”_

“Raven,” Clarke breathes.

They swim closer to the edge of the boat and Raven helps them up; Lexa first, then Clarke and Octavia and Anya pull themselves over. Clarke slumps down to the floor and leans against the side, trying to catch her breath.

She lets Raven wrap her in some blankets, but they only thing she can focus on is Lexa. Anya is also wrapping a few blankets around Lexa, but the two of them hold each other’s gaze. She doesn’t know what’s being silently said between the two of them, but the one thing she knows is that they’re alive and that’s definitely some good news.


	15. head vs. heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> clarke and lexa almost died, raven's been pulled into this, more questions are asked, a few revelations are made and things just get messier (though that shouldn't be a surprise at this point)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if i haven't told you recently, thanks for reading and sticking around. it's much appreciated :')
> 
> happy reading xx

The ride back to shore is rocky, long, _silent._ It’s the middle of the night and no one is talking, and it is agonising. Clarke doesn’t take her eyes off Lexa, who sits and huddles next to Anya. The two of them remain quiet, and Anya’s arm is wrapped around Lexa’s shoulder in some attempt to keep her a little warmer. Lexa’s eyes are closed and it looks like she’s getting the rest she needs and deserves.

By the time they reach the shore, they’re walking into some parking lot and it’s not long before they’re stopping at a black van. Clarke tries to open the it, but the doors remain locked. She turns and looks to Raven, but before she can say anything, Raven is shaking her head. 

She looks between everyone in the group, “You all are going to tell me what the hell is going on. No more lies.”

“Raven…” Clarke whispers. She looks over to Lexa, who is barely standing up at this point. She doesn’t know what Raven knows, but all she wants to do is get Lexa to safety. Or at least somewhere far away from here.

Lexa lifts a hand up and coughs, “It’s okay, Clarke.” She walks over to the van and leans against it, standing so that she’s directly facing Raven. “I’ll tell you whatever you want. But first, is Tris okay?”

Anya nods. “We took her to Becca.”

“Okay... that’s good.” Lexa looks back over to Raven, “Ask away.”

“Octavia,” Raven says.

Clarke watches as Lexa doesn’t seem to need any more of explanation. She goes on to explain everything to Raven, right from finding Octavia, training her and having her infiltrate The Ark. Octavia has since moved to stand beside Lexa, adding the occasional comment to the story as well.

Obviously by the end of it Raven looks mad and Clarke knows exactly how she’s feeling considering she was told the same story just the night before. But she keeps quiet for now, because this is a conversation for Raven to ask whatever she needs to ask.

But if Clarke thinks that Raven is mad now, it jumps a few levels when she learns that Anya's been a part of it too. Maybe mad isn’t the right word, but there is definitely a lot of _something_ in the air between them and rightfully so.

To put it simply, Raven and Anya have been in a relationship for as long as she can remember. But not lot of people know because of the world they lived in. And with Anya’s position as Head of Alpha Team, she took her position very seriously. Even after knowing that Anya’s been working for the other side this whole time, Clarke can still say that Anya did her job and she did it well. When it came to their relationship, both Anya and Raven were able to separate head over heart completely, that’s what made them work.

But as Clarke listens to Anya tell her side of the story she knows that separating head over heart is not possible in this situation, at least not yet. Raven is learning all this at once and it’s a lot to process. Clarke herself is still trying to process it all.

“You all need to get out of my face,” Raven says.

“Raven…” Anya whispers. She tries to reach forward, but Raven takes a dramatic step back. Anya doesn’t follow but whispers again, "Raven…”

“No." Raven pauses. "Leave now.”

Lexa nods and lifts herself off the van. She pulls at Anya’s arm and nudges her forward, “Let’s go Anya.” She looks back, “Come on, Octavia.”

“Raven,” Clarke pleads. “We can’t just leave them here.”

Raven shakes her head. “I’m sure they’re more than capable of finding their way back.”

Clarke looks over to Lexa and she finds herself wanting to apologise – but she sees Lexa shake her head with a soft smile. She doesn’t say it out loud but she apologises anyways, and by the small nod Lexa returns she knows her message gets across.

Lexa looks back over to Raven, “We will go. I just want to say thank you for saving me.”

Raven doesn’t say anything in response, keeping her stare away from the three other women.

“Thank you too, Clarke,” Lexa whispers.

Clarke doesn’t say anything either, mainly because she doesn’t know what she can say in that moment. Her mind is running with a million things, a million choices and she just needs the world to stop for a moment.

Moments later, Lexa, Octavia and Anya are walking away. Clarke doesn’t know where to, but she's got a good feeling that they’ll be able to find their way to safety as well. When they’re out of sight she hops into the van with Raven and it is agonisingly silent again.

Raven turns the ignition but before she starts to drive she pauses. “Tell me you haven’t been working with Lexa this whole time.”

“I haven’t,” Clarke replies. She pauses and takes a few deep breaths. It’s the truth but there’s a few things that Raven doesn’t know yet. “I only just figured out that Octavia and Anya were with Lexa yesterday.”

“After Lexa escaped?” Raven asks.

Clarke nods. “Lexa said something when I was with her that Octavia said back at her first day in The Ark. I went to her apartment last night and everything kind of just happened from there.”

“Why didn’t you call it in?”

“Do you really have to ask that?” Clarke asks.

Raven sighs. “No, I guess not.”

“So I told Octavia to stay away,” Clarke recounts. “But she came in with Anya and she told me that Lexa was in trouble.”

Raven brings her hands to her face, “God, what the fuck are we supposed to do?” She pauses and gives her face a harsh rub. “Do you think we’re on the wrong side of this?”

The question takes Clarke by surprise because she wouldn’t have thought Raven would be asking this, at least not right after finding everything out. But it is a question Clarke’s been replaying in her mind ever since Lexa came back. It’s hard not to when she starts to question everything about this life she’s invested everything in to.

But the answer remains the same.

“These are our people,” Clarke says. “We have to fight _with_ them.”

“Lexa was once our people too.” And with that Raven starts to drive. They drive out of the parking lot and Clarke tries to see if she can spot Lexa, Octavia or Anya – but no luck. She doesn’t know what’s going to happen from here and that scares her. She has no plan, no strategy to move forward. She doesn’t even know where Raven currently stands in all of this.

“I had the chance to bring her in a couple of time,” Clarke reveals.

But Raven doesn’t seem to be phased by it. “And you couldn’t…”

Clarke hums in response. “It should be easy.”

“Do you still love her?” Raven asks.

Clarke flinches at the question. By logic she should be able to say ‘no’ because of everything they’ve been through. But she replays a moment they shared in the cargo container, where she almost let it slip. Thankfully, she stopped herself in time.

“You don’t have to answer that,” Raven continues. “But you don’t disagree with things Lexa’s doing, do you?”

“No,” Clarke answers quietly.

“This is such a mess.”

“Tell me about it.”

The rest of the drive is quiet and Clarke lets herself think about nothing during this time. It’s a little hard at first, but eventually her mind is just blank. This is probably the closest she’ll get to the world stopping, so she takes in every moment. To think, there was a time where she wasn’t a part of this life. If she didn’t shake Jaha’s hand that one fateful day, her entire story would be different.

Eventually, they pull up into Raven’s apartment. “Come on,” Raven says. “You’re spending the night with me.”

Clarke is thankful for Raven, but she shakes her head. “I need some alone time, Raven.”

“Clarke, you almost died tonight…”

“I know…” Clarke says.

Raven sighs. “I don’t like this.”

“I know.”

“But okay,” Raven replies. “What are you going to do?”

Clarke shrugs. “Just drive for a bit, clear my mind some more.”

“Be safe.”

“I will. I promise.”

Raven unbuckles her seat belt and opens the door to step out. “Text me later? Like when you get back to your apartment or something. Just let me know that you’re okay.”

Clarke smiles. “I will.”

“You know where to find me if you need me.”

“I do.” She pauses and jumps over to the driver’s seat. Stepping out of the van, she pulls Raven in for a hug. “Thank you.”

Raven hugs her back. They stand there for a while, and eventually they say their goodbyes. Clarke drives off but with no destination in mind. She just needs to drive; she needs to figure out where the hell she’s going to go from here.

 

* * *

 

Lexa arrives with Anya and Octavia back at the safe house. There’s a part of her that feels like this is it. Yeah she's alive, but she is beat and broken and she does not know how the hell she’s going to keep moving forward. Everything now has gone to shit and she’s in way over her head. Even with the help of her friends, Lexa feels the weight of this whole situation on her shoulders. Everyone is counting on her and while that isn’t anything new, it doesn’t get easier to process.

She feels like she’s failed everyone. Octavia now has Ark agents right on her tail. Anya’s had to show herself as an ally. Tris has been dragged into her mess. She’s now dragged Raven into this. And then there’s Clarke, who Lexa thinks she’s failed right from the moment she faked her death.

The first person she sees when she enters the house is Tris. It’s taking everything in her to not and go hug the young woman, but this is the first time in almost a decade that she’s been in the same room as her foster sister. From what Lexa can tell, Tris looks (physically) fine but she knows that this experience will most likely haunt her a while, if not for forever.

Tris steps towards her, “Lexa?”

Lexa pushes past the pain she’s in and nods. “You remember who I am?”

“Of course,” Tris nods. There’s a small smile between the two and the silence carries on for a few more seconds.

“I’ve arranged for Tris to visit her family in Australia for a couple of weeks,” Becca says. “We should leave for the airport soon.”

Lexa nods and turns back to Tris. “Do you think we can talk for a moment?” When Tris nods, Lexa guides them out of the room and up towards the roof. Once she steps outside, she takes a deep breath in, enjoying how the cool fresh air fills her lungs.

They take a seat on some crates. “I’m sorry you were caught up in my mess,” Lexa whispers.

“You’re not going to tell me what’s going on, are you?”

Lexa shakes her head. “It’s too dangerous.”

“I never thought I would ever see you again,” Tris replies. “I thought you were dead.”

“I would give anything for you to be able to think that still.” Lexa rubs her eyes and lets out a small sigh. “I’ve tried to keep you away from all of this for as long as I can.”

“I’m not a kid anymore,” Tris argues.

Lexa nods. “I know. But trust me when I say it’s better this way.”

Another silence falls between them and Lexa takes a moment to relax. She drops her posture, slumps her shoulders and lets the pain overtake her body once again. But she focuses on her breathing, channelling whatever she has left to keep going, at least for the moment - for Tris.

“Will I ever see you again?” Tris asks.

Of course there’s a part of Lexa that wants to scream “YES” but she doesn’t want to get either of their hopes up. She's dreamt a million times about this moment, about a time where she can Tris can be reunited, but with the way everything is going she doesn’t know if it ever could be a reality.

“I don’t know,” Lexa answers truthfully.

Tris nods. “Okay.” She reaches over and grab’s Lexa’s hand, offering her a reassuring squeeze.

Tears start to fall for Lexa and she doesn’t do anything to try and stop it. She holds onto Tris hand and there is just so much she wants to say, to ask, but now is not the time. So they sit there in silence for a while, taking in the short amount of time they have left with each other.

 

Becca takes Tris to the airport about twenty minutes later. Anya and Octavia have Lexa strip down to her bra and underwear as they tend to her wounds. Lexa puts up no fight, falling into the middle of the couch and letting Anya and Octavia do whatever they need to do. Everything stings and everything hurts and Lexa cries.

“You okay?” Anya asks.

Lexa shakes her head but doesn’t say anything else. Anya’s cleaning her wounds on her arms and Octavia tends to the ones on her back.

Eventually Lexa clears her throat and speaks up, “What happened after you left Nia’s office?” she asks.

“We got back to Raven,” Octavia replies. “Told her to drive and she asked where you and Clarke were. She almost didn’t leave because we didn’t know how to explain what had just happened. We wanted to get out of their asap.”

Anya nods. “I told her to just drive, so we did. We got to a hotel and Octavia called Becca, while I tried to explain what happened to Raven.”

“How?” Lexa asks.

“I asked her what she knew and just went off that,” Anya replies.

There’s not a lot of things that hurt Anya, but Lexa knows that Raven is someone very important to her. It might have been years since she’s seen them together, but she knows that Anya has hated lying to Raven since the beginning. It was something Lexa felt bad for, but time and time again, Anya reassured her that it was okay – to think about the bigger picture.

But even know Lexa can tell that Anya is hurting. She’s not showing a lot of it, but it’s there.

“I think Raven just assumed that Clarke called me for help at first,” Anya continues.

“But at the parking lot you told her you’ve been in this since the beginning…” Lexa whispers.

Anya nods. “I can’t lie to her anymore.”

“I’m so sorry, Anya. I'm sorry for bringing her into this."

“Don’t be.” Anya pauses and grabs another bandage from the first aid kit. “I’ll give her some space and time and hopefully she’ll let me talk to her again.”

Lexa reaches forward and gives Anya’s hand a reassuring squeeze. It’s another _thank you, I’m sorry,_ and _we’ll get through this_ all in one. Anya responds by simply giving a slight nod and continues to tend to her wounds.

Lexa then turns towards Octavia, “Aren’t you glad I taught you tap code now?” she asks. Octavia smiles and Lexa feels a lighter than a couple of minutes ago. “Good work with the tracker.”

“It wasn’t easy. Becca was mad that you didn’t give her the signal code when you planted the thing,” Octavia replies. “But she found it eventually.”

Lexa nods. When she first proposed the idea, Becca was hesitant. She was worried that someone would find it and perhaps assume that Clarke was in on it too or worse – somehow use it against them. Lexa’s concerns however, came from the heart. She knew that this would hurt Clarke immensely but she had to take the risk.

“So where do we go from here?” Octavia asks.

Anya finishes up her final bandage on Lexa. “For at least tonight, Lexa sleeps.”

“I don’t need–”

“You do,” Anya cuts in. “You were tortured by Alie, escaped The Ark, had to confront Clarke about Octavia, went up against Nia and almost died all in the matter of like… two days. You need sleep.”

Lexa takes a deep breath.

“All our shit will still be here tomorrow,” Anya continues. “Your body needs rest. _You_ need rest. You’re no use to us in your current state.”

“Gee, thanks,” Lexa whispers. But she says it in a way where she knows Anya won’t take any offence. She knows Anya is right, she needs at least tonight to recharge, to sleep, to find her bearings again. It really has been one thing after the other for the last two days and she needs to refocus if she’s going to be able to push forward.

Because she has to keep going.

“Even the best of us fall,” Anya whispers. She places her hand on Lexa’s shoulder, “But what matters is that you get up again. You keep going. You keep fighting. _We_ keep fighting.”

Lexa nods and lets out a small sigh. “This isn’t over yet.”

“We know,” Octavia replies. “But we’ve come this far.”

Anya stands up and makes her way across the room, picking up a few things before returning. She hands Lexa a couple of pain killers and a bottle of water. “Now, you rest. We’ll pick up again tomorrow.”

Lexa downs the pills and lets out another sigh. “You guys don’t need to stay here tonight.”

“Lexa…” Octavia whispers.

Lexa shakes her head. “I just, I need some time alone.”

“Are you sure?” Anya asks.

“Yeah,” Lexa nods. “If anything happens during the night, I’ll give you guys a call. I just really need to be alone tonight.”

Anya nods and starts to gather her things. “Octavia, I’ll give you a ride back to your place.”

Octavia stands up and places her hand on Lexa’s shoulder momentarily. Lexa places her hand over Octavia’s and gives a small nod. “Thank you for everything.”

“You’d do the same for me,” Octavia replies.

Lexa smiles and let’s go of Octavia’s hand. She watches as Anya walks towards her and stands up when her mentor is just a few feet away from her. Lexa opens her arms and Anya comes in for the hug. “Thank you Anya.”

“What have I told you?” Anya asks as she pulls away from the hug. “Don’t thank me until it’s over.”

Lexa manages a small chuckle and nods.

“You sure you going to be okay?” Anya asks again.

Lexa nods. “I promise.”

 

* * *

 

Having a bath is probably the most luxurious thing Lexa has given herself since the start of all of this. She knows she’s going to have to redress her wounds, but she thinks it’s going to be worth it. It’s a big tub that doubles as a shower as well. It’s deep enough that she can bring her knees up to her chest and still be mostly submerged in the water.

The water is hotter than normal, but it’s in this heat that her body completely relaxes. Lexa presses various parts of her body, flinching at the areas where the pain is still strong as ever. Where she can, she gently rubs her muscles in some feeble attempt at giving herself a massage. It definitely hurts, but over the length of her bath it seems to help.

Her pain is still fucking high, but it’s to the point where she knows how to manage it. The bath gives her exactly what she needs and despite nearly having died earlier, she feels like she might get _some_ sleep tonight. It might be only a few hours but it’s a few hours more than she’s had recently.

Once she’s out of the bath, Lexa dresses in some black shorts and an equally black t-shirt. She takes another pain killer and manages a few bites of some food before she feels like she’s going to throw up. Just as she’s about to take a seat on the couch to bandage herself up again, there’s a few knocks on the door.

Lexa takes her gun and cautiously makes her way to the door. She isn’t expecting anyone and in her current state, she won’t be able to fight off any unwanted intruders. Lexa swings the door open and holds her gun out, ready to shoot if need be. But when she realises it’s Clarke at the door, she drops it. “What are you doing here?” she asks.

Clarke stands there and Lexa can tell she’s been crying. Clarke looks as tired and drained as she is at this point.

“Can I come in?” Clarke whispers.

Lexa pauses for a moment before nodding and stepping aside. “How did you find me?”

“I tracked Anya,” Clarke replies. “I wanted to make sure you got back to wherever safely. I saw that Anya was here and Octavia too, so I waited till they left and then some more.”

Lexa closes the door and walks over to her signal jammer, realising that it isn’t on. She mentally slaps herself because it’s such a rookie mistake. If The Ark had tracked either Anya or Octavia while they were here, they would have been done for. She makes sure that it’s back up and working before turning back to Clarke.

"Don't worry," Clarke says, "I cloned their trackers just in case."

“And your tracker?”

“Cloned as well,” Clarke answers, “I’m at my apartment according to The Ark.”

“What are you going here?”

Clarke lets out a small breath, “We almost died today.”

“That isn’t anything new.”

Clarke sighs. “You and I both know that this time it was different.” She looks around the place and notices the first kit laid out by the couch before looking back to Lexa. “Let me help…”

Lexa sighs but nods nonetheless. They both make their way towards the couch, with Lexa sitting in the middle and Clarke right beside her. Clarke gets to work right away and it’s just silent between them again. Lexa closes her eyes and takes in the moment. Clarke’s touch is _so_ gentle but at the same time, reassuring.

“Tell me if anything starts to hurt or if the bandages are too tight,” Clarke whispers.

Lexa just nods in response. She swallows the lump in her throat and she doesn’t know what comes over her, but she can feel the tears starting to form. Everything about this moment sends her right back to when it use to be them, and Lexa fucking misses that. Clarke was once all the good in her life and Lexa thinks that she maybe she still is.

But the last thing Lexa deserves is Clarke – not after everything Lexa has put her through. You aren’t meant to hurt the ones you love and it’s all Lexa has done time and time again. She doesn’t mean to, but in the grand scheme of things, it’s not something she can avoid. So Lexa doesn’t think she deserves Clarke, not in this life anyways.

Clarke finishes wrapping the bandages around her arms and tends to the few scars on Lexa’s face. Lexa can feel that Clarke is close. Clarke’s fingers tilt her head slightly to the right, and Lexa can hear the even breaths coming from the woman in front of her. She doesn’t dare open her eyes though, out of complete fear. But the fear of what, she doesn’t exactly know.

Lexa lets out a small breath as she feels Clarke move away from her. “We almost died today,” she repeats.

Clarke hums in response. “Almost….”

“Why is this our normal?” Lexa asks.

Clarke shrugs and packs away the first aid kit. She eventually leans back into the couch and stares up into the ceiling. “I don’t remember a life where _this_ wasn’t the normal.”

“Me too…” Another momentary silence falls between the two of them and Lexa leans back into the couch as well, looking up to the ceiling.

“I don’t want to be alone tonight,” Clarke whispers. “That’s why I’m here.”

“Raven wouldn’t have left you alone.”

Clarke sighs softly. “No she wouldn’t… But the reason why I’m not with Raven right now is probably the same reason why you’re not with Anya or Octavia right now.”

Lexa hums in response and just nods. She doesn’t need any more of an explanation from Clarke, because she feels the same way. While she does want to be alone, she will choose the option of not being alone with Clarke in this moment (and probably any other day). It’s just it didn’t cross her mind; Clarke being here is the last thing she expected.

“We’re in dangerous waters,” Lexa breathes.

“What’s new?”

Lexa chuckles. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

Clarke turns to Lexa, “Can I ask you something?” she asks. Lexa nods. “For now, can we just… can we just be _us?_ No black boxes, no Nia, no Jaha, no Ark talk in general.”

“We’re definitely in dangerous waters now,” Lexa replies. While the idea seems perfect, she doesn’t know if she can trust herself for them to just _be._ Clarke is her weakness and if Lexa drops her guard, even for a night, who knows how things will go. She doesn’t want to fall back into what could have been for them, it hurts all too much.

Clarke stands up and pulls out her phone from her back pocket. She goes through her phone for a moment before playing a song and setting her phone on the table. “Dance with me,” Clarke says as she holds out her hand.

“Clarke…” Lexa whispers.

“Choose your heart.... choose me….” Clarke replies, “Even if it’s just for tonight.”

Lexa doesn’t react straight away. Of course she wants to reach out and take Clarke’s hand, but she knows that by doing so she’s going to put herself in a worse situation than she’s already in with the woman in front of her.

Clarke retreats her hand. “Do you want me to go?”

“No,” Lexa breathes. She stands up and steps closer to Clarke. Her heart is beating in her throat, but eventually she manages to wrap her arms around Clarke’s waist.

Clarke smiles and responds by wrapping her arms around Lexa’s neck. They start to sway to the music, holding each other close and just letting themselves be _just_ Clarke and Lexa for the moment.

“Look at us, two assassins, dancing to Ed Sheeran,” Lexa whispers.

Clarke shakes her head slightly. “Not assassins, not right now… We’re just two people… dancing…”

Lexa takes a deep breath and nods. She still doesn’t know if this is something she should be doing, but being this close to Clarke again is all she can think about. It feels like coming home and it’s probably the only other thing she wants in this life, other than to bring down The Ark.

Halfway during the song, Lexa finds herself being pulled in closer to Clarke. They’re in each other’s arms now, with Lexa resting her chin on Clarke’s shoulder. They sway quietly for the rest of the song and even when the song ends, they take their time in stepping away from each other.

“I have something for you,” Lexa whispers. She doesn’t wait for Clarke to reply, instead walking back towards the bedroom. Shuffling through her clothes, she pulls out Jake’s watch. Just before they escaped the cargo container, she managed to swim and grab it. It’s broken now, but this is probably the last thing Clarke has from her dad and Lexa wanted to make sure she didn’t lose it.

Walking back to Clarke, Lexa offers the watch. “I would offer to fix it, but I don’t think you’d want me touching it after last time.”

Clarke takes the watch and just nods. “Thank you.”

Lexa smiles but then Clarke steps closer to her, and Lexa reacts by taking a step back. There’s a few more steps until her back hits the wall, and Clarke just stands there, looking at her. “Clarke…” she whispers.

Clarke leans in a little closer until their noses are touching. Lexa brings her arms to Clarke’s shoulders, ready to stop her from doing something she might regret. But Clarke steps closer and pins Lexa’s body against the wall, crashing their lips together.

Lexa moans into the kiss right away because she’s dreamt of this moment time and time again. Clarke’s lips are soft against her own, moving with care and delicacy, moving with purpose. Lexa pulls Clarke in by the neck, their lips never once breaking apart.

“Clarke,” Lexa breathes as the kiss ends. “We can’t.”

“We can.”

Clarke kisses her again, running her tongue along Lexa’s bottom lip. And just like the kiss moments before, Lexa sees fireworks, she feels the butterflies and she can’t bring herself to stop. Everything else just seems to disappear and it really feels like it’s just them.

Lexa ends the kiss again, slowly opening her eyes to see Clarke doing pretty much the same. She pulls Clarke in so that their foreheads are resting together, “It might just and you and I right now, but what about tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow…” Clarke whispers, “It’ll still be you and I.”

Lexa pushes Clarke back so that she can see the blue eyes before her. She doesn’t know what to make of what’s just been said and she’s afraid to ask.

“It’s always been you and I,” Clarke says.

“Clarke–”

Clarke shakes her head and kisses Lexa again. It’s a quick one before she’s pulling away again, “It’s always going to be you and I.”

This time it’s Lexa that surges forward to connect their lips in another fiery kiss. Clarke bends just slightly and Lexa finds herself jumping up and wrapping her legs around Clarke’s waist. There’s a stabbing pain in her upper thigh and one in her stomach, but she pushes it out of her mind and focuses solely on Clarke.

They find themselves in the bedroom, or at least the part of the safe house that’s got the bed. It really isn’t even a bed, it’s just a mattress of the floor with some sheets and blankets covering it. Clarke lowers herself so that she ends up sitting on the mattress, keeping Lexa above her the best she can.

Lexa thinks that she’s dreaming. Clarke is kissing her, holding her, touching her and it all feels surreal. There’s this part of her that feels like the balls about to drop any moment but then Clarke moans or whispers Lexa’s name and she’s drawn back to reality.

“Clarke, are you sure?” Lexa asks in almost a whisper.

Clarke nods. She runs her hands up and down Lexa’s shoulder, being mindful of the wounds and bandages. “Are _you_ sure? I don’t want to aggravate your wounds… we can just–”

Lexa cuts her off with another kiss. Clarke’s hands move to the small of her back, delicately running her fingers up and down her bare skin. Lexa starts to slowly grind down, slipping her hands down to the hem of Clarke’s shirt. “Can I?” she asks.

“Yes,” Clarke breathes.

Lexa pulls the shirt over Clarke’s head in one swift motion with the blonde curls cascading back down beautifully. Without saying anything, Clarke reaches around her back and unclasps her bra, throwing it to the side before pulling Lexa in for another kiss.

They continue kissing as they fall back onto the bed. Hands begin to roam a little more and it ignites something pretty spectacular between the two of them. Lexa kisses her way down Clarke’s neck, relishing in the sounds that fills the roam. She nips and sucks at various spots before focusing her attention of Clarke’s breasts.

She seals her lips around the erect nipple, sucking and running her tongue along it. The other hand gentle massages the other breast. She keeps a steady rhythm, doing certain patterns over and over as Clarke continues to squirm below her.

Lexa forgets any pain she’s in. The only thing on her mind is that this is actually happening, that she’s actually _here_ with Clarke, again. It still seems like a dream. Eventually she starts to kiss her way down between the valley of Clarke’s breast, down her sternum and towards her naval.

“Lexa…” Clarke breathes. “Come back here, please.”

Lexa kisses her way back up until they’re chest to chest again. Clarke guides one of her hands between the body and she gets the message. “Are you sure?” Lexa asks again.

Clarke nods. “Please.”

Lexa leans down and kisses Clarke. Her hand slips under Clarke’s pants and underwear, and at first contact it’s her that moans first. Clarke’s arousal coaxes her fingers and the woman below her begins moaning her name over and over. She rubs mindless patterns over Clarke’s clit and the beating in her chest picks up dramatically.

“Tell me what you want,” Lexa breathes.

“You,” Clarke answers. “I just want _you._ ”

Lexa nods and pulls her hand out of Clarke’s pants. She brings her fingers up to her lips, licking the them seductively as Clarke watches. The taste of Clarke’s arousal almost sends her into overdrive. And it seems to have the same effect on Clarke, as the woman below her is pulling her in for another passionate kiss.

They only stop kissing so that they can get rid of the rest of their clothes. Once they’re both naked, Lexa straddles one of Clarke’s thighs and leans down again. With her elbows at the either side of Clarke’s head she brushes their noses together. Clarke seems to do the same as they both share a silent moment.

“The only reason why I’m letting you top me is because you’re hurt,” Clarke smirks.

Lexa laughs. “You’re always so considerate.”

“I do what I can.”

Lexa laughs again and closes the distance between them. This time she kisses Clarke slowly. Their lips move in sync as their tongues glide against each other. Clarke’s hands move to grip Lexa’s ass, squeezing each cheek gently and pulling her in closer.

Lexa starts a slow grind and the sensation already seems like it’s too much. Her own arousal mixes with Clarke’s and as their clits rub against reach other it elicits is the sweetest and most pleasurable feeling within her.

“Clarke-” Lexa pants. She’s cut off by a strangled moan, their kisses become sloppy as Lexa continues to thrust into Clarke.

“I’ve got you, baby,” Clarke whispers before she kisses Lexa again.

The room fills with the panting and moaning from both ends. Lexa can feel herself getting close, and she assumes that Clarke is too with the way she’s moving below her. She doesn’t miss the way Clarke holds her, she doesn’t miss the way Clarke avoids her fresher scars and she doesn’t miss the way Clarke’s fingers trace the scars that have been there for years.

Lexa hits her peak first, and when she comes she feels like she’s flying. Clarke holds her a little tighter, kisses her a little more passionately and does everything she can to prolong Lexa’s high. And what a high it is, Lexa feels like she’s on cloud nine and another indescribable feeling washes over her.

When she’s metaphorically speaking, back on two feet, Lexa kisses her way down Clarke’s body again. Clarke continues to squirm in anticipation and Lexa wastes no time. She gives one broad swipe between Clarke’s folds and the taste once again sends her right into the clouds.

“Lexaaaaa,” Clarke whines. One hand finds itself in Lexa’s hair and the other grips onto the bedsheets.

Lexa arms wrap around Clarke’s thighs and she pins the woman down so that Clarke’s hip don’t buck up. She swipes the alphabet through Clarke’s folds, repeating a few letters that cause some sort of reaction. Never in her life would she have thought she’d ever have the pleasure of being _with_ Clarke again, so she takes her time to make sure she gives everything she’s got.

Her pain is still very there, but the pleasure Lexa’s currently feeling outweighs it all. She hasn’t been with anyone since Clarke, so it feels like coming home. She feels a lot of things she hasn’t felt in a while; safe, content, _happy._ She knows that all the bad in her life is still there, waiting for her, but for now Lexa lets herself _just be_ with Clarke.

“Baby,” Clarke pants, “Lexa, please.”

Lexa sucks on Clarke’s clit, releasing it with a slight ‘pop’. She continues to trace her tongue up, down and around – and she’s intoxicated by the taste.

Clarke comes with Lexa’s name falling from her lips and her back arching off the mattress. Lexa doesn’t stop though, coaxing Clarke down from her orgasm. She watches what she can and it’s a sight that she’s going to remember forever. But then again, this isn’t anything new because whenever she’s been intimate with Clarke, she always tries to remember it. It feels like a fucking honour being able to love Clarke.

When Clarke goes limp, Lexa kisses her way back up. She takes her time though, kissing every scar, every bruise, every little dip and curve she can. There’s a few spots that make Clarke giggle and it’s a sound that causes Lexa’s heart to flutter.

When she’s close enough, Clarke pulls her in for a heated kiss. Clarke’s tongue licks along her lips and dips itself into her mouth. Lexa moans and lets herself fall into the moment. Clarke’s taking lead in how their kisses play out, but she doesn’t care.

 

* * *

 

Clarke wakes the following morning and it takes her a moment to remember where she is, or more importantly, who she’s with. She’s spooning Lexa, her arms wrapped around the woman she still loves. It’s a bitter sweet revelation because part of her knows that Lexa is the one for her and they’ll always find their way back to each other. But the other part of her remembers the situation they’re in and her heart sinks.

Clarke’s hand sits atop Lexa’s breast. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, focusing on Lexa’s heartbeat. It’s all that she focuses on for the time being, the steady beat she feels through her fingertips. It calms her because even after all this time, she sometimes still has trouble believing that Lexa is still alive.

For four years Clarke thought Lexa was dead. Accepting her death was probably the hardest thing she’s ever had to do, but Clarke slowly found her way back to herself. While she always believed that Lexa was her soulmate, she couldn’t stay stuck in the past. She cherished the memories she had and the moments they shared. But then Lexa came back and Clarke felt as if her whole life turned upside down – which it did.

But here they were, in this moment.

She didn’t know what she was thinking when she showed up at Lexa’s door last night. The only thing she knew was that she didn’t want to be alone. But then they fell back into a time where it was just them and Clarke realised how much she missed it all.  She’s missed Lexa every damn day, every moment, every touch, every kiss. She missed how they were when they were together.

With her arms wrapped protectively around Lexa, Clarke knows that this is her tipping point. She just doesn’t know how she’s going to move forward from here. This is life or death and with her flipping over to the other side, the odds were not in her favour. But she thinks about the last couple of months, she thinks about Lexa, Octavia and Anya and how they’ve been fighting for this.

Clarke is going to fight _for_ her people.

The ringing of her phone stirs Lexa awake. “Morning,” Clarke whispers.

Lexa turns around and rubs her eyes. “You’re still here.”

Clarke nods and pulls her in closer, “I meant it when I said that it’ll still be you and me today.”

“Clarke…”

“It’s got to stop,” Clarke breathes. “It’s got to stop.”

Lexa lifts her head up and green eyes just dance with blue. Clarke knows that Lexa is looking for any sort of hesitation or concern, but there is none. Clarke might now know how things are going to play out from here but she knows that she’s making the right choice. She’s tried fighting _with_ her people, but that doesn’t help anyone. It’s time to change that.

“Are you sure?” Lexa asks.

Clarke raises an eyebrow, “You don’t want me to join your side?”

“It’s not that,” Lexa replies. “Of course I want you on my side, but this means going against your people. Even if it’s for the bigger picture, it’s still going against your people and I want to make sure that you know what you’re getting yourself in to.”

“I’ve been going against my people, indirectly, since you’ve been back,” Clarke whispers. She runs her fingers along Lexa’s bare shoulder, “By not bringing you in I went against them… but I wasn’t going to go against you either.”

“You’ve got to go, don’t you?” Lexa asks.

And Clarke knows that she’s referring to the ringing of her phone just moments before. It wasn’t a call, but an alarm and a series of reminders for the day. “Yeah,” Clarke nods. “Meeting with higher ups.”

“About me?”

“Most likely.” Clarke lets out a small sigh and moves her fingers to trail the side of Lexa’s face. The last thing she wants to do is get out of this bed. Being in this moment again has got her feeling like this is exactly where she’s meant to be. It just life’s always got other plans. “We’ll get through today and I’ll come back to you,” she whispers. “We’ll figure out where to go from there.”

Lexa nods softly but Clarke can tell that she’s still unsure about it all. It doesn’t surprise her though, because this is not a decision she makes lightly. Though Lexa might not know exactly how she’s feeling, ever since this started, Clarke’s been caught somewhere in the middle. Now it’s time to stop fucking around and do something that matters.

Clarke ends up getting dressed first. As she pulls her hair from out of under her shirt, she looks over to Lexa who’s just slipped into her shorts. Lexa makes quick work with her shirt and smiles towards her. “I would offer you breakfast, but all I have is a half-eaten sandwich.”

“It’s okay,” Clarke replies. She stands up and moves to stand in front of Lexa, pulling the woman closer so their lips reconnect. Clarke kisses her not like they’re about to go their separate ways again, but like she’s reassuring Lexa that she’ll be back. She’s in this for good.

“I have to ask you something,” Lexa breathes as they break away from the kiss.

Clarke holds Lexa close, “What is it?”

“I need you to look out for Octavia while she’s in The Ark. Bellamy knows something is up.”

The news doesn’t really Clarke by surprise. She picked up on it while she was driving to Ice Nation the day before. “Okay,” she promises, “I’ll make sure he doesn’t do anything to her.”

“Thank you.”

Clarke cups either side of Lexa’s face and kisses her again. “I’ll see you soon.” She then moves about the place, finding her weapons and phone before making her way towards the door. But before Clarke gets there, the door swings open and she sees Lincoln and Luna standing on the other side.

Immediately, Lincoln and Luna draw out their guns which prompts Clarke to do the same. Lexa is quick to jump in the line of fire, “Stop!” she calls out.

“What is she doing here?” Lincoln asks, not listening to Lexa’s orders.

“Lincoln,” Lexa pleads, “Please.”

Lincoln doesn’t budge though. “Answer me, Clarke. What are you doing here?”

Clarke doesn’t answer, but slowly lowers her gun and puts it back in her holster. She expects Lincoln and Luna to do the same but that doesn’t happen. But Clarke guesses that she shouldn’t be too surprised considering that they’ve been out of the loop for the last couple of days.

“Clarke’s with us now,” Lexa reveals.

Clarke nods. “I know you don’t have much reason to trust me…”

“You can say that again,” Luna cuts in.

“But it’s true. I don’t have time to explain but I’m sure Lexa will fill you in.” Clarke steps toward Lexa and pulls the woman in for a hug. “You and me,” she whispers.

Lexa nods and pulls away from the hug, leaning in again to kiss Clarke. It’s a quick, chaste kiss but it’s enough to reassure them both that they were now in this together. With one final goodbye, Clarke soon leaves. The moment she steps outside the safe house, there’s a part of her that wants to walk right back in. But she knows that she’s got to head into The Ark before higher ups give her another call.

 

* * *

 

After the days she’s had, the last place Octavia wants to be at is The Ark. But that’s where she finds herself, again. She’s been called into another briefing and it makes her sick to pretend that she’s still a loyal agent. She honestly doesn’t know how Anya did it for four whole years, especially with her position as Head of Alpha team.

It's when she finishes her briefing that she overhears some of the other recruits that Aden is in medical. Aden’s been one of the few people Octavia came to like while she’s been here, so when she hears that he’s been hurt, she rushes to see him.

At first sight, Octavia visibly gasps. Aden limps across medical, hopping into the chair with a soft groan. He’s got a couple of bruises across his face and he’s gripping his left arm tightly. She doesn’t say anything though, instead just stepping into the room and waits for any indication that he doesn’t want her there. She gets none.

Octavia watches Finn work, and the room is so silent. And with the way medical smells, like it’s _too_ clean, it makes a little worse. Finn works quickly, asking questions here and there, with Aden providing the bare minimum in terms of responding. It’s not a surprise, giving the condition that he’s in.

When Finn leaves to grab some medication, Octavia scoots herself a little closer. “Aden, what happened?”

“Nothing,” he replies.

“Aden.”

“Octavia, just drop it.”

Octavia shakes her head. “What happened?” she asks, again.

Aden lets out a small puff. “Alie… she’s been taking recruits all night and interrogating anyone she thinks might be the mole.”

Octavia gulps and fees fucking horrible. She might not be the one who’s torturing the recruits, but she’s basically the reason for it. She’s the mole, but she doesn’t know if there’s anyway to stop what’s happening without outing herself. So she sits back, and stays with him for the time being.

At this point, she doesn’t know what the plan is. Anya’s in another meeting, and said that she’ll come find Octavia when she’s done. Octavia doesn’t know where Clarke is, or Raven for that matter. She doesn’t know what’s going to happen when she runs into them, or even her brother. This is such a mess.

 

* * *

 

As Clarke reaches the facility, she decides to find Raven first. It’s definitely a risk telling her what’s going on, but she knows that Raven isn’t going to throw her under the bus. If anything, Clarke is hoping that Raven follows her. She knows that it’s a long shot, especially with Raven only finding out everything the day before, but there isn’t going to be a better time to ask.

Clarke checks the usual areas Raven occupies, but nothing so far. She isn’t in the control room, the training floor or teaching a class. Clarke asks around but no one seems to know where she is. On any other day it wouldn’t concern her, but today it does. After everything that’s happened, this almost worries her more than anything she’s been through since she’s been an agent.

She makes her way down towards medical, where she doesn’t find Raven but she finds Octavia and Aden. Aden sits in the chair, holding an ice pack to his face. Clarke can tell he’s taken quite the beating and Octavia is standing, offering silent support.

“What happened?” Clarke asks, stepping into the room.

“Nothing,” Aden mumbles.

Clarke knows him well enough to know that this isn’t nothing. Recruits in medical isn’t a big deal, usually it’s because they went too hard during one of their training sessions. But Clarke can tell that this is no training accident. With the look in Octavia’s eyes, Clarke’s got a pretty good feeling on what the situation is, but she waits until one of them explains.

“Alie is still trying to find–” Octavia whispers.

Aden shakes his head, flinching as the pain hits him again. “Octavia, don’t.”

“–The mole,” Octavia finishes. “She’s got another five recruits down in the basement.”

All Clarke can do is nod. She leaves Aden and Octavia, saying that she’ll handle it. Hopefully that’s enough of an indication to Octavia that she’s on her side, but she’ll take the time to explain later. For now, Clarke just hopes that it doesn’t look suspicious when she steps in the middle of Alie’s interrogation. She is Head of Recruits after all, and despite her now on the other side of all of this, she still had a duty to protect her people.

She heads towards the basement, where she thinks Alie is holding up the other recruits. Alie’s interrogation methods are brutal, and with this whole Lexa thing hitting the Ark more than higher-ups would have ever liked, Alie has got to be furious.

But as she reaches the basement, she’s too late. Alie is already stepping out of the room with a bloody cloth in her hands. She’s taking to some of the other agents and Clarke’s stomach sinks, she could probably be sick if she wasn’t already so use to pushing the feelings aside. Even from the distance, Clarke tell can Alie is frustrated – which honestly can’t be good for anyone.

Clarke walks up to Alie once she’s alone. “You need to stop hurting my recruits.”

“I’m doing my job,” Alie replies. “What do you need? We're needed upstairs.”

They start making their way back up, and Clarke lets out a small sigh. “These are _my_ recruits. I saw Aden in medical, you’re beating these people to a pulp for no reason.”

“Someone in The Ark is a mole, Clarke.”

“We don’t know that for sure.”

Alie shakes her head. “We do. Monty found a shellbox program in the system yesterday. Someone in here has been helping Lexa, and I’m going to find out who it is.” She pauses to take a look at her phone. “Meeting starts in five minutes, don't be late."

Clarke doesn’t get a chance to respond before Alie is off in another direction. This shell box is news to her and she makes a mental note to ask/tell Octavia, Anya and Lexa as soon as she can. But for now, she needs to find Raven.

 

She eventually finds Raven, but they don’t get a chance to talk before they’re being called in by Jaha. Stepping in to the control room, Clarke sees that the rest of Alpha team is there, Bravo, Charlie and Delta teams too. Jaha stands up the front with Alie and Kane by his side, ready to speak for when everyone settles down a little.

Jaha pinches the bridge of his nose before clearing his throat. The room goes silent immediately. “This has gone on for long enough,” he says sternly. “I don’t understand how a group of the best agents we’ve ever had, still can’t bring down Lexa and her little band of misfits.”

“Lexa was the best agent The Ark has ever had,” one the agents point out.

“BUT SHE’S JUST ONE PERSON!” Jaha yells. “ONE PERSON, versus the lot of you! How hard is it to kill her?” He looks over to Alpha team, “I know a few of you have a history with her, but she’s fighting against _us_. She’s fighting against _our_ people!”

Clarke blocks everything out from here on out. Jaha goes on about loyalty and fighting with the rest of The Ark and it just makes her more furious. It’s a lot of talk – talk that she’s so tired of hearing. Jaha and higher-ups continue to paint Lexa as the villain in all of this. 

When Jaha gives the orders to graduate the next ten recruits without the proper formalities, Clarke speaks up immediately. She tries to fight it, but Jaha wants everyone on Lexa. He wants her dead, and it’s not an easy thing to stomach. But Clarke pushes through, she sucks it up and she tries to play the loyal agent for just a little longer.

“Four of the six black boxes are now destroyed,” Jaha reveals. “And I need,” he looks around the room, “All of you to retrieve the last box for me.”

“All of us?” Anya asks.

Jaha nods. “I can’t risk the last Reaper coming here. So I need my best agents to go get it.”

Anya just nods. “When do we leave?”

“In two days,” Jaha replies. “Mason has gone dark at my command for the time being.”

 

* * *

 

When Aden is given the all clear to leave medical, Octavia walks with him back to his room. They don’t say anything the entire way, and it’s taking everything in her to not apologise. She doesn’t know if by being here with him is the right thing to do, but it’s all she can offer at this point. She just hopes that when this is all over, he can forgive her.

Octavia leaves Aden at his room. She lets him now that she’ll be around if he needs anything, but he remains pretty quiet – saying that he just wants to rest before his class in the afternoon.

It’s as she’s leaving, she bumps into Bellamy. The look on his face tells Octavia that he wasn’t expecting to see her anytime soon. Before she has a chance to say anything, he’s taking her towards one of the empty corridors where there’s a blindspot with the cameras.

“What the hell around you doing here?” Bellamy asks.

Octavia doesn’t know how to respond. Bellamy knows that something is up and there’s no way she can pretend that there isn’t anything going on. But she is not going to explain things to him, not now. Briefly, she thinks that it’s best for him – to keep him out of this mess as best she can. But the more she thinks about it, it’s for everyone else she’s been working with – for Lexa, for Anya, even for Becca, Lincoln and Luna.

“Whatever you’re doing for Lexa, stop. It can’t be worth risking your life for,” he continues. “She doesn’t care about you. She’ll cut you loose the moment she’s done with you.”

Octavia thought she would have a thicker skin at this point. But with the way Bellamy talks about Lexa, she can’t keep quiet about it. While Lexa is the reason she’s in this, Lexa isn’t the reason why she’s chosen to stay and fight. Before Lexa, Octavia didn’t feel like she had a purpose. And now, Octavia knows what she has to do. She has to help take down the Ark.

“Lexa’s done more for me than you have,” Octavia whispers.

“I had to leave,” Bellamy argues. “They said that they would protect you if I went with them.”

Octavia nods. “I believe that, but it doesn’t change the fact that they didn’t. It seems like you just blindly followed them.”

“Do you really think what Lexa is doing, is right?” he asks.

“Yeah, I do.” Octavia pauses and looks around for a moment, “Lexa’s done nothing but protect me, but you… just the other day you were threatening me if I showed back here.”

“I’m trying to protect you.”

Octavia scoffs. “You have some way of showing it.”

“I’m your brother.”

Octavia rolls her eyes this time. “ _Technically,_ yes. But I lost my brother the day he decided to leave 8 years ago.” There is a pang in her chest as the words escape her lips, but it’s the truth. Though they have rebuilt their relationship slightly since she’s been in The Ark, Octavia realises that not everything can be fixed. No matter how much time or space or talking they go through, she doesn’t know if she and Bellamy can ever get to a good place again.

“So you are working with Lexa?” Bellamy asks.

Octavia scoffs again. “Of course that’s what you ask about,” she says. “I basically say that I don’t have a brother anymore and you shrug it off like it’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing,” Bellamy argues. “But whether you see it or not, I’m trying to help.”

“Help by leaving me alone.”

“I can’t do that.”

Octavia raises her eyebrow. “So what? You going to take me to higher-ups?” Bellamy doesn’t reply straight away. “Oh my god, you would, wouldn’t you?”

“What do you expect me to do?” Bellamy asks. “It’s only a matter of time before someone dies in this fight and the odds are stacked against you, Octavia.”

“Then don’t take me in.” Octavia turns on her heels and takes a step away, not wanting to carry on the conversation any further.

“Think about the people you’re going against!” Bellamy calls out.

Octavia comes to a stop and she feels Bellamy take a few steps closer.

“Think about the people you’ve become friends with here… Aden… Clarke…” Bellamy whispers. “Hell, even Anya. She’s taken you under her wing and what’s going to happen when she finds out that you’ve been playing her this entire time?”

Octavia grits her teeth but she doesn’t say anything. She’s sick and she’s tired of this argument. There isn’t any doubt in her mind that she’s on the right side of this, but she knows that not everyone is going to be sharing the same views as her.

She leaves without saying anything and thankfully, Bellamy doesn’t chase after her. It’s one hell of a risky move, to leave without knowing what he’s going to do – but it’s a risk she has to take. The conversation with Bellamy has taken her back a little, so she goes to find Anya. Anya will know what to do.

Octavia doesn’t even make it to the main floor before she bumps into Anya. Anya doesn’t say anything, but merely gives her a look that says ‘come with me right now.’ They make their way down towards the garage and Anya guides them towards her car. But before they hop in, Octavia spots Raven and Clarke just across from them. There’s a beat between them and Octavia is sure that this moment could play out a number of ways.

Octavia turns to Anya, who’s looking right at Raven. Even she knew that they were together, but it isn’t her place to say anything. She just can’t imagine what it’s been like for the either of them since this whole thing began.

 “Get in the car,” Anya says. And Octavia does as she’s told.

In the side view mirror, she can see Raven’s car following just behind them. But five minutes into the drive and away from The Ark facility, Raven’s car is off in another direction. “Where are we going?” Octavia asks, turning her attention back in front of her.

“Lexa’s.” Anya takes a moment to take a turn before continuing again. “Jaha is taking Alpha, Bravo, Charlie and Delta teams to Canada to retrieve the box in two days.”

Octavia is a little surprised by that plan. That’s four of the best Ark teams, all going to retrieve the black box. It just seems a little excessive, even by her standards. But she guesses that Jaha doesn’t want to lose this box and he’s going to be putting everything he can into protecting it. That just means that they need to come up with one hell of a plan to make sure _they_ get it instead.

 

* * *

 

“You’re going to have to talk to her,” Clarke whispers.

“No I don’t.”

Clarke sighs, “Raven–”

The car goes silent for the moment. Clarke’s with Raven and they’re on their way to their apartments. They’re given the day off to plan for the retrieval of the black box, and they’re meant to come in the following day to discuss their moves.

She knows she needs to go to Lexa, but she also needs to talk to Raven first. The tension between Raven and Anya in the meeting earlier wasn’t subtle at all. She knows everyone in that room picked up in it, but everyone knew better than to ask what was up.

“She’s been lying to me for years!” Raven yells. “Years! And then there’s Octavia, like this is a fucking mess.”

“I know…” Clarke whispers.

“And we’re right in the middle of it.”

“I know…” There’s another pause before Clarke continues, “You should give Anya a chance to explain.”

Raven lets out an audible huff. “You’re meant to be on my side.”

“I am,” Clarke argues. “I’m just saying, there’s a reason why neither of us have gone to higher-ups about this.”

“Fuck…” Raven sighs.

Clarke doesn’t know hot to say it, that she’s switched sides. This is a conversation that that has crossed her mind in the past, but now faced with the reality of it, she just doesn’t know how to string the words together. There’s a part of her that hopes Raven joins her, but she knows that’s a long shot. But the two of them have always been on the same wavelength, so it’s a risk she’s willing to take.

“How are you?” Raven asks.

Clarke shrugs softly. “I’m okay.”

“You almost died yesterday, Clarke. It’s okay not to be okay.”

Clarke doesn’t answer immediately. Of course there are parts of her that physically hurt, but overall, she’s okay. She knows a lot of it has to do with the fact that she spent the night with Lexa but it’s also the fact that she isn’t somewhere in the middle anymore. She knows what she has to do moving forward.

“Where did you end up going last night?” Raven asks.

Clarke lets out a small breath. “To Lexa’s,” she answers.

Raven abruptly pulls them over to the side of the road and puts the car into park. The atmosphere in the car changes completely. It’s now tense and thick, causing an uneasy feeling in Clarke’s stomach. Raven turns to Clarke, “You have a death wish or something?”

Clarke sighs. “We’re on the wrong side of this.”

“Get out.”

“Raven–”

Raven shakes her head. “Now, Clarke.”

Clarke unbuckles her seat belt and reaches over the back to grab her duffel bag. She gives Raven one more look, pleading to let her stay and explain. But all she gets in return is another warning to get out.


	16. the calm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy reading :)

Regret is a strong word for what Raven is feeling after kicking Clarke out of the car, but it's the only word that comes to mind. Her whole world has flipped in a matter of days and she just doesn’t know how the hell she’s meant to be dealing with this. It’s one thing to have an old friend come back, to have _Lexa_ come back and bring this war against the very organisation she’s been a part of. But it’s another thing to find out that Anya’s been on the other side this whole time and that Clarke is now fighting for them too.

In the back of her mind, she’s always questioned The Ark but she’s never acted on it, or voiced these thoughts. Like everyone else in The Ark, the organisation has information about her that could destroy her. That _will_ destroy her. 

Since Lexa’s been back, Raven’s been teetering somewhere in the middle. After every incident they’ve been through, Raven always found herself questioning which is the wrong and which is the right side of all of this. For a while she thought she could stay somewhere in the middle, but now, now she knows she needs to make a proper decision.

 

* * *

 

Octavia and Anya arrive at Lexa’s safe house by noon. Octavia knows that Lexa has a signal jammer, but Anya’s cloned their signals to say that they’re at their respective apartments anyways. She does ask about it, the whole thing about cloning signals. And Anya tells her that higher-ups don’t know that they know how to do it. It definitely comes in handy from time to time.

They make their way up the stairs and eventually find Lexa lying flat across the couch. Lincoln and Luna are sitting at the table, working away at their laptops. Lexa still looks like crap, but she looks better than she did the previous night.

Leaving Lexa alone was not something Octavia wanted to do, but she understands what it’s like to want some time alone. They have all been through a lot, especially in the last couple of days. She’s just glad that Lexa’s been given a moment to breathe.

When Lexa notices it’s them, she sits up right away. “What do you have for me?” Lexa asks.

Anya crosses the room in a couple of quick strides, and Octavia follows closely behind. “How are your wounds?” Anya asks instead. “No fever? Infections?”

“I’m fine,” Lexa says. But Anya doesn’t seem convinced, and Octavia isn’t either. She’s thankful it’s Anya asking these questions because Lexa is the type of person who will ignore her own needs to make sure everyone else is okay first. Anya is probably the only person who can get Lexa to talk without any bullshit.

Anya reassess Lexa’s wounds, cleaning some, and reapplying bandages on others. She scolds Lexa slightly for not taking care of herself a little better. And Lexa doesn’t argue to say much, she just nods along and does as she’s told. Octavia’s never seen her like this – and she doesn’t know if it’s because it’s Anya or because of everything Lexa’s been through in the past few days.

About ten minutes later Anya is telling everyone about The Ark’s next move – everything from flight times to what she _thinks_ will happen once they land in Canada (since formal operations plans are being discussed the following day).

Octavia sits and keeps to herself for the time being, but remains completely focused on the conversation at hand. Listening to Lexa, Anya, Lincoln and Luna talk about strategy is something else. Sure she’s an agent as well, but the four in front of her are on another level to her. It’s not a bad thing, they just have another perspective to this whole thing since they were actual, loyal agents to the Ark once a upon a time.

The four of them are talking about how they should intercept Ark agents in Canada. There’s a lot of going back and forth, a lot of strategies and a lot of contingencies put on the table. Octavia thinks about her own plan though, different from the ones that’s already been suggested.

“What if we don’t intercept them in Canada?” she says when the conversation goes a little quiet.

Everyone looks right at her, raising their eyebrows. The spotlight is on her now and she feels like this is her time to show everyone what she’s got. She might be on a different level to everyone else, but it doesn’t mean she can’t hold her own.

“Go on,” Lexa prompts.

Octavia takes a deep breath. “Four of the strongest Ark teams are going to retrieve the box in Canada, which means that they’ll be out of the facility…”

“Are you saying that we go in and get Jaha’s box first?” Lincoln asks.

Octavia nods. “We hit The Ark first. Whether we go in quietly or all guns blazing, we have a better chance at getting Jaha’s box while the best are out of the country.”

Anya turns to Lexa, “If we can get Becca into the system, it might work.”

“Do you know where Jaha keeps his box?” Lexa asks.

Anya nods. “There’s a safe in his office.”

“Do we go in quietly or do we cause a chaos?” Luna asks.

“It depends on how we want things to play out from here,” Octavia replies. “We need a pretty good plan either way. But if we go in quietly, and we’re successful, we might be able to intercept Ark teams coming back from Canada before they get to The Ark.”

Luna nods along in agreement. “And if we go in hot and strong?”

Octavia clears her throat and continues. “Like you said, it will be chaos. But everyone in The Ark will be rattled even more, leaving them a little more vulnerable for an attack.”

“Not bad, rookie,” Lincoln smiles.

Octavia rolls her eyes. “Rookie?” Lincoln continues to smile at her and for the first time in a while, she smiles too. But she quickly realises that everyone is currently looking at her.

“Yeah, rookie. At least between the five of us.”

“Lincoln, stop flirting,” Anya says casually.

“We go in quietly,” Lexa announces. “Too many things can go wrong if we go in hot.”

“Things can go wrong either way,” Anya points out.

“I know that,” Lexa sighs. “But this is what I’m suggesting. We take a vote, majority wins.”

Octavia doesn’t say anything right away, instead looking between everyone else. She’s with Lexa on this one. Going in quietly means that there’s less of a chance of anyone getting hurt in the process, and there are people in The Ark that she really doesn’t want to hurt (anymore) in all of this.

Everyone seems to be thinking about it, but it’s not even ten seconds later there seems to be a unanimous decision amongst the group. They’re all in for going in quietly.

Lexa seems to let out a small sigh of relief. “We’re going to need updated blueprints of the Ark,” she says.

Octavia moves from spot. “I can do that.” During her time in The Ark, she’s practiced a lot more than what Monty has taught her. She knows her way around the system, and knows how to get around the simple things. Getting blueprints is something she can do easily.

No one says anything when she takes on the job. Instead, Lexa throws her a set of keys and tells her to take the bike in the garage. Lexa reassures her that Clarke won’t be a problem, but Anya still offers to go with her because of Bellamy. But Octavia declines the offer. Anya will be more useful with Lexa, Lincoln and Luna in coming up with the rest of the plan.

“Need backup?” Lincoln offers as well.

Octavia scoffs playfully. “Let me show you what a rookie can do.”

 

* * *

 

Octavia leaves and Lexa still feels a little uneasy about it all. Clarke might be on their side now, but Bellamy still knows something is up and she doesn’t know how he’ll react to seeing his sister in The Ark again. And if he catches on that Octavia is doing another job for her, that probably won’t end too well. But trust is a two-way street, so if Octavia says that she’s got it covered then Lexa believes her.

So once Octavia is gone, she makes her way over to the table, grabs some butchers paper and a couple of markers. Anya, Lincoln and Luna come over as well and she gets Anya to start drawing a rough layout of The Ark. Having a general picture of the place will help them get started.

Their initial plan involves Lexa going through the pipes again. Anya is immediately against it, saying that she isn’t in any condition to be going in – but Lexa is the only option at this point. Anya’s meant to be going to Canada, Octavia is needed on the inside and Lincoln and Luna are both a little too big to fit their way through the pipes (plus, it took Lexa _years_ to learn the pipes and they won’t be able to remember enough before they need to).

“I’ll be fine,” Lexa assures. Of course she’s still feeling like shit, but at this point the pain is manageable. She’s kept off her feet for most of the day, which has been the first in a very long time. And plus, if everything goes their way she should be in and out in no time.

“I still don’t like this,” Anya argues.

Luna nods along. “I would have to agree.”

“I know,” Lexa sighs. “But there isn’t much else we can do. I’ll go through the pipes while Octavia sets up C4 _here,_ ” Lexa points to one of the rooms on Anya’s map, “ _Here, here and here.”_

“Where do the pipes lead you to?” Lincoln asks.

“Armoury.” Lexa moves back to grab her phone, sending a quick message to the other person who they need for this plan – Becca. “I’ll have Octavia let me in, I’ll go into the main control room and then let Becca into the system.”

“Will she be able to get in though?” Luna asks. “I hear this Monty is pretty good.”

Lexa nods. “He is good. But she’s got her ways.”

“There’s an explosives class going on at that time,” Anya chimes in. “We can use that. Trigger an alarm, evacuate part of the facility to get you through to Jaha’s office.” Anya points to a few spots on the map, “Octavia will need to handle the cameras here, here and here.”

“What about the safe the box is in?” Lincoln asks.

“Becca should be able to crack it,” Anya replies.

“And if she can’t?”

Lexa shakes her head. “She will.”

Luna rolls her eyes slightly. “So we’re pinning this entire plan on the _possibility_ that Becca will be able to crack the code to Jaha’s safe?”

_“I will be able to crack it.”_

Lexa turns to door, and Lincoln, Anya and Luna all go for their weapons. Becca stands there, carrying a metal suitcase of some sorts. “That was quick,” Lexa says. She turns back to the other three, “Put those away.”

Becca steps up to the table. “I will be able to get into the safe,” she repeats. “What’s the plan?”

So they take a couple of minutes to catch Becca up on the plan. It isn’t a lot, and she is also initially against the idea of sending Lexa in. But Becca concedes defeat soon enough after realising that there isn’t anyone else who can take Lexa's place.

A lot of this rests on Becca’s abilities. Lexa knows that Anya, Lincoln and Luna are still a little sceptical about Becca’s whole role in this. But they haven’t been working this with her like she has for the last couple of years. If Becca says she can handle The Ark's system, then Lexa believes her. 

“And I’ll just leave the same way I came in,” Lexa explains.

“What about the C4 Octavia plants?” Becca asks. “Are you just going to leave it there?”

Lexa nods. “Octavia is good at hiding things, she’s beaten me a couple of times. It might come in handy in the future.”

They soon come to a general consensus about the about their initial plan. They will go over it again once Octavia is back with the blueprints, but for now they’ve got something they can work with.

“What’s in your suitcase?” Lexa asks.

Becca lifts the case onto the table, lying it flat and opening it swiftly. Lexa doesn’t have any idea what could be in the box, but as the clicks echo through the room she instantly gains this very heavy feeling.

“I was already on my way over here to see Octavia,” Becca explains. “I was just at Darren’s.”

“Octavia’s chip…” Lexa whispers.

“Who’s Darren?” Anya asks.

Becca flips open the case and pulls out some sort of… gadget. “Darren use to work for the company that created the new Ark chips,” Becca explains. “He owed me a favour, so he created _this,”_ she holds up the gadget.

“And what is that?” Lexa asks.

“And EMP. Or an electromagnetic pulse,” Becca replies. “It should deactivate the chip without killing Octavia.”

Becca goes on to explain the science behind and Lexa manages to follow for the most of it. The gadget looks like a big gun, a prototype for something you see in a sci-fi movie. Becca stresses that it is an experimental gadget. Darren’s tested it with an 90% success rate and while the odds are good, it's that 10% everyone ends up focusing on. 

“When is she supposed to be back?” Becca asks.

“Later tonight.”

Becca nods. “Well it’ll be her choice and I’ll tell her what I just told you guys.” She then turns to Lincoln and Luna, “Can I take a sample of your _Red?_ I know someone who will be able to help you guys with that.”

Lincoln and Luna step around towards their bags, giving Becca and equal amount for her to take. They gather around their table and further discuss the plan of theirs.

 

* * *

 

Clarke watches as Raven drives off and it surprises her. She did just drop a major bombshell but she’s never seen her friend react like this – to any type of news. Part of her is hurt, but another part of her knows that she doesn’t deserve to be. This is new territory for them all. She can only hope that it doesn’t deter their whole relationship.

She hails a taxi within the minute and gets back to her place without any hassle. She really has to be smart with her next move. Her cover within the Ark is still (relatively) safe and that definitely will be useful moving forward. But she also needs to prove herself to the other guys. She knows she doesn't have to worry about Lexa, but even by their short encounter earlier in the day, Lincoln and Luna are still be on the fence about her.

Once back at her apartment, Clarke packs a getaway bag as a backup plan. She’ll stay within The Ark for now, but this bag is just in case she needs a quick escape. It isn’t a lot – a couple of spare clothes, the keys to an unregistered car, a couple of (non-Ark) weapons and about ten grand in cash.

After her bag is packed and hidden away, Clarke grabs her first aid kit, a bottle of alcohol, some bowls and settles in her living room. She pulls her shirt over her head and leans back into the couch, trailing her fingers across the faint scar on her hip bone, where her tracker was implanted.

When the new chips were introduced, the only agents who didn’t get them were directors and Alpha team. Higher ups were comfortable enough for Alpha team to remain on the old trackers, a sign on trust and respect in a time that was a little difficult for them all.

The old trackers are nowhere near as advanced as the new ones – but they do the job they’re meant to do. Now, the thing about the old ones is that they’re (relatively) easy to clone, but she just can’t clone her signal for the rest of her life. Clarke needs to actually get it out of her. And because it is an older model, taking the tracker doesn't mean deactivating it. It can still fully function out of her body.

All she’s got to do is cut into herself and take it out. Simply enough, right?

Clarke takes a shot to ease herself. It does help, slightly, so she starts to clean what she needs. Her first aid kit is a little more advanced than your general kit. She’s got a scalpel, pincers and a suture kit ready to go. Her heart is beating out of her chest at this point, but there isn’t anything she can do to ease her mind.

She knows that this is right, but it’s still a fair lot to stomach. Clarke cleans the area of her hip with the alcohol and takes a few deep breaths before grabbing the scalpel. But as she presses the blade against her skin, her phone rings. Clarke lets out a long, exasperated sigh when she sees who it is.

_MUM CALLING_

Clarke lets the phone ring out. The last thing she’s going to do is bring her mum into this. She thinks about it for a little longer, on whether or not her mother would approve of this move Clarke’s making. Though, “approve” is probably the wrong word for it. No mother wants to see their daughter go against an agency of assassins.

But this is the world they live.

Clarke doesn’t pick up the second time her mum calls. She listens to the tone play throughout the room, silently hoping that her mother forgives her for this – that she’ll even see her mother at the end of all this.

If the phone rings for a third time, she’ll pick it up. But it never comes and the silence in the room becomes _thick._ Clarke closes her eyes and takes another few deep breaths. She counts to ten, picks up the scalpel and cuts into her hip.

 

* * *

 

Octavia gets the blueprints without any problems. Well there was the slight problem of almost running into Bellamy, but she quickly managed to dodge that one. When she’s back at the safe house, she sees a familiar (but not so familiar) face with Lexa, Anya, Lincoln and Luna. At first all she sees is Alie, but the way Becca dresses and her overall presence is nothing like her sister’s.

She walks into the room cautiously, keeping her eyes on Becca – but occasionally looking over to Lexa.

“Octavia,” Becca greets in a whispers. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

Octavia nods. “Yeah, likewise.” She walks over to the table and lays out the blueprints for everyone, “I’ve thought about it a lot, and I think we should take the F corridor towards Jaha’s office,” she continues. She doesn’t feel like there’s a need for introductions between Becca and herself. Becca undoubtedly knows everything about her already, and Octavia knows enough about Becca to move forward.

Everyone makes their way around the table and listens to her plan. She’s come up with a few potential routes to take around The Ark. Anya marks where the cameras are and which ones are easiest to avoid. Octavia talks about how and which guards patrol which areas, and offers a few backup routes just in case. It’s better to be over prepared then under. And it’s definitely better to have one coherent plan that to have one that’s constantly changing (for example: when they were at Ice Nation).

They get a good way with their plan; Octavia knows where she’s meant to plant the C4, Lexa has a few routes from the armoury to the main network room (where she’ll plug a USB into the system which will allow Becca in), then Lexa will work her way through to Jaha’s office, Becca will crack into the safe and set an alarm off in the explosives class so that Lexa can escape once again.

“Good job, Octavia,” Lexa says.

Octavia smiles and nods.

“Lexa,” Becca breathes.

Octavia watches as Lexa and Becca share a long moment and she doesn’t really know what to make of it. Something about Lexa changes, her shoulders drop slightly and everything about her turns a little softer _._ “Lexa?” Octavia asks, “What’s wrong?”

“Becca has brought a device that _could_ deactivate your chip,” Lexa answers.

It’s takes Octavia a moment to realise what’s been said. Sure the tracker is always in the back of her mind, but knowing that they have a way out now, she doesn’t really know what to think. “When do I…” she trails off.

“That’s up to you,” Lexa replies. “We clone your signal, deactivate the tracker and move forward.”

Becca steps forward, “But the key word is _could_ deactivate, Octavia.”

Octavia nods. She knows, she did pick up on Lexa’s emphasis on the word. However, they wouldn’t be proposing this if they didn’t think it could work. Sure, there’s a possibility that it could go terribly wrong, but it’s the same argument for everything they do while trying to take down The Ark.

“Give us a minute?” Lexa asks Becca.

“Sure.”

Octavia follows Lexa out of the room and up towards the roof. It’s a cold night, and she’s shivering the moment she steps outside. The walk up to the edge of the roof, looking out to the city lights before them.

“I _could_ die trying to take out the chip,” Octavia whispers, “Or I _will_ die when Jaha finds out.”

“You’re right.”

“Then what are we doing?”

Lexa takes a moment before replying. “We have two more boxes to destroy,” she says, “We’re almost at the end.”

“We’ve come a long way,” Octavia replies.

“We have.”

“I’ve learnt a lot from you, Lexa.”

Lexa smiles. “And I, from you.”

They stand in silence for a little longer. Octavia thinks that there isn’t much that needs to be said between them at this point. They’ve been working together long enough to know that sometimes all they need a quiet moment together to move forward.

“You don’t think it’s the right time to deactivate my chip, do you?” Octavia asks.

Lexa shrugs slightly. “There’s never going to be a right time.” She pauses. “I want that thing out of you but–”

“–But if we do it now and something goes wrong…” Octavia trails off.

“–We won’t be able to get into The Ark,” Lexa finishes.

Octavia hums in response. “I can wait.”

Lexa turns to face Octavia, “Are you sure? Because if you want to deactivate it tonight, we can. If something goes wrong, we’ll figure out another plan.”

Octavia shakes her head. “We don’t have time to come up with a new one. We stick to the one we have now, and we go through it like any other Ark mission.” She stands up and takes a few steps around, “We go through this plan with a fine tooth comb. We can’t have what happened at Ice Nation happen again.”

“You’re right,” Lexa replies.

“I can wait,” Octavia whispers again. “The Ark isn’t on my tail yet and the first instance they are, we can deactivate the chip.”

Lexa nods in agreement. “This is your call.”

‘I know.” It’s another moment of silence between them. “Lexa, can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“Clarke–”

“–Is on our side now,” Lexa cuts in.

Octavia’s eyes widen. Part of her is surprised, the other part of her isn’t. She had seen Clarke earlier in the day (when she was in medical with Aden) and there was definitely something different in the air between them. But she didn’t know what it was, so she just let it be until she could ask Lexa about it.

“She came back here last night,” Lexa explains, “After you and Anya left.”

Octavia nods. “Do you trust her?”

“I do.”

“Then okay,” Octavia replies. It isn’t her business what they talked about or what they did, but it is her business if Clarke’s in this too. She needs to know who she can trust and who will have her back as they move forward.

 

* * *

 

Later that night, it’s just Lexa and Anya in the safe house. Lincoln’s taken Octavia home for the night and Luna’s gone to see if she can get her hands on a few more weapons for them. Becca went off a while ago as well, saying that she’s going to get the sample of _Red_ to her contact.

They’re gathering all the weapons they currently have and doing a stock take of some sorts. They need to make sure they’re all still working and that they have enough ammo to get them through the plan. Of course, the plan is to go in quietly – but they need to be prepared for every outcome.

On the table, they have two snipers, 4 AMT Backups, 4 Glock 17's, 4 Glock 26's, a Walther P99, 3 Zoraki 925's, a Smith revolver 629, 2 FN P90's, a couple of tasers, knives and surprisingly, enough ammo to last them for a while.

Lexa picks up one of the Glocks and gets into the process dismantling it – Anya does the same. She’s been waiting the entire day to get a moment alone with Anya. They work in silence for the time being, and Lexa is just working up the strength to telling Anya about Clarke. Anya is one of the very few people who she gets around. It's probably because they have such a strong bond. But everyone in this needs to and deserve to know who they’re fighting alongside with.

“Anya…” 

Anya doesn’t look up from cleaning her weapon. “If this is about Clarke, then I already know.”

“What?" Lexa asks. "How?”

Anya looks up but still manages to remain on the task at hand. “How long have I known you for? Known Clarke for?”

“A long time…” Lexa whispers.

“Exactly,” Anya nods. “I’ve known the both of you for years and I know when something changes between you guys.” She reassembles her weapon and places it on the table. “I know how to read people. There was a subtle change in Clarke at The Ark today so I just assumed that something happened between the two of you last night.”

Lexa places the dismantled gun on the table, “I trust her.”

“I know you do,” Anya replies.

“Do you trust her?”

Anya pauses for the moment before picking up another weapon to clean. “I do,” she whispers. “I trust her so I’m good.” She pauses. “We’re going to need to talk about taking our trackers out soon. I’m sick of having to clone it every time I move.”

Lexa nods and offers a small smile. “Just let me know when, I know which episode of Grey’s Anatomy I need to re-watch before cutting into your hip.” They both share the smallest chuckle before Lexa speaks up again, “Have you had a chance to talk to Raven?”

Anya shakes her head.

“I’m sorry that I had to drag her into this,” Lexa says.

“I know,” Anya replies. “You don’t need to apologise. Just make sure it wasn't for nothing."

“She’s stubborn as hell, but she’ll come around.”

Anya nods. “Yeah, let’s hope.”

They go through cleaning the rest of their weapons in almost silence. Occasionally Anya would ask Lexa about her wounds, or they’d ask for some cleaning equipment or just a simple remark about the weapon they were currently handling. By the end of it they decide that what they have is just enough, but they’ll welcome whatever Luna can bring to the table.

As they’re packing away the guns, a soft knock comes from the door. Anya’s automatic reaction is to grab a gun and make her way to see who it is. Lexa grabs a gun too and follows.

“ _Lex… it’s me.”_

When they hear it’s Clarke, Anya retreats her gun and returns back to the table, grabbing Lexa's gun along the way. Lexa takes a couple of deep breaths before opening the door. “Hey,” she smiles.

“Hey,” Clarke replies.

Lexa steps aside and lets Clarke in. Anya comes back around with her bag and keys in hand, “Clarke,” she greets with a small nod. She then turns to Lexa, “I’ll give you a call tomorrow.”

“Okay,” Lexa whispers. She walks back to the door and opens it for Anya. With one final goodbye, she’s locking it and turning back to Clarke.

Clarke looks a little better than the day before, but there’s still a certain sadness… or tiredness that seems to surround the woman. But Lexa understands, she feels it too – in fact she’s been feeling it since the day this all started.

“Is she mad at me?” Clarke asks.

Lexa shakes her head. “It’s just been a long day.”

“Are you sure? She seems mad.”

“I promise,” Lexa replies. She steps forward and pulls Clarke in for a hug. She wraps her arms around the woman the best she can, and mumbles quiet nothings into the blonde curls that fall around her. There’s an unexplainable calmness that washes over her in this moment, it’s not a new feeling though. It’s a feeling she’s use to know quite well when they worked together in The Ark.

Lexa pulls away from the hug first, trailing her fingers at either side of Clarke’s face. “How are you doing?”

Clarke offers a small, sad smile. “I don’t know how to answer that.”

“That’s okay,” Lexa reassures. She pulls Clarke in for another hug, but it seems to take the woman by surprise so Clarke flinches slightly. “Are you okay?” Lexa asks, taking a small step back.

Clarke nods. “Yeah.”

“Clarke…” Lexa whispers.

Clarke lets out a small sigh and lifts her shirt up slightly. Lexa’s eyes advert down to the white bandage that covers Clarke’s hip bone, and it takes her a moment to register what it must be.

“I took out my tracker,” Clarke says.

Lexa’s gasps slightly and starts to pull Clarke towards the couch. Carefully, she guides Clarke to lie down, silently asking for permission to lift the shirt one more time.

“I’m fine,” Clarke says. But she lifts her shirt anyways, slowly peeling off the white bandage too.

“Why?” Lexa asks. She runs back to grab her first aid kit, and returns moments later.

“I wanted to prove that I’m in this.”

“You didn’t have to cut out your tracker, Clarke,” Lexa replies. “I trust you.”

“I know you do. But Lincoln, Luna, Octavia, _Anya…_ they don’t know me like you do,” Clarke argues.

Lexa carefully inspects the fresh scar. From what she can tell, Clarke did a good job with it, a much better job than when she cut out her own tracker. But to be fair, Lexa had to cut hers out in the middle of the forest so that she could destroy the thing immediately.

Lexa applies a little more lotion on the scar, “Your tracker is still functioning?”

Clarke nods. “I’ll keep it for now.”

“You didn’t have to do this,” Lexa says again.

“I know.” Clarke helps close the bandage over the scar once again, and pulls down her shirt. With a little bit of a struggle, she sits back up and pulls Lexa to sit next to her. “I wanted to,” Clarke whispers.

Lexa makes herself comfortable next to Clarke. They stare ahead into nothing for a while and Lexa lets herself feel as if it’s _just_ them again. She knows that they’re still in a world of trouble, and that they still have some way to go but she needs just another moment to let it all catch up to her.

“I told Raven,” Clarke whispers eventually.

Lexa turns to Clarke, “How did that go?”

“As expected,” Clarke sighs. “She’s not returning any of my calls.”

“I’m sorry,” Lexa whispers.

Clarke shakes her head, “Don’t be. This isn’t your fault.”

“It is.”

“It’s not.”

Lexa lets out a small huff, she knows that she can go back and forth for a long time. But at this point it’s just a waste of breath. She’s apologised time and time again for hurting the people she cares about, but she’s got to remember the bigger picture. She’s got to remember why she started this in the first place.

“Raven will come around eventually,” Clarke whispers.

“Do you really think so?”

“Yeah, I do.” Clarke pauses. “I don’t know how much of Raven you’ve seen, but since you’ve been back she’s been… different. We all have.”

“Different good? Or different bad?” Lexa asks.

“Different… _different,”_ Clarke answers.

Lexa scrunches her face slightly; she doesn’t really know what Clarke means by ‘different different’. She’s hates it when people repeats the word for some sort of emphasis. Like when people ask if something is _fancy_ or _fancy-fancy_? Or if something is _spicy_ or _spicy-spicy?_ She just feels like it’s an unneeded extremity.

“It’s not a bad thing,” Clarke reassures.

“But it’s not a good thing either.”

Clarke shrugs. “It’s just… different. You doing this has shone a light on the dark side of The Ark. Everyone is talking and I know for a fact that a few agents on the inside would jump onto your side if they had a chance.”

“Really?” Lexa asks.

“Yeah,” Clarke replies. “But you know how it is. Right now, everyone thinks they’re safe within The Ark. They probably won’t jump ship.”

“I know. I just didn’t expect to hear that.”

“Hear that people on the inside agree with you?” Clarke asks.

“Yeah,” Lexa nods. “All I’ve done is rattle the Ark since I’ve been back. Not exactly something I thought people would like.”

Clarke shakes her head. “Not everyone is blind to what The Ark is and what they do. You’re standing up for what you believe in. Those people in The Ark… they look up to you and they’re silently hoping that you come out on top.”

“I’m not exactly the best role model,” Lexa argues.

“For us you are.”

Lexa turns to Clarke, who’s look at her with so much adoration. It’s a look she never thought she’d ever get to see again. Lexa sees that sparkle in Clarke’s eyes, the one she fell in love with all those years ago. It’s the sparkle, the look that reassures her that she isn’t out of her depth here.

Clarke brings her finger tips of Lexa’s chin and guides them closer. “We need you,” Clarke whispers. “ _I_ need you.”

“I need you too,” Lexa whispers. Their lips ghost over each other for a moment before the distance between them doesn’t exist anymore. It’s a soft kiss, tender, a kiss that seems to slow everything around them. Lexa carefully cradles either side of Clarke face, keeping her close so that the kiss doesn’t end too soon.

The kiss does eventually end, but Clarke keeps their foreheads against each other. “What’s the plan?” she whispers. “I assume that Anya’s told you where Jaha’s sending us.”

“Yeah,” Lexa replies. She takes a moment to catch her breath, because they’re now back to reality. Lexa sits up a little straighter and goes on to explain what they’ve come up with. Clarke seems to agree that going into The Ark is the best move, and going in quietly seems to have her approval as well. But they’re going to go over it thoroughly tomorrow with the updated blueprints of The Ark.

Lexa also tells Clarke about Becca’s EMP device. Clarke offers her opinion, saying that Octavia should keep the tracker in for now. She’s still seen to be a loyal agent, and having that tracker will allow them to follow her if she’s suddenly called into another mission.

And by telling Clarke this, Lexa accidently tells Clarke about Becca. It definitely takes Clarke by surprise, considering that’s _another_ person that’s meant to be dead. Lexa tells Clarke the parts of their story that’s important for the time being and she can tell Clarke is in shock (to say the least).

They also talk a little more about Anya. Clarke worries that Anya is mad or pissed off at her, (or maybe even a bit of both) but Lexa reassures her that it’s not the case. Anya is just Anya. If she wasn’t okay with working alongside Clarke, she would make it known. Like the rest of them, Anya just wants all this to be over.

“What happens when this is all over?” Clarke asks.

Lexa closes her eyes and leans back into the couch. “I don’t know,” she breathes. “I can’t think that far.” She hasn't let herself think that far, because in all honesty, Lexa doesn’t know if she’ll make it out of this alive. She came into this knowing very well that it might take everything she’s got. She can’t be naïve to the risks that she faces every day they go on with this.

But now that she’s sitting here with Clarke, she wants nothing more than to think about the possibility of a future. Lexa knows that she can never have a “normal” life. But if she can have one that doesn’t involve missions, hired hits, guns or anything in the realms of The Ark world, she’ll be happy. She would consider it a perfect life if Clarke was standing with her.

Lexa feels Clarke reach for her hand. “Maybe someday… we’ll get our chance,” Clarke whispers.

Lexa offers a small smile. “I hope so.”

 

* * *

 

Clarke wakes up feeling sad. It’s hard to explain it further but she just feels _sad –_ like there is this emptiness or void within her that she doesn’t know how to fill. Lexa sleeps against her chest, and she wishes that she could say that she’s sleeping peacefully. But it’s obviously far from it. Lexa is tense and rigid against her, there’s this slight frown and everything about her just screams that she’s still pretty restless.

But Clarke just pulls her in a little closer, Lexa needs as much as sleep as she can get at this point. Holding Lexa like this is bittersweet. She’s back with the person she loves, but this war they’re in is going to take so much more from them all. It’s the be all of end all missions and their fight is far from over. 

About ten minutes later, Clarke manages to peel herself away from Lexa without waking her up. She places the softest kiss on Lexa’s temple before heading into the bathroom. Once she’s done there, she walks towards the common area of the safe house – the “living room/kitchen” of the place. It’s a nice place for a safe house, a _smart_ place for one. But Clarke wouldn’t expect anything less from Lexa.

She walks around the area, taking in how everything is set up. There’s a table with a couple of computers running, a section of the room has been cornered off to hold the weapons they have, random couches and chairs here and there and there’s even a small area (seemingly) dedicated to working out/training.

“ _Coffee?”_

Clarke nearly jumps at the sound of Anya’s voice. She absolutely hates it when Anya comes out of nowhere like that, but it’s a pretty good skill to have as an agent.

“First skill of being an agent: always be aware of your surroundings," Anya says.

Clarke rolls her eyes slightly. “I’m not an agent before 6am,” she jokes. “Or before coffee.” She walks towards the kitchen where Anya pours her a cup. “Thanks,” Clarke says.

“Is she still asleep?”

Clarke nods before blowing the steam over her mug.

“Good. God only knows how much she’s slept this past week.”

Clarke hums in response and is surprised at how easy it seems to be between them. She honestly thought it would take a little more for Anya to warm up to the idea that they’re fighting on the same side.  

“This doesn’t have to be weird,” Anya says. “We want the same things, Clarke.”

Clarke nods but remains quiet.

“We both care about Lexa,” Anya continues.

“We do.”

“Then _this_ doesn’t have to be weird,” Anya repeats. “We know we can work together, as long as I can still count on you to have my back out there, then we’re good.”

Clarke offers her hand and Anya extends hers so that they can grip each other’s forearms. Nothing else is said between them, nothing else _needs_ to be said between them. Like Anya said, they both want the same things and they can trust each other out in this fight.

“Have you told Raven?” Anya asks.

Clarke nods, “I did, yesterday. She kicked me out of the car.”

Anya laughs but quickly stops herself.

“She’ll come around,” Clarke whispers. Silence falls between them for the time being and while they both care for Raven, they both have different relationships with the woman. But Clarke and Anya seem to both silently agree that they won’t talk about Raven anymore – but if they need it, they’re there for each other.

They finish their coffee in silence. Occasionally there’s a quiet hum of the pipes in the building, a truck driving past or even just pigeons out on the window sill. Clarke’s since turned to stare into the empty room, thinking about the plan Lexa told her the night before.

Eventually, Clarke is watching Anya make her away around to the padded floor. She sighs internally, knowing very well what’s about to happen. It’s barely 6am and she’s about to get into a (controlled) fight with Anya.

“Glove up, Griffin,” Anya says, grabbing the gloves and throwing them towards her.

Clarke finishes her coffee and does as she’s told. Anya’s someone who always needs to be doing something. She doesn’t need to be teaching classes, but she volunteers her time anyways. Like herself, Anya wants to make sure that recruits are taught everything they need to survive as an agent.

Clarke tightens the grips around the gloves and steps into the middle of padded flooring. “I hate you,” she whispers.

Anya laughs. “I know.”

Clarke takes a deep breath before raising her left glove. Anya taps their gloves together and they’re off.

Anya’s on the attack immediately, but Clarke is quick to dodge her move. Anya is arguably the best agent of them all and Clarke knows that she isn’t going to win. But she knows she can put up a good fight, at least give Anya a run for her money.

Clarke manages to dodge all the attacks for now. It’s all moves she’s seen before and knows herself, but Anya’s got a stamina that’s impossible to beat. But eventually, Clarke finds a small window to gain the upper hand. Clarke throws a combination of hits that throw Anya off her footing just slightly. But it’s enough to give her the advantage for the time being.

Clarke hits and Anya punches back. That’s how it goes for the next couple of minutes.

Anya changes things up by taking two dramatic steps back, causing Clarke to stop momentarily.

“One hand,” Anya smirks as she places one of her hands behind her back. Without any more of a warning, she lunges forward and she’s on the attack with just her right hand. Anya is quick, throws calculated hits and Clarke hates to admit it but she struggles to keep up.

Stupidly, Clarke forgets that she took out her tracker the day before and is painfully reminded when Anya hits a little too close to her fresh scar. Clarke staggers towards the window, “I’m out,” she huffs.

“You okay?”

Clarke holds up her glove, asking for just a minute. She catches her breath before she removes her gloves. Part of her doesn’t want to check, but she knows she has to. She lifts up her shirt and surely enough, blood starts to seep through the bandage.

Anya steps closer, throwing her gloves to the side as well. “What the hell happened?” she asks.

“ _Clarke! What happened?”_

Both Clarke and Anya turn to see Lexa stepping towards them. “I’m fine,” Clarke tells Lexa.

“You’re bleeding,” Lexa points out. She pulls Clarke towards one of the couches and moves back to where she left the first aid kit the night before. “Anya, you should know better than to fight someone who _just_ took out their tracker.”

Anya turns to Clarke, “You took out your tracker?!”

“You didn’t tell her?!” Lexa yells.

“I’m fine,” Clarke repeats. She looks to Anya, “Yes, I took out my tracker. I just forgot when we gloved up.”

“Roll up your shirt,” Anya instructs.

Clarke sighs but she knows that with both Lexa and Anya on her, she won’t win. So she leans back into the couch and rolls up her shirt. She keeps her breathing steady as Anya and Lexa carefully peel away her bandage. Thankfully, the damage isn’t anything serious and Lexa fixes it in a matter of no time.

 

* * *

 

By noon, Octavia is back at Lexa’s and they’re going over the plan again. She caught up with Anya and Clarke momentarily, but they had to head back into The Ark. Learning that Clarke took out her tracker is definitely a surprise, but a welcomed one at least. It’s a massive step into trusting that Clarke is in this fight with them. It also triggers her own thoughts about her own tracker. But she has to push it aside to move on with what they need to do.

Octavia takes the lead in going over the plan again. The first thing she talks about is a new set up for the C4 she's meant to plant. Lexa, Lincoln and Luna all seem to be on board with the idea and praise her for her smart thinking. Though she’s played (probably) the biggest role in all of this, it still helps to know that she is a valuable member of the team.

Before she’s meant to leave for The Ark, Lincoln comes up to her and offers one of the new hand-guns Luna managed to buy overnight. “Just in case,” he says.

Octavia takes the weapon and inspects it. It’s a smaller piece, one hat she’ll be able to conceal a little easier than the ones The Ark gives her. “Thanks.”

“I was wrong about you.”

Octavia raises her eyebrow. “Am I officially not a _rookie_ anymore?”

Lincoln shakes his head. “Still a rookie. But you’ve proven yourself, Octavia.”

“Don’t jinx it yet,” Octavia replies. She packs the rest of her bag, “We still have to actually execute this plan.”

“I’m not just talking about this plan,” he says.

Octavia stops for the time being and looks up to Lincoln.

“When Lexa told me that her inside person was a recruit, I had my concerns,” he explains. “Obviously, I didn’t say anything because I trust Lexa but I just didn’t think anyone _but_ Lexa could get something like this past The Ark.”

“I didn’t do it alone,” Octavia points out.

Lincoln smiles. “I know. You and Lexa are quite the team. But take the credit, Octavia, you deserve it.”

Octavia zips up her bag and slings it over her shoulder. “Thanks Lincoln,” she smiles.

Lincoln nods and throws her the car keys. “Good luck.”

 

Octavia leaves the safe house shortly after. Obviously C4 is inventoried within The Ark, so she’s going to be bringing some of her own in. It’s a big risk but there isn’t any way at this point. To help, Luna managed to buy a backpack that's lined with a material that will hide the C4 from the initial security to get inside The Ark.

While she was at Lexa’s, they ran through a few test runs and they were all successful. She’s obviously still nervous as hell about carrying it into The Ark, but she needs to focus her attention on the rest of the plan. Getting the C4 in is easy enough (hopefully) but now it’s about making sure no one catches on to what she’ll be doing.

She bypasses Ark security without any problems. Thankfully, the guards don’t take any notice to any differences and simply act like it’s any other day. She might be in, but she’s still nervous and anxious like anything – and it doesn’t help that she gets called into a quick conversation with Assistant Director Kane about how well she’s doing _._

But once she’s out of the conversation with Kane, she heads into the agent’s locker room. It just so happens that her locker is just out of sight from the cameras, which will make hiding the C4 a little easier. On her way down she makes a couple of pit stops, leaving a few blocks of C4 in vents and pipes so she can come back to them later.

There isn’t any need to rush this because she’s got all day to plant the C4. They have one shot at this and they can’t afford to screw up so early in the plan. She’s got the one meeting a little later in the day, which is most likely for a new mission she’s been assigned to.

 

Octavia manages to set up two of the seven C4 locations they’ve planned out before taking a break. They’ve chosen locations that will _hopefully_ not hurt anyone, but that isn’t something they can particularly control. The locations they’ve set up are more for triggering the most alarms and causing the most distraction. Again, this is there back up plan – their first plan is to get in and get out before anyone realises.

As she’s walking her way back towards the training floor, she sees Bellamy in the distance. Without a second thought, she back tracks her way until he’s out of sight again. But this causes her to bump into someone.

“ _Aden_ ,” she breathes, “Sorry, I didn’t see you there.”

“That’s hard to believe.”

Octavia pauses and sighs a little. “I’m avoiding my brother,” she reveals. There is a certain trust that she has with Aden, something that they’ve built on in the time they’ve known each other. Octavia looks to Aden like a younger brother (one that she’s failing quite terribly right now).

“Why?”

Octavia shrugs. “ _This_ place gives you a lot to think about.”

“You can say that again.” Aden pauses abruptly and Octavia can feel someone approaching them.

“ _Octavia_ ,” Bellamy calls. “Can I talk to you?”

Aden speaks up first. “Sorry, Guard Blake. I was actually called to get Agent Blake for Agent Carson.”

Octavia silently thanks Aden for the rescue before turning to Bellamy. “Got to go.”

“Octavia–”

Octavia starts to walk away with Aden, “Got to go,” she repeats, “Can’t keep Anya waiting now!”

Thankfully, Bellamy doesn’t chase after them. Her brother is slowly becoming that annoying itch on her back that she can’t get rid of. Maybe that comparison is a little harsh... Octavia doesn’t want to get rid of Bellamy – she just wants to not worry about whether or not he’s going to make a move against her.

“I’ve got to get to class,” Aden says.

“Now? Aren’t you usually free this time of the week?”

Aden nods. “But with everything that happened yesterday with Alie… I missed my class. Indra said I could catch up with her today.”

“Oh,” Octavia replies, “Okay. I’ll see you around, Aden.”

“See you.”

Octavia continues on through The Ark. She talks to a few people here and there and makes herself seem like she’s busy working. Soon enough, she does find herself in a meeting with a few agents who she’s come to known during her time here. They aren’t the best, not as quick, not as precise but they still manage to get the job done. It’s a low level retrieval mission so at least it won’t take up too much of her time. 

 

* * *

 

Later that night, Lexa finds almost everyone back at her safe house. It’s a little crazy, watching all these people work _with_ her. Never would she have thought that this is where she’d end up with her plan. The only people she knew she could count on were Anya, Octavia and Becca. Now the number of people she can trust has doubled.

Though this is a great thing, it also means that she’s got more people to watch under her wing. Everyone here is more than capable of watching over themselves, but everyone here is here because of her. They’re all fighting this fight and they’re all looking to her to guide them through it.

“Heads up!” Luna calls out.

Lexa is quick to react, catching whatever thing is being thrown at her.

“Be careful with that,” Becca warns, “Otherwise you’ll be paying a grand for the new pieces.”

“These cost a grand?!” Luna asks.

Lexa laughs softly. “What’s this?”

“ _This_ ,” Becca continues, “Is an earpiece that will help me, help you through The Ark.”

Lexa raises her eyebrow. “It won’t interfere with the Ark’s system?”

“Nope.”

“Really?”

Becca nods. “I’m not letting you go in alone. Once you get me into the system; Luna and I will do everything we can do keep you safe from here.”

Lexa gives a small nod. She makes her way towards the table where the blueprints are laid out. Anya and Clarke stand closely by. Though they were going to be in Canada at the time, they’ve been a big help in refining this plan to the tee. “So I’m going to enter through the pipes, into the armoury,” she recounts, pointing to the relevant section of the blueprint.

“I’ll be there to let you in,” Octavia says, stepping up to the table as well. “We’ll get you into _these_ vents,” she points to map, “And you will make your way through to the main network room. You’ll be able to get into the room without any problems.”

“Cameras?” Lincoln asks.

“I’ll get a handle on those,” Becca answers. “Then we’ll trigger the alarms to clear a way to Jaha’s office.”

Lexa nods along. “I’ll make my way up to through 1 of 4 possible routes we’ve discussed.”

“You won’t know exactly which one you’ll need until you get there, will you?” Lincoln asks.

“Yeah,” Lexa replies. “But I’ll fine, as long as you’re there and ready in the getaway car.”

“You know it,” Lincoln laughs.

So the plan is that once Lexa is in Jaha’s office, she will have a device that will get her into the safe, she’ll get the box and get out of the office. She will make her way back to the armoury and through the pipes, but she’ll only have to run for about ten minutes before hitting a location where Lincoln will be waiting for her.

They go over it again and discuss other contingencies. Lexa feels a lot better with this plan than the one they had at Ice Nation. At Ice Nation, everything was a mess. There was no solid plan, no back-up plans, no thorough thinking and strategy and there were people who only knew half the story.

This time around though, they’re a united team. They’re all on the same page, working towards the same goal. They are some of the best agents The Ark’s trained, and it’s time to use that knowledge, power and skill for the better.

 

The night ends with everyone going their separate ways again, everyone besides Clarke. They’ve done all they can do and now it’s a matter of clearing minds and getting the rest they need before going through with the plan the following day.

Lexa locks up after saying goodbye to Anya, and makes her way towards Clarke. Clarke sits on the couch, sketching. It’s been years since she’s seen Clarke draw. But it’s a memory she holds onto quite dearly. There is a beautiful calmness in the way Clarke concentrates on what she’s doing. There’s a slight sparkle in her eye, a little smile she gets when she gets the line work just right.

“What are you drawing?” Lexa asks.

Clarke looks up from her sketchbook and grins. “You,” she smiles.

Lexa grins as well and takes a seat right next to Clarke. She looks over to the sketch and she’s amazed by what Clarke can do with pencil and some paper. There is just an unbelievable amount of talent there and it’s just one of the few things Lexa loves about her.

Eventually Clarke closes her sketchbook and cuddles a little closer to Lexa. Their arms are wrapped around each other, with both of them letting out a small sigh.

“Do you think that this will work?” Lexa asks.

“I think…” Clarke trails off, “If anyone can do this, it’s you.”

“I don’t like that you and Anya are still going to Canada,” Lexa whispers. It’s true. She hates that they’re still playing the loyal agent, along with Octavia – but she knows that it’s not as easy as just leaving The Ark.

Clarke kisses Lexa’s temple. “I know. But Anya’s got my back and I’ve got hers.”

Lexa turns to face Clarke and nods softly. She leans in and brushes their noses together, taking in the quiet moment they have. The distance between them closes and Lexa is kissing Clarke. Lexa cradles one side of Clarke’s face and she doesn’t know if she’ll never not be surprised that she gets to be with Clarke like this.

“When do you have to go?” Lexa asks.

“Not till morning. Our flight isn’t till 11am.”

“Stay with me tonight?”

Clarke nods. “I’d want nothing more.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this fic is (unfortunately) going on a hiatus :( 
> 
> it won't be long, a couple of weeks at most. i want nothing more than to be able to keep with the weekly updates, but i've got a lot going on right now so i just need some time to work though it all. but i will be back as soon as i can, i promise!
> 
> as always, thanks for reading and sticking around 
> 
> xx solina


	17. into the storm (part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lexa and her team move forward with their plan. will things work out or will they run into trouble?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm back! let's get right into it.
> 
> [in lexa's voice] previously on _even the best of us fall_
> 
>   * Ark agents plan to go to Canada to retrieve a black box
>   * Lexa + team decide that since the best agents will be out of the country, they will try and go steal Jaha's black box and they come up with a plan
>   * clarke cuts out her hip tracker and tells raven that she's now on lexa's side
>   * octavia has a way to deactivate her chip, but it's risky
>   * octavia manages to plant c4 around various parts of the ark as part of their plan
> 


Octavia gets a mere couple of hours of sleep. She thinks it’s probably the apartment, it feels _tainted._ She’s had enough of playing the loyal agent and she wants to hit them where it hurts (and now). But she can’t do that if they still think she’s on their side. But then  again, she knows that her role as an agent is vital and if they lose it, it’s going to make moving forward that much harder.

It’s just approaching 4:30am when she decides to get out of bed. The one thing that’s been on her mind all night is her chip. The moment Finn told her about it she knew that it wasn’t anything good (and something she wasn’t prepared for) but knowing that it’s also a kill chip makes it that much worse. She told Lexa that she could wait to take it out, but she’s already having second thoughts about it.

The whole thing has got her stomach in knots. When she got back to her apartment last night, she called Becca again. For about an hour, Becca went over the science behind the EMP device. Even though Becca tries to explain it in the most basic terms, not a lot of it registers. Well, maybe it does, but Octavia just doesn’t process the information like she usually does. By the end of the call she’s only more confused on what she should do.

Darren’s results are good – but they’re not perfect. And with Octavia feeling like this, she doesn’t know if she can go into The Ark with a live chip in her system. She’s just got a really bad feeling about it all. Her role in the plan has basically already been executed, she’s planted all the C4 and activating them can be done remotely. She’s more so in The Ark to help Lexa navigate her way through – but navigation has never been a problem for Lexa.

After freshening up and changing, Octavia grabs her phone and types a message out to Becca. Her finger hovers over “SEND” for a while, with Octavia biting her lip trying to decide if she’s making the right call.

She presses send.

 **Octavia Blake 4:43am**  
I want the tracker out  
Meet at Lexa’s?

 **Becca 4:44am  
** Ok

The quick response fazes her for a moment, but she lets it be. There’s still a lot about Becca she doesn’t know, but she doesn’t have the luxury to sit down and get to know the woman. Octavia looks around the dark apartment and lets out a long sigh. There’s this pang in her chest – one the tells her that while things are bad now, they’re only going to get worse before they get better.

But Octavia doesn’t dwell in the moment for much longer. She gets to packing everything she needs and everything that doesn’t belong to The Ark. She’s not coming back here.

Within half an hour her bag is packed and her apartment is as clean as it can be. She double checks everything, the last thing she needs is to accidently leave something behind that will help lead The Ark right to them.

 

* * *

 

Lexa wakes to the quiet rustling and chatting coming from outside her room. Clarke is still sleeping peacefully beside her, so Lexa places a soft kiss on the back of her head before carefully making her way out of bed. It’s an easy enough task – given that Clarke is a pretty deep sleeper. She grabs a jumper, puts it on and makes her way towards the chatter.

When she draws closer, the voices become familiar. Anya, Lincoln and Octavia all surround one of the tables with a cup of coffee each. It’s an odd sight at first mainly because for just a moment, everything _feels_ normal. But of course, that feeling never lasts very long.

“Morning,” Lincoln greets. “Coffee?”

Lexa shakes her head and makes her way towards the table. “It’s not even 6am yet,” she says as she takes a seat.

Lincoln laughs. “Yeah, and as Clarke would say, _exactly._ We don’t need to be anything before 6am,” he says.

“–Or before coffee,” Anya adds.

Lexa smiles and yawns. Today’s the day they’re going to go through with their plan. She’s nervous and she’s scared – and she lets it show (just for now though). It’s in the silence that the three in front of her can probably tell how she’s feeling. If everything goes to plan than that’s going to be great. However, so much can go wrong and she doesn’t know how she’s going to deal with any of the negative outcomes.

It’s a couple of minutes before Octavia turns to her, “Can I talk to you?” she asks.

“Of course,” Lexa nods. They make their way up towards the roof again and the cool, crisp air wakes Lexa right up. It’s a very foggy morning and even with the jumper, she’s almost shivering against the cold. They find some old chairs, and take a seat. It’s uncomfortable to say the least, but that’s not a new feeling for the either of them.

“Are you okay?” Lexa asks.

Octavia shakes her head. “I know last night I said that I could wait to take out my tracker... But it’s been on my mind since…”

Lexa doesn’t respond straight away, letting Octavia continue on with explaining what she’s feeling. It’s not a surprise, really. This is a big fucking decision to make and Lexa doesn’t know what she would do if she were in Octavia’s shoes.

“I know a lot can go wrong,” Octavia says, “But my gut instinct is telling me that I need to get it out of my system.”

Lexa nods. “Okay,” she whispers.

Octavia raises an eyebrow. “You’re okay with that?”

“I am,” Lexa replies. “I told you, this is your decision. Am I scared?” She pauses. “Of course I am. But I’m scared either way.”

Octavia hums in response. “I called Becca and told her already. She’ll be here soon.” She stretches her arms above her head and yawns. “Becca said that I shouldn’t be too affected to not go on with the plan.”

“Octavia, you don’t have to go into The Ark anymore.”

“No, I want to,” Octavia argues. “Becca said she can maintain the signal for now to make it look like nothing’s happened. You need someone on the inside, like actually on the inside and I’m the only person left.”

“So you still want to play the loyal agent?” Lexa asks cautiously.

“Just for today’s plan,” Octavia replies. “After today, I’m done with The Ark.”

Lexa nods and lets out a small sigh. She’s been with Octavia long enough to know that once she’s made her mind of something, it’s going to be very hard to try and convince her otherwise. But Octavia is her own person and she’s proven herself more than enough to Lexa.

They don’t spend much longer on the roof. They don’t even speak, it’s just another moment of silence and peace before the day starts.

 

When they head back inside, Lexa sees Becca and someone else. Anya and Lincoln don’t have their guns drawn so she knows that he’s no threat to them. Becca quickly introduces the man as Darren (the guy who use to work for the company that created the chips) and he’s here to help take out Octavia’s chip.

So the plan is for Becca to clone the signal, to keep it “alive” while Darren uses the EMP device on Octavia. He explains it like a jolt of electricity coursing through her body, one that is _most likely_ going to knock her out. But they have the equipment to manage her if that does end up happening.

While they’re setting up, Octavia finishes her coffee with Lincoln by her side. Anya stands by with Becca, watching and probably learning (Anya has the ability to pick things up pretty quickly). Clarke also wakes up during this time, and Lexa catches her up on what’s happening.

Lexa stays close, but let’s Becca and Darren do their thing. While she wants to do everything she can to help, this isn’t her speciality so she’s more likely to hinder than help at this point. Just as Octavia is taking her place of the couch, Luna makes an appearance and Clarke goes off to explain what’s about to happen.

Lexa walks over to Octavia and offers a small smile. Darren’s just hooking her up to a few machines. “Is it a stupid question to ask if you’re okay?” she asks.

“Yes,” Octavia replies softly. But she nods, “But this is the right move, I know it is.”

Lexa nods as well. “Alright.” She takes a step back, “We’re all right here, okay? We’re all here for you.”

Octavia looks around the room, and everyone responds with a slightly nod. Octavia turns back to Lexa and smiles. “Thank you, Lexa.”

Lexa then take a few more steps back until her back hits the wall. She watches as Darren finishes what he’s doing and he explains everything just one more time. Becca eventually comes closer with her laptop, taking a spot at the coffee table. “Ready when you are, Octavia.”

Octavia takes a deep breath. “I’m ready.”

Lexa’s heart at this point is beating out of her chest and she can’t even begin to imagine what Octavia is going through right now. Octavia sits side-ways on the couch and Darren stands just behind her, placing the EMP device at the base of her neck. He presses a few buttons and the entire room goes silent.

Lincoln comes to stand close enough to Octavia. He doesn’t say anything and Darren lets it be, just saying that he isn’t allowed to be in contact with Octavia during this. Lexa didn’t think it was possible, but the room falls even more silent after that. It’s the eerie silence, the one that usually happens before something bad is about to happen.

Octavia eyes close and Lexa can tell that she’s focusing on the breathing very intently. Darren seems to be ready, giving a small nod in Becca’s direction. “Okay, Octavia,” he says, “Ready?”

“Ready.”

“Would you like me to countdown?”

Octavia nods.

“Okay,” Darren whispers. He grips his fingers around the device, “Three… Two… One.” He presses the button and the sight still shocks Lexa, despite expecting it. Octavia’s body reacts exactly like it’s been shocked. She stills for a moment and Darren quickly hands the device to Lincoln so that he can help guide Octavia to lie on the couch comfortable.

“How’s the signal holding?” Lexa asks Becca.

Becca’s eyes remain on the screen, her fingers typing frantically away at the keyboard. “Tracker is good… maintaining now…” She looks over to Darren, “How’s our patient?”

Darren looks over to the machines that are connected to Octavia. “Everything looks good…” he whispers, “Vitals are good, no signs of any distress… The chip deactivated, right?”

Becca holds up her index finger, “Yes,” she eventually replies. “Chips deactivated.”

Lexa lets out a sigh of relief after that. Becca and Darren go back and forth for the next ten or so minutes, making sure that Octavia’s current state doesn’t change for the worse. They tell everyone that Octavia should be coming around very soon, considering that all the signs are exactly what they hoped they would be.

Clarke comes to stand beside her, leaning against the wall as well. “Octavia’s going to be alright.”

Lexa hums in response, but she doesn’t take her eyes off of Octavia. Lincoln sits beside her, holding her hand as Darren keeps monitoring her status. This going smoothly lifts a slight weight off of her shoulders. It’s one less thing she has to worry about and knowing that Octavia is relatively safer, definitely helps with Lexa’s state of mind.

Lexa lets out a small sigh, “When do you leave?”

“Now,” Clarke replies.

Lexa turns to Clarke, but she doesn’t say anything. Instead she takes Clarke’s hand in her own and pulls them to the bedroom so they can just have a moment before they have to go their separate ways.

Once in the room, Lexa’s arms are around Clarke. She knows that both Clarke and Anya still have a cover to maintain, but it doesn’t mean she doesn’t hate it. When Lexa feels Clarke pull her in a little tighter, she whispers, “Be safe.”

Clarke nods against the hug. “You too.”

Lexa moves back from the hug until her lips are ghosting over Clarke’s. They don’t tease for long, as Lexa is slowly closing the distance between them. There’s a silent promise between them that the kiss isn’t a kiss to say goodbye, but rather a kiss that says ‘I’ll see you soon.’

“I’ll call you when I can,” Clarke whispers as she pulls back

Lexa nods and they break away after that, with Clarke quickly changing and grabbing her duffel bag. Once they’re both back with everyone, Lexa walks over to Anya and gives her mentor a hug too. It definitely surprises Anya, but eventually she’s reciprocating it.

“You better be here when we get back,” Anya whispers, a slight smirk on her lips.

Lexa laughs and nods. “I’ll be okay.”

“Yeah, I know you’ll be.”

 

* * *

 

Lincoln remembers the day he was “promoted” to Reapear very clearly. It’s hard to forget a day where your life completely changes, _again_. Other than being put into The Ark to be a recruit, being pulled away from Alpha team will always be one of his worst experiences. At the time, Alpha team was Lincoln’s family and to go from having a family, to be living in almost isolation is a disheartening experience.

The life of a Reapear is not a pleasant one. His one role was to guard the black box and update it whenever Jaha told him to. That’s it. Anything that didn’t have to do with the black box was not something they needed to concern themselves with. And to make matters worse, Reapers were also on the drug _Red._ While he and Luna are still on it, they’ve been weening themselves off. The effects of them not taking it anymore is evident, but he’d rather lose some of his strength and focus than to stay on it.

It’s not a surprise that nearly all of the Reapers have rebelled against Jaha/The Ark. With the exception of Lexa, they’re probably the only ones with the capabilities to do so. It didn’t take Lexa long to get to him and to convince him that he was the wrong side of this war. It’s been on the back on Lincoln’s mind since the beginning of it all.

Then there’s Luna – whose been just waiting to strike since The Ark killed her boyfriend.

Owen is someone Lincoln doesn’t know much about. But selling the box is definitely one way to get back at Jaha. While how Owen is dealing with his tracker and _Red_ remains a mystery, with $20 million from the box he got, he’s got money to burn.

There’s also Sara, the Reaper from Thailand who was killed in a freak accident. Or at least that’s what The Ark thinks. With Lexa rattling the Ark as much as she is, it’s a lot easier to fake deaths now and Sara’s done exactly that. Lincoln and Luna picked up on her trail and promised to not say anything to anyone if she gave them the box.

Now there’s just two boxes left – one’s with Jaha and the other is with a Reaper named Mason.

For a long time, he was made to believe that he owed his life to The Ark. The organisation always preaches that they are the reason why recruits and agents are still alive. While it might be _technically_ true, they’ve all had to pay a big cost (one in which they had no say in).

Lincoln’s always felt like the world’s been trying to turn him into a monster. Before The Ark, he ran with the wrong group of people, was put through one thing after the other and he just never really found his place. Then came The Ark, which did see him turn into a monster. He knows he can never wash off the blood on his hands.

But for the first time in his life, Lincoln doesn’t feel like that anymore. With Lexa, it’s different. With Lexa, he feels like he’s doing something that’s going to change a lot of people’s lives – most of it for the better. While the blood on his hands will remain, helping in taking down The Ark seems like the best first step in trying to make up for the things he’s done.

The people who he’s working with, _fighting_ with are definitely a big reason why he’s doing this too. They don’t look at him like a monster. They’re all in the same boat, they’ve all been through the same thing, and they all want the same thing; they want The Ark stopped once and for all.

Lincoln knew from the moment he met Lexa she was a force to be reckon with. Even in The Ark as a recruit, as a loyal agent – Lexa was like no one The Ark has ever seen. There’s a reason why she’s nicknamed “The Commander” and she’s the biggest reason why he believes that they’ll pull this off. The work he’s done with Lexa over the last couple of months have purpose than all the work he’s done as an Ark agent.

Now four of the six black boxes have been destroyed and he can almost feel it coming to an end. It is probably safe to say that they’re in the final stretch of their master plan, but there’s nothing safe about what they’re doing. Right now, Lexa is making her way through the pipes to get into The Ark. It’s a sickening thought, really. He doesn’t question Lexa’s abilities but when there’s a whole team of trained assassins in there versus Lexa and Octavia, the odds aren’t that great.

But they’ve prepped the best they can and all he can do now is hope that it all goes well and make sure he’s ready to do his part. Lincoln is waiting a couple of miles from the entrance of The Ark, hiding in the deep bush near one of the pipe entrances.

Lincoln adjusts his ear piece slightly and holds the button to speak. “How are you doing Lexa?” he asks.

“ _All good,”_ Lexa replies. “ _I’ll reach the entrance in about a minute.”_

Lincoln hums in response and leaves it at that. He then just listens to Becca and Luna talk over the mic to Lexa, going over the plan and what she needs to do when she reaches the entrance. He wasn’t at Ice Nation, but from what he’s been told it was a mess of a plan. So he understands why they’re going over this plan with a fine-tooth comb.

It’s about five minutes later that Lincoln hears rustling in the bushes behind him. He reacts instantly, going for his gun and moving to inspect what it could be. But as he walks around his car, an unfamiliar figure approaches and attacks him. He loses his gun, but manages to knock the assailant’s gun as well.

The guy is trained and not just military trained, or academy trained, but _Ark_ trained. Lincoln can hold himself as he fights, but so can his opponent. He tries to bring the guy down and it works, but the other guy quickly recovers and knocks Lincoln down in the process.

Lincoln jumps back up and tackles the other guy as he’s getting up. He’s got the man pinned down at this point, he grabs the guy’s collar and pulls him up. “Who are you?” he yells, balling his other hand into a fist.

The other guy scoffs and tries to escape, but Lincoln punches him square in the face. “I’ll give you one more chance to answer. Who are you?!” There’s a part of him that knows, but there’s also a part of him that doesn’t want to find out.

The guy turns his head and spits out the blood from his mouth before laughing. “You would think you know when you were fighting another Reaper, Lincoln,” he says.

“Mason…” Lincoln breathes.

 

* * *

 

Crawling through the pipes is not something Lexa thought she would have to do for a second time – but here she is. It’s almost as bad as the first time but there isn’t any other way they can do this. This is definitely one of their most dangerous plans yet and a lot of it rests on her ability to get in and out without being caught. She wants nothing more than to not have to hurt anyone in the process, but she’s always got to think about the bigger picture.

In her ear piece, Becca, Lincoln and Luna standby to help guide and support her. While this is one of their most dangerous plans yet, she’s got a group of people who she can trust. It’s also a group of people who she knows will continue on with taking down The Ark if the worse were to happen.

When she reaches the vent of the armoury, she listens very carefully. If there are agents there she’ll have to wait for them to go before Octavia can let her in. Thankfully, it isn’t long before she hears Octavia call out her name. The vents open and Lexa crawls out and gives her entire body a good stretch.

“You okay?” Octavia whispers.

Lexa nods. “Come on, we don’t have a lot of time.”

Octavia nods and they work to getting Lexa through to another set of vents. Fortunately, it’s in the same room of the armoury, and all they need to do is move a cabinet so Lexa can climb on top and reach it.

“Remember,” Octavia whispers, “Two lefts, one right, a left and straight until you see the blue lights.”

“Got it.”

Lexa climbs into the vent and closes it behind her. She hears Octavia shuffle the cabinet back into place and starts to make way through to the main network room. There she’ll plant a bug into the system so that Becca can get in and help her further to make sure she can get through The Ark without any problems.

As she crawls, she lets the others know that she’s made it in and she’s on her way to the network room. Becca and Luna respond immediately, but Lincoln doesn’t. The definitely concerns her because protocol is that they all check-in whenever someone talks so that they know everything is okay.

“ _Lincoln, check in,”_ Becca requests. It’s just quiet for a moment. “ _Check in Lincoln,”_ Becca repeats.

“ _Sorry,”_ Lincoln replies back.

Lexa lets out a sigh of relief and continues on. “What happened?” she whispers.

“ _Guys, I have a situation here…”_

 _“What situation?”_ Becca asks.

“ _I’ve got Mason,”_ Lincoln replies.

Lexa comes to a stop, processing what she just heard to make sure she isn’t hearing things. “Mason the Reaper?” she asks carefully.

Lincoln hums in response. “ _He’s surrendering the box.”_

“Just like that?” Lexa asks. She still hasn’t moved because it all seems too good to be true.

“ _Well he wants $5 million,”_ Lincoln replies. There’s a pause before he speaks up again, “ _I’ve verified the box, it’s the real deal.”_

“ _If Mason is with you, then who is The Ark getting in Canada?”_ Luna asks.

 _“When Mason was given the orders to go dark, he knew that it couldn’t be anything good,”_ he replies. “ _So he did go dark, but not in the way he The Ark told him to. Look, I can tell you guys his story later, but he wants the money now or he walks away.”_

“Give him the money,” Lexa responds. She starts to crawl again, “Wire the funds from my account Becca, give him however much he’s asking for.”

“ _Okay,”_ Becca responds.

“You sure it’s the real thing?” Lexa asks Lincoln.

“ _I’m sure.”_

Lexa nods to herself. “Then once the funds have been transferred, take the box back to Becca. Having a box is unsettling enough, but having one so close to The Ark is even more unsettling.”

“ _Are you sure?”_ Lincoln asks. “ _What if you need a quick getaway?”_

 _“I’ll get it and bring it back to the safe house,”_ Luna cuts in.

“Okay,” Lexa responds. She pauses and makes another turn through the vents but accidently hits a sore spot on her stomach, causing her to groan slightly.

“ _Are you okay?”_ Becca asks.

Lexa hums in response. “Just wire the funds and get box. I’ll be fine in here.”

 _“Okay,”_ Lincoln replies.

“I want Lincoln and Luna’s earpiece on auto, I want to hear everything just in case Mason’s brought back up or if things go south,” Lexa says.

“ _Already done.”_

When Lexa sees the blue lights illuminating in the distance, there’s this sigh of relief she lets out. It’s not that she wasn’t sure of her way around the vents, but it’s still good to have reassurance that the plan is going well so far. When she gets just above the room, Lexa unscrews the vent and pulls it out so she can jump down.

Lexa drops down without a second though. Once she’s got two feet safely on the ground she readjusts herself and hides to the side. “I’m in,” she whispers into her earpiece. She does a quick scan of the room to make sure that there aren’t any surprise guests.

“ _Okay, plug the USB into the main server in the middle of the room,”_ Becca commands. “ _I’ll have access to the system within thirty seconds.”_

Lexa does as she’s told, keeping to the blind spots of the camera in the room. It’s hard, but not impossible. Eventually she does make it to the main server, takes the USB from her pocket and plugs it in. “Let me know when it’s done,” Lexa whispers.

“ _Twenty seconds.”_

_“Ten.”_

_“Five.”_

_“I’m in,”_ Becca says. “ _You can take it out now.”_

Lexa pulls out the USB and then grabs some of the C4 from her bag. This part was a last addition to the plan, but she’s going to plant some right on the main server. If anything goes wrong, Becca can activate it, causing the system to cripple. Any way to push The Ark back a couple of steps is a welcome addition to the plan.

Now all she has to do is wait. While getting into the network room is (relatively) easy enough, getting out is a little harder. She now needs to make her way up to Jaha’s office which is a couple of levels up from where she’s currently is. Octavia is meant to come by and give her the all clear to leave the room.

“ _What’s taking so long?”_ Luna asks through the earpiece.

“Give it time,” Lexa whispers. “She’ll get here when she gets here.”

“ _I don’t have a good feeling about this.”_

Lexa ignores the remarks because she suddenly has an uneasy feeling about this. But it’s something she’s become accustom to. She’s just to keep moving forward and trust that everything is going to plan. Over the next couple of minutes she listens to Becca get further into The Ark system. Thankfully, she’s managed to get in like a regular user, just undetected from most.

When she hears footsteps coming in, Lexa hides a little further back and places her hand on her weapon. She waits and she listens, and she’s sure that in the silence she can also her the heart beating in her chest.

“ _Lexa?”_

Lexa’s shoulders relax at the sound of Octavia’s voice and she makes herself from her little corner. “I was getting worried–” The rest of her response is cut off as she sees Octavia standing there, still, _stiff_ and that’s when Lexa sees Jaha come up behind her, holding a gun to her head.

Immediately Lexa goes for the gun but in a matter of seconds she’s surrounded by other agents. It doesn’t stop her from aiming though, because if she’s going down, she’s going down with a fight. Lexa’s keeps her breathing steady, her mind focused. In her earpiece she can hear Becca calling for her but she doesn’t say anything in response.

“Do you really think you can beat me at this?” Jaha asks. He pushes the gun to the base of Octavia’s neck, walking them closer to Lexa. “It’s over.”

“Shoot him,” Octavia says.

Jaha turns off the safety to his weapon, “Quiet.”

Lexa reacts by stepping forward and raising her gun – prompting the other agents to do the same. “This isn’t over,” she whispers.

“Look around you, Lexa,” Jaha laughs. “You’re surrounded. Now, hand over your weapon.”

Lexa takes a couple quick breaths, but doesn’t move yet. She’s trying to figure out a plan to get themselves out of here, but she honestly has none. And by the look on Octavia’s eyes she knows that it’s probably an impossible task, even by their standards. So, since she hasn’t been killed right on the spot, she figures Jaha needs her for whatever reason.

She loosens the grip around her gun and surrenders it to the closest agent. Just as the gun is out of her hands, two other agents come up behind her and handcuff her from behind. Lexa puts up no fight, with Jaha still pointing the gun right at Octavia. In her mind she’s still trying to see if they have a way out of this, but nothing comes.

“Check her,” Jaha instructs.

Lexa squirms as she’s checked for weapons. She loses her backpack, the knife in her shoe and they also find her earpiece. Jaha takes the earpiece and inspects it, looking seemingly surprised by the technology.

“Whoever is at the end of this ear piece, just know that your precious Commander is no more,” Jaha says before dropping it to the floor and smashing it with his foot.

Two other agents take over Jaha’s position to watch over Octavia and they’re being guided out of them room. If there’s one positive to come out from this it’s that they didn’t bother to check the rest of the room so the C4 on the sever is still in place.

Lexa walks besides Octavia, following the agents that surround them. Even Lexa knows that they’re greatly outnumbered and they’re going to need one hell of a plan to get out of this one. At this point their only hope is probably Becca. She’s already in the system, now it’s a matter of keeping an eye out for any signs she might send their way.

“Where are we going?” Lexa asks.

Jaha, who’s walking in front of them doesn’t turn around and merely replies with a, “You’ll see,” in response.

Initially, Lexa thought that they’d be taken to the basement but instead of going down levels, they go up. It surprises her and she does share a few questioning looks with Octavia. They walk through the corridors and Lexa tries to ignore the stares that she’s met with. Passing agents and recruits come to a stand-still, some whispering, some looking as if they’ve seen a ghost.

“Get back to work,” Jaha instructs.

They continue walking through until they end up in the training floor of the facility. Lexa’s pretty sure that it’s just to show the agents that he’s got her and Octavia and she gets herself ready for whatever is about to happened. The recruits and agents just stand there, looking right at them.

“It’s over!” Jaha calls out. “The almighty Commander has been caught and she’s not going anywhere this time around.”

One of the recruit steps towards them cautiously. He’s a young, blonde boy and there’s concern written all over his face. “Octavia?” he whispers.

Jaha steps towards the recruit and places his hand on his shoulder. “Aden, how would you feel if I told you that your friend, Octavia Blake, has been the mole this entire time?”

Aden looks to Octavia, “Is it true?”

“I’m so sorry, Aden,” Octavia whispers. Her voice cracks and Lexa can tell that this Aden is someone important to her. While she did warn Octavia about forming relationships within the Ark, Lexa knew that it would be impossible not to do so.

“Why?” Aden asks.

Octavia shakes her head and it doesn’t seem like she can get the words out. Instead, Lexa answers, “She’s doing what she thinks is right.” She pauses as the agents pull her a little back, “She’s fighting for what she believes in. Can I say the same for you, Aden?”

Aden doesn’t respond, instead the two of them share an exchange that Lexa can’t quite explain. It’s as if she can see something click within him and she’s not sure if she’s the only one who sees it. The silence is broken as a familiar face walks up to them.

“Bellamy,” Lexa whispers as she takes a deep breath.

“You have some nerve, Lexa,” Bellamy huffs, “I can’t believe you would put Octavia in danger like this. What do you have on her?”

Before Lexa can respond, Octavia manages to step away from her agents for just a moment to stand between them. “She has nothing on me,” Octavia growls.

Lexa rolls her eyes as she sees Jaha gesture for the agents to stand down for the time being. They are surrounded and they would be fools to try anything right now. “Do you know why your sister agreed to come into The Ark?” She pauses. “Sure it was to help take down The Ark, but it was also to _help you.”_

“Help me?” Bellamy asks with a scoff.

Octavia nods. “Why is it so hard to believe that after years of thinking you were dead, I wouldn’t want to come help you? You are my brother but if these past few months have taught me anything, it’s maybe that you don’t need my help. You seem to be doing just fine with all of _this.”_

Bellamy goes quiet and Jaha comes to stand behind him. “He is doing just fine here.”

Lexa can feel that this little show of theirs is going to come to an end so she quickly steps to the side so she can have a good view of the recruits before her. “My fight is not with any of you,” she announces. “And I understand that it seems like it. But my fight is with the people and the system responsible for you being here.” Surprisingly the agents let her walk a little closer to the recruits, “The Ark says that they’ve saved you, but is it really saving when you’re know forced to comply with every single one of their orders? Trust me, I know what it’s like on your side. I was once a recruit, a loyal agent to this very organisation.”

“But you betrayed them,” a recruit points out.

“They betrayed me first,” Lexa replies coolly. She can tell that some of the recruits know what she’s talking about and others look bewildered. “ _THEY,”_ nods her head towards Jaha, “Don’t care about you. They care about _using_ you and that’s it.”

“You’re wrong.”

Lexa shakes her head. “I’m not. You all need to realise that you’re just a pawn in this game of theirs.”

“Enough!” Jaha screams. That prompts the agents to grab her again, pulling her back from the recruits. She hears Jaha mutter some commands but Lexa focuses on the faces of the recruits before her. It looks like her words are resonating with some of them and that’s all she needs. It might not be much at this point, but tapping into that little bit of concern can eventually be a very powerful thing.

They continue past the training floor and head towards some corridors. From what she remembers, this is where the interrogation rooms are and soon enough, Lexa finds herself walking straight into one. It’s a bright, white room, circular with a steel chair in the middle. But that’s not all, Lexa runs her eyes around the room and spots three people with bags over their heads, shackled to the wall.

“No,” Lexa whispers. “NO!” she yells.

The agents push her into the chair in the middle of the room and metal clasps close around her arms and legs, stopping her from moving anywhere. Octavia’s agents push her towards the wall, shackling her right next to the other person.

Most of the agents then leave the room, with only two remain and Jaha. “I told you Lexa, you won’t win,” he taunts. He walks over to the other people, pulling the bags off their heads. “You really didn’t think that one of _my_ board members wouldn’t tell me that my some of my finest agents have turned against me?”

Everything else Jaha says becomes white noise. Lexa looks to the three people next to Octavia, she’s looking right at Clarke, Anya and Raven and her heart sinks more so than it ever has. They’ve all taken some beating, their eyes slowly adjusting to the brightness of the room. Lexa’s gut turns, she doesn’t even try to settle her breathing.

“Now you’ll watch them all suffer and die,” Jaha continues, “And it’ll all be your fault.”

“You won’t get away with this,” Lexa snarls.

Jaha laughs. “LOOK AT WHERE YOU ARE LEXA! You are a smart woman; I don’t deny that. So I know you know that there is no escaping this.”

Lexa knew that it would be too good to be true that Nia wouldn’t say anything to Jaha. Thought Nia was attempting to steal something from him, she knows how to manipulate and use people to still get what she wants.

“Do you know how Nia wanted me to do?” Lexa asks.

Jaha paces back and forth, flicking his gaze from the ground and back to her. “Of course,” he replies. “Operation Callaway.”

“And you’re okay that one of your board members tried to steal from you?”

“No, but I’m not surprised either.”

Lexa scoffs, “Because you need her more than you don’t.”

“Correct,” Jaha nods. He walks over to stand over Octavia, turning his head back to Lexa. “You nearly had us fooled with Octavia. It’s a shame that this is how the story goes, she could have been a valuable Ark agent.”

“You’re mistaken if you think that I would ever work for you,” Octavia scoffs.

“That’s exactly what your brother said at first,” Jaha recounts, “But look at him now.”

Octavia scoffs and shakes her head, returning her focus on the ground. Lexa doesn’t say anything either, keeping her eyes on the four in front of her. Clarke’s the only one looking at her. She knows those blue eyes well and right now they’re telling her to stop for a moment, to clear her mind and to see if there’s any possible moves they can make in their current situation.  

For a while Jaha taunts them, going on about loyalty, trust and betrayal. A lot of it is crap, and Lexa just tries to block it all out. But it’s here that they also learn that while Ark agents are going to Canada to retrieve the box, Clarke, Anya and Raven were never going to go. Involving them was Jaha’s way to ensure that Lexa would go through whatever plan she was going to execute. After that, catching Octavia in the act was easy enough. That’s how they’re all here now.

Right now, Lexa is helpless. All she can do is watch Octavia, Anya, Clarke and Raven and it’s getting frustrating. She needs to do something. Or at least, she needs for something to happen so she can work from it or at least play off it.

Jaha comes back around to stand in front of Lexa. “You lost.”

“Then why don’t you just kill me already?”

“Oh I will,” Jaha smirks. “But killing you would be _too_ easy right now. No…” He walks back towards Raven, taking slow steps in front of the other women as well. “I’m going to make you suffer.”

Lexa inhales sharply as he taunts her further. She tries to gather her thoughts. It’s hard though, because right now they’re crashing against each other and making no sense. But her people need her and she’s going to fight like hell for them.

“You will watch your friends suffer, Lexa,” Jaha says. “They will suffer and they will die and it’ll be because of you.”

“She’s not the one pulling the trigger,” Anya whispers.

Jaha turns to Anya and shakes his head. “She might as well be. She’s the reason why you are all here.”

“We chose to be here. We knew the risk.”

Jaha walks over to Anya and Lexa fights the urge to try and break out of her chair (even though she knows it’ll be close to impossible). He kneels down towards her and lets out a long sigh, “You are arguably my most decorated agent, where did I lose you?” he asks.

“You never had me,” Anya replies. Without warning she lunges her head forehead, knocking Jaha off his feet. The agents in the room are quick to react, but he quickly dismisses them and brushes it off like it’s nothing.

“I made you,” Jaha says as he stands up, “I made _all_ of you. You would have wasted your lives away if it weren’t for me, for _The Ark_.”

Lexa huffs. “I can place blame on you and this place over and over till my last breath, but it’ll be no use.” She pauses. “What are you waiting for? You have me. Just get it over and done with.”

Jaha chuckles. “You all know that there’s someone else best suited for the job to make you suffer.”

“Alie,” Lexa whispers.

Jaha nods. “But I’m not letting the same thing happen last time happen again.” He pulls out what looks like to be a small remote and walks over to Lexa. “Do you know what this is?” he asks, shaking the remote.

“No.”

“Do you know that we’ve changed the trackers since you faked your death?”

“No,” Lexa lies.

“Do you remember the experimental chips we had?”

Lexa doesn’t respond straight away, but she nods eventually.

“Well we got them to work and manufactured them to be trackers for our agents.”

Lexa’s really hoping for a miracle right now. Once Jaha figures out that Octavia’s chip has been deactivated, they’re all dead. But there’s nothing she can do while she’s strapped into this chair.

“What’s the remote for?” Lexa asks, pretending she doesn’t know anything.

“Well one new advancements with the chip trackers is that they also double up as kill chips,” he reveals. “A push of this button and that’s goodbye Octavia.”

Lexa fights against the restraints. She might be just delaying the inevitable but she’ll buy whatever time she can get. Everything clings onto the hope that maybe Becca is coming up with some sort of the plan from the outside. There’s got to be something they can do to help them now.

Jaha looks down to Octavia, “Any last words Octavia?”

“Bite me.”

“Octavia,” Lexa whispers. She shakes her head and she’s not quite sure what message she’s sending but Octavia seems to pick up on it.

“What about you, Lexa?” Jaha asks. “Do you have anything to say?”

“Why do you do this?”

“Do what?”

Lexa lifts her chin up slightly and motions it around the room. “All of this? The Ark, recruits, agents…”

“If you don’t know by now then you aren’t the agent I thought you were,” Jaha replies.

“You took everything away from me,” Lexa whispers. She keeps her head down, her eyes closed, her breathing as steady as she can.

“I gave you everything.”

Lexa scoffs softly. “You took away everything,” she repeats, “And you turned me into a monster. You made me believe that what I was doing was right.”

Jaha starts to pace back and forth between them. “I gave you all a purpose, I made you the best agents this place has ever seen.” He walks over to Anya and kneels down to her level again, “Head of Alpha team,” he tuts, “I am surprised and disappointed.” He then looks over to Clarke and lets out a long sigh, “What would your dad think, Clarke?”

“Don’t,” Clarke huffs.

“JAHA!” Lexa calls out. He stands up and returns to stand in front of her, holding up the remote and hovering his finger right over the button. She still needs to stall. “You won’t find what you want in Canada.”

Jaha laughs. “You’re telling me that your people got to the box before my team did?”

“No,” Lexa shakes her head.

“You can try and stall all you want, Lexa. But nothing can help you now.”  He looks back to Octavia, then back to Lexa. “Last chance for final words.”

Lexa keeps her eyes on Octavia, who’s staring back at her. Jaha’s about to realise that Octavia’s chip isn’t working anymore and she can’t do anything about it.

“I would have thought after all you’ve been through you would at least have a goodbye for your dear friend.”

“I’ll give you the box,” Lexa whispers.

“That would require you actually having the box.”

Lexa lets out another sigh but she knows he won’t believe what she’s saying.

“Then if that’s all…” Jaha holds up and presses the button on the remote.

Instantly Lexa watches as Octavia’s body stiffen for a moment, just like it did before when they were deactivating the chip. At this point she’s got no idea what’s going on but she doesn’t have time to think about anything else other than what she’s seeing. Octavia’s body goes completely limp, her head drooping down and it just looks like the life’s been sucked out of her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was initally a 16k monster so i decided to spilt it (long chapters make me anxious and plus, i havent had a chance to edit the second half yet)
> 
> thanks for reading. hope you're well xx


	18. into the storm (part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> picking up right where we left off with lexa and co. stuck in the ark. how will they get out of this one?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy reading!

Lexa holds her breath as there is no response from Octavia. Her eyes flicker to Clarke and Anya who seem to be just as shocked as her. And Raven, though she doesn’t know that Octavia’s chip is deactivated is still definitely affected by the sight before her.

All Lexa hopes right now is that Octavia’s faking it and that she isn’t actually dead. It’s convincing though and Lexa would not bet on either outcome at this point. Her eyes slowly fall onto Anya who’s mouthing, “ _She’s fine,”_ and then to Raven who still looks to be in disbelief. Then she notices Clarke and what she’s carrying in her hand that’s got shackles around them. It’s a pick.

“It’s over Le–” Jaha’s words are cut off as explosions echo through the walls. It startles everyone for a moment and all Lexa can do is watch as the scene before her unfolds.

Clarke manages to pick the locks on her chains, lunging forward as Jaha reaches for his weapon. She’s quick though, quicker than he is and she disarms him in a matter of seconds. It’s now that Octavia also makes herself known, escaping from her chains as well as she goes to attack the agents coming after Clarke.

There are more explosions and the fight escalates.

Octavia manages to hold off the two agents as Clarke continues to wrestle with Jaha for the gun. Lexa struggles against her seat, watching as Anya picks the lock on her own chains. There’s staggering grunts from both ends. Octavia manages to knock one of the agents down but the other is still going strong.

Once Anya is free, she hands over the pick to Raven and makes a move to help Clarke. Jaha’s no match for the two of them, with Clarke and Anya working together to gain the upper hand. Octavia also manages to knock the other agent out, pulling his body towards the chains and locking him up. She grabs the other unconscious agent and does the same.

But just as they get the situation sorted, the door swings open and more agents are rushing in. Octavia’s quick to react, going for the ones who are targeting Clarke and Anya first. It’s killing Lexa that she’s still stuck in the chair, she’s trying everything she can to get out but the metals clasps seem to be automated.

Just as Raven frees herself, one of the agents goes for her. But Raven sees it coming, stepping out of the way and pushing the guy so that his head hits the wall. It renders him useless and Raven chains him up so that she can help the others.

“RAVEN WATCH OUT!” Lexa calls out.

Raven ducks and tackles the assailant towards the ground. The fight escalates even more but it seems like Clarke, Anya, Raven and Octavia have the upper hand at the moment. When things settle a little and the agents are outnumbered, Raven comes over and inspects the chair Lexa is sitting in.

“Think you can get me out of here?” Lexa asks.

“One second…” Raven whispers. It seems like she’s running her fingers along the chair, down to the ground, then back up the chair. Lexa can’t really tell what Raven’s looking for, but she knows better than to question it. “I just need to get to a computer and I can get you out.”

Lexa nods. “Okay.” At this moment she’s silently apologising for dragging Raven into this as well. From what Lexa last knew, Raven wasn’t on her side and now here they are trying to escape the Ark together.

Octavia comes by with two guns, passing one of them to Raven. “I’ll go with you,” she says. “Lexa, once you’re free get out of here.”

“She right,” Raven adds. “We’ll find our way out.”

“I’m not going to leave you here,” Lexa replies.

Raven shakes her head. “It’s not up for discussion, Lexa.”

Before Lexa gets a chance to argue, Raven is off. But not before Clarke takes Octavia’s spot instead, saying that she knows her way around the pipes as well and can get them out.

“Don’t wait for us,” Clarke says as she’s running out the door. “We’ll find you on the outside!”

“CLARKE!” Lexa calls out. But it’s no use – they’re both gone and Anya’s shutting to door behind them. She looks around the room to see what’s been left behind. It’s not a pretty sight but it’s one that means they’re safe (inside this room _and_ for the time being).

“You’re not going to get away with this,” Jaha laughs from his spot on the wall. Both his hands are chained and he doesn’t seem to put up any sort of fight or struggle.

Lexa ignores him though, watching as Anya and Octavia grab the guns from the unconscious agents on the ground. She doesn’t say anything either, watching and just blocking out the taunting that’s coming from the Jaha’s side of the room. Instead she hones in on the commotion outside the room. It’s frantic and the noise echoes through the vents and walls.

She hears the metal clasps open before she feels them. It feels like they’ve been digging into her skin for hours so she feels a little numb. But the feeling in her arms come back just a couple of moments later and she’s out of the chair and accepting a gun from Anya.

“We have to go,” Anya whispers rather harshly.

Lexa double checks the gun before shaking her head. “We have to get Raven and Clarke.”

“No,” Anya replies. “Clarke knows her way around the pipes. They will find us.”

Lexa is almost about the argue but she finds herself being pushed towards the door and before she knows it, Anya is stepping outside with her weapon hot. There is no time to argue and she focuses on the mission at hand – they have to get out.

Anya takes the lead as she guides them through the corridor. Octavia remains in the middle and Lexa covers them from behind. Occasionally they come to sudden stop, waiting and listening till it’s all clear to move again. For a spilt second Lexa catches herself thinking about the two women in front of her and how good of a team they make.

As they’re waiting to go around the corner, Lexa feels the tip of a gun press to the base of her neck.

_“Don’t move.”_

Anya and Octavia instantly whip themselves around, pointing their gun towards Bellamy. But before they can say anything Lexa swiftly turns herself around and disarms him in a second. He tries to put up a fight but when Octavia steps in between them he stops.

“Don’t do this,” Bellamy pleads. “They will kill you.”

“Turn around and leave,” Octavia whispers.

“Octavia…”

Octavia shakes her head. “GO.”

“I can’t let you do this.” Bellamy tries to go for Octavia’s gun, effectively losing his footing and winding up on the ground. Lexa quickly opens the door beside them, prompting Anya and Octavia to bring Bellamy in.

Without wasting anymore time, Lexa grabs the cuffs from Bellamy’s belt and handcuffs him to the railing along the wall. It’s some sort of utility closest and they don’t spend another second in there. Just as Lexa is closing the door behind them, she looks to Bellamy one more time.

“I know your loyalties are set,” Lexa says, “But you should know that Jaha tried to kill Octavia just moments before.”

The look on Bellamy’s face tells her that he knows she isn’t lying. Defeat seems to wash over him, his body giving no indication of fighting back. “Look after her,” he whispers, his voice quiet and almost broken.

“She can look after herself.” Lexa closes the door and re-joins Anya and Octavia. She’s got no more time to think about Bellamy at this point. They have to take the long way around to the armoury to avoid the agents crawling through the place. Parts of The Ark is smoky from the explosions and there’s still a few alarms blaring through the system.

They get to the stairwells, running down a couple of levels as fast as they can. Lexa gets just a moment to catch her breath as Anya listens to the door – making sure that no one is around before they enter. When Anya is sure that the coast is clear, they make their move.

The explosions have rocked through the armoury level as well, it’s smoky but it’s manageable. It makes it much easier for them to move since everyone’s been evacuated upstairs. Lexa thinks that even though their plan has gone to crap, they still might just make it out of this alive. But of course, her mind instantly wanders back to Clarke and Raven and she just hopes that they’re okay.

The three of them remain on high alert as they make their way through the corridors. They just have one more corridor to run down before they reach the armoury and can finally escape. But of course, just as the door comes into sight they run into someone else.

Octavia quickly jumps ahead of Anya, “Aden,” she whispers.

Lexa steps to the side as Aden just stares at them for the time being. It’s mostly confusion on his face, mixed with a little bit of worry – but it’s nothing that tells her that she needs to be worried about him.

“Avoid going towards the basement,” Aden whispers, “The guards are all over that place. Corridors J through to M are surrounded as well.”

He reaches for his pocket and Lexa stops Anya from raising her gun. It’s a tense moment but Lexa knows that Aden is no threat to them – especially if Octavia’s showing no signs of concern. Aden eventually hands them a radio, “Keep the volume low, but it’ll help you navigate your way out of here. You do have a plan, right?”

Octavia nods and takes the radio. “Yeah, we do.”

Lexa takes the radio and inspects in. It’s a standard guard radio and it’ll definitely come in handy as it’ll give them a pretty good idea if The Ark is right on them or not. “How did you get this?” Lexa asks.

“Don’t you have something a little more important to worry about?” Aden jabs.

Lexa manages a small laugh before nodding. “I guess you’re–” Their conversation is interrupted as footsteps close in on their location. Fortunately, there’s another utility closet right by them so in an instant Anya’s shoving them inside. Lexa’s just about to pull Aden in as well, but he’s quick to dodge it and close the door – leaving him on the outside.

“What is he doing?” Lexa whispers. Octavia shrugs in response and all they can do is wait and listen to what’s going to happen.

“ _Recruit Childs, what are you doing here? Did you not hear the evacuation alarm?”_

              “ _I got a little turned around.”_

_“After months of being here?”_

_“I don’t know what to tell you.”_

_“Tell me then… have you seen Lexa and her people down here?”_

_“No, sir.”_

_“Are you sure?”_

_“Yes, sir.”_

Since Lexa, Octavia and Anya were crammed into the small closet without much of a warning, they weren’t able to find a good footing. While they’ve been in worse situations – there’s only so much the human body can handle. So when there’s a sudden stabbing pain in Lexa’s thigh, she jerks, prompting Anya to knock over a few things.

“ _What was that?”_

Lexa kicks down the door and instantly goes for the guard who’s got Aden. She knows Octavia and Anya will be right on her tail and will have her back. Aden puts up a good fight but the guard is almost twice his size so he welcomes the help when Lexa joins the fight. It’s not long before Lexa manages to have the guy in a headlock, rendering him unconscious and bringing him down to the floor.

However, Octavia and Anya have a little more of a struggle on their hands. It’s three against two and with the beating they’ve taken already it’s a tough fight. Lexa goes to help Anya who’s trying to fend two of them off, but that causes further trouble as one of the agents pulls out a gun. Shots a fired but with the hustle of it all, Lexa doesn’t get hit and it doesn’t seem like anyone else is either.

With the shots fired, Lexa knows that she has no more time to waste.  Ark agents and guards will be on them soon and desperate times call for desperate measures. Lexa fights and she tries to manoeuvre herself so that she can get the agent in a headlock to snap his neck.

In the meantime, both Anya and Octavia are still putting up a good fight. The sounds that fill the corridors are of grunts and moans, the chatter over the radio tells them that they still have time since it seems like no one’s heard the gun shots.

The fighting only escalates and Lexa makes her move, snapping the agent’s neck and pushing his body towards the man fighting Octavia. There’s a sick, gut wrenching feeling that washes through her – there always is when she takes a life but it’s not something she can worry about right now.

It’s still a chaos.

“LEX!” Anya calls out.

Lexa turns to Anya to see her sliding a gun towards her. She lunges forward for it, taking the weapon and shooting the agent in the leg. Lexa then turns and shoots the agent attacking Octavia also. But even while the agents are down, one of them still has a gun is shooting at all of them. Before Lexa knows it, Aden is jumping to cover her.

There’s a brief moment that’s a blur for Lexa. There’s shots, Aden stills, Anya and Octavia are yelling something. Things around Lexa seem to go in slow-motion and it’s as if she’s about to fall through the floors. The only thing that brings her out of the daze is Anya coming by and helping her up.

“Come on, get up,” Anya says

Lexa gives her body a whole shake before nodding. The first thing she does is reach for Aden. “Hey,” she whispers, turning his body towards her. But the moment she sees his face, Lexa knows that something is wrong. It doesn’t take long for her to see that Aden’s putting pressure on his thigh and that there’s blood seeping through.

Lexa looks up to Anya, “We can’t leave him.”

Anya doesn’t say anything but rips the material across her shirt, long enough to wrap around Aden’s leg for a temporary fix. Lexa helps get Aden on Anya’s back and they’re off towards the armoury.

“Where are we going?” Aden whispers.

They get to the armoury. Octavia closes the door behind them, blocking the entrance with a cabinet as Lexa works to unscrewing the entrance to the pipes. Lexa focuses on her task, not wanting to waste another second. She doesn’t know what she’s going to do with Aden but she knows that she can’t leave him behind. There’s no doubt that The Ark will figure out that he helped them, and once they do he’ll be floated without a second thought.

Behind her, Lexa can hear Aden and Anya talking.

“Thank you for helping us,” Anya says.

“I’m doing what I think is right.” Aden pauses and clears his throat. “You don’t have to take me with you. I’ll only slow you down.”

“They’ll float you.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Trust me,” Anya whispers, “I do. We’re not forcing you to come with us, but you have a better chance at surviving if you do.”

“Don’t stay,” Octavia pleads.

Lexa unscrews the pipe entrance and turns back to the others, “We have to go.” She looks over to Aden, “Come with us, we can help you escape this place for good.”

Aden nods. It might be a rash decision but he can tell that he has no time to think this through. He tells Anya that he’s fine to walk, but she doesn’t accept it. So once Aden’s on Anya’s back, they go through the pipes first, then Octavia, then Lexa follows closely behind. She does put the cover back on, but with no one to screw it back into place this is the last time they’ll be able to use the pipes.

 

* * *

 

The whole ride back to the safe house has got Lexa feeling a constant state of wanting to be sick. They’re in the van and driving as fast as they can away from The Ark – it doesn’t seem like anyone is tailing them but it doesn’t stop Lexa from worrying.

Lincoln’s driving, Anya sitting up front as well to keep an eye out for any potential followers and Lexa sits with Octavia and Aden at the back. She’s just gotten off the phone with Becca, telling her what’s happened and also getting her to clone Aden’s signal since he’s with them now. It’s a tense conversation but Lexa’s got no time or patience to explain everything right now.

There’s also an unspoken agreement that Anya’s got to get her tracker out as well and Becca assures them that she’ll have everything ready by the time they get to the house. In the mean time, Lexa and Octavia help Aden with his gun shot. It’s a clean shot, through and through so they’re able to keep it under control with what they currently have.

From the short conversation with Becca, Lexa finds out that Becca was the one to activate the C4. Once they lost communication with each other, Becca found her way through the system and into the surveillance cameras where she was able to see what was going on. It was just a matter of finding the right time to create the massive distraction. 

 

Once they're back at the safe house there is no time to waste. Darren and Octavia take Aden to take care of his leg, Lincoln helps Lexa with her wounds and Becca gets Anya prepped to take out her hip tracker.

They’re all spread out in the common area of the house and it’s fairly quiet. Occasionally there’s whispering and moving about the place but there’s still an eerie presence. Lexa’s got some bruises and a couple of scars but it’s nothing too major. Octavia’s pretty much in the same state but it’s when they check on Anya that they realise Aden wasn’t the only one who was shot.

“It’s barely a graze,” Anya argues.

Lexa rolls her eyes and steps up towards Anya. It is a graze by Anya’s standards and she probably doesn’t even feel it but it’s still something. It’s now that everything starts to pile on and she realises what’s happened. They had a great plan, a solid one but they still failed. Clarke and Raven are still nowhere to be found, they now have Aden and the pipes into The Ark are out of play.

While Becca is prepping Anya for the surgery, Lexa makes her way over to Aden. She can’t begin to imagine what it must be like for him at the moment so she needs to make sure he’s okay – or at least as okay he can be given the current situation.

Lexa approaches slowly, letting the conversation between Octavia and Aden fizzle out. “Hi,” she greets as she holds out her hand, “Probably don’t need introductions, but I’m Lexa.”

Aden takes her hand, nodding softly and offer a small smile. “Aden.”

“Aden,” Lexa repeats, “Thank you.”

“You don’t need to–”

Lexa shakes her head. “No, I do. You didn’t do some small thing for us. There is a target on your back.” Aden nods. “And I’ll do everything I can to help you escape as far away as you want,” Lexa continues. “The first thing you need to do is deactivate your tracker.”

“Octavia told me about it already,” Aden replies. “I can do it. But I don’t want to escape.”

“What?”

“I want to help,” Aden clarifies.

“Aden…” Octavia whispers.

“I’m not saying put me out in the front lines,” he replies, “But I can help...”

“This isn’t something you want to get involved in.”

“Octavia’s right,” Lexa adds.

But still Aden shakes his head. “What am I supposed to do?” he says. “Go hide out somewhere while you all fight this? The Ark’s taken away from as they have from you. I want to be in this fight, I want to see them taken down.”

“ _Lexa.”_

Lexa turns around to Becca calling for her, she gives a quick nod before turning back to Aden. “We’ll talk about,” she whispers. “But let’s take out your tracker first.”

Aden nods, “Okay.”

Lexa starts to walk back towards Anya, letting out a couple deep sighs in the process. There is so much going on right now and she’s having trouble keeping up with it all. But first things first, she needs to be there for Anya. While Anya probably doesn’t need her near by, Lexa needs it. She needs someone to help bring everything back down to a level she can manage.

Since there’s no bed, Anya’s lying across the table. At this point she’s just in a bra and her black boy shorts, her bullet graze has been cleaned and bandaged, and Becca’s giving her a local anaesthetic. Lexa pulls up a chair, “I’m surprised you let her give you the anaesthetic,” she tells Anya.

“My surgery, my rules,” Becca cuts in.

Anya lets out a small sigh but she doesn’t fight it, “Anything from Clarke or Raven?”

“Not yet.”

Anya lets out another sigh and Lexa doesn’t want to say that they’ll be alright. The truth is she doesn’t know and it is hitting her hard, though she tries to not let it show (but this is Anya she’s with, Anya probably sees right through it). It’s another couple of minutes of quiet before Becca starts the procedure.

“Go do something,” Anya whispers.

“I don’t know what to do,” Lexa replies, “I don’t know where to start.”

Anya closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. “Start with whatever you have Lexa; fear, doubt, anger.”

“Fear, doubt and anger will send me on a wild rampage.”

“It’s a start,” Anya argues. “That’s all you need for now… a start. Everyone is looking to you to keep this moving forward.”

“I’m going to get you all killed.”

Anya shakes her head softly. “We knew what we were getting ourselves into.” She pauses. “Just start, okay? Even if everything is telling you that you’re wrong, just fucking start.”

“Who knew you were so wise.”

“It’s the anaesthetic.”

Lexa manages a small laugh. “Okay.” She brings her hands to rub her face and tries to figure out where to start. There’s a lot of places, but she’s got to be smart about this. They’re running against time at this point so she’s got to prioritise.

The black box.

“We haven’t got Jaha’s box, but we did get Mason’s,” Lexa whispers.

Anya nods despite being totally confused. She did get a quick update in the an as they were coming back to the safe house. “Good.”

“The box is by Luna,” Becca adds as she continues to work Anya’s tracker.

Lexa nods and makes her way towards Luna’s table. She doesn’t even touch the box – she can barely look at it right now. Luna notices her discomfort and silently moves it out of sight as she continues typing away at the computer. They know that cracking the code would be near impossible but it doesn’t stop them from trying.

Behind her, Lexa can hear Darren explaining to Aden what’s going to happen as they deactivate the chip. Octavia’s there too to offer support and reassurance, recounting what happened to her just earlier in the day.

In the mean time, Lincoln comes by and explains the story behind Mason. This is a start, it might be a small one but it’s something. Lexa learns that Mason has built a family during his time as Reaper – though he’s kept them a secret from The Ark. That’s definitely a smart call but now that he’s gone rogue as well, it’ll definitely put a target on his back.

That’s pretty much Mason’s story. He wants no part in The Ark anymore (he hasn’t for a while) but he’s never had the means to escape. With the money Lexa’s given him in exchange for the box, she only hopes that it’ll be enough to help.

So Lexa decides that she needs to start by destroying the black box. This whole plan revolves around destroying all the boxes so that Jaha can’t release what’s on them to the world. While the information on the box is nothing short of horrible and disgusting, if it is released it would cause more harm than it would do good. It’s a decision that Lexa made very early on, one that she has no intention of going back on.

Octavia comes by the table and it’s as if she knows what Lexa wants to do. “Don’t destroy the box yet,” she says, “Let Aden take a look.”

“Aden?” Lexa asks. She looks back over to where he is, seeing that he’s currently lying across the couch with Darren making sure he’s vitals are okay and that the tracker is actually deactivated.

Octavia nods. “He’s like a Monty junior. There was no doubt that he would have been promoted to IT.”

Lexa thinks about it for a moment. She hates the idea of having the box in the first place and with everything that’s happened, they don’t know what’s going to happen next. “No,” she replies.

“Lexa.”

“I know you have good intentions–”

“What if there’s something in the box that can help us?” Octavia cuts in. “What if there’s a clue or something we can use to help us?”

“There won’t be.”

“How do you know?!”

Lexa lets out a harsh breath, “This isn’t up for discussion, Octavia.”

“Why?”

At this point nearly everyone is looking at them and Lexa feels another weight being put on her shoulders. Since the beginning, the plan has been to destroy the boxes and no one’s seemed to question it. But now she can’t be certain of where everyone stands.

Lexa sighs. “Even if we manage to crack the boxes, if the files get in the wrong hands it would cause chaos. And not a chaos like we’ve created – something much more, something we won’t be able to control.”

“So we keep the files safe.”

“It’s naïve to say that, Octavia.” Lexa pauses and starts to pace around the room. “We had a good plan today and looked at how everything turned out. We are not taking that risk.”

“Come on Lexa–” Octavia’s reply is cut off as the sound of Jaha’s voice echoes throughout the room. Lexa’s quick to find the source. It’s the radio they took from The Ark as they were escaping.

“ _Lexa, if you can hear me you’re going to want to answer,”_ Jaha says.

Lexa holds the radio and takes a few deep breaths, looking around the room to gauge everyone’s reactions. They’ve all got pretty neutral expressions, one that tells Lexa that this is her choice.

“ _Lexa,”_ Jaha calls again. “ _You have something I want and I have something you want.”_

Lexa makes the decision to reply. “You don’t have anything I want.”

Jaha tuts over the radio. “ _Are you sure about that?”_

There’s a pause.

“ _SPEAK_!” he eventually yells. Obviously, he’s talking to someone else and he has to yell again before there’s another voice over the radio.

“ _Lex…”_

“Clarke?” Lexa whispers, her voice cracking ever so slightly.

Clarke hums in response. “ _He’s got Raven and I.”_ There’s another quick pause. “ _BUT DON’T–”_

 _“_ CLARKE!” Lexa yells

Jaha returns. “ _You know what I want. The box for Clarke and Raven.”_

“When?” Lexa ignores the way everyone reacts, ignores the way she just told Jaha that she has the box, she ignores every logical way of thinking. “Tell me when and where.”

“ _Polaris Docks, upon the old container ship. Tomorrow. Noon. I know that you’ll bring back up, but know that you will be greatly outnumbered.”_

“Clarke and Raven for the box,” Lexa repeats

“ _Yes.”_

After that Lexa smashes the radio the apart. All she can think about is how she just got Clarke back and there is no way Lexa wants to lose her again. Not just because of their relationship, but because Lexa can’t be the reason why two of the Griffins have lost their lives.

Anya sits up from the table after Becca bandages her up. “What are you thinking?” she asks. “You can’t possibly believe that it’s that easy.”

“Of course not!” Lexa yells.

“You’re not really thinking about this, are you?”

Lexa lets out a harsh sigh. “What else am I supposed to do?”

“There’s got to be another way…” Octavia whispers.

Lexa shakes her head. “If there is, I don’t see it and I honestly can’t say that we’ll be able to think of a plan before tomorrow.”

Luna stands up from the chair, “We can’t exchange the box for Clarke and Raven.”

“What if we make another fake?” Lincoln suggests.

As much as Lexa wants to do that, she knows that Jaha will see it coming a mile away. This time there can be no games. Her gut is telling her that this is it. While she doesn’t believe that Jaha is going to simply exchange the box for Clarke and Raven, Lexa has to try. There is no way she’s just going to sit around and do nothing.

She addresses everyone this time around, “Both Clarke and Raven put their lives on the line for me at Ice Nation. I am not asking any of you to do the same, but I have to do something.”

“We just got the box,” Luna whispers, “We’ll be taking steps back if you do this.”

“Then we take steps back.” Lexa pauses and looks around the room again. “You all have an out whenever you want it. Take it if you want it but I cannot leave Clarke and Raven in the hands on Jaha.”

Luna picks up her things and leaves without another word. It’s a tense couple of moments after that and Lexa is essentially holding her breath the entire time. She needs every single one of them to move forward, but she’s not going to force any of them to stay. She is not The Ark.

“Anyone else?” Lexa asks, looking around the room. Making eye contact with each and every one of them is like a stab in a chest. They all look to her as a leader and when even one person in their group questions her choices, it surely shakes her confidence. The last thing Lexa wants to do is lead her people into a losing battle.

“I’m on your side,” Anya says, “But do we really believe that he’ll give us Clarke and Raven that easily?”

Lexa sighs. “I don’t know. But they saved my life at Ice Nation and I’m going to fight like hell to do the same for them now.”

Octavia speaks up, “We need a plan.”

“No we don’t,” Lexa replies, “I’m doing this on my own. If anything happens tomorrow–”

“NO!” Octavia yells.  Lexa stops for a moment and waits as Octavia lets out a couple of deep breaths. “Why do you seem to forget that you are not alone in this?” she asks. “We are _all_ here ready to fight _with_ you.”

“I can’t ask you to do that.”

“You’re not,” Octavia argues. “We’re telling you.”

“She’s right,” Lincoln adds.

“Oso throu daugh ogeda,” Anya whispers from across the room.

Lexa takes another couple of deep breaths and just nods. She knows she can’t do this alone but the one thing she wants to be always sure about is that her people are here because they want to be here. “I don’t see how I’m getting out of tomorrow alive,” she admits.

“We come up with a plan,” Anya says, “Like we always do.”

Before Lexa can respond there are footsteps coming up the stairs. Everyone in the room stills, with Lexa, Anya, Lincoln and Octavia slowly arming themselves with whatever weapon they can get. It’s another tense couple of moments as they walk towards the door and wait to see who the footsteps belong to.

But then there’s a knock at the door.

“What the…” Octavia whispers.

Lexa stops her from saying anything else before reaching for the door knob and raising her gun. The person at the other side jumps slightly and it takes Lexa a moment to register who it is.

“I probably should have expected that,” Abby says.

Lexa doesn’t say anything, doesn’t move.

Abby raises her hands, “I’m alone and unarmed. You can check me if you like.”

“Octavia,” Lexa whispers.

Octavia gets the message, puts her gun away and steps towards Abby. The search is about thirty seconds before she’s giving the all clear. Cautiously, Lexa steps aside and lets Abby through.

“What are you doing here?” Lexa asks. “How did you find me?”

“I know about Clarke and Raven,” Abby responds. She looks around the room, seemingly trying to take everything in. The medical equipment catches her attention and it seems like she wants to ask something but she decides against it.

There is another pang in Lexa’s chest. Her gut is telling her that Abby blames her for everything, whether it’s true or not, it’s a feeling Lexa can never shake. Her mind instantly goes back to the day she made herself known again, the day she chloroformed Abby to send a message to The Ark.

“I have my own people on the inside,” Abby whispers. “They told me what happened earlier in the day.”

“I’ll bring your daughter back,” Lexa replies.

“How?”

Lexa walks around to the table and holds up the black box.

“Clarke and Raven for the black box?” Abby asks. Lexa nods. “Do you really think it’s as simple as that?”

“No,” Lexa replies honestly. She doesn’t say anything else, she doesn’t need to for Abby to get the message. This is their only choice. While they can try and come up with the plan, The Ark has got the numbers and she simply doesn’t.

“There’s got to be something we can do,” Abby whispers.

Lincoln nods and moves about the apartment, grabbing his jacket and bag. “Octavia and I will go down to the docks to survey the area.”

“I can help,” Aden says, jumping up from his seat.

Lexa shakes her head. “No, you need to sit back and rest.”

“Lexa–”

“–Aden,” Lexa calls back. “This isn’t a game and your health comes first. We’ll find something for you to do.” She waits as Lincoln and Octavia have all their things before speaking up again. “Be careful.”

“We will,” Lincoln says. “We’ll give you a call when we’re there.”

It’s not long before Lincoln and Octavia are off. While it is random that Abby is here now, Lexa knows that she isn’t working for The Ark as a double agent. Despite their differences and everything that’s happened, she knows that they both want the same thing. They both want Clarke back safely. Now it’s a matter of time of trying to make sense of things for Abby.

The biggest thing they have to explain is Becca. Abby is almost at a loss for words when Becca comes through. They were friends a long time ago and Lexa knows all too well about the feelings involved in this current exchange. Because of their history, Becca does tell Abby about her story and how it intertwines with Lexa’s.

Abby is a smart woman and knows that there will be time for catching up later, instead being more interested in how they plan on getting Clarke and Raven back safely. They all know that The Ark will want them dead, so they have to come up with ways to try and avoid that.

 

* * *

 

It’s a long and restless night for all of them. Lincoln and Octavia eventually come back with what they could gather about the area and where they think would be the best areas to be situated. Of course, there’s only so much they can do considering all Jaha told them was the place and time. Exactly how they exchange will go down is a wild guess at this point.

While they know they will be outnumbered, they have to at least try hold their ground. Lexa is against it at first, saying that if it all goes wrong it’s better that only she gets hurt in the process. But everyone else doesn’t want to hear it and goes on with being a part of the plan anyways.

So the plan is for Lexa to go into the boat with explosives wrapped around the black box. Jaha wants the box in tact so it’s a precaution Lexa knows she needs in order to have a chance at making it out alive. Anya and Lincoln will be on the snipers, Octavia and Abby are going inside the boat as well (hopefully undetected from the Ark agents) whilst Aden and Becca stay at the safe house and be an extra set of eyes through the cameras on the docks.

Lexa pulls up to the docks on her motorcycle, alone. Her team left a lot earlier during the day to set up and make sure they get the best advantage points for the mission. She’s got the box in her backpack, a handgun in her belt and a knife in her shoe (even though she knows she’ll be searched the moment she enters the boat).

“ _I count seven agents on deck,”_ Anya says through the earpiece.

 _“Heavily armed,”_ Lincolns adds, “ _Be careful.”_

Lexa hums in response and takes a couple of deep breaths before slowly making her way to towards the boat. It’s a big boat, old, rusty. There’s a few shipping containers on board and she can just make out the agents walking across the deck there.

“ _We’re in position,”_ Octavia whispers. “ _We’ll come find you Lexa.”_

 _“Take the pill now, Lexa,”_ Becca instructs.

Lexa reaches into her pocket to retrieve a small clear pill. It’s a temporary biometric tracking device, something Darren gave them to help with this mission. It’s similar to the chip that The Ark gives their agents, but a lot less advanced (and definitely doesn’t double as a kill chip). Lexa places the pill in her mouth and swallows the thing, there’s no taste but it does leave her feeling a little uneasy.

When she gets to the ramp that leads to the top of the boat, Lexa takes a couple more deep breaths. All seven agents are now looking down at her, their guns hot and ready to go if she makes any unexpected moves. “I’m going in,” she whispers. Her team respond with variations of “good luck” and “we’ve got your back” before she takes out her earpiece, drops it to the floor and smashes it with her foot.

Lexa makes it halfway up the ramp before one the agents is yelling for her to stop. “You don’t need the backpack,” he says.

“The box is in there,” Lexa replies.

“Then take it out, slowly. Any funny business and we’ve got orders to shoot you.”

Lexa nods and does as she’s told. As she’s pulling out the box, she tells the agents that there are explosives wrapped around it and she’s not letting it go until Clarke and Raven are safe. One of the agents (assumedly) radios over the Jaha and gives him an update before they’re letting her walk up the rest of the ramp.

Two of the agents come and disarm her, searching her as well while she grips onto the box for dear life. Jaha’s giving them a string of instructions through the radio and one of them is to not let anything happen to the box.

It’s not long before she’s surrounded and they’re walking her into the boat. The inside reflects exactly what she expects based on the outside. It’s cold, murky, an eerie presence fills the hallways as they walk through. Occasionally there’s the pitter patter of what she assumes to rats, leaky pipes and the smell is just god awful.

Eventually Lexa is pushed into a room where she instantly sees Jaha and Alie. There’s a sudden movement by the corner which catches her attention; Clarke and Raven are handcuffed to a railing and gagged. Clarke’s muffled screams fill the room and Raven does her best to try and calm her down.

“Clarke, stop,” Lexa pleads. She waits until Clarke settles down a bit, her breathing still erratic but slowly coming catching up to her. “Are you guys okay?” When they both nod, Lexa sees the pain in their eyes. She’s worked with the both of them long enough to know that even they don’t know if they’ll get out of this alive.

“The box,” Jaha requests calmly.

Lexa turns back to him and shakes her head. “Let them go.”

“Do you really think they’ll make it out of here alive?” Alie asks. “We’ve got the place surrounded.”

“Then letting them go shouldn’t be a big deal,” Lexa replies.

Jaha nods but keeps his head held high. “I have to admit; you are a smart woman Lexa Woods.” He starts to slowly circle her, with Lexa following as well. “How’d you deactivate Octavia’s chip?” There’s a small pause before he continues, “Actually, you don’t need to tell me. I already know.”

“We’ve got agents on the way to Darren’s apartment as we speak,” Alie adds.

Lexa grits her teeth and her grip around the box tightens. The three agents who remain in the room notice and lift their guns slightly to ready themselves. Alie then holds up a tablet for Lexa to see. It looks like a live feed and Lexa’s gut instantly sinks. She knows what’s coming. She closes her eyes but the sounds only seem to get louder. There’s a loud bang, followed by a rush of commands before Lexa hears Darren’s voice barely say three words before it suddenly comes to an abrupt stop.

“ _The target is down.”_

“Good,” Alie replies. “Return to base.”

There is nothing that Lexa can say at this point. The words just don’t come out, because another life has been lost because of her. People keep dying in this fight and it’s a horrible reminder that a lot more people will probably die before this is over.

“Enough is enough,” Jaha says. “It is over.”

“Let them go,” Lexa repeats. “And I will surrender myself and the box.”

“NO!” Clarke yells. She’s managed to shake off the gag around her mouth and is trying to fight against the handcuffs. “DON’T DO IT LEXA. GO!”

“I’m sorry,” she mouths to Clarke.

Surprisingly, Jaha lets them have a moment. Lexa turns back to him and he continues, “I’ll tell you what. You surrender yourself and box, and I’ll let Clarke and Raven out of this room. But whether or not they survive getting out of this boat is up to them.”

It’s not an ideal situation but Lexa knows that this is probably the best she’ll get. Hope is a very dangerous thing to go on when they’re stuck in a situation like this. Lexa’s always been a very pragmatic person, she likes plans and structure – she likes to at least have an idea of what’s going to happen. But they could not have planned for this anymore than they already have.

Lexa agrees to the terms, which causes Clarke to retaliate again. Her only focus right now is to get Clarke and Raven out of here and she hopes Abby and Octavia are close enough to help them. As for her own plans to get out of the boat, Lexa’s just going to wing it at this point. Being an agent means that she’s been taught to adapt to changes quickly, and she only hopes that she’s got enough skill to figure her way out.

“Once they’re out, I’ll give you the box,” Lexa tells Jaha.

Jaha nods. “Very well.” He gives his three agents a slight nod, prompting them to walk over to Clarke and Raven. “Even after all this time, the thing we teach you the most is your downfall,” he continues. “What is the one thing we instil into recruits, Lexa?”

“Head over heart,” she whispers.

“That’s right!” he replies, “Head over heart.”

Lexa lets out a small breath. “You will not get away with this.”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” Alie says, “Your team is going to lose the one thing that binds them all together… _you.”_

Lexa shakes her head but doesn’t reply. Alie is wrong. The thing that binds them all together is their common goal in taking down The Ark. If Lexa doesn’t make it out of this alive, she has full trust that her team will continue on with the fight. Enough and enough and they all know that.

“Lexa…” Clarke pleads.

“Go,” Lexa replies. “Get out of here.”

The agents then abruptly push Clarke and Raven out of the room. There’s banging on the door and Lexa swallows the lump in her throat in anticipation. Fortunately, the banging stops and it sounds like they’re making a run for it. Now there’s nothing else Lexa can do for them.

Placing the box on the ground has Lexa feeling like she’s given up. It’s a hard feeling to fight when she had no plan, no escape route, no idea how the next moments are going to play out. Jaha and Alie just stare at her, the agents still hold up their guns and Lexa goes blank. She should be able to come up with something, _anything,_ but everything she’s learnt and knows goes flying out the window.

“Handcuff yourself to the wall,” Jaha instructs. Once she’s standing where Clarke was just moments before he continues, “You could’ve had everything.”

“At what cost?” Lexa asks.

Jaha smirks. “Even I can admit that you were a visionary, Lexa. Everyone in The Ark looked up to you, respected you.”

“For all the wrong reasons.”

“No,” Jaha shakes his head. “For all the right reason. You gave everyone a sense of hope that The Ark was a good second chance for them.”

Lexa doesn’t entertain the conversation any further, but that doesn’t stop Jaha from going on and on. He sounds like a broken record, once again talking about trust and loyalty and how Lexa’s broken both those things the moment she faked her death. All she can do is roll her eyes and try and block everything out.

 

* * *

 

Fighting against her own people is a sickening thing, but when Clarke’s life is on the line she really doesn’t have a choice. That’s how she finds herself handcuffing the agents she’s brought down to pipes and railings so that they don’t follow her. They look at her and Raven with such disgust and it only makes things worst.

Clarke did not want to leave Lexa. But in a manner of seconds Raven managed to knock some sense into her, saying that they have to get out of the boat before they die themselves. And if they die, then there will be no one to save Lexa.

At this point they’re running through the boat, hoping to find their way out. They have to be careful because Ark agents are looking for them and both Clarke and Raven aren’t in the best condition to fight.

They run into another group of agents, quickly knocking them out one by one. Even though they’re trying to kill them both, it doesn’t get easier trying to defend herself. Once the agents are down, disarmed and locked into a room, they continue on.

Clarke takes the lead in going around one of the corners. She’s got a handgun ready, holding it in front of her just in case someone unexpected comes by. When she sees a figure just up ahead, she gestures for Raven to keep quiet and follow her lead.

As they draw closer the person up ahead seems to duck away from something, causing Clarke to flinch for just a moment. But before anything really registers, the person is surrounded by a couple of Ark agents and trying to fight them off. That’s when Clarke hears Octavia’s voice amongst the fighting.

Without a second thought Clarke and Raven run over and help Octavia fight off the agents. It’s a quick fight, definitely a group of agents who have only recently graduated. Once everything in under control Octavia looks to them, “Are you guys okay?”

Clarke nods. “Lexa she–”

“We have to get out of here first,” Octavia replies. “Too much agents wander the halls, there’s no way we can get back to Lexa without dying in the process.”

“Are the others here?” Raven asks.

“Yes,” Octavia nods. And before anyone else can say anything, Octavia is running off and calling for Clarke and Raven to follow.

They run down a couple of halls, dodging groups of agents as best as they can. They do still run into some, but they manage to make it a quick knock out so that they can keep going. Eventually, the hit the top deck but the moment they’re at the surface there are shots fired in their direction.

“GO!” Octavia shouts, “I’ll cover you.” She fires back the general direction of where the bullets are coming from, allowing Clarke and Raven to run and find shelter behind one of the cargo containers.

Once Clarke is in the clear, it’s her turn to cover to Octavia. She shoots what she can as Octavia runs low towards them. “Do you know how many there are?” she asks.

Octavia shakes her head as she tries to catch her breath. She adjusts her earpiece, “Anya? Lincoln?” There’s a pause as Octavia listens to whatever is being said. “I’ve got Clarke and Raven… No Lexa… We have some but not a lot… Alright… Ye…” Octavia suddenly comes to a stop, her eyes widening by the second. “ANYA? LINCOLN?” She pauses. “SHIT!”

“What is it?” Clarke asks, seeing Octavia turn back towards her.

“Ark’s got to Anya and Lincoln,” Octavia replies. She lets out a harsh breath and reloads the gun in her hands.

Raven does the same, “Where were they located?”

Octavia peers around the shipping container for just a second before shots are once again being fired. Clarke pulls her back immediately, “We have to find the ones shooting at us first if we can do anything.”

“There’s at least three of them,” Raven says, “But I haven’t been able to figure out where they all are yet.” They talk amongst themselves for a couple of minutes, trying to work out where the shooters are based on what they know.

But they’re too into their conversation that they don’t hear the quiet footsteps approaching. It’s too late when they realise they’re surrounded by agents who all have guns pointing at them. At this point Clarke, Raven and Octavia know that they cannot fight them all off so they follow orders for now.

They get pushed down the ramp and off the boat. It’s now that they also see Anya and Lincoln being pushed towards them, handcuffed and gagged. The two groups meeting somewhere in the middle of the dock, with Clarke and her team being forced onto their knees.

Clarke watches as Thomas, head of Strike team, carries a conversation with Jaha via radio. Clarke looks over to Anya and Lincoln, who both look down to the floor and look as if they’re deep in a train of thought. She then looks over to Raven who has an unreadable expression on her face, then to Octavia who doesn’t take her eyes off the boat.

The conversation between Thomas and Jaha doesn’t last long, with both Jaha and Alie soon appearing from the boat and walking down the ramp. It’s the longest thirsty seconds of Clarke’s life as Jaha walks towards them. All that’s running through her mind at the moment is Lexa and whether or she’s still alive.

Jaha walks up to them and just shakes his head in disappointment. While he doesn’t say anything, the message is pretty loud and clear. His entourage soon crowds around them and Clarke bites her tongue as she meets the gaze of her fellow agents. It’s not disappointment in their eyes – more like sadness or disbelief. Whatever it is, it still hurts.

“It’s over,” Jaha says. He pulls out a control from his pocket, his finger hovering over the button, “Your precious Commander is no more.” Without another word Jaha presses the button and the boat behind him rocks with a series of massive explosions.

Clarke is immediately on her feet in some attempt to run towards the boat, so is Anya. But they’re both knocked back down before they can take even five steps. Clarke feels the struggle to take her next couple of breaths as she watches the black smoke escape from various parts of the boat. There’s a couple more explosion and aftershocks and the flames start to soar from the front end.

While her eyes are on the boat, she does manage to barely hear Jaha say, “Take care of the rest,” to one of the agents. It takes everything in her to peel her eyes away from the boat, but when she does she sees Jaha and Alie walking away towards and SUV that’s ready to go. A couple of agents leave with them as a couple of others stay behind.

The smoke grows and Clarke feels deflated. All that she can see is Lexa, flashes of green eyes and the moments they’ve shared cross her mind like it’s the last time that it’ll ever happen. Beside her, Anya has her head dropped to the floor and Clarke can hear her breathing deeply.

Clarke doesn’t even bother with what’s going on with the agents surrounding her. They’re saying something but it only becomes white noise to her. She reaches over to Anya, who slowly lifts her head up to meet Clarke’s gaze.

There’s something in Anya’s eyes that tells Clarke that their fight isn’t over. They stare at each other for moment, with Clarke making sure she’s reading Anya right. If they’re going to do this they only have one shot – or they will all be killed right here.

Eight Ark agents surround them – six from Strike team and the two remaining from Alpha (Indra and Roan). Though they are outnumbered, with what Clarke knows about everyone’s strength and abilities it would still be a fair fight. It would be a hard one, but not impossible to win. It’s just a matter of getting Raven, Octavia and Lincoln on the same page as them without the Ark agents realising.

What happens next baffles Clarkes. Indra makes a move, knocking Thomas to the ground and instantly Anya is up and fighting as well, despite being in the handcuffs still. Something in Clarke clicks and she’s up, sending a right hook into Carl who aims for her. It’s chaos and she gets just a split of a second to see that Lincoln, Raven and Octavia have joined in on the fight as well.

The fighting continues and Clarke gets hit as much time as she’s sending them. But from the moment Anya gave her the look, she’s found this new burst of energy to keep fighting. There’s a quick realisation that this couldn’t be for nothing. Clarke needs to see this through, for Lexa and everything Lexa has put into this.

When four agents are down, Clarke feels herself being pulled away by Octavia. “Your mother was on the boat,” she says.

“What?”

“We went in together as backup and got separated.”

Clarke makes a sprint back towards the boat, with Anya right on her tail as she finds a second to escape her handcuffs. With Indra’s help, Lincoln, Octavia and Raven handle the rest of the Ark agents. By the time they get to the boat, the ramp is covered in flames and there is no way to get on. They both run along the length of the ship, trying to see for any signs of movement.

It’s not until they reach the end do they hear a big splash. Clarke looks over into the water, holding her breath as she hopes and prays for any signs of her mum or Lexa. When she sees her mum come up for air, Clarke is immediately diving in.

“MUM!” she calls out.

“Clarke?!”

Clarke swims closer until she’s helping her mum stay afloat. “Are you okay?”

Abby nods and coughs out some of the water. “Lexa,” her mum breathes, “We made it out and we both jumped.”

“Lexa’s alive?” Clarke asks.

Abby nods furiously, coughing some more. She reaches for some debris that floats near them, clinging on and pushing Clarke away in the process. “I’m okay,” she whispers. “Look for Lexa.”

Clarke nods, takes a deep breath and swims under the water. It is dark and murky and even in the water she can feel the heat from the burning boat above her. She has to come up for air not long after, her breathing disrupted by the commotion of the situation.

By now Anya’s in the water also searching for Lexa and Lincoln is swimming towards Abby to help. Clarke gives Anya a small nod before going under again. It’s no better the second time but it doesn’t stop her from giving it everything she’s got.

When Clarke comes up for air again, she’s exhausted. The pain from the fighting beforehand is really starting to get to her and she’s struggling to keep herself up. Just as she’s about to go under water again Anya’s coming up with a sight Clarke is so grateful for. Lexa is unconscious in Anya’s arms.

Clarke swims over immediately and helps. Everything in her is screaming pain and she feels like she’s broken beyond repair at his point but something keeps her going. Whether it’s adrenalin, fear, courage or maybe love – it’s enough to get them back to the docks and in reach for the others to help them up.

They get Lexa out of the water first, and by the time Clarke has two feet on the ground, Lincoln is already performing CPR. Once again, Clarke is hounded with a wave of emotions and it stops her from getting any closer. Instead she just falls to her knees and watches as Lincoln tries everything he can to revive Lexa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _another_ cliffhanger you say?  
>   
>  yes  
>   
> yes and i'm (half) sorry  
>   
> 


	19. recuperation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> moving forward after losing the black box

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you're well. happy reading xx

“ _Get her on the table.”_

_“Grab the oxygen.”_

_“Get my med kit.”_

_“Come on, Lexa.”_

Clarke feels like she’s stuck in a void and everything and everyone around her is moving at super speed. She really feels like she’s been slowed down, moving backwards in fact while her surroundings become almost a blur. Trying to get her mind and body on the same page is proving to be more difficult by the second.  

They’re back at the safe house and Clarke doesn’t really know how she got here. It’s all a blur. She faintly remembers being in the water and looking for Lexa – but that’s about it. Lexa is now lying on the table in a worse state than before, her pulse barely there and the colour from her skin has completely drained.

Becca and Abby surround the table, pulling whatever medical equipment they have close to see if it can help. There’s a lot of commands thrown around and its chaos. Over to one side, Aden and Raven are working frantically at laptops. Lincoln helps with Octavia’s wounds and Anya stays close to Lexa.

Clarke wants to help but she finds herself glued to the chair she’s in. She watches Becca perform a range of familiar (but in this moment, not so familiar) medical procedures, check vitals and do a lot of other things to try and bring Lexa back. There are times when the heart monitor goes flat and Clarke is almost out of her seat. But thankfully, Lexa’s heart rate picks back up moments later.

Eventually Becca and Abby pull back their efforts.

“Is everything okay?” Clarke asks immediately.

Becca nods, grabbing a cloth and cleaning her hands. “She’s stable… for now.”

Clarke lets out a sigh of relief and falls back into the chair. “What now?”

“Now… we wait,” Becca replies. “It’s just a matter of Lexa waking up herself.” She continues to work around Lexa, grabbing blankets and pillows, and also starts cleaning the wounds Lexa’s sustained.

Clarke’s not sure how much time passes but soon enough her mum is coming by with a first aid kit. “Mum, I’m fine,” she whispers. “You’re the one who needs to be checked out.”

Abby shakes her head. “You’re not fine.” She doesn’t say anything else, opening up the first aid kit and tending to her daughter’s wounds.

Clarke lets it be because now she’s got to explain to her mum about the choices she’s made. But for now, Abby doesn’t press or question. They both just sit in silence as Clarke gets taken care of. This time of theirs is a little disheartening and she feels like everything has come crashing down on them. While they’ve had set backs in the past – this one feels like their biggest blunder yet.

The atmosphere in the room continues to drop. There’s a collective feeling of defeat amongst everyone, a little bit of fear and even anger. She knows these people like the back of her hand and Clarke’s never seen them like this before. They all have a common goal, but Lexa is the person that’s brought them all together.

Lexa is the heart of this group.

“She’s going to be alright,” Abby whispers.

Clarke takes a moment to bring herself back to reality. When she does, she feels her mother’s hand on the side of her face and a warm smile that she remembers all too well from her childhood. Bringing her mother into this as well is not something she wanted to do but with everything that’s happened she’s got no energy to fight what she can’t change.

“I’m so sorry,” Clarke says quietly, “This isn’t how– It was never–”

Abby shakes her head and pulls her daughter in close, being mindful of the wounds she has. “It’s okay,” she whispers, “You’re okay.”

Clarke lets herself focus on nothing but her mother’s arms around her for a moment. She takes a couple of deep breaths and tries to articulate what she wants to say. “I have to do this.”

Abby nods softly. “I know.”

“You do?” Clarke asks.

“I do.” Abby pauses and gives Clarke’s hand a reassuring squeeze, “I don’t like it, but I know. To be honest, I’m surprised it didn’t happen sooner.”

“Mum…”

Abby shakes her head and cradles either side of Clarke’s face. Her eyes are soft, her breaths slowly evening out as they all let everything settle. “You are my daughter,” she whispers, “I know you and I know how you think. I know who you are and that once you find something you believe it, you’ll fight like hell for it.”

“Am I doing the right thing though?” Clarke whispers. She knows she doesn’t have to explain further about what she means. The fact that she’s still fighting against her own people is plaguing the back of her mind. While she knows she has to look at the bigger picture, her worries are hard to shake.

“Yes,” Abby replies. “Your father and I did not join The Ark to see what it’s become today.” She pauses and stands up, looking around at the others in the room. Clarke watches as her mum rubs and clears her throat slightly, seemingly getting ready to address everyone in the room. “I’m sorry,” she tells everyone.

Everyone else in the room stills, turning their attention towards Abby.

“I am sorry,” Abby repeats. “The Ark has ruined all your lives and I am partly the reason for it. I did not become a part of this organisation to see it turn into what it is today.”

“Everything changed after we thought Becca died,” Anya says.

Abby nods. “It did and this… program was never meant to go down this road.” She pauses again, taking a good look at everyone who’s looking right back her. “I know a lot of you don’t have any reason to trust me. It’s been years since I’ve seen most of you and I have complicated history with The Ark.”

“What are you saying?” Lincoln asks.

“I’m saying…” Abby trails off, “I’m saying I won’t stand in the way of what you’re doing.”

The statement catches Clarke off guard. She didn’t expect for her mum to address everyone like that, but it means a lot that she did. While they’ve argued more times than not in the past (especially about Clarke staying with The Ark) this feels like a step towards the beginning of the end.

This is Clarke’s defining moment.

A mutual understanding falls between everyone in the room and they all get back to what they were doing. Clarke watches as everyone does _something._ Lexa is still out and they know that they have to keep fighting. Clarke has to keep fighting too. “Mum…” she whispers.

Abby turns back towards Clarke, “Yeah?”

“Will you stay here for now?” Clarke asks. “Help watch over Lexa?”

Abby nods with a small smile. “Of course.” She leans down and kisses the top of Clarke’s head. “I’ll stay as long as you need.”

Clarke nods and watches as her mum return to Lexa’s side. Anya’s there too and the two of them fall into a quiet conversation (presumably about Lexa’s condition). Clarke then drops her head into her hands with the sole focus of refocusing. She can’t just sit here and do nothing – that’s not going to help anyone.

There is a lot to think about and Clarke finds herself wondering how Lexa copes with it all. They might be trained agents but even Clarke finds this very overwhelming. With a couple more deep breath, Clarke starts to organise her thoughts and priorities. With Lexa and everyone else being taken care of, she now needs to think about how they can move forward with what they have.

But then her mind wanders to what they _don’t_ have.

They don’t have the box.

They don’t have a full-proof way into The Ark.

They don’t have Luna (which is something Clarke needs to ask about).

They don’t have the numbers.

At this point Clarke remembers that she also doesn’t have the full story. That’s where she figures she needs to go first. She gives herself a few more moments before making her way to Anya, prompting her to come by one of the tables. Everyone else (other than Abby and Becca) soon catch on and join as well.

“Tell me what happened,” Clarke says. “What happened after Raven and I left the interrogation room to get Lexa out of the chair?”

Anya clears her throat and explains that they fought off the agents that came through. It was long and hard but eventually she, Octavia and Lexa managed to make it out. They made their way down towards the armoury and that’s when they ran into Bellamy and Aden.

Octavia then takes the lead in telling the story. She glosses over the Bellamy part – obviously still trying to process everything between herself and her brother. Aden chimes in as well and gives his perspective on things and how they got back to the safe house.

“What about you?” Lincoln asks. “How did you and Raven get caught?”

“I got to a computer not too far from the interrogation room,” Raven recounts.

Clarke nods, “We were surrounded before we had a chance to escape. It’s not like they were going to kill us without questioning us first.”

Clarke stops and Lincoln goes on to explain the Mason story. Part of her is surprised, but the other part of her isn’t. In the wake of this war, all the Reapers have turned against The Ark and that only shows how broken the actual organisation is (which is good news for them because it makes it that little bit easier to bring down). Mason’s story does peek her curiosity, especially with him giving up the box so easily.

Part of Clarke ignores the feeling that washes through her when she learns that Lexa traded the black box for them. It’s bittersweet. She doesn’t want to die but trading in the black box is a big step back for them (this is where she also learns that this is the reason why Luna isn’t around). It makes her feel like this is all on her and that she needs to really step up while Lexa is out.

Abby also speaks out, letting everyone know that Indra’s been the one keeping her in the loop since leaving The Ark. It’s mostly been updates on Clarke and just making sure she’s alright. But since Lexa’s been back – they’ve talked a lot more. It makes sense to Clarke, considering Indra’s move at the docks. Maybe they have an ally in Indra and that would be invaluable to them moving forward. The only problem is that since she’s made herself known – Indra has now gone dark.

After some more minor details, it seems like everyone is caught up with what’s happened so far. It might not be much, but it’s something and that’s better than nothing. Once the conversation dies down, they take a moment to remember Darren. While none of them knew him too well he was a big help and they’re all so sorry that he got caught in the middle of it all.

Aden and Raven work together to finding Darren’s next of kin and to set up procedures to monitor the investigation that’s surely to follow. While they know that The Ark will have cover story ready for the hit, they still want to keep on top of it. Clarke knows they have more pressing matters to concern themselves with, but she finds it hard _not_ to care – everyone else too. This is what separates them from The Ark.

But right now emotions are running high and they all need some time to clear their minds. Working on a plan to move forward will only result in rash decisions that will most likely lead to them butting heads on what they should do. They can’t do anything tonight so Clarke thinks that the best move for them is for everyone to get some rest before coming back together the following day.

 

* * *

 

Anya definitely agrees with the announcement Clarke makes. They all need time to rest and regather their thoughts – even she needs it. This is the most hectic mission she’s been on in her career as an agent and she’s been on a lot of missions. This is the be all of end all missions though. This is the mission that will set them all free, well as free as they can be from this life.

 She eventually leaves Lexa’s side, grabbing her bag and making her way up towards the roof. The sun is setting and despite everything she’s going through right now, Anya manages to find the beauty in the scene before her. The skies are a tinge of orange as the sun disappears behind the city skyline. Slowly, the lights of the city flicker open and it’s just a sight that manages to ease Anya slightly.

Anya finds an old chair, pulls it right to the edge of the roof and makes herself comfortable. She grabs a cigarette from her bag, lights it and puts her feet up on the ledge. It’s a dirty habit, one that she is trying to shake but right now she just needs to get her mind off of everything. Anya leans back into the chair and lets out a ring of smoke above her.

“ _Can you teach me how to do that?”_

Anya continues the rings until there’s no more smoke in her mouth. She doesn’t turn around to meet Octavia though, instead her eyes falling back to the city before her. “Do you even smoke?” she asks.

“No,” Octavia replies quietly. It’s a couple of seconds of quiet before she continues, “Mind if I join you?”

Anya shakes her head. “There’s another chair around the corner.” She waits and it’s not even a minute later that Octavia comes to sit beside her, her feet coming to rest up on the ledge as well.  Anya admires Octavia, she does. It takes quite the person to agree to infiltrate The Ark, it also takes quite a person to do what she’s manage to do while undercover.

Arguably, they’ve been working together the entire time. But Anya knows that her relationship to Octavia is very different to the relationship Octavia has with Lexa. She sees a lot of Lexa (and ultimately, herself) in Octavia and rightfully so. There isn’t a lot of people Anya trusts whole heartedly and Octavia’s managed to slip into that category.

Soon enough Anya points out towards the skyline. “You see the building by bridge?” she asks.

Octavia sits up a little straighter in the chair, lifting her head to check the building out. “The one left of the hospital?” Anya hums in response. “Yeah, I do.”

“That’s the James Hunter law firm,” Anya whispers, “That’s my brother’s law firm.”

“You have a brother?” Octavia asks, clearly shocked and surprised.

“ _Had,”_ Anya corrects quietly. She stops for a moment and stares at the building (which is pretty fairly small from where she is) and thinks about the few happy memories from her childhood. It’s not something she talks about, ever, but she feels like Octavia might need it with what’s going on with her own brother.

“Carson James,” Anya whispers.

There’s a pause. “Wow… managing partner,” Octavia comments. “What about Ark protocol for siblings of recruits and agents?”

“They don’t know about him.” Anya pauses and takes another drag from her cigarette. “I ran away from home when I was 16 and lied to The Ark and told them my name was Anya Carson.”

“…Instead of Anya James.”

Anya nods. The name Carson is the one thing she’s held onto from her past life. Her brother, Carson, saved her more times than she can count. He tried everything and anything to get her back onto the right road during her teenage years but it was no use. Anya didn’t want to be saved. Back then she was reckless, didn’t have a care in the word and rebelled against anyone who tried to help her.

Her parents were sick of it and just let her do her own thing. But Carson, he kept fighting. Part of Anya hated him for it. She just wanted to be left alone but he never listened. He fought hard, strong and for a long time. Anya hated his perseverance and one day just dropped that life and ran away.

The Ark picked her up a couple of months later and that’s where that story begins.

“How long has it been since you’ve seen him?” Octavia asks.

“I don’t remember,” Anya replies honestly. “We lived on the other side of the country… when I ran away I ended up here.”

“And he ended up here too?” Octavia asks. “Fuck, out of all the cities.”

Anya nods. “I know…” She pauses again. “He’s got a good life… he’s married… he has a daughter named _Anya.”_

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“You have a niece,” Octavia whispers. She smiles and Anya is kind of grateful that she’s trying to lighten up the moment.

But Anya shakes her head slightly, “Blood doesn’t always mean family,” she whispers. “And the last thing they need is me coming into their lives.”

“Maybe when all of this is all over?”

Anya shakes her head again. “We’ll never be completely out of danger, you know that right?”

“Yeah.”

“Even when this is all over, our past will haunt us.” She pauses and takes another drag. “We’ve seen too much, we’ve done too much.”

“Not at our own free will though.”

“Still,” Anya argues, “The blood is still on our hands, even if it’s shared with Jaha.”

They go silent again, and Anya finishes her cigarette. She rubs the butt of it into the ground before leaving it by the chair for the time being. Octavia sits beside her, hands rubbing her face as she lets the conversation settle between them. While the situation with her own brother is different to that of the Blake’s, Anya thinks that maybe she can still help in some way.

“Are you saying I should cut all ties with my brother?” Octavia asks eventually. “Move on? Become managing partner in my own law firm?”

“No,” Anya replies.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

Anya nods softly and stretches her arms above her head. “I’m saying… you need to make a decision so that you can move on. Whether you work on mending things with your brother or not, figure out what you want.” She pauses. “You beat yourself up because you think you _have_ to fix things just because he’s your brother, but you don’t. Again, blood does not necessarily mean family.” There’s another pause as Anya lets out a small sigh. “But of course that doesn’t mean you have to cut him out of your life if you don’t want to,” she reminds Octavia. “My relationship between my brother is different to yours and Bellamy’s.”

“That’s the most I’ve ever heard you say,” Octavia replies.

Anya manages a small laugh. “I’m being serious.”

“I know.”

“Ignoring that you and your brother are on different sides of the same war,” Anya continues, “You need to figure this out for yourself.”

Octavia lets out a rather loud sigh. “Mending things with Bellamy can only happen if he no longer sides with the Ark. I can’t see it working any other way.”

“That’s something you have to figure out between you and him.”

“Yeah… I guess.” Octavia then lifts herself off the chair slightly, grabbing her phone from her back pocket.

“You’re going to call him now?” Anya asks.

“Yeah,” Octavia replies, “It’s just going to keep distracting me if I don’t at least start figuring it out now. Do you need me?”

Anya shakes her head. “Are you going to meet him? Do you want backup?”

Octavia shakes her head as well, “I’ll be fine.” She’s already halfway to the door before she’s yelling, “If anything with Lexa changes, let me know!” back to Anya.

Anya raises her hand in acknowledgement. When she hears the door slam behind her she lets herself fall right back into the chair, huffing in the process. Her eyes inevitably fall back on Carson’s law firm. For a moment she lets herself think about a life that could have been if she hadn’t run away. It’s not a thought she entertains often since she knows better, but for right now she lets her mind wander.

From time to time she checks up on her brother, to make sure that things are going okay in his life. Anya owes him a lot so if she can help (even anonymously and from the sidelines) she will. The years have treated him well, so has life. His daughter is a spitting image of him and knowing that he’s out there living and enjoying life is something that always manages to ground Anya.

About fifteen minutes pass before Anya feels someone take the empty seat beside her. It’s Clarke. With one quick glance Anya takes in a lot from the other woman. They’ve known and worked with each other for years now and they’ve become quite familiar to what each of them is feeling. Clarke’s eyes are red and puffy and her general presence has dropped from her usual self.

It’s no surprise though but Anya doesn’t say anything when Clarke sits down. She knows that Clarke is here with her because she needs some quiet time. Lexa is still out and they both are probably feeling the same thing. While they both want to believe everything will be okay, they need to be realistic about it all.

They can’t make light of the state Lexa is in. She’s taken the worst beating of them all and Anya isn’t surprised by her resilience. It’s one of thing that she admires most about Lexa. But they all know that one person can only handle so much. It hurts. Lexa is the closest thing she has to having a family now, so seeing her attacked over and over again is always gut-wrenching.

“Octavia said she’s going to see Bellamy,” Clarke whispers. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

Anya nods. “She needs to figure things out with Blake as soon as she can.” She pauses, takes a deep breath and looks up to the sky. She sees the first star of the night. “We’re not doing anything tonight so I told her to go. She’s someone that needs to keep moving.”

Clarke lets out half a chuckle. “She reminds me so much of you and Lexa.”

“I did train Lexa and Lexa did train her.”

“Do you think you could have done it?” Clarke asks.

“What?”

“Infiltrate The Ark like she did,” Clarke clarifies.

“I don’t know,” Anya replies. “I want to believe that I could.”

“You basically did though,” Clarke argues.

Arguably, Clarke isn’t wrong. Anya played the loyal agent for four years while Lexa trained Octavia. But playing a loyal agent and infiltrating The Ark as a mole are two very different roles. Anya definitely thinks she had it easier between the two of them. She had a position within The Ark, a respected role and she was trusted. Octavia had to start from the beginning, earn trust and respect from rock bottom and make her way up through the ranks.

Anya shrugs. “Me and Octavia had very different roles.”

“True,” Clarke agrees, “Very different, but equally as important.”

“You’re important in this too, Clarke.” The words slip before Anya can stop herself. But it’s true. Clarke is very important moving forward. They all are. If they’re going to take down The Ark they need all they can get. It’s another thing that separates them from The Ark – their team members are valuable and not dispensable like they are in The Ark.

 It’s another couple of minutes of silence before Clarke speaks up again. “Raven’s going to take out her tracker soon. You should go down there.”

“I don’t think she wants me there,” Anya whispers.

“Come on…”

Anya shakes her head and lets out a small sigh. Her relationship with Raven has come to stop since everything came out. While Anya hasn’t let it shown, she is hurting. She’s been with Raven for years now and while they haven’t put a label on their relationship, she knows she loves Raven. With the exception of Lexa, Raven’s the only other person who’s manage to crack down her walls.

But there’s Ark life, then there’s real life. Being an Ark agents means that your real life no long exists. Agent exist for The Ark and the Ark only. Anything that could get in the way of The Ark’s purpose, the Ark takes.

Love is one of those things.

 _Love is weakness_ , they say.

But it’s not. Not when Anya thinks about the love she has for Raven. Or the love she sees between Clarke and Lexa.

No, love is not weakness.

Love is strength.

But Anya thinks that loving someone means that she needs to give them the space she thinks they want. This is what she’s doing with Raven. Since Raven found out, she’s kept her distance but remain close just in case. What they have is too strong to throw away without talking about it, at least that’s how Anya feels.

“I lied to her for four years,” Anya whispers. She will apologise to Raven every day if that’s what it takes. She’s sorry for hurting Raven, but she isn’t sorry about what she did. She would do it all the same if they were to do it again. The goal was always the bigger picture. “I thought about telling her, but I couldn’t risk it. I had to keep Lexa safe, myself, Octavia…”

“I understand,” Clarke replies. “I think Raven does too.”

“She says the bare minimum to me these days.”

Clarke doesn’t reply straight away, stretching her arms above her head before yawning. “She just doesn’t know where to start.” Another pause. “Just talk to her. Like you say, you just got to start. Start with whatever you have; fear, doubt, courage… _love.”_

Anya nods and lets her own words settle. She and Clarke don’t usually talk like this, but she’s grateful for this moment. Over the years they’ve learnt their place with each other, when to talk, when not to talk, what to say and what not to say.

“The Ark is wrong Anya,” Clarke whispers, “Love is not weakness.”

“If you tell anyone that we had this conversation, I will cut off your fingers.”

Clarke smiles softly. “I wouldn’t dare.”

 

* * *

 

As Octavia leaves Anya on the roof, she’s met with an organised chaos back in the common room of the safe house. Becca, Aden and Raven all sit at their laptops, working frantically at something. Even she can tell that they aren’t running down leads at the moment, but something else is going on.

“We’re being hacked,” Clarke explains.

“Hacked?” Octavia asks. “We don’t really have anything on our systems.”

Clarke shrugs and explains a little further into what she knows so far. Neither of them are particularly good at computers, so they both stand back for the time being. Becca releases a string of commands and Aden and Raven follow without any problem or hesitation.

Octavia moves to stand behind Raven, but makes sure that she isn’t hovering. She watches as the lines and lines of code run across the screen, her eyes barely keeping up with what’s in front of her. It is impressive what the three of them are doing, especially since it seems like they’re having a telepathic conversation at this point.

“Okay,” Becca whispers, “They’re out.”

“Did they get anything?” Clarke asks.

“Not that I can tell…” Aden answers, “I’m running a check to see now.”

Becca sits back in her chair, her typing slowing down quite dramatically. “Whoever it was, they were good.”

“But they’re out now?” Octavia asks.

Becca nods and turns to Aden, “Aden, can you stay on top of this? I need to help get Raven’s tracker out.”

Aden nods. “Can do,” he replies.

“Do you need any help?” Octavia asks. While she needs to go see her brother, if she’s needed then she’ll stay. At least here she knows that she can be of help. When she goes to see her brother it might be a different story.

“It’s okay,” Becca replies. “The procedure isn’t as scary as your one.”

The mood in the room lightens momentarily. “Okay,” Octavia nods, “I’m going to head out for a while, I’ll be back later.” She looks around the room, “Does anyone need anything?”

They all shake their head and whisper a general response of “no.” She then moves about the place to gather a few of her things. She takes a gun, just in case. While she doesn’t have intention to use it she doesn’t know what she’s going to run into. It’s always better to be prepared.

“Where are you going?” Clarke asks.

“I need to talk to Bellamy,” Octavia replies. It surprises her how easily she tells Clarke, but continues on packing her bag. Before Clarke can say anything else though, Octavia swings her backpack over her shoulder, puts on her sunglasses and takes the keys to the motorcycle. “If anything with Lexa changes, will you let me know?”

All Clarke offers is a simple nod.

 

Octavia meets Bellamy in an old run-down diner about twenty minutes away. She’s the first to arrive, sitting alone in the corner booth where she has a clear view of the entire place. It’s also the closest place to an emergency exit if she needs it.

Patricia, the waitress, comes by and fills her mug with coffee before walking off again. Octavia really doesn’t know where the conversation with her brother is going to go but she needs a start. It’s been back and forth since the beginning of it all and frankly, she’s sick of the uncertainty between them.

She finishes her second cup of coffee before Bellamy makes an appearance. Octavia’s quick to survey the area, checking out the other people in the diner as well as outside.

“I’m alone,” Bellamy says as he takes a seat across from her. “I was surprised to see your message.”

“I’m surprised you came,” Octavia replies.

“You’re my sister.”

The response has Octavia’s chest clenching slightly. While they are brother and sister, she feels like their relationship has been nothing short of catastrophic. Siblings fight, yes, but they don’t situate themselves on the opposite side of the same war.

“How’s Aden?” he asks.

“He’s fine,” Octavia replies, “Recovering.”

“So he really was shot?”

Octavia nods. She can’t tell if he’s being sincere or just filling the silence. Either way, it is kind of welcome because she doesn’t quite know where to start yet.

“And Clarke? Raven?”

Octavia raises an eyebrow, ignoring the fact that he didn’t ask about Lexa. “Do you actually care?” she asks.

He nods.

“They’re fine,” she replies loosely. “Recovering...”

Another round of silence falls between them. Octavia wraps her fingers around her mug, reeling in the heat that emits itself from the porcelain. 

“It’s more chaotic than ever in The Ark,” he whispers. “Jaha says Lexa is dead. Word is that she was on a boat that exploded?”

Octavia is careful how she words her response. She nods slowly, “Yeah, she was on the boat when it exploded.”

“I’m sorry.”

It takes everything in Octavia to not roll her eyes. The atmosphere between them definitely becomes a little more tense, but she pushes through.

“So Jaha’s gone dark and Alie is in command for the time being.” He pauses again and waits for some sort of response or reaction but he gets none. “But you already knew that, didn’t you?”

Octavia doesn’t respond as Patricia comes back around and fills both their cups with coffee again. Their order is also taken; some toast for both Octavia and Bellamy.

“Can I ask you something?” Bellamy says.

Octavia nods. “Sure. I might not answer though.”

“Did Jaha try to kill you?”

Instantly Octavia lets out a minor scoff. There’s a turn in her gut again because imagine if she didn’t deactivate her chip earlier in the day. She would be dead and god only knows what else would have happened if she didn’t make it out today. But it’s in the way she doesn’t respond that Bellamy gets his answer. His hands clench into fists on the table and there’s a visible shift in his overall demeanour.

“How did you make it out?” he asks.

“Do you really want to know?”

He doesn’t respond right away. “Yes,” he whispers.

“ _Lexa_ ,” Octavia answers. She takes another sip of her coffee before continuing. She explains that the chips recruits take when they graduate to agents are also kills chips and it’s obviously news to him. She tells him that Lexa’s been working on a way to deactivate the chip for her, which leads to information about Darren and eventually then to her deactivating the thing earlier in the day.

Bellamy doesn’t say anything the entire time but Octavia can see his mind working to process everything. There’s no easy way to explain the things she needs to explain and there’s no point in beating around the bush.

Patricia comes back and places the plate of toast between the two, wishing them a good meal before leaving once again. Silence falls between them and it seems to draw out longer per second. Everything Octavia wants to say and ask jumbles itself on the tip of her tongue, causing her to falter and remain quiet.

“Whatever you want to say, just say it,” Bellamy prompts. He’s not here to beat around the bush either.

Octavia takes another sip of her coffee before placing the mug back down on the table. “We can’t have both,” she whispers.

“What?”

“ _Us,”_ she clarifies, “We can’t have both. We can’t try and mend whatever is left of our relationship while on opposite sides of this war.”

“Octavia…”

Octavia shakes her head. She reaches for a piece of toast, takes a small bite and instantly feels like she’s going to throw up. “I’ve been pretty naïve this whole time, thinking that we could have it both ways.”

“We can.”

Octavia scoffs. "This isn't me preferring pepsi to coke, Bellamy. This is life or death."

"That's a little dramatic, don't you think?"

"That's  _this_ life of ours," Octavia argues. "You know Darren... the guy who helped deactivate my chip..." 

"Yeah..."

"He's dead. Alie and Jaha sent a team to kill him because all he did was help us." She pauses, puts down the toast and takes another sip of her coffee. “We can’t have both,” she repeats in a soft voice. “We have conflicting opinions on The Ark and it’s not something I can ignore, not after everything.”

“You only know Lexa’s side of it all. Now she’s gone, who will lead you now?”

“I don’t just know Lexa’s side,” she argues. “I have my own side in all of this. I went through the recruit program, I graduated, I became an agent myself.”

“All tainted with your bias though.”

“Really?” Octavia laughs.

“Really. You don’t know what this place has done for me.”

“What have they done for you?” Octavia counters. “Take you away from your sister? Force you to become an assassin? Turned you and everyone on the inside into a monster?”

Bellamy goes quiet. “Are you saying that if I want you in my life then I have to what? Jump ship?” he asks.

Octavia nods. “You don’t have to jump onto my ship, but you do have to jump.”

“You’re giving me an ultimatum.”

“If you want to put it in those words, yes,” Octavia replies. It’s just that she really doesn’t see a future with her brother if they remain on opposite sides of all of this. Being on opposite sides means that their belief in what is right and what is wrong clashes immensely. It’s not a small thing either, this is a life altering moment they’re going through.

Octavia drinks the rest of her coffee before pulling out her bag and placing a twenty dollar note on the table. She gets up and leaves with one final thing, “If there is any chance that I can have you in my life, I want it. So the ball is in your court, Bell.”

 

* * *

 

“Take a seat at the table,” Becca instructs, “Shirt off.”

Raven nods and follows her instructions without saying much else. She gives Aden one final look, making sure he’s okay to keep monitoring the potential hack they just saved the systems from. Part of her feels a little out of place here. She swallows the lump in her throat and takes a seat at the table, looking around the room.

Aden is working at his laptop.

Lincoln is on a call to someone.

Octavia’s just left to go somewhere.

Anya is up on the roof with Clarke.

Becca and Abby hover over Lexa, who still is out on another table.

To say that it’s been a crazy couple of days would be an understatement. Raven’s been caught right in the middle of all of this. Every moment since the Ice Nation incident has been a blur for her and she doesn’t quite know where to go from here.

Part of her always knew that this moment was going to happen, flipping sides. But what threw a spanner into the works was finding out about Clarke and Anya. At first she didn’t handle it well (she probably still isn’t) but now she understands. She understands why Clarke’s done the things she done and she understands Anya’s choices too.

That’s not to say it doesn’t hurt though, because it does.

Her Ark life is the only life she really knows. It’s just a job to her, but she’s found a family within The Ark. If the Ark has been good at one thing, it’s that, it’s giving her people to call home. It’s definitely an odd thought but The Ark has never been a place for “normal” thoughts.

Clarke has been her best friend since the beginning of it all. They’ve been through the best and worst of times together, each of them lifting the other up in a way they needed. It’s hard to find someone you click so well with and if that wasn’t already great, they worked well together when out on the field. Raven trusts Clarke whole heartedly and vice versa.

Then there’s Anya. The last thing Raven would have expected out of this life was to find the love of her life, but she has. While they haven’t labelled their relationship in the time they’ve been together, they both have a mutual understanding about it. She doesn’t doubt that Anya loves her, but Raven knows that love and The Ark is a dangerous mix.

Raven is drawn out of her thoughts has Becca walks towards her. She peels off her shirt, throws it to the side and lies flat against the table. Unexpectedly her heart rate picks up and her breathing becomes a little unsteady.

“Relax,” Becca whispers, “You won’t feel a thing.”

Raven nods and tries to settle her breathing. Becca is also something she was not expecting out of all of this. For her it’s easy to not see Alie though since Becca was her mentor a long time ago. Even now, Becca is nothing like Alie. She’s a little softer, quieter and her presence isn’t as demanding as Alie’s.

But it will always be weird since Raven thought she’s been dead all this time (sometimes it still shocks her that Lexa is still alive).

“You must have a lot of questions,” Becca says as she starts to clean Raven’s skin.

Raven scoffs slightly. “That’s an understatement.”

“Are you going to stay?”

“What?”

“After I take out your tracker?” Raven raises an eyebrow so Becca continues, “You have a choice, Raven. Lexa isn’t going to force you to stay. Once I’m done here, you’re free.”

“None of us will ever be truly free,” Raven replies.

Becca hums. “I guess you’re right.” She pauses. “But if you do decide to stay then I’ll tell you anything you want to know.”

Raven avoids answering the question even though she has an answer. She thinks about it for a moment and she realises that she never had any intentions of running away. This is now her fight as much as it is everyone else’s. She won’t be able to forgive herself if anything happens to anyone one of these people she really cares about.

“I’m giving you the anaesthetic now…” Becca whispers.

Raven nods in response and braces herself for the pinch she feels against her hip one. It’s not just the one, but it’s nothing more than a slight prick against her skin.

Becca leans over slightly and offers a small smile. “I’ll be back in five minutes. I’m just going to check on Lexa again.”

“Is she okay?” Raven asks, trying to move her head to see.

Becca nods. “She’s fine. It’ll just take a couple of minutes for the anaesthetic to set it.”

“Oh, right.” Raven relaxes against the table as best she can, closing her eyes as she feels Becca walk away from the table. She doesn’t think of much during this time, instead just enjoying the quiet moment she has to herself for the time being. Everything around her drops for the moment and it’s just her, in a state of mind that lets her feel at ease – which is something she hasn’t felt in a while.

It’s when someone is pulling a chair up towards the table that she opens her eyes again. It’s Anya. Raven can count on one hand the amount of times she’s seen Anya this… _soft._

  1. Their first kiss
  2. The time Anya told her about her brother
  3. The day Lexa “died”
  4. And now



“You okay?” Raven asks.

Anya nods but doesn’t say anything else. Instead she scoots her chair just that little bit closer, and lets out a small sigh. She drops her head and closes her eyes, “I’m sorry.”

Raven reaches for Anya’s hand, intertwining their fingers together. “We’ll be okay,” she whispers.

Anya looks up, clearly not expecting the gesture. “We’ll be okay,” Raven repeats. “We’ll talk later if that’s okay with you.”

“Of course.”

“Stay with me while Becca takes out my tracker?”

Anya nods again.

“Come here,” Raven breathes. She pulls at Anya’s hand, initiating a soft kiss between the two of them. It doesn’t last long, but it’s enough to say silently say the things they want to say to each other.

Anya backs away once the kiss ends, falling back into the chair. Raven settles herself as well, closing her eyes and holding onto Anya’s hand a little tighter. “Where’s Clarke?” Raven asks.

“Still on the roof,” Anya replies.

“Is she okay?”

“As okay as any of us can be.”

Raven lets out another rather long sigh. While not being okay is something they’re all quite use to, this time it is so much different. It doesn’t seem like any of them can suppress the feeling like they usually do.

There’s grief.

_Sorrow._

_Anger._

_Defeat._

There’s a bit of everything.

Becca and Abby soon come by with their kit and start setting up. Raven closes her eyes, counts to ten and doesn’t let go of her grip on Anya’s hand.

“Ready?” Becca asks.

Raven nods. “Ready.”

 

* * *

 

By 9pm, Clarke is out of the safe house and just down the road at a small pizza restaurant. She sits in the corner waiting for her order. Whether or not she or any of the other guys can stomach food at this point is unknown, but having the option to eat is still better than nothing.

While she didn’t want to leave Lexa’s side, she really needs a moment away from everyone. At this point they all are a team but even Clarke needs to be alone sometimes. Plus, Lexa is in very capable of hands and if anything does happen all Clarke has to do is run for a couple of minutes and she’ll be back in no time.

Being alone just gives her a chance to think about things at her own pace. When she’s with her people she feels this pressure to constantly have an idea or something to say. Sure she’s trained to be able to think fast but this is new territory for them all. And while the restaurant has other patrons in it, they’re all strangers to her. No one in this place gives a damn about what she’s going through and that’s exactly what she needs right now.

There is so much on her mind right now and all she can focus on is how Lexa has done it all this time. What they’re doing now is obviously the biggest thing they’ve done in their “Ark careers.” Clarke doesn’t think that all her training could have prepared her for something like this. But then again, if anyone could pull something like this off it would be Lexa.

“ _ELIZA!”_

Clarke perks her head up, pockets her phone and makes her way to the counter to get her order. But the moment she steps outside of the restaurant she gets an uneasy feeling… like someone is watching her. She subtly looks around, but nothing looks out of place or out of the ordinary.

Cautiously, she makes her way back to the safe house. Occasionally she’ll look back or into a mirror to see if there is anyone following her and surely enough she spots someone. They’re in a black hoodie and considering that the streets are not lit very well, it’s almost impossible to figure out who it is.

Obviously Clarke has to do something about it. She takes turns away from the safe house and hopes to find an alley way of some sorts. If it’s just the one person tailing her she k that she’ll be able to take them on by herself. If it comes to it, she is armed.

Her steps are quicker and she’s on high alert now. Looking back, she manages to make out the figure coming towards her and ducks into an alleyway. Clarke places the pizza boxes on the ground, grabs her weapon and waits for her cue. The figure strides past her, obviously not aware that she’s hiding off to the side.

Clarke approaches from behind, pushing the person right towards the brick wall. “Why are you following me?!” she whispers rather harshly.

“ _Clarke,”_ he breathes.

Immediately Clarke flips the person around, her forearm pressing against the person’s neck. “Monty?!” she asks. “What the hell are you doing following me?”

Keeping her forearm against Monty’s neck, Clarke holsters her gun and pats him down with her free hand. Monty is someone she trusts but given the situation they’re in she has to take every precaution necessary. He has a gun and a knife, which Clarke takes for the time being. She also takes his phone, instructing for Monty to take out the sim and destroy it. Surprisingly he follows her instructions without any hesitation.

Clarke releases him and crosses her arms over her chest, “Explain.”

Monty rubs his throat slightly, letting out a series of small coughs. “I guess I should have expected that given that I tried to tail an Ark agent.”

“ _Former,”_ Clarke corrects.

“Former Ark agent,” he repeats. “Are you okay?”

Clarke lets out a small sigh and drops her guard a level, she knows (hopes) Monty poses no harm to her.

“I know what happened at the docks,” he continues, “Jaha told me to wipe the cameras but I still caught on to what happened.”

“I’m okay,” Clarke lies.

Monty definitely doesn’t buy it but continues anyways, “And the others? Raven? Aden?”

“They’re all okay.”

“And Lexa?”

“She was on the boat when it exploded,” Clarke replies. “We did get her out of the water but…” she trails and shakes her head. She doesn’t know why he’s here so she definitely isn’t going to confirm that Lexa had made it out of the explosion alive.

“I’m so sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry,” Clarke replies. “But I do need you to tell me why you’re following me, Monty. I don’t have time for games.”

Monty nods. “No games. I’m here to help.”

“What?”

Monty doesn’t waste anymore time and goes on to explain why he’s here. He’s figured out that Becca is still alive. Every hacker leaves a trace and while Becca’s is like a hair strand in an open paddock, Monty cracked it. It wasn’t easy. But Becca was his mentor after all, so he knew what to look for and what to do to confirm that it was Becca in the Ark system.

He doesn’t stagger too long on the fact that Becca is still alive, but continues on with saying that he wants to help. Everything that Lexa has done has only pushed him to see The Ark for what it truly is. He is sick and tired of the way they control him and everyone on the inside. Enough is enough.

Jaha thinks that Lexa is dead but it’s still chaos in The Ark. Everyone now knows that Indra has gone rogue, that Aden and Raven are gone and it’s causing more of an uprising. Alie and Kane are doing everything they can to settle the organisation but it’s definitely proving a bigger task than anyone expected.

Clarke studies her friend before her, trying to make sure that he’s saying the absolute truth. This could easily be a ploy; The Ark could be forcing him to do this but her gut is telling her that it’s okay. She just wants to make sure it’s her trained instincts and not just because Monty is a friend.

“How did you find me?” Clarke asks.

“It wasn’t easy,” Monty sighs, “I tried to hack into your system but I’m guessing Becca was the one to kick me out.”

“That was you?”

Monty nods. “I just wanted to find your location. When that failed I pinged your mum’s phone to this area since she was with you at the docks.”

“And you were just wandering the area? Hoping one of us would show?”

Monty nods. “I saw Octavia in the area but I wasn’t going to tail her. I don’t think she would have trusted me.”

“Good call.”

“Do you trust me?” Monty asks.

Clarke doesn’t answer right away, “I want to.”

“Tell me what I need to do.”

Clarke takes a moment and thinks about the next move she needs to make. This isn’t something she can keep from the others, but she also can’t waltz him right into the safe house. She’s got to be very careful about how she plays this or she could put them all in (more) danger.

She knows she can’t sit on this herself, so she grabs her phone and gives Anya a call. While the ringing tone plays out she gestures for Monty to stay put for the time being, taking a step back herself.

“ _Clarke?”_

“Anya,” Clarke whispers, “I need you to meet me in the alleyway behind the Greek restaurant in thirty minutes.”

“ _What?”_

“I can’t explain over the phone.”

“ _Are you okay? How do I know you aren’t being forced to say this?”_

“Ai laik Klark kom Heda kru,” Clarke continues, “Oso throu daun ogdea.” She pauses for a moment before adding something a little extra, “You also said you’d chop off my fingers if I told anyone about the conversation we had earlier.”

“ _So thirty minutes? Behind the Greek place?”_

Clarke nods and eyes Monty. “Bring Becca and no one else.”

“ _Okay, I’ll be there.”_

 _“_ Thanks, Anya.” Clarke then hangs up the call and pockets her phone, slowing bringing her gaze back up to Monty. She can’t quite explain what it is between them – she wants to trust him but she knows that this is a very precarious situation. Plus, while she’s all for Monty being on their side, everyone else needs to be on board as well.

They’re already too close to the safe house for comfort so they remain where they are for the time being. Monty is smart and would be able to figure out where the house is based off how long it takes Anya to get to their location so that’s why she set the time limit for half an hour. Monty’s already pinged their location to the general area so there’s no point trying to divert him away.

Monty eventually hops up onto the dumpster, swinging his legs over the side as if this is just another night for him. Clarke moves and leans towards the brick wall across from him, trying to process what’s going on. Other than herself, Monty is the first person who she’s witness come willingly to their side. Raven had this whole thing dropped on her while dragged in and same as Aden, that’s why Clarke is feeling sceptical about it all.

“What’s it like?” Monty asks.

“What?”

“Going rogue,” he clarifies.

Clarke lets out a small sigh and drops her guard. “It feels _right,_ ” she whispers. “We were never the good guys.”

“I want to be on the right side of this.”

“We all do.” Clarke takes a moment to run her fingers through her hair. “I hope you can understand why I have to be so cautious with this.”

“Been burnt before?”

Clarke shakes her head. “But we’re not going to start now.”

“Fair enough,” Monty whispers. “So Anya and Becca are coming here?”

Clarke nods. With Lexa still out she figures that Anya is the best person to call given their history and past experience. Anya is a born leader, someone who has and probably will always be a person Clarke knows she can turn to. While relationships in the Ark are tricky business, her relationship with Anya is definitely one of the strongest in her life.

“Becca… she’s really alive,” Monty continues.

Clarke hums in response. “She hasn’t change much.”

“And she’s been helping since… Lexa faked her death?”

Clarke doesn’t reply, not sure if she’s already said too much in their short exchange. But of course, it’s in the silence that Monty picks up on her hesitation. He raises his hands slightly and continues, “Forget I asked.”

“Why now?” Clarke asks.

“Since Lexa’s been back there’s no doubt that everyone’s been questioning their position in The Ark.”

Clarke scoffs. “You can say that again.”

“Lexa’s been the push that everyone needed to re-evaluate themselves,” he continues. “We have done some shitty things and I don’t think anything could make up for it.”

“Yeah…”

“But we can at least change our ways to make sure that the future is different.”

“Yeah…” Clarke replies again.

“She might be gone now but I want to help continue this fight,” he says, “Her sacrifice couldn’t have been for nothing.”

Monty puts it in such simple terms and she agrees whole-heartedly. She just hopes that he’s being genuine and that this isn’t a ploy, that The Ark hasn’t got something over him that’s forcing him to be here. He stops for another moment, taking a couple of breaths as he continues to swing his legs. “Our hands will never truly be clean, but we have to at least stop others from having to go through what we’ve been through… stop anyone else from enduring the same fate as us.”

 

Anya arrives just in time, with Monty jumping off the dumpster and straightening out his hoodie. It’s only her at first, but Clarke notices Becca in the background, keeping her distance for the time being.

“He knows you’re alive,” Clarke says out loud.

Becca steps forward and pulls back her hoodie and the tension between the four of them rises. Clarke can tell Anya is somewhere in the middle as she sees Monty. Her hand twitches towards her weapon, trying to make sense of what she’s seeing.

“It’s fine,” Clarke reassures, “I think.”

Anya’s gaze flickers between Clarke and Monty. “Care to explain?”

“I want to–”

Monty’s response is cut off as Becca steps forward to cut in. “You’re the one who tried to get into my system.”

“Yes.”

“I should have known,” Becca replies. “Your technique is impeccable.”

“I’d hate to interrupt this reunion but can one of you,” Anya points between Monty and Clarke, “Please explain what’s going on.”

“I want in,” Monty reveals.

Anya raises an eyebrow. “In what?”

“In taking down The Ark.”

Anya turns to Clarke, “And you just want to believe him like that?”

“Why do you think I called you here?” Clarke asks. “We might be rogue now, but these people are _still_ our friends. The trust we’ve built over the years just doesn’t go away over night.”

“You know The Ark loves their games,” Anya argues.

Becca steps forward, “If he was working for The Ark and Jaha knows I’m still alive, this place would be crawling with Ark agents.”

“She’s right,” Clarke agrees. “Becca would be arguably level 1 priority, over Lexa, if Jaha knew that she was still alive.”

Anya turns to Monty, seemingly unimpressed, “How did you figure out Becca was alive?”

“He found my trace,” Becca cuts in, “While I was in The Ark system, he must have figured it out.”

“He can do that? Find your trace?”

Becca nods. “It’s a needle in five haystacks, but it’s not impossible.”

“Some things never change,” Monty whispers. There’s a small smile of his face, one that says he’s really glad that Becca’s still alive. Clarke knows that they had an important relationship a few years ago. Becca definitely was one of the good people stuck within The Ark. Someone who despite their situation they were in, still tried to do good.

Monty goes on to further explain the trace in technical terms so that Becca can confirm that what he’s saying is true. A lot of it is jargon beyond Clarke and Anya’s abilities so they stand back and let the two of them talk for the moment.

Clarke still doesn’t know what they’re going to do at this point. Having Monty would mean that they would have a way into The Ark, which would be invaluable after losing their previous ways. While it isn’t essential, it would make life a lot easier for them. But again, this has got to be a decision that they think very carefully about.

The conversation between Monty and Becca comes to an end, with Becca giving her confirmation that what Monty is saying is true (at least about the trace she left behind in The Ark’s system). From here silence falls between the four of them again and Clarke’s mind just continues to run through the multitude of scenarios that could happen.

Anya crosses her arms over her chest and lets out a small sigh. “I want to believe you,” she says, “I do. But I can’t just bring you to the others and ask them to blindly trust you.”

Monty nods. “I understand. Let me prove myself.”

“What are you saying?” Anya asks.

“Let me be your inside man.”

It’s too good to be true, that’s what Clarke tells herself. God, she wants to believe in Monty, she does but this is too good to be true. Her friend, her very smart and very capable friend is coming to her willingly to go against the very organisation that he is a part. He is offering to be a double agent in a time they have lost all their inside men.

It just seems too good to be true. Life has beaten all down so much that Clarke doesn’t believe that things can be this easily. Nothing has ever been given to her on a silver platter and while she wants to believe Monty, she can’t do it on a whim. It’s not just herself in this, she’s got to think about everyone else involved.

Clarke pulls Anya and Becca to the side so they can have a quiet conversation away from him. “What do you think?” Clarke asks the other ladies.

“I want to believe him,” Becca replies, “But obviously there’s a lot more to this than just bringing him over to our side.”

Anya nods. “If he is telling us the truth and we tell him _no,_ he isn’t going to go back and play the loyal agent.”

“So you’re saying we should trust him?” Clarke asks.

Anya nods again. “Not blindly though and we act on whatever information he gives us with caution.” There’s a pause as she turns to Monty, who’s back sitting on top of the dumpster. “Keep it between us for the time being.”

Clarke shakes her head in disagreement. “We can’t keep this from the others.”

“We can,” Anya argues. “The only other person that needs to know is Lexa,” she whispers, making sure Monty doesn’t hear. “Everyone already has a lot on their plate. We’ll tell them when it’s the right time.”

“I have to disagree.”

“Then why did you call me and Becca here only?” Anya asks. 

“Because it would pretty conspicuous if ten people showed up in an alleyway,” Clarke defends weakly. It’s a spur of the moment response that really has no substance at all. It slowly dawns on her that maybe she called Anya only because Anya would be able to make the call she couldn’t. She doesn’t want to keep this from the others, but maybe they need to for the time being. “I just don’t like keeping things from people who we’re meant to trust.”

“I know,” Anya whispers, “But until we know for sure that we can trust him, I’m suggesting we keep it between us for now. I can’t stop you from saying anything but you’ve trusted me all these years as your leader, trust me now.”

“I’m with Anya,” Becca adds.

Clarke runs her fingers through her hair and lets out a long, and tired sigh. “Okay,” she concedes, “But we tell Lexa.”

Anya nods. “Okay,” she replies.

They all turn back towards Monty, who jumps off from the dumpster to meet with them again.

“So what’s the verdict?” he asks.

Anya takes a quick glance at Becca and Clarke before speaking, “Tell us what you can about what’s going on in The Ark.”

There’s a small smile on Monty’s lips. “Well Jaha’s gone dark, leaving Alie and Kane in charge,” he replies, “I’m pretty sure they’re the only two people who know where he is.” He scratches his head for a second, “Umm, Strike team is the new Alpha team.”

“Strike?” Anya asks. “Not Beta?”

Monty shakes his head. “Since Beta, Charlie and Delta were under your line of teams Alie’s not taking any chances.”

“Strike team was her creation,” Clarke comments.

Monty hums in response. “Everyone’s is being put through the polygraph. They’re trying to weasel out any other moles you might have on the inside.”

“Wouldn’t that cause a problem for you?” Anya asks.

“No,” Monty shakes his head. “I did it earlier and I’m in the clear.”

Anya lets out a small huff and brings her hands to rub her eyes. Silence falls between them again and Clarke bites her bottom lip in anticipation. She knows Anya is thinking hard about how to play this and she wishes she could offer a practical solution. But in her best attempts to clear her mind from everything that’s happened, she hasn’t been so successful yet.

“Okay,” Anya eventually says. She pulls her phone from her back pocket and starts typing away at her phone, “Take this,” she says as she hands the phone to Monty. “It has Clarke’s and Becca’s number in it. Do not call anyone else.”

“Lay low for the time being,” Becca instructs.

Anya nods in agreement. “Just keep playing agent. If you come across any information that will help us get to Jaha or the black boxes, give us a call.”

Monty takes the phone, inspects it and puts it in his back pocket. “I can do that,” he replies. “What else?”

“That’s all for now,” Clarke replies.

There’s a mutual understanding that this is where their little meeting comes to an end. Clarke wishes that she can leave it feeling a little more at ease but that would make it even more too good to be true. It’s a precarious situation and she really hopes that they’ve made the right decision.

They leave the alleyway and Clarke hails a passing cab for Monty. As he’s getting into the car she offers a small smile, “Stay safe,” she whispers.

“Yeah,” Monty nods, “You too.”

 

Clarke returns with Becca and Anya to the safe house after ensuring Monty was well out their way for the time being. They make up a quick white lie to explain where they’ve been, which everyone seems to buy. At this point everyone has spread themselves around the safe house, ready to let go of the mess of a day they’ve all had.

The first thing Clarke does is check on Lexa while Anya checks in on Raven. Lexa’s been moved into the “bedroom” of the safe house, giving her some privacy to recover. When Clarke walks into the room she spots her mum looking over the machines Lexa is hooked up to. 

“How is she?” Clarke asks, stepping up to the mattress and taking a seat on the floor.

“Good,” Abby replies, “She’s recovering well. She should be waking up soon… but at the latest by morning.”

A sigh of relief washes over Clarke. While this is the furthest thing from an ideal situation, it could have been a lot worse. It still breaks her heart seeing Lexa like this though.

This is when the tears start to fall. Clarke is quick to wipe them away as she tries to regain control of her breathing. Her mum is quick on her feet, making her way over and pulling Clarke in for a hug.

“Oh sweetie,” Abby replies.

“I just got her back,” Clarke cries quietly, “I can’t lose her for a second time.”

“You won’t lose her. She’s still here.”

Clarke falls into her mother’s embrace, letting everything she’s been holding onto out. This is another moment where she hates that this is her life. She knows she can’t change anything, but she fucking hates it. There’s a lot of rage, anger and _fear._

In this moment it feels like the weight on the world falls onto her shoulders. She sees the life she had before The Ark, the lives she’s taken for The Ark, she sees the life that The Ark has led her to in its entirety. All she sees is The Ark.

She doesn’t know how much time passes, but eventually her mum leaves to take a call. Clarke lets out a rather deep sigh and returns her focus to Lexa. She scoots herself closer and carefully takes one of Lexa’s hands between her own.

“Come back to me,” Clarke whispers. She brings Lexa’s hand to her lips and kisses it softly. “Please.”

Clarke takes a moment to look at the monitors around Lexa. While she is no doctor, she knows that everything is steady at the moment and Lexa is in a better condition than expected.

“I need you,” Clarke continues, “I need you so much. We all do.” There’s another pause before she continues again. “Losing you the first time is something I never want to go through again. I don’t know if I believe in soulmates, but when I think about us I just… look at our lives… out of all the stories, out of all the places, we still meet _here_ in this fucked up lives of ours. You once told me that you believe in reincarnation and maybe in out next lives we will get a life we deserve… We’ll meet in the most classic way, fall in love again, get married and move into a little house in a quiet suburb…” 

Clarke can’t help but smile at the thought. It’s one that she’s had many times, one that she finds herself thinking about when she feels like the whole world is crashing around her. “Do you think we’ll have kids?” she whispers, “I think we would. You would be a great mum. We can have two girls and a boy. We’ll also have jobs we love.” Clarke stops again and lets out a small sigh, bringing Lexa’s hand to place another soft kiss. “You and me, we’ll always find a way back to each. You’re my forever, Lexa Woods.”

Clarke drops Lexa’s hand and moves so that she can place a kiss on Lexa’s forehead. She hovers there for a moment, eyes closed, tears pooling once again. “But you need to wake up,” Clarke whispers against Lexa’s forehead, “You have to be okay because we need to finish this life _together._ That’s how this works.” It’s a couple moments later that Clarke moves herself so that she can place the lightest of kisses on Lexa’s lips. “I love you,” she barely whispers, “I have always loved you and I will always love you.”

It’s barely a whisper and she wishes that she could have told Lexa earlier, told Lexa when she was awake but Clarke can’t hold onto it anymore. She loves Lexa and despite everything that’s happened, there is no denying how she feels about the woman in front of her.

“I love you,” Clarke whispers again as she pulls back. Her eyes study Lexa’s face, still, quiet, _peaceful._ If there is one good thing about this moment is that Lexa is getting some well-deserved rest.

It’s now that Clarke sees Lexa’s fingers twitch. It’s the smallest move but it sends the biggest smile onto Clarke’s face. “Lexa?” she whispers.

Lexa’s dry lips part slightly at first, a rough but quiet cough barely escaping her lips. Her eyes slowly and painfully flutter open but Clarke once again sees the greens eyes she loves so dearly. “Hey,” Lexa manages to croak.

“Hey,” Clarke smiles. She moves a little closer, pushing aside hair from Lexa’s face. She knows she should call out to her mum or Becca but she just needs a moment. Lexa’s lips pull themselves up into a small smile and Clarke can tell that Lexa is basically using up all her strength at this moment. “How are you feeling?”

Lexa closes her eyes and tries to take a deep breath. “I feel…” She pauses, “Tired…”

“Just relax,” Clarke prompts, “You’ve been out for a while so it’s going to take a while to start feeling better again. I’m going to go get Becca to come–”

Lexa shakes her head, prompting Clarke to stop. “Just a minute,” Lexa whispers, “Just stay with me for a minute.”

“Of course,” Clarke nods.

Lexa swallows the lump in her throat and smiles again. “Are you okay?” Clarke nods. “And everyone else?”

“Everyone else is okay,” Clarke replies.

“That’s good.”

Clarke gives Lexa’s hand a reassuring squeeze, “And you’re okay.”

Lexa gives an unconvincing nod and closes her eyes again, letting out a deep sigh in the process. Clarke wants to say something but this is not the time. Lexa is awake and that’s good enough for now. They’ve all had near-experiences in the past and there’s just a certain way they have to do things to really process what’s happened.

So for the time being Clarke sits with Lexa. Everything on the monitors say that Lexa is stable so they can afford to wait another couple of minutes before calling someone in to help. Clarke brings both her hands to clasp around Lexa’s. Lexa’s hands are cold, but Clarke still feels the warmth and love they share.

A couple of minutes pass before Clarke leans over and kisses the top of Lexa’s forehead. “We’ll get through this.”

Lexa nods softly. “Clarke…” she whispers.

Clarke lifts her head up so that she can look into the emerald green eyes. “Yeah?”

“Kiss me,” Lexa breathes.

Clarke smiles and responds by closing the distance between them. It’s a very soft kiss, with Clarke being very mindful of the physical state Lexa is in. But nonetheless, it’s still a very reassuring kiss (most likely for different reasons for the both of them).

When Lexa’s hands come to trail at the either side of Clarke’s face, that’s when the kiss ends. Clarke hovers for just a moment longer before pulling back completely. “I’m going to get Becca now,” Clarke says.

Lexa nods.

Clarke leans down and kisses the top of Lexa’s forehead one more time before she’s up and leaving. “I’ll be back in just a moment.” Before Clarke leaves the room completely, she looks back to Lexa for just a moment. Her heart kind of skips a beat at this point as the realisation that Lexa is okay settles in once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so... monty... do we trust him? 
> 
> Also someone teach me how to write consistent chapter lengths
> 
> anyways, thanks for reading!


	20. fighting fire with fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lexa's recovery, some good news, new goals and new plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so sorry it's taken this long to get another update out. but it's a long chapter so hopefully that makes up for the wait. 
> 
> happy (late) new years! happy reading xx

It’s a long and quiet week after everything at the docks. Of course, the only good thing about when it goes quiet is that it gives everyone a chance to catch their breaths and recover. But on the other hand, the Ark going quiet can never be a good thing. There’s been very little Ark chatter and even with Monty, it’s still _too_ quiet for anyone’s liking.

Of course they’re taking everything Monty says with a grain of salt. Lexa thinks Anya made the right call, by not telling anyone else about him yet. If he is telling the truth about really being on their side, then that’s great. But if he’s not, Lexa wants as little people to know about it as possible. She knows that they all look to her and she just wants to protect them the best she can.

What Monty has told them is that the Ark is basically on lock down at this point – a similar lockdown to when Lexa first showed herself. They’re only accepting level 1 priority missions which makes sense given the major events that occurred in the past week.

It’s been a quiet week from The Ark’s side, but a busy week for Lexa and her team. As a precaution, they moved safe houses once Lexa was okay to move again (which was just a day after she woke up from the boat explosion). They now reside in an empty apartment block. While it isn’t anything fancy, it means that they can all have their own rooms and space while still being close to each other.

They get together everyday and discuss possible game plans and strategies. It’s all they can really do at the moment. They talk, they train, they recover. 

Lexa has needed this week more than anyone else. It’s been a week and she still doesn’t feel like herself. The others tell her that it’s okay, that it will take as long as it takes but she hates feeling vulnerable. If anything were to happen at this point, she can’t confidently say that she’ll be able to hold herself in a fight.

But the people who surround her don’t let her forget that she doesn’t have to hold herself. They are always around. Not in a bad way, they know when to give her space but they constantly remind her that they are there for her. And since being a loyal Ark agent, she really believes it.

While it hasn’t been a physically straining week for them, everything is still taking a toll mentally and emotionally. It’s arguably one of the toughest parts of being agent. Anyone can recover from physical wounds but it’s near impossible to un-see, un-feel, and to forget the things they have done (and things they still have to do).

With the week that’s passed, Lexa’s been given a chance to see everyone without the chaos that usually surrounds them. She knows them all, all in different ways though. With the exception of Octavia, it’s been over four years since she’s seen most of them. While they have reunited and reacquainted themselves to some extent, Lexa knows that she still has some things to learn.

It just never feels like the right time to start though. Lexa wants to be someone they all can talk to, but that is wishful thinking on her behalf. They all have histories that are hard to forget and for some relationships, there is barrier Lexa hasn’t quite knock down yet. But a thing that she’s grateful for is that everyone in the group has _someone_ they can talk to.

Octavia’s been keeping a close eye on Aden during the past week. She trains him, keeps him focused. He’s the youngest of them all and undoubtedly the most inexperienced at this point. If anyone can reach him though, it’s Octavia. And Lexa admires their relationship quite a lot. It reminds herself of her own relationship with Anya.

Speaking of Anya, she’s also been training non-stop with Lincoln. The two of them have never been ones to stay still for too long, so they fight, they train and they talk strategy. They keep everyone else feeling secure as well. There is no doubt that they feel a big weight of responsibility upon their shoulders. They are both born leaders and two people who strive to protect their people no matter the cost.

There’s been no word from Luna.

Raven keeps busy with Becca and working their way through the Ark’s system. They’ve still got access, and while Raven thinks that Monty just hasn’t picked up on it yet, Lexa knows that Monty’s been helping them stay in the system unnoticed. The good thing is that Raven’s relationship with both Anya and Clarke seems to be mending itself. It’s none of Lexa’s business but they are all important to her and she cares.

As for her own relationship with Clarke, it’s still slowly rebuilding. While they have so much to talk about, especially about the years they’ve lost, there’s this unspoken agreement that they’ll have time to catch up later. Right now they’re just letting themselves be happy that they’re back together and fighting for something they both strongly believe in.

 

* * *

 

The day is just coming to an end when Lexa wakes up from a nap. She walks through her (fairly) empty apartment to find Raven sitting out on her balcony. It definitely surprises her but she grabs two bottles of water and makes her way outside.

“Hey,” Lexa says as she slides open the door.

Raven turns in her chair and offers a small smile. “Hey, Clarke just went out to buy some food. She asked me to keep an eye on you.”

Lexa hands over the water to Raven and nods, taking a seat on the floor and leaning against the wall. She unscrews the lid and drinks, taking a few deep breaths afterwards as well.

“I’m feeling fine,” Lexa whispers, “You don’t have to stay.”

“I don’t have anywhere else to be,” Raven replies.

Lexa just nods in response, unsure of what else to say at this point. Raven is one of the people she feels like there’s a barrier between them. They were friends a long time ago, someone they both trusted without a second a thought. And while Lexa still would trust Raven, she’s not quite sure if Raven would say the same about her.

It’s a couple of minutes of silence before Lexa speaks up again. “This doesn’t have to be your fight, Raven.”

“What am I supposed to do?” Raven asks, “Run?”

“I would say yes but I know that you don’t run from a fight,” Lexa says.

“Even after all these years you still know me.” Raven pauses. “I wish I could say that I still knew you though.”

The words hurt more than Lexa expects. It always surprises her when it does because she’s been beaten physically and mentally more times than she can remember. But when it comes down to people that really matter to her, even the littlest of things can trigger something within her.

“You can ask me whatever you want,” Lexa says.

“Anything? And you’ll tell me the truth?”

Lexa nods. “Anything,” she repeats.

“When did it all start?” Raven asks.

Lexa lets out a rather long breath before she starts. “A couple of days after Costia was killed…” She pauses, takes another sip of her drink and continues, “That was my tipping point.”

Lexa goes on to explain everything again. While Raven knows most of the story at this point, Lexa thinks it’s important for her to hear it all again. Everything for Raven is a little clearer now, she’s had time to process and let everything settle. Lexa doesn’t leave anything out and Raven just takes it all in.

By the end of it Lexa feels a slight weight lifted off of her shoulders. The atmosphere between them shifts, as if the barrier she felt before is falling down. The quiet fills the space for the time being, the only sound being of a truck horn in the distance, birds chirping on an above balcony and the quiet hustle from the streets below them.

“I know you don’t run,” Lexa continues, “But you’re free to go if you wish. The choice is yours.”

“Choice,” Raven scoffs. “You _were_ free but you chose to come back.”

“I know.”

“Why?”

Lexa doesn’t reply straight away. “We can never be free from this life,” she whispers, “But we can try to at least stop others from suffering the same fate as us.”

Raven nods softly. “People will die.”

“People _have_ died,” Lexa corrects, “But if we don’t do anything, the number will only increase.”

“If anyone can lead a revolution it’s you.”

Lexa stops and looks out over the balcony. The sun is slowly setting, the street lights flicker on one by one and breeze starts to pick up. There isn’t much before her, a lot of it is just abandoned buildings and open spaces but it’s safe for them (for now).

“I’m in this,” Raven says, “You can count on me as long as I can still count on you.”

“You can,” Lexa replies.

“Then it’s just like old times.”

Lexa nods. “Yeah, just like old times.”

“So where do we go from here?” Raven asks.

“This week feels like another ‘calm before the storm’ moment,” Lexa admits, “Something is going to happen and…”

“And you want to make sure we’re prepared for it,” Raven cuts in.

Lexa hums in response. “We need to always be ahead of the Ark if we have any chance of beating them.”

“Any word on what they’ve been up to?”

Lexa initially wants to shake her head, but that would be lying. Earlier in the day Monty had called Anya saying that Kane and Alie are going to a party in a couple of days. He wasn’t able to give much more information and they’ve still got to be very careful with anything Monty gives them. Lexa wants to trust him, but she’s not going to do it blindly.

“Alie and Kane might be at a party this coming Friday,” Lexa whispers. She just hopes that Raven doesn’t ask where she’s gotten the intel from.

“Their first public appearance since the docks.”

Lexa lets out a minor sigh of relief. “I’m going to get everyone to get together tomorrow so we can talk about what we should do.”

“Do you think we should do something?”

“Who knows when our next chance will be.”

“That’s true,” Raven replies. She pauses. “Can I ask you something?”

“Yes.”

“How are things between Octavia and Bellamy?”

Lexa lets out another small sigh. This has been a thing that’s been on her mind since the beginning of it all. Bellamy is a big reason why Octavia did this whole thing in the first place, she wanted to find closure with her brother and it seems like she’s done the complete opposite at this point.

She knows about the conversation the Blake siblings had and Lexa thinks that there’s little she can say to help the situation. She’s there for Octavia completely, but this seems like something they have to work out themselves.

“Brother and sister on opposites sides of the same war,” Lexa says, “It can’t be an easy thing to hold onto.”

“You and Clarke were on opposite sides of the same war,” Raven argues.

“That’s different.”

“If you say so.”

Lexa doesn’t argue any further because she knows it’s probably going to be a losing battle. To some extent it might be the same but she’s been lucky, she’s got Clarke back in her life. She just hopes and wishes that Octavia will get the closure she needs from whatever outcome plays out from here.  

“Do you think Bellamy will turn against The Ark?” Raven asks.

Lexa lets out a long breath, “I don’t know. He’s a wildcard at this point.”

Before anything else can be said, there’s tapping from the door behind them. Anya’s standing there and sliding the door open. “Sorry to interrupt,” she whispers, “But there’s someone here to see you Lex.”

Lexa peers around Anya’s body, finding a familiar face standing inside the apartment. It’s Luna.

“Well that’s my cue to leave,” Raven says. She grabs her bottle and stands up from the chair, “Thanks for the chat Lexa.”

“Yeah, anytime.”

Lexa watches as Raven and Anya head inside, prompting Luna to come outside on the balcony as well. Luna takes a seat on the floor as well, across from Lexa and turns her head towards the open. Lexa doesn’t say anything for the time being, curiously raising her eyebrow as she just watches the other woman.

It’s just silence between them. It’s not awkward or even tense at this point. It’s just silent.

Lexa is not mad at Luna. One of the things she has said from the beginning is that everyone has an out whenever they want it. She is not going to force anyone to stay against their will and she can understand and respect a choice to leave the fight.

“I had to make sure you were alive,” Luna whispers.

“How did you find us?”

“I didn’t,” Luna says. “I went back to the old safe house and it must have triggered an alarm or something. Becca found me.”

Lexa nods along.

“She told me what happened.”

“I’m fine,” Lexa replies quickly.

Luna nods again. “I’m not coming back, Lexa. I just wanted to say goodbye before I go.”

“Where are you going?”

“Away,” Luna says, “Away from here.” She pauses, runs her fingers through her hair and continues, “I know we can never escape this life but I can sure as hell get as far away from here as I can.”

“Are you going to be okay?”

Luna nods. “You should get away from here too.”

“If only it was that easy.”

“Take Clarke and leave, you have the means and the capabilities to do so,” Luna argues.

“Maybe,” Lexa whispers, “But I started this fight, this is _my_ fight and I’m not going until it’s over.”

“There’s a chance that you and people you really care about will die.”

Lexa huffs. “I know.” She pauses. “ _Trust me,_ I know. It’s one constant thought that runs through my mind.”

“So you’re not going to leave.”

“I can’t leave,” Lexa corrects.

Luna nods and it goes silent between the two of them again. Lexa knows that this is it for them, their final moment before they go their separate ways. It’s not likely that they’ll see each other again, even when it’s all over. There’s a small chance that it will happen, if they both really want it. But right now, it’s not something Lexa lets herself think too much about. There’s just too much uncertainty about what the future holds.

 

After Luna leaves, Lexa finds herself hopping into a car with Becca and driving away from the apartment building. Becca doesn’t say where they’re going, only that Lexa is the only person needed at the moment. Of course the others become curious but they know better than to question Becca’s motives.  

It’s not a long drive and soon enough they’re pulling up into an underground car park. The car is turned off and Becca steps out without a word. Lexa follows. Becca is not much of a talker, never has been. While she doesn’t have as such a demanding presence as Alie, it’s still one that makes people follow her (silent) commands.

They reach back of the car park and Becca pulls out a key card, swiping it to open the door. Nothing has been said between the two of them yet and Lexa just follows. They walk down an empty corridor and down a couple of steps. Just from instinct Lexa can tell that they’re heading down towards the basement of the building.

“This isn’t where I kill you,” Becca jokes.

“I know,” Lexa replies, “You had about five better opportunities before getting to wherever we are.”

The silence that follows is enough to lighten to the moment just enough to keep Lexa moving forward. Becca uses her key card to let them pass another two doors before they’re stepping into a fairly empty room. There are no windows, one desk, three chairs and a person stepping towards them.

Lexa gives a quick glance at the woman before her. She’s a complete stranger at this point but she can tell that Becca knows her. Everything about the woman screams professional, her look, her clothes, her overall presence. But Lexa keeps herself composed and waits for Becca to take the lead in the conversation.

It’s just a quick greeting between the two of them before Becca is introducing Lexa to the woman. “This is Agent Gina Teller,” Becca says.

“Your FBI contact.”

Becca nods.

Gina steps forward and offers her hand. “It’s nice to finally meet you. I wish it were under better circumstances but in our line of work that’s probably never the case.”

Lexa shakes Gina’s hand and nods. There’s a lot she can say at this point but she just doesn’t know where to start. Up until now, she’s never really thought about what happens after the boxes are destroyed. She just thought Becca would have it handled from that point onwards.

“How much do you know?” Lexa asks.

“Everything.” Gina motions for them to take a seat around the table. She sits across from Becca and Lexa, opening the file of the table in the process. “How much do you know about me?”

“Nothing,” Lexa counters.

“Why don’t we change that?”

Lexa nods. “I know of you, that you’re Becca’s contact within the FBI and that’s it.”

“And do you trust me?” Gina asks.

“I trust Becca.”

“Fair enough,” Gina nods. “Let’s just cut to the chase then… We have been indirectly working together since you started this. While it’s _technically_ been an unofficial case within the FBI, it’s time to make it official.”

“Official?” Lexa repeats.

“Yes.”

“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” Becca asks.

Lexa curiously looks over to Becca, raising her eyebrow in the process. She’s no idiot but right now she does not know what Gina is about to propose.

Gina gives a slight nod. “I’ve been given the authority to offer you all immunity once this is all over.”

Lexa hears the words but it she has trouble processing all of it. _Immunity._ Essentially ‘a get of jail free card’ once the mission is over. It is quite possibly the best outcome she could have hoped for, but right now it does not feel like a gift. She does not feel like she deserves this at all.

“Of course there are a few conditions,” Gina conditions.

“Wait,” Lexa cuts in, “Who else knows about this… about me?”

“Two of my superiors,” Gina answers.

Lexa takes a deep breath and refocuses. “So what are these conditions?”

Gina continues on with what’s going to happen here on out. The important factors of the immunity deal are as follows:

  * Things will ultimately remain the same with Lexa and her team in charge of the mission
  * Lexa will be given access to a number of resources she may need to continue taking down the Ark
  * The end goal is to have all the boxes destroyed and to have Jaha, Alie and Kane brought into the FBI
  * Once that is achieved, a new task force will be assigned to bring in the rest of the Ark recruits and agents
  * Lexa and her team will be free to go, slate wiped clean, after giving their side of the story to the FBI



“So this immunity deal is for everyone on the team now?” Lexa asks.

Gina nods.

“What about those in the Ark who have no choice?”

Gina lets out a small sigh. “While I cannot guarantee them immunity, they will be assessed on a case by case basis. If they cooperate, they will most likely be able to go on some sort of probation.” There’s a pause. “I know that’s not what you want to hear, but because they are still working for the other side I cannot just give them the benefit of the doubt.”

Lexa brings her hands to rub her face, turning to the empty side of the room and just letting it all sink in. She knows she should have thought about this a long time ago, but she didn’t think she’d get this far. She couldn’t even dream about having the team she has now.

“So we destroy the boxes, bring in Jaha, Alie and Kane?” Becca asks.

Gina nods again. “My superiors want this gone quickly and quietly. You do this, you tell your side of the story and you walk free.”

Lexa doesn’t have the energy to say that she’ll never be free from this life. It’s a song she sings over and over again, one that she has no voice for right now. But she knows she wants this. Her past will always be there, but to be given a chance to move forward with her life, she isn’t going to let it slip through her fingers.

“I can give you 24 hours to look over the paper work,” Gina tells them. She pushes the file across the table, “In here is the immunity deal in detail. Read through it, talk about it with your team. The last page is blank, put down the name of your team members and have them sign it as well.”

“You do realise that society thinks we’re all dead, right?” Lexa says.

“Yes,” Gina says. “But as you’ll see in the contract, as part of the deal I can get you knew names, new social security numbers, a new life basically. When I slate wiped clean, I mean it.”

“It sounds too good to be true,” Lexa mumbles to herself.

But Gina hears anyways, “The greater community will most likely never know what you are doing for them, but I do, the FBI does.”

“And to keep us from telling the world about The Ark, you’re going to give us whatever we want.”

There’s a pause and it looks like Gina is carefully choosing her response. “It’s a win-win situation. We have The Ark taken down once and for all and you and your team get to live a life you deserve.”

Lexa scoffs. “We don’t deserve anything.”

“Lexa,” Becca calls, “Take the file. Talk it over with the others.”

A million things start to course through Lexa’s mind. Becca and Gina talk over a few other things, but it becomes white noise to her. Lexa looks at the files on the table and she tries to imagine her life after everything is all over. But instead she finds herself replaying flashes of the few happy memories she has. There’s a few with Tris (her foster sister), a few with Anya when they were not working and the rest involves Clarke in one way or another.

Lexa is drawn back to reality when she feels Becca stand from her chair.

“Thank you,” Becca tells Gina as they share a handshake.

“24 hours,” Gina reminds them, “Or I will have to take the deal away.”

Lexa nods and shakes Gina’s hands as well. With one final goodbye shared between them, Lexa is following Becca back out of the room and the way they came in. She grips the file tight, as if there’s a chance she’s going to lose it.

The ride back to the safe house is quiet and all Lexa does is trace the file’s emblem with her finger. She is going to tell the others about this, tomorrow though. Right now, she needs only one thing. She needs Clarke.

 

* * *

 

Clarke sits in the room Raven likes to call “The Batcave” of the apartment building. Becca really went all out to make this place as efficient and effective as it could be. The Batcave is located in the basement of the complex, a command centre and training ground for the rest of their mission (hopefully).

Aden and Anya are sparring, Octavia is boxing with Lincoln, and Clarke sits with Raven at the table doing nothing of any importance. Clarke takes out her phone and re-reads the last message Lexa sent her just a couple of hours earlier.

 **Lexa**  
Gone out with Becca  
Will be back soon

That’s all the message says and of course she’s curious as to where Lexa’s gone. While she’s definitely recovered well over the past week, she still got some way to go. But knowing she’s with Becca definitely lets Clarke worry a little less. If anything happens, she knows Becca will be on top of it all.

It’s been a long day for Clarke and all she wants to do is curl into bed with Lexa. It’s the one thing that’s been a constant since they’ve found their way back to each other. No matter the day they’ve had, the chaos that follows them or the struggles they’re trying to push their way through, ending the day with Lexa by her side always keeps Clarke grounded.

Before she knows it, Lexa and Becca are walking into the room. Of course everyone’s heads turn but they’re quick to go back to do their own thing. The small smile of Clarke’s face can’t be stopped as Lexa makes her way over.

“Hey,” Clarke whispers. Lexa smiles and takes the empty seat beside her. Immediately, Clarke reaches for her hand, bringing it up to her lips and placing a long, soft, kiss on it. “You okay?”

Lexa gives an unconvincing nod. “I’m tired though, I think I’m going to call it a day.”

“I’ll come with you.”

“Just one moment,” Lexa replies. She stands up from the chair and clears her throat. “Hey everyone,” she calls out, “Mind gathering around for a second?”

Everyone in the room drops what they’re doing and gathers around the table. There’s just enough chairs for them all, so when everyone has a seat, Lexa sits as well.

“We need to move forward,” Lexa announces.

“How do we do that?” Lincoln asks.

Lexa lets out a small breath. “Word is that Alie and Kane will be at a party this coming Friday,” she tells everyone. “It will be the first public appearance they make since everything that’s happened.”

Aden speaks up, “So what’s the plan?”

“There’s no plan _yet._ I want everyone to take tonight to rest and come up with something before coming back here tomorrow.”

Once there’s a general agreement amongst the group, Lincoln is inviting everyone out to the bar for some dinner. Lexa is quick to decline, saying that she just wants a bath and bed at this point. Of course that sounds like the best way to end the day, so Clarke declines the offer as well.

It’s not long before Clarke is taking Lexa’s hand and guiding them up to their room. The apartment is dark and poorly lit, but it’s easy enough to navigate their way through. Once there Clarke finds herself being pulled into a hug by Lexa. It’s a long hug and Lexa holds on tight.

“Come on,” Clarke whispers, “Let’s take a bath.”

Lexa nods against her shoulder and the two of them make their way to the bathroom. Clarke gets the water running and they silently start to undress. It’s done with complete ease, like they’ve been doing it for years.

Clarke looks over to Lexa who’s just taken off her shirt. The scars and wounds on her back don’t surprise her, but it still hurts to see them. Clarke takes a few steps up to Lexa, and slowly traces one of the scars with her finger. She remembers the scar well, it’s one that Lexa got while they were on a mission together all those years ago.

Clarke wraps her arms around Lexa’s waist and pulls them closer together. “Come on, the water is ready.”

Lexa turns herself around and brings her hands to cradle either side of Clarke’s face. She pulls them in for a longing kiss. It’s a little desperate and hungry, their bodies curving towards each other to stay in as much contact as possible.

The kiss breaks away with a much need breath from either end. Clarke kisses Lexa once more before offering a small smile and pulling them towards the tub. They discard the rest of their clothes and Clarke slips into the bath first. Lexa slips in as well, sitting in front of Clarke and leaning back.

Clarke leans back and wraps her arms around Lexa. She can feel Lexa’s breathing easing and she’s just glad they can still find quiet moments together in this chaotic life of theirs. It’s quiet for the time being with the both of them just enjoying being in each other’s arms.

Even after all these years, Clarke can tell that a lot is on Lexa’s mind. While this might not be something new, she can tell that tonight is different. Wherever Lexa was earlier in the day has put a lot on her shoulders, but Clarke doesn’t want to push. Lexa will talk to her when she’s ready, so for now Clarke trust that what she’s offering is enough.

Eventually they take turns cleaning each other with the loofah. Not much is said during this time but with Lexa being here with her, it’s enough for the time being. It’s been a couple of months now but it still takes Clarke’s back a breath when she sees that Lexa is still alive. They have lost so much time and Clarke has never wanted the world to stop more. While it’s an impossible ask, she wants those lost years back.

After their bath, they make themselves comfortable on the couch. They share leftover Chinese food from the night before and a drink between the two of them. To calm the atmosphere in the room entirely, the only source of light in the room illuminates from the candles that have been lit.

Clarke finishes chewing on her food. “So do you have a plan for this part Alie and Kane are going to be at?”

Lexa shakes her head softly. “I just know that we need to make a move.”

“Well what’s our goal? Our next objective in all of this?”

Lexa ponders the question for a moment. Clarke takes another bite into her food and thinks about it as well. Knowing what they want to achieve next is needed before they can come up with a plan.

“We need to lure Jaha and the boxes out,” Lexa whispers.

Clarke nods. “I don’t think hitting a party Alie and Kane attend will do it though.”

“We need something bigger.”

Clarke nods again and continues with her food. “And you can’t go out in the frontlines. Everyone still thinks you’re dead.”

“I know.”

“And you’re still not at your best yet.”

“I know.”

“And–”

“–I know,” Lexa cuts in. She offers a small smile and takes a couple of deep breaths.

Clarke reaches over and takes Lexa’s hand within her own. It’s quiet for a few moments and Clarke just takes in the woman before her. Lexa’s guards are completely down at this point, she’s open and vulnerable, nothing about her physical appearance lives up to her title of “The Commander”.

“We take Alie and Kane,” Clarke suggests.

“What?”

“We take them.” Clarke pauses and scoots herself a little closer, “We can’t just infiltrate the party,” she repeats. “We take them and Jaha is bound to come out of hiding.”

“It’s a good idea but how are we going to get them?”

Clarke shrugs. “I haven’t got that far yet.”

Lexa is quick to nod and lean over for a quick kiss. “It’s okay,” she whispers, “Let’s call it a day. We can think about it more tomorrow.”

“I like the sound of that.”

They finish the leftovers in silence. There’s the occasional comment about the food and something about what they saw on the news earlier in the day. Clarke thinks that this is what their lives would be if they weren’t trained assassins and she absolutely loves the idea. (Well to be fair, she’ll love any scenario as long as Lexa is in her life.)

Once they finish their food, they’re both lying across the couch with Lexa resting herself partly on Clarke. Clarke closes her eyes and keeps her arms wrapped around Lexa. These are the moments she will never get sick of.

“What happens when this is all over?” Lexa whispers.

“The black boxes will be destroyed… The Ark will be gone…” Clarke replies.

“And us?”

Clarke smiles softly. “And we… we keep moving forward _together.”_ There is no doubt that Clarke wants to spend the rest of her life with Lexa. She’s never really had a place to call home, but she’s feels like she’s always has a home with Lexa. So Clarke doesn’t care where they are of what they’re doing, as long as she’s got Lexa by her side she’ll be content.

“I want you at the end of all of this,” Clarke continues. “I want a life with you, Lexa.”

“I want that too.” There’s a pause before Lexa continues, “I met with Becca’s FBI contact today.”

That definitely shocks Clarke. “How did that go?”

“Better than expected.” Lexa moves off of Clarke and sits up on the couch, with Clarke following suit. “They’re offering us immunity.”

“Immunity?” Clarke breathes.

Lexa nods and goes on to explain the meeting she had just earlier in the day. She doesn’t leave any details out. By the end of it Clarke is dumbfounded. When she came over to Lexa’s side all she knew was that there was an FBI contact, but she didn’t ask any questions. She trusted Lexa and Lexa trusted Becca. That was enough.

“This is a good thing, right…” Clarke trails off.

Lexa nods.

“But…”

“But it doesn’t feel like it,” Lexa replies. “Do we really deserve to have our slate wiped cleaned after all we’ve done?”

Clarke takes a deep breath and reaches for Lexa’s hands. “We both know that the slate will never be wiped cleaned for us,” she says. “On paper maybe… But it will be impossible to ever forget the things we’ve done and the things we’ve seen. And while that will probably follow us for the rest of our lives, I think we deserve to be able to keep moving forward.” She pauses. “Not everyone will see that we are trying to make things right, but we are, we are trying.”

Lexa brings her hands to rub her face. “I don’t know what’s going to happen from here.”

“No one does,” Clarke whispers. “But we are a team. Oso throu daun ogeda.”

“Together,” Lexa repeats as she looks back up to Clarke. She offers a small smile and lets out a small breath.

Clarke scoots a little closer and everything around her fades away. In this moment it’s just them. She can almost hear the pounding of her heart as she brings her hands to cradle either side of Lexa’s face. Clarke smiles, “I love you, Lexa.” Before Lexa can respond, Clarke closes the distance between them. It’s a slow, passionate kiss and it’s a few seconds later that Clarke realises Lexa is crying. “Hey…” she whispers as she pulls back.

“I love you too,” Lexa replies. “I can’t lose you again, Clarke.”

“You won’t.” Clarke brings their foreheads together and takes a deep breath. “You’re not going to lose me, I promise. I am here and I am not going anywhere.”

 

* * *

 

Lexa wakes up much too early the following day. She doesn’t get up right away, enjoying the way Clarke sleeps peacefully beside her. She knows that it’s going to be one thing after another from here on out, but she’s grateful for the pocket of quietness she still manages to get.

Recovery is going well but not as fast as should would like. Feeling anything less than 100% makes her vulnerable, makes her team vulnerable and she hates it. Everyone looks to her for guidance and she does not take that lightly. These are her people and she has a duty to protect them throughout this mission.

Once she peels herself away from Clarke, Lexa makes her way up to the roof of the building. Morning have always been her favourite time of the day. It’s just past 5:30am and the world is still very quiet. The sun isn’t quite out yet, but’s not completely dark either.

This is the easiest time of day that Lexa can hear her own thoughts. Her mind is rested, clear and not clouded by other people’s words. With she needs her team and their input, she also needs to be able to make her own decisions based on the facts alone. And the fact is, right now they have close to nothing. This lead about Kane and Alie being at the party is the only thing they have and they really need to come up with a good plan to move forward.

Lexa paces back and forth across the roof for the time being. She tries to organise her thoughts to figure out exactly what it is she needs to get done today. The two major things she needs to talk about with the others is working on a plan for the party and to tell the others about the immunity deal. She is pretty sure that everyone will sign in. While it won’t clear their conscious, it’ll definitely help with moving forward.

 

By 8am everyone is awake and sitting around the table in the command centre (Lexa refuses to call it the Batcave despite Raven’s best efforts). At first it’s idle chat as everyone makes sure that everyone else is okay and that there were no problems during the night.

The first thing on the agenda is coming up with a solid plan for possibly infiltrating the part Alie and Kane will be at. There is a lot of discussion and near arguments about how they should do this. But everyone manages to maintain their level of respect and “professionalism” for each other. They talk about plans, strategies and contingencies. During the conversation there is a certain adrenalin coursing through the group, and at other times it’s frustration. But it’s all a part of the process.

Eventually they all agree that being stagnant for too long is putting them all on edge and waiting for the ball to drop is daunting. While Lexa was leading the conversation in the beginning, she definitely falls into more of a listening role. She’s playing various scenarios through her mind, trying to figure which of them is the best.

She doesn’t realise it but eventually she zones out of the conversation. She doesn’t mean to, but when everyone is talking over each other about what they think is best, it disrupts Lexa’s own thought process. She thinks she might have a plan, but it’s not defined enough for her to share it with everyone just yet.

At this point everyone is back to yelling out various plans across the table. It’s pretty much nothing new to the Ark agents in the room, but it’s still pretty chaotic. They’ve been at it for about an hour know with little progress and Lexa thinks that maybe they all need a break for a moment. But just as she’s about to say something, Anya beats her to it.

“ _Everyone out.”_

Anya’s voice is stern and everyone in the room knows that she’s not messing about. It takes a couple of curious looks across the table before Anya speaks up again. “We will get nowhere screaming and yelling at each other. Go out, get some coffee or breakfast, or whatever you need and come back in an hour.”

It’s not long before everyone is shuffling in their seats and making their way out of the room. But Lexa doesn’t move, taking deep breaths and giving reassuring nods to her team members who give a quick goodbye.

“Hey,” Clarke whispers as she scoots her chair closer, “Want to grab some breakfast?”

Lexa shakes her head and takes a look over at Anya. Anya is still on her seat and on her phone and Lexa knows that all she needs to do is talk to her mentor and she’ll be able to figure out what’s missing from the plan in her head. “I need to talk to Anya,” Lexa whispers back to Clarke.

“Everything okay?”

Lexa nods. “It’s just about a possible plan.” She leans in and gives Clarke a quick kiss. “I’ll fill you in once you’re back.”

“Okay,” Clarke smiles. “Do you want me to bring you back anything?”

“Umm a bagel or something like that would be good.”

“I can do that.”

“Thank you, Clarke.”

Clarke smiles and leans in for another quick kiss. “I’ll be back soon.”

Lexa nods and watches as Clarke goes off with Raven and Octavia. They’re the last to leave the command centre and once the door closes, Lexa lets out a long sigh. Anya puts her phone down and crosses her arms over her chest. The two of them hold each other’s stare for just a moment.

“We need a good plan,” Anya says.

“I know,” Lexa replies, “Infiltrating the party won’t be enough.”

“What are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking…” Lexa trails off as she realises how crazy her idea is. The night before Clarke suggested that they take Alie and Kane at the party to lure Jaha out and it’s been on her mind since. It is a big enough move to get Jaha back on the radar, but it is going to be one hell of mission. Just thinking about the security detail protocols for Alie and Kane is going to be tough to overcome already.

“It’s one of your outrageous plans isn’t it?” Anya asks.

Lexa nods softly. “Clarke suggested something last night and I think if we come up with a solid plan, it might work.”

“Well it can’t be as bad as the time we went undercover and you tried to get Skaikru to join the alliance,” Anya argues.

“You might rethink want to take that back after you hear my plan.”

“Alright, give it to me.”

“We take Alie and Kane,” Lexa reveals.

Anya laughs instantly – like she actually laughs out loud. “You’re kidding.”

“I’m not,” Lexa replies. She sits up in her chair and looks directly to Anya, “We take them and we lure out Jaha.”

“You’re being serious.”

Lexa nods. “You have to know that infiltrating the party will not be enough. We take them, word gets back to Jaha, he comes back out and we strike again.”

“Jaha comes out of hiding and we’ll be able to track where he’s been and where he might go…” Anya whispers as she lets the plan process through her mind.

“Right.”

“But this is Alie and Kane we’re talking about,” Anya says, “It’s not like we can just put a bag over their heads and drag them into the back of the van.”

Lexa gives her face a harsh rub. “I know. They’d have their usual security detail, plus extra since it’s a party–”

“–Plus extra since they know we’re still out here fighting against them,” Anya adds in.

“Yeah,” Lexa nods. “We have three days to come up with something.”

“We’d have to take out security detail and cameras out without anyone noticing.”

“Becca will have a handle on the cameras with no problem,” Lexa replies.

Anya nods. “Yeah and maybe Monty can get us detail on which agents will be at the party.”

“So we trust him?” Lexa asks.

Anya shrugs. “We hope that we can,” she whispers.

Lexa raises an eyebrow. “Hope? That doesn’t sound like you.”

“Yeah, hope. It’s one of the few things we have to hold on to during this.” Anya shrugs slightly, “Going rogue has changed me.”

 

* * *

 

_“French toast… eggs benedict… and the pancake stack…. Enjoy your breakfast.”_

“Thanks,” Clarke smiles as the waitress leaves the table. Raven, Octavia and herself start on their food immediately, only just realising how hungry they are. It’s been so long since any of them have had a proper meal so this breakfast is a welcome delight.

It’s quiet as they start their meal. There is something Clarke can’t quite explain about the atmosphere between the three of them. It’s not awkwardness or tension but there is something about this moment that is making her feel slightly uneasy.

Raven notices. “You okay, Griffin?”

Clarke gives an unconvincing nod. “This just feels weird.”

“It’s because it feels normal,” Octavia mumbles between her bites. “ _This_ feels like three friends casually catching up over lunch when in fact we were kicked out of the Batcave.”

“You called it the Batcave,” Raven snickers.

Octavia shrugs her shoulders, “It’s catchy.”

“Think you can get Lexa to call it the Batcave?”

“Ha!” Octavia laughs, “Good luck with that.”

Clarke nods to herself, “You’re right, this does feel sort of normal. It’s an odd feeling.”

“You can say that again,” Octavia replies.

The meal continues on in silence, with the atmosphere returning back to normal (well their normal). Clarke is no stranger to pretending like everything is okay in the public eye. But in her mind she’s running a million thoughts over and over. She’s trying to figure out a plan she can suggest to the group when they reconvene.

Coming into the group late has got Clarke feeling like she needs to step up and pull her weight around. Lexa, Anya, Becca and Octavia have been in this since the beginning. Lincoln is a former Reaper and has skills that exceeds everyone else’s. And Raven and Aden are the brains behind the technology. While Clarke knows she’s a good agent, she wants to make sure everyone sees her value in the team.

“Have either of you thought about a possible plan?” Raven asks.

“I have something,” Clarke whispers, “But it’s going to sound crazy.”

“I like crazy,” Raven replies.

Clarke laughs a little. “That’s no secret.” She pauses and takes a sip of her coffee. “So our next move is to lure Jaha back out, right?”

Both Raven and Octavia nod.

“And infiltrating the party won’t be enough,” Clarke continues. “I say we take Alie and Kane.”

“What?” Octavia asks.

“We take them and we make sure it gets back to The Ark.”

“That’s insane,” Octavia breathes.

“So insane that it might just work,” Raven replies. Octavia shots Raven a hard earning stare with Raven responding by throwing her hands up in the air, “Hey, we all know that Jaha isn’t going to come out of wherever he is because we infiltrated a party.”

“But kidnapping?” Octavia asks, “There has to be a better way.”

“If there is I would love to hear it.”

“It’s not ideal but I don’t think there’s anything else we can do,” Clarke cuts in. “This might be our only shot for a while. It’s got to be a pretty important party for them to make an appearance.”

Surprisingly Octavia gives an understanding nod. It’s clear that Octavia knows that they have to do something pretty drastic and Clarke understands her reservations. Despite being a part of The Ark these past couple of months, she’s still the one with the least experience out of all of them. That’s not to say she isn’t any good, because she is. But there are certain things one can gain only through experience.

“How would we even get them?” Octavia asks. “They’re going to be surrounded by agents and not to mention the other people at the party.”

Clarke thinks about it for a moment because they can’t just go in hot and strong. The preferred method is always to go in quietly, to always keep civilian involvement to a minimum. She’s been on a few missions where innocent bystanders have been hurt and killed and it always takes a massive toll. But this time is different. They want to change things, they aren’t The Ark and they need to prove that they fighting for a better change (one that doesn’t involve the way The Ark does things).

“I don’t know,” Clarke replies, “But we’ll put it to the group and see what they think about it.”

 

* * *

 

Lexa brings up the immunity deal when the group comes back together. She figures that some good news might help them see the light at the end of the tunnel. The conversation goes on for longer than she expects it to. But by the end of it, Lexa realises that it’s definitely one of the most important conversations they’ve had to have.

This is the rest of their lives they are talking about. Of course there are reservations about the remaining Ark agents being assessed on a case by case basis, but Lexa reminds them that this is the best deal they can get. She knows and she understands that there are some in The Ark who do not have the abilities to switch sides, but Lexa does not see a way in which she can convince the FBI to give them a chance.

Everyone around the tables signs the deal.

 

* * *

  

The group decides to go with Clarke’s suggestion on taking Alie and Kane. Everyone knows that they need to do make a big impact in order to get Jaha out of hiding but it doesn’t stop some of them from feeling uneasy about essentially staging a kidnapping. Lexa gets their concerns but reassures them that this is what they need to do.

So they spend the next couple of days getting ready for the mission. It’s actually Aden who comes up with an ingenious addition to the plan. He suggests that they use their weakness against them to bring them in. While Alie and Kane are two people who stand at the top of the organisation and seem to have no weaknesses, the group figures out who they can use.

For Kane it’s his mother, Vera. Vera runs a charity that aims to protect endangered environmental sites and has no connection to The Ark (other than her son). So they won’t be physically bringing her in any way, they just need Kane to think that they did. There is enough video and audio footage on the internet to let Aden create an audio clip sounding like Vera is with them.

With Alie it’s a little harder to figure out who they can use. She’s the most private person of the organisation and there is very little about her online or even on the dark web. But after some long talks and careful consideration, Becca steps forward and offers herself as bait. This will obviously let The Ark know that Becca is in fact alive, but she says that she will do whatever it takes to put an end to all of this.

Lexa also gets some more intel from Monty. He tells her that there will be fifteen agents at the party. Five are assigned to Kane, another five to Becca and the remaining are to disguise themselves amongst the crowd as extra protection. Of course Lexa takes the information knowing very well it could be false, but it’s a place for them to start.

The better part of the day is spent practicing on how they can quietly take out the agents at the party before Kane or Alie realise. It’s no easy mission and they decide that they should cause a distraction outside the party that will catch the agents’ attention. Of course not all agents will attend to the distraction, but there will be significantly less of them so it’ll be easier to take them out.

Anya teaches them multiple ways to hit the agents with what Becca calls a “sleeping drug.” It’s non-lethal and will knock out the agents for a couple of hours. They will wake up feeling a little dizzy and nauseas but that’s about it.

They spilt into three teams:

  1. Team 1 is Lexa, Aden and Becca. Since The Ark thinks that Lexa is dead (again) she’s not allowed out in the field. While Lexa hates sitting on the sidelines she knows that it could be used to their advantage later down the track. She will help assist Aden and Becca run operations from the command centre
  2. Team 2 is Lincoln and Octavia. They are going to be responsible for creating the distraction outside and taking the agents who rush out to inspect it. They are also responsible for the cover story afterwards.
  3. Team 3 is Clarke, Anya and Raven. They will remain in the party, handle the agents who are left behind and take Alie and Kane.



 

* * *

 

Friday night comes around and everyone seems to be prepared as they can be. While there is nervousness amongst the group, there is a certain calmness amongst the group aswell. Everyone knows what they have to do and where they have to be. They’ve got back-up plans for their back-up plans and as much alternative solutions as they can remember.

Becca gives Team 3 the address of the warehouse Alie and Kane will be taken to. It’s another abandoned place which Becca acquired some time ago. Becca’s equipped the place with sufficient security for the time being, at least until they can get what they want.

They’re now in the command centre and everyone is in the process of getting ready. They have body cameras, mics, weapons, the “sleeping drug” and a few other things they need for their particular tasks. Clarke finishes getting ready before anyone else does. She makes her towards Lexa, who sits at the computers with Becca and Aden. There’s no doubt that Lexa wants to be out on the field tonight, but it’s better this way.

“Hey,” Clarke whispers, tugging at Lexa’s arm softly. “Can I steal you away for a second?”

Before Lexa gets a chance to reply, Becca is nodding. “Go ahead Lexa.”

Clarke offers a small smile and they walk over to a quiet corner of the room. Without a moment’s notice she finds herself in Lexa’s arms. The hug is tight, warm, _loving._ They hold each other for the time being and Clarke falls right in. They’ve got so much going on but they will make time for _this._ It’s never a welcomed thought, but they both know that anything can happen out on the mission. So _this_ moment is so important.

“Be safe,” Lexa whispers. “I wish I could be out there with you.”

Clarke nods into the hug, “I know, but it’s better this way.”

“I know. I just feel like I’m not doing my part–”

“You’re still doing your part, Lex.” Clarke pauses and pulls back from the hug, bringing her hands up to Lexa’s shoulders. “You are an extra pair of eyes and ears out there. We need you.”

Lexa gives a small nod before leaning in for a kiss. It’s a quick kiss, but it’s more than enough for Clarke (especially since there was a time she would never see Lexa again.)

When they return to the group, everyone is ready to go. Before they get into their cars they run through the plan one more time. Once that they ensure that everyone knows what they’re doing and that mics and body cameras are working, they are off.

Clarke drives one of the SUV’s with Anya and Raven in the back. There’s no more talking now, it’s time for them to all mentally prepare themselves for the task at hand. Their ultimate goal is the get Alie and Kane and take them back to the warehouse. Lincoln and Octavia will create a diversion, which will hopefully deter a majority of the agents away. It’s then Clarke, Anya and Raven who have to deal with the rest before getting to their target.

She thinks this every time they do something, but this is their craziest plan yet. They have been on thin ice for a very long time and there’s no doubt that this is a make or break mission to their overall goal in taking down the Ark. But on the slightly positive side, Clarke’s instincts are telling her that they can do this.

Eventually they get to the party there’s a familiar shift in the atmosphere. One that tells that it’s back to business. Anya, being team leader, takes the lead and runs down the plan again. They have to situate themselves inside the building until Lincoln and Octavia set off the distraction. Their initially distraction was going to be a fire or an explosion of some sorts, but that would cause a chaos and that’s the last thing they need. Instead Lincoln and Octavia are planting a fake explosive device under one of the Ark cars trigger an alarm.

“ _Team 2, in position?”_ Lexa asks through the mic.

Lincoln confirms.

“ _Team 3?”_

Anya confirms.

“ _Then Team 2, it’s time to move.”_

 _“Moving,”_ Lincoln replies, “ _Will keep you updated.”_

Now for Clarke, Anya and Raven it’s a matter of waiting for Lincoln and Octavia to do their thing. They wait in an empty room besides the kitchen to make their move. From here they wait and listen as Lincoln goes through the motions of the plan. So far all is going well and they don’t run into any trouble (yet).

About fifteen minutes later, Lincoln is giving them the 2-minute warning. This plan is all about timing and there is little room for error. Clarke and her team get ready to make their move in the main function room. Lexa tells them that Alie and Kane are inside making the rounds and there are fifteen agents also in the room.

“Ready?” Clarke asks Anya and Raven.

They both respond with a quick nod and they’re off through the corridors. They make their way past the kitchen, through to the main function room, listening as Lincoln is about to set off the fake explosive (nothing but a few loud beeps will go off from it). They get to the back entrance and Anya tells Lincoln that they’re in position.

Lincoln and Octavia both talk over the mics with what they’re doing. It’s the best way to ensure that everything is going to plan and just in case something does go wrong, they can run through one of their back-up plans.

“ _Device is in place. Thirty seconds.”_

Clarke takes a couple of deep breaths and gets ready to head into the function room. It’s probably the longest thirty seconds of her life, but eventually Lincoln says that the device has gone off. And like clockwork, eleven agents run past Clarke as they leave the function centre. They’re all in such a rush to get outside that Anya and Raven manage to knock out the three last agents without being caught.

After putting the three agents in a room, Clarke, Anya and Raven slyly slip into the function centre. They split up and mingle with the crowd. They all spot the remaining four agents in the room, who hover closely by Alie and Kane. But they do not have time on their side, so they have to make quick work with knocking them out.

Clarke gets closer to Dean, staying behind him to make sure she isn’t made. She strikes the moment he’s alone, jabbing the needle into his arm and offering support as he goes limp. Dean becomes unaware of his surroundings as he’s being walked out of the function room. To anyone else it would look like Dean’s just had a little too much to drink. When they get to the room that with the other unconscious agents, Clarke drops Dean against the wall. And just as she’s turning back around, Raven and Anya are coming in with the last three agents.

They settle the agents down and instantly make their way out. They go their separate ways from here, with Raven going to get the van ready and Clarke and Anya going to get Kane and Alie. Clarke’s goal is to get Alie, with Anya needs to get Kane.

A shiver travels down Clarke’s spine as she approaches Alie. After being around Becca again she remembers how the women are at opposite ends of the spectrum.  

“Alie,” Clarke greets.

Alie turns around but is unfazed by Clarke’s presence. The people around her disperse and she looks around the room and obviously notices that there are no agents left. “What do you want Clarke? I’m busy here.”

Clarke smiles. “Just a moment of your time.” She motions her head out towards the exit and surprisingly, Alie follows. Just as they find an empty room Clarke grabs her phone and gives Becca a call. She puts it on speaker and stares at Alie as the ringing tone plays out.

“Who are you calling?” Alie asks.

The ringing tone finishes playing as the other end of the call is picked up. To say that Clarke’s heart is beating fast would be an understatement. “You there?” Clarke whispers.

“ _I’m here.”_

Alie’s eyes immediately widen at the sound of Becca’s voice. Her overall expression falls as she tries to comprehend what’s happening in the moment.

“ _Alie? Are you there? It’s me… Becca.”_

Alie’s expression turns back to being serious, “Some technology you have there, Clarke. But we all know that Becca is dead.”

“ _It’s me, Alie.”_

Clarke nods, “It’s her.” Without saying anything else Clarke switches the call to video, handing the phone back once Becca’s face is on the screen.

Alie’s expression is hard to read, which isn’t much of a surprise. “Sixth birthday party,” she says. To Clarke it makes little sense, but the tone in Alie’s voice says that she knows exactly what she’s doing.

“ _I had to pretend to be the both us for about hour so you didn’t have to greet our family,”_ Becca replies coolly. “ _We got away with it too. We were smart kids.”_

“I wish we could still say that.”

” _What?”_

Alie clears her throat slightly. “You’re working with _them_ now?”

At this moment Alie stares directly to Clarke. It’s meant to be a crude and harsh remark and Clarke feels it. But she pushes the feeling aside and holds her ground. She can’t falter, not now, otherwise their plan fails. But she’s meant to be breaking down Alie’s walls, not the other way around. Fortunately for her there’s an obvious change in the way Alie carries herself after hearing Becca. Clarke never thought she would see the day that the Alie Pramheda would look so… un-Alie like.

“ _So that’s really the first thing you say to your sister in all these years?”_ Becca asks.

“I could say the same about you.”

“ _I want to see you.”_

Alie almost scoffs. “Why? Your merry little band of rogue assassins has gone to shambles. Lexa is dead. There is no one to lead the losing battle she began.”

“ _That’s why I want to see you,”_ Becca replies, “ _I want to make a deal.”_

 _“_ A deal?”

_“A deal.”_

If looks could kill, Clarke would have died a couple of times in the past minute alone. But still, she manages to hold her ground. “You should hear her out,” Clarke prompts.

“Of course you would say that,” Alie replies rather sternly. “You’re working on the same side.”

“But like you said, it’s a losing battle,” Clarke lies.

Alie glances at Clarke, then back to Becca on the phone. “Let me guess, to hear this deal I would have to leave this party with Clarke, without being noticed.”

Clarke nods and Becca confirms with a simple, “Yes.”

“I’ve got a tracker,” Alie reminds them.

“ _Already taken care of. There’s a car waiting out the back for you.”_

“You’re alive,” Alie whispers. And it’s in this moment that Clarke can tell that the news has sunken in. She knows the feeling well.

Becca nods. “ _I’m alive and I want to see you.”_

“You want to make a deal with me,” Alie corrects.

“ _That is true,”_ Becca replies, “ _But I do still want to see you.”_

Clarke is simply a bystander at this point. There is no deal, but they knew that getting to Alie would be hard. There needs to be an incentive for her to come to the meeting (for other than Becca). In Alie’s eyes, Becca is probably the person who’s betrayed her the most and that is something that needed to be carefully considered into the plan.

“ _Put Clarke back on the line.”_

Alie hands over the phone without a second thought and Becca’s since closed the video aspect of the call. Clarke turns off the speaker and puts the phone back to her ear.

“I’ll come,” Alie says.

Clarke nods and returns back to the phone. “You heard that Becca?”

“ _I did. I’m off speaker, right? Alie can’t hear what I’m saying?”_

Clarke keeps her eyes on Alie, who remains standing tall and still at the other end of the room. “Yes,” she replies.

“T _here’s a change in the plan.”_

“What?” Clarke whispers.

“ _Lexa just got off the phone with Anya. We will explain once you get back.”_

“Do I need to do anything else?”

Becca hums in response. “ _Just get Alie to send Kane a message saying that she’s leaving the party early. Then follow the plan, Anya’s waiting for you outside. Lincoln and Octavia are already starting the cover story.”_

Clarke nods to herself and hangs up the call. She looks back to Alie, “I need your phone.”

“Why?” Alie asks.

Clarke steps forward and opens her hand, silently asking for the phone again. It takes a couple of seconds but before she knows it, Alie is handing over the phone. Clarke makes quick work of the message, making sure she follows Alie’s way of typing to not raise any suspicions.

Once that is done Clarke gets Alie’s hands in some zip locks (which is another image should never thought she would see) and is checking if the coast is clear. A couple of people walk past before Clarke is guiding Alie out of the room and towards the back entrance.

Not a couple of minutes later Clarke is making her way out towards where the SUV is. To her surprise Anya and Raven are there already, but there is no Kane. She assumes that this is part of their new plan of theirs and doesn’t ask questions (also because Anya’s face is telling her that she’ll explain once they get back to the safe house.)

Anya steps up to Alie and gives her the courtesy of telling her about the sleeping drug that’s about to be administered into her system (though it’s questionable on whether or not she deserves it). But Alie goes limp a minute later and Clarke helps put the woman into the back of the SUV.

“Who would have thought we’d be putting the assistant director of the Ark into the back of our SUV,” Clarke jokes.

Anya closes the door and starts to make her way to the driver’s seat. “It’s only going to get weirder once you hear our revised plan.”

“I don’t doubt that,” Clarke replies.

“Let’s go,” Raven cuts in. “Lincoln and Octavia are two minutes away from finishing the cover up and we need to get out of here.”

 


	21. game change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> plans changed. will it be for the good or bad?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you're well xx 
> 
> happy reading!

Plans changing mid mission is never an ideal situation, but when the stakes are this high, they take what they can get and prioritise what will help them move forward with their overall goal. And this change they recently took on will do exactly that (hopefully).

Lexa’s arrives at another warehouse Becca owns just after midnight. This is where they’re keeping Alie for the time being. She knows it’s a risk to be here but there’s no intention to show herself to Alie. Her team is here, and she needs to be with them. 

What she’s been told is that Alie is currently locked in a sealed room. There’s cameras monitoring her, and Lincoln and Octavia are currently standing guard outside. Lexa walks into the warehouse and sees them, gives them a quick nod before walking up a set of stairs and into another smaller room. It’s an office of some sorts, and it’s where Becca, Anya, Raven and Clarke are currently watching Alie on some monitors.

On the screen, Alie sits as patient as ever. Her legs crossed, her head held high and her eyes closed.

“How long has she been like that?” Lexa asks.

Everyone in the room turns around and the first thing that is said is that she shouldn’t be anywhere near here. But Lexa changes the topic, they’ve got more pressing matters to worry about other than the fact that her secret might be blown.

Clarke is the first one to give up her initial efforts. “Since she was brought in,” she replies, “And can I be the first to say that this plan is crazy, even by our standards.”

“I would have to agree,” Raven chimes in.

Lexa silently agrees too. But she has a feeling that their plans are only ever going to get crazier if they want to take down The Ark. This is an entity that’s lived and thrived for years, preying on the young and naïve, all the while being able to hide from the public eye.

They’ve got a new plan. While the goal is the same, to lure Jaha out of hiding with the boxes, they’re also going to infiltrate The Ark (again). Once they know Jaha is back, they’re going to go in and try and get the remaining two boxes. And the way they’re going to infiltrate The Ark is through Becca. Becca has offered to pretend to be Alie in order for them to get inside.

Lexa is still trying to process this idea. When Becca offered herself like that, her initial response was “no.” But the more she thinks about it, the more she realises that they’re sitting on a gold mine of an idea. It’s just taking her a little longer to try and come to terms with it. They don’t have any details at the moment, just that if they were going to do it, they couldn’t have Kane in their custody. Having Kane would stretch them too thin. They need all they have focused on this new (potential) mission of theirs.

Right now, The Ark has no suspicions that Alie is gone. This buys them a day since Ark protocol is that senior management check in every 24 hours. Lexa’s best guess from here is that they’re going to keep Alie for a couple of days, long enough for The Ark to start getting worried. There’s no doubt that Jaha wouldn’t come to light during this time, and they’ll find a way to get in from there.

They all just continue staring at the monitors. Alie hasn’t moved an inch in the time Lexa’s been in the room and it sends a shiver down her spine. Even through the cameras, the woman still has got an eerie presence.

“So what’s the plan?” Raven asks.

“The plan is…” Lexa trails, “We get together first thing tomorrow morning. You guys did good out there tonight, you need your rest.”

“Lincoln and Octavia have offered to stand guard tonight,” Becca adds. “I’ll stay here too, and i’ll call if there’s any problems.”

“Are you sure?” Lexa asks.

Becca nods, her eyes going back to the monitors. “I’m sure.”

Lexa looks around at the other three women in the room, and they’re just about ready to leave. “Give me a second,” she tells them. She doesn’t need to explain any further before they’re giving an understanding nod.

“Take your time,” Anya whispers as she walks past. “We’ll wait for you downstairs.”

Lexa nods and offers a reassuring smile. When Raven walks past, Lexa gives her a small squeeze on the shoulder and then Clarke comes to stop in front of her. Clarke kisses the top of Lexa’s forehead without a word, and leaves.

Once the door closes, Lexa makes her way to sit on empty seat besides Becca. She thinks she knows a little bit about what Becca is feeling in this moment. They both faked their deaths and they’ve both had to resurface. Lexa went through a wide range of emotions, ones that she can’t quite explain but it took a lot from her emotionally and mentally.

“How are you feeling?” Lexa asks.

“How did you do it?” Becca counters almost immediately. Her eyes don’t leave the screen and her voice is a little softer, a little fragile.

“I just did,” Lexa replies, “I came back hoping that everyone would have hated me for doing what I did and what I was about to do.”

“But instead they joined your side…”

Lexa nods. “They did… but I would have never imagined it in the years leading up to my return.”

“I don’t know what I’m going to say when I see her again,” Becca reveals.

Silence fills the space between them and Lexa just doesn’t know what to say. She doesn’t know what Becca could say either, she barely had her own words to say when she first saw Clarke again.

“I made my own sister believe I was dead,” Becca continues, “Alie is going to kill me the first chance she gets.”

“She’s not going to do that,” Lexa defends weakly.

Becca scoffs and turns in her chair to face Lexa directly. “Look me in the eyes and say that.”

The words just seem to catch in her throat.

“See,” Becca whispers, turning back in her chair. “You don’t even believe it yourself.”

“I won’t let anything happen to you.”

“I know.” Becca pauses again, changes a few of the screens on the monitors before continuing, “I know you think that this is crazy–”

“–That’s one word to describe it,” Lexa cuts in.

“This is the only way we have left into the Ark.”

Lexa nods because she knows that they’re running out of options. “We better make it count then,” she replies.

“Yeah.”

Lexa motions her head towards the monitors, “So when are you going to talk to her?”

“I saw that you signed Monty’s name onto the immunity deal.”

The obvious change in the topic doesn’t surprise Lexa. But she isn’t going to push, if Becca wants to talk about it then Lexa’s here for her, if not then that’s her own choice. However, the change in the topic causes Lexa’s heart beat to pick up a little more. She did sign Monty’s name onto the deal after everyone else signed it. She really believes that he is on their side and it would be unfair if he didn’t get it after helping them take down The Ark (plus it would be easy to take away the immunity deal if the worse were to happen).

“I hope that your trust is well placed,” Becca continues.

“Yeah me too.”

“You know…” Becca trails, “I trust him too. And if we want to be certain that he on our side, I have an idea.”

“Let’s hear it.”

 

* * *

 

“This is fucking absurd!” Octavia screams. “That is your plan?”

Lexa looks to Becca for confirmation before nodding. “This is the plan.” She looks around the room and there’s a mix expression amongst the group. Becca and herself talked about the plan the night before and Lexa thinks that it could work (if executed correctly of course).

So the plan is that they’ll keep Alie until The Ark starts their search. They’ll let the location of the warehouse slip for just a moment, but a moment long enough for Monty to pick up on it. They’ll stage the warehouse to look like they’re keeping Alie there (when actually it will be Becca as Alie) (Or Alie 2.0 as they’re calling it, to make it easier to distinguish between the people). And when Ark agents hit, they’ll put up a fight but eventually will “lose”, letting the agents take Becca and Lexa with them.

Once they’re back in The Ark, Alie 2.0 will make it look like she wants to interrogate Lexa but it will be a front to let Lexa travel through the vents and into Jaha’s office. They tell the group that Becca can pre-open the safe with her phone but it will actually be Monty. His involvement in this is still a secret to most of the group.

Lexa will get the boxes, make her way back through the vents and back into the interrogation room. Alie 2.0 will make up some excuse to move Lexa out of the facility, saying that her group have infiltrated The Ark more than they would have liked and it’s just not safe to have her there. When in transit, Anya will lead a team to intercept the vans and it will essentially be a snatch and grab mission from there.

“You’re not going into the Ark,” Clarke argues, “We have to keep them thinking that you’re dead.”

“I’m not going to ask any one of you to infiltrate The Ark,” Lexa replies. She doesn’t care if they know that she’s still alive. Her reappearance will add fuel to the fire and hopefully cause the chaos she wants.

“I’ll do it,” Clarke replies.

Lexa’s response is instantaneous with a sharp “no” echoing through the room.

“Lexa–” Clarke whispers.

Before Lexa can counter, Anya is speaking up, “I agree with Clarke.”

“Me too,” Lincoln chimes in.

Lexa’s pretty sure that she’s lost this but it’s not going to stop her from trying. Infiltrating The Ark is never something to be taken lightly. They will be going into an enclosed facility of trained assassins. While the team she has now is good, they are greatly outnumbered.

“They’re going to find out that I’m alive sooner or later,” Lexa reminds them. “We need–”

Clarke shakes her head, “Let it be later,” she interrupts. “You’re in no position to be going in there.”

“I’m fine.”

“Then fight me.”

“What?” Lexa asks.

“You heard me, fight me.” Clarke pauses and steps around to the empty area of the floor, “I’m not afraid to say that you’re a better fighter than I am.”

“I’m not going to fight you.”

“Then you’re not going in,” Clarke says, “Fight me. If you win you go in. You lose, I go in.”

“Clarke,” Lexa pleads.

Clarke shakes her head and shrugs off her jacket. “If you were 100% then I wouldn’t have a problem with you going in,” she says quietly, “But you’re not. You’re still recovering.”

“I am fine,” Lexa reassures them. But she looks around the room and can tell that not everyone is convinced. “Fine,” she huffs. She stands from her seat and looks around the room again, “If I win then I go in. That’s the deal?”

Everyone nods besides Octavia. “Just let Clarke do it,” she pleads. “You don’t have to prove yourself to us.”

Lexa gives a slight shake of her head before moving to stand in front of Clarke. She doesn’t want to fight Clarke, but she would rather fight Clarke then let her infiltrate The Ark. Everyone comes and surrounds them, giving them enough space for what’s about to happen.

Anya approaches with a nonchalant attitude with what’s about the happen. “Recruit rules,” she announces, officially taking her position as the referee.

“Recruit rules,” both Clarke and Lexa confirm.

Anya nods, “Hands,” she says.

Lexa holds her hand out in a fist in front of her, with Clarke doing the same. Their knuckles press against each other and with one look from Clarke, Lexa swallows the sudden lump in her throat.

Anya places her hand over their knuckles to let them know that she’ll give the go ahead any moment now. She presses down on their knuckles and takes an immediate step back.

Clarke does not wait at all and she’s stepping forward, swinging her fist. Lexa manages to dodge it, just barely and takes less than a second to get her bearings back. She knows that this is a fight, but it’s a fight against Clarke.

Lexa tries to gain the upper hand, but Clarke manages to maintain her ground. Clarke is undoubtedly a great agent, a great fighter and it shows. Lexa is knocked off her feet a couple of times in the first few minutes. But she manages to get up and keep going.

However, she can feel it.

She can feel that she is not 100% yet.

Clarke manages to get her in a choke hold, “Stop holding back!” she grunts. “The Ark will not hold back!”

Lexa tries to escape, but Clarke holds on tighter. She isn’t holding back but she isn’t going to say it out loud.

Clarke flips them around so that they’re facing away from the rest of the group. “I lost you once,” Clarke whispers just loud enough for Lexa to hear, “And it’s not about to happen again.”

Lexa takes a deep breath and flips Clarke over her body, sending the other woman falling flat on her back. But Clarke’s resilience and determination does not let up. She’s on her feet swiftly, aiming for Lexa and gaining back the upper hand in her first move.

When Lexa ends up with her back against the floor and Clarke’s foot on her chest, she knows she’s lost. She lets out an audible huff.

“You aren’t ready,” Clarke says. She takes her foot off and offers a helping hand to get up.

Lexa gets back up on two feet, straightens up and accepts her loss. She asks if anyone has any problems with Clarke going into The Ark, but no one says anything to argue with her. They all (now) seem to agree that Clarke should be the one to do it.

So the only thing that changes with the proposed plan is that Clarke will take Lexa’s spot.

 

* * *

 

Later that night Lexa finds herself walking into her room after a long and tiring the day. After the fight they spent the majority of their time refining the plan. They looked at the blue prints of The Ark again, possible routes Clarke can take and interception points for the snatch and grab at the end. By the end of it all they seem to have a well-put together plan.

Becca also starts practicing to become Alie 2.0. She’s a quick learner, nailing the posture, stance and walk almost immediately. Her tone and enunciation is done well, however it’s her ability to hold a conversation as Alie that might be her downfall. But she had a few days to work on it so that should give her time to get it right.

Tonight, Aden, Anya and Raven are watching over Alie. Last Lexa heard, Alie is still as patient as ever. It’s a scary thought considering that she’s essentially been kidnapped. She hasn’t said much though, only asking for Becca whenever someone walks into the room.

As she walks through to her bedroom, Lexa finds Clarke pressing her fingers into various parts of her body. “You okay?” she asks.

Clarke hums in response and smiles. “Just a couple of bruises. Nothing major.” She pats the empty side of the bed, inviting Lexa to sit down. “And you? You okay?”

Lexa nods and takes a seat. She leans her head on Clarke’s shoulders, “Just a couple of bruises too,” she repeats.

“And overall?”

“Overall…” Lexa trails off. “Overall, I will be okay. I would have done what you did if the situation were reversed.” She moves her hand to rest of Clarke’s thigh, “Doesn’t mean I like it though.”

“I know.”

“You said that you can’t lose me again. But Clarke, I can’t lose you either.”

Clarke hums softly, “You won’t, not if I have anything to say about it.” She pauses. “I can do this, Lexa.”

“I know you can,” Lexa whispers. “I just wish I was the one doing it.” Without much warning, she starts to feel herself crying. But she doesn’t try to hide it from Clarke, she lets the tears fall and the quiet sobs escape her lips. It’s been a while since she’s cried, and maybe its due time to let everything out.

“You’re okay,” Clarke whispers, pulling Lexa in closer. She turns her body so that she can hug Lexa easier, and pulls her in impossibly closer. “We’re all going to be okay.”

All Lexa can manage is a few nods against Clarke’s shoulder. They sit together for what feels like forever, but even forever wouldn’t be enough for Lexa. There’s a few moments in her life that she feels like falling into a void, escaping from it all and disappearing from this life. Now is one of those times.

 

* * *

 

 

The following days are about getting ready for the mission. Anya and Lincoln take the lead in training Clarke and Becca in the time they have. While the plan is to go in quietly, anything can go wrong and they need to be prepared physically, mentally and emotionally. Day in and day out they train, because the last thing that’s going to happen is losing someone in this new mission of theirs.

Becca continues to master her Alie cover. Raven helps with the hair and makeup, but they have to downplay it because it’s meant to look like she’s been held captive. There’s quick improvement in Becca’s abilities to shift between herself and her sister and it impresses everyone.

Anya also runs through the recovery stage of the plan with the rest of the team. To save Clarke and Becca they’re going to need to hit hard, fast and strong. And because they’re going to be away from civilians they can cause a little more damage (within reason) during the interception.

 

* * *

 

Day 3 of holding Alie is the day they make their move. It’s been a long three days for Clarke, prep for this mission has been nothing like anything in the past. She’s sore all over and feels like the whole world is on her shoulders. But Monty’s told them that the Ark is getting concerned, and that Kane as called in for Jaha. Ark chatters confirms this and it is time for them to strike.

Clarke makes her way into the room where Becca remains monitoring the cameras that watch over Alie. It’s just past 6am but everyone is already up and getting ready for what’s definitely going to be a long day. Becca sits and stares at the cameras, barely realising that she’s not alone anymore.

From what Clarke knows, Becca hasn’t talked to Alie yet. Even before Becca faked her death, she never really fell privy to the relationship between the women. Being an only child herself, Clarke can’t understand what it’s like to have a sibling, so she doesn’t know what to say to help.

“It’s courageous what you’re doing,” Clarke whispers.

Becca doesn’t respond. “Courageous is what you’re doing, Clarke.” She pauses and turns in her chair so that they’re facing each other. “What I’m doing is… making up for the lost time.”

Clarke raises an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“I mean since day 1 Lexa’s been throwing herself out in the line of fire,” Becca replies, “And now since everyone has joined this side… You all would give yourself up for this cause all the while I’ve just been hiding behind my computer.”

“We couldn’t have got this far without you,” Clarke reassures.

“Maybe…”

“No,” Clarke reassures again, “You have been an valuable member of this team.”

“Whatever the case, it’s my turn to do my part,” Becca says.

It takes everything in Clarke not to argue because everyone that’s a part of their team has a purpose. Everyone has their own set of skills that they bring to the table, and without Becca especially there is a lot they could not have done.

“Are you ready for today?” Clarke asks.

“As I’ll ever be,” Becca sighs. “It’s been a long time since I’ve been out on the field.”

Clarke nods understandably. “We’ll have your back the entire time.”

“I don’t doubt that.”

There’s a pause between them as they watch the monitors. Lincoln is going into Alie’s room to give her breakfast and to tell her that she’s being moved today. Of course Alie has no idea what’s going on and they can’t have her in the warehouse since it’s part of the mission. So she’ll be moved to the apartment complex where Becca’s built a makeshift cell in the command centre.

“I still haven’t spoken to her yet,” Becca whispers.

“Do you want to?” Clarke watches as Becca seems to ponder her answer, “I wish I could tell you what I would do if I were in your shoes. But the fact that it’s Alie on the other end of this, it’s hard to imagine.” She pauses. “But I’m surprised she hasn’t retaliated as much as I thought she would.”

“All in due time.”

“Well, you’ll have about half an hour before we have to move her.”

Becca doesn’t respond right away. “What was it like seeing Lexa again?” she asks eventually.

Clarke lets out a small sigh. “It was like I felt everything and nothing all at once,” she whispers. “I wanted to scream and cry… but then I heard Lexa’s voice for the first time and everything felt right.”

“Despite the fact that you had orders to kill her?”

Clarke nods. “I had plenty of opportunities to pull the trigger… but this was Lexa… everything I thought I knew changed the day she came back.”

“I doubt Alie’s feeling like that.”

“You never know…” Clarke replies, “You are sisters.”

“ _Were_ sisters,” Becca corrects.

The silence carries on for a little while longer while they return to watch the monitors. Alie is eating, surprisingly, but after days of refusing food there’s only so much a human body can handle.

“I can come with you if you like.”

Becca raises an eyebrow, silently asking for Clarke to clarify further.

“To talk to Alie,” Clarke continues, “If you need someone in the room, I can be there. I won’t be able to stop what I hear but I can promise that I won’t say anything.”

Becca gives a small nod before standing from her chair. While Clarke was fully genuine is what she’s offered, she is also genuinely surprised by Becca’s acceptance of it. They make their way towards the room Alie’s been held up in, with Lincoln stepping aside and opening the door for them almost instantly.

Becca falters at the entrance. Clarke steps up to her slowly, whispering, “I’ll be right here” in an attempt to give her some positive reassurance. Eventually they step into the room and Alie is staring right at them.

“Uncuff her,” Becca requests.

“Are you sure?” Lincoln asks. When Becca gives him a nod, he does as he’s told.

Once he’s gone, Clarke closes the door and keeps her distance. The two other women in the room just stare at each other. And just for a moment, Clarke swears that she sees a crack in Alie’s façade. Stripping away everything Clarke knows about Becca and Alie, the resemblance between the two women is astonishing.

“Becca Pramheda,” Alie says with a slight scoff, “As she lives and breathes.”

“Hello Alison.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Alie,” Becca corrects softly.

It is taking everything in Clarke to not step in and ask questions. The most obvious one being why Becca called Alie, _Alison_ and what’s the story behind that. But of course, she stays quiet and small against the corner because this is about their reunion first and foremost.

“It’s good to see you again,” Becca continues.

Alie gives off a dissatisfied smile, “Sorry I can’t reciprocate the feeling.” She pauses, and rubs her wrists where the handcuffs were just digging into. “I don’t know what’s more disappointing… You faking your death or finding out your working for the other side.”

The atmosphere in the room grows cold and Clarke shifts, feeling like she really shouldn’t be in the room. She feels like she’s invading a very private moment but Alie hasn’t even glanced her way since coming in.

“I’m not going to try and explain why I’m doing this because I know it’ll just be white noise to you.”

Alie nods. “Then what are you doing here?”

“I wanted to see you,” Becca replies honestly.

“Well you’ve seen me.”

Becca lets out an almost frustrated sigh, “Don’t be like this.”

“Don’t be like what?”

“Like this…” Becca says, gesturing around the room. “You have to know what you’re doing is wrong. We did not build The Ark to turn it into what it is today.”

Alie shakes her head, “Don’t waste your breath,” she says sternly. “Whatever it is you’re going to do to me, just do it.”

Becca turns towards Clarke, “Leave us,” she requests.

“Are you sure?” Clarke asks.

“Yes.”

Clarke takes a look to Alie, then again to Becca. She doesn’t want to leave Becca alone but she knows that she needs to. It’s hard to explain, but this is very sensitive situation they’re both in and Clarke definitely feels like she’s intruding a little. “I’ll be just outside if you need me,” she says before stepping out.

Once outside the room, Clarke closes the door and leans against the wall. She sees Lincoln approaching and before he can ask anything she explains what’s going on. Of course his first question is whether or not Becca should be left alone with Alie, but Clarke tries to reassure him that it’s fine. (She hopes that it’s fine).

The next couple of minutes are agonisingly long. Clarke paces back and forth, with Lincoln offering quiet reassurances from time to time. There’s a lot on her mind; Alie and Becca, Lexa, the mission. It’s going to be a long and hard day for them all and she’s trying to prepare herself as best she can.

Suddenly the door swings open and Becca storms out of the room. “I can’t do this,” she says once the door is shut. “I can’t.”

Clarke jumps towards Becca. She knows the look on the woman’s face, Alie’s got an undeniable skill of getting into people’s mind. And Becca has the face of someone who’s just been told that their whole life has been a lie. “You can,” Clarke reassures, “You can do this. Whatever Alie said was to just get into your mind. She’s playing tricks on you, Becca.”

“What she said was true though,” Becca whispers, “Everything. My parents– Bill– George–”

Clarke immediately shakes her head. “No, you can do this. Alie doesn’t know what she’s talking about. You haven’t seen each other in _years.”_

Becca remains quiet, a little distant from the moment.

“She doesn’t know you,” Clarke continues, “She can’t get into your head. You are smarter and stronger than she is.”

“No I’m not.”

“Yes you are,” Clarke argues. “You faked your death, you managed to stay within the Ark unnoticed all this time–”

“–I’m a horrible person,” Becca cuts in.

“No!” Clarke nearly screams. “You are not. You are a good person. You have saved everyone in this group at least once. We have all made mistakes, but you are trying to make things better. You are on the right side of this.” She pauses and watches as Becca’s mind seems to run with a million thoughts. It’s not an uncommon sight, but it is uncommon knowing the reason behind this moment. Becca’s always been poised, but this is the most vulnerable Clarke has ever seen her.

“ _T-5 minutes!”_ Anya calls from the other side of the room.

That’s the queue for everyone to get ready to move. Alie is going to be moved to the command centre of the safe house whilst the warehouse is set up for the mission.

Clarke tugs at Becca’s arm, “You can do this.”

 

* * *

 

About an hour later Becca returns dressed as Alie 2.0 and ready for the mission. Clarke can tell that there’s still a lot on Becca’s mind, but rightfully so. She believes that it won’t affect them out on the field though. If it did, she definitely would not go through with it.

They’ve managed to block the real Alie’s GPS tracker for the time being. And Raven has rigged from earrings for Becca to wear, ones that clone the real signal. 

Clarke follows Becca to the fake surveillance area they have set up for the mission. It’s solemnly quiet. Becca sits in the chair and starts to wrap the rope around herself. Clarke steps up immediately to help, working to tie Becca’s legs up first.

“You okay?” Clarke asks, not daring to look into Becca’s eyes.

Becca offers a half convincing nod.

“You know how she is,” Clarke continues, “She’s just playing games.”

“Effective games,” Becca whispers.

Clarke scoffs with amusement because she can’t deny it. Alie has got an almost-impeccable way of getting into people’s mind. She herself has been on the receiving end of it multiple times.

“I need you to do something for me.”

“What?” Becca asks.

Clarke works her way with the rope, securing Becca’s arms in the place. “If anything happens on this mission, I need you to go to The Bank of Merrylands. Security box 194, make sure my mum gets everything in there.”

Becca doesn’t reply, but offers a reassuring nod. Clarke is grateful that she doesn’t press further or try to talk her out of it. There is no downplaying the severity of their missions, this one especially. It’s one thing to infiltrate The Ark, but to do it multiple times is absolutely playing with fire.

“Anything you want me to tell Lexa?” Becca asks quietly.

Clarke nods but doesn’t reply straight away. She finishes securing Becca’s arms and moves the remainder of the rope around Becca’s body. "Just remind her that life should be about more than just surviving."

“Okay.”

Clarke finishes tying Becca up and straightens herself up, “I think we’re done here.”

Becca tries to budge under the rope and nods, “Good job,” she replies.

“I’ll let the others know that we’re ready.”

“No need,” Raven says from behind them. “We just have one last thing.” She steps up towards them holding two plastic cups. “Drink up.”

Clarke takes the cup, “Bio tracker?”

Raven nods. “They should activate in five minutes but we couldn’t rig them so that they’ll work while you’re inside The Ark. But once you re-emerge on land, we’ll come get you.”

“Any chance the tracker is diluted in vodka?” Becca jokes.

Raven laughs. “Unfortunately not this time around, boss.” She holds up the cup towards Becca’s lips and slowly helps the woman down the drink. “So you’re ready?” Raven asks once the drink is done.

“Yes,” Becca replies.

Clarke finishes the drink and passes the cup back to Raven, “Let’s do this.”

“Okay.” Raven holds the radio towards her mouth, pressing the call button in the process. “ _Okay, we’re a go. Let the location slip in T-15 minutes.”_

“It’s show time,” Clarke breathes.

Raven reaches for her back pocket and passes Clarke the phone, “Lexa asked you to call her once you have a spare minute.”

“Really?”

“You know that she’s worried sick back at The Batcave,” Raven smiles, “Just call her, tell her that you’re okay and ready.”

“Thanks Raven.”

Clarke excuses herself to the side and gives Lexa a call without a second thought. They saw each other earlier in the day, but just briefly. With the mission on, it was a little chaotic with everyone making sure they had what they needed.

“ _Clarke.”_

Clarke smiles at the sound of Lexa’s voice. “Hey,” she whispers, “You okay?”

“ _Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”_

“You can still ask,” Clarke laughs.

“ _I’m okay. Nervous. Anxious. Normal pre-mission feelings.”_

Clarke nods understandably. “I’m okay too. Fifteen minutes till Raven lets the location drop and we’re a go.”

“ _How’s Becca?”_

“She’s…” Clarke pauses and turns to look at Becca. The woman sits peacefully, eyes closed and is concentrating on her breathing. “It’s been a while for her but she’s doing good.”

“ _Look out for each other out there.”_

“We will,” Clarke reassures.

The line goes quiet for the moment and it’s exactly what Clarke needs. She takes the time to focus on Lexa’s steady breathing on the other end of the call. It’s a calming factor in the chaos that’s about the surround her.

Clarke smiles to herself, “Wish me luck.”

_“Good luck, Agent Griffin.”_

“I love you Lex.”

“ _I love you too, Clarke.”_

 

* * *

 

The Ark takes the bait about the warehouse location and chatter has them closing in within the next five minutes. Everyone is in their positions, and Clarke paces herself around Becca for the time being. Her “role” is meant to be the one that’s looking over Alie 2.0 while The Ark infiltrate them, causing her to be caught in the crossfire.

“We’re crazy,” Clarke mumbles under her breath.

Becca gives her a surprised look, “It’s a bit too late to back out now.”

“There’s no backing out,” Clarke reassures, “It’s just…”

“We’re crazy,” Becca repeats.

Clarke nods, “Yeah, we’re fucking crazy.”

The time actually flies by. Next thing Clarke knows is that she’s getting the minute warning, letting everyone know that it’s time and that there are bodies outside the warehouse. Becca changes her whole façade, changing into Alie 2.0 in time to play her role in all of this.

Immediately there are gun shots outside. It doesn’t worry Clarke though, because those are just dummy shots, trying to throw The Ark agents off their game. There’s quite a few rounds before the doors to the warehouse are knocked open. The clinking of metal bottles echoes throughout the room, and Clarke is sure that they’re about to get hit with some tear gas.

Everyone else is out of the vicinity by now, so Clarke just has to worry about herself and Becca. Before the gas creeps up on them, Clarke manages to fight off a few of the agents. But they are no match for her. She knocks them both out in no time before remembering that she’s meant to be downplaying her abilities to get caught as well.

There’s a lot of commands thrown about the room, most of which are to assure the safe return of Alie.

“ _We have her,”_ one of the agents yells as he approaches the chair. He works to untying Alie 2.0.

“Get me out of here!” Alie 2.0 screams. She turns to Clarke, “Take _her._ Alive.”

The emphasis on ‘ _her’_ gives Clarke a warning that it’s time. She tries to fight off the agents who come at her, but admits defeat when the agent points a gun to her head. And surely enough, Clarke is knocked out just seconds later.

 

* * *

 

Clarke wakes up groggy and feeling like she’s been out for too long. It takes a moment for her to adjust to her surroundings, and when she’s fully aware, she remembers exactly what’s going on. She’s strapped to a chair in a dimly lit room. It feels small. She feels small. She’s able to mover arms, but not enough to make any significant moves.

Then she hears his voice. “ _Clarke.”_

Slowly Clarke raises her head to see Jaha standing in front of her. There’s not much of a reaction at this point and it’s now that she realises how tired she is – not just physically tired but emotionally and mentally too. It’s not the most convenient time for this feeling but it’s one that she really has got to acknowledge. This fight is draining them all in every aspect of their lives. While Clarke sees the light at the end of the tunnel, Clarke also sees a few mountains they need to conquer before reaching the end.

The smirk on Jaha’s face is what draws her back to the moment. It’s cunning, cocky and that’s a good thing for her. It means that he isn’t suspecting anything to go down. Clarke takes in her first, full, deep breath. “Jaha,” she greets.

“Even with Lexa gone you’re still trying to beat me?” he asks.

“We’ve destroyed four of your black boxes,” Clarke reminds him, “I think we’re doing pretty well so far.”

Jaha nods in acknowledgement. “Maybe, but you’re getting sloppy.”

“How so?”

“Look where you are, Clarke,” Jaha snickers. “I must say, having Alie would have gotten you quite far but I guess without Lexa, your team isn’t much of a team.”

“My team is just fine,” Clarke bites back.

Jaha just laughs and walks around the chair. He walks slowly, as if to taunt her in the process. Clarke wants to think that she’s able to look past it, to not let him get to her but there is this presence about the man that’s hard not to notice.

“Taking Alie…” he tuts, “That was a risky move.”

Clarke shrugs some resemblance of a response. At this point she can only hope that Becca is holding up with her end of the mission. She should be coming in at any moment so they can move onto the next phase of their plan.

“You know she’s going to want her payback,” Jaha continues.

“Give me your best shot.”

“You and I both know that I won’t be doing anything to you. I don’t like to get my hands dirty.”

“Oh I know,” Clarke mumbles under her breath, “That’s the reason why The Ark exists in the first place, isn’t it?”

“So who’s leading your little band now?” he asks.

“Why do you care?”

“I just want to know who I’ll be taking down next.” He pauses, walks another lap around the chair before stopping again. “Is it Anya? I bet its Anya. She’s arguably tied for first place in being one of the agency’s best agents.”

“Who’s she tied with?”

Jaha laughs. “You really need me to answer that?”

Clarke lets out a small breath, because no, she does not need him to answer. People in The Ark can disagree all they want about what’s happening, but no one can say that Lexa wasn’t one of the greats.

“Where did I go wrong with her?” Jaha asks, “With all of you actually. I gave you all a second chance, a purpose, more money than you would ever need…”

“You didn’t give us a second chance, you forced it on us.”

“But–”

“No but’s,” Clarke cuts in. “It’s always been comply or die with you.”

“That’s a new one.”

“289,” Clarke whispers.

“And what’s 289?”

“The number of people who died rather than complied since I joined The Ark.”

“Huh…” Jaha huffs, “I thought the count would have been higher.”

Clarke drops her head and shakes it, “You’re a sick man, Jaha.”

Before Jaha can say anything, the door to the room swings open – catching Clarke’s attention. Her head shoots up and there she sees her saving grace. Alie 2.0 walks in, rolling in a trolley of some sorts with agents escorting her.

Alie 2.0 rolls the trolley till it’s right in front of Clarke. From here she doesn’t say anything, simply unfolding the leather case to reveal a range of tools. Clarke knows this is Alie’s torture kit, and she knows that Becca won’t do anything to her but it doesn’t stop her stomach from turning. She has seen this kit been used time and time again and it just brings back horrible memories.

“Leave us,” Alie 2.0 commands.

The agents immediately walk back out of the room.

Alie 2.0 turns towards Jaha, “I’ve told Monty to turn off the cameras for a while. We can’t risk Abby finding out about this.”

Jaha simply nods his head. He turns back towards Clarke, “Goodbye Agent Griffin.” And with that, he turns on his heels and leaves. Alie 2.0 follows him, closing the door once he’s out and locking it immediately. Once it’s secure, Alie 2.0 turns back into Becca.

“Are you okay?” Becca asks quietly.

Clarke nods and waits as Becca helps free her from the chair. It’s an easy enough task once Clarke has one hand free. “Any trouble?”

“Minor,” Becca replies, “But I’ll tell you about it later.”

Once Clarke is free, Becca moves back to her trolley. It’s less than ten seconds later that Becca hands over an earpiece to Clarke, “Monty’s on the other end and he’ll help you through.”

Clarke nods and puts in the earpiece in place, turning it on in the process. “Monty?”

“ _I’m here,”_ he responds.

Clarke lets out a sigh of relief and they make their way over to the vent in the wall. As she’s just unscrewing the last screw, Becca places a timer on her wrist, setting it to five minutes. “Good luck,” she whispers.

“I’ll see you in four minutes,” Clarke replies. She slides into the vents and makes her way towards Jaha’s office. During her time as a loyal Ark agent, she studied the blueprints of the place in her spare time. Of course it’s not something that was required (or even allowed) but she always felt it would come in handy one day (and she was right).

As Clarke makes her way, Monty offers constant updates on Jaha’s location. Fortunately enough he’s on the other side of the facility at the moment and it would take at least five minutes for him to walk back.

Monty has told them that the black boxes are back in the facility, and currently in the safe. Of course there’s the 1% in Clarke that still wanders if Monty is really on their side. So far it has been good, but Monty is smart and Jaha is to. But Clarke chooses the listen to her gut still, to believe that Monty is not going to betray them during this mission (or ever).

Once Clarke is over Jaha’s office, she waits until Monty gives her an all clear before undoing the vents and crawling into the office. When she has two feet set on the ground, a shiver run downs her spine. But she quickly pushes past the feeling and makes her way to the art piece behind the desk. It’s an absolute cliché, hiding the safe behind a painting.

Once the painting is down, Clarke takes a quick glance at the lock. There’s a small screen that runs along the top of keypad.

“ _Take out your earpiece and place it against the safe,”_ Monty tells Clarke, “ _I’ll do the rest.”_

Clarke does as she’s told and within a couple of seconds, random numbers start flashing across the screen of the safe.

“Fancy,” Clarke whispers under her breath. She continues watching as somehow Monty manages to work into cracking the code of the safe. The numbers 2-4-5-1 appear on the screen, with at least another five needed to unlock it.

It’s an agonising time as she waits. Clarke manages to look at her watch, seeing that she has about three minutes left. The remainder of the code shows up on the screen and the door to the safe clicks open.

There’s a few things in the safe; files, blocks of cash and gold bars. But the thing she needs sits in the left side of the space. She grabs the black boxes and the first thing she notices is that there’s an extra silver attachment around them both. It’s like a metal strip, about an inch wide. It is definitely a curious addition to the box, but Clarke doesn’t have time to ponder about it now.

Once her earpiece is back in, the safe closed and the painting is back up on the wall, she’s out of the office. Clarke makes her way back towards Becca, reaching the room with twenty seconds to spare. They don’t wait around for anything else. Becca hides the boxes in the trolley and Clarke takes her position back in the seat. If going rogue has taught them anything, it’s that time is never their friend.

Once Clarke is tied back up, there’s only one thing left to do. They need to make it look like she’s taken a beating. Becca has her reservations and that’s understandable, but they have to keep playing the part to successfully pull off the rest of the mission. The hard part (arguably), is over and now it’s just a matter of staying alive and getting out.

“You can do this,” Clarke whispers.

Becca hesitates at the trolley, looking at the tools with such disgust. “I like to think that I have an iron gut of some sort, but this…” she runs her finger across the hammer, “This is something else entirely.”

“I know.”

“The Interrogator,” Becca scoffs, “What an title to be proud of.”

“Becca…”

“Just give me a second, okay?”

Time is never their friend, but Clarke nods anyways. They all knew that this would be hard for Becca, and it’s not like she could have prepared herself for it. She’s the polar opposite of her sister with this. Compared to Alie, Becca wouldn’t hurt a fly.

“You don’t have to use the tools,” Clarke whispers. “Just give me a few bruises, a few cuts and crack a rib or two before calling a break.”

“You make it sound so easy.”

“This is the easy part of the mission,” Clarke argues.

“I know.”

Clarke leans her head slightly forward, “This is the part we can control. I will be okay. I trust you.”

“Okay,” Becca nods, stepping up to Clarke. “I’m ready.”

Clarke takes a breath to ready herself, “Make it look good.”

 

* * *

 

The next time Clarke wakes up she’s in a moving van of some sorts. She can’t open her eyes just yet, but she takes in what she can. Her hands are in cuffs, cuffs that are a little too tight and digging right into the wrists. The taste of dried blood becomes evident as her body catches up to waking up as well. The bruises also makes themselves known one by one. Clarke is in pain, but she’s been through a lot worse.

With everything seemingly going to plan, Clarke can only assume that Alie 2.0 has managed to convince Jaha that she needs to be moved. When they were planning for this mission, they came up with the excuse that the rogue assassins have infiltrated The Ark too many times to count. And with Clarke in The Ark’s custody, the rest of the team are surely to retaliate and try to get Clarke back.

When she opens her eyes the first person she sees in front of her is Bellamy. He’s heavily armed and with three other agents in the van who are as equally armed. In the front seats she sees the driver and Alie 2.0.

“You okay?” Bellamy whispers.

Clarke just nods and returns her gaze to him. She sits up a little straighter and that’s when she feels something on the inside of her jacket. Instantly she knows it’s one of the black boxes. Becca must have the other one somewhere in the van.

“Where are we going?” Clarke asks, her voice cracking slightly in the process.

Bellamy looks to the other agents for confirmation before answering, “You’re being moved. You’re a flight risk.”

Clarke rolls her eyes and leans back.

“Don’t do anything stupid,” Bellamy warns.

“You’ve got orders to shoot me if I do?”

“Orders to kill,” Bellamy corrects, “So just, don’t do anything stupid.”

She lets the beating in her chest pick up for a moment before settling herself again. There’s no way to know how long she’s been in the van for, so Clarke needs to be ready from here on out. Anya and the others are coming to extract them at any moment.

Minutes pass and it’s just silent. Occasionally there’s a bump in the road, or a turn but there are no windows to give Clarke any indication as to where she is. In the meantime, her mind works to thinking how her extraction might go down. She comes up with various scenarios as to how she can disarm the agents in the car and get out.

“How’s Octavia?” Bellamy asks quietly.

Clarke looks to the other agents first and notices that there’s no reaction from them. “Alive,” she answers.

“Clarke…”

“What do you expect me to say?” Clarke bites back.

That stuns Bellamy, causing him to sit back into his seat. “You’re fighting a losing battle.”

“Why does everyone think that just because Lexa is gone, we’re going to lose?”

“You were always going to lose,” Bellamy whispers.

The words hit harder than Clarke expects it to.

“And now I’m going to see a lot of people I care about die,” Bellamy continues, “And there’s nothing I can do about it.”

“There is,” Clarke slips.

“ _ENOUGH,”_ Alie 2.0 commands from the front seat. “ _Agent Blake, just do you job and watch the prisoner.”_

“Yes ma’am.”

Clarke doesn’t get a chance to see Bellamy’s expression change because before she knows it, another vehicle slams into the side of the van. The van tries to go off, but the tyres end up screeching across the ground and a round of gun fire hits them. Clarke reacts by instantly taking cover for just a second, but then the back door shoots open.

“Don’t let them get Clarke!” Peter yells. He’s the first one to jump out of the van, but he barely makes it two steps before Anya is knocking him to the ground.

Clarke pushes past Bellamy and escapes the van, rolling onto the ground and finding her way onto two feet seconds later. It’s chaos. She doesn’t have time to think before one of the agents is coming after her, but fortunately Lincoln steps in just in time. He pulls her to the side, away from the chaos, and picks the locks on the cuffs to free her.

“It’s good to see you,” Clarke smiles as he throws the cuffs to the side.

Lincoln nods. “Good to see you too.”

They’re quick to re-join the group but notice that they’re not actually needed. Four of the five agents are already down, the only one left standing is Bellamy. But that’s not the only thing, Bellamy stands there with his hands in surrender as Octavia holds a gun towards him. No one is moving, no one is talking. It’s dead quiet.

To keep up with appearances, Anya’s also got Alie 2.0 in handcuffs. A constant small struggle between the two of them makes it a convincing act.

After what feels like an eternity, Anya is the first one to speak. “Clarke, Lincoln, on the bikes,” she commands, “Everyone else in the van.”

Clarke follows the instructions, grabbing a helmet from the back of Anya’s van and taking the black motorcycle. She taps her jacket, right where the box is to make sure she’s still got it (she does).

Raven hops into the driver’s seat and Anya slides open the door, urging Alie 2.0 to go in first. Once Alie 2.0 is secure, Anya turns back, “Octavia,” she whispers.

Clarke watches as Octavia slowly backs towards the van, not once lowering her gun. She can’t even begin to imagine what Octavia is going through right now, but she’ll be sure to check in with her one she can. In the meantime, Clarke revs up her engine, with Lincoln doing the same.

Bellamy stands there like he’s been frozen on the spot. Everyone knows that he poses no threat to them at this point (and it would be incredibly stupid if he tried anything now) but it doesn’t make it any easier. They are all still friends, they’re just on opposite sides on the same war.

The door to the van closes and Raven drives off. Clarke waits until they’re in the clear to move as well. In the mean time Bellamy lowers his arms, but his eyes remain on the van driving away. There’s confusion and disbelief written across his face.

“She would have shot me…” he whispers.

Clarke tries to flip it, “She would have protected her people if she needed to.”

“She would have shot me,” Bellamy repeats.

Lincoln hovers the helmet over his head and says, “We should go, Clarke,” before putting it on completely.

Clarke nods and places her helmet over her head. She lifts up the visor and looks to Bellamy again, “You and I both know that there something you can do,” she says. “Fight with us.” And before Bellamy can respond, Clarke closes her visor and speeds off with Lincoln.

 


	22. adnihilo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's an actual update! 
> 
> the final battle draws closer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been too long so let's get right into it (more notes at the end)  
> here's a quick recap if you don't have time to re-read the last chapter:  
> \- The team has Alie  
> \- Becca becomes "Alie 2.0" in order to infiltrate the Ark with Clarke  
> \- They get in and steal the boxes (which now have silver attachments on them)  
> \- The team does a rescue mission to get Becca and Clarke back  
> \- So all in all, everything goes to plan and we pick up from there

Anya paces back and forth, each step causing the floorboards to echo throughout the room. Usually she’s the most calm, most collected. She always had to be. She was the leader of Alpha team and they all looked to her to guide them. But right now she is anything but calm.

“They’ll be fine,” Raven whispers, “It’s Clarke and Lexa. They will be fine.”

Anya immediately shakes her head. She knows Raven is just trying to help but it doesn’t work. It was an unexpected attack and they _should_ have known. _She_ should have known. They should have been ready for them but now they’re here.

“They should have been here an hour ago,” Anya points out.

Octavia lets out a small sigh, “You know how plans change Anya. They will be fine.”

It’s all white noise to her at this point. While they were able to successfully infiltrate the Ark and grab the remaining two black boxes, they were still caught off guard. What they didn’t find out until it was too late was that the silver attachments to the black boxes were GPS tracking devices.

 

** [13 hours ago] **

Lexa waits as patiently as she can for her team to come back. While everything seems to have gone to plan she won’t feel at ease until they’re all back safely. She hovers behind Aden, who sits at the computers, tracking the team’s movements across the city. It’s just past 5pm, peak hour, but he manages to guide them through the fastest route possible.

It’s not too long before everyone is walking back into the command centre. Of course the first person Lexa goes to is Clarke. They share a long hug.

“Are you okay?” Lexa whispers.

Clarke nods against her should. “I’m good. I promise.”

Lexa lets out a sigh of relief and steps back from the hug. She then makes sure everyone else is okay – and thankfully they all seem to be. They gather around their largest table to go over what happened. 

Their first priority are the black boxes. Becca places them in the middle of the table and Lexa almost feels everyone shutter at the sight. It’s the last two boxes. This is ultimately what they’ve been fighting for since the beginning. The light at the end of the tunnel is closer than it has ever been.

Aden and Raven grab a box each in an attempt to inspect the silver attachment. None of the other black boxes had it so it’s definitely peaks their curiosity. They discuss possible options for what it could be, with the most common response being some extra security device.

“Does it matter what it is?” Octavia asks. “Let’s just destroy them and get this over and done with.”

Lexa is just about the agree but as she’s taking a quick breath to respond, their alarm system goes off. In less than a second Raven, Aden and Becca are up and towards their computers.

“Someone’s tripped the silent alarm!” Raven yells. She’s working frantically to bring up their security feed. But as the video comes up on the monitors all they see is someone shooting at the camera – causing the feed to go blank.

Everyone is up in arms at this point, moving towards their weapons to get ready to fight. It doesn’t take long for Lexa to realise what’s happened.

“It’s a tracking device!” she yells across the room.

Becca moves to grab the boxes, “I’ve got it handled.”

It’s obvious that it’s Ark agents that are closing in on the command centre, so Lexa has to make a quick decision. Their first priority has to be getting the boxes out of here, along with Alie who is still in the makeshift cell.

As Lexa is assembling her gun, she shouts her orders. She gets Octavia, Clarke and Raven to head up first to try and hold off the agents. Anya, Lincoln and Becca are to grab the boxes and Alie and make a run for it. They can’t afford to lose either of them.

They work effectively and efficiently. In less than a minute, Anya is in the van and ready to drive away. Lexa and Aden stand by, weapons hot, just in case there are any Ark agents close by. Fortunately, their escape isn’t interrupted and Anya is gone.

Now it’s a matter of going back and dealing with the rest of the agents. Once they’re back in the command centre, they’re almost attacked immediately. Lexa pushes Aden to safety and takes a quick second to gather her thoughts. It’s hard to determine the number of agents in the room with the constant round of gunfire, but she estimates that there are at least ten.

There’s an obvious disturbance in the moment, which gives Lexa an opportunity to move. She and Aden emerge from their spot and take down a couple of agents each. But as agents go down, more seems to stroll into the command centre. It’s complete chaos.

Lexa knows when she’s been outnumbered. There’s no way she and Aden can take down this many people so she’s got to figure a way out. As she takes cover again, she manages to catch eye with Aden. He signals her a message, saying that he’s got a way out. Lexa tells him to take it immediately.

Aden is hesitant at first, saying that he can cover her to help. But Lexa knows it’s too much of a risk. With one final signal, she tells him to go and covers him instead. Once Aden is out, Lexa reloads her weapon and makes her way back towards the garage. It’s the only route that she can attempt to escape out of.

As she gets closer, the loud revving of an engine startles her. She makes her way towards the garage, dodging the bullets and that’s where she sees Clarke. Clarke is off the motorbike and running towards her. She’s got some sort of device in her hand.

“Get on the bike!” Clarke yells.

Lexa listens as Clarke runs towards the command centre. She looks back to see Clarke throwing the device into the room and making a run back towards the bike. The moment Clarke is on, Lexa is speeding off as fast as she can.

Ten seconds later there’s a loud flash bang coming from behind them and Lexa manages a chuckle.

“Raven?” she asks.

Clarke holds on a little tighter. “Yeah,” she chuckles as well. “She literally made that in like 30 seconds.”

Despite the chaos that just occurred, Lexa still manages a smile. It might be a little morbid but they’ve made it out and that’s all that matters. But she’s spoken too soon.

It doesn’t take long for them to realise that Ark agents are tailing them in an SUV. They are relentless, shooting at them with no care in the world. Lexa swerves through the traffic with the ultimate goal to avoid any civilian casualties.

Clarke grabs her weapons and begins to shoot back at them. It’s a little hazardous but she manages to blow out the two front tyres, allowing Lexa speed off without them being able to follow.

They drive for what seems like hours. Clarke gives Lexa directions to a secluded cabin she knows of. It’ll be a place from them to be able to regroup and think of a way back to their people. They ditch the bike and hide it under branches and shrub and take the forty-minute trek into the woods. 

Lexa picks the lock of the cabin and enters cautiously, her gun up and ready to shot if need be. But luckily there’s no one in there. They only light a few candles, not wanting to draw any attention from anyone that might pass by. They both fall onto the couch with rather exasperated sighs.

“Tell me there’s a plan,” Clarke whispers.

Lexa nods and pulls Clarke closer towards her. “We do,” she replies. “Plan Z is something Octavia, Becca and I came up with at the beginning of all this. We said that if ever we were split up we’d go to the Plan Z safehouse.”

“So Octavia would be there already?” Clarke asks.

Lexa shrugs. “I don’t know. We put a 12-hour time frame on getting there from the moment we split.” As Clarke is about to get off the couch, Lexa pulls her back down and keeps her close. “Rest for a moment, Clarke.”

Clarke does as she's told but with obvious hesitation. She settles onto the couch again. “Do you have your phone on you?" she asks. 

Lexa shakes her head. “There’s probably no reception this far into the woods anyways.”

“How are you so calm?”

“I’m not calm,” Lexa replies.

Clarke nods. “For someone who has just been attacked by Ark agents, you are pretty calm.”

Lexa lets out a long sigh and takes a moment to think about it. It’s now that she realises that she is relatively calm. Thinking about what has just happened, this is the opposite of what she should be feeling.

“You see the end, don’t you?” Clarke whispers.

“I do,” Lexa breathes, “It’s so close, Clarke.”

“It is.”

“Years of planning and fighting, and this is the first time I feel like I can breathe again,” Lexa says. The words come out without much warning, but she’s with Clarke so it’s more than fine.

Clarke nods and leans over, offering the softest and most reassuring kiss. “We’ll finish this and we’ll finally get a life together.”

“I like the sounds of that.”

They don’t spend much long on the couch. They go through the cabin in search of anything that will help them get to the Plan Z safehouse. They also find some much needed food and water to help them refuel. Most of the things they find are pretty useless – that is until Lexa finds a set of car keys. They find a truck behind the cabin. But at first glance, it’s just a pile of junk.

“If only Raven were here,” Clarke mutters.

Lexa hums in agreement but doesn’t accept defeat just yet. She does everything she can to see if she can at least get it running. Walking to the safehouse would be too risky, especially since it’ll leave them open and vulnerable to an attack. While they have managed to lose the agents, there is no doubt that they are still being hunted.  

Clarke doesn’t actually admit defeat either. Instead, the two of them work together to try and figure out any solution to the truck. While they aren’t mechanics (or geniuses like Raven) they know bits here and there. It’s enough to find missing parts to the engine, but not enough to be able to make use of what they have. 

By midnight, their hands are greasy and their clothes are an unrecognisable colour. They smell of sweat and have probably damaged the truck more than anything.

“Plan B?” Clarke suggests.

Lexa nods. “Plan B.”

They make their way back into the house only to find out that the water isn’t working. So again, they have to make do with what they have. It’s a hard task trying to clean themselves with soap and bottled water, but they do the best they can. They also find some (hopefully) clean clothes in the cupboard and get ready to figure out their plan B.

The only option for them is to go back to the motorbike they ditched. But that would mean walking back through the woods, unarmed, for at least forty minutes. They go back and forth on whether or not it’s their only option – and ultimately decide that it is.

So they rummage through the place one more time in attempt to find anything that might help them in a fight (if it were to come to it). In the end, the only things they decide to take are two pocket knives, a torch and some rope.

Lexa guesses that it’s about 2am when they leave the cabin. They stay close to each other and back track their way back to the ditched bike. It’s cold, quiet and absolutely daunting. While Lexa (and Clarke) have been through a lot worse, this is the least prepared they have ever been.

“Are you okay?” Lexa whispers, softly nudging as they continue to trek on.

Clarke nods and gives Lexa’s hand a small squeeze. “And you?”

“I’m okay,” Lexa smiles. While it’s the middle of the night, the moon shines high above them – giving Lexa just enough light to see Clarke smile in response. Like an automatic reaction, Lexa closes the distance between them for a quick kiss. It’s enough to keep them going for the remainder of the time.

About twenty minutes into their walk, they encounter some unexpected people. Lexa pulls Clarke off the trail to hide themselves behind a boulder. She doesn’t let go of Clarke’s hand the entire time and they both listen intently.

Occasionally she sees the flashlight swirl past, but thankfully the boulder keeps them well hidden. Just as luck would have it, the people decide to come to a stop within earshot. There’s a least three of them.

Lexa wants to let out a sigh, but she refrains herself from doing so. Clarke is smiling at her and that eases her for the time being. But that ease slips away the moment a conversation starts between the three people.

“ _How long are we going to wander out here?”_

_“If they’re as good as we’ve heard, they are long gone by now.”_

_“But we’re better.”_

_“We wound have found them by now if–”_

_“–Stop. We have one job. Do it, and do it well.”_

_“Our one job is Operation Adnihilo. Not to become a search party for some loose agents.”_

_“Enough Peterson! You know the boss owes Jaha a favour.”_

_“Whatever.”_

By now Lexa is looking right at Clarke and they both share the same expression. Hearing Jaha’s name is not something they were prepared for. The voice of the men don’t sound familiar at all and with what they’re saying, it strikes something within Lexa. If she’s right, Jaha’s hired an outside black ops group to do something (and it can’t be anything good).

In this moment, Clarke leans in closer and whispers, “We need to get a look at them.”

Lexa nods. She peers from one side of the boulder and Clarke does the same from the other. It takes a moment for her eyes to adjust but she manages to get a semi-clear view of one of the men.

But the men don’t stay for much longer, continuing on the trail. Once they’re completely out of sight both Lexa and Clarke relax a little. But neither of them say anything. Just hours before Lexa was able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. But now that light seems to be further away.

It’s Clarke that gets them moving again. They go the opposite way of the three men – keeping off the trails just in case there’s more of them. They describe the men to each other – putting together a mental profile they can share with the group later. That’s when she remembers one of the guys saying “Operation Adnihilo.” It doesn’t ring a bell to either of them, so they are sure to remember it and bring it up to the group when they reunite.

Fortunately, the rest of the walk is not interrupted and they manage to find the bike once again. Triple checking that there isn’t anyone around, Lexa hops on first and starts it up. Clarke is on high alert as she makes sure everything is still functioning correctly. Thankfully it is and they are off just moments later.

However, the bike only gets them so far. Eventually it runs out of gas and they end up stranded behind a service station. There’s only two options from here; they can somehow steal some gas (since they don’t have any money) or they can steal the car that’s available to them. Neither option is something they want to do, but it’s the only way to get back to their people.

There are a couple of customers filling gas at this point, so they decide to wait it out. The less people around the better it will be for them. It takes about ten minutes for the station to clear out and that’s when Clarke and Lexa make their move.

The guy manning the service station is anything but observant, so breaking into his car and hot wiring it is no problem for the two ladies. In fact, it’s Clarke that does most of the work while Lexa keeps a look out.

“Are we good to go?” Clarke asks, sitting up in the driver’s seat.

Lexa takes a moment to look into the service station where she sees the guy half asleep at the counter. Part of her wants to chuckle and the other part of her knows that it’s no time to mess around.

“Yeah, we’re clear,” she replies. She hops into the passenger seat and the two seemingly get away with no problem.

They keep off main roads and any roads where there might be cameras. The last thing they need now is another surprise attack – they’re vulnerable as it is. So Lexa calculates that it’ll take them a little longer to get to the safehouse than she initially thought (outside their 12 hour time frame placed on the Plan Z protocol).

“Anya’s going to lose her shit when we’re late,” Clarke points out. “You know how she’s a stifler for the rules.”

“She’s got to know that plans change,” Lexa defends.

“There’s no doubt she knows, but the first thing she’s going to say is that we could have called.”

Lexa lets out a small chuckle, “You want to make this interesting, Griffin?”

“You mean you don’t think our lives as rogue assassins isn’t interesting enough?” Clarke teases.

“I bet that the first thing Anya will do is punch my arm, or your arm.”

“And what does the winner get?”

Lexa pauses for a moment. “Bragging rights?” she offers.

Clarke laughs, “You’re on Woods.”

 

As expected, they reach the safehouse around 6am, an hour after the designated 12 hours for Plan Z. They’re on foot now, ditching the car about an hour walk away for extra pre-caution. The sun isn’t quite up yet so they’re still able to take advantage of the dark.

Lexa leads them through the alley way. This place is completely run down and it’s going to be hard to have to start all over again. They’ve only got the basics in this location so getting the equipment they need is going to be an important first task for them.

Hand-in-hand they walk, on high alert from any possible threats. But fortunately for them, the only thing unexpected are a couple of stray cats that spook as they walk past.

“Up here,” Lexa whispers, pointing towards the fire escape.

With Clarke right on her tail, Lexa climbs up the fire escape and takes them up three levels. From there, she unhinges one of the windows and climbs through, offering her hand to help Clarke in as well.

Lexa places her index finger on her lips, picks up a metal bar from the ground and continues to guide them. They’re both stealthy, despite the broken down nature of the building they’re in. She guides them out of the room and down a couple of flight of stairs.

“Entrances are blocked off from the outside,” Lexa explains, “That’s why we had to climb up the fire escape.”

Clarke offers a simple nod and they continue on. They reach the ground floor and head towards the back, that’s where everyone else _should_ be, given that they made it. Lexa is careful though, knowing very well that her team would be well prepared for any intruders.

They come to a quick stop as footsteps approach them from behind, the all too familiar sound of a gun turning off its safety echoing through the room. Lexa stiffens, and she feels Clarke do the same.

The air is tense.

“ _Lexa?”_

At the sound of Anya’s voice everything drops, “It’s us,” Lexa replies.

Anya puts the safety back on and holsters her gun. “Where the hell have you been?!” she asks. Before Lexa can answer, Anya continues with her mini rant. She steps towards Lexa and surely enough, punches her shoulder, “You could have called!” Anya then moves to punch Clarke’s shoulder as well.

“Ow,” Lexa says softly. “It’s good to see you to.”

Clarke laughs, rubbing her shoulder slightly. “Did everyone else make it back?”

“Is everyone okay?” Lexa asks.

Anya nods. “Yes and yes.” She then guides them towards the back and down another couple of hidden stairs. Here they reach the basement, a cleared-out space that will provide the shelter they need for the time being.

It’s a round of semi-warm welcomes when Lexa sees everyone. Everyone looks okay, but it’s evident that they’ve put up one hell of a fight. This one was too close of a call for them.

Both Clarke and Lexa take a moment to sit down and catch their breaths. In the meantime, Octavia gives them some food, water and a couple of extra layers to warm them back up.

Over to one side of the room, Aden, Raven and Becca work together to set up some equipment, Alie is handcuffed to the wall (presumably knocked out) and Lincoln is cleaning some weapons.

Eventually they all gather around the small metal table - some sit on chairs, others stand. Lexa knows that she’s got to take the lead in this conversation but she feels like she still needs a moment, well many moments if it were possible. However, that’s not a luxury she can afford.

They start off with ensuring that the GPS tracker on the black boxes have been disabled for the time being. Becca assures them that it has and that it won’t be a problem for them.

The next agenda is to talk about how everyone got out of the command centre. Anya tells her side of the story first. They had a run in with a few agents but they were quickly able to dodge any real danger.

Octavia and both Raven recount their time at the command centre as well (or The Bat Cave as Raven likes to call it). It was hard for them to get out but they managed to do so with the help of Aden.

Lexa then lets Clarke take the lead in telling the group what happened to them. She offers extra pieces of information here and there, telling the group what she thinks is also important to share. They come to the part of the story where they run into the agents in the woods. That definitely peaks everyone’s interest and curiosity.

Clarke tells them about the men they saw; what they looked like, how they talked and walked and the group comes to the same conclusion as they did – Jaha’s hired an outside group.

“Elite agents to take us out?” Octavia suggests.

Lexa shakes her head. “There was one guy who wasn’t happy that they had to be part of the search party.”

“Lexa’s right,” Clarke adds. “He mentioned something about a sole operation they were hired for. Operation…”

“Operation Adnihilo,” Lexa finishes.

 “ _Adnihilo?_ ” Aden asks, “What does that mean?”

Lexa shrugs softly, “We haven’t been able to figu–”

“It’s Latin,” Becca cuts in. Everyone turns their attention to Becca, curiously waiting for her to continue – but she doesn’t. Instead Lexa notices the shift in her overall presence.

“Becca?” Lexa says carefully, “What does it mean?”

But Becca doesn’t respond, instead the response comes from the other side of the room. Alie shifts in her position as she wakes up. She clears her throat rather harshly. “It’s Latin for _annihilate.”_

 

* * *

“ _Annihilate.”_

The word seems to echo continuously through the room and as for Clarke, it takes a couple of moments for it to actually registers. Everyone is quick to disregard what she’s saying because they have no reason to trust her. But Becca – being the voice of reason – confirms that Alie is telling the truth.

While it is tempting, no one asks anything more from Alie. It’s just a given that she’s not going to answer anything they have to ask. Instead, Raven and Aden move to their computers and make their way into The Ark system to see if they can find anything. At first there’s nothing but Raven says that she might be able to find hidden spots in the network with help from Monty. It might just take some time.

Meanwhile, Anya takes Alie and locks her up in the adjacent room so she isn’t privy to their discussion. Once she’s back, the group discusses what Operation Adnihilo could be. But with only the Latin meaning to go off, all their ideas bring a shiver down their spines. When the code name for the black ops operation literally translates into “annihilate”, one thing is certain – Jaha does not want them alive at the end of it. 

The conversation gets them nowhere though. At this point they’re just wasting their breath. Even though they have the last black boxes, Clarke can still sense a wave of defeat in the group. And it sucks not being able to do anything about it because she feels that defeat too. The Ark has taken so much away from them – mentally, physically and emotionally. She can only guess that everyone is hanging on by a thread.

Talk stops at the table as Anya takes Becca and leaves. The two women head upstairs and everyone is a little confused. So they wait in silence.

It’s about five minutes later that Anya and Becca return. Anya asks everyone to gather around again, in a voice that can only be described as serious. She takes her spot at the head of the table and that’s when Clarke knows that they’re going to have a major discussion on whatever Anya is going to bring up.

“I am almost certain that we won’t find anything about Adnihilo in the Ark,” Anya announces. “If what we think about the outside group is true, they’re not going to put their plan into a system that’s comprised.”

“What are you saying we do?” Octavia asks.

“The only person who _might_ know anything is Alie.”

At this moment, Clarke’s eyes fall to Becca. She’s still, almost lifeless.  Her focus is just on the middle of the empty table and it doesn’t even seem like she’s listening to what Anya is saying.

“And Alie isn’t going to just answer the questions we have,” Anya continues. “We have to–”

Clarke immediately jumps from her seat, slamming her hand on the table, “NO!” she yells. “If you’re suggesting that we do to her what she’s done to us, you’ve got to be out of your mind.”

“There’s no other way.”

“How does that make us any better than The Ark?” Clarke replies.

The table goes silent again, everyone clearly trying to decide what side they’re on. But the thing is, they should all be on the same side. Torturing is not a part of who they are (anymore).

Anya remains calm though, “If you have another way, I would honestly love nothing more.”

Now it’s Clarke’s turn to remain quiet. She sits back down and drops her head into her hands before looking back at Anya. “We can’t. We have fought so hard to _not_ be the people The Ark turned us into.”

“Clarke’s right,” Raven adds. “We can’t go backwards.”

“We can’t go forwards if we don’t do anything,” Anya counters.

It goes back and forth, back and forth. Everyone makes valid points and there’s no doubt that people understand the other side of argument. Even Clarke understands, and by the end of it she’s somewhere stuck in the middle.

Lexa reaches over and intertwines their hands together. “Sometimes we need to lose a battle to win a war,” she whispers.

Clarke lets out a small sigh and once again, her eyes fall to Becca. Becca hasn’t said anything at all but Clarke assumes that the talk she had with Anya earlier was enough. But still, she doesn’t know how they can justify this. There is a line to what they’re doing and do they really want to cross it?

“I’m not asking _anyone_ to actually be the one to do it,” Anya clarifies, “That will fall to me. But we are a team, and this is something we all have to agree on.”

That much Clarke can agree with. This isn’t like choosing between whether or not to take a car or motorbike during an op– this choice could divide them for the rest of the mission. And with them being so close the end, they can’t afford that.

“So, all in favour…” Anya says, raising her hand slightly in the air.

Lexa, Lincoln and Octavia are the first to raise their hands as well. Those three are one in the same, arguing that this is something they need to do from the beginning. Clarke looks to Raven and Aden, and offers a small and reassuring nod. She raises her hand slowly, but it doesn’t stop her from feeling the weight of the world on her shoulders. Raven and Aden soon follow suit.

Then it’s just Becca. All eyes are on her but she has no response yet. She turns her head towards the room Alie is in and takes a couple of deep breaths. “We do what we have to do,” Becca replies.

Clarke knows that out of everyone in this room (besides Becca), Anya has the biggest history with Alie. And it’s not a good one. Anya was rebellious and someone who the other recruits and agents looked up to. She had influence and higher ups did not like that. So time and time again, Alie would do her thing, would gain control over Anya. But with everything that’s happened, Clarke realises that Anya learnt how to block it out – to play the part of the loyal agent all the while planning this great battle with Lexa.

And out of everyone in the group, she’s probably the only one with the stomach to do this. Interrogating is not an easy task, but to torture is a whole new thing. Clarke’s ashamed to say it, but she’s had a hand in torturing and she immediately threw up afterwards.

They break off after this. Clarke watches as Anya instructs Lincoln and Octavia to grab a few things from around the basement. Anya then takes Becca to a corner of the room where they begin to talk again. And from Anya’s expression and the way she holds herself, Clarke knows that this is a personal conversation between the two women.

It’s hard to look away but eventually Lincoln and Octavia return with what Anya’s asked for. There’s a toolbox and a backpack on the table but Clarke doesn’t dare ask what’s inside them. While she knows that this is what they have to do, it doesn’t stop the sick churning feeling in her stomach.

Anya soon comes by and grabs the stuff.

“If you need us, we’ll be here,” Clarke reassures.

Anya gives a small nod and makes her way to the room Alie is in. She doesn’t look back but stands in front of the door. Anya takes a rather large breath and a moment to compose herself before heading inside.

Once the door closes, Clarke finds Lexa’s hand again. “This is…”

“I know,” Lexa replies, “But this is the life we have. We fight evil with evil when we need to.”

“Lose some battles to win a war…” Clarke repeats quietly.

 

* * *

 

An hour passes and the mood in the room remains… _still._ While a couple of the guys are trying to work on finding anything about Operation Adnihilo in the Ark’s system, the atmosphere in the room is draining. While Lexa feels the defeat too, she knows she needs to change it. They’ve come to a stop but it’s not without some wins.

Lexa looks around the room, trying to decide what she can do to lift spirits. It’s hard because of the situation they’re in. The only way they’ll all be okay is when this is all over.

But eventually something clicks. She looks at the black boxes and decides that they should destroy them as a group. It will be a good outlet for them. A physical and mental reminder that they are _so_ close to winning – they are so close to getting everything they’ve been working towards.

Lexa runs the idea by Clarke first, since she’s right by her side. Clarke agrees without much thought – and says that the group needs something like this to keep moving forward.

Lexa then talks to Becca about it. She too agrees that it’s something they can do. They really should destroy the boxes sooner rather than later – just in case something happens (again).

So while Becca preps for the destruction of the boxes, Lexa gathers everyone around an empty space of the room. She decides not to interrupt Anya – knowing that it could set her back in her interrogation with Alie. Everyone besides Clarke is a little curious, but eventually follows along when Becca places the boxes on the ground and hands over a hammer to Lexa.

Lexa twirls the hammer in her hand and looks around to her team, “We are so close to the end,” she starts, “I know right now it doesn’t feel like we’re winning. We’ve had to cross lines and believe me when I say that I don’t cross them lightly.” She pauses and takes a couple breaths. Everyone stares at her with an understanding expression. “But look how far we've come. In just a moment all the black boxes will be destroyed and we will finally be able to take down The Ark once and for all." She pauses to look at everyone again, to make sure they know she's speaking to every single one of them. "You've all sacrificed a lot, if not everything, and I will do everything in my power to make sure we win this."

Octavia speaks up, “We couldn’t have done this without any of you,” she says as she looks around the group as well.

Lexa nods and offers a small smile. She turns to Becca, “Do we have another hammer?”

“We do,” Becca replies. She heads off and comes back just a moment later, handing the hammer to Lexa.

Lexa walks over to Octavia, handing one of the hammers over. “Ai laik Leksa kom Heda kru–”

“–Oso throu daun ogeda,” Octavia finishes, as she accepts it.

They both give each other a slight nod with everyone around them repeating the chant, “Oso throu daun ogeda.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> firstly i am very sorry if the translation of "adnihilo" is wrong. i tried to check a few sites but there's always a chance i could still be wrong. if it is and you know the correct translation, please let me know :)
> 
> anyways i'm so so sorry that's it's been like 4 months since my last update. i've just had a lot going on with post grad studies and job hunting and what not. but i've finally found some time (and motivation) to write this chapter. not only that but i have finished outlining the rest of this story (if you didn't notice the finalised chapter count already). i've put a lot of time and love into this fic and i really hope that i can bring it home and do the ending justice. 
> 
> thank you all for sticking around. i can definitely promise that it won't be another four months till the next update :)
> 
> also help me choose what my next clexa fic should be. leave a comment or tweet me @solinasolina


	23. sacrifices

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> adnihilo + the final battle looms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're so close to the end! happy reading xx

Four hours – that’s how long it is before Anya emerges out of the room. Her steps are barely there and Lexa almost doesn’t notice. But at first glance Lexa has never seen Anya like… _this._ She looks empty, like the life has been sucked out of her. And that is saying a lot since she’s known and worked with Anya for years now.

But this moment is nothing she’s ever seen before. Anya stands with a dead glare, her shirt and hands slightly bloody. Knowing what’s happened, it’s hard for Lexa to stomach. Everyone else soon sees Anya, and they all react the same way. The stay silent. They watch and wait to see if she’s going to make the first move.

Anya licks her lips and the tension in the room shifts.

Lexa thinks that maybe Anya will finally say something, but nothing comes. Instead the deafening silence continues. It is thick and laced with so much tension. Everyone is looking to Lexa because she’s probably the only one who should make the first move.

Just as Lexa stands up, Anya lifts her hand silently telling her to stop. She comes to a still and waits again.

“We were wrong,” Anya starts off, in a voice that is quiet and… scared. “Operation Adnihilo doesn’t have anything to do with us.”

Lexa raises her eyebrow, “What are you talking about Anya?”

Anya moves to the shelf and grabs the first aid kit before returning to her previous position. “The group weren’t hired to annihilate us… Jaha’s hired them to kill _everyone_ in The Ark.”

Silent gasps fill the room and with that Anya walks back into the room where Alie is still in. At first Lexa takes a look around and everyone is just shocked (and rightfully so). She does the only thing she can think of doing right now, she follows Anya and closes the door behind her.

Though they’ve already crossed the line, Lexa trusts that Anya knew when to stop during her interrogation. But that doesn’t stop her from preparing for the worst when she walks. To her surprise though, it is nowhere near as bad as she thought it would be.

Upon closer inspection Alie has a bruised eye, a cut lip and blood drips from her hands. While it’s not nothing, this is barely a scratch in their books. But yet Anya still opens the first aid kit, stands by Alie and cleans the wounds. Alie is hesitant at first, moving her face away from Anya but she concedes eventually.

Lexa couldn’t even dream of a sight like this even if she tried. She walks towards them cautiously, predetermining what she’s going to say in her mind. But her thoughts clash and jumble and she finds herself losing the ability to compose herself.

But she can’t be like this in front of Alie. Even though Alie looks as if she’s broken herself, she will undoubtedly still be able to get into Lexa’s mind if she’s not careful.

“How are you still alive, Woods?” Alie asks.

That’s when Lexa realises that she’s meant to be dead to The Ark. But that cover has been blown since the attack on the command centre. At least now she’ll be able to be out in the front lines again.

“Sheer wit and determination,” Lexa replies rather seriously. “Tell me about Operation Adnihilo.”

Alie huffs – chuckles even. Surprisingly she lets Anya continue to clean her wounds. “You will not win this.”

“I think we’re doing okay,” Lexa replies. “We have you, don’t we?”

Alie nods. “You do. But it does not mean that you will win. You are smart Lexa, I can give you that. But Adnihilo is not about you. These guys do not care for you. They have one job and one job only.”

“To annihilate The Ark.”

“Adnihilo,” Alie says in low and callous voice.

“Why?”

“Why do you think Lexa?”

Lexa sighs, “I don’t have time to play your games.”

“The only thing I have is time now,” Alie whips. “I have nothing left to lose. I, personally, have lost this battle.”

Lexa tries something different, “Help us do the right thing,” she pleads. “You can still be on the right side of this.”

“Don’t waste your breath, Lexa,” Anya mumbles as she finishes cleaning Alie’s hand. She closes the first aid kit and heads towards the door without another word.

Once Anya closes the door, Lexa turns her attention back to Alie. “She must have done a number on you to make you talk.”

“At what cost though?” Alie bites back. “I’m not an easy person to crack, Lexa.”

That reply gets Lexa thinking about how Anya got Alie to talk. But she pushes her curiosity aside for the time being, making a mental note to go check on Anya as soon as she’s done here.

“Tell me about Adnihilo,” Lexa commands again.

The dirtiest smirk crosses Alie’s face. “Pretend that The Ark’s operation is your entire mission, Lexa. Pretend you’re Jaha. What would _you_ do to ensure that it’s successful?” she asks.

Lexa knows she shouldn’t play but she knows that it’s probably the only way she’ll get any answers. “I’d fill it with the best people possible.”

Alie nods, “What else?”

“Plan everything accordingly and strategically…”

“And?”

Lexa thinks about it for a moment, “Have a protocol for everything.”

Alie nods, “What would your protocol be for an unsuccessful mission?”

“The same as what The Ark has now; clean up and reassess.”

“What about if it’s unsuccessful again?”

“Clean up and reassess,” Lexa replies.

“And what if it’s unsuccessful again? And Again? And again?” Alie pauses just for a moment. “Do you clean up and reassess the mission? Or do you clean up and reassess _the people_ on the mission?”

Lexa doesn’t respond as it all falls in place for her.

“Clearly The Ark isn’t able to take you and your team down,” Alie continues. “So Jaha isn’t reassessing the mission anymore, he’s reassessing the players.”

“Annihilating them you mean.”

“If you want to put it like that.”

A sick churning feeling begins in her stomach but Lexa keeps a brave face. She wants to get as much information out of Alie as she can. However, while what she has now is important, she’s doesn’t think she’ll able to get anything more useful. But she’s got to try while Alie is being “talkative.”

Alie straightens herself up in her chair, stretching her neck from side to side. “Isn’t this what you want though?” she asks. “To take down The Ark once and for all? Adnihilo is all about that.”

“You know that’s not how I want it to happen.”

“How do you think this ends Lexa?” Alie asks.

“With Jaha behind bars.”

“And what about everyone else?”

Lexa doesn’t respond. While their FBI deal will assess everyone else on a case by case basis, she can’t let Alie know about it. It could jeopardise their futures.

“One last chance to help us,” Lexa warns. “Once I leave this room, that’s it.”

“Goodbye Lexa and good luck.”

Lexa turns on her heels and walks out. She isn’t sure how she’s feeling at the moment. While they now know what Adnihilo is, they’ve got to come up with a major plan in order to be able to save everyone.

As she steps back into the basement, everyone is waiting for her. Their expressions are blank, as if they already know that what Alie has said is true – Jaha plans to wipe everyone out.

It’s awfully silent.

Lexa lets out a deep sigh, “It’s true,” she says. “Adnihilo is a fail-safe for The Ark.”

“Why does The Ark need a fail-safe?” Aden asks.

Octavia speaks up first, “Because The Ark hasn’t been able to stop us. Jaha’s been mad ever since Lexa came back and now he just isn’t having anymore of it.” She looks to Lexa for confirmation.

Lexa nods, “Jaha wants results, so we need to act fast.” She pauses and quickly decides that she needs to delegate and prioritise their tasks. “If you need a moment, take it. But who knows when Adnihilo will happen.” She looks around the room again, “Raven, can you get in touch with Monty and see if knows _anything_ about Adnihilo. Don’t tell him what it is though.”

“I can do that,” Raven replies. “However we don’t have a secure line set up yet.”

“Get a burner phone and meet with him. Take… Octavia with you.” Lexa then turns to Lincoln, “Do you think you can do a sketch of the men if Clarke and I describe them to you?” she asks.

Lincoln nods confidently. “I’ll find what I need.”

“Aden,” Lexa calls out, “Once Lincoln is done with the sketch can you run them through all the databases you can to see if we can get a match.”

“Yep. I’ll set up the rest of the equipment right away,” he replies

“I can help with that,” Becca offers.

“Good,” Lexa replies. She stops and takes a moment to think about her mental checklist. While everyone is now busy, she goes to find Anya (who has stepped out for some fresh air).

Lexa finds Anya in the small alleyway behind the building. She sits on some old milk crates, flipping her butterfly knife seamlessly. Lexa’s heart drops because this is her mentor, her best friend and she’s almost certain that Anya’s had to do some things she’s regretting.

“Mind if I sit?” Lexa asks quietly.

Anya shakes her head and continues to play with her knife. This is when Lexa sees the state of Anya’s hands. They’ve got bruises and scratches on them. While physically it’s nothing to her, it’s got to be the hardest interrogation that Anya’s been through.

“Your hands…” Lexa whispers.

Anya brushes it off, “I’m fine.”

“Clearly not.” Lexa pauses and waits to see what she should do next. Over the course of their friendship she’s learnt the signs that tell her to push further and the ones that tell her to stay back for the time being.

Right now Anya’s general stoic exterior has fallen – something that she doesn’t let happen around a lot of people. Her mind is off and she’s not focused. She’s not _Anya Carson – former leader of Alpha Team,_ but rather just _Anya._

“Talk to me,” Lexa whispers.

With one final flick of her butterfly knife, Anya places it on the ground and turns her seat towards Lexa. “We’ve lost,” Anya says bluntly. “Sure we have the boxes and Alie. But we have no weapons, no man power, and we don’t even have a bloody communication system set up.”

“Anya–”

“No,” Anya cuts in, “I’m not done.” She pauses to take a deep breath, “I have taught you a lot, Lexa and I am so, so proud of you. We both had doubts about this mission but you did it… and yes we all have our role in this, but you got it started, you’re the one who decided that enough was enough.”

“You’re going to say that enough is enough now, aren’t you?” Lexa asks.

Anya nods slightly. “How are we going to beat an elite group of black op agent when _we_ were supposed to be the elite group of black op agents? We are good but can we really take down a group of agents whose sole purpose is to kill everyone at The Ark?”

“We tackle it like any other mission.”

“This isn’t any other mission though!” Anya exclaims as she stands up from her seat. The force of her actions makes the milk crate topple over.

Lexa lets Anya pace back and forth for the time being, not even batting an eye when she kicks a couple of the crates. There’s only been one other time Lexa’s seen Anya like this. It was the day higher ups told them that Lexa would be going on her graduation mission. Anya believed Lexa wasn’t ready but higher ups ignored her concerns.

Anya eventually grabs another crate and sits back down.

“How are you giving up so easily?” Lexa asks. She’s almost angry at this point but she knows there’s got to be an explanation for this. The Anya she knows does not give up at a drop of the hat – especially when they’re so close to their goal.

“I’m not,” Anya argues weakly.

Lexa huffs, “Listen to yourself, you are giving up. This isn’t you.”

An expression flashes across Anya’s face that lets Lexa know that her mentor is just so confused right now. Lexa undoubtedly understands where this feeling is coming from and she wants to do everything she can to help.

Lexa continues, “The Ark has taken years from us,” she says in quieter voice, “And we have put years into this mission. We can’t let it all go to waste.”

“I’m sorry,” Anya whispers.

Thinking that Anya’s given up breaks Lexa’s heart. She wouldn’t say it out loud but Anya’s one of the people who she really can’t do this without. She’d never say it out loud because Anya would stay and fight with her even if she didn’t want to. But one thing she’s learnt throughout all of this is that she can’t do it alone. She needs other people the way other people need her.

“I’m sorry,” Anya repeats, “I think Alie got to me.”

Lexa lets out a small sigh of relief. She reaches forward and places her hand on Anya’s shoulder, taking a couple of deep breaths in the process. They stay silent for the time being because Lexa knows all too well the effects of Alie. She wishes she could say she’s surprised. Alie has an undeniable ability to get into people’s minds, even if she’s the one being interrupted.

“What happen in there?” Lexa asks quietly.

“She got to me,” Anya whispers, “I let her get to me and now...” she chokes on her answer.

The response concerns Lexa immensely. “What happened?”

“I…” Anya stops and swallows the lump in her throat. “Alie knows about Carson.”

“I’ll get Becca on it.” Lexa doesn’t wait for a response. She’s almost jogs back into the safehouse and finds Becca immediately. In under a minute Lexa tells Becca to get a security detail on Carson (Anya’s brother) and his family. One of the great things about Becca is that she knows when to ask questions and when to just do the thing she’s asked.

Lexa returns back outside, ignoring the way her team look at her curiously. She’ll get to them later, right now she needs to be with Anya. Once she’s back outside, she finds Anya with her head in her hands. She knows how bad it feels to put loved ones in danger. Even though Anya hasn’t been in contact with Carson in years, Lexa knows that she loves him and would do anything to protect him.

“I’ve got Becca on it,” Lexa says quietly, returning to her seat. “I’ll do everything I can to make sure he’s safe. I promise.”

Anya nods and Lexa’s immediate reaction is to pull her into a hug. Lexa whispers quiet reassurances but puts no pressure on Anya to do anything but take a moment to herself. Away from the rest of the group, it’s as if Lexa is a shield for her mentor to just… fall away. Sometimes it’s easier to push through the pain than just to push it away. So for now, Lexa doesn’t let go until Anya’s ready.

“If anything happens to him or his family…” Anya whispers.

Lexa shakes her head and guides Anya to sit up, “We’ll take care of them. Alie will remain with us until we can hand her to the FBI. She won’t be able to tell anyone.”

The response seems to calm Anya down slightly. “I can’t believe I cracked. Years of fighting Alie’s ways and I can’t make it work when it matters the most.”

“But you got what we needed,” Lexa tries to reason, “I don’t think any of us could have gotten the information about Adnihilo from her.”

“At what cost though? I put Carson in danger.”

“We’ll take care of him,” Lexa reassures again.

As the moments pass, Lexa can slowly see Anya slowly being able to refocus. Lexa’s always thought of Anya as some sort of super human and now is just another moment that proves it. This doesn’t mean that Anya’s not hurting, because she definitely is. But from the pain, she will be able to put her energy into the fighting the rest of this battle.

“What do I tell the others?” Anya asks.

“You tell them what you’re comfortable with telling them. No one knows about your brother and they don’t need to.”

“Octavia knows,” Anya corrects.

Lexa raises an eyebrow, “She does?”

Anya nods. “It was after the incident on the boat, when you were unconscious.”

“Please don’t tell me you were smoking again.” The silence from Anya’s side is enough of a confirmation for Lexa.

“It was a stressful time,” Anya argues. “You know how smoke rings calms me.”

Lexa all but rolls her eyes. “It’s a dirty habit.”

“We’re being chased down by an elite group of assassins and you’re concerned about my smoking habit?” Anya questions.

“Just tell me you didn’t get Octavia into it.”

“She asked me to teach her how to blow rings.”

“And you taught her?” Lexa exclaims. “You won’t even teach me.”

Anya chuckles.  “You were giving me an earful about smoking a second ago, and now you want to smoke so you can blow rings?”

Lexa shares a small laugh and it clicks for the two of them. That moment comes when they _both_ remember that they’ve got to keep going.

Anya offers her hand to Lexa, “Our fight is not over.”

Lexa’s response is instantaneous as she grabs Anya’s forearm, “Together,” she replies.

“ _Together.”_

 

* * *

 

Throughout the night, they take turns to work through any leads that might help them combat Operation Adnihilo. Lexa spends her time with Clarke and Lincoln initially. The three of them work together to create a sketch of the men they saw in the woods. It takes a while to compose the picture, as they are both working of hazy memories.

Once the sketches are done, Aden puts them through every single database he can think of. And Lexa stays with him during this time. While it is just a waiting game at this point, it gives her a chance to get to know him a little better. Ever since Aden escaped the Ark with them, it’s been go, go, go. And while now isn’t probably the best time to get to know each other, it provides a welcome distraction while they wait for results.

Even after talking with Aden for a couple of hours, Lexa sees a lot of herself in him. She sees the drive and determination to fight for what he believes in. She sees strength, loyalty and compassion. She sees exactly why he fits so well with this group.

By 6am Lexa is the only one awake. Everyone else sleeps around the safe house and she knows she should too – but sleep is a foreign concept to her. So instead she continues running down leads in order to try and get them somewhere, _anywhere._ It’s a harrowing task, especially when it’s dead end after dead end.

While she waits for facial recognition to get a match, she manages to call one of her old contacts. If there’s one thing they need going forward, it’s weapons. And thankfully she just happens to know someone in that field who owes her a favour. So she sets up an appointment and decides to take Anya and Lincoln once they’re awake.

 

The first person to wake is Octavia. As she approaches the table, the two of them offer a small smile to each other. While it’s not just the two of them anymore, Lexa still feels a bond to Octavia that she doesn’t have with anyone else.

“You didn’t get any sleep, did you?” Octavia asks, taking the seat next to Lexa.

Lexa shakes her head. “No sleep and no matches either.”

“Hmm, that’s not a surprise,” Octavia replies, “Their files are probably wiped like ours.”

Lexa knows that this is a possibility. But they need a match to move forward because right now they don’t have a lot to go off. “We still got a handful of databases to go through,” she whispers, “Hopefully we’ll get something.”

“And then what?”

“Then we figure out who these people are,” Lexa replies. Her voice is quiet, not filled with the strength and confidence that she usually tries to portray. “Figure out their weaknesses, their plans, figure out a way to save the people at The Ark.”

Octavia yawns, “Funny how our initial goal was to take down The Ark and now we need to save it.”

“We need to save the people,” Lexa corrects. “None of us are innocent, but Adnihilo is not the way to take down The Ark.”

“I know,” Octavia breathes.

“It’s an easy bet to say that there are people in The Ark ready to jump ship. They just need a chance to do so.”

“Do you think Bellamy will?” Octavia asks rather abruptly.

Lexa takes a moment to think about it. At this stage, it’s arguable that she knows him a little better than Octavia. But a lot has happened while she was “dead” and she doesn’t quite know if the Bellamy today is the same Bellamy from all those years ago. She wants to believe that he’ll be on the right side of this – for Octavia’s sake.

Octavia sighs. “I don’t think he will,” she continues, “He would have done so already.”

“There’s still time,” Lexa argues.

“Not with Adnihilo.”

Lexa shakes her head and places her hand on Octavia’s back. “I can’t tell you what your brother will do,” she whispers, “But I want to believe that he will be on the right side of this.”

“Yeah… me too.”

 

* * *

 

Breakfast is relatively normal. Clarke sits and makes small talk with Aden as they continue to see if their sketches get any matches. They have a bagel each and some decent coffee, courtesy of Becca. Raven and Octavia are sparring over to one side of the room, while Becca also works at one of their computers.

Lexa, Anya and Lincoln have gone out to get some weapons. While Clarke doesn’t know how or from who, she trusts them whole heartedly. Plus, they seriously need extra weapons if they’re going to get anywhere successfully.

Aden suddenly lets out a disgruntled sigh, causing Clarke to jump slightly.

“Sorry,” he says. “Another database done, and yet no matches.”

“Is that all of them?” Clarke asks.

Aden shakes his head. “We still have a few more databases we can check.”

“These guys are pros, so getting a match would be like finding a needle in a haystack,” Clarke replies. “Don’t beat yourself up if we don’t get a match.”

Aden offers a small nod, but Clarke can tell that he’s feeling the weight of this task on his shoulders. But then again, she thinks they all are. At this point there isn’t much to go off and everyone is getting a little anxious. Not having a plan is never a good thing, and with something like Adnihilo looming, it’s just that much worse.

“ _Just tell him in the nicest way possible, to fuck off… Yeah well you know kindness isn’t a strong suit of mine.”_

Anya’s voice carries throughout the basement, catching everyone’s attention. She hangs up the phone and drops the two duffel bags she’s carrying onto the table. Lexa and Lincoln follow closely behind, also with two duffel bags each.

“Who was that on the phone?” Becca asks, “Are we going to have any problems?”

Anya simply shakes her head. “No problems, I promise.”

“We got weapons,” Lexa announces.

Everyone stops what they’re doing and heads towards the table. No one questions where the weapons came from – there’s just a mutual understanding between the group. As Anya empties the duffel bags on the table, Clarke cosies up to Lexa and intertwines their fingers together.

They stay like this as Anya and Lincoln do an inventory check. It’s a pretty standard set, plus a few extra fancier items (ones that Clarke is kind of itching to use). Everyone is assigned a standard glock for the time being, while the other weapons are put away until they’re needed.

A loud continuous dinging sound alerts then alerts the group to one of their computers. Aden’s as quick as ever to retake his seat.

“We got a match!” he yells.

The rest of the group crowds around him and they all wait anxiously for him to pull up the match so they can all see.

Clarke takes the lead in reading the details out loud. “Winston R. Ros, 45, army man…”

Lincoln then points to the bottom right of the laptop screen, “Not just an army man, Commander of B8-18. They use to be a top group in the military.”

“Used to be?” Octavia asks.

Aden hums and pulls up some more information, “His group was discharged in 2010,” he reads, “But their file seems to be redacted.”

“On it!” Raven calls out. She moves to her own laptop and begins to (presumably) try to un-redact the file.

“Does he look like one of the men you saw in the woods?” Anya asks.

Clarke and Lexa both take another look at the screen before both agreeing that Winston R. Ros is their man. More information is brought up – but not without problems. A lot of Winston’s files have been hidden.

Everyone begins to work on digging up what information they can. Clarke clears down one of the walls and grabs a marker. She begins to map down what they know – beginning with Jaha at the top. There’s also a middle person between Jaha and Winston (as Lexa remembers Winston saying ‘ _the boss owes Jaha a favour’_ in the woods).

From Winston, they try to find information on the other members of his B8-18 team. There’s a common theme amongst the names they find – that they were all discharged in 2010 and seemed to have disappeared from society after that. While it’s not an exact list of the potential black ops groups, it’s a good start.

Two hours later and Clarke’s mind map on the wall is slowly coming together. While they don’t have a middle man yet, they find the names of seven other people who have served with Winston. They manage to build small profiles for each of the team members, but again, there isn’t much public information readily available.

The day passes and occasionally they get a new piece of information. At this point they’ll take what they can get. Clarke continues to build upon the mind map while others do research and a few of them take of some training tatics.

During this time Monty also calls in and lets the group know that it is once again pretty hectic at The Ark. Jaha now knows that Lexa is alive and Monty thinks that this is the last straw. He’s never seen Jaha like this and he’s worried about what he’s going to do in order to get to Lexa and the group.

Clarke tries to reassure him that they will be fine and that they’ve still got a lot of fight in them. Talking to Monty hurts her though – because they’ve collectively decided to not tell him about Adnihilo yet. The last thing they want to do is cause a panic. So, while Clarke feels extremely bad for holding back the truth about what’s happening, she knows that it’s for the better.

 

* * *

 

There’s a silent agreement that Lexa is the one to take the lead in running the mission. While they’ve all played their part into getting to this point, she’s the one that deserves to drive this home. Lexa’s a natural born leader so she steps into the position with confidence. While there have been times where she felt as if they weren’t going to make it, she looks at her team now and knows that they can really do this.

For the next couple of days, every waking moment is spent either monitoring The Ark, looking into Winston and his team or training. They basically run their days as if they were still in The Ark. This is the final battle and they need to be as prepared as they can be.

While they aren’t sure of what Adnihilo will entail, they run through as much possible scenarios as they can. The most important thing though is that everyone is able to hold themselves in a fight – whether it’s strategically or with strength. There is no doubt that it’s going to be tough and brutal and Lexa continuously stresses this to her team.

During this time they also make a call to Gina, their FBI contact, to let her know that something is going to happen soon. While Gina wants more information, Lexa simply laughs it off and says that she also wants more information. So Gina leaves it at that and they also organise a time for her to pick up Alie. Alie’s barely spoken three words since her interrogation with Anya so Lexa is pretty sure that they won’t be able to get anything else out of her.

By the end of the third day of solid training, Lexa can tell that everyone is slightly on edge. It’s a daunting feeling, knowing that the ball is going to drop at any moment. Their mind map is as complete as she thinks it’s going to get and there’s just been no new news from The Ark. Jaha’s gone quiet and that scares a lot of them.

It approaches 10pm and everyone is just scattered about the basement. Morale isn’t low… but it isn’t necessarily high either. There’s not much else they can do but wait – but even then, waiting is dangerous. Jaha could execute Adnihilo at any given point.

Lexa stands at a point in the basement where she can see everyone and everyone can see her. It’s only a few seconds before is looking at her and for reason, Lexa feels as if she’s speaking in front of a crowd of a thousand people. She doesn’t get nervous often but she can admit (to herself) when she is.

The room feels cold.

The enormity of this final battle looms over her.

“Not a lot of people outside this room will know the things you’ve had to sacrifice in order to get here today,” Lexa starts. “But I will know and I will never forget. I will never forget the strength and bravery each and every one of you carry.” She pauses and takes a moment and her nerves fall away. Everyone is offering reassuring nods, so she carries on. “With the black boxes destroyed, I really feel as if this is the final battle. It’s either do or die from here and I know we can _do._ ”

“What’s our goal when we do have to act?” Aden asks cautiously.

“As crazy as it sounds, the goal is to save the people of the Ark,” Lexa answers. “Adnihilo is not the way to end The Ark. If we let it happen then we’re no better than them.”

Anya then speaks up, seamlessly continuing the conversation. “So with that being said you look at this like you would for any other mission. The goal is not to kill, but if it comes down to it, you do what you have to do to survive.”

“Anya’s right,” Lexa says.

“How are we going to fight if we don’t know what’s going to happen?” Aden asks again.

Aden’s the one with the least amount of Ark experience between the group, so Lexa understands where he’s questions are coming from. He’s inexperience, but it doesn’t mean that he isn’t good. He could run rings around Lexa in terms of computers so he’s definitely found his place in the group.

“Do you ever know what your opponent is going to do in a fight though?” Lexa asks back. And she sees the realisation hit him as he understands that this isn’t new to them. While they can’t prepare for the fight as well as they would like, they can still do things to ensure that they can fight whatever comes their way. “We know Adnihilo is a plan to wipe out The Ark, and I’d hate to say it, but there are plenty of ways they can do it.”

Even saying it causes an uneasy feeling within Lexa. They’ve discussed multiple ideas on how the black ops group is part of Adnihilo and each one of them is worse the other. She doesn’t want to think that any of them are true, but she were Jaha and wanted to annihilate everybody, she’d want it to be done properly.

“How much longer can we wait around though?” Octavia asks.

“I don’t know,” Lexa answers honestly. While they’ve all got experience with mission and The Ark in general, _this_ is still unchartered territory for them. What they’re doing is unprecedented. ( _There’s no guidebook into taking down an agency of assassins”_ Anya once told her in the very early days of the mission). “I wish I could tell you but this is all new to ne as it is to everyone else in this room.”

Silence fills the room momentarily and Lexa goes to join Clarke on the couch. They sit close together, holding onto each other’s hands while they all just take a moment to process everything. One thing she’s learnt in her time being an agent is that as long as you’re not in danger, you take as many moments as you need to focus.

While Lexa is no mind reader, she can tell that everyone is just trying to come up with a plan for them to move forward. She’s run through multiple plans over the last few days but none of them are good enough. None of them will ultimately help them take down the Ark. All her scenarios are just too dangerous, even for them. She’s got to be smart with the people she’s got and the weapons they have.

For a couple of minutes they go back and forth but it doesn’t really take them anywhere. No one is surprised though. While they’ve been working to take down The Ark for a while now, every step is still new to them. Every challenge they have to prepare themselves for something they can’t fully prepare for.

It’s not until Becca stands up that everyone stops talking. Becca isn’t one to shout or demand a presence, so it’s not often she makes such an abrupt move.

“We can’t just sit around and train until something happens,” Becca announces. “We need to make the first move if we’re going to have any chance of winning.”

Lexa nods, “I agree. But we have to be smart about that first move.”

“Let me be Alie 2.0 again,” Becca says. “Let me infiltrate The Ark.”

The statement causes a few gasps across the room. It’s just an automatic reaction since infiltrating The Ark _again_ will undoubtedly be more dangerous than ever before.

“Not by yourself,” Anya scoffs.

Becca shakes her head, “No, it has to be by myself. We have to make it look like I’ve escaped your custody.”

“You’ll be walking into your grave,” Anya says without reservation.

But Becca stays calm, focused. “Then so be it. It’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.”

“Becca…” Lexa whispers. “There’s got to be another way. We might have been able to pass you as Alie the last time, but this time there’s no saying what can happen.”

“That’s nothing new to us, Lexa,” Becca replies.

“She wouldn’t be alone, she’d have Monty,” Raven points out.

Becca nods. “That’s true.” She pauses and looks around the room, “Look, this is what I suggest we do but we should vote on it as a group. Because if I go in again, I will need every single one of you on my side and ready to fight.”

“It's not a question of whether or not we'll be on your side,” Anya argues, “It’s just too risky.”

“No risk, no reward.”

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Lexa asks. If she were Becca, she would do it in a heartbeat. It’s a sacrifice she would also make because she knows she’s got a solid team behind her.

Becca nods. “I’m sure. We can’t wait for the ball to drop anymore.”

Lexa doesn’t argue against it. It is dangerous but she quickly realises that it’s their only viable move from here. They’ve lost most of their advantages, so it’s time to strike with what they have. It’s going to be a brutal and bloody fight but she knew this from the moment she decided she was going to take down The Ark.

“All in favour of Becca infiltrating the Ark again…” Lexa says as she raises her hand.

One by one everyone raises their hands, with Anya the last one to make her decision. But after a few agonising seconds, Anya nods and the decision is made.

Lexa nods, “Okay. Let’s infiltrate The Ark one last time.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so at the kind suggestion of one of you guys, i've decided to add an extra chapter at the end that's just going to be flashbacks. while i haven't been able to incorporate as much back story into the fic as i would have liked, the back stories do exist! 
> 
> it'll be posted once the story is done for those of you who are interested. so for example ill be sharing the moments like lexa meeting costia and clarke finding out about costia. if there's a certain flashback you want to see, let me know in the comments!

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](http://monkeykira.tumblr.com) / [twitter](http://twitter.com/solinasolina)


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